51. Pride

Sally glared at him, her normally vibrant blue eyes that radiated such warmth now icier than a glacier. Her jaw was taut, muscles stiff with tension. Lips that were normally curled into a bright smile were drooped into a frown that was heavy with the weight of her disappointment and anger. Shadow may be projecting an aloof demeanor but having her behave so coldly towards his heart feel like there were sharp daggers piercing it.

The silence between them was suffocating and oppressive with its heaviness, and Shadow desperately wished he could find the words to mend this chasm between them. After all, he had caused this mess and could only blame himself for the sticky situation he now found himself in. How did it all come down to this, he wondered. But he knew.

What he and Sally had with each other was complicated to him but seemed uncomplicated to her. She harbored romantic feelings for him. She loved him. She was in love with him, to be more precise, but he feared he fucked that up irreparably with his callousness. He harbored romantic feelings for her. He loved her. He was in love with her. But rather than admit this and be honest to them both, he acted cavalier instead.

When she chose to be brave, put her heart on the line to confess her feelings to him and asked if he felt the same, he denied what his heart wanted and broke her heart with a cruel indifference. He had seen her cry on numerous occasions, when the weight of the world got too heavy for her shoulders to carry, when she failed at something important, when the crown got to heavy for her head, when her loved ones got hurt. He had seen her cry for him, when he got hurt from a particularly dangerous mission from G.U.N. or when he was helping to save the world. He had never, ever seen her cry because of him, and the guilt he felt for causing her tears, her anguish, threatened to eat away at him.

She had run off before he could correct his horrible folly, and he was quick to run after her. She was quick to run into her bedroom, slamming the door so hard it was a wonder the walls didn't have cracks in the from the sheer force of it. He knocked on her door, repeatedly asking, begging her to let him in so they could talk. Understandably, she refused, embarrassed and heartbroken and furious at his behavior. It wasn't he threatened to rip her door clean off its hinges that she conceded and let him in, which lead them to where they were currently.

If looks could kill, Shadow was well-aware he'd be dead and six feet under by now. And he deserved her animosity, her venom, her hatred, but it didn't make it hurt any less. He hadn't planned on falling in love with her, felt like he lacked the time for romance, wasn't a worthy enough partner to anyone with all the baggage and trauma he carried. He didn't know he was falling until it was too late, and rather than listen to his heart and let her know that her feelings weren't one-sided and that he returned them wholeheartedly, his fucking pride got the best of him and he did what he did best: ruin shit.

"Why are you here, Shadow? It's not enough that you humiliated me and broke my heart?" And ouch, that hurt, no lie, and he couldn't stop himself from both grimacing and flinching from her coldness, her viciousness. Beneath that anger and armor was someone clearly hurting, and since he caused that hurt, it was up to him to mend that hurt, to take her pain away.

He took slow, cautious steps towards where she was standing, trying not to unintentionally provoke her or invade her space any more than he's already done. She watched him warily, arms crossed in front of her defensively, but she didn't tell him to fuck off, and he was eternally grateful that she still must've had some love for him if she was willing to hear him out. He now stood carefully in front of her, reaching for her. She let him ease her into his embrace, body rigid, but as he continued to hold her, she slowly relaxed, exhaling shakily. His fur was wet with tears, and he felt his own eyes water briefly. He could feel how hurt she was, and he vowed to never put her throw this kind of pain again. Fuck his pride. Fuck everything else. She was what mattered to him, and he'd be damned if he risked losing her again.

A/N: LONG TIME NO SEE, EVERYONE! Holy shit, I haven't updated this story since June 2019! It wasn't my intent to go on an almost 2-year hiatus, but a lot of stuff has happened in between then and now in my life that really sucked all the motivation, the creative joy out of me. I loved this story then, and I found that I still love it now, but I was feeling deeply uninspired by all the time and effort I put into writing and updating it, just to barely get a handful of reviews. I was genuinely tempted to delete it, and yeah, maybe that seems cowardly or childish, but as a writer, and a fanfic writer at that, I take my time and my energy into writing these stories and chapters. It'd be nice to get reviews on it, some kind of encouragement to keep going. And while I know it shouldn't matter how many reviews or comments my stories may get, at the end of the day, as a creator doing this for free, it'd be nice to know that other people like it. I think that's what every writer, regardless of the fandom or pairing, would tell you. We like feedback and reviews and comments. Kudos and follows and favorites only do so much and go so far, although I'm deeply thankful for all of those as well, make no mistake.

I've been through a lot, between my mental health spiraling and dealing with the deaths of two of my loved ones last year and this year, you can understand why my motivation to write has been pretty nonexistent. Oh yeah, and the fact we're dealing with a wholeass pandemic and the risk of catching covid-19 and getting sick or worse, it's a wonder I haven't quit writing altogether, and I did seriously contemplate that. But! Rereading my stories and reading all the lovely reviews really made my heart light up and reminded me why I love writing and write these stories. Someone out there is going to find them and enjoy them, and knowing I could make someone happy, however simple it may be to someone else, makes me genuinely happy, and for all of those who reviewed this story and my other stories and continue to do so, to new potential reviewers as well, I love you and thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart. You'll never know how deeply appreciative I am of it :D