Chapter Nine:
Finally the sun began to set in the west, and the fellowship paddled to the shore. Aragorn, of course, immediately jumped out of the boat and dragged Meghan to a bush.
Legolas smiled and gave Christine a wink before taking her hand and pulling her toward another bush. Christine yanked her hand away and slapped him so hard that he staggered, falling onto the ground. Grinning, she walked toward Merry and Pippin instead.
Now Patty noticed the pairing going on, and she felt somewhat left out. So she gave Frodo the most lustful look she could, heading off into the woods where there were plenty more bushes. Frodo blinked stupidly for a moment, then he suddenly jumped up and raced after her.
Lauren sat in a daze, staring down at her cracked and broken guitar. Gimli looked disgusted at what was going on, so he began to cook the dinner. Sam had fallen asleep already, leaning against a tree. Legolas was still laying on the dusty ground, holding his face in shock.
Suddenly he jumped with a start as Meghan emerged from the bush, giggling, and with a wicked grin plastered on her face. Aragorn stumbled out after her, his tunic unbuttoned and his boots off. "Where are you going?!" he cried.
"Sorry, hun, that's as far as I go with men."
"Noooo!" he wailed. "Please come back!"
"Sorry Aragorn, it's just that in my experience men just don't perform very well." She turned to smirk at him. "Now elves on the other hand..." she grinned at Legolas now. "I'm sure they certainly know how to make a lady happy." Legolas jumped up quickly at this, composed himself, and tried to look as dominantly male as possible.
"I'd be much obliged to make you happy," he said.
Meghan approached him, wrapping her arms around his neck, which he looked very pleased about. "Legolas," she said, a mockingly surprised note in her voice, "is that a longbow in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
Legolas was taken aback, and he began to stammer. "I - I, uh, it's - um..."
Meghan cut him off with a finger to his lips. Then she turned and began to walk along the shoreline of the Anduin river.
Lauren of course had come out of her daze at that last line and was now laughing uncontrollably. Legolas turned pink to the ears and then made his way after Meghan. Gimli guffawed loudly, and Aragorn got over his bout of loss and looked pleased with himself. "At least that didn't happen to me..." he mumbled.
Christine came back with the two hobbits, who were both smiling broadly. "So, is the food ready yet?" Pippin asked.
"Almost," Gimli answered.
Sam awoke from his nap with a start. "Where's Mr. Frodo?" he asked worriedly.
"With Patty," Gimli answered. "They went off in search of a bush."
"WHAT?! He has to lose his virginity with me!!!" Then he gulped. "I - er, I meant - well, oh screw it all to hell..." he mumbled before jumping up and running into the woods.
Christine sat by Lauren, acting like she hadn't heard that. Aragorn, Gimli, and the two hobbits, on the other hand, looked shocked.
The two girls just looked at all of them. "What, like that's news to you?" Christine asked sarcastically. At that moment Meghan returned, whistling cheerfully and looking none the worse for wear. Legolas followed some distance behind her, his clothing and hair a disheveled mess. When she got to the small fire she sat down next to the girls and began chatting.
The elf Prince looked at Aragorn. "Wow," was all he could say. "Sorry pal, sucks for you."
Then Meghan suddenly looked around at everyone, an expectant look flashing in her eyes. "Where's Boromir?" she asked, a disappointed frown coming over her face. Everyone else looked around as well, but the man was nowhere to be seen.
* * * * *
At that moment, Sam was searching for his master and Patty. He heard some giggling coming from the other side of a tree, and he angrily marched toward it. Parting the bushes, what he saw made him gasp.
Patty and Frodo were laying on the ground, watching a line of ants crawl toward a mound in between them. Patty giggled again as she dropped a leaf in their path. "Ooooh no, I'm lost!" She cracked up again. Sam didn't realize that pictures of "A Bug's Life" were flashing through her mind.
Now he sighed in relief. Frodo looked up at him. "What can I do for you, Sam?" he asked innocently.
"Um, well, Mr. Frodo, I came to, uh, tell you that dinner is ready now."
"All right, I will be there momentarily." He stood up and offered his hand to Patty, who took it and was pulled to her feet. The three started back toward the gathering.
Sam tugged on Frodo's arm and they fell behind the girl. "Excuse me, master, I don't want to be rude or anything..." he spoke hesitantly.
"What is it Sam?"
"Well, I was just wondering what you and Patty, er, did together."
Frodo grinned widely. "Oh Sam, I had so much fun with her!" Sam's stomach sunk and he stopped in his tracks.
"She taught me how to play a game called 'tag!'"
"'Tag?'" Sam didn't know what it was, but he didn't like the sound of it.
"We chased each other and the person who was 'it' had to touch the other person. Then that person was it."
"Oh!" *Thank goodness, * he thought.
Frodo turned away suddenly. "You know what, Sam, I'm not really hungry right now. I think I'll go for a walk." So Sam and Patty reached the fire together.
Everyone, minus Boromir and Frodo, had eaten dinner and were now resting contentedly. The girls were lying, napping, in a rough circle on one side of the fire, and the rest of the fellowship was scattered around the other side, also resting. It was the most relaxing evening they had spent outside of Lothlorien.
Legolas slowly and cautiously made his way toward the sleeping girls. He found the nearest girl, which happened to be Lauren, and gently lifted the flap of her bedroll, crawling in with her. She awoke with a start, and suddenly the entire fellowship became aware of her consciousness. They heard muffled curses, and suddenly a very angry teenage female was seen dragging a struggling form toward the river.
"Don't you EVER try that again, you stupid elf," she threatened.
"But I thought you might enjoy it if we had some fun together!" Legolas stated, thrashing wildly to escape her grip.
"Not after that!" she shouted angrily. "You don't just get in bed with a woman without ASKING her first! That's the most rude thing you can do!" And with that, she threw the Prince into the river, watching him splutter as he came up. Then she returned to her friends, who were all clapping and laughing.
Aragorn stared at her and then turned to Gimli. "Remind me never to try that," he said.
Christine, who was now obviously awake, suddenly became aware of the reason for their ability to rest in peace. "Where's Haley?" she asked. A slow realization suddenly dawned on the fellowship. Everyone jumped up, searching the area around their camp while calling her name. But she was nowhere to be found.
* * * * *
Frodo was walking through the woods, thinking. He lost track of time, and though the sun was beginning to set he didn't notice. Suddenly he came upon Boromir, who was picking up sticks.
"I know what torments you, Frodo," he said seriously. Frodo stared at him in confusion.
"You do?" he asked.
"Yes. You suffer, day by day. I can see it."
"Really?"
Boromir nodded. "Be assured that you do not suffer needlessly."
"Um, ok."
Suddenly Frodo caught a gleam in the man's eyes, and Boromir dropped the sticks he was carrying. "If you would but lend it to me, I could help bring peace back to Gondor."
"Lend what?" the hobbit asked, recoiling slightly at the supposed insanity of his companion.
"Frodo, give me the ring!" Boromir jumped for him, but missed as Frodo stepped back.
"I don't have the ring!" he shouted. Boromir stared up at him for a moment, and then he stood quickly.
"Oh, yeah. Right then. Talk to you later, Frodo." And then he raced of through the woods away from the extremely frightened hobbit.
* * * * *
Boromir found Haley chasing a butterfly through the air. "Hello Haley," he said gently.
"Hairy man!" she squealed.
Boromir shook angrily at this name, but he forced himself to continue. "Yes, it's me, Haley. Could I please see your ring?"
"No!" she screamed.
"Please? Only for a moment."
"NO!"
"Give it to me now, Haley! You'll be in trouble if you don't!" He stepped toward the little girl.
"NO!" she screamed again, running away from him. "It's mine!"
Finally the sun began to set in the west, and the fellowship paddled to the shore. Aragorn, of course, immediately jumped out of the boat and dragged Meghan to a bush.
Legolas smiled and gave Christine a wink before taking her hand and pulling her toward another bush. Christine yanked her hand away and slapped him so hard that he staggered, falling onto the ground. Grinning, she walked toward Merry and Pippin instead.
Now Patty noticed the pairing going on, and she felt somewhat left out. So she gave Frodo the most lustful look she could, heading off into the woods where there were plenty more bushes. Frodo blinked stupidly for a moment, then he suddenly jumped up and raced after her.
Lauren sat in a daze, staring down at her cracked and broken guitar. Gimli looked disgusted at what was going on, so he began to cook the dinner. Sam had fallen asleep already, leaning against a tree. Legolas was still laying on the dusty ground, holding his face in shock.
Suddenly he jumped with a start as Meghan emerged from the bush, giggling, and with a wicked grin plastered on her face. Aragorn stumbled out after her, his tunic unbuttoned and his boots off. "Where are you going?!" he cried.
"Sorry, hun, that's as far as I go with men."
"Noooo!" he wailed. "Please come back!"
"Sorry Aragorn, it's just that in my experience men just don't perform very well." She turned to smirk at him. "Now elves on the other hand..." she grinned at Legolas now. "I'm sure they certainly know how to make a lady happy." Legolas jumped up quickly at this, composed himself, and tried to look as dominantly male as possible.
"I'd be much obliged to make you happy," he said.
Meghan approached him, wrapping her arms around his neck, which he looked very pleased about. "Legolas," she said, a mockingly surprised note in her voice, "is that a longbow in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
Legolas was taken aback, and he began to stammer. "I - I, uh, it's - um..."
Meghan cut him off with a finger to his lips. Then she turned and began to walk along the shoreline of the Anduin river.
Lauren of course had come out of her daze at that last line and was now laughing uncontrollably. Legolas turned pink to the ears and then made his way after Meghan. Gimli guffawed loudly, and Aragorn got over his bout of loss and looked pleased with himself. "At least that didn't happen to me..." he mumbled.
Christine came back with the two hobbits, who were both smiling broadly. "So, is the food ready yet?" Pippin asked.
"Almost," Gimli answered.
Sam awoke from his nap with a start. "Where's Mr. Frodo?" he asked worriedly.
"With Patty," Gimli answered. "They went off in search of a bush."
"WHAT?! He has to lose his virginity with me!!!" Then he gulped. "I - er, I meant - well, oh screw it all to hell..." he mumbled before jumping up and running into the woods.
Christine sat by Lauren, acting like she hadn't heard that. Aragorn, Gimli, and the two hobbits, on the other hand, looked shocked.
The two girls just looked at all of them. "What, like that's news to you?" Christine asked sarcastically. At that moment Meghan returned, whistling cheerfully and looking none the worse for wear. Legolas followed some distance behind her, his clothing and hair a disheveled mess. When she got to the small fire she sat down next to the girls and began chatting.
The elf Prince looked at Aragorn. "Wow," was all he could say. "Sorry pal, sucks for you."
Then Meghan suddenly looked around at everyone, an expectant look flashing in her eyes. "Where's Boromir?" she asked, a disappointed frown coming over her face. Everyone else looked around as well, but the man was nowhere to be seen.
* * * * *
At that moment, Sam was searching for his master and Patty. He heard some giggling coming from the other side of a tree, and he angrily marched toward it. Parting the bushes, what he saw made him gasp.
Patty and Frodo were laying on the ground, watching a line of ants crawl toward a mound in between them. Patty giggled again as she dropped a leaf in their path. "Ooooh no, I'm lost!" She cracked up again. Sam didn't realize that pictures of "A Bug's Life" were flashing through her mind.
Now he sighed in relief. Frodo looked up at him. "What can I do for you, Sam?" he asked innocently.
"Um, well, Mr. Frodo, I came to, uh, tell you that dinner is ready now."
"All right, I will be there momentarily." He stood up and offered his hand to Patty, who took it and was pulled to her feet. The three started back toward the gathering.
Sam tugged on Frodo's arm and they fell behind the girl. "Excuse me, master, I don't want to be rude or anything..." he spoke hesitantly.
"What is it Sam?"
"Well, I was just wondering what you and Patty, er, did together."
Frodo grinned widely. "Oh Sam, I had so much fun with her!" Sam's stomach sunk and he stopped in his tracks.
"She taught me how to play a game called 'tag!'"
"'Tag?'" Sam didn't know what it was, but he didn't like the sound of it.
"We chased each other and the person who was 'it' had to touch the other person. Then that person was it."
"Oh!" *Thank goodness, * he thought.
Frodo turned away suddenly. "You know what, Sam, I'm not really hungry right now. I think I'll go for a walk." So Sam and Patty reached the fire together.
Everyone, minus Boromir and Frodo, had eaten dinner and were now resting contentedly. The girls were lying, napping, in a rough circle on one side of the fire, and the rest of the fellowship was scattered around the other side, also resting. It was the most relaxing evening they had spent outside of Lothlorien.
Legolas slowly and cautiously made his way toward the sleeping girls. He found the nearest girl, which happened to be Lauren, and gently lifted the flap of her bedroll, crawling in with her. She awoke with a start, and suddenly the entire fellowship became aware of her consciousness. They heard muffled curses, and suddenly a very angry teenage female was seen dragging a struggling form toward the river.
"Don't you EVER try that again, you stupid elf," she threatened.
"But I thought you might enjoy it if we had some fun together!" Legolas stated, thrashing wildly to escape her grip.
"Not after that!" she shouted angrily. "You don't just get in bed with a woman without ASKING her first! That's the most rude thing you can do!" And with that, she threw the Prince into the river, watching him splutter as he came up. Then she returned to her friends, who were all clapping and laughing.
Aragorn stared at her and then turned to Gimli. "Remind me never to try that," he said.
Christine, who was now obviously awake, suddenly became aware of the reason for their ability to rest in peace. "Where's Haley?" she asked. A slow realization suddenly dawned on the fellowship. Everyone jumped up, searching the area around their camp while calling her name. But she was nowhere to be found.
* * * * *
Frodo was walking through the woods, thinking. He lost track of time, and though the sun was beginning to set he didn't notice. Suddenly he came upon Boromir, who was picking up sticks.
"I know what torments you, Frodo," he said seriously. Frodo stared at him in confusion.
"You do?" he asked.
"Yes. You suffer, day by day. I can see it."
"Really?"
Boromir nodded. "Be assured that you do not suffer needlessly."
"Um, ok."
Suddenly Frodo caught a gleam in the man's eyes, and Boromir dropped the sticks he was carrying. "If you would but lend it to me, I could help bring peace back to Gondor."
"Lend what?" the hobbit asked, recoiling slightly at the supposed insanity of his companion.
"Frodo, give me the ring!" Boromir jumped for him, but missed as Frodo stepped back.
"I don't have the ring!" he shouted. Boromir stared up at him for a moment, and then he stood quickly.
"Oh, yeah. Right then. Talk to you later, Frodo." And then he raced of through the woods away from the extremely frightened hobbit.
* * * * *
Boromir found Haley chasing a butterfly through the air. "Hello Haley," he said gently.
"Hairy man!" she squealed.
Boromir shook angrily at this name, but he forced himself to continue. "Yes, it's me, Haley. Could I please see your ring?"
"No!" she screamed.
"Please? Only for a moment."
"NO!"
"Give it to me now, Haley! You'll be in trouble if you don't!" He stepped toward the little girl.
"NO!" she screamed again, running away from him. "It's mine!"