Only In Dreams
Walking down Fulton St. that morning, Black Star found herself immersed in thought, a common occurrence with her.
*When all the things that you've been thinking have you so confused it starts your head spinning, then what? When all your friends don't have the answers and you're so convinced that they've turned to strangers, then what? And then one day everything's taken away from you and you're forced to rebuild your life, only you're convinced the way to live is not to trust, not to confide, not to talk, not to love, not to live. And things work out for a while, you're not happy but you haven't suffered heartbreak since. Then someone comes into your life and makes you feel. . . . different. Do you run, or do you give in? And once you give in and learn to love all over again, then what?*
These thoughts swirled around in her mind and jumbled together, making her wonder if she was thinking clearly at all. So occupied with her thinking was she, she barely noticed a familiar-looking brown-haired boy fall into step with her.
"So, you ain't even gonna offer me a pape?" The boy spoke up and startled Black Star from her thoughts.
"Jesus H. Christ, don't do that!" Black Star cried, trying to recover from her momentary display of weakness.
"S-sorry, I didn't know you'se so jumpy." Rivers said, feeling bad and looking down.
"Don't worry 'bout it, I'm fine now." Black Star said, pausing to hand a paper to one of her usual customers.
"So, you seemed pretty deep in thought." Rivers observed.
"I usually am." She shrugged.
"Whatd'ya usually t'ink 'bout?" He asked.
"T'ings." She shrugged again.
"One day, Black Star Riley, I'm gonna figure you out." He grinned. She just scowled at him.
"Well, good luck on that but I might just not be 'ere ta figure out." She muttered, heading down to Water St. and leaving Rivers behind.
"WHERE DA HELL IS ME SKETCHBOOK?!" Monday shouted at the top of her lungs. Startled, Black Star near fell off the step she had been sitting on, and clambered up the rest of them to the bunkroom where she saw Monday tearing through the room.
"You left it in ya bag, Monday." Hawkeye commented, not even looking up from her journal.
"Yeah, well it ain't THERE anymore." She near-wailed.
"Speakin' a missin' t'ings, anyone seen Box Top?" Slow Match asked, pausing in the doorway as he shook rainwater off of his drenched self. Two cheerful "No's" and one miserable grunt was the answer that was returned.
"'E's probably wreakin' havoc somewhere near da docks, 'specially since it just started rainin', don't worry 'bout the bum." Hawkeye murmured. Slow Match nodded thoughtfully, returning to boy's bunkroom. Monday continued to rip through her things looking for her sketchbook but with no results and by the time lights out rolled around, there was no choice but to go to sleep.
Late that night, Black Star found herself awoken, but by what, she couldn't be sure. Sensing an unknown presence in the room, she looked around wildly before spotting a pair of deep brown eyes peering at her. Before she could even make a sound, though, she felt a hand cover her mouth.
"Shhh! Don't wake the rest a' 'em!" The voice hissed. Sitting up, she saw the murky moonlight reflecting on a familiar form. It was Rivers.
"What the hell do ya want?" She demanded in a whisper.
"Walk wit' me." He grinned.
"It's the middle a' the night AND it's rainin', are you crazy?" She said, her eyes wide. "Maybe." He shrugged as he went back out the window and down the fire escape. She knew she should have left the window locked.
With a sigh and going against all good judgment, she pulled on a pair of Hawkeye's pants and her own navy blue blouse, grabbing her bowler hat before heading out the window, closing it softly behind her.
"Fine evenin' for a walk, don'tcha think?" Rivers grinned as Black Star appeared on the sidewalk next to him.
"Only if you'se got half a brain." She muttered, shivering already.
"So what does that make you?" He smirked.
"Whatdya mean?" She demanded.
"Well, you came, didn't you?" He pointed out.
"I s'pose. But no one nevah said nothin' for me intelligence." She smiled. She'd been doing that a lot more lately, smiling.
"So. . . ." Rivers said as they started to walk. "I've told you 'bout me past, what 'bout yours?" He asked. Black Star stiffened visibly, and it wasn't just from the cold.
"The past's in the past, let's leave it there. Anyways, you only told me 'bout your life once you'se came ta Manhattan, nothin' before." She pointed out.
"There ain't nothin' before that." He said reluctantly.
"So you'se just dropped outta the sky when you'se was 14?" She asked.
"Yep." He grinned, not phased in the slightest. "So, who's this Finch character?"
"How you know 'bout Finch?" She asked suspiciously.
"Talked to Box Top taday, just 'bout all the people at the Lodgin' House. He mentioned a certain boy a' yours named Finch - "
"He ain't my 'boy.'" She interrupted.
"Ya love 'im?" Rivers asked suddenly.
"Love's a lie." She said bitterly.
"No it ain't!" Rivers cried. "Love is a sure sign of life! There ain't no life without love!"
"Wouldja shut ya piehole, you'se gonna wake the whole neighborhood with yer hollerin'!" Black Star hissed but Rivers barely paid heed.
"If you don't love then you ain't truly alive! Love is the only thing you need!"
"Love ain't brought me nothin' but pain and I'ms getting' along just poifect without it now." She shot back.
"No you ain't." Rivers challenged. "It's in your eyes, it's what you think 'bout all the time - "
"You don't know none a' that!" Black Star scowled. He was so sure of himself and in the back of her head, she knew he was right.
"Yeah, I do." He said as he took a step closer to her. "And you know I do." He said softly as he pulled her into his arms, holding her for a moment before turning and disappearing into the pouring rain. Black Star stood there in the pouring rain, completely outraged.
"The NERVE!" She seethed as she tried to shake the feeling of serenity she had just experienced, the same feeling she had experienced in her dream. Finally noticing how soaked she was, she kicked the ground for being so stupid as to come outside with him and headed back up the escape to the bunkroom window. Once back in bed she laid, still slightly shivering, and thought of that one moment where he had held her in his arms. For a second, it had seemed like life was perfect. . . . shaking her head she pushed the thought away, things like that happened only in dreams.
A/N: Bit of a Moulin Rouge in there for those MR fans, you know what I'm talking about.
Walking down Fulton St. that morning, Black Star found herself immersed in thought, a common occurrence with her.
*When all the things that you've been thinking have you so confused it starts your head spinning, then what? When all your friends don't have the answers and you're so convinced that they've turned to strangers, then what? And then one day everything's taken away from you and you're forced to rebuild your life, only you're convinced the way to live is not to trust, not to confide, not to talk, not to love, not to live. And things work out for a while, you're not happy but you haven't suffered heartbreak since. Then someone comes into your life and makes you feel. . . . different. Do you run, or do you give in? And once you give in and learn to love all over again, then what?*
These thoughts swirled around in her mind and jumbled together, making her wonder if she was thinking clearly at all. So occupied with her thinking was she, she barely noticed a familiar-looking brown-haired boy fall into step with her.
"So, you ain't even gonna offer me a pape?" The boy spoke up and startled Black Star from her thoughts.
"Jesus H. Christ, don't do that!" Black Star cried, trying to recover from her momentary display of weakness.
"S-sorry, I didn't know you'se so jumpy." Rivers said, feeling bad and looking down.
"Don't worry 'bout it, I'm fine now." Black Star said, pausing to hand a paper to one of her usual customers.
"So, you seemed pretty deep in thought." Rivers observed.
"I usually am." She shrugged.
"Whatd'ya usually t'ink 'bout?" He asked.
"T'ings." She shrugged again.
"One day, Black Star Riley, I'm gonna figure you out." He grinned. She just scowled at him.
"Well, good luck on that but I might just not be 'ere ta figure out." She muttered, heading down to Water St. and leaving Rivers behind.
"WHERE DA HELL IS ME SKETCHBOOK?!" Monday shouted at the top of her lungs. Startled, Black Star near fell off the step she had been sitting on, and clambered up the rest of them to the bunkroom where she saw Monday tearing through the room.
"You left it in ya bag, Monday." Hawkeye commented, not even looking up from her journal.
"Yeah, well it ain't THERE anymore." She near-wailed.
"Speakin' a missin' t'ings, anyone seen Box Top?" Slow Match asked, pausing in the doorway as he shook rainwater off of his drenched self. Two cheerful "No's" and one miserable grunt was the answer that was returned.
"'E's probably wreakin' havoc somewhere near da docks, 'specially since it just started rainin', don't worry 'bout the bum." Hawkeye murmured. Slow Match nodded thoughtfully, returning to boy's bunkroom. Monday continued to rip through her things looking for her sketchbook but with no results and by the time lights out rolled around, there was no choice but to go to sleep.
Late that night, Black Star found herself awoken, but by what, she couldn't be sure. Sensing an unknown presence in the room, she looked around wildly before spotting a pair of deep brown eyes peering at her. Before she could even make a sound, though, she felt a hand cover her mouth.
"Shhh! Don't wake the rest a' 'em!" The voice hissed. Sitting up, she saw the murky moonlight reflecting on a familiar form. It was Rivers.
"What the hell do ya want?" She demanded in a whisper.
"Walk wit' me." He grinned.
"It's the middle a' the night AND it's rainin', are you crazy?" She said, her eyes wide. "Maybe." He shrugged as he went back out the window and down the fire escape. She knew she should have left the window locked.
With a sigh and going against all good judgment, she pulled on a pair of Hawkeye's pants and her own navy blue blouse, grabbing her bowler hat before heading out the window, closing it softly behind her.
"Fine evenin' for a walk, don'tcha think?" Rivers grinned as Black Star appeared on the sidewalk next to him.
"Only if you'se got half a brain." She muttered, shivering already.
"So what does that make you?" He smirked.
"Whatdya mean?" She demanded.
"Well, you came, didn't you?" He pointed out.
"I s'pose. But no one nevah said nothin' for me intelligence." She smiled. She'd been doing that a lot more lately, smiling.
"So. . . ." Rivers said as they started to walk. "I've told you 'bout me past, what 'bout yours?" He asked. Black Star stiffened visibly, and it wasn't just from the cold.
"The past's in the past, let's leave it there. Anyways, you only told me 'bout your life once you'se came ta Manhattan, nothin' before." She pointed out.
"There ain't nothin' before that." He said reluctantly.
"So you'se just dropped outta the sky when you'se was 14?" She asked.
"Yep." He grinned, not phased in the slightest. "So, who's this Finch character?"
"How you know 'bout Finch?" She asked suspiciously.
"Talked to Box Top taday, just 'bout all the people at the Lodgin' House. He mentioned a certain boy a' yours named Finch - "
"He ain't my 'boy.'" She interrupted.
"Ya love 'im?" Rivers asked suddenly.
"Love's a lie." She said bitterly.
"No it ain't!" Rivers cried. "Love is a sure sign of life! There ain't no life without love!"
"Wouldja shut ya piehole, you'se gonna wake the whole neighborhood with yer hollerin'!" Black Star hissed but Rivers barely paid heed.
"If you don't love then you ain't truly alive! Love is the only thing you need!"
"Love ain't brought me nothin' but pain and I'ms getting' along just poifect without it now." She shot back.
"No you ain't." Rivers challenged. "It's in your eyes, it's what you think 'bout all the time - "
"You don't know none a' that!" Black Star scowled. He was so sure of himself and in the back of her head, she knew he was right.
"Yeah, I do." He said as he took a step closer to her. "And you know I do." He said softly as he pulled her into his arms, holding her for a moment before turning and disappearing into the pouring rain. Black Star stood there in the pouring rain, completely outraged.
"The NERVE!" She seethed as she tried to shake the feeling of serenity she had just experienced, the same feeling she had experienced in her dream. Finally noticing how soaked she was, she kicked the ground for being so stupid as to come outside with him and headed back up the escape to the bunkroom window. Once back in bed she laid, still slightly shivering, and thought of that one moment where he had held her in his arms. For a second, it had seemed like life was perfect. . . . shaking her head she pushed the thought away, things like that happened only in dreams.
A/N: Bit of a Moulin Rouge in there for those MR fans, you know what I'm talking about.