========
Aino Minako and Her Amazingly Fabulous Search For A Boyfriend
A Minakofic
Authors: Moogle (moogle@fanforce.net)
Kate B (kateb@moonromance.com)
========
As always with creations like ours, this story is based on a universe that we did not create, and we do
not claim that we own it in the least. However, a few minor characters and the plot itself does belong to
us, so we'd appreciate that being left alone. And if you ARE the owner of this universe we have borrowed,
please don't sue us; the dream house we're planning for is going to cost a chunk of the money we don't yet have.
If you've clicked to read this second chapter, we'll assume that you're adult enough to handle the
material within. Nonetheless, we will rate it a nice PG-13, just in case you think your head may explode
upon reading anything over a G rating.
***
"A-ano, Minako-chan," whined a particularly fuzzy white cat that fateful Saturday afternoon from
his cat-carrier, peeking his head out of the lid as he glanced around the store, "I appreciate your
effort, but WHY do we have to spend so long in the lingerie section?"
His blonde companion, the amazingly fabulous Aino Minako, rolled her eyes and ignored him. It
had been a long two days since she had decided it was time for her to take affirmative action and make
her love life turn out like a romance novel...instead of like the Stephen King made-for-TV movie it
resembled. Of course, her first mission had gone terribly, terribly wrong, what with the demonic dogs,
the kind-hearted blind lady who did nothing more than freak her out a little, and the loss of her
favorite red bow to the bratty little girl in the street...
Minako smoothed her new banana-yellow bow and straightened her blouse. It didn't matter now,
no sirree.
"We are still in this section," she scolded the cat sternly, pushing him back into his basket
before she got kicked out of the department store, "because I need to find the perfect undergarments to
wear with my kickin' new outfit." She eyed a few various thongs and frowned. "You can't just wear a pair
of Hanes Her Way briefs to a dance club and expect to get away with it, you know."
Trying not to twitch, Artemis weaseled his head out of the basket a second time to glower up at
her with bright blue eyes. "Thank you for that unnecessary clarification," he grumbled, cringing as he
watched a middle-aged and EXTREMELY obese woman pick out a garter belt and matching... He didn't even
want to KNOW what the name of that garment was. "And WHEN are we going home?"
With a low growl, the young woman froze and rested her hands on her hips, glaring at the small
animal. "Now YOU listen to me," she told him in the most motherly tone she could muster...which happened
to be a rather loud tone. "You would NOT be attracted to Luna if she was wearing just ANY bra, and
thusly, no guy will be content with me until I have found the PERFECT undergarment myself."
The cat, noticing that a small crowd was starting to gather on the outskirts of the women's
underwear department, grimaced. "Mina-chan," he hissed in the softest voice possible, "you're drawing
attention to yourself again..."
"And ANOTHER thing!" she continued, beginning one of her patented tirades right there, in the
middle of the department store. "I don't CARE if you think my search for a boyfriend is futile, even
pointless. *I* think that it is the only way that I will become content and happy, because God knows
that ALL my friends have boyfriends and God knows that *I* certainly have exactly none!"
She clutched a hand to her chest, staring at the ceiling of the shop with starry eyes as she let
out the most pitiful sigh. "What world is a world where a young woman cannot have a boyfriend?" she
questioned, a single tear coursing down her cheek as she spoke. "It is a world of despair and I, Aino
Minako, will NOT be the cause of that eternal despair! Ai no megami, go forth!"
As Minako pointed a finger to the sky in a dramatic end-pose, the crowd she had attracted applauded
lightly. Murmurs of "that was beautiful" mixed with "what is wrong with her?" echoed through the store as
she slowly realized exactly what she had done.
And, that realized, she facevaulted.
Artemis sighed.
"Oh, boy."
***
Mission II: Clubbin'
***
Tokyo. It had and had always been a peaceful place, if you didn't count the occasional youma or
small gang of evil circus performers here and there. It was a city of sunshine and moonlight, of happiness
and contentment, and, of course, it was the city that a group of pretty sailor-suited heroines called the
Sailor Senshi called home.
On this particular content, happy, peaceful, and moonlit Saturday night in Tokyo, most all the pretty
sailor-suited senshi were at home, either spending a quiet evening with family or a...less quiet...evening
with their lovers, warm in the embraces of their loved ones. Most, but not all those senshi, though...
Because one of them had other plans.
Adjusting her brand-new, neon-green bow, Aino Minako appraised herself in her bedroom's full-length
mirror. After the incident at the department store, she had cut her shopping spree short and settled on the
bra and panties she already owned; after all, she didn't want people to ask her exactly WHY she was ranting
and raving in the middle of the underwear department, now did she?
Over those self-same undergarments, she wore probably one of the naughtiest outfits she owned and,
in her ever-so-humble opinion, she looked positively scandalous. A bright green mini-skirt, as tight as
tight could be, sat low on her hips and covered exactly what needed to be covered...and not an inch more.
A good three inches above that mini-skirt was the end of her short, tight, and VERY backless white top,
which was held on by only two wire-thin strips of lime-green fabric. The whole ensemble was completed by a
pair of white, high-heeled sandals that showed off -- what else? -- her lime-green toenails.
She gave herself the final once-over and smiled softly before working on applying the last touch:
a hint of pink lipstick to her soft, blush-colored lips. So intent was she on making sure she looked JUST
RIGHT, she failed to notice the visitor enter her bedroom...
Well, until he spoke and caused her to scribble lipstick all across her chin, of course.
"Did you just step out of a dirty manga or WHAT?" scolded Artemis, disdainful of his caretaker's
outfit. For years, he had considered Minako like a second daughter -- perhaps technically a first daughter,
for she was quite a few years older than Diana -- and a best friend, and there was something about seeing
her dressed so distastefully that caused his tail to fluff up and his fur to stand on end. "You look terrible."
Wiping the sticky makeup from her face, the blonde turned to glower at her pet. "You're a cat," she
reminded him coolly, annoyed with his sudden fatherly attitude. "What would you know about human beauty?"
He would have responded to her question had she not rolled her eyes and sighed. "I know, I know,
I know," she continued, shaking her head as she glanced at the animal out of the corner of her eye. "I'm
really a beautiful person and I have to remember that real beauty is within your liver, ne?"
For a moment, the cat grimaced at her mistake, and then nodded. "Hai," he agreed earnestly. "That
is where your true beauty is, Minako, which is why I STRONGLY suggest that -- "
"Excepting the fact that guys don't LOOK at your liver before they decide to date you," she retorted
knowingly, shaking a finger in his direction. "They look at your front, your behind, and SOMETIMES the color
of your hair. They judge the car by its hood!"
Artemis fought off a sweatdrop. "Book by its cover, Minako-chan," he corrected with a groan. Well, he
thought to himself, at least she came close that time.
She rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse off her bed. "I don't CARE which it is," she returned,
slinging the strap over her shoulder and checking her hair in the mirror one last time. "I am STILL going
clubbing and I am STILL going to pick up a guy! Ja!"
Before the cat could recover in the least, she had bolted out of the room and down the stairs like a
bolt of greased lightening.
Sighing, Artemis shook his head and moaned. "Where did I go wrong?"
***
Now, deciding which dance club to go to, at least for Aino Minako, had been a challenge worthy of a
medal. For eight hours, she had poured over the phone book, calling all over the city of Tokyo to find what
she termed "the ultimate club." Unfortunately for Minako, most clubs failed to keep tabs of how many hot guys
strode through their doors, and so her questions fell on mostly deaf ears. It had been dumb luck that a very
young woman had answered the phone at the last club she had called and had said, "Well, all the guys are pretty
hot, I'd have to say." The blonde had squealed in delight and hung up the phone...
Before getting reamed by her mother for not studying for her English test that was scheduled for the
next morning.
It was nearly nine p.m. when Aino Minako, having checked her make-up nine times during the cab ride
over, ended up in front of the enormous Zen'ya Disco; Zen'ya, of course, meaning "evening time." It was a
respectable-looking disco, full of bright lights, meandering young men and woman, and waitresses clad in less
clothing than Minako.
The blonde skimmed the crowd, discreetly peering out into the sea of bodies for any acceptable-looking
young man. She found very few fitting that description; most were with females, and those who weren't looked a
bit greasy, as though they hadn't showered since their last visit to the club, which had been circa 1992.
Sighing, she allowed herself to drift out of the throng of dancers and toward the bar.
"Tough night on the floor?" questioned the barkeep after he had poured her a lemonade, and she nodded
as she hoisted herself atop one of the vinyl-covered stools. He smiled with an understanding commiseration.
"Don't worry about it, chica," he soothed her with a coy wink. "It'll all look up."
Letting out a longer, more arduous sigh than before, the young blonde cupped her chin in a hand and
shook her head. "That's what YOU think, Mister," she returned, defeated as she sipped her drink through a
straw. "All the guys here are either creeps or taken. What's the point in living, hmm?"
The bartender frowned and eyed her curiously. "You're depressed because you're in a dance club filled
with creeps and taken men?" he asked, as though he had heard her wrong. "What do you think you'd find in any
other club, hmm? A whole lump of sexy young men without girlfriends?"
Minako's response was inevitable. "Akiraka na. It's not as though every attractive man on Earth is
completely and utterly taken!"
"No, but nice, well-meaning bishounen generally don't show up at dance clubs without their
girlfriend." He chewed on his lower lip as SOON as he saw her suddenly defeated expression. "And it certainly
seems like what you're craving is one uber-macho bishounen."
Glowering, the blonde slammed her glass down on the bar and raised her face to the sky. "I will
NOT give up on my clubbing mission!" she professed to the bright neon lights that sparkled above the bar.
"I will leave no club unturned, no dance floor undanced, until I have found the perfect man!"
The barkeep frowned. "'Undanced?'" he questioned, a bit confused.
But it was too late. Minako had already jetted out the door and onto the street.
***
Within the quieter parts of Tokyo, Juuban in particular, four young women who usually found themselves
being the companions of a certain blonde heroine, were instead gathered in their usual hangout spot - the
Crown Fruit Parlor - minus said blonde. While normally on a Saturday night they would have been together
with their respective boyfriends, on this particular evening they were gathered again to discuss the oddity
that had been their friend Minako of late.
"Wait a minute, Mako-chan, did you just say that Minako-chan is going to CLUBS?" asked the other blonde
in the group - none other than Tsukino Usagi - almost in disbelief.
"Yep, that's exactly it. She called me this afternoon, and said, 'Mako-chan, Aino Minako is going to hit
every last dance club in the city and find a boyfriend if it kills me!' I think she was serious," Makoto said
to the group with a smirk, although she would have denied it if anyone called her on it.
"Of course she was serious," added their Shinto companion with the same knowing smirk. "Have we ever
known Minako-chan to not be serious when she talks about doing crazy things?"
The blue-haired girl sitting across from Rei nodded thoughtfully. "But, Rei-chan, I think you know better
than any of us what people can do when they're desperate. Or did you forget Mamoru-san?"
Rei had the decency to blush, at least, when Usagi scowled and glared when the memory hit her.
"What I'm trying to say," continued Ami, "is that Minako-chan is the only single one of us now. And it's
not like there are any enemies to keep us all occupied. I don't think any of us can know what she feels like,
because never before have all but one of us had boyfriends. So..."
Usagi cut her off with a sudden exclamation of "Wait a minute!" All eyes turned to her and she paused for
a second before continuing in the same tone, "Are you saying that Minako-chan is going to try to steal one of
our boyfriends?"
Her three friends facevaulted so hard it was a wonder that the table did not snap on impact.
"NO!" they simultaneously cried, exasperated.
"Minako-chan is looking for a boyfriend who is SINGLE," Ami informed the blonde with a fake smile.
"She just doesn't want to be alone anymore, Usagi-chan," Makoto reminded her kindly. "I think you might
do the same if you were in her shoes."
Suddenly Usagi seemed to realize what was going on, a very rare thing for her. Finally having a clue, her
overflowing kindness took over. "What can we do about it? I would hate for Minako-chan to be sad if we can help
her."
A lightbulb flicked on inside of Rei's head and she grinned. "That's easy," she told the group. "We find
a boyfriend for her."
The others groaned at first, before she started giving them her plan, but as she explained more they
started to like it. Even though it would require a bit of sacrifice from each of them, they all knew it would
be worth it.
***
It was about three hours later that Aino Minako began to regret her vow to leave "no dance floor
undanced." While her friends were unbeknownst to her, potentially making progress towards finding her a
boyfriend, she was having no luck whatsoever.
"Aijin Odori," she gasped, nearly doubled over on the sidewalk as she gazed up at the yellow-lighted
sign above her head. She didn't need a watch to tell her that it was nearly midnight; 'Lover's Dances,' as
the name of the club translated into, was hopping with people, the bass so loud that it rattled the blonde's
wisdom teeth in the back of her mouth.
A small smirk crossed her face as she straightened up and checked her hair in the rearview mirror of
a Volkswagen. She had done it, and finally. She was on the final of the dance clubs in the Tokyo phone book...
Well, final if you go backwards, but allow us to overlook this small detail. Whatever the case, she felt
proud of herself as she started toward the door, her head held high and her lipstick perfectly in place.
After all, if she hadn't found love at the previous
seventy-eight clubs, maybe this final one wou --
"I'm sorry," barked a gruff voice, snapping her back to reality, "but your kind are not invited into
a well-respected establishment such as the Aijin Odori."
The blonde blinked twice before lowering her bright blue eyes at the bouncer. He was about two feet
taller than she, as well as three times heavier, and Minako was willing to bet that most of his girth was
muscle mass, NOT fat. Still, she glowered at him like there was no tomorrow, never pausing to think that,
if she started a fistfight with such a bouncer, there would BE no tomorrow.
"MY kind?" she questioned, confused, annoyed, and offended all at once. "You have some ban on hot
teenage girls or something?"
Her adversary was not amused. "No," he responded coolly, his dark eyes peering over darker sunglasses
at her. "We have a ban against baishunfu."
There was silence for a moment, as though the entire night had frozen. No sound echoed from within
the stone walls of the dance club, no car horns sounded in the distance, no human being dared to tread on
the concrete sidewalks. In essence, it was the calm before the storm. If what was to follow could be called
a storm.
"BAISHUNFU?!" roared Minako suddenly, her eyes glaring directly into the face of the bouncer as
she seized him by his suit coat. "You think I'm some sort of common-place, street-walking WHORE?"
Now, if Minako had, perhaps, taken a moment to glance at herself, she would have understood the
bouncer's very innocent mistake. Three hours of club-hopping had left her short-short skirt disheveled
and a bit dirty, and her pantyhose were now full of runs. Her tiny halter top had slipped a little TOO untied,
for it showed more of her chest than she probably would have liked to show, and her long hair was
knotted and messy. And, to add to the mess, she had reapplied her makeup so many times that it was caked
horribly to her face. She looked... Well, like a baishunfu, to be perfectly honest.
Of course, in Minako's MIND, she looked to be a perfectly respectable teenage girl...
Maybe a LITTLE bedraggled, but not too shabby. But this is Minako's mind that we are talking about, a
terrifying and dangerous place not to be reckoned with.
The bouncer did not back down. "I'm sorry, Miss," he addressed her stonily,
as though he was talking to a small child who was refusing to listen to all reason,
"but a policy is a policy. Now, if you would like to further press the matter,
I would be happy to see to it that you are taken to the police station down
the street."
For a moment, the blonde considered this, but she then realized that the
Tokyo police would probably make a similar mistake, a risk she was unwilling
to take. Sighing, she shook her head in dismay. "I'm leaving," she finally
told him, loosing her grip and starting back down the sidewalk. "But DAMNED if
I ever come back to this place."
Her adversary, the muscled bouncer, shrugged. "What a loony girl," he
said to no one in particular, watching as the young woman retreated into
the haze of midnight smoke and smog that was Tokyo.
***
Somewhere else, and no where in particular, a young man strode in through
the front door and shed his blazer onto the hallway floor.
"You wouldn't believe the kind of girls that were at this club, Grandma,"
he called to the little old lady that he knew would be waiting up for him
in the kitchen. The air smelled of freshly brewed tea and newly-baked cookies.
"They were all either taken or rather desperate!"
Chuckling, the little old lady listened as her grandson strode into her
kitchen and began to help himself to cookies and tea. "Which club did you
go to again, Asai-kun?" she questioned with a small smile.
He sighed and shook his head of dark hair. "That horrible Aijin Odori
place on Fifth and Main," he responded with a snarl, sipping the green tea his
grandmother had laid out for him. "It's such an absolute dump."
"Well, there's always that girl I spoke to the other day, the one with
the -- "
"No more talk of the girl with the dogs, Grandmother," sighed Asai with
a frown, glancing annoyedly at the older woman. "That's all you've talked
about for three or four days. The girl with the dogs and how nice she is. Get
off it."
The elderly one frowned and nodded. "Alright, Asai," she conceded with
a soft sigh. "But I still contend she was a good girl for you."
The boy rolled his eyes. There couldn't have really been a girl with the
dogs... could there?
***
"And THEN, after ALL that, they thought I was a baishunfu!" roared
Minako as she violently tossed her miniskirt at the wall. "Of ALL the people in
Tokyo, he thought that someone as PATHETICALLY single as I was a BAISHUNFU."
Artemis sighed. He had tried to be logical at the outset, but to
absolutely no avail; it seemed as though all his arguments had fallen on a pair
of deaf ears. And now, what was he hearing? Complaints. Complaints that
could have been avoided if not for --
"And that is why I will never go clubbing AGAIN!" Minako, pulling on her
pajama top, laid back on the bed and switched on her television set. "In
fact, I think I will just swear off men and -- "
She froze, staring at the TV set. The show coming on was a ridiculous
program called "Blind Date," where the participants were set up on a blind
date and then decided if they liked each other or not. A small smile crept across
the blonde's face as she watched the introduction to the show.
The cat nearly facevaulted. "No, Minako!" he snapped at her, diving to
turn off the television before the damage was done. "Don't even THINK it."
But it was too late. Her mind had been made up before the cat even realized
what was happened.
"I, Aino Minako, am going to be the next contestant on 'Blind Date!'" she
squealed right before scampering off to find the nearest telephone and call
the Tokyo TV station.
Artemis sighed and shook his head.
"Oh, boy."
***
We like e-mail, and we'll write if we get it. *hint hint* Not that we won't write anyway,
but we might write FASTER. Or something like that.
Next time, Minako goes on television's "Blind Date." A disaster or not?
You decide (well, no, we decide) as her amazingly fabulous search for a boyfriend continues!
-End
Aino Minako and Her Amazingly Fabulous Search For A Boyfriend
A Minakofic
Authors: Moogle (moogle@fanforce.net)
Kate B (kateb@moonromance.com)
========
As always with creations like ours, this story is based on a universe that we did not create, and we do
not claim that we own it in the least. However, a few minor characters and the plot itself does belong to
us, so we'd appreciate that being left alone. And if you ARE the owner of this universe we have borrowed,
please don't sue us; the dream house we're planning for is going to cost a chunk of the money we don't yet have.
If you've clicked to read this second chapter, we'll assume that you're adult enough to handle the
material within. Nonetheless, we will rate it a nice PG-13, just in case you think your head may explode
upon reading anything over a G rating.
***
"A-ano, Minako-chan," whined a particularly fuzzy white cat that fateful Saturday afternoon from
his cat-carrier, peeking his head out of the lid as he glanced around the store, "I appreciate your
effort, but WHY do we have to spend so long in the lingerie section?"
His blonde companion, the amazingly fabulous Aino Minako, rolled her eyes and ignored him. It
had been a long two days since she had decided it was time for her to take affirmative action and make
her love life turn out like a romance novel...instead of like the Stephen King made-for-TV movie it
resembled. Of course, her first mission had gone terribly, terribly wrong, what with the demonic dogs,
the kind-hearted blind lady who did nothing more than freak her out a little, and the loss of her
favorite red bow to the bratty little girl in the street...
Minako smoothed her new banana-yellow bow and straightened her blouse. It didn't matter now,
no sirree.
"We are still in this section," she scolded the cat sternly, pushing him back into his basket
before she got kicked out of the department store, "because I need to find the perfect undergarments to
wear with my kickin' new outfit." She eyed a few various thongs and frowned. "You can't just wear a pair
of Hanes Her Way briefs to a dance club and expect to get away with it, you know."
Trying not to twitch, Artemis weaseled his head out of the basket a second time to glower up at
her with bright blue eyes. "Thank you for that unnecessary clarification," he grumbled, cringing as he
watched a middle-aged and EXTREMELY obese woman pick out a garter belt and matching... He didn't even
want to KNOW what the name of that garment was. "And WHEN are we going home?"
With a low growl, the young woman froze and rested her hands on her hips, glaring at the small
animal. "Now YOU listen to me," she told him in the most motherly tone she could muster...which happened
to be a rather loud tone. "You would NOT be attracted to Luna if she was wearing just ANY bra, and
thusly, no guy will be content with me until I have found the PERFECT undergarment myself."
The cat, noticing that a small crowd was starting to gather on the outskirts of the women's
underwear department, grimaced. "Mina-chan," he hissed in the softest voice possible, "you're drawing
attention to yourself again..."
"And ANOTHER thing!" she continued, beginning one of her patented tirades right there, in the
middle of the department store. "I don't CARE if you think my search for a boyfriend is futile, even
pointless. *I* think that it is the only way that I will become content and happy, because God knows
that ALL my friends have boyfriends and God knows that *I* certainly have exactly none!"
She clutched a hand to her chest, staring at the ceiling of the shop with starry eyes as she let
out the most pitiful sigh. "What world is a world where a young woman cannot have a boyfriend?" she
questioned, a single tear coursing down her cheek as she spoke. "It is a world of despair and I, Aino
Minako, will NOT be the cause of that eternal despair! Ai no megami, go forth!"
As Minako pointed a finger to the sky in a dramatic end-pose, the crowd she had attracted applauded
lightly. Murmurs of "that was beautiful" mixed with "what is wrong with her?" echoed through the store as
she slowly realized exactly what she had done.
And, that realized, she facevaulted.
Artemis sighed.
"Oh, boy."
***
Mission II: Clubbin'
***
Tokyo. It had and had always been a peaceful place, if you didn't count the occasional youma or
small gang of evil circus performers here and there. It was a city of sunshine and moonlight, of happiness
and contentment, and, of course, it was the city that a group of pretty sailor-suited heroines called the
Sailor Senshi called home.
On this particular content, happy, peaceful, and moonlit Saturday night in Tokyo, most all the pretty
sailor-suited senshi were at home, either spending a quiet evening with family or a...less quiet...evening
with their lovers, warm in the embraces of their loved ones. Most, but not all those senshi, though...
Because one of them had other plans.
Adjusting her brand-new, neon-green bow, Aino Minako appraised herself in her bedroom's full-length
mirror. After the incident at the department store, she had cut her shopping spree short and settled on the
bra and panties she already owned; after all, she didn't want people to ask her exactly WHY she was ranting
and raving in the middle of the underwear department, now did she?
Over those self-same undergarments, she wore probably one of the naughtiest outfits she owned and,
in her ever-so-humble opinion, she looked positively scandalous. A bright green mini-skirt, as tight as
tight could be, sat low on her hips and covered exactly what needed to be covered...and not an inch more.
A good three inches above that mini-skirt was the end of her short, tight, and VERY backless white top,
which was held on by only two wire-thin strips of lime-green fabric. The whole ensemble was completed by a
pair of white, high-heeled sandals that showed off -- what else? -- her lime-green toenails.
She gave herself the final once-over and smiled softly before working on applying the last touch:
a hint of pink lipstick to her soft, blush-colored lips. So intent was she on making sure she looked JUST
RIGHT, she failed to notice the visitor enter her bedroom...
Well, until he spoke and caused her to scribble lipstick all across her chin, of course.
"Did you just step out of a dirty manga or WHAT?" scolded Artemis, disdainful of his caretaker's
outfit. For years, he had considered Minako like a second daughter -- perhaps technically a first daughter,
for she was quite a few years older than Diana -- and a best friend, and there was something about seeing
her dressed so distastefully that caused his tail to fluff up and his fur to stand on end. "You look terrible."
Wiping the sticky makeup from her face, the blonde turned to glower at her pet. "You're a cat," she
reminded him coolly, annoyed with his sudden fatherly attitude. "What would you know about human beauty?"
He would have responded to her question had she not rolled her eyes and sighed. "I know, I know,
I know," she continued, shaking her head as she glanced at the animal out of the corner of her eye. "I'm
really a beautiful person and I have to remember that real beauty is within your liver, ne?"
For a moment, the cat grimaced at her mistake, and then nodded. "Hai," he agreed earnestly. "That
is where your true beauty is, Minako, which is why I STRONGLY suggest that -- "
"Excepting the fact that guys don't LOOK at your liver before they decide to date you," she retorted
knowingly, shaking a finger in his direction. "They look at your front, your behind, and SOMETIMES the color
of your hair. They judge the car by its hood!"
Artemis fought off a sweatdrop. "Book by its cover, Minako-chan," he corrected with a groan. Well, he
thought to himself, at least she came close that time.
She rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse off her bed. "I don't CARE which it is," she returned,
slinging the strap over her shoulder and checking her hair in the mirror one last time. "I am STILL going
clubbing and I am STILL going to pick up a guy! Ja!"
Before the cat could recover in the least, she had bolted out of the room and down the stairs like a
bolt of greased lightening.
Sighing, Artemis shook his head and moaned. "Where did I go wrong?"
***
Now, deciding which dance club to go to, at least for Aino Minako, had been a challenge worthy of a
medal. For eight hours, she had poured over the phone book, calling all over the city of Tokyo to find what
she termed "the ultimate club." Unfortunately for Minako, most clubs failed to keep tabs of how many hot guys
strode through their doors, and so her questions fell on mostly deaf ears. It had been dumb luck that a very
young woman had answered the phone at the last club she had called and had said, "Well, all the guys are pretty
hot, I'd have to say." The blonde had squealed in delight and hung up the phone...
Before getting reamed by her mother for not studying for her English test that was scheduled for the
next morning.
It was nearly nine p.m. when Aino Minako, having checked her make-up nine times during the cab ride
over, ended up in front of the enormous Zen'ya Disco; Zen'ya, of course, meaning "evening time." It was a
respectable-looking disco, full of bright lights, meandering young men and woman, and waitresses clad in less
clothing than Minako.
The blonde skimmed the crowd, discreetly peering out into the sea of bodies for any acceptable-looking
young man. She found very few fitting that description; most were with females, and those who weren't looked a
bit greasy, as though they hadn't showered since their last visit to the club, which had been circa 1992.
Sighing, she allowed herself to drift out of the throng of dancers and toward the bar.
"Tough night on the floor?" questioned the barkeep after he had poured her a lemonade, and she nodded
as she hoisted herself atop one of the vinyl-covered stools. He smiled with an understanding commiseration.
"Don't worry about it, chica," he soothed her with a coy wink. "It'll all look up."
Letting out a longer, more arduous sigh than before, the young blonde cupped her chin in a hand and
shook her head. "That's what YOU think, Mister," she returned, defeated as she sipped her drink through a
straw. "All the guys here are either creeps or taken. What's the point in living, hmm?"
The bartender frowned and eyed her curiously. "You're depressed because you're in a dance club filled
with creeps and taken men?" he asked, as though he had heard her wrong. "What do you think you'd find in any
other club, hmm? A whole lump of sexy young men without girlfriends?"
Minako's response was inevitable. "Akiraka na. It's not as though every attractive man on Earth is
completely and utterly taken!"
"No, but nice, well-meaning bishounen generally don't show up at dance clubs without their
girlfriend." He chewed on his lower lip as SOON as he saw her suddenly defeated expression. "And it certainly
seems like what you're craving is one uber-macho bishounen."
Glowering, the blonde slammed her glass down on the bar and raised her face to the sky. "I will
NOT give up on my clubbing mission!" she professed to the bright neon lights that sparkled above the bar.
"I will leave no club unturned, no dance floor undanced, until I have found the perfect man!"
The barkeep frowned. "'Undanced?'" he questioned, a bit confused.
But it was too late. Minako had already jetted out the door and onto the street.
***
Within the quieter parts of Tokyo, Juuban in particular, four young women who usually found themselves
being the companions of a certain blonde heroine, were instead gathered in their usual hangout spot - the
Crown Fruit Parlor - minus said blonde. While normally on a Saturday night they would have been together
with their respective boyfriends, on this particular evening they were gathered again to discuss the oddity
that had been their friend Minako of late.
"Wait a minute, Mako-chan, did you just say that Minako-chan is going to CLUBS?" asked the other blonde
in the group - none other than Tsukino Usagi - almost in disbelief.
"Yep, that's exactly it. She called me this afternoon, and said, 'Mako-chan, Aino Minako is going to hit
every last dance club in the city and find a boyfriend if it kills me!' I think she was serious," Makoto said
to the group with a smirk, although she would have denied it if anyone called her on it.
"Of course she was serious," added their Shinto companion with the same knowing smirk. "Have we ever
known Minako-chan to not be serious when she talks about doing crazy things?"
The blue-haired girl sitting across from Rei nodded thoughtfully. "But, Rei-chan, I think you know better
than any of us what people can do when they're desperate. Or did you forget Mamoru-san?"
Rei had the decency to blush, at least, when Usagi scowled and glared when the memory hit her.
"What I'm trying to say," continued Ami, "is that Minako-chan is the only single one of us now. And it's
not like there are any enemies to keep us all occupied. I don't think any of us can know what she feels like,
because never before have all but one of us had boyfriends. So..."
Usagi cut her off with a sudden exclamation of "Wait a minute!" All eyes turned to her and she paused for
a second before continuing in the same tone, "Are you saying that Minako-chan is going to try to steal one of
our boyfriends?"
Her three friends facevaulted so hard it was a wonder that the table did not snap on impact.
"NO!" they simultaneously cried, exasperated.
"Minako-chan is looking for a boyfriend who is SINGLE," Ami informed the blonde with a fake smile.
"She just doesn't want to be alone anymore, Usagi-chan," Makoto reminded her kindly. "I think you might
do the same if you were in her shoes."
Suddenly Usagi seemed to realize what was going on, a very rare thing for her. Finally having a clue, her
overflowing kindness took over. "What can we do about it? I would hate for Minako-chan to be sad if we can help
her."
A lightbulb flicked on inside of Rei's head and she grinned. "That's easy," she told the group. "We find
a boyfriend for her."
The others groaned at first, before she started giving them her plan, but as she explained more they
started to like it. Even though it would require a bit of sacrifice from each of them, they all knew it would
be worth it.
***
It was about three hours later that Aino Minako began to regret her vow to leave "no dance floor
undanced." While her friends were unbeknownst to her, potentially making progress towards finding her a
boyfriend, she was having no luck whatsoever.
"Aijin Odori," she gasped, nearly doubled over on the sidewalk as she gazed up at the yellow-lighted
sign above her head. She didn't need a watch to tell her that it was nearly midnight; 'Lover's Dances,' as
the name of the club translated into, was hopping with people, the bass so loud that it rattled the blonde's
wisdom teeth in the back of her mouth.
A small smirk crossed her face as she straightened up and checked her hair in the rearview mirror of
a Volkswagen. She had done it, and finally. She was on the final of the dance clubs in the Tokyo phone book...
Well, final if you go backwards, but allow us to overlook this small detail. Whatever the case, she felt
proud of herself as she started toward the door, her head held high and her lipstick perfectly in place.
After all, if she hadn't found love at the previous
seventy-eight clubs, maybe this final one wou --
"I'm sorry," barked a gruff voice, snapping her back to reality, "but your kind are not invited into
a well-respected establishment such as the Aijin Odori."
The blonde blinked twice before lowering her bright blue eyes at the bouncer. He was about two feet
taller than she, as well as three times heavier, and Minako was willing to bet that most of his girth was
muscle mass, NOT fat. Still, she glowered at him like there was no tomorrow, never pausing to think that,
if she started a fistfight with such a bouncer, there would BE no tomorrow.
"MY kind?" she questioned, confused, annoyed, and offended all at once. "You have some ban on hot
teenage girls or something?"
Her adversary was not amused. "No," he responded coolly, his dark eyes peering over darker sunglasses
at her. "We have a ban against baishunfu."
There was silence for a moment, as though the entire night had frozen. No sound echoed from within
the stone walls of the dance club, no car horns sounded in the distance, no human being dared to tread on
the concrete sidewalks. In essence, it was the calm before the storm. If what was to follow could be called
a storm.
"BAISHUNFU?!" roared Minako suddenly, her eyes glaring directly into the face of the bouncer as
she seized him by his suit coat. "You think I'm some sort of common-place, street-walking WHORE?"
Now, if Minako had, perhaps, taken a moment to glance at herself, she would have understood the
bouncer's very innocent mistake. Three hours of club-hopping had left her short-short skirt disheveled
and a bit dirty, and her pantyhose were now full of runs. Her tiny halter top had slipped a little TOO untied,
for it showed more of her chest than she probably would have liked to show, and her long hair was
knotted and messy. And, to add to the mess, she had reapplied her makeup so many times that it was caked
horribly to her face. She looked... Well, like a baishunfu, to be perfectly honest.
Of course, in Minako's MIND, she looked to be a perfectly respectable teenage girl...
Maybe a LITTLE bedraggled, but not too shabby. But this is Minako's mind that we are talking about, a
terrifying and dangerous place not to be reckoned with.
The bouncer did not back down. "I'm sorry, Miss," he addressed her stonily,
as though he was talking to a small child who was refusing to listen to all reason,
"but a policy is a policy. Now, if you would like to further press the matter,
I would be happy to see to it that you are taken to the police station down
the street."
For a moment, the blonde considered this, but she then realized that the
Tokyo police would probably make a similar mistake, a risk she was unwilling
to take. Sighing, she shook her head in dismay. "I'm leaving," she finally
told him, loosing her grip and starting back down the sidewalk. "But DAMNED if
I ever come back to this place."
Her adversary, the muscled bouncer, shrugged. "What a loony girl," he
said to no one in particular, watching as the young woman retreated into
the haze of midnight smoke and smog that was Tokyo.
***
Somewhere else, and no where in particular, a young man strode in through
the front door and shed his blazer onto the hallway floor.
"You wouldn't believe the kind of girls that were at this club, Grandma,"
he called to the little old lady that he knew would be waiting up for him
in the kitchen. The air smelled of freshly brewed tea and newly-baked cookies.
"They were all either taken or rather desperate!"
Chuckling, the little old lady listened as her grandson strode into her
kitchen and began to help himself to cookies and tea. "Which club did you
go to again, Asai-kun?" she questioned with a small smile.
He sighed and shook his head of dark hair. "That horrible Aijin Odori
place on Fifth and Main," he responded with a snarl, sipping the green tea his
grandmother had laid out for him. "It's such an absolute dump."
"Well, there's always that girl I spoke to the other day, the one with
the -- "
"No more talk of the girl with the dogs, Grandmother," sighed Asai with
a frown, glancing annoyedly at the older woman. "That's all you've talked
about for three or four days. The girl with the dogs and how nice she is. Get
off it."
The elderly one frowned and nodded. "Alright, Asai," she conceded with
a soft sigh. "But I still contend she was a good girl for you."
The boy rolled his eyes. There couldn't have really been a girl with the
dogs... could there?
***
"And THEN, after ALL that, they thought I was a baishunfu!" roared
Minako as she violently tossed her miniskirt at the wall. "Of ALL the people in
Tokyo, he thought that someone as PATHETICALLY single as I was a BAISHUNFU."
Artemis sighed. He had tried to be logical at the outset, but to
absolutely no avail; it seemed as though all his arguments had fallen on a pair
of deaf ears. And now, what was he hearing? Complaints. Complaints that
could have been avoided if not for --
"And that is why I will never go clubbing AGAIN!" Minako, pulling on her
pajama top, laid back on the bed and switched on her television set. "In
fact, I think I will just swear off men and -- "
She froze, staring at the TV set. The show coming on was a ridiculous
program called "Blind Date," where the participants were set up on a blind
date and then decided if they liked each other or not. A small smile crept across
the blonde's face as she watched the introduction to the show.
The cat nearly facevaulted. "No, Minako!" he snapped at her, diving to
turn off the television before the damage was done. "Don't even THINK it."
But it was too late. Her mind had been made up before the cat even realized
what was happened.
"I, Aino Minako, am going to be the next contestant on 'Blind Date!'" she
squealed right before scampering off to find the nearest telephone and call
the Tokyo TV station.
Artemis sighed and shook his head.
"Oh, boy."
***
We like e-mail, and we'll write if we get it. *hint hint* Not that we won't write anyway,
but we might write FASTER. Or something like that.
Next time, Minako goes on television's "Blind Date." A disaster or not?
You decide (well, no, we decide) as her amazingly fabulous search for a boyfriend continues!
-End