A/N:  Sorry for the delay in updates!  Meghan's not here for now!  : (  She'll be back soon though!  Everyone say something nice to her in your review, please!  ^_^

Chapter Seven

Everyone was skipping around Lothlorien happily (with the exception of Frodo and Aragorn who were beating each other up), when a group of scout elves ran up to the group and grabbed Nicki.

"GET THE HECK OFF ME YOU [censored] [censored]!  WHAT THE [censored] IS YOUR [censored] [censored] PROBLEM?!" She screamed as she fought the ones that held her arms.  The fellowship looked strangely at the elves that were tying her up, but did nothing to stop it.  

One of the elves walked up to them to explain.  "We have evidence that she has been sending word to Saru…I mean, Raven, concerning the details of your journey." He said, giving the now tied and gagged girl a glare.

"What?" Sam said. "Why would she be doing that?"

"Sexual favors." The elf responded simply.

"Ewwww…" Christine and Lauren said together. 

"That's just…EW!" Patty shivered.

Legolas walked up, "So what do you plan to do with her?"

The elf shrugged. "Raven seemed to be pretty satisfied, so we're considering…ah…" he looked at the hobbits and the young, impressionable girls. "Telling her she's a very bad girl and locking her away in my closet…I MEAN, the dungeon!"  He said hastily.  Nicki started to squirm in her restraints, but the group of scouts took her away. 

"Bye!" Pippin yelled, waving as they disappeared into the forest.

Christine shrugged and turned back to Legolas.  "Once and for all!  Winner gets to kill Raven/Saruman! ROCK!"

Legolas squinted his eyes and yelled "PAPER!"

"SCISSORS!" Christine yelled back.

"SHOOT!" They screamed together at the top of their lungs.  Legolas put up rock, and Christine put up paper; making her the winner.

"YOINK!" She yelled and took his bow.  "Mine now!  Because one does not simply walk up to Saruman and kill him!"

Lauren laughed. "DOOOOOOM!" she shouted and fell to the ground, causing everyone in the clearing to stare.

"THE EYE!" Christine wailed before collapsing to the forest floor in laughter also.

While the two girls grabbed the attention of the group, a figure behind a tree called to Frodo.

"Pst!  C'mere!"  The brown haired girl yelled.

Frodo pointed to himself and mouthed 'Me?'

She nodded and motioned for him to come over.  When he did she stuck out her hand.  "I'm Jenn," She said "I'm a friend of Gandalf's." 

"Really?" Frodo asked his eyes wide.

"Yep!  I'm his weed supplier!  He told me once that you and your buddies are his main customers!"

"Yeah…" The hobbit said hesitantly, "What's it to you?"

"He told me before you left that you didn't bring much and that you go through it quick.  Since he's gone I figured I'd help you out.  My stuff is more concentrated than the wimpy weed the elves try to pass off for hobbit weed!  And I'll give you a better deal than those pointy eared weirdos!" She pulled back a flap of her cloak to reveal bags and bags of hobbit weed. "Totally pure!"

Frodo's eyes went wide. "How much…hey!  Wait a minute!  How'd you know about Gandalf?"

Jenn laughed. "I have eyes and ears all over middle-earth.  Nothing happens without me knowing!  Now you want some or not?"

"Heck yeah!" Frodo yelled then quieted himself, afraid of someone finding him.  "I don't have much cash though…"

"Don't worry about it!  I don't accept cash anyway!  There's something else I want from you!"

"What?  Anything!" He said excitedly.

"Elven wine.  I have a few customers back in the Shire who requested some and they specifically asked for some from Lothlorien.  Very sweet stuff…" She said smiling.

"How much do you want?" Frodo asked happily, knowing Galadriel would be happy to give him some.

She whipped out a note-pad from her pocket and flipped a few pages until she found what she was looking for. "Four bottles, or fifteen flasks."

"Done!" He sprinted off to find the Lady of the Wood. 

He returned a few minutes later carrying a bag.  He handed it to her and held out his hand for his weed.  Before doing anything, Jenn checked the bag.  When she was sure there were four bottles of the best wine, she opened her cloak again and handed him two bags.

"It's a little extra," she said. "Think of me for all your future weed needs!" Jenn whistled and a horse came to her from out of the blue.  "Use it well, little man!  I may not be back for a bit!" With that, she rode off into the forest.

Frodo skipped off happily to find Meghan.  She was sitting on a rock watching Boromir and Aragorn fight over her.  She smiled happily when he walked up.

"Hey Meghan…" He started shyly.

"Hello there, Frodo!" She said happily.

"Meghan…do you smoke weed?" he said peeking up at her.

"HELL YEAH…I mean, yes, a bit…" She said, regaining composure.  Frodo held up his bag and Meghan jumped up, pulling him behind a tree.  They proceeded to smoke, and smoke, and smoke, while Boromir and Aragorn were still fighting.

In another clearing, Lauren and Patty were trying to teach Sam, Pippin, and Merry a song.  Lauren had a new guitar across her lap and Patty had written out the lyrics in the dirt.

"Now just like this guys:" Patty then started to sing a familiar old tune. "So, bye-bye, Miss American Pie.  Drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was dry…"

"Who's American?" Pippin asked, interrupting her.

"America is a place." She stated and took a breath to start again, but Merry stopped her again.

"So her name is Pie?"

"No, American Pie is a figure of speech." Patty said with a trace of annoyance in her voice.  She took another breath in hopes of starting again, but Sam asked another question.

"Why are we saying good by to it?  Or her?  What is it?"

Patty took the guitar from Lauren and smashed it over her own head; sending her into a state of unconsciousness.

Back to Meghan and Frodo…

The two were now officially stoned.  They sat on a rock, leaning on each other singing horribly out of tune.

"Noooobody knows the troooouuble I've seeeeen.  Noooooobody knooows my sorrow…"

Their song could faintly be heard by Christine and Legolas, who had decided to resolve their differences up in a tree…alone…

The smell of their strawberry-scented candle wafted down through the leaves of the trees to the fight that was still going on between Boromir and Aragorn.  Neither of them had noticed Meghan's absence.

The hobbits were poking Patty with sticks and putting bugs in her hair while Lauren mourned the loss of yet another guitar.

Suddenly there was a yell that echoed through the forest and Gimli, with a very pleased look on his face, walked away from the direction it came from.  Following him was an enraged Haldir and a half naked Legolas.

"You said you loved me!" Haldir yelled at Legolas as he stalked away from him.  "How could you do this?"

Legolas jumped into his adorable brown booty things as he chased him.  "It wasn't what it looked like!"

"Oh really?  You know what?  Go!  Have Christine!"  He looked to Gimli. "Thank you, Gimli." The angry elf stormed off.

Legolas shrugged.  "Oh Christiiiiine…" He called as he made his way back to their tree.

While everyone watched the exchange of words between the two ex-lovers, Haley was busy swimming in Galadriel's Mirror with 'swimmies' on her arms and a rubber ducky floating around the small pool.

A/N:  Now come one everyone, say it with me:  "We love you Meghan!  Feel Better Soon!"