The Fellowship's Revenge
By ELF BRODs
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Author's Note: Boromir, Gandalf, and I worked on this part. I'm really happy now! YAY! This will be the last chapter until 8/17 when I get back from vacation. Read on! This is confusing at times, I know, but we aren't exactly sane either. :)
Disclaimer: I'm STILL a nothing. No change there. READ ON!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Screams and Bangs
Oh, but much to the Middle-earth characters' dismay, the actors weren't as stupid as they thought. Sean Bean, being the devious bad guy he is, began plotting an escape better than the whole "crawl-out-of-a-vent" idea. Signaling Orlando over when Legolas wasn't looking, they schemed the perfect plot. With an impressive number of sporks and fruitcakes supplied by a giant plothole, they were going to attack the fellowship and basically escape using excessive brutal force.
And if that didn't work, there was always a plan B: annoy the fellowship until they let them free. Plan B seemed so much more fun (and they were so much better at it), so they decided to skip over the original plot and carry out the second.
It was decided. Each of the actors was given an obscene and disturbing personality to portray, except the hobbit-actors, who were told to be themselves.
Orlando was to flirt mercilessly with all of the Middle-earth characters, Sean Bean was supposed to speak in sentences with only three words at a time, Liv was to be a Hollywood drama queen (that's to say a complete Bi@tch), Hugo was going to be the biggest whiner in the world, Viggo was restricted to only two phrases (being "that's not what you said last night," and "Is it supposed to do that?"), and finally, Sir Ian was to pretend to have heart-attacks every five seconds.
They were going to give the fellowship a fate worse than death. (Cue the evil laughter!)
Elrond began to notice something wrong the next morning. He quickly ran to Aragorn and Theoden who were happily watching their prisoners dangle from a tree by their toenails/feet.
"Aragorn, our...victims have been acting a little...*strange* this morning...do you think we're being too soft on them?" Elrond panicked.
Aragorn laughed. "Yeah...I think we should start the camp!"
HUNK! HUNK! HUNK! HUNK! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! WhoooooooOOOOPPPP! WhoooooooOOOOPPPP! WhoooooooOOOOPPPP! WhoooooooOOOOPPPP! DEE DA! DEE DA! DEE DA! DEE DA! ER! ER! ER! ER!
All the prisoners and their masters met at the Council of Elrond meeting place. Elrond say smugly in his chair, trying to look impressive and dignified, but then giggling while Viggo was rubbing against Elrond's legs.
"Elves and Hobbits and Prisoners and every other race that's here today! Let the training camp begin!" Elrond announced and then blew up in laughter as Viggo *again* rubbed more vigorously against his legs. "Would you stop it, you annoying victim?"
Viggo laughed insanely. "That's not what you said last night!"
The Fellowship and rest of the characters tied up their characters and hung them by their hands on a tree above the river near Rivendell. Elrond looked excited as he began to make the waters rise and then a flood occur.
"I WANT MY CHICKEN!" Dominic cried in agony. "I WANT PIE! PIE I TELL YOU! PIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" And then the actor began to swing around in circles.
"Oh shut up, you **************!" Merry yelled back as he tied a piece of cloth over Dom's mouth. "And stop that jerking or I'll deprive you of mushrooms for the rest of your life!"
Dominic began to cry. "Mwy mushwoooooooooms!" he cried threw the cloths. "I want mwy mushwoooooooooooooooms!!!"
Elijah and Sean Astin threw each other *strange* glances, but Frodo and Sam mistaken it for looks of fear and affection.
The flood that Elrond made grew and grew until the actors were crying for their parents and much, much more. Elrond looked quite smug.
"THIS ISN'T LEGAL!" Sean Bean cried. "THIS WASN'T STATED...IN MY CONTRACT!"
"Shut up, you piece of orc!" Boromir hit the Sean in the head with the handle of his sword and made the actor go unconscious. Every one was relieved as the actor was getting on their nerves (as if they all weren't).
"I VWANT MWY MWUSHWOOOOOOOOMS!!!" Dominic cried through the rag around his mouth. "I WANT MWY MWUSHWOOOOOOOOOMS!!!"
Merry and Pippin hit their heads with their hands. This Training camp was going to be harder than they thought. Elrond, on the other hand, looked very happy as he tried to teach Hugo how to make the river flood and zapped him every time he failed (which WAS everytime).
"Ok!" Elrond announced after an hour of fun. "Let the actors go!"
The actors all looked relieved-until they figured out what he meant. The fellowship untied the actors, put them in barrels, and threw them rocketing down the river.
"Aragorn? Are the nazgul's ready???" Elrond called over the river to the Gondor king. Aragorn nodded and made a signal. Within a milli-second, eight black-cloaked figures rushed after the actors (the ninth one couldn't be brought back to life due to the wounds brought on by Eowyn and Merry).
Legolas, meanwhile, having dragged Orlando away, started chatting with the actor, finding Orlando actually kind of nice.
"This is too weird," Orlando muttered.
Elrond saw Legolas run away with Orlando and chased him. After catching up with the two, Elrond tied Legolas to a tree and took away his bow and then threw Orlando in the river where the other actors were floating in barrels.
"SORRY, ORLANDO!" Elrond cried. "I GUESS YOUR GOING TO HAVE TO GO WITHOUT A BARREL!"
"Oh yeah?" Orlando yelled back. "It won't matter after I DROWN!"
Elrond sat in his chair and laid back and fell asleep. Boromir, concerned and wondering what was going to happen (hoping his victim drowned), walked over to Elrond. "Master Elrond," Boromir said respectfully, "shouldn't we be following the-um-students down the river?"
A scream was heard off in the distance (Dominic's *grin*), which was followed by nine more. Elrond looked happily at Boromir. "No," Elrond replied. "They'll be back. Either they'll run back or our special-volunteers will carry them back after scaring them to death..."
Faramir came running from his perch at the river. "MASTER ELROND! MASTER ELROND!" he cried, but mostly out of breath from the long run. "THE STUDENTS ARE ATTACKING THE NAZGULS WITH RINGING THINGS!!! The Nazguls were quite disturbed and they started to attack more...vicious! We're afraid they'll kill Dom. You must hurry and stop them!"
Elrond got up from his seat, quite annoyed, and chased Faramir down the river where the Nazguls were fighting the students with swords against cell phones. "Oh no," Elrond sighed. Then he spoke some quick words in elvish and the Nazguls fled. "This is bad...take them to their rooms. I shall tend to them."
Some of the Rivendell servants came and carried the students back to their rooms where Elrond healed them. It wasn't for another three days that the Training Camp resumed. And at this time, Eowyn was sent with the rest of the Gondor/Rohan actors to Mordor and Gimli and some other Dwarves were sent to the Mines of Moria.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Merry and Pippin snuck out in the middle of the night, waking up everyone that they passed with unsuppressive giggles. No one really cared until their were a few ear-splitting screams heard throughout Rivendell. Elrond jumped up and ran to the sounds.
"What in Mandos Halls is going on???" Elrond screamed loudly upon entering the council hall and viewing the two hobbits. At first, they appeared certainly the most innocent of angels, but Eru knows that innocent is not a word associated with halflings especially those of the names Took and Brandybuck. On their faces were the widest grins the elf lord has ever seen.
"What did you do this time?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer.
Merry and Pippin exchanged glances, and burst into another fit of laughter. Pointing at the closet nearby, they quickly ran from the elf lord's grasp and off into the safe distance.
Elrond slowly and cautiously approached the closet. With a steady hand, he opened the door and found something so frightening...
By ELF BRODs
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Author's Note: Boromir, Gandalf, and I worked on this part. I'm really happy now! YAY! This will be the last chapter until 8/17 when I get back from vacation. Read on! This is confusing at times, I know, but we aren't exactly sane either. :)
Disclaimer: I'm STILL a nothing. No change there. READ ON!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Screams and Bangs
Oh, but much to the Middle-earth characters' dismay, the actors weren't as stupid as they thought. Sean Bean, being the devious bad guy he is, began plotting an escape better than the whole "crawl-out-of-a-vent" idea. Signaling Orlando over when Legolas wasn't looking, they schemed the perfect plot. With an impressive number of sporks and fruitcakes supplied by a giant plothole, they were going to attack the fellowship and basically escape using excessive brutal force.
And if that didn't work, there was always a plan B: annoy the fellowship until they let them free. Plan B seemed so much more fun (and they were so much better at it), so they decided to skip over the original plot and carry out the second.
It was decided. Each of the actors was given an obscene and disturbing personality to portray, except the hobbit-actors, who were told to be themselves.
Orlando was to flirt mercilessly with all of the Middle-earth characters, Sean Bean was supposed to speak in sentences with only three words at a time, Liv was to be a Hollywood drama queen (that's to say a complete Bi@tch), Hugo was going to be the biggest whiner in the world, Viggo was restricted to only two phrases (being "that's not what you said last night," and "Is it supposed to do that?"), and finally, Sir Ian was to pretend to have heart-attacks every five seconds.
They were going to give the fellowship a fate worse than death. (Cue the evil laughter!)
Elrond began to notice something wrong the next morning. He quickly ran to Aragorn and Theoden who were happily watching their prisoners dangle from a tree by their toenails/feet.
"Aragorn, our...victims have been acting a little...*strange* this morning...do you think we're being too soft on them?" Elrond panicked.
Aragorn laughed. "Yeah...I think we should start the camp!"
HUNK! HUNK! HUNK! HUNK! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! WhoooooooOOOOPPPP! WhoooooooOOOOPPPP! WhoooooooOOOOPPPP! WhoooooooOOOOPPPP! DEE DA! DEE DA! DEE DA! DEE DA! ER! ER! ER! ER!
All the prisoners and their masters met at the Council of Elrond meeting place. Elrond say smugly in his chair, trying to look impressive and dignified, but then giggling while Viggo was rubbing against Elrond's legs.
"Elves and Hobbits and Prisoners and every other race that's here today! Let the training camp begin!" Elrond announced and then blew up in laughter as Viggo *again* rubbed more vigorously against his legs. "Would you stop it, you annoying victim?"
Viggo laughed insanely. "That's not what you said last night!"
The Fellowship and rest of the characters tied up their characters and hung them by their hands on a tree above the river near Rivendell. Elrond looked excited as he began to make the waters rise and then a flood occur.
"I WANT MY CHICKEN!" Dominic cried in agony. "I WANT PIE! PIE I TELL YOU! PIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" And then the actor began to swing around in circles.
"Oh shut up, you **************!" Merry yelled back as he tied a piece of cloth over Dom's mouth. "And stop that jerking or I'll deprive you of mushrooms for the rest of your life!"
Dominic began to cry. "Mwy mushwoooooooooms!" he cried threw the cloths. "I want mwy mushwoooooooooooooooms!!!"
Elijah and Sean Astin threw each other *strange* glances, but Frodo and Sam mistaken it for looks of fear and affection.
The flood that Elrond made grew and grew until the actors were crying for their parents and much, much more. Elrond looked quite smug.
"THIS ISN'T LEGAL!" Sean Bean cried. "THIS WASN'T STATED...IN MY CONTRACT!"
"Shut up, you piece of orc!" Boromir hit the Sean in the head with the handle of his sword and made the actor go unconscious. Every one was relieved as the actor was getting on their nerves (as if they all weren't).
"I VWANT MWY MWUSHWOOOOOOOOMS!!!" Dominic cried through the rag around his mouth. "I WANT MWY MWUSHWOOOOOOOOOMS!!!"
Merry and Pippin hit their heads with their hands. This Training camp was going to be harder than they thought. Elrond, on the other hand, looked very happy as he tried to teach Hugo how to make the river flood and zapped him every time he failed (which WAS everytime).
"Ok!" Elrond announced after an hour of fun. "Let the actors go!"
The actors all looked relieved-until they figured out what he meant. The fellowship untied the actors, put them in barrels, and threw them rocketing down the river.
"Aragorn? Are the nazgul's ready???" Elrond called over the river to the Gondor king. Aragorn nodded and made a signal. Within a milli-second, eight black-cloaked figures rushed after the actors (the ninth one couldn't be brought back to life due to the wounds brought on by Eowyn and Merry).
Legolas, meanwhile, having dragged Orlando away, started chatting with the actor, finding Orlando actually kind of nice.
"This is too weird," Orlando muttered.
Elrond saw Legolas run away with Orlando and chased him. After catching up with the two, Elrond tied Legolas to a tree and took away his bow and then threw Orlando in the river where the other actors were floating in barrels.
"SORRY, ORLANDO!" Elrond cried. "I GUESS YOUR GOING TO HAVE TO GO WITHOUT A BARREL!"
"Oh yeah?" Orlando yelled back. "It won't matter after I DROWN!"
Elrond sat in his chair and laid back and fell asleep. Boromir, concerned and wondering what was going to happen (hoping his victim drowned), walked over to Elrond. "Master Elrond," Boromir said respectfully, "shouldn't we be following the-um-students down the river?"
A scream was heard off in the distance (Dominic's *grin*), which was followed by nine more. Elrond looked happily at Boromir. "No," Elrond replied. "They'll be back. Either they'll run back or our special-volunteers will carry them back after scaring them to death..."
Faramir came running from his perch at the river. "MASTER ELROND! MASTER ELROND!" he cried, but mostly out of breath from the long run. "THE STUDENTS ARE ATTACKING THE NAZGULS WITH RINGING THINGS!!! The Nazguls were quite disturbed and they started to attack more...vicious! We're afraid they'll kill Dom. You must hurry and stop them!"
Elrond got up from his seat, quite annoyed, and chased Faramir down the river where the Nazguls were fighting the students with swords against cell phones. "Oh no," Elrond sighed. Then he spoke some quick words in elvish and the Nazguls fled. "This is bad...take them to their rooms. I shall tend to them."
Some of the Rivendell servants came and carried the students back to their rooms where Elrond healed them. It wasn't for another three days that the Training Camp resumed. And at this time, Eowyn was sent with the rest of the Gondor/Rohan actors to Mordor and Gimli and some other Dwarves were sent to the Mines of Moria.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Merry and Pippin snuck out in the middle of the night, waking up everyone that they passed with unsuppressive giggles. No one really cared until their were a few ear-splitting screams heard throughout Rivendell. Elrond jumped up and ran to the sounds.
"What in Mandos Halls is going on???" Elrond screamed loudly upon entering the council hall and viewing the two hobbits. At first, they appeared certainly the most innocent of angels, but Eru knows that innocent is not a word associated with halflings especially those of the names Took and Brandybuck. On their faces were the widest grins the elf lord has ever seen.
"What did you do this time?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer.
Merry and Pippin exchanged glances, and burst into another fit of laughter. Pointing at the closet nearby, they quickly ran from the elf lord's grasp and off into the safe distance.
Elrond slowly and cautiously approached the closet. With a steady hand, he opened the door and found something so frightening...