Author: ICountCrows
Disclaimer: All the character's are JKR's and the format (and some lyrics) of the song belong to Eminem.
Summary: This would be Voldie's version of Eminem's Without Me.
Warnings: Language
~*~*~*
Guess who's back
Back again
Voldie's back
Tell a friend
Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back...
JK's created a monster
'Cuz nobody wants to see Voldie no more, they want Potter, I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Potter then this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of him mixed with some Tom Riddle
Some Wormtail that'll jumpstart my heart
Quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By Nurse Pomfrey when I'm not cooperating
When I'm cursing the table while she's operating
You waited this long so stop debating
Cuz I'm back, I'm evil, and I deserve this rating
I know that you got a job Mr. Avery
But the Harry Potter problem is complicating
So the Ministry won't let me be or let me be me so let me see
They tried to shut me down down in Hogsmeade
But it feels so empty without me
So come on and curse
Muggles dead in the hearse
Fuck that
Potter goes first
And then it gets worse
And get ready
'Cuz this shit's about to get scary
Death Eater's settled all their lawsuits
Fuck you, Harry!
Chorus:
This looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
'Cuz we need a little controversy
'Cuz it feels so empty without me
Repeat Chorus
Little cowards
Kids feeling the power
Embarrassed of their heritage
Muggle or ours
The prisoners feel like Azkaban's sour
'Til I come along and let 'em out of the tower
A visionary
Vision is scary
Could start a revolution
Pollutin' the sky with the Dark Mark
So let me just revel and bask in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass
It's a disaster
Such a catastrophe
That you already know so much of my past
It's back with me
Well I'm back (batman sound)
Fix your broken wand, wave it once and then I'm gonna'
Enter in and up into a tree like a beehive
The center of attention back alive for Book Five
I'm really vicious
The best thing since Quidditch
Terrorizing minds of wizards and witches
Testing "Attention Please"
Feel the tension as soon as someone mentions me
"You Know Who" is what they all call me
A nuisance
I got my Death Eaters with me
Chorus
Repeat Chorus
A tisk-it a task-it
I'll go tit for tat with
Anybody who's talking this shit that shit
And Mr. Black it seems you can get your ass kicked
Worse than them snooty little heirs of Godric's
Arthur Weasley
You can get stomped so easy
You father figure red-headed fag, blow me
You don't know me
You're too old, let go, it's over
Anybody can work a telephone
Now let's go
I'll bring Crabbe and Goyle
And I'll be there with a whole new type of horror
I've been wary
Watching out with the wand
Ever since Crouch turned himself into an auror
But sometimes
The shit it just seems
Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm disgusting
But it's just me I'm just so mean
Though I'm not the first King
Of the Dark Arts
I am the worst thing
Since Ol' Salazar
To do Black Magic
Like I'm doing
And use it to
Some Muggle's ruin
Hey! There's a concept that works!
Twenty million other purebloods emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It'll feel so empty without me
Chorus
Repeat Chorus