Part Five
It took the entire day to convince Xander that allowing Spike to recuperate at the Summers' home was the only logical choice to make since he had saved her life and part of the evening to wheedle him into providing the transportation. Getting Spike in the car was an ordeal to say the least, he was a lot heavier than he looked and Xander had drawn the line at actual physical contact. Tara had come along just to ensure that the spell didn't go all wacky when they moved, so Buffy was alone in her struggle to get Spike into the back seat of the car.
After Spike was settled in on Revello Drive Buffy had returned to the crypt in order to collect some clothing for Spike having forgotten to do it when they were there earlier. It felt strange pawing through Spike's things. It felt…domestic and that worked her already frayed nerves so she moved quickly and all but ran back to the house.
"Um, Spike." Buffy was standing in her bedroom looking down at Spike unable to get the words out.
"Yeah?" Spike looked at her expectantly but she just stood there blushing. "Well spit it out, luv."
"You…er…well…I," She was gesturing to the duffel bag she had brought back with her from the crypt, "there…I couldn't find any…you know."
Spike was confused and a little irritated. What was she going on about? "Any what? I think you've lost me on this one, pet."
"Underwear." She hadn't thought that her cheeks could get any redder. Why was she so embarrassed anyway? It's not like talking about underwear should be such a big deal after what they had done together. Hearing Spike's chuckle didn't seem to be helping matters either.
"Well don't tell me that you never noticed I don't wear 'em." His patented smirk was back in place.
Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. "I didn't know if you never did. I just…oh, forget it!" Buffy stomped out of the room.
Feeling a faint rumbling in the vicinity of her stomach, Buffy made a beeline for the kitchen. After downing a ham and cheese sandwich with a Pepsi it occurred to her that Spike was probably hungry so she took out a bag of blood from the refrigerator and heated it up in the microwave. That she could do this without being completely grossed out was proof at how far she had sunk.
Buffy entered the room with the cup of warm blood in her hands and silently offered it to him, hoping that their earlier exchange had been forgotten. Barely glancing up from Dawn's small tv that Buffy had placed in the room before Spike's arrival, he accepted the offering with a grunting noise that could have been a thank you but she wasn't certain.
"Okay then, I'm going to patrol. So if you need anything let me know now or you'll have to wait until I get back." Yup, this was definitely a huge mistake. Seeing him sprawled across her bed was doing funny things to her breathing.
Buffy's pronouncement seemed to catch his attention and he flipped the tv off and looked directly at her. "Slayer, watch yourself. That demon is still out there and he has another shiny dagger with your name on it." The look he gave her was filled with concern and for some reason it was turning her on. Crap.
"I'll be fine. This is my thing. Slaying." She was putting on her resolved face the one that hopefully conveyed the message to Spike to butt out.
Spike sighed, an interesting feat for one with no breath, and changed the subject. "What about Red? Is she gonna come barreling in armed with a magic wand to shove up my ass?"
It took a serious effort not to laugh at that mental image, "I talked to Willow earlier and told her what was what and she didn't seem to care. She's at the library studying for an exam." Buffy turned to leave and Spike let her go telling himself that she could handle whatever trouble came her way. It was one of the reasons he loved her.
The bedside clock showed two in the morning when the Slayer finally came home. She had been gone for over six hours and he was beginning to worry. Buffy state of mind was still so unpredictable and any hesitation could see her killed and he wasn't entirely convinced she didn't still want that very thing to happen.
Spike listened to her roam around downstairs for a few minutes before moving up the stairs. Will she come to him tonight? Could his injury take it if she did? Spike knew that he didn't really care about the pain, he could endure hell itself if it meant that he could touch her. His body tensed as he heard her footsteps pause outside the door. Then he heard them move past and his shoulders slumped in defeat. Fuck. Hurt radiated from his motionless form. Fate was a cruel, sadistic bitch to put him so close to the person he longed for only to keep him so far away from her. Sometimes he had her body but he never even came close to her heart. In that moment Spike felt as if he truly was the very thing she had once accused him of being. Nothing.
Buffy stood in front of his door, no her door, and fought the impulse to enter. The need to be with him was absolute and had she been anyone else, there would have been no hesitation. With superhuman will she walked away from the door, from Spike.
After a quick shower Buffy slipped into a tiny tee and a pair of satin panties. This was the most clothing she had slept in for as long as she could remember but she felt oogie sleeping naked in Dawn's bed, thus the jammies.
For the next hour she tossed and turned not able to sleep. The usual worry and sadness blah, blah, blah. Remembering how well she had slept at Spike's, Buffy contemplated going to her room and crawling into bed with him. Just so that she could get some sleep.
Sure, whatever.
Spike loved her and even thought she would never love him back, she needed him and his love. It was a matter of survival at this point and Buffy was grasping at anything that might offer her a lifeline. Before she could talk herself out of it Buffy was standing in front of the door leading to Spike. Without a thought for the consequences Buffy pushed open the door and stood in the doorway looking at him.
To see her standing before him was like peeking into heaven. She was a goddess of all that was radiant and light and she was offering herself to her loyal supplicant. It was a special kind of torment but he would take whatever she could offer of herself and lock the memories away to take out and relive when the day came that she would leave him. Spike held out his hand to her.
Buffy was incapable of movement. Spike was lying on her bed all rumpled and sleepy, covered to the waist with her white cotton sheet. Heat gathered between her thighs and she became afraid. The desire she felt for him was overwhelming and frightening and every time they came together it grew hotter and more intense then the time before. When he reached out his hand, tears rose behind her eyes at the look of tenderness and love on his face.
Slowly as if in a fog she closed the door with a barely audible click and walked towards his outstretched hand not taking her eyes off it. When their fingers collided Buffy felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her and began to tremble.
"Spike, I-"
"Shhhh. I know." And he did know. Her need for him burned almost as hot as his for her. Words weren't necessary, she couldn't give him the ones that he wanted and he was sick of hearing himself say it over and over.
Buffy gently lowered herself to straddle his hips, careful not to inflict more discomfort by jostling his wound and leaned in to engage his lips. It was a kiss of desperate sadness and Buffy felt as if her heart would break from the impossibility of it all. Theirs was an unnatural union and there was no chance for a happy ending. Unable to maintain coherent thoughts with Spike's demanding mouth against hers Buffy let herself be submerged in the sensation of his mouth moving over hers.
Thrusting tongues met and danced and strong hands roamed over supple bodies, each one rediscovering the other as if it was the first time. Spike slipped her t-shirt over her head and together they struggled to divest her of her panties. Looking deeply into his startling blue eyes, Buffy grasped his hard length in her small hand and heard his demon growl in pleasure. Unable to wait any longer she guided him to her aching center and eased down enveloping him completely. Trapped by his eyes she couldn't look away from him and neither one moved as they became acutely aware of their physical connection. Finally Buffy began a steady rhythm first slow then faster as she sought release.
As the pressure built, the couple increased their tempo and Spike moved his hand from its position on her hip to the place were their bodies joined stroking her in time to their motions. The pleasure that he felt threatened to overwhelm him and despite the pain he urged her on faster. Without a thought to the other occupant of the house the couple, lost in each other, cried out as they reached their pinnacle and as they fell into the abyss Buffy screamed out her pleasure.
Down the hall Willow was startled awake by what she thought was a scream. She froze and strained to hear it again but it didn't happen again. After a few minutes she relaxed thinking that maybe it had been a dream. Definitely just a dream. She sank back into the bed and fell back to sleep.
After Buffy was able to regain control of her breathing and after another long, drugging kiss she gently slid down to Spike's good side. Good side. Yeah right. Resting her head on his chest she promptly fell asleep. Spike could sense the sun beginning its ascent in the heavens and knew he should sleep but for the moment he only wanted to absorb the feel of her in his arms. What they shared was so chaotic and violent at times that he had no way of knowing when it would end and he was reluctant to waste any of the time they did have with sleep. Unable to ignore the burning pain in his side any longer he felt himself being pulled out of consciousness and his last thought before the darkness claimed him was of the fire spreading rapidly through his body bringing intense agony in its wake.
Buffy's eyes flew open and she came instantly awake. Something was wrong. She lifted her head from Spike's chest and quickly looked around the room. Nothing. What had woken her up? Then she noticed it. Heat. Intense heat coming from Spike. Buffy looked down and gasped. From beneath the small bandage the slithering tentacles of poison had revived themselves and had spread until they covered his chest, neck and face. Yanking down the sheet, Buffy saw that the bottom half of his body fared no better.
Jumping from the bed she quickly pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a tank top and ran towards Willow's room. The door was closed and Buffy ran in without knocking.
"Willow, hurry I need your help!"
Willow was instantly alert, "What is it, what's happened? Are you okay?"
"The spell was broken or something. The poison is active again and Spike is dying." Fear had crept into her voice. Dawn would never forgive her if Spike died. "I need you to start gathering towels to soak in cold water. Ice. We need ice. Spike's burning up and we need to cool him down. I'm going to call Tara."
Before Buffy was finished Willow was already out of bed heading towards the linen closet for towels and blankets, which she took to the bathroom. Buffy heard the water running as she called Tara who agreed to come without hesitation. Buffy hung up the phone and ran back to Spike joining Willow who had rushed in moments before.
The two hurriedly worked to cover Spike with the icy cold towels and blankets hardly noticing their hands turning blue from handling them. Once he was covered they sat on the floor and waited for Tara. "Spike! Wake up!" Buffy was yelling at him hoping for some indication that he wasn't gone yet. Nothing, no sign of life from the vampire the only indication that it wasn't too late was the fact that he was still in one piece.
"Buffy, if he is still feverish than he has a chance." Willow was also concerned but puzzled at the stark fear she saw in Buffy's eyes.
"Right, a chance to turn to dust!" Seeing Willow cringe, Buffy instantly regretted snapping at her friend. "I'm sorry, Will. I'm just not in the mood for any more death and destruction around here." Buffy propped her elbows on her knees and cradled her head in her hands fighting back the tears.
Willow didn't know what to say so she said nothing only looked down at her hands that had gone numb from the cold. Willow heard the front door opening and tried to push back the anxiety at seeing Tara again. "Buffy? Tara's here. I'll go fill her in and bring her up." Buffy nodded but her eyes remained downcast.
In the five minutes it took for Tara and Willow to make their way back to the room, Buffy had lost her battle with fear certain that this time she would lose him. The small hope she had harbored died a brilliant death in the wake of this new disaster. One that she herself had caused.
Tara rushed to Spike's side and picked up the crystal that had gone from a vibrant red pulse to a dull pink literally overnight. Tara looked confused, "I don't understand. The spell should have lasted at least a couple more days."
The guilt was choking her and Buffy wanted to run. Fast and hard and she wasn't sure that she ever wanted to come back to this place. Eventually they died or left her and it was always her fault. Somehow it had to be her fault because there was no other explanation to be had. Buffy felt Tara's gaze settle on her and she reluctantly lifted her head to acknowledge the witch. Buffy felt her face burn wondering if somehow Tara knew of her shame.
Steeling herself for the worst Buffy asked, "So, how long are we talkin' here? A few hours, minutes maybe, what?"
"I-I don't know. I have never dealt with this before. I'm sorry Buffy." Tara rushed out of the room leaving Buffy alone with the dying demon.
Lifting herself from the floor, Buffy slowly walked over to the bed and felt the ever-present anger washing over her in waves and as always she lashed out at him as she always did. "Spike, you stupid son of a bitch. Wake up NOW!" No response. "If you let this kill you I will definitely never love you! EVER!" Refusing to cry, she grabbed her jacket and raced out of the room unable to watch him die.
"Willow! Where are you?"
"Down here Buffy. Is he-?" Willow couldn't find the right words to complete her question.
"Will, I'm leaving. I have to find that fucking demon so that we can fix Spike. I will not give Dawn another reason to hate us." It was all for Dawn. Only Dawn, right? "Watch over him until I get back and if he goes dusty, don't touch anything. I'll take care of it when I get back." Determined to find a solution Buffy headed to the front door.
Tara ran towards her, "Buffy, wait. What are you going to do?"
"I don't know."
"I'm going with you. I borrowed my dorm mates car so I'll drive us to the Magic Box. We'll find a way, Buffy." Tara looked determined.
Buffy was surprised at the girl. Tara's position within the group was usually in a support capacity and here she was offering to put herself in the middle of a potentially dangerous situation. Buffy's estimation of the blond rose considerably. "Tara, I don't blame you. You don't have to do this."
"That's not it, Buffy. I just want to help. I l-like him and I'm going." Tara, stubborn. Whoda thunkit.
"Let's go then."
Luckily the magic shop was empty of customers when they arrived and Anya was actually willing to help them and to her credit she didn't bat an eye when told the goal was once again to help a member of the ungrateful dead. They gathered around the table with the usual books and tried to find a way to call the demon back to this dimension and so far they were coming up empty.
After two hours of searching and three phone calls to Willow checking on Spike, the girls had come up empty handed. Buffy was about to go the training room and terrorize the punching bag when Tara spoke up.
"I h-hate to ask again but could you explain why we want the demon to make another attempt at you?" Buffy looked at the witch as if she had sprouted a second head. Had Tara suddenly developed amnesia?
"Becaaaause, we need to get the cure from around his fat neck." Buffy cringed to hear the sarcasm in her voice. Tara was only trying to help after all.
Tara blushed. "W-what I mean is why are we trying to get the demon to come to us when all we need is the bottle around his neck?"
Anya piped up, "Why do we always assume that the demons are hims? A lot of demons are female you know."
Tara and Buffy looked at the ex-demoness for a moment before turning their attention back to the matter at hand. "Tara, I'm not exactly following you on this." A confused Buffy was an irritated Buffy.
"Well it might be possible to a spell calling for the object we desire without dealing with the demon. It is a small thing so I think that I could do it."
"Don't you need something physical to bind the spell to that particular object?" Anya was puzzling the solution.
"Oh. We don't have anything from the demon. The dagger went back into the pretty lights with him…er…her…whatever. All he left behind was one severely poisoned vampire." Buffy felt their chance die on the vine. Suddenly a thought occurred to her.
"Wait a minute. If the poison is made from the ashes of a serpent native to the demon's dimension and the antidote is made from a mixture of the actual poison couldn't we consider that a physical connection with the poison?"
"Probably." Anya was beginning to see where Buffy was headed, "So if you could collect the poison from Spike's blood you could use that to work the calling spell." She smiled real big at her deduction.
"It c-could work, Buffy." Tara began to smile and Buffy began to hope again.
Buffy was kneeling beside Spike holding Tara's ceremonial athame attempting to draw blood from him while Tara remained downstairs clearing the living room in order to perform the location spell that would hopefully bring about Spike's reprieve from complete deadness. For some reason Buffy was hesitating over her particular assignment. After all he had been through so far it seemed wrong to inflict more damage. Glancing at his face, almost completely blackened by the poison, Buffy found her resolved and quickly slashed the vein in his wrist, watching the blood drain into the bowl she had placed underneath his hand.
"Sorry Spike," Buffy whispered to the still unconscious Spike.
The cut she made wasn't deep enough to cause him to bleed out but still there seemed to be an awful lot of the tainted fluid filling the bowl and Buffy felt her stomach flip. She waited for a long moment before applying pressure to the wound and wrapped it in gauze.
"Buffy!" Tara was calling her from downstairs. "Everything is ready down here, all I need is the blood."
Buffy was in the living room a second later holding the bowl. "Where's Willow?"
"I asked her to leave. It didn't seem right to have her here while I was doing magic." Tara took the blood from Buffy and placed it in the circle with the other items necessary to do the spell.
"Oh. It's for the best." Buffy looked at Tara anxiously. This just had to work, Spike was out of time.
"Buffy stand back and don't say a word, I need to keep my concentration."
Buffy did as Tara instructed and stood as far away as possible while still being able to watch the proceedings. Unconsciously her hands clenched into fists as she watched the timid girl read exotic words from a book. Idly Buffy wondered why they didn't translate the spells into English. It would make it much easier for those less language-ly inclined to follow along.
After reading from the book the first time, Tara closed her eyes and repeated the words over and over again. After several minutes with no response, Buffy began to fear that it wasn't going to work. Suddenly the air around Tara began to move, kind of like seeing heat rising off the pavement on a hot August afternoon. It seemed to coalesce in a spot about two feet in front of Tara where it swirled and pulsed faster and faster. The pitch of the witch's voice seemed to rise in urgency knowing, despite her closed eyes, that the spell was working. There was a loud crack in the air around the orb of light ending in a thud as something hit the floor. Buffy made a move towards it then held back as she remembered Tara's earlier request.
Tara's eyes flew open and she looked down. On the floor lay a silver chain from which a small crystal bottle full of glowing orange liquid hung. She turned to Buffy with a look of quiet triumph on her face. "Is this what we need?"
Buffy was momentarily struck speechless. It had worked. Not until the object appeared had she truly believed that they could do it without Willow but Tara had done it. Spike's chances of survival had dramatically increased thanks to this gentle girl.
"That's it! Let's get this upstairs."
Tara tossed the bottle to Buffy and called to her as she charged up to the bedroom, "I have to close the circle I'll be up in a minute."
Buffy reached Spike's side and paused. How was this supposed to work? Should he drink it or should she pour it over the wound? Indecision gnawed at her, she felt the need for speed but she was afraid of causing further damage. Not liking this very un-Slayer-like behavior one bit, she chose a course of action and mentally crossed her fingers.
Putting her hand on the back of Spike's neck, she tilted his head back and parted his lips with her finger. Uncapping the bottle she drained its contents down his throat before she was able to form a second thought.
Tara came into the room just as the empty bottle bit the ground. "Did it work?" Buffy was still supporting the vampire's neck.
"I don't know. I have no idea how long this will take or if I just made it worse." Buffy was resigned. There was nothing more that she could do except wait and she was just about as patient as Spike.
"I'll call Anya and see if the book says anything about recovery time." Tara left Buffy alone in the room with Spike.
Please be all right, please. What would her life be like without him? He was the only one who understood her. The only one who wanted to and it was completely selfish but she wanted him to get better for her as well as for Dawn. It struck Buffy that she had never seen him so still. Even when he slept he moved. Spike was the poster boy for hyper activity. That was the most frightening thing through this entire ordeal, the energy that was Spike had been stilled. Even after his bout with the hell-bitch Glory he had moved.
Tara came back into the room and walked over to Buffy's side. "I spoke with Anya and the book is pretty vague on the recovery stuff. I guess it's pretty rare that the cure is even obtained. Anyway the book said anywhere from minutes to hours before a change is noticeable."
"Hours?" Buffy looked at Tara and the witch noticed the lines of fatigue around her mouth and eyes.
"Buffy why don't you go to Dawn's room and get a few hours of sleep. I will sit with him until you wake up." Her tone conveyed a wealth of concern for the slayer.
"What about you? It has to take a lot out of you to do that spell stuff."
"Yeah, but the magic also gives a different kind of energy in return. I can wait a few hours."
Buffy's brow crinkled in query, "Is that why Willow got all weird?"
"Kinda, but what Willow was doing was…different." Tara was reluctant to dredge it up with the wound still so fresh.
"Kay. I am tired. Promise you'll wake me if his condition changes."
Tara made that promise and with one last search of Spike's face she headed off to Dawn's room for some much needed rest.