Damn a lot of people have gone seriously hiatus on the Third Watch FF.N section. Or people just to lazy to sign reviews anymore, oh well. Well whoever is reading this, and I'm sure somebody does, then I hope your enjoying it as much as I'm writing it.
Chapter 4-Too Tired To Cry
Faith shut the lights off to her office. She had wanted to see Davis and especially this mysterious Mathews who was walking around with Bosco's face. But duty had called and she never got the chance to see them again that day, so she eagerly went home and waited for the next day to come so she could ask Gusler if he found out anything. She knew that Davis had placed Mathews with Gusler knowing that both of the older officers wanted to find anything on Mathews.
Pulling up the house that was empty she rejoiced, for all she wanted was some hot tea and a hot bath to calm down her tired muscles and just think without anybody bothering her. Only when she began to walk to her room upstairs she heard the door open and then slam shut.
"Hi Mom."
Faith stopped and came back.
"Hi Charlie, how was your day?"
Charlie shrugged his shoulders and was about to walk away when his mother handed her coat to him and asked if he would put it away for her. He did and folded over his arm and walked to the hallway closet to put it away as his mother walked up the stairs. As he flipped the coat back up so he could hang it up something fell to the ground.
Placing the heavy coat on the hanger he then bent down and picked up the broken picture frame and turned it over. He didn't expect the photo but he couldn't blame his mother. He would never admit to anyone but when he was younger and his mother sat his sister and himself down that he had ended up crying when she told them of Bosco's death. How do you handle death when you're a kid? You don't that's the answer. You can't because it's too hard to understand once you're dead you can never come back and forever is a long time for any child at such a young age.
Charlie could barely remember Bosco now, but still he remembered the tears he had cried, cried for himself, cried for Bosco and cried for his mother. He could remember his sister not wanting to eat for weeks, frightening his father and his mother. Charlie could hear the bagpipes far off in the distance of his mind, and his mother's strength when she held his hand and squeezed to the point he thought it would fall off.
"Honey if you need me I'm going to be taking a bath and...." Faith stopped short when she saw her son standing there looking at the picture she always kept near her. The picture she tried many times to put away and not get it back out, the picture she would try throwing away but would dig it out later in the night clean it off and placing it under her pillow.
"So I see you finally found my picture."
Faith was waiting for it. She waited for her son to get angry at her for having another man's picture instead of her husband, his father. Only he walked over and gave the picture to his mother. He than looked down at his mother's sad eyes and then gave a sympathetic smile and hugged his mother. Before breaking away he gave his mother a kiss on the forehead.
"I understand." Charlie then bypassed his mother and ran upstairs to his room.
Glancing down at the picture she noticed the glass had broken. She knew she would end up replacing it. Biting her lip she looked up the darkened staircase.
She remembered the day she had to tell her children about Bosco. All she could think was she didn't want to tell them, she didn't want to see that look come across their features and feel her own beginning to tingle with the feeling of tears. She just wanted more than anything to be somewhere else at that moment in time.
Faith refused to cry. She had cried enough times for Bosco and today happened to be a day where she was just to damn tired to cry. So going to the closest she than shut the door and brought the picture to it's normal spot for the night, under her pillow.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
No sound, no color. Just pictures. Racing too quickly to make sense of them, to jumbled up to comprehend.
Faith knew where she was. She had been there many times. It was the place Bosco had been taken from her, the area in which the accident had happened. Only thing was in this dream like all the others there were no ambulances, no fire trucks and no people, no cops either, just her and Bosco's car and him.
She did what she always did. Walked up to the car and would see him dangling, lying there as always not a damn thing she could do for him. He died alone, by himself. Her body shivered at the thought of having to repeat this dream.
When she began to repeat what she always did in her dreams, she stopped. Something was different. She looked around.
Like always dreams don't make sense, one moment you're standing there the next you aren't. Instead of looking in the car she was now on the beach, what beach she not know for she never seen it before in her life. Feeling the cold water tingle her feet, Faith stepped back and bumped into something.
Turning around slowly she saw her partner. He was smirking and looking handsome as always. He grabbed her shoulders and looked her right in the eyes.
"You can't keep doing this to yourself."
"Doing what?"
"You know what I'm talking about....just let go....everything will be okay....trust me."
Before Faith knew what was happening she was brought out of her dream. Something made her wake up and she realized when she sat up. She had to go to the bathroom.
Faith got up from the bed hearing her husband snore soundly. She made her way to the bathroom.
After she was done she looked herself in the mirror and shook her head. She was losing it. She was freaking losing it. Now she was having dreams about Bosco and some freaky beach and, yep she was losing it. Rolling her eyes and wondered if maybe she should go to some shrink.
Getting back into bed Faith felt weird. She felt okay but weird, not being able to explain it she shut her eyelids and mentally thinking
"I don't want to let go just yet."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Mommy, how come I don't have a Daddy?"
Lauren was brought back by this. She knew the question would come someday but the conclusion was you're never ready for something like that.
"What makes you ask that honey?"
"Well, there this work on what your parents do, I put you but, but everybody had something for their Daddy, but I don't. So why don't I have one?"
Knowing she couldn't lie to her son, because if you lie how do you explain yourself when they get older? So she picked up her son and moved him over to the couch where she sat down right beside him.
"Well honey, you do have a Daddy. Just when Mommy had you, I was very young. So Grandma and Grandpa helped out and we left not telling your Daddy. It was a mistake, I should of told him. I'm sure he would of loved you just as much as I do." or Lauren hoped so. She didn't know Bosco that much and she wasn't if he was sure the type of guy to call her a slut and say he wasn't the Dad and she just didn't need that right now in her life.
She grabbed her son and embraced him and kissed him on the head.
"Come on, I'll help you with your assignment okay."
Maurice Mathews nodded his head and with a quiet voice said 'okay'.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Faith couldn't recall when she was so anxious to get to work. She stepped inside and her eyes already began to search out Mathews. Not seeing him she also looked for Steven Gusler but to her dismay he was nowhere in sight. So she went to her office when she ran into Davis on the way there.
"So?" asked Davis
"So what?" she asked back.
"So did Gusler find anything out?"
"No, I was hoping he had talked to you Davis. Damn. Come on I need to go to roll call, hopefully will see him before he goes out."
(Rollcall Room)
"Who's missing?" asked Faith as she walked up to the other Sgt.
"Steven Gusler."
Faith's mind began to yell 'of all the times to call in sick.'
"Did he say why by any chance?"
"Ummm, said it was a family emergency."
Faith got an idea that was off the wall but she hoped that the Captain would let her.
"Excuse me, start roll call without me."
After 5mintues of talking to the Captain she walked out of his officer with a big grin on her face.
"What is with the smile?"
"You'll see in a second if you stick around."
Faith Yokas walked into the roll call room as the Sgt. just finished what he was saying when she spoke up.
"Mathews you will be working with me today, that is it, be careful and keep your eyes and ears open for anything."
The room dismissed and Mathews stayed back and then filed out of the room with Faith.
"Sign out our radios I'll be right back."
Mathews left and she hung back where Davis caught up with her.
"Oh I see, you little tricky devil you. Well hope you find out something, because I like to know to. Good luck Faith."
"Thanks Ty," Davis walked away and Faith mumbled as she to walked in the direction where her new partner was waiting for her, "I'm going to need it."
TBC....In Chapter 5-Like Father, Like Son
Chapter 4-Too Tired To Cry
Faith shut the lights off to her office. She had wanted to see Davis and especially this mysterious Mathews who was walking around with Bosco's face. But duty had called and she never got the chance to see them again that day, so she eagerly went home and waited for the next day to come so she could ask Gusler if he found out anything. She knew that Davis had placed Mathews with Gusler knowing that both of the older officers wanted to find anything on Mathews.
Pulling up the house that was empty she rejoiced, for all she wanted was some hot tea and a hot bath to calm down her tired muscles and just think without anybody bothering her. Only when she began to walk to her room upstairs she heard the door open and then slam shut.
"Hi Mom."
Faith stopped and came back.
"Hi Charlie, how was your day?"
Charlie shrugged his shoulders and was about to walk away when his mother handed her coat to him and asked if he would put it away for her. He did and folded over his arm and walked to the hallway closet to put it away as his mother walked up the stairs. As he flipped the coat back up so he could hang it up something fell to the ground.
Placing the heavy coat on the hanger he then bent down and picked up the broken picture frame and turned it over. He didn't expect the photo but he couldn't blame his mother. He would never admit to anyone but when he was younger and his mother sat his sister and himself down that he had ended up crying when she told them of Bosco's death. How do you handle death when you're a kid? You don't that's the answer. You can't because it's too hard to understand once you're dead you can never come back and forever is a long time for any child at such a young age.
Charlie could barely remember Bosco now, but still he remembered the tears he had cried, cried for himself, cried for Bosco and cried for his mother. He could remember his sister not wanting to eat for weeks, frightening his father and his mother. Charlie could hear the bagpipes far off in the distance of his mind, and his mother's strength when she held his hand and squeezed to the point he thought it would fall off.
"Honey if you need me I'm going to be taking a bath and...." Faith stopped short when she saw her son standing there looking at the picture she always kept near her. The picture she tried many times to put away and not get it back out, the picture she would try throwing away but would dig it out later in the night clean it off and placing it under her pillow.
"So I see you finally found my picture."
Faith was waiting for it. She waited for her son to get angry at her for having another man's picture instead of her husband, his father. Only he walked over and gave the picture to his mother. He than looked down at his mother's sad eyes and then gave a sympathetic smile and hugged his mother. Before breaking away he gave his mother a kiss on the forehead.
"I understand." Charlie then bypassed his mother and ran upstairs to his room.
Glancing down at the picture she noticed the glass had broken. She knew she would end up replacing it. Biting her lip she looked up the darkened staircase.
She remembered the day she had to tell her children about Bosco. All she could think was she didn't want to tell them, she didn't want to see that look come across their features and feel her own beginning to tingle with the feeling of tears. She just wanted more than anything to be somewhere else at that moment in time.
Faith refused to cry. She had cried enough times for Bosco and today happened to be a day where she was just to damn tired to cry. So going to the closest she than shut the door and brought the picture to it's normal spot for the night, under her pillow.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
No sound, no color. Just pictures. Racing too quickly to make sense of them, to jumbled up to comprehend.
Faith knew where she was. She had been there many times. It was the place Bosco had been taken from her, the area in which the accident had happened. Only thing was in this dream like all the others there were no ambulances, no fire trucks and no people, no cops either, just her and Bosco's car and him.
She did what she always did. Walked up to the car and would see him dangling, lying there as always not a damn thing she could do for him. He died alone, by himself. Her body shivered at the thought of having to repeat this dream.
When she began to repeat what she always did in her dreams, she stopped. Something was different. She looked around.
Like always dreams don't make sense, one moment you're standing there the next you aren't. Instead of looking in the car she was now on the beach, what beach she not know for she never seen it before in her life. Feeling the cold water tingle her feet, Faith stepped back and bumped into something.
Turning around slowly she saw her partner. He was smirking and looking handsome as always. He grabbed her shoulders and looked her right in the eyes.
"You can't keep doing this to yourself."
"Doing what?"
"You know what I'm talking about....just let go....everything will be okay....trust me."
Before Faith knew what was happening she was brought out of her dream. Something made her wake up and she realized when she sat up. She had to go to the bathroom.
Faith got up from the bed hearing her husband snore soundly. She made her way to the bathroom.
After she was done she looked herself in the mirror and shook her head. She was losing it. She was freaking losing it. Now she was having dreams about Bosco and some freaky beach and, yep she was losing it. Rolling her eyes and wondered if maybe she should go to some shrink.
Getting back into bed Faith felt weird. She felt okay but weird, not being able to explain it she shut her eyelids and mentally thinking
"I don't want to let go just yet."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Mommy, how come I don't have a Daddy?"
Lauren was brought back by this. She knew the question would come someday but the conclusion was you're never ready for something like that.
"What makes you ask that honey?"
"Well, there this work on what your parents do, I put you but, but everybody had something for their Daddy, but I don't. So why don't I have one?"
Knowing she couldn't lie to her son, because if you lie how do you explain yourself when they get older? So she picked up her son and moved him over to the couch where she sat down right beside him.
"Well honey, you do have a Daddy. Just when Mommy had you, I was very young. So Grandma and Grandpa helped out and we left not telling your Daddy. It was a mistake, I should of told him. I'm sure he would of loved you just as much as I do." or Lauren hoped so. She didn't know Bosco that much and she wasn't if he was sure the type of guy to call her a slut and say he wasn't the Dad and she just didn't need that right now in her life.
She grabbed her son and embraced him and kissed him on the head.
"Come on, I'll help you with your assignment okay."
Maurice Mathews nodded his head and with a quiet voice said 'okay'.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Faith couldn't recall when she was so anxious to get to work. She stepped inside and her eyes already began to search out Mathews. Not seeing him she also looked for Steven Gusler but to her dismay he was nowhere in sight. So she went to her office when she ran into Davis on the way there.
"So?" asked Davis
"So what?" she asked back.
"So did Gusler find anything out?"
"No, I was hoping he had talked to you Davis. Damn. Come on I need to go to roll call, hopefully will see him before he goes out."
(Rollcall Room)
"Who's missing?" asked Faith as she walked up to the other Sgt.
"Steven Gusler."
Faith's mind began to yell 'of all the times to call in sick.'
"Did he say why by any chance?"
"Ummm, said it was a family emergency."
Faith got an idea that was off the wall but she hoped that the Captain would let her.
"Excuse me, start roll call without me."
After 5mintues of talking to the Captain she walked out of his officer with a big grin on her face.
"What is with the smile?"
"You'll see in a second if you stick around."
Faith Yokas walked into the roll call room as the Sgt. just finished what he was saying when she spoke up.
"Mathews you will be working with me today, that is it, be careful and keep your eyes and ears open for anything."
The room dismissed and Mathews stayed back and then filed out of the room with Faith.
"Sign out our radios I'll be right back."
Mathews left and she hung back where Davis caught up with her.
"Oh I see, you little tricky devil you. Well hope you find out something, because I like to know to. Good luck Faith."
"Thanks Ty," Davis walked away and Faith mumbled as she to walked in the direction where her new partner was waiting for her, "I'm going to need it."
TBC....In Chapter 5-Like Father, Like Son