PART 3
ROBIN
I.
She stepped down the staircase, slowly and carefully so as not to step on
her dress. Robin waited downstairs. He was chatting with some other young
men. One had bright red hair, so Sam guessed that it was Charlie Weasley, who
was only a few years older than she and Robin. Robin had been the captain of
the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and knew Charlie quite well. Another young man
with long curly hair, which was hold together in his neck looked up to her,
hesitated, then smiled broadly. He nudged Robin, who turned around, smiled
and waved to Sam. Finally she arrived the foot of the stairs
"Good evening." She hugged Robin who whispered, "You look fantastic, my
dear."
"And me?" The man with the long hair laughed and outstretched his arms.
"Oh my God - Ethan!", cried Sam and flew in his arms. "How long has it
been since we've seen each other?"
Ethan Carter had been one Robin's best friends in Ravenclaw. Sam had been
a quite shy and introverte Gryffindor student. She never had many friends in
her childhood. Sam, Robin and Ethan knew each other from the Hogwarts Express
and some classes they'd had together. When Sam and Robin discovered that they
shared their passion and talent of drawing and painting they soon became
close friends. Robin was more extrovert and open to new friendships than Sam.
So more of her friends in Hogwarts belonged to Ravenclaw than to Gryffindor.
The Great Hall was decorated and full of people. The former students
were running around, searching for their old classmates and happily welcoming
those they found. Sam, Robin, Ethan and Charlie were welcomed loudly at the
table of their graduation's year. After a while Sam saw that Prof. McGonagall
stood up. She waved to her classmates and rushed to her seat at the teacher's
table. McGonagall hit her glass gently with her spoon, which was enough to
create silence in the room.
McGonagall began her speech. She spoke a few words about the past and
future of Hogwarts and congratulated the Headmaster in the name of teachers
and students.
Dumbledore rose. He looked around over the crowd of former and nowaday's
students and smiled. It seemed that his face turned slightly disappointed
when he discovered Snape's empty seat at the teacher's table.
"I never did like long speeches, so I'll just say: Thanks to you all!
Enjoy the evening and - let the feast begin!" Dumbledore sat down again.
Applause and cheers rose and faded.
The feast was a success. The castle's corridors echoed with the sound of
a thousand chatting voices. The former students talked to their old teachers.
The Quidditch Captains of Slytherin and Gryffindor had a hot argument with a
member of the National Quidditch Team. Parents of nowaday's students stood
together in groups and were watched suspiciously by their children.
When the band started to play, Robin made an artificial bow in front of
Sam. "May I ask for the next dance, Miss Escobar?"
Sam laughed. "How could I say no, Dr. Brush".
Snape appeared in the entrance of the hall. His eyes scanned the room.
Sam waved from the other side of the room. He greeted back with a short nod.
Then he fought his way through the masses of people towards the teacher's
table. Sinister looks of his former students met him.
Sam and Robin danced closely. Sam watched Robins face. She realized that
she had missed him during the week he had been away. It seemed that now he
read her thoughts as he kissed her and said softly, "Do you know how much I
missed you, Sam?"
Sam answered gently, "I missed you too." She looked into his eyes and
for a moment she was lost in thought.
"Hey. Sam. Everything's ok?" Robin's anxious voice brought her back to
reality.
"Oh. Sorry. Yes. Yes, of course", she said. ~ Everything is ok..again ~
she thought by herself. The decision must be made now.
Now or never.
The song ended. Sam pulled Robin from the dancing crowd.
"I have to go for a few minutes.. looking for a colleague.. he is ill.."
She hated to lie. ~ That's the last lie. For ever.~
"I will survive it somehow. Robin kissed her and in the next moment he
was occupied by Madam Pomfrey who wanted to know everything about his work in
the St. Mungo's Hospital.
Sam went to one table and filled a plate with roasted meat. Then she left
the room, heading towards Lupin's office. In the crowded room she did not
notice that somebody recognised her leaving.
A plate of meat? Snape lifted an eyebrow. He stood up again and rudely
pushed aside some people to follow Sam.
II.
"Alohomora." The door to Lupins office swung aside.
"Remus?"
Sam whispered in the dark room which was only lit by the moonlight. She
let her eyes adjust to the darkness and discovered something under the desk.
A wolf. She hesitated for a moment, but then she knelt down and pushed the
sleeping creature.
"Remus. REMUS."
Nothing. She stood up and pointed her wand towards the snoring wolf.
"Rictusempra!" The wolf wriggled on the floor and opened his eyes. Sam
let her emerald glow. She heard Remus laughing
~Hey, stop that, I am awake.~
~Good morning ~
Sam smiled and stroked the wolf. She searched for familiar signs and
discovered the grey tresses in his fur, and those eyes...
~ I brought you something from the party~
She put the plate on the stone floor. The wolf looked up to her.
~ Thanks. Er.. You..you..look beautiful, Sam. I wished we could dance
tonight..~
Sam swallowed and stood up. ~ I'd love to. ~ She hesitated and took a
deep breath. Now or never! ~ But - maybe that wouldn't be that good..~
The wolf lifted his head
~ What do you mean, Sam? ~
~ I have to tell you something ~
Sam pressed her hand over her mouth. She watched the light eyes in the
face of the wolf and felt terrible.
~ Not now, please!~ His voice was frightened.
~ Now or never, Remus! I hate this role playing. I can't stand it one
second more to lie. I have to make a decision ~
Sam's eyes filled slowly with tears.
~Please. Don't.. please ~ He didn't want to hear it.
~ I love you, Remus. ~ Her words sounded sweet and gentle but still tears
dropped from her face to the floor. ~ Please believe me. I do love you. ~
~ You love me but you love him... more? ~
~ Yes. ~ She wiped her eyes.
~ Why? How..~
~ Don't ask me. I don't know. If I only knew that this won't be the
mistake of my life. ~
Remus made a few steps backwards. ~ It is your decision. ~ He looked at
her and felt like his heart was torn apart in pieces. ~ But please- could
you leave me alone now.~ He settled his head on his front paws and a single
tear ran down the wolf's snout.
~ Of course.~ She left the room, closed the door and whispered under
tears, "I love you. I'll never forget you."
She leaned against the cool wall and cried. But suddenly she heard
something - hastily steps.
III.
Sam rushed through the empty corridors and dried her tears with her
sleeves. Finally she got into the Great Hall, pushed people aside and
searched for Robin. There he was..talking to... Sam's first impulse was to
run towards the two, but wouldn't that be a sign of her guilt? She tried to
calm down, breathing slowly and made her red eyes disappear with a short wave
of her wand. She stepped to Robin who just finished a sentence.
"..she would never do something like this."
"Good evening, Prof. Snape", she said with normal voice to the man that
stood beside her fiance. "What would who never do?"
"Nothing, Sam. I don't know why but Prof. Snape just stumbled in and told
me.. forget it Sam, he is only teasing me, if I only knew why." Robin's face
was red with anger.
"Ask her, Brush. Just ask her and you'll see.. You would never lie to
anybody, would you - Samantha?" Snape curled his lip.
~ I will never forgive that, Severus Snape. ~ Snape looked surprised
towards Sam but she was smiling at Robin and asked innocently, "What are you
talking about?"
~ Oh, you know. ~ Snapes voice in her head trembled with triumph.
~ I'll never forgive you ~ she repeated silently.
"Nothing, my dear. It seems as if Prof. Snape had too much jubileé wine",
answered Robin in the meantime. He put one arm around Sam's waist and wanted
to turn around.
"You said you love him. Lupin."
Just after a few seconds passed, Sam realized that Snape actually said
that loudly. Quite loudly. Some people turned their heads to them.
Snape didn't bother that.
Robin laughed. "Oh please, Sam, tell him. Tell him how ridiculous that
is. Sam?"
~ I hate you ~ Her voice echoed in Snape's mind. He swallowed. She took
Robin's arm. "Not here, let's go out. Please."
Robin looked puzzled and followed Sam as she left quickly the Great Hall
and headed to the garden without even looking at Snape. Snape watched them
until they disappeared in the crowd.
Outside Sam and Robin sat down on a stone bench.
"So it's true", he mumbled.
"What did he tell you?", she asked, clutching her hands.
"He told me that you're having an affair with one of your collegues. For
weeks."
She shook her head. "That's not true.. not for weeks. It just happened
the day be.."
Robin turned his face to her and she was shocked at the anger and pain
shown in his eyes. "For weeks, days, hours, I don't care! You said you love
him. Is that true?"
" I fell in love with him, that's true, but I love y.."
"That's all I wanted to know." He stood up.
"I love you Robin", she said fearfully.
Robin stopped and looked at her in silence for a while. Then he turned
around and disappeared in the darkness.
III.
Like in a trance, Sam had gone back to the Great Hall, across all the
partying people, into an empty corridor. She had walked and walked and did
not know to where or how long. All she could think about was ~ It's my
fault. I should have done something before. Now I have lost both of them. ~
She sunk down next to a door and wrapped her arms around her knees, and
buried her face in her arms. She felt empty and so sad that it physically
hurt her. After a while she began to cry heavily.
When she had no more tears to cry and her body shook in empty sobs, she
lifted her head and realized that she had found her way back to the door of
Lupin's office.
She stared in the darkness and did not know how much time passed.
~ Anyway. What do I have to lose? ~ She leaned her head against the dark,
cold stones.
~ Remus? ~
After a while came the answer:
~ Leave me alone. ~
She swallowed.
~ I have to talk to someone. Please. ~
~ Sam, I am always there for you. But not .. not now .. I need time. It
.. it just hurts too much ~
If she had some left over tears, she would have cried now for sure.
~ Please Remus.. there is no one I could talk to.. ~
Another moment of silence passed. Then:
~ Ok. Come in, for Merlin's sake. It can't get any worse, can it... ~
Sam entered the room. Her dress was crinkly and dusty, her face red and
swollen.
~ So what has happened?~
She could not see anything. Only the eyes of the wolf sparkled in the
moonlight. And her emerald ring glowed in bright green.
Again she sat down at the door and told him shortly what Snape had done.
When Sam had finished, Remus laughed bitterly in her mind.
~ What do you expect of me to say now? Well, Severus did me a kind of
favor. Er.. sorry, Sam. I don't have enough distance yet. I .. I love you and
..it's too fresh ~ He got on his feet and tapped the window. The moon shone
brightly and coldly.
~ So you think it can't get any worse ~ said Sam tired. ~ But you are
right, it was a mistake. It was a mistake to come here, it was a mistake that
I didn't made a decision earlier. Hell, I *had* to talk to someone... but I
shouldn't have bothered you. It was wrong - like so much went wong tonight~
Remus turned around and came back from the moonlit window. ~ Sam ~
His voice sounded softly. ~ If you only knew how much I love you. I am so
sorry. I .. made some mistakes, too. I should not have let my feelings take
control - it was wrong. Robin will come back. Give him time. Give us all
time. ~
Sam moved nearer to the wall. Her back hurt, her head hurt, everything
just hurt.
Remus watched her. She ran her finger through the dust on the floor and
shook her head sadly.
~ He won't come back, I know him. I messed everything up. For him, for
you.. ~ She looked into the soft moonlight and thought dreamily ~ I wish
I could be up there - far away from every problem, far away from Severus
Snape. ~
Remus gave a yelp. ~ If I could, I would take you in my arms, Sam. But
even if.. it would not be appropriate now, I think. Don't be so cruel to
yourself. And Snape - well, you can't change him. Nobody can. ~
Sam didn't answer. She pushed back her hair, left a duststreak on her
face and watched a cloud covering the moon. It slowly became darker in the
room. She heard Remus whimper. The whimper turned into a gasp. A human gasp.
Remus hated clouds at full moon.
Sam now realized what had happened. She didn't know what to do so she
just stayed where she was. ~ At least we can't see each other ~ she
thought wearily and stared into the black darkness.
Lupin quickly grabbed his robe.
Then he came nearer. He felt the urge to come even closer but he resisted
sadly. "Do you think that would change anything?"
"Of course", she said weakly into the dark room. "Why do you think I
chose this day to decide? It would have broke my heart if you would have been
yourself.."
Remus laughed again bitterly. "I was myself." He couldn't stand it
anymore and finally came closer. Lupin took her hand and laid it upon the
left side of his chest, over his heart. "Here..", he drew Sam's palm to his
forehead, "and here."
She bit her lower lip and wanted to pull back her hand, but she somehow
could not manage to do it.
"I know", she said hoarsely. "I was a coward."
"I am one myself", he answered slowly. "I don't want you to get into
another inner conflict." Remus let her hand go.
"Too late. Much too late." Again she rested her head on her arms.
"I am sorry. I didn't mean to.."
"It's not your fault", she interrupted hotly. "It's me.. I was too
stupid.. to realize.. and now it's too late.." She stopped and turned her
head away.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
Silence.
"What do you mean? Do you.. oh no, don't say it. Don't say it again if
you don't mean it, I would not survive that", he bursted out pleadingly.
Sam's hand touched his shoulder. She pulled him towards her and it seemed
that her lacrymal grands had recovered as he felt hot tears dropping on his
neck. "It's ok", he whispered, and took her in her arms. Tears were running
down his face, too.
"Promise that you'll never let me go again", she sobbed.
"I won't. I swear. I'll never let you go." Remus held her face with both
arms and kissed her gently.
"And I'll never be so stupid again. So blind." They sat awhile in
silence, holding each other. Sam looked over his shoulder to the window. The
sky became more and more cloudy. Finally it began to rain. From far away she
could hear the music from the feast.
"The moon won't come back tonight?" she asked.
Remus kissed her neck. "Well, I hope so. Would be better for him.Do you
hear the music, too?"
She nodded. Suddenly she remembered something and stood up. "Lumos" In
the light of her wand he looked up to her, wondering.
"What's up?"
"Well, didn't I promise you a dance?" She outstretched a hand. He got up
and looked at her, in her now very shabby and dirty dress, her hair tangled
and her eyes still red from crying.
Remus smiled "You are so beautiful", he whispered and made a step
forward.
"Sonora."
The music got louder and they danced closely, listening to the rain and
hoping that the moon would leave this night to them.
The End
ROBIN
I.
She stepped down the staircase, slowly and carefully so as not to step on
her dress. Robin waited downstairs. He was chatting with some other young
men. One had bright red hair, so Sam guessed that it was Charlie Weasley, who
was only a few years older than she and Robin. Robin had been the captain of
the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and knew Charlie quite well. Another young man
with long curly hair, which was hold together in his neck looked up to her,
hesitated, then smiled broadly. He nudged Robin, who turned around, smiled
and waved to Sam. Finally she arrived the foot of the stairs
"Good evening." She hugged Robin who whispered, "You look fantastic, my
dear."
"And me?" The man with the long hair laughed and outstretched his arms.
"Oh my God - Ethan!", cried Sam and flew in his arms. "How long has it
been since we've seen each other?"
Ethan Carter had been one Robin's best friends in Ravenclaw. Sam had been
a quite shy and introverte Gryffindor student. She never had many friends in
her childhood. Sam, Robin and Ethan knew each other from the Hogwarts Express
and some classes they'd had together. When Sam and Robin discovered that they
shared their passion and talent of drawing and painting they soon became
close friends. Robin was more extrovert and open to new friendships than Sam.
So more of her friends in Hogwarts belonged to Ravenclaw than to Gryffindor.
The Great Hall was decorated and full of people. The former students
were running around, searching for their old classmates and happily welcoming
those they found. Sam, Robin, Ethan and Charlie were welcomed loudly at the
table of their graduation's year. After a while Sam saw that Prof. McGonagall
stood up. She waved to her classmates and rushed to her seat at the teacher's
table. McGonagall hit her glass gently with her spoon, which was enough to
create silence in the room.
McGonagall began her speech. She spoke a few words about the past and
future of Hogwarts and congratulated the Headmaster in the name of teachers
and students.
Dumbledore rose. He looked around over the crowd of former and nowaday's
students and smiled. It seemed that his face turned slightly disappointed
when he discovered Snape's empty seat at the teacher's table.
"I never did like long speeches, so I'll just say: Thanks to you all!
Enjoy the evening and - let the feast begin!" Dumbledore sat down again.
Applause and cheers rose and faded.
The feast was a success. The castle's corridors echoed with the sound of
a thousand chatting voices. The former students talked to their old teachers.
The Quidditch Captains of Slytherin and Gryffindor had a hot argument with a
member of the National Quidditch Team. Parents of nowaday's students stood
together in groups and were watched suspiciously by their children.
When the band started to play, Robin made an artificial bow in front of
Sam. "May I ask for the next dance, Miss Escobar?"
Sam laughed. "How could I say no, Dr. Brush".
Snape appeared in the entrance of the hall. His eyes scanned the room.
Sam waved from the other side of the room. He greeted back with a short nod.
Then he fought his way through the masses of people towards the teacher's
table. Sinister looks of his former students met him.
Sam and Robin danced closely. Sam watched Robins face. She realized that
she had missed him during the week he had been away. It seemed that now he
read her thoughts as he kissed her and said softly, "Do you know how much I
missed you, Sam?"
Sam answered gently, "I missed you too." She looked into his eyes and
for a moment she was lost in thought.
"Hey. Sam. Everything's ok?" Robin's anxious voice brought her back to
reality.
"Oh. Sorry. Yes. Yes, of course", she said. ~ Everything is ok..again ~
she thought by herself. The decision must be made now.
Now or never.
The song ended. Sam pulled Robin from the dancing crowd.
"I have to go for a few minutes.. looking for a colleague.. he is ill.."
She hated to lie. ~ That's the last lie. For ever.~
"I will survive it somehow. Robin kissed her and in the next moment he
was occupied by Madam Pomfrey who wanted to know everything about his work in
the St. Mungo's Hospital.
Sam went to one table and filled a plate with roasted meat. Then she left
the room, heading towards Lupin's office. In the crowded room she did not
notice that somebody recognised her leaving.
A plate of meat? Snape lifted an eyebrow. He stood up again and rudely
pushed aside some people to follow Sam.
II.
"Alohomora." The door to Lupins office swung aside.
"Remus?"
Sam whispered in the dark room which was only lit by the moonlight. She
let her eyes adjust to the darkness and discovered something under the desk.
A wolf. She hesitated for a moment, but then she knelt down and pushed the
sleeping creature.
"Remus. REMUS."
Nothing. She stood up and pointed her wand towards the snoring wolf.
"Rictusempra!" The wolf wriggled on the floor and opened his eyes. Sam
let her emerald glow. She heard Remus laughing
~Hey, stop that, I am awake.~
~Good morning ~
Sam smiled and stroked the wolf. She searched for familiar signs and
discovered the grey tresses in his fur, and those eyes...
~ I brought you something from the party~
She put the plate on the stone floor. The wolf looked up to her.
~ Thanks. Er.. You..you..look beautiful, Sam. I wished we could dance
tonight..~
Sam swallowed and stood up. ~ I'd love to. ~ She hesitated and took a
deep breath. Now or never! ~ But - maybe that wouldn't be that good..~
The wolf lifted his head
~ What do you mean, Sam? ~
~ I have to tell you something ~
Sam pressed her hand over her mouth. She watched the light eyes in the
face of the wolf and felt terrible.
~ Not now, please!~ His voice was frightened.
~ Now or never, Remus! I hate this role playing. I can't stand it one
second more to lie. I have to make a decision ~
Sam's eyes filled slowly with tears.
~Please. Don't.. please ~ He didn't want to hear it.
~ I love you, Remus. ~ Her words sounded sweet and gentle but still tears
dropped from her face to the floor. ~ Please believe me. I do love you. ~
~ You love me but you love him... more? ~
~ Yes. ~ She wiped her eyes.
~ Why? How..~
~ Don't ask me. I don't know. If I only knew that this won't be the
mistake of my life. ~
Remus made a few steps backwards. ~ It is your decision. ~ He looked at
her and felt like his heart was torn apart in pieces. ~ But please- could
you leave me alone now.~ He settled his head on his front paws and a single
tear ran down the wolf's snout.
~ Of course.~ She left the room, closed the door and whispered under
tears, "I love you. I'll never forget you."
She leaned against the cool wall and cried. But suddenly she heard
something - hastily steps.
III.
Sam rushed through the empty corridors and dried her tears with her
sleeves. Finally she got into the Great Hall, pushed people aside and
searched for Robin. There he was..talking to... Sam's first impulse was to
run towards the two, but wouldn't that be a sign of her guilt? She tried to
calm down, breathing slowly and made her red eyes disappear with a short wave
of her wand. She stepped to Robin who just finished a sentence.
"..she would never do something like this."
"Good evening, Prof. Snape", she said with normal voice to the man that
stood beside her fiance. "What would who never do?"
"Nothing, Sam. I don't know why but Prof. Snape just stumbled in and told
me.. forget it Sam, he is only teasing me, if I only knew why." Robin's face
was red with anger.
"Ask her, Brush. Just ask her and you'll see.. You would never lie to
anybody, would you - Samantha?" Snape curled his lip.
~ I will never forgive that, Severus Snape. ~ Snape looked surprised
towards Sam but she was smiling at Robin and asked innocently, "What are you
talking about?"
~ Oh, you know. ~ Snapes voice in her head trembled with triumph.
~ I'll never forgive you ~ she repeated silently.
"Nothing, my dear. It seems as if Prof. Snape had too much jubileé wine",
answered Robin in the meantime. He put one arm around Sam's waist and wanted
to turn around.
"You said you love him. Lupin."
Just after a few seconds passed, Sam realized that Snape actually said
that loudly. Quite loudly. Some people turned their heads to them.
Snape didn't bother that.
Robin laughed. "Oh please, Sam, tell him. Tell him how ridiculous that
is. Sam?"
~ I hate you ~ Her voice echoed in Snape's mind. He swallowed. She took
Robin's arm. "Not here, let's go out. Please."
Robin looked puzzled and followed Sam as she left quickly the Great Hall
and headed to the garden without even looking at Snape. Snape watched them
until they disappeared in the crowd.
Outside Sam and Robin sat down on a stone bench.
"So it's true", he mumbled.
"What did he tell you?", she asked, clutching her hands.
"He told me that you're having an affair with one of your collegues. For
weeks."
She shook her head. "That's not true.. not for weeks. It just happened
the day be.."
Robin turned his face to her and she was shocked at the anger and pain
shown in his eyes. "For weeks, days, hours, I don't care! You said you love
him. Is that true?"
" I fell in love with him, that's true, but I love y.."
"That's all I wanted to know." He stood up.
"I love you Robin", she said fearfully.
Robin stopped and looked at her in silence for a while. Then he turned
around and disappeared in the darkness.
III.
Like in a trance, Sam had gone back to the Great Hall, across all the
partying people, into an empty corridor. She had walked and walked and did
not know to where or how long. All she could think about was ~ It's my
fault. I should have done something before. Now I have lost both of them. ~
She sunk down next to a door and wrapped her arms around her knees, and
buried her face in her arms. She felt empty and so sad that it physically
hurt her. After a while she began to cry heavily.
When she had no more tears to cry and her body shook in empty sobs, she
lifted her head and realized that she had found her way back to the door of
Lupin's office.
She stared in the darkness and did not know how much time passed.
~ Anyway. What do I have to lose? ~ She leaned her head against the dark,
cold stones.
~ Remus? ~
After a while came the answer:
~ Leave me alone. ~
She swallowed.
~ I have to talk to someone. Please. ~
~ Sam, I am always there for you. But not .. not now .. I need time. It
.. it just hurts too much ~
If she had some left over tears, she would have cried now for sure.
~ Please Remus.. there is no one I could talk to.. ~
Another moment of silence passed. Then:
~ Ok. Come in, for Merlin's sake. It can't get any worse, can it... ~
Sam entered the room. Her dress was crinkly and dusty, her face red and
swollen.
~ So what has happened?~
She could not see anything. Only the eyes of the wolf sparkled in the
moonlight. And her emerald ring glowed in bright green.
Again she sat down at the door and told him shortly what Snape had done.
When Sam had finished, Remus laughed bitterly in her mind.
~ What do you expect of me to say now? Well, Severus did me a kind of
favor. Er.. sorry, Sam. I don't have enough distance yet. I .. I love you and
..it's too fresh ~ He got on his feet and tapped the window. The moon shone
brightly and coldly.
~ So you think it can't get any worse ~ said Sam tired. ~ But you are
right, it was a mistake. It was a mistake to come here, it was a mistake that
I didn't made a decision earlier. Hell, I *had* to talk to someone... but I
shouldn't have bothered you. It was wrong - like so much went wong tonight~
Remus turned around and came back from the moonlit window. ~ Sam ~
His voice sounded softly. ~ If you only knew how much I love you. I am so
sorry. I .. made some mistakes, too. I should not have let my feelings take
control - it was wrong. Robin will come back. Give him time. Give us all
time. ~
Sam moved nearer to the wall. Her back hurt, her head hurt, everything
just hurt.
Remus watched her. She ran her finger through the dust on the floor and
shook her head sadly.
~ He won't come back, I know him. I messed everything up. For him, for
you.. ~ She looked into the soft moonlight and thought dreamily ~ I wish
I could be up there - far away from every problem, far away from Severus
Snape. ~
Remus gave a yelp. ~ If I could, I would take you in my arms, Sam. But
even if.. it would not be appropriate now, I think. Don't be so cruel to
yourself. And Snape - well, you can't change him. Nobody can. ~
Sam didn't answer. She pushed back her hair, left a duststreak on her
face and watched a cloud covering the moon. It slowly became darker in the
room. She heard Remus whimper. The whimper turned into a gasp. A human gasp.
Remus hated clouds at full moon.
Sam now realized what had happened. She didn't know what to do so she
just stayed where she was. ~ At least we can't see each other ~ she
thought wearily and stared into the black darkness.
Lupin quickly grabbed his robe.
Then he came nearer. He felt the urge to come even closer but he resisted
sadly. "Do you think that would change anything?"
"Of course", she said weakly into the dark room. "Why do you think I
chose this day to decide? It would have broke my heart if you would have been
yourself.."
Remus laughed again bitterly. "I was myself." He couldn't stand it
anymore and finally came closer. Lupin took her hand and laid it upon the
left side of his chest, over his heart. "Here..", he drew Sam's palm to his
forehead, "and here."
She bit her lower lip and wanted to pull back her hand, but she somehow
could not manage to do it.
"I know", she said hoarsely. "I was a coward."
"I am one myself", he answered slowly. "I don't want you to get into
another inner conflict." Remus let her hand go.
"Too late. Much too late." Again she rested her head on her arms.
"I am sorry. I didn't mean to.."
"It's not your fault", she interrupted hotly. "It's me.. I was too
stupid.. to realize.. and now it's too late.." She stopped and turned her
head away.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
Silence.
"What do you mean? Do you.. oh no, don't say it. Don't say it again if
you don't mean it, I would not survive that", he bursted out pleadingly.
Sam's hand touched his shoulder. She pulled him towards her and it seemed
that her lacrymal grands had recovered as he felt hot tears dropping on his
neck. "It's ok", he whispered, and took her in her arms. Tears were running
down his face, too.
"Promise that you'll never let me go again", she sobbed.
"I won't. I swear. I'll never let you go." Remus held her face with both
arms and kissed her gently.
"And I'll never be so stupid again. So blind." They sat awhile in
silence, holding each other. Sam looked over his shoulder to the window. The
sky became more and more cloudy. Finally it began to rain. From far away she
could hear the music from the feast.
"The moon won't come back tonight?" she asked.
Remus kissed her neck. "Well, I hope so. Would be better for him.Do you
hear the music, too?"
She nodded. Suddenly she remembered something and stood up. "Lumos" In
the light of her wand he looked up to her, wondering.
"What's up?"
"Well, didn't I promise you a dance?" She outstretched a hand. He got up
and looked at her, in her now very shabby and dirty dress, her hair tangled
and her eyes still red from crying.
Remus smiled "You are so beautiful", he whispered and made a step
forward.
"Sonora."
The music got louder and they danced closely, listening to the rain and
hoping that the moon would leave this night to them.
The End