LOTR Model behaviour part 2 - Rivendell

The model behaviour crew are in the elven city of Rivendell. There are five contestants here hoping to get to the next round. Our judges are inside a very nice building, and they have peach iced tea for refreshments.

"Why do we have to have iced tea, it's so, gay" Saruman whined.

"Iced tea is not gay, elves drink it all the time" Galadriel said.

"As I said, iced tea is gay" Saruman continued to whine.

"It is not, and anyway here's the first twit who wants to audition." Galadriel stated, finishing the argument. Arwen entered the room.

"Name" Bilbo said.

"Arwen Undomiel"

"Wait there" Saruman said. All the judges huddled together for a talk. "She's pretty, very pretty is she."

"Getting married to Aragorn, remember him?" Bilbo asked.

"Big muscly fellow with nice manly stubble" Galadriel said kind of in a trance.

Bilbo said to Saruman "Should we remind her she's married?"

"No, she'll go all weird"

"Good point, what about this Arwen then?" Bilbo asked.

"She's kind of royalty, so we better bring her through" Saruman said staring at Arwen.

"She's not going to shag you, you do realise that, don't you" Bilbo said

"Of course I do" he said "your through to the next round" Saruman shouted to Arwen.

"Yes, thank you so much" Arwen said in her stupid way and then she left the room.

"Next!" Bilbo shouted, " I've always wanted to say that!"

Elrond walked in the door. " Hello, I do trust that everything is all right?"

"The iced tea is." Saruman started

".Lovely" Galadriel said, before Saruman could finish what he was going to say.

"Are you here to audition?" Bilbo asked.

"Or torment us" Saruman said under his breath.

"I wasn't actually but, as I'm here, I might as well" Elrond said with a chuckle.

"You were so here to audition." Saruman said. All Elrond did was glare at him.

"Yes, you're through" Galadriel said.

"Thank you" Elrond bowed and then left. The two guys just stared at Galadriel.

"Biased. You are so biased" Saruman said. "Just because your family."

"You are supposed to discuss with us," Bilbo said.

"Anyway who cares, NEXT" Galadriel stated. Two elves walked in leading Bill the pony. The two elves lead Bill into the middle of the room then left.

"What the ." Saruman said being cut off again by Galadriel.

"Hobbit" Galadriel said very quickly.

"Hey! What's wrong with hobbits?" Bilbo asked.

"Should have said dwarf, should have said dwarf" Galadriel said under her breath. "Nothing, nothing at all"

"The.err.contestant is waiting" Saruman said pointing at Bill.

"Yes of course. We must be professional." Galadriel said.

"Yes, well he has nice high cheekbones, that's always good" Bilbo said enthusiastically.

"And a nice pair of eyes." Galadriel said.

"It's a horse, for orcs sake!" Saruman said.

"We did say any species could try out" Galadriel said, pointing out the rules.

"But somebody's taking the mick." Saruman said.

"Okay, maybe they are and I don't want a horse on my front cover." Bilbo said.

"Fine then, your not through, sorry" Galadriel said. Bill seemed to understand and left the room.

"Finally you see sense," Saruman said.

"Is sense next, are they pretty?" Bilbo asked cheerfully.

"Never mind, NEXT!" Saruman shouted. The door opened and a figure in black came in.

"Name, please" Galadriel asked.

"He doesn't speak" Saruman said. " Ringwraiths aren't very good company."

"Well, that's no good." Bilbo said "Sorry you're not through, although I could use you in a one off shoot next week; ' Black is the new black' catchy isn't it?"

Saruman gave Bilbo a very weird look as the black rider, ringwraith, whatever you want to call him, nodded and left the room.

"Next, please" Galadriel said.

Bilbo stuck out his tongue at Saruman just as Gandalf walked through the door. "Gandalf old chum, why are you here? I didn't think modelling would be your thing" Bilbo said happily.

"I fancied ." Gandalf started.

".A quickie in the bushes with a couple of elves!" Saruman said, with an almost innocent look on his face.

"No. I was going to say a change of scenery." Gandalf said, glaring daggers at Saruman.

"Well of course you are through," Bilbo said. " Anything for an old friend."

"Why, that is nice of you, I will see you later" Gandalf said and walked out of the door.

"And you told ME off for being biased!" Galadriel said, while tutting at Bilbo.

The end of the auditions at Rivendell

A/n please review and its gondor auditions next