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Aino Minako and Her Amazingly Fabulous Search For A Boyfriend
A Minakofic
Authors: Moogle (moogle@fanforce.net)
Kate B (kateb@moonromance.com)
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We claim ownership over nothing here. But please don't steal our
ideas, you have no idea how long it took to become so insane to
think of ideas like this!
As always, this is probably like a PG-13. Just to be safe.
Well-watched otaku will recognize the borrowed character in this chapter.
Cheers to you if you can spot the reference.
Oh yeah, and this chapter is kinda long. Oops? ^^;
***
Artemis had known his charge for years now, so he was fairly sure
that he had a good judge of when Minako's crazy schemes would actually
be acted upon, and when they would just blow up in her face, fizzle out
without ever coming to fruition, or otherwise fail. And using this sixth
sense of sorts, he was absolutely positive that there was no way the tape
Minako sent in to the producers of Blind Date would get her put on the show.
***
PRODUCTION ROOM OF TV'S BLIND DATE
TWO DAYS EARLIER
The stacks of papers and video tapes were all piled high on the single table
that was in the middle of the room. Each of the casting directors was tired
of being there, tired of looking at tapes and applications, and just generally
tired.
"Okay, everyone, this is the last one we're looking at today," said the lead
director as he picked up a tape and an application form. "This next one is Aino
Minako. She's 16, and she says that she wants to be an idol and still loves
Sailor V."
A few of them groaned, a few of them sighed, and a few of them stared blankly
at the screen. Maybe, just maybe, this Aino Minako would be the one that would
let them stop this insanity, they all were thinking.
The director popped Minako's tape into the projector and sat back to see
what would come of this one.
Onto the screen popped a smiling Minako, dressed in her uniform from the
volleyball team and holding onto a volleyball to match.
"Hi!" she said cheerfully to the camera. "I'm Aino Minako, age 16! I'm a 10th year
student at Juuban High School right in Juuban! I like to sing and dance and - oh! Play
volleyball too!" Minako tossed the ball up like she was going to spike it.
"No, wait, Minako-chan, the camera-" a voice pleaded from off-screen, but it was
too late already.
The blonde spiked the ball and it flew straight at the camera, slamming into it
right at the lens. The tripod fell back and clattered against the ground, but the camera
continued to run, showing the volleyball laying in front of it on the floor and Minako's
long legs in the background.
"Oh, Ami-chan, are you okay?" She called out as she ran towards her friend to see
if Ami was hurt.
"No, wait, Minako-chan," Ami started, "the volleyball-"
But she didn't have enough time to finish, as her blonde friend slipped on the
volleyball and landed straight on her butt right in front of the fallen camera.
In the production room, all of the directors were laughing harder than they had
laughed in weeks, maybe even months. How could they not have such an obvious disaster
area on the show? The ratings would be great!
"Aino Minako," said the lead director as he caught his breath, "welcome to TV's
Blind Date!"
***
THE AINO HOUSEHOLD
PRESENT TIME
"No," Artemis said aloud, "there's no way this would ever work." He was sure of it,
as sure as he'd ever been of anything in his entire life. Minako was just too... well,
Minako, to ever be on that show.
And right as he finished that thought, the front door of the house kicked open and
there stood Minako, proudly holding a letter in her right hand, with what looked like joyous
tears streaming down both of her cheeks.
"YES!" she screamed. "AINO MINAKO IS APPEARING ON TV'S BLIND DATE IN THREE DAYS!"
She dashed straight up the steps to her room, where she shut the door and started
getting herself ready for her first TV appearance since her Sailor V days.
In the meantime, Artemis sat by the front door, staring outside in plain shock.
Eventually he recovered.
But only long enough to say, "Oh, boy."
***
Mission III: TV's Blind Date
***
COUNTDOWN: T-MINUS TWO DAYS
Knowing better than to try to disrupt Minako's karma in the frantic days leading up
to her appearance on the game show "TV's Blind Date", her four good friends decided that
they would just rather celebrate for her by doing what they seemed to be doing a lot of
late, that being sitting around in the air-conditioned Crown Arcade and having a drink.
"She really is going to be on that stupid show, isn't she?" Rei asked the assembled
females.
"It sounded like she was serious about it when I talked to her," Makoto put in, as
she gave her head a shake at all of the disastrous possibilities that could result.
"I'm sure she'll have a lot of fun doing it," Ami said with a chuckle. "It's not
like she should be able to complain, she comes out of it with a date no matter what."
The blonde among them, epitome of perceptiveness that she was, gasped suddenly and
called out, "But wait a minute... why would Minako-chan want to get a date from a guy on
TV?"
As was becoming a trend, the other three fell over straight to the floor with a loud
crash, although amazingly their drinks did not spill.
"Usagi-chan... think about it," pleaded Rei, though she already knew well it would
do little good.
"Minako-chan wants a boyfriend," the brunette added, also knowing it was going to be
futile.
"And if the guy she takes on a date likes her, she'll have a boyfriend," Ami
continued.
"Oh." Usagi paused and blinked innocently. "But why is she trying to find a date on
TV if we're finding her a date?"
"Because she doesn't KNOW we're trying to find her a date, remember?" Rei said as
she gritted her teeth in annoyance.
"And if she finds out then it won't be a surprise."
"So you WON'T tell her, got it?"
"Okay, okay, I've got it... but, you're not going to set her up with my Mamo-chan,
are you?"
This time the other three fell to the floor so hard it was a wonder that they didn't
go right through it. Usagi just stared at them and shrugged.
***
Across the street from the whirlwind that was Minako's house, two people sat and
talked about a similar subject that had caused Minako's fury. One was quite aware of the
situation Minako was in, and the other was, as always, completely oblivious.
"Can you believe it, Grandma? I'm going to be on TV!" shouted a young man who was as
excited as one would think before a first appearance on television.
"I am so proud of you, Asai-kun. But what is it you're going to do on TV?" The
elderly woman knew already, of course, because being a grandmother and blind, she had a
sense of perception that was envied by all who knew about it (which numbered zero, of
course, because she also knew how to pretend to be oblivious.)
Not like her grandson could have noticed anyway, of course, as he was far too
excited. "I get to go on the show with two other guys, and we'll have to try to answer
questions from a girl, and at the end she picks one of us and we go on a date."
"Hmm... and what if you aren't the one she picks?"
Suddenly Asai's face froze, because he hadn't given that one much thought. "I don't
know." But, he recovered into a cocky smile quickly. "But it doesn't matter, I'm sure she'll
pick me!"
"It's good to be so sure of yourself, Asai-kun," said the old woman, her voice
dripping with sarcasm.
Which, of course, was completely missed by the young man. "I know, isn't it?"
Not that his grandmother could sigh and let on that she knew more than she did. "I
still wish you'd let me introduce you to this lovely young lady, Asai-kun..."
"Maybe," he replied. "If this TV thing doesn't work out." Asai didn't actually
believe that the girl with the dogs existed, but it couldn't hurt to hedge his bets a bit.
"She's coming over in a little while, if you want to wait."
"Nah, Grandma, later maybe." He looked around and blushed. "Actually, I need to go
now, I have to get ready for my big TV appearance!"
The old lady sighed, then nodded her head. "Okay, Asai-kun... if you say so." As
she waved good-bye to the direction she was fairly sure that her grandson was in, she
thought to herself, 'Kids these days sure aren't making it easy to be the old matchmaking
grandmother...' Then she grinned as she remembered the trouble she put her own grandmother
through, and decided that maybe she didn't have it too tough after all.
***
Not surprisingly, the Aino household was a flurry of activity. This wasn't entirely
due to Minako's pending appearance on television - well, yes it was. Of course, seeing as
how she was Minako, there were a lot of things that needed to be done and re-done before she
could even fully prepare to be on TV. Her hair needed to be washed, straightened, washed
again, dried, and brushed thoroughly. Then there were her clothes. Every outfit she owned
had to be washed and dried, because they all had to be perfectly clean for her to choose
which outfit she would wear on the show. In the same fashion her shoes had to be organized
so she could see all of them once she picked out the outfit.
On top of all of that, she had previously agreed to go visit the old lady across the
street today. Looking back on it, she decided that was quite a poor decision to make.
"Then again," she told herself as she ran the hair dryer, "hindsight is always
blind."
The white cat at her side sighed. "Minako-chan, that's 'hindsight is always 20/20.'"
"That's what I said!" The blonde-haired girl grinned at him and flashed her
trademark V-sign at Artemis with her free hand.
The cat fell off the bed and landed on the floor.
"What?" Minako blinked innocently as she stared in wonder at the cat.
"Nothing, Minako-chan... it's nothing." Artemis told her with another sigh.
She giggled. "Silly Artemis!" As she shut off the blowdryer she admonished the cat
with a finger. "Then why make a big deal out of it?"
Rather than risk injury to his body, the moon cat opted to leave Minako to her
inner blonde. He wandered out of the house, since nobody was really paying attention to him.
Without thinking twice she shrugged and started to brush her hair, letting her mind
wonder about the kind of guy she might meet and go on a date with from the show.
"I bet that he'll be tall and handsome, and have curly hair that I can run my hands
through, and eyes I could get lost in..." A dreamy sigh. "A total bishounen... except
nobody will think he's gay. Or maybe he'll be the strong, silent type! With big, strong
arms, and solid like a tree trunk, and he can whisk me off of my feet..."
She snapped out of it eventually, once she realized that her mom had popped in and
out of the room twice with two complete loads of laundry and that her hair probably wasn't
going to get any better than it was.
Her head strayed to look out the window and she then noticed that the sun was moving
along in the sky and she had to rush across the street if she was going to keep her promised
meeting with the loony elderly woman.
With her hair dried and brushed, all she had to do was get dressed. In a way that
almost pained her because it took away one of her options of something to wear when she went
on the show, but rather than agonize over it she just picked an outfit quickly, hoping that
it wouldn't be one she'd want to wear on TV.
The method worked out nicely, as she picked out a nice outfit, but not nearly skimpy
enough for cameras to shine on her. Of course, it never occurred to her that she was going
to visit a blind woman who didn't care what she looked like.
Throwing on her shoes, she called back upstairs, "Mom, going across to the old bag's
place!" And with that she ran outside, not hearing her mom's plea to respect her elders.
The sights were familiar. Car in driveway, tree in front yard, fence, Artemis in
front of the fence, sidewalk...
"Wait a minute, what are you doing out here?" she demanded suddenly as she realized
that Artemis didn't belong in the picture.
"I went for a walk," replied the cat nonchalantly as he strolled past her and back
inside. If she didn't know any better she'd have sworn that there was a smirk on his face,
but no, she was sure the cat wasn't that diabolical.
Shrugging, she put the thought out of sight and out of mind like only she could, and
she bounced happily across the street towards the old woman's house.
To her surprise she found the old woman waiting outside already.
"Hi!" Minako called out in her most kawaii, sing-song voice, so the older woman knew
she was approaching.
"Minako-chan! I am glad that you could make it even though you're going to be on TV
in a couple of days," replied the grandmother.
"Yeah, well, some things are more important than getting ready for TV," the blonde
told her with a smile.
The woman smiled back. "You know, I was just outside here talking to the young man
from a few days ago, and my grandson was here a little earlier..."
"Thanks, but no thanks... Aino Minako is getting the hook-up on TV's Blind Date! No
female has ever left without getting a boyfriend!"
"If you say so, Minako-chan. Should we go inside?"
Minako nodded, and the old woman led her inside of her house.
Before she knew it, she'd talked away the rest of the day in idle chatter with the
woman, and it was time for her to head back home to get ready to sleep and have her last
hectic day before the much-awaited TV appearance.
***
COUNTDOWN: T-MINUS ONE DAY
Early that morning, before most people in Tokyo were even awake, a meeting took
place in an alley between two conspirators that nobody could bring themselves to suspect.
"Word on the street has it they're looking to find her a boyfriend," said Artemis
from the shadows.
"Artemis! Stop the cloak and dagger nonsense, nobody will expect us to be here, and
we don't need to be secretive!" Despite being a cat, Luna managed to strike a pose much like
a mother putting her hands on her hips to scold a child.
"Right, right, sorry..." A sweatdrop appeared on the back of the white cat's head.
"But yes, they are looking. How did you find out?"
"I've got my sources."
The black cat rolled her eyes and muttered, "Yare yare..."
"What? I'm serious!"
A sigh. "I don't really care how you found out, anyway... are you saying you can
help?"
"Maybe... who's asking?" A mischievous gleam appeared in Artemis' eyes.
Luna batted at him with a paw. She was getting frustrated at his antics, but then,
he always was this way. "I am, baka! Now, spit it out."
Artemis grinned, as much as a cat can grin, anyway. He was thoroughly enjoying
himself at Luna's expense, and that was always good. "Two things I know to be true. One,
there is no difference between good flam and bad flam." The grin broadened as Luna glared
daggers at him. "Two, it would benefit them to check across the street from Minako's."
"You mean that old woman Makoto mentioned...?"
"That's the one!" With that the white cat turned to leave.
"Wait a minute, what about her?"
"You'll just have to figure that out on your own, won't you?"
"Urgh!" The black cat felt like punching a wall, she was getting so frustrated.
Naturally this made Artemis all the more amused. "Fine, then, be that way."
"I will!" Artemis called back with a laugh as he scampered off.
Shaking her head, Luna headed off in the opposite direction.
Next to where they were sitting, a figure that had been previously still sat up
suddenly and rubbed a hand about his disheveled face. "Oi," he swore to himself, "Zenjirou,
what did you do to yourself this time? No more sake after shoots, I swear..." And then the
figure fell down again.
***
A little bit later, though not much later as it was still early in the morning, the
white cat made his way back to the Aino household, taking the path he'd taken many times
before as he hopped up the tree and onto the windowsill of Minako's room.
On a normal day, she wouldn't even register his re-entry into the room.
Unfortunately, the day was anything but a normal day, as the next day was the TV
appearance.
Minako's eyes opened as soon as she heard the sound. Within the blink of an eye she
sat up and glared over at the clock next to her bed and exploded in a flurry of activity
much resembling Usagi.
"Oh my God, it's nine in the morning, I've only got twelve hours to do things before
stores close, and I still have to pick out an outfit, and what if I have to buy shoes? I
have to call the other girls and have them help, but what if they're not home, and even if
they are I have to eat three meals too, or else I won't have my energy, and then I might
pass out on the show, and what if that happens? That would be bad, and..."
She flew about the room as she rambled, not even caring that Artemis was there
as she changed her clothes and brushed out her hair, ran to the bathroom and brushed her
teeth.
Artemis could only contain his amusement because he knew that if he didn't, she
would somehow notice him and smite him out the window. It hadn't happened yet, but that was
because he was always careful about things.
It wasn't even ten minutes later that she came back into the room, wheezing and
panting and clutching a portable phone in her hand. She'd finished with herself, ate, and
called the other four Inner Senshi and told them to come over to help her pick things out.
She looked at him curiously. "If you were going to go through everything you own to
figure out what you'd wear, how would you do it?"
"Uh, Minako-chan, I don't wear-"
"I guess I could have them wait downstairs and I'll keep coming upstairs and
changing..." the blonde continued as though he hadn't said anything.
"Minako-chan, I'm not even a girl-"
"How long do you think this'll take? I wonder..."
This time Artemis chose not to even bother responding.
"Hey, are you listening to me?" Minako demanded as she walked towards him and thrust
a finger in his face. "These are important decisions, you know!"
"Why don't you let the others decide what you should do?" he offered.
A second later, she nodded. "Aha! I'll just let the others decide. I am such a
genius!" With a grin she winked at her cat so the joke was apparent.
The white cat looked stupified for a brief moment, amazed that Minako was able to
make a joke correctly, but he recovered and winked back.
As Minako wandered off again, Artemis decided that next time when he was finished
discussing top secret plans involving his charge, he would just wait outside until he was
sure that she was awake. Luna had probably not been home for long when the call came to
Usagi, so whatever the others might do with the information he'd passed on, they probably
hadn't had time to do anything about it yet.
"Then again," he muttered to himself, "I guess if Minako really is going to change
so often..."
He shook his head, scolding himself for worrying about something so petty, while at
the same time still being curious as to what the others were going to be able to do. As he
spent most of the time with Minako, he was as aware as anyone of how lonely she was. He
hoped the TV thing would work out, otherwise she'd be crushed.
"What are you staring at?" she asked as she came back in to find the cat looking
intently at the wall.
"Oh, nothing, just thinking," he said, deadpan.
"About what?"
"Nothing."
Minako sighed and shook her head, causing her hair to bounce back and forth.
"Artemis, you're such a male."
***
Tap-tap-tap!
From her seat on the steps, Minako heard her front door knocking.
"Come on in!" called out the Senshi of Love cheerfully.
The door opened slowly, revealing her four friends and Luna standing there. She
blinked at the sight. "Do you guys ever go anywhere without one another?"
The four looked at one another, then shrugged.
"Not really."
Silently, Minako resolved to herself yet again to get a boyfriend, because then she
would be part of the gang again, and not some second-rate girl who can't even get a
boyfriend no matter how hard she tries! (In typical Minako style, reality was so far off
in the distance that it could only barely be seen.)
"We're glad you invited us here, Minako-chan," Usagi declared as the group headed
inside to take seats in the living room.
"Yeah! We want to help however we can before you go on TV," Makoto added.
"If you don't look good, WE don't look good." Rei nodded for emphasis, then blinked
as she thought about it, and scowled, daring anyone to challenge her.
Ami didn't, of course. "I'm sure it's exciting to get to be on TV again," she
offered. "I wish I could be on TV. Not to find a boyfriend of course, but...
oh, I'm sorry, Minako-chan, I didn't mean to..."
For a brief second, Minako's face looked sad, but she twisted it into a smile for
the sake of her blue-haired friend. "No, no, it's okay, Ami-chan. That's why I get to be on
TV in the first place. Isn't it?"
From her perch on Usagi's shoulder, Luna cleared her throat. "So, do you know who
the three bachelors are going to be beforehand?"
"I don't even get to know their names until afterwards!" The blonde shrugged. "I
guess that's just in case the contestant knows any of the bachelors."
Usagi's eyes lit up. "Hey, maybe we can watch on TV and talk to you during breaks
with our comm-"
The white cat striding down the stairs cut her off. "I don't think that will be
necessary, Usagi. It would defeat the purpose of the 'blind date', after all... wouldn't
it?"
To herself, Luna noted that Artemis sounded like he knew more than he was letting
on, although this was probably lost on everyone who didn't meet with him that morning.
"Yes, that is true, Artemis. I'm sure Minako will make out just fine."
"Making out isn't part of the show, Luna! That's what I'll do on the date after!"
CRASH!
Everyone who wasn't Minako vaulted to the floor.
"Er... what I meant to say was... uh..." She blushed and fiddled with her thumbs as
she tried to continue.
"Let's just get started with helping Minako-chan pick out her outfit, ne?" The
suggestion was Ami's, because she though she liked Minako a lot, she didn't feel like
spending her entire day indulging the love Senshi's insanity.
"Right! Because time is a virtue!" Minako exclaimed, with all confidence that she
had the correct saying. Her response was six groans. "What? Was it something I said?"
The reply was simultaneous. "Never mind, Minako-chan."
***
Elsewhere in Tokyo, a meeting mandated by the traditions of the TV's Blind Date show
was taking place between the three males who would be the contestants on the game the next
day.
Apparently, ever since they had that streaker back in the third episode, the
producers decided it would be best to meet with the male contestants before each show to
make sure they understood the rules and the regulations, what was okay to do and what
wasn't okay to do, and to make sure that they wouldn't try and kill one another on the
show, like what happened three months ago when they tried to have twins be the female
contestants and the one guy who didn't get picked flipped out.
Needless to say, the producers didn't try THAT stunt again.
Asai grinned in amusement as he read over some of the stuff in the packet they had
handed to him when he came. He'd watched the show before, but he never realized that so many
bloopers could occur.
The two other guys who were going to be on the show with him seemed nice enough. One
was a bookish type, and he was only on there because his friends bet him that he couldn't
make it onto the show if he tried. Asai supposed that probably wasn't the best of reasons to
audition, but as he thought about it, for a hundred-thousand yen he'd sure give it a shot.
The nerdy guy's name was Tsubasa, and though at first it seemed like he might do something
outrageous, really he was just there for the same reason as Asai, for a shot at a date with
a nice girl, and both of them could respect that.
It never occurred to Asai that the girl they would put on might be a complete and
total bitch, but lucky for him that wasn't going to be a problem.
On the other end of the spectrum was the second guy, who insisted that everyone
refer to him as "Tama" because he was "too cool" for his real name. From what he said about
himself, he played football - the weird American version - and he was built like it. The guy
was tall for someone from Japan, and muscular. He said he was there because he was sure the
girl would be a cheerleader who would fall into his arms and give him whatever he wanted.
Asai wanted to punch the guy in the face, but then he'd lose his shot at the mystery
girl, which wouldn't do at all, so he promised himself that he would tolerate the punk.
The producer was saying something to them, so he looked up from the packet and
paid attention.
"We can't tell you what the actual questions are, because that would ruin the
surprise, but if you come with me, we'll sit out in the studio how you'll be tomorrow and
run through a couple of mock questions. Okay?"
The volleyball player and Tsubasa nodded their acquiescence.
"I don't see why we're bothering, it's obvious I'm going to get the girl," Tama
proclaimed triumphantly.
The others, including the producer, all rolled their eyes at this and said nothing.
"If you'll follow me, then..."
The producer, who still hadn't offered a name for himself, led the three teens
through the building and towards the studio, which was appropriately enough behind a door
labeled "BLIND DATE STUDIO". Only a few of the lights were on in the place, but it still
gave the brown-haired young man a sense of wonder, that he was really on the set of the
show.
It was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time for Asai. He'd seen the studio lots
of times on his TV screen, but never up close and personal, with the viewing area being as
much as his eyes could see. He paused for a moment, taking in the sights of the room.
To the left was where the audience sat. Smaller than he pictured, so he figured that
they probably added canned laughter and applause on top of the live stuff. Then in front of
him, a big open space on the floor. The next day, there would be cameras aplenty in that
space, he knew. And finally, to the right, the set for the show.
Though it wasn't quite the same with the room dimly lit, he could see the chairs
where the guys would sit, the huge screen between the three of them and the girl, the podium
where Zenjirou-san would stand and ask all of the questions and make corny jokes. He could
almost picture the girl who would be sitting on the other side the next day...
Same as before, it was the voice of the producer that brought him out of his
reverie. "Tama, you will be bachelor number one."
"That's because I'm number one!" Tama replied in what Asai realized was his normal
arrogant manner.
"Tsubasa will be bachelor number two, and Asai will be bachelor number three. Any
questions?"
Three heads shook in the negative.
"Cool. Take your places then. I'll pretend to be Zenjirou for the time being," the
producer instructed. Tama confidently strode to the closest chair to the screen, Tsubasa
timidly walked towards the one in the middle, and Asai casually strolled to his assigned
chair.
"Excuse me, Mr. Producer, but I don't think your hair is silly-looking enough for
you to pretend to be Zenjirou-san," the volleyball player noted as he sat down.
At this the producer laughed, the first time any of them had heard him do so. "Yes,
yes indeed, Asai!" He laughed some more and gestured like he was clapping Asai on the back
across the distance. "A sense of humor, I like that, and I think our bachelorette will like
it as well!"
Asai smiled as he thought to himself, 'This certainly bodes well.'
The producer tossed back his head and began talking in a voice that was obviously a
mockery of the one that belonged to the goofy, buck-toothed Zenjirou. "Welcome back to TV's
Blind Date, everyone! Now that we've found out what happened to last week's happy couple,
let's get on to the best part of the show - where our lovely bachelorette picks one of the
three bachelors we introduced earlier, to go on a date!" He grinned stupidly and looked to
where the audience would be to applaud.
Continuing the silliness, the producer moved over to where the female contestant
sat, threw his voice like a female, and said, "Bachelor number one, if you were to take me
on a date..."
***
She came down the stairs for the umpteenth time that afternoon like it was a model's
runway. And at the present she was dressed almost as skimpy as some of those professional
models would be on the runway, wearing a black t-shirt that said "GIRL" on it in white
writing that was just a bit too short to cover up the purple booty shorts going with it.
For the umpteenth time that afternoon she looked at her friends with a hopeful
expression as she asked, "What do you guys think?"
And for the umpteenth time her friends replied, "It's not really good for TV,
Minako-chan."
For the umpteenth time she sighed and wondered what her friends would know about TV
outfits as she trudged back up the stairs.
Minako never suspected that they just kept sending her back so they could conspire
behind her back.
"How are we going to get this old lady's number to call her?" Makoto inquired.
"Artemis, do you know it?"
"Do I look like I use the phone very often?" the white cat replied sarcastically.
At this, Luna laughed until everyone stared at her and she realized she was the only
one who was laughing. When she had settled down she cleared her throat as a hint to steer
the conversation back on topic.
"Perhaps one or two of us should go visit the old woman and explain ourselves,"
suggested Ami after she had given the matter some thought.
"I'll go!" exclaimed Usagi.
"No!" cried five voices. Then when Usagi looked like she was going to cry, Rei put
a hand on her shoulder and said, "What we meant, Usagi-chan, is that we will probably do
this on the weekend, and we know how you like to go out with Mamoru-san on weekends."
The other four sighed in relief, as it was apparent the disaster was averted when
Usagi nodded and smiled. "Okay! You and Ami-chan will go, then?"
Everyone silenced when they heard one of the stairs creak, and looked over to see
Minako coming down the stairs again, this time wearing a pair of capri pants with a blue and
white flower pattern, and a blue and yellow plaid button-down shirt. "What are you guys
talking about?"
"Nothing, Minako-chan," Makoto said nervously, though Minako didn't notice this.
"Okay," the single one smiled. "So what do you think of this one?"
"I don't really like the colors of that shirt," Ami admitted, truthfully responding
for once.
"You'd look so cute if you had some purple in those flowers, Minako-chan," the
Shinto priestess added. "Do you have anything like that?"
Minako's eyes lit up and she beamed brightly at them. "I've got just the thing! I'll
be right back!" She bounded back up the staircase quickly, as excited as the rest of them
that things could finally be finished.
The girls huddled their heads together once she was out of sight.
"OK," Makoto summarized, "so Ami-chan and Rei-chan will go visit this old lady and
find out what she can to do help us set Minako-chan up with some guy."
"I think we've got a plan," Rei said with a lopsided grin.
"Good. We can get started as soon as Minako-chan is off of the show, Rei-chan." The
raven-haired Senshi nodded her agreement to Ami's plan.
"This is the one, don't you guys think?" Minako squealed as she ran down the steps.
She showed off what she and everyone else hoped would be the final outfit she would
show them. Like Rei said, purple would indeed look more cute on her, and so she came down
with a long khaki skirt with white and purple flowers embroidered on the bottom, and a solid
purple button-down shirt opened to reveal a skin-tight white tank top.
"It's a winner, Minako-chan," Usagi said gleefully, speaking for everyone.
"Great! You're all staying to help me pick out shoes, right?"
Five faces upended and landed on the floor.
"Right?"
***
COUNTDOWN: T-MINUS NINE HOURS
That morning Minako awoke like she had done every other morning, if you discount the
fact that it was nothing at all like what she had done any previous morning, ever.
Artemis thought about it as he watched Minako rise out of bed right when her alarm
went off, and he realized that it was directly in between what usually happened, and what
had happened the day before. Whereas usually she would slam down the snooze button for
another thirty minutes, and the day before she was completely and totally hyper once she was
awakened, he watched her as she calmly went about her usual routine, right on the schedule
she had planned out.
"I've got to be at the studio by three, so they can make sure I look okay and tell
me the rules and stuff before I go on the air at six," his charge informed him the previous
night. "So I'm getting up at nine and leaving the house by two."
It was more organized than he had ever seen her, and it made him quite proud to know
that she had finally listened to all of his advice, despite the fact that it had been about
a year since she really needed it to fight anything.
Everything she did that morning was methodical, which the cat had to admit to
himself was the exact opposite of what he was expecting, given the girl's track record. The
irony was not lost on Artemis, although he was a bit annoyed at the time she chose to
finally start acting like her position.
Then again, even that bubble was burst once it was about one o'clock and Minako was
completely ready to go to the studio, but didn't want to leave for another hour. Instead of
being in her room, they were downstairs on the couch as the blonde girl panicked about what
might go wrong on the show.
He might not have been disappointed except she was worrying about the silliest
things.
"What if a camera blows up and the show can't finish?" she asked in a panicked
voice. "What if the guy that I pick turns out to be some dork?"
"I'm glad to see you're so concerned about others' health, Minako-chan," he noted
dryly.
"What if the ceiling falls on my head in the middle of the show?" The blonde
continued as if Artemis hadn't even spoken. "Or what if I accidentally flash the camera, or
who knows what else?"
"It seems like you're worrying too much about nothing."
"Maybe." She looked over at him and regarded him with a skeptical look. "You know
what they say, though. Semper fiddles."
The cat shook his head and held back a laugh. "Indeed."
"Are you going to watch the show today, Artemis?"
"Yes, Minako-chan, I'm going to watch it from Usagi-chan's." He replied. "I know I
don't sound like it sometimes, but I wish you the best in finding a nice boyfriend." To
himself, he added, 'Because otherwise I'll never hear the end of it...'
Her eyes lit up as she smiled brightly and leaned over to scratch Artemis behind
the ears. "Thanks, Artemis. That really made my day. And I've still got to go on the
show!"
"Any time." The cat told her with as much of a sincere look as a cat can mimic.
With that, Minako stood up and smiled wider. "I think I'm going to go to the studio
now. There's no point in staying here." Seeing Artemis' hurt expression, she hastily added,
"No offense."
"Okay..." Artemis replied as she turned to head off. "Good luck!"
And with that she was gone to become a TV contestant.
***
T-MINUS EIGHTY-TWO MINUTES
Not for the first time, Minako decided that the woman who had been fussing over her
hair and her make-up since she had arrived was probably going through a mid-life crisis.
The blonde could tell that the woman had died her hair, probably to hide some gray, and
she kept treating Minako like a daughter. Being the Senshi of Love, it was obvious to
Minako that the woman was lonely, but what could she do?
"Lass, whichever boy ye choose, ye're gonna knock 'is socks right off," the woman,
Maeve, told her with a smile as she took a brush and yanked through Minako's hair for
what seemed like the thousandth time in the last hour.
"Thank you, Maeve-san," Minako said timidly, as she was intimidated a bit by the
Irish woman. When she looked into the huge mirror in front of her that was lined with
pictures of previous female contestants of the show, and saw that the woman was still
smiling, she realized that she was just creeped out by the bonny Irish lady.
Though she didn't know it, she wasn't the first.
"Now look this way and let me put some more make-up on ye..."
The soon-to-be contestant zoned out into her own thoughts, not even consciously
listening to the commands of the woman but obeying them nonetheless.
***
T-MINUS FIFTY-SEVEN MINUTES
Not for the first time, Asai decided that the producer of TV's Blind Date was a
pretty cool guy. The three male contestants had all been instructed to arrive before four
in the afternoon through a side entrance, so there was no chance that any of them would run
into their potential blind date and she into them. Since they knew that if they saw her,
they would be thrown off the show, not even Tama thought it was worth taking chances.
He was very nervous about being on the show, and he knew that Tsubasa was, too,
despite the fact that the bookish boy was there as a joke in the first place.
"Bob's your uncle, eh?" The older man asked Tama as the jock shifted uncomfortably
on the other side of the room.
Tama scowled as he leveled a glare at the producer. "Who the fuck is Bob?" Asai
frowned at the use of the vulgar phrase.
"He's your uncle," replied the producer without missing a beat. Then he laughed when
the response he got was a look bordering between confused and enraged. Asai and Tsubasa
joined in the laughter. Though it did seem to Asai like the nerd was laughing harder, so it
must have been some joke he did not understand.
After a brief pause, the producer continued, "I hope I don't hear that from you on
the air. This isn't some American talk show here."
His response, not surprisingly, was a growl from Tama, but a nod accompanied it. The
producer wasn't worried. Some people just needed frightened into compliance, and it appeared
Tama was one of them.
"I've go talk to our lovely female contestant now, fellas," the man said as he
winked so that it appeared it could be directed at any of the three boys. "I'll be back
before it's time for you to take your places, don't worry!"
"Thanks again, Mr. Producer!" Asai called out as the man walked to leave.
"Any time, my boy. Any time."
***
T-MINUS THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES
Not for the first time, Minako found herself wondering why going on TV required so
much work. Sure, she didn't expect it to be done in an hour, but three hours was getting
pretty ridiculous.
"Finished!" Announced Maeve the Make-up Lady.
"It looks great, Maeve-san," Minako told her as she admired her face and hair in
the mirror. And it was true, but that didn't stop the blonde from letting out a sigh of
relief that she could finally be away from the crazy woman.
As she watched in the mirror, she noticed the older woman was about to say
something, but right at that moment, the show's producer walked in.
'Freedom!' shouted Minako inwardly.
"As always, wonderful work, Maeve," the producer proclaimed with a smile as he
admired the job done to the contestant on his show.
"You are too kind, Jack," replied Maeve with a slight blush.
The Senshi of Love almost had to reach up and hold her head, so loud was her 'love
sonar' that she had perfected over time going off. After all, she'd been at the whole
matchmaking thing for quite some time now, so she had lots and lots of practice. And this,
she decided, was one that was worth pursuing.
The excitable woman hurried out of the room with all of her supplies, though, and
left Minako alone with the producer and her thoughts that she would have to do something
about later. After all, no matter how desperate she was to find a boyfriend, she still was
V-chan, the Ai no Senshi!
"Ready for your big appearance, Minako?" The producer asked, the completely unaware
look on his face almost making her laugh.
"You bet I am!" she exclaimed as she flashed a V-sign at him. "Finally, in a little
more than an hour, Aino Minako and her amazingly fabulous search for a boyfriend will draw
to a close!"
As he watched the girl go through her spiel, the producer mentally patted himself on
the back for this choice, because she seemed to have just the right energy to be on the
show.
"Have you got your three questions memorized in the order you want to ask them?"
"Of course, and they're on a card for Zenjirou-san to make a bad joke about..."
With a laugh the producer took the card and looked over it.
***
T-MINUS TEN MINUTES
Not for the first time, Asai stared at the rapidly gathering audience in awe. When
he was in the studio the day before, it seemed like there were so few seats. But now that
they were filling up it was a completely different story entirely.
"Yeah, like having people watching will make me any more nervous than I already am,"
he muttered to himself. Tsubasa must have heard him, because the other boy nodded.
He tried to tell himself that it didn't matter, because nobody that he knew was
watching the show, and it wasn't like the girl was ever going to see his performance on
the show after she picked him. But that wasn't really worth much, because he knew that in
less than ten minutes, people all around Japan would be tuning in to watch him compete for
a date with the lovely lady of the week.
A sudden squeal jolted him back to attention as he noticed a mob of people swarm
around Zenjirou-san as the host of the show walked in.
"Zenjirou-san! Can you get autographs for us?" shouted one.
"I'd love to, but let me get a p-" the host started.
"No, no, Zenjirou-san, we want you to get autographs from Sana-chan and give them to
us!" another exclaimed.
The buck-toothed game show host gave a sigh as he burst into a melodramatic episode
that was quite typical for him when cameras were not following him. "Oh, woe is me! Why do
I always work so hard, only to be outshone by Sana-chan? Will there ever be mobs of cute
young girls screaming for Zenjirou-san? Will they ever ask for my autograph?"
"I don't think so, if you keep crying while they stand around you," noted the
producer, who seemed to appear from nowhere wearing a smirk on his face.
"You think so?" the host asked through a glum expression.
His reply was a nod that barely contained the smirk.
"Then, I'll work twice as hard as everyone else, just to win some fans!"
Inwardly the producer sighed. 'The more things change, the more they stay the same.'
***
T-MINUS SIX MINUTES
Not for the first time, Minako stared from behind a curtain at the gathering
audience and realized that it had been far too long since she had been in front of an
adoring group of fans.
"Finally, Minako has come back to television!" she muttered to herself.
***
T-MINUS THIRTY-TWO SECONDS
Not for the first time, the producer shouted, "Places, everyone!" and the various
techies scrambled about to their cameras and sound booths, the audience grew quiet, and
Zenjirou ran a hand through his hair as he stood up on the host's podium.
***
T-MINUS ZERO SECONDS
Not for the first time, Usagi squealed. "The show's coming on! The show's coming
on!" she called out to her friends.
Ami, Rei, and Makoto, who were in the kitchen of Usagi's house helping themselves
to some snacks, came running in right as the theme music to the show kicked in. The
camera panned across the audience first as the logo for the show displayed on the
screen, then it disappeared for a second for a shot of the three male contestants.
Ami suddenly gasped as she looked at the one on the right in particular. "Oh my
God! One of the contestants is Asai!"
***
The entire studio hung in anticipation for Zenjirou to shout what was fast
becoming a household phrase. "Llllllllladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's
episode of TV's Blind Date!"
Screaming and clapping ensued from the enthusiastic audience that seemed to
consist almost entirely of teenage girls. Not that this was a departure from the
normal audience of the show.
"Are you ready to meet today's contestants?" continued the host, although he was
entirely drowned out to the audience in the studio by screaming. Fortunately the sound
men heard him so they could cue the proper camera cuts. "Right now our female
contestant is in a sound-proof booth backstage, so there is no chance that she will
accidentally recognize one of our male contestants!"
More screaming. Nobody even knew why.
Once the crowd had settled down, Zenjirou guffawed for no apparent reason,
looking more ridiculous than most would because of his dental situation. But of course
he was oblivious to this, so he plugged on.
Off to the side, a drum roll kicked in. "Our first contestant is Bachelor Number
One! His name is Tama, he plays the American version of football, and he's looking to
exploit the beauty of a young girl for his own ends!" Applause and squealing.
Somewhere, the producer was shaking his head.
The drum was a bit louder when Zenjirou continued, "Our second contestant is
Bachelor Number Two! His name is Tsubasa, he's got the first one hundred decimal
places of pi memorized, and he's looking for an intellectual girl who can appreciate
the ironies of life!" This time there was a brief pause while there was a collective
blink and shrug from the girls in the audience before the cheering, squealing, and
clapping ensued.
The studio drummer kicked the volume up another notch, the sign for the host
to continue on to the last contestant. "And our third contestant is Bachelor Number
Three! His name is Asai, he plays volleyball at Juuban High School, and he's looking
to meet the girl of his dreams!"
This time the girls in the audience sighed en masse before they applaused and
squealed, most likely because they were looking for romantic boyfriends themselves,
and naturally the idea of a girl of someone's dreams would appeal to such a person.
"And now, our female contestant will come on stage! We can't have her tell you
anything about herself, of course, but she has given us some information that we will
display on the screens for you in the audience or watching around Japan! Let's give a
Blind Date welcome for today's bachelorette!"
To cheers, hoots, howls, and other sorts of ecstatic noises, Aino Minako made
her grand reappearance on TV. She came out from a door on the opposite side of the
studio than where the guys came in, and took her place on the seat on her side of the
big screen.
On the TV's that could be seen by everyone except for the three male contestants
a few things displayed about her:
NAME: Aino Minako
AGE: 16
LIKES: Helping people fall in love
LOOKING FOR: Boyfriend, period.
When the applause died down finally, Zenjirou spun to face the audience, his
greased hair not moving one bit.
"Before we get on with the trial of the three bachelors, let's find out what
happened to last week's happy couple, right?" The host smiled as he turned to face
one of the TV screens that were now playing footage from a tape of the date of the
previous week's couple.
The tape came on just in time to see a young woman at a nice restaurant stand
up and shout, "I HATE YOU!" and throw her glass of water at a nicely-dressed young
man who appeared to be her date. He responded in a similar fashion, flicking several
pieces of food from his entree at the girl as he screamed, "YEAH?! WELL I HATE YOU
TOO, SO THERE!"
It began to escalate from there, with more types of food being thrown back
and forth and other patrons at the restaurant who were hit by stray bits of food
getting involved. The screens cut away from that tape not long after that, going back
to Zenjirou in the studio, who was staring away off the camera for about ten seconds
before he realized he was on the TV he was looking at.
"Isn't it great to see two young lovers getting along?" he offered with a
sheepish grin. Back in the sound room, the producer added a laugh track after the
line so the audience got the idea and joined in on the laughter. Thanks to this quick
effort none of the contestants found out about what happened, so they couldn't be
unnerved by a horror story of what might happen.
"Time sure flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?" he continued when the
laughter was finished. "It's time to take a commercial break, but don't worry, when we
get back, our lovely contestant will begin to narrow down her search for a date!"
Music and applause kicked in as the Blind Date logo appeared on the screens,
and then the show cut away to commercials.
***
At Usagi's house, nobody was really paying attention to the parts of the show
that didn't deal with either Minako or Asai directly. Ever since Ami recognized the
young man and reminded the others about what she knew about him, they had all been very
excited. Even further, they noticed that it seemed like Artemis was hiding something
from them, so when the commercial break came on, they were ready to start grilling him
for answers.
"You've got to know something more about this guy!" Rei exclaimed in
exasperation after Artemis claimed to know nothing yet again. "This is not just any
old guy!"
The cat flicked his tail and looked up at the ceiling, trying (and failing) to
assume a sort of dignified, "I'm too good for this" expression.
The failure probably had something to do with the fiery Senshi grabbing him and
holding him up by the tail.
"Ow! Okay, okay, you got me, I'll talk!" Artemis pleaded.
"Wimp," sniffed Luna as Rei let him down.
"Spill it," commanded Rei. "Now."
Artemis looked like he was going to try to play dumb again, but Rei looked like
she was going to yank his tail again so his resolve crumbled quickly. "It's so
coincidental, you probably won't even believe me."
"Hey, we spent two years battling the worst baddies in the universe, we can
handle a little coincidence," chimed in Makoto, her voice indicating that her
patience level was at or around zero.
"Well..." the lone male amidst a veritable sea of estrogen swallowed. "In a
way it's simple. You know the old woman you were talking about earlier, right?"
The others all nodded their heads, and Ami's face lit up in recognition.
"That's Asai's grandmother. She's blind, so I've talked to her before, and
she has no clue that I'm a cat."
"You're kidding," Rei said in disbelief.
The cat grumbled, "I told you that you wouldn't believe me."
"It's okay, Artemis, I believe you," said Ami as she reached in to pet the
cat. "In a way it actually makes sense. Minako has sometimes claimed she feels like
a plaything of the kami, and this only proves it."
Usagi blinked. "How?"
Ami was about to explain, but then the show came back on TV. "Never mind,
remind me later and I'll explain," she said hastily. "But either way, Rei and I have
to meet this woman even more than we did previously."
***
"Welcome back, everyone!" exclaimed Zenjirou over huge applause as the show
came back on. "Now that we're back, it's time to get moving on to what everyone
came here to see, shall we? Bachelorette, are you ready to play Blind Date?"
"Sure am, Zenjirou-san!" Minako said cheerfully as she flashed a V-sign to the
camera.
"Audience, are we ready?"
"YEAH!" came the universal shout.
"Then let's play!" Zenjirou said with a grin. "As always, our bachelorette
will ask two questions to each of the bachelors, then pick one that she does not
want to date. Then, she'll ask one more questions to the remaining two bachelors,
and pick which one to date!" He pointed at Minako to signal the change in control.
Lights flashed on Minako and she seemed to be shining from all of the
attention. With a smile, she leaned up in her chair and said in a sing-song voice,
"My first question is this: 'If you were to be the one I choose, where would you take
me for our first date'?" She emphasized the word 'first' which caused a mix of "oohs"
and squeals from the audience. Then she turned to face the screen, because that's what
the contestants always did. "Bachelor Number One?"
On the other side of the screen, Tama had a look of pure confidence on his face,
as he answered haughtily, "Probably to a quiet hillside, if you know what I mean."
The other three contestants were equally repulsed by that particular answer,
but it seemed like the audience ate it up. Minako gaped for a second, but recovered
and managed to say, "I see. Bachelor Number Two?"
As the cameras shifted over to Tsubasa, he seemed like he was going to panic
for a second. But he got control of himself, gulped, and replied in a quiet voice,
"I think I'd take you to a chess competition. Those are very exciting." Laughter from
the audience, although he was purely serious.
'One jackass and one super nerd... I hope this isn't a lesser of two evils kind
of thing,' Minako thought to herself grimly. "That sounds... different," she replied
diplomatically. "Bachelor Number Three?"
For some reason that Asai didn't really quite know, he had been sure that one
of the questions the girl was going to ask would be this one. He'd been thinking about
a reply to that question for a while, and so when the cameras moved to him, he
replied with certainty, "I would take you out to a nice restaurant for dinner before
going to see a movie that you pick."
'Why does that voice sound familiar? Oh well, he's nice enough.' She grinned
as the audience clapped some more and she realized just how silly some girls could be.
"Very gentlemanly."
"One question down, one question to go!" interjected Zenjirou. "Which bachelor
will be the first one gone? Audience, pick up your pads from the seat in front of you
and choose now!"
There was a fifteen-second window while people keyed in their choices, then the
results displayed across Japan:
#1: 11%
#2: 52%
#3: 37%
A lesson that stupid people in large groups should not be underestimated.
To add to suspense and to reduce the likelihood of unpleasant events on the air,
the contestants were not made privy to the results of this vote. Zenjirou signaled back
to Minako, who continued, "My second question is this: If you were to find a purse on
the ground and inside of it was a million yen, what would you do with it? Bachelor
Number One?"
"I'd keep it," scoffed Tama. "Finders keepers, losers weepers, and all."
'Jerk', Minako decided. "Thank you, Number One. Bachelor Number Two, what would
you do?"
"I'd look inside and see if it belonged to anyone," Tsubasa replied, a little
less nervous than before, "and if I couldn't find any ID or names, I'd keep it."
'Better than most people would do,' the blonde admitted to herself. "Very nice
of you, Number Two. Bachelor Number Three, how about you?"
The volleyball-playing young man hadn't seen this question coming, but still he
knew the answer easily, because that was the way he was. "I'd turn it in to the
authorities, and if nobody claimed it then I would get to keep it," he replied.
Inwardly, Minako was pleased, but she had to keep that hidden. "Thank you, Number
Three!"
A drumroll started again as Zenjirou cut in, "Well, Bachelorette, are you ready
to send one of these three specimen home empty-handed?"
"I think I can manage to pick one," she said sarcastically.
"Let's hear it!"
"Bachelor Number Three seems like a very nice guy, so much that I almost wonder
why he's single in the first place. Bachelor Number Two seems unique, but that's not
so bad since I like unique. And then there's Bachelor Number One... who just seems
like an asshole. So Number One can take a hike!" concluded Minako. Cheers came from
the audience as Tama stood up and walked off dejectedly past Minako.
"There's who you chose to send home, Bachelorette! Hope you don't have any
regrets!" Zenjirou cried, then turned to face the clapping audience. "We'll be back
after this break, when our contestant picks one bachelor to date!"
***
The break seemed to pass quickly in the studio. Some techies ran out and removed
the stool that Tama had been sitting on, then spaced Tsubasa and Asai so there wasn't
and empty space.
"Welcome back again, everybody!" said the host. "Are we ready for our
bachelorette to ask her final question and choose her blind date?"
"YEAH!"
"Bachelorette, take it away!"
The girl nodded and smiled. "My final question is the most important question of
all. And here it is: How would you describe the girl of your dreams? Bachelor Number
Two?"
"Oh! Well, that's easy," Tsubasa declared. "My dream girl would have long brown
hair and brown eyes. She'd have glasses. She'd be intelligent and she'd have a sense
of humor. She'd like to read, and she wouldn't care that I'm a huge nerd."
"Sounds like a lovely girl, Number Two. How about you, Number Three?"
Asai had been ruminating on this for a while, considering he had been on a
search for a girlfriend for quite some time. "She'll be beautiful, like a goddess,
with long flowing hair, eyes that sparkle all of the time, and a smile that can
launch a thousand ships. Listening to her voice will be like listening to an angel
singing. She'll laugh at my jokes, and I'll laugh at hers. She will believe in true
love."
Several people in the studio, including many of the audience and Zenjirou, were
sobbing at the lovely description given by Asai.
"That was... wonderful, Number Three," Minako said, stunned. 'It almost felt
like he was talking about me...'
"Are you ready to pick, Bachelorette?" Zenjirou asked once he'd calmed down.
"Yes, I am, Zenjirou." Minako took a deep breath. The drummer started yet
another roll. "My choice to date... is Bachelor Number T-"
She was interrupted by a scream from somewhere in the audience.
"BLIND DATE, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" shouted a despondant male voice. A figure
emerged from somewhere, carrying a gun. Audience members recognized it as the male
from the clip of the previous week's episode.
The cameras all wheeled to face the newcomer as people screamed and ran out
of the studio.
"Hey, what the Hell are you doing here? I was just about to pick my dream
date, you bastard!" Minako shouted.
"Quiet, bitch, or this bullet'll have your name on it!" the young man
shouted back.
"Come on over here, why don't you, and I'll show you who is the bitch!"
she goaded.
Like a moron, the young man dropped the gun and ran over to drub what he
asssumed would be a weak girl. Before he knew what hit him, he was on the ground
cluthing his groin.
"As I was saying, my choice to date is Bachelor Number T-"
"I'm sorry, but we're out of time for today!" Zenjirou said cheerfully.
"Tune in next week when things get back to normal!"
"But wait, I wanted to pick Bachelor Number T-"
"Ja ne, minna-san!"
The cameras cut off, and as the realization that she was the first person
ever to not leave Blind Date with a date, she began to get desperate. Rather than
do the rational thing and go over on the other side of the screen to see who
Bachelor Number Three was, she ran off, sobbing.
Asai was convinced she was going to choose him, but she was already gone by
the time he peeked on the other side of the screen.
"Damn," he muttered.
A hand clapped on his shoulder. He looked over and saw that it was Tsubasa.
"I'm sure you'll see her again," the nerd told him.
"How do you know?"
Tsubasa shrugged. "Hey, you were the one talking about true love. It works
in funny ways, or so everyone tells me."
"I guess it does," Asai admitted, feeling a bit better already. "I'll just
have to keep looking for her. If only I knew her name, or what she looked like..."
***
A couple of hours later, the producer came into one of the back rooms of
the station. It was somewhat dimly lit, and he was really only there to
satisfy his own curiosity. When he got there he found that the make-up woman,
Maeve, was there already.
"You left the note?" both asked at the same time, then blinked.
"I think we've been had," the man noted.
"Mebbe so..."
"Well, uh... do you want to go grab dinner or something? It was a
pretty long day."
"I think I'd like that."
***
That night, Minako wallowed on her bed, deep in the throes of self-pity.
She was more than a bit upset at the events of that afternoon, considering she
had been seconds away from getting a boyfriend but then was thwarted by an angry
contestant from the previous week.
Artemis was in there with her, trying to cheer her up, but it wasn't
worth much to her. What could he know, being a male cat?
"It doesn't help anything if you just sit here, Minako-chan," he said.
She grunted.
"I bet that boy is looking for you, and he can't find you if you're
just in here all of the time."
"Go away."
The cat sighed. So much for all of the progress that had been made, he
noted grimly.
The blonde, who had been staring straight forward for hours, took yet
another look at what was right in front of her. It was a page of a newspaper
sticking out of her waste-basket, that she had been using earlier to sit all
of her make-up on.
She sprang up out of the bed as the significance of what that page
could do hit her.
"That's it!" she exclaimed, the "old" Minako coming back to the
surface. "Aino Minako is hitting the classifieds!"
There was but one thing for Artemis to say.
"Oh, boy."
***
Notes: Well, this chapter really ran away from what was originally planned
for it. When we first thought of the idea to have Minako on a dating show,
we figured it would be something fun to have, but then when I was writing
this and had to do all of this set-up work and a bit of stuff about other
characters sprang up out of nowhere, and it was just like @_@.
Did you spot the borrowed character? It was Zenjirou the host, from the
anime Kodomo no Omocha (Child's Toy). I needed a host for the show and he
stuck in my mind.
Stay tuned next time for insanity revolving around classified ads, as
Aino Minako and Her Amazingly Fabulous Search For A Boyfriend continues!
-End
Aino Minako and Her Amazingly Fabulous Search For A Boyfriend
A Minakofic
Authors: Moogle (moogle@fanforce.net)
Kate B (kateb@moonromance.com)
========
We claim ownership over nothing here. But please don't steal our
ideas, you have no idea how long it took to become so insane to
think of ideas like this!
As always, this is probably like a PG-13. Just to be safe.
Well-watched otaku will recognize the borrowed character in this chapter.
Cheers to you if you can spot the reference.
Oh yeah, and this chapter is kinda long. Oops? ^^;
***
Artemis had known his charge for years now, so he was fairly sure
that he had a good judge of when Minako's crazy schemes would actually
be acted upon, and when they would just blow up in her face, fizzle out
without ever coming to fruition, or otherwise fail. And using this sixth
sense of sorts, he was absolutely positive that there was no way the tape
Minako sent in to the producers of Blind Date would get her put on the show.
***
PRODUCTION ROOM OF TV'S BLIND DATE
TWO DAYS EARLIER
The stacks of papers and video tapes were all piled high on the single table
that was in the middle of the room. Each of the casting directors was tired
of being there, tired of looking at tapes and applications, and just generally
tired.
"Okay, everyone, this is the last one we're looking at today," said the lead
director as he picked up a tape and an application form. "This next one is Aino
Minako. She's 16, and she says that she wants to be an idol and still loves
Sailor V."
A few of them groaned, a few of them sighed, and a few of them stared blankly
at the screen. Maybe, just maybe, this Aino Minako would be the one that would
let them stop this insanity, they all were thinking.
The director popped Minako's tape into the projector and sat back to see
what would come of this one.
Onto the screen popped a smiling Minako, dressed in her uniform from the
volleyball team and holding onto a volleyball to match.
"Hi!" she said cheerfully to the camera. "I'm Aino Minako, age 16! I'm a 10th year
student at Juuban High School right in Juuban! I like to sing and dance and - oh! Play
volleyball too!" Minako tossed the ball up like she was going to spike it.
"No, wait, Minako-chan, the camera-" a voice pleaded from off-screen, but it was
too late already.
The blonde spiked the ball and it flew straight at the camera, slamming into it
right at the lens. The tripod fell back and clattered against the ground, but the camera
continued to run, showing the volleyball laying in front of it on the floor and Minako's
long legs in the background.
"Oh, Ami-chan, are you okay?" She called out as she ran towards her friend to see
if Ami was hurt.
"No, wait, Minako-chan," Ami started, "the volleyball-"
But she didn't have enough time to finish, as her blonde friend slipped on the
volleyball and landed straight on her butt right in front of the fallen camera.
In the production room, all of the directors were laughing harder than they had
laughed in weeks, maybe even months. How could they not have such an obvious disaster
area on the show? The ratings would be great!
"Aino Minako," said the lead director as he caught his breath, "welcome to TV's
Blind Date!"
***
THE AINO HOUSEHOLD
PRESENT TIME
"No," Artemis said aloud, "there's no way this would ever work." He was sure of it,
as sure as he'd ever been of anything in his entire life. Minako was just too... well,
Minako, to ever be on that show.
And right as he finished that thought, the front door of the house kicked open and
there stood Minako, proudly holding a letter in her right hand, with what looked like joyous
tears streaming down both of her cheeks.
"YES!" she screamed. "AINO MINAKO IS APPEARING ON TV'S BLIND DATE IN THREE DAYS!"
She dashed straight up the steps to her room, where she shut the door and started
getting herself ready for her first TV appearance since her Sailor V days.
In the meantime, Artemis sat by the front door, staring outside in plain shock.
Eventually he recovered.
But only long enough to say, "Oh, boy."
***
Mission III: TV's Blind Date
***
COUNTDOWN: T-MINUS TWO DAYS
Knowing better than to try to disrupt Minako's karma in the frantic days leading up
to her appearance on the game show "TV's Blind Date", her four good friends decided that
they would just rather celebrate for her by doing what they seemed to be doing a lot of
late, that being sitting around in the air-conditioned Crown Arcade and having a drink.
"She really is going to be on that stupid show, isn't she?" Rei asked the assembled
females.
"It sounded like she was serious about it when I talked to her," Makoto put in, as
she gave her head a shake at all of the disastrous possibilities that could result.
"I'm sure she'll have a lot of fun doing it," Ami said with a chuckle. "It's not
like she should be able to complain, she comes out of it with a date no matter what."
The blonde among them, epitome of perceptiveness that she was, gasped suddenly and
called out, "But wait a minute... why would Minako-chan want to get a date from a guy on
TV?"
As was becoming a trend, the other three fell over straight to the floor with a loud
crash, although amazingly their drinks did not spill.
"Usagi-chan... think about it," pleaded Rei, though she already knew well it would
do little good.
"Minako-chan wants a boyfriend," the brunette added, also knowing it was going to be
futile.
"And if the guy she takes on a date likes her, she'll have a boyfriend," Ami
continued.
"Oh." Usagi paused and blinked innocently. "But why is she trying to find a date on
TV if we're finding her a date?"
"Because she doesn't KNOW we're trying to find her a date, remember?" Rei said as
she gritted her teeth in annoyance.
"And if she finds out then it won't be a surprise."
"So you WON'T tell her, got it?"
"Okay, okay, I've got it... but, you're not going to set her up with my Mamo-chan,
are you?"
This time the other three fell to the floor so hard it was a wonder that they didn't
go right through it. Usagi just stared at them and shrugged.
***
Across the street from the whirlwind that was Minako's house, two people sat and
talked about a similar subject that had caused Minako's fury. One was quite aware of the
situation Minako was in, and the other was, as always, completely oblivious.
"Can you believe it, Grandma? I'm going to be on TV!" shouted a young man who was as
excited as one would think before a first appearance on television.
"I am so proud of you, Asai-kun. But what is it you're going to do on TV?" The
elderly woman knew already, of course, because being a grandmother and blind, she had a
sense of perception that was envied by all who knew about it (which numbered zero, of
course, because she also knew how to pretend to be oblivious.)
Not like her grandson could have noticed anyway, of course, as he was far too
excited. "I get to go on the show with two other guys, and we'll have to try to answer
questions from a girl, and at the end she picks one of us and we go on a date."
"Hmm... and what if you aren't the one she picks?"
Suddenly Asai's face froze, because he hadn't given that one much thought. "I don't
know." But, he recovered into a cocky smile quickly. "But it doesn't matter, I'm sure she'll
pick me!"
"It's good to be so sure of yourself, Asai-kun," said the old woman, her voice
dripping with sarcasm.
Which, of course, was completely missed by the young man. "I know, isn't it?"
Not that his grandmother could sigh and let on that she knew more than she did. "I
still wish you'd let me introduce you to this lovely young lady, Asai-kun..."
"Maybe," he replied. "If this TV thing doesn't work out." Asai didn't actually
believe that the girl with the dogs existed, but it couldn't hurt to hedge his bets a bit.
"She's coming over in a little while, if you want to wait."
"Nah, Grandma, later maybe." He looked around and blushed. "Actually, I need to go
now, I have to get ready for my big TV appearance!"
The old lady sighed, then nodded her head. "Okay, Asai-kun... if you say so." As
she waved good-bye to the direction she was fairly sure that her grandson was in, she
thought to herself, 'Kids these days sure aren't making it easy to be the old matchmaking
grandmother...' Then she grinned as she remembered the trouble she put her own grandmother
through, and decided that maybe she didn't have it too tough after all.
***
Not surprisingly, the Aino household was a flurry of activity. This wasn't entirely
due to Minako's pending appearance on television - well, yes it was. Of course, seeing as
how she was Minako, there were a lot of things that needed to be done and re-done before she
could even fully prepare to be on TV. Her hair needed to be washed, straightened, washed
again, dried, and brushed thoroughly. Then there were her clothes. Every outfit she owned
had to be washed and dried, because they all had to be perfectly clean for her to choose
which outfit she would wear on the show. In the same fashion her shoes had to be organized
so she could see all of them once she picked out the outfit.
On top of all of that, she had previously agreed to go visit the old lady across the
street today. Looking back on it, she decided that was quite a poor decision to make.
"Then again," she told herself as she ran the hair dryer, "hindsight is always
blind."
The white cat at her side sighed. "Minako-chan, that's 'hindsight is always 20/20.'"
"That's what I said!" The blonde-haired girl grinned at him and flashed her
trademark V-sign at Artemis with her free hand.
The cat fell off the bed and landed on the floor.
"What?" Minako blinked innocently as she stared in wonder at the cat.
"Nothing, Minako-chan... it's nothing." Artemis told her with another sigh.
She giggled. "Silly Artemis!" As she shut off the blowdryer she admonished the cat
with a finger. "Then why make a big deal out of it?"
Rather than risk injury to his body, the moon cat opted to leave Minako to her
inner blonde. He wandered out of the house, since nobody was really paying attention to him.
Without thinking twice she shrugged and started to brush her hair, letting her mind
wonder about the kind of guy she might meet and go on a date with from the show.
"I bet that he'll be tall and handsome, and have curly hair that I can run my hands
through, and eyes I could get lost in..." A dreamy sigh. "A total bishounen... except
nobody will think he's gay. Or maybe he'll be the strong, silent type! With big, strong
arms, and solid like a tree trunk, and he can whisk me off of my feet..."
She snapped out of it eventually, once she realized that her mom had popped in and
out of the room twice with two complete loads of laundry and that her hair probably wasn't
going to get any better than it was.
Her head strayed to look out the window and she then noticed that the sun was moving
along in the sky and she had to rush across the street if she was going to keep her promised
meeting with the loony elderly woman.
With her hair dried and brushed, all she had to do was get dressed. In a way that
almost pained her because it took away one of her options of something to wear when she went
on the show, but rather than agonize over it she just picked an outfit quickly, hoping that
it wouldn't be one she'd want to wear on TV.
The method worked out nicely, as she picked out a nice outfit, but not nearly skimpy
enough for cameras to shine on her. Of course, it never occurred to her that she was going
to visit a blind woman who didn't care what she looked like.
Throwing on her shoes, she called back upstairs, "Mom, going across to the old bag's
place!" And with that she ran outside, not hearing her mom's plea to respect her elders.
The sights were familiar. Car in driveway, tree in front yard, fence, Artemis in
front of the fence, sidewalk...
"Wait a minute, what are you doing out here?" she demanded suddenly as she realized
that Artemis didn't belong in the picture.
"I went for a walk," replied the cat nonchalantly as he strolled past her and back
inside. If she didn't know any better she'd have sworn that there was a smirk on his face,
but no, she was sure the cat wasn't that diabolical.
Shrugging, she put the thought out of sight and out of mind like only she could, and
she bounced happily across the street towards the old woman's house.
To her surprise she found the old woman waiting outside already.
"Hi!" Minako called out in her most kawaii, sing-song voice, so the older woman knew
she was approaching.
"Minako-chan! I am glad that you could make it even though you're going to be on TV
in a couple of days," replied the grandmother.
"Yeah, well, some things are more important than getting ready for TV," the blonde
told her with a smile.
The woman smiled back. "You know, I was just outside here talking to the young man
from a few days ago, and my grandson was here a little earlier..."
"Thanks, but no thanks... Aino Minako is getting the hook-up on TV's Blind Date! No
female has ever left without getting a boyfriend!"
"If you say so, Minako-chan. Should we go inside?"
Minako nodded, and the old woman led her inside of her house.
Before she knew it, she'd talked away the rest of the day in idle chatter with the
woman, and it was time for her to head back home to get ready to sleep and have her last
hectic day before the much-awaited TV appearance.
***
COUNTDOWN: T-MINUS ONE DAY
Early that morning, before most people in Tokyo were even awake, a meeting took
place in an alley between two conspirators that nobody could bring themselves to suspect.
"Word on the street has it they're looking to find her a boyfriend," said Artemis
from the shadows.
"Artemis! Stop the cloak and dagger nonsense, nobody will expect us to be here, and
we don't need to be secretive!" Despite being a cat, Luna managed to strike a pose much like
a mother putting her hands on her hips to scold a child.
"Right, right, sorry..." A sweatdrop appeared on the back of the white cat's head.
"But yes, they are looking. How did you find out?"
"I've got my sources."
The black cat rolled her eyes and muttered, "Yare yare..."
"What? I'm serious!"
A sigh. "I don't really care how you found out, anyway... are you saying you can
help?"
"Maybe... who's asking?" A mischievous gleam appeared in Artemis' eyes.
Luna batted at him with a paw. She was getting frustrated at his antics, but then,
he always was this way. "I am, baka! Now, spit it out."
Artemis grinned, as much as a cat can grin, anyway. He was thoroughly enjoying
himself at Luna's expense, and that was always good. "Two things I know to be true. One,
there is no difference between good flam and bad flam." The grin broadened as Luna glared
daggers at him. "Two, it would benefit them to check across the street from Minako's."
"You mean that old woman Makoto mentioned...?"
"That's the one!" With that the white cat turned to leave.
"Wait a minute, what about her?"
"You'll just have to figure that out on your own, won't you?"
"Urgh!" The black cat felt like punching a wall, she was getting so frustrated.
Naturally this made Artemis all the more amused. "Fine, then, be that way."
"I will!" Artemis called back with a laugh as he scampered off.
Shaking her head, Luna headed off in the opposite direction.
Next to where they were sitting, a figure that had been previously still sat up
suddenly and rubbed a hand about his disheveled face. "Oi," he swore to himself, "Zenjirou,
what did you do to yourself this time? No more sake after shoots, I swear..." And then the
figure fell down again.
***
A little bit later, though not much later as it was still early in the morning, the
white cat made his way back to the Aino household, taking the path he'd taken many times
before as he hopped up the tree and onto the windowsill of Minako's room.
On a normal day, she wouldn't even register his re-entry into the room.
Unfortunately, the day was anything but a normal day, as the next day was the TV
appearance.
Minako's eyes opened as soon as she heard the sound. Within the blink of an eye she
sat up and glared over at the clock next to her bed and exploded in a flurry of activity
much resembling Usagi.
"Oh my God, it's nine in the morning, I've only got twelve hours to do things before
stores close, and I still have to pick out an outfit, and what if I have to buy shoes? I
have to call the other girls and have them help, but what if they're not home, and even if
they are I have to eat three meals too, or else I won't have my energy, and then I might
pass out on the show, and what if that happens? That would be bad, and..."
She flew about the room as she rambled, not even caring that Artemis was there
as she changed her clothes and brushed out her hair, ran to the bathroom and brushed her
teeth.
Artemis could only contain his amusement because he knew that if he didn't, she
would somehow notice him and smite him out the window. It hadn't happened yet, but that was
because he was always careful about things.
It wasn't even ten minutes later that she came back into the room, wheezing and
panting and clutching a portable phone in her hand. She'd finished with herself, ate, and
called the other four Inner Senshi and told them to come over to help her pick things out.
She looked at him curiously. "If you were going to go through everything you own to
figure out what you'd wear, how would you do it?"
"Uh, Minako-chan, I don't wear-"
"I guess I could have them wait downstairs and I'll keep coming upstairs and
changing..." the blonde continued as though he hadn't said anything.
"Minako-chan, I'm not even a girl-"
"How long do you think this'll take? I wonder..."
This time Artemis chose not to even bother responding.
"Hey, are you listening to me?" Minako demanded as she walked towards him and thrust
a finger in his face. "These are important decisions, you know!"
"Why don't you let the others decide what you should do?" he offered.
A second later, she nodded. "Aha! I'll just let the others decide. I am such a
genius!" With a grin she winked at her cat so the joke was apparent.
The white cat looked stupified for a brief moment, amazed that Minako was able to
make a joke correctly, but he recovered and winked back.
As Minako wandered off again, Artemis decided that next time when he was finished
discussing top secret plans involving his charge, he would just wait outside until he was
sure that she was awake. Luna had probably not been home for long when the call came to
Usagi, so whatever the others might do with the information he'd passed on, they probably
hadn't had time to do anything about it yet.
"Then again," he muttered to himself, "I guess if Minako really is going to change
so often..."
He shook his head, scolding himself for worrying about something so petty, while at
the same time still being curious as to what the others were going to be able to do. As he
spent most of the time with Minako, he was as aware as anyone of how lonely she was. He
hoped the TV thing would work out, otherwise she'd be crushed.
"What are you staring at?" she asked as she came back in to find the cat looking
intently at the wall.
"Oh, nothing, just thinking," he said, deadpan.
"About what?"
"Nothing."
Minako sighed and shook her head, causing her hair to bounce back and forth.
"Artemis, you're such a male."
***
Tap-tap-tap!
From her seat on the steps, Minako heard her front door knocking.
"Come on in!" called out the Senshi of Love cheerfully.
The door opened slowly, revealing her four friends and Luna standing there. She
blinked at the sight. "Do you guys ever go anywhere without one another?"
The four looked at one another, then shrugged.
"Not really."
Silently, Minako resolved to herself yet again to get a boyfriend, because then she
would be part of the gang again, and not some second-rate girl who can't even get a
boyfriend no matter how hard she tries! (In typical Minako style, reality was so far off
in the distance that it could only barely be seen.)
"We're glad you invited us here, Minako-chan," Usagi declared as the group headed
inside to take seats in the living room.
"Yeah! We want to help however we can before you go on TV," Makoto added.
"If you don't look good, WE don't look good." Rei nodded for emphasis, then blinked
as she thought about it, and scowled, daring anyone to challenge her.
Ami didn't, of course. "I'm sure it's exciting to get to be on TV again," she
offered. "I wish I could be on TV. Not to find a boyfriend of course, but...
oh, I'm sorry, Minako-chan, I didn't mean to..."
For a brief second, Minako's face looked sad, but she twisted it into a smile for
the sake of her blue-haired friend. "No, no, it's okay, Ami-chan. That's why I get to be on
TV in the first place. Isn't it?"
From her perch on Usagi's shoulder, Luna cleared her throat. "So, do you know who
the three bachelors are going to be beforehand?"
"I don't even get to know their names until afterwards!" The blonde shrugged. "I
guess that's just in case the contestant knows any of the bachelors."
Usagi's eyes lit up. "Hey, maybe we can watch on TV and talk to you during breaks
with our comm-"
The white cat striding down the stairs cut her off. "I don't think that will be
necessary, Usagi. It would defeat the purpose of the 'blind date', after all... wouldn't
it?"
To herself, Luna noted that Artemis sounded like he knew more than he was letting
on, although this was probably lost on everyone who didn't meet with him that morning.
"Yes, that is true, Artemis. I'm sure Minako will make out just fine."
"Making out isn't part of the show, Luna! That's what I'll do on the date after!"
CRASH!
Everyone who wasn't Minako vaulted to the floor.
"Er... what I meant to say was... uh..." She blushed and fiddled with her thumbs as
she tried to continue.
"Let's just get started with helping Minako-chan pick out her outfit, ne?" The
suggestion was Ami's, because she though she liked Minako a lot, she didn't feel like
spending her entire day indulging the love Senshi's insanity.
"Right! Because time is a virtue!" Minako exclaimed, with all confidence that she
had the correct saying. Her response was six groans. "What? Was it something I said?"
The reply was simultaneous. "Never mind, Minako-chan."
***
Elsewhere in Tokyo, a meeting mandated by the traditions of the TV's Blind Date show
was taking place between the three males who would be the contestants on the game the next
day.
Apparently, ever since they had that streaker back in the third episode, the
producers decided it would be best to meet with the male contestants before each show to
make sure they understood the rules and the regulations, what was okay to do and what
wasn't okay to do, and to make sure that they wouldn't try and kill one another on the
show, like what happened three months ago when they tried to have twins be the female
contestants and the one guy who didn't get picked flipped out.
Needless to say, the producers didn't try THAT stunt again.
Asai grinned in amusement as he read over some of the stuff in the packet they had
handed to him when he came. He'd watched the show before, but he never realized that so many
bloopers could occur.
The two other guys who were going to be on the show with him seemed nice enough. One
was a bookish type, and he was only on there because his friends bet him that he couldn't
make it onto the show if he tried. Asai supposed that probably wasn't the best of reasons to
audition, but as he thought about it, for a hundred-thousand yen he'd sure give it a shot.
The nerdy guy's name was Tsubasa, and though at first it seemed like he might do something
outrageous, really he was just there for the same reason as Asai, for a shot at a date with
a nice girl, and both of them could respect that.
It never occurred to Asai that the girl they would put on might be a complete and
total bitch, but lucky for him that wasn't going to be a problem.
On the other end of the spectrum was the second guy, who insisted that everyone
refer to him as "Tama" because he was "too cool" for his real name. From what he said about
himself, he played football - the weird American version - and he was built like it. The guy
was tall for someone from Japan, and muscular. He said he was there because he was sure the
girl would be a cheerleader who would fall into his arms and give him whatever he wanted.
Asai wanted to punch the guy in the face, but then he'd lose his shot at the mystery
girl, which wouldn't do at all, so he promised himself that he would tolerate the punk.
The producer was saying something to them, so he looked up from the packet and
paid attention.
"We can't tell you what the actual questions are, because that would ruin the
surprise, but if you come with me, we'll sit out in the studio how you'll be tomorrow and
run through a couple of mock questions. Okay?"
The volleyball player and Tsubasa nodded their acquiescence.
"I don't see why we're bothering, it's obvious I'm going to get the girl," Tama
proclaimed triumphantly.
The others, including the producer, all rolled their eyes at this and said nothing.
"If you'll follow me, then..."
The producer, who still hadn't offered a name for himself, led the three teens
through the building and towards the studio, which was appropriately enough behind a door
labeled "BLIND DATE STUDIO". Only a few of the lights were on in the place, but it still
gave the brown-haired young man a sense of wonder, that he was really on the set of the
show.
It was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time for Asai. He'd seen the studio lots
of times on his TV screen, but never up close and personal, with the viewing area being as
much as his eyes could see. He paused for a moment, taking in the sights of the room.
To the left was where the audience sat. Smaller than he pictured, so he figured that
they probably added canned laughter and applause on top of the live stuff. Then in front of
him, a big open space on the floor. The next day, there would be cameras aplenty in that
space, he knew. And finally, to the right, the set for the show.
Though it wasn't quite the same with the room dimly lit, he could see the chairs
where the guys would sit, the huge screen between the three of them and the girl, the podium
where Zenjirou-san would stand and ask all of the questions and make corny jokes. He could
almost picture the girl who would be sitting on the other side the next day...
Same as before, it was the voice of the producer that brought him out of his
reverie. "Tama, you will be bachelor number one."
"That's because I'm number one!" Tama replied in what Asai realized was his normal
arrogant manner.
"Tsubasa will be bachelor number two, and Asai will be bachelor number three. Any
questions?"
Three heads shook in the negative.
"Cool. Take your places then. I'll pretend to be Zenjirou for the time being," the
producer instructed. Tama confidently strode to the closest chair to the screen, Tsubasa
timidly walked towards the one in the middle, and Asai casually strolled to his assigned
chair.
"Excuse me, Mr. Producer, but I don't think your hair is silly-looking enough for
you to pretend to be Zenjirou-san," the volleyball player noted as he sat down.
At this the producer laughed, the first time any of them had heard him do so. "Yes,
yes indeed, Asai!" He laughed some more and gestured like he was clapping Asai on the back
across the distance. "A sense of humor, I like that, and I think our bachelorette will like
it as well!"
Asai smiled as he thought to himself, 'This certainly bodes well.'
The producer tossed back his head and began talking in a voice that was obviously a
mockery of the one that belonged to the goofy, buck-toothed Zenjirou. "Welcome back to TV's
Blind Date, everyone! Now that we've found out what happened to last week's happy couple,
let's get on to the best part of the show - where our lovely bachelorette picks one of the
three bachelors we introduced earlier, to go on a date!" He grinned stupidly and looked to
where the audience would be to applaud.
Continuing the silliness, the producer moved over to where the female contestant
sat, threw his voice like a female, and said, "Bachelor number one, if you were to take me
on a date..."
***
She came down the stairs for the umpteenth time that afternoon like it was a model's
runway. And at the present she was dressed almost as skimpy as some of those professional
models would be on the runway, wearing a black t-shirt that said "GIRL" on it in white
writing that was just a bit too short to cover up the purple booty shorts going with it.
For the umpteenth time that afternoon she looked at her friends with a hopeful
expression as she asked, "What do you guys think?"
And for the umpteenth time her friends replied, "It's not really good for TV,
Minako-chan."
For the umpteenth time she sighed and wondered what her friends would know about TV
outfits as she trudged back up the stairs.
Minako never suspected that they just kept sending her back so they could conspire
behind her back.
"How are we going to get this old lady's number to call her?" Makoto inquired.
"Artemis, do you know it?"
"Do I look like I use the phone very often?" the white cat replied sarcastically.
At this, Luna laughed until everyone stared at her and she realized she was the only
one who was laughing. When she had settled down she cleared her throat as a hint to steer
the conversation back on topic.
"Perhaps one or two of us should go visit the old woman and explain ourselves,"
suggested Ami after she had given the matter some thought.
"I'll go!" exclaimed Usagi.
"No!" cried five voices. Then when Usagi looked like she was going to cry, Rei put
a hand on her shoulder and said, "What we meant, Usagi-chan, is that we will probably do
this on the weekend, and we know how you like to go out with Mamoru-san on weekends."
The other four sighed in relief, as it was apparent the disaster was averted when
Usagi nodded and smiled. "Okay! You and Ami-chan will go, then?"
Everyone silenced when they heard one of the stairs creak, and looked over to see
Minako coming down the stairs again, this time wearing a pair of capri pants with a blue and
white flower pattern, and a blue and yellow plaid button-down shirt. "What are you guys
talking about?"
"Nothing, Minako-chan," Makoto said nervously, though Minako didn't notice this.
"Okay," the single one smiled. "So what do you think of this one?"
"I don't really like the colors of that shirt," Ami admitted, truthfully responding
for once.
"You'd look so cute if you had some purple in those flowers, Minako-chan," the
Shinto priestess added. "Do you have anything like that?"
Minako's eyes lit up and she beamed brightly at them. "I've got just the thing! I'll
be right back!" She bounded back up the staircase quickly, as excited as the rest of them
that things could finally be finished.
The girls huddled their heads together once she was out of sight.
"OK," Makoto summarized, "so Ami-chan and Rei-chan will go visit this old lady and
find out what she can to do help us set Minako-chan up with some guy."
"I think we've got a plan," Rei said with a lopsided grin.
"Good. We can get started as soon as Minako-chan is off of the show, Rei-chan." The
raven-haired Senshi nodded her agreement to Ami's plan.
"This is the one, don't you guys think?" Minako squealed as she ran down the steps.
She showed off what she and everyone else hoped would be the final outfit she would
show them. Like Rei said, purple would indeed look more cute on her, and so she came down
with a long khaki skirt with white and purple flowers embroidered on the bottom, and a solid
purple button-down shirt opened to reveal a skin-tight white tank top.
"It's a winner, Minako-chan," Usagi said gleefully, speaking for everyone.
"Great! You're all staying to help me pick out shoes, right?"
Five faces upended and landed on the floor.
"Right?"
***
COUNTDOWN: T-MINUS NINE HOURS
That morning Minako awoke like she had done every other morning, if you discount the
fact that it was nothing at all like what she had done any previous morning, ever.
Artemis thought about it as he watched Minako rise out of bed right when her alarm
went off, and he realized that it was directly in between what usually happened, and what
had happened the day before. Whereas usually she would slam down the snooze button for
another thirty minutes, and the day before she was completely and totally hyper once she was
awakened, he watched her as she calmly went about her usual routine, right on the schedule
she had planned out.
"I've got to be at the studio by three, so they can make sure I look okay and tell
me the rules and stuff before I go on the air at six," his charge informed him the previous
night. "So I'm getting up at nine and leaving the house by two."
It was more organized than he had ever seen her, and it made him quite proud to know
that she had finally listened to all of his advice, despite the fact that it had been about
a year since she really needed it to fight anything.
Everything she did that morning was methodical, which the cat had to admit to
himself was the exact opposite of what he was expecting, given the girl's track record. The
irony was not lost on Artemis, although he was a bit annoyed at the time she chose to
finally start acting like her position.
Then again, even that bubble was burst once it was about one o'clock and Minako was
completely ready to go to the studio, but didn't want to leave for another hour. Instead of
being in her room, they were downstairs on the couch as the blonde girl panicked about what
might go wrong on the show.
He might not have been disappointed except she was worrying about the silliest
things.
"What if a camera blows up and the show can't finish?" she asked in a panicked
voice. "What if the guy that I pick turns out to be some dork?"
"I'm glad to see you're so concerned about others' health, Minako-chan," he noted
dryly.
"What if the ceiling falls on my head in the middle of the show?" The blonde
continued as if Artemis hadn't even spoken. "Or what if I accidentally flash the camera, or
who knows what else?"
"It seems like you're worrying too much about nothing."
"Maybe." She looked over at him and regarded him with a skeptical look. "You know
what they say, though. Semper fiddles."
The cat shook his head and held back a laugh. "Indeed."
"Are you going to watch the show today, Artemis?"
"Yes, Minako-chan, I'm going to watch it from Usagi-chan's." He replied. "I know I
don't sound like it sometimes, but I wish you the best in finding a nice boyfriend." To
himself, he added, 'Because otherwise I'll never hear the end of it...'
Her eyes lit up as she smiled brightly and leaned over to scratch Artemis behind
the ears. "Thanks, Artemis. That really made my day. And I've still got to go on the
show!"
"Any time." The cat told her with as much of a sincere look as a cat can mimic.
With that, Minako stood up and smiled wider. "I think I'm going to go to the studio
now. There's no point in staying here." Seeing Artemis' hurt expression, she hastily added,
"No offense."
"Okay..." Artemis replied as she turned to head off. "Good luck!"
And with that she was gone to become a TV contestant.
***
T-MINUS EIGHTY-TWO MINUTES
Not for the first time, Minako decided that the woman who had been fussing over her
hair and her make-up since she had arrived was probably going through a mid-life crisis.
The blonde could tell that the woman had died her hair, probably to hide some gray, and
she kept treating Minako like a daughter. Being the Senshi of Love, it was obvious to
Minako that the woman was lonely, but what could she do?
"Lass, whichever boy ye choose, ye're gonna knock 'is socks right off," the woman,
Maeve, told her with a smile as she took a brush and yanked through Minako's hair for
what seemed like the thousandth time in the last hour.
"Thank you, Maeve-san," Minako said timidly, as she was intimidated a bit by the
Irish woman. When she looked into the huge mirror in front of her that was lined with
pictures of previous female contestants of the show, and saw that the woman was still
smiling, she realized that she was just creeped out by the bonny Irish lady.
Though she didn't know it, she wasn't the first.
"Now look this way and let me put some more make-up on ye..."
The soon-to-be contestant zoned out into her own thoughts, not even consciously
listening to the commands of the woman but obeying them nonetheless.
***
T-MINUS FIFTY-SEVEN MINUTES
Not for the first time, Asai decided that the producer of TV's Blind Date was a
pretty cool guy. The three male contestants had all been instructed to arrive before four
in the afternoon through a side entrance, so there was no chance that any of them would run
into their potential blind date and she into them. Since they knew that if they saw her,
they would be thrown off the show, not even Tama thought it was worth taking chances.
He was very nervous about being on the show, and he knew that Tsubasa was, too,
despite the fact that the bookish boy was there as a joke in the first place.
"Bob's your uncle, eh?" The older man asked Tama as the jock shifted uncomfortably
on the other side of the room.
Tama scowled as he leveled a glare at the producer. "Who the fuck is Bob?" Asai
frowned at the use of the vulgar phrase.
"He's your uncle," replied the producer without missing a beat. Then he laughed when
the response he got was a look bordering between confused and enraged. Asai and Tsubasa
joined in the laughter. Though it did seem to Asai like the nerd was laughing harder, so it
must have been some joke he did not understand.
After a brief pause, the producer continued, "I hope I don't hear that from you on
the air. This isn't some American talk show here."
His response, not surprisingly, was a growl from Tama, but a nod accompanied it. The
producer wasn't worried. Some people just needed frightened into compliance, and it appeared
Tama was one of them.
"I've go talk to our lovely female contestant now, fellas," the man said as he
winked so that it appeared it could be directed at any of the three boys. "I'll be back
before it's time for you to take your places, don't worry!"
"Thanks again, Mr. Producer!" Asai called out as the man walked to leave.
"Any time, my boy. Any time."
***
T-MINUS THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES
Not for the first time, Minako found herself wondering why going on TV required so
much work. Sure, she didn't expect it to be done in an hour, but three hours was getting
pretty ridiculous.
"Finished!" Announced Maeve the Make-up Lady.
"It looks great, Maeve-san," Minako told her as she admired her face and hair in
the mirror. And it was true, but that didn't stop the blonde from letting out a sigh of
relief that she could finally be away from the crazy woman.
As she watched in the mirror, she noticed the older woman was about to say
something, but right at that moment, the show's producer walked in.
'Freedom!' shouted Minako inwardly.
"As always, wonderful work, Maeve," the producer proclaimed with a smile as he
admired the job done to the contestant on his show.
"You are too kind, Jack," replied Maeve with a slight blush.
The Senshi of Love almost had to reach up and hold her head, so loud was her 'love
sonar' that she had perfected over time going off. After all, she'd been at the whole
matchmaking thing for quite some time now, so she had lots and lots of practice. And this,
she decided, was one that was worth pursuing.
The excitable woman hurried out of the room with all of her supplies, though, and
left Minako alone with the producer and her thoughts that she would have to do something
about later. After all, no matter how desperate she was to find a boyfriend, she still was
V-chan, the Ai no Senshi!
"Ready for your big appearance, Minako?" The producer asked, the completely unaware
look on his face almost making her laugh.
"You bet I am!" she exclaimed as she flashed a V-sign at him. "Finally, in a little
more than an hour, Aino Minako and her amazingly fabulous search for a boyfriend will draw
to a close!"
As he watched the girl go through her spiel, the producer mentally patted himself on
the back for this choice, because she seemed to have just the right energy to be on the
show.
"Have you got your three questions memorized in the order you want to ask them?"
"Of course, and they're on a card for Zenjirou-san to make a bad joke about..."
With a laugh the producer took the card and looked over it.
***
T-MINUS TEN MINUTES
Not for the first time, Asai stared at the rapidly gathering audience in awe. When
he was in the studio the day before, it seemed like there were so few seats. But now that
they were filling up it was a completely different story entirely.
"Yeah, like having people watching will make me any more nervous than I already am,"
he muttered to himself. Tsubasa must have heard him, because the other boy nodded.
He tried to tell himself that it didn't matter, because nobody that he knew was
watching the show, and it wasn't like the girl was ever going to see his performance on
the show after she picked him. But that wasn't really worth much, because he knew that in
less than ten minutes, people all around Japan would be tuning in to watch him compete for
a date with the lovely lady of the week.
A sudden squeal jolted him back to attention as he noticed a mob of people swarm
around Zenjirou-san as the host of the show walked in.
"Zenjirou-san! Can you get autographs for us?" shouted one.
"I'd love to, but let me get a p-" the host started.
"No, no, Zenjirou-san, we want you to get autographs from Sana-chan and give them to
us!" another exclaimed.
The buck-toothed game show host gave a sigh as he burst into a melodramatic episode
that was quite typical for him when cameras were not following him. "Oh, woe is me! Why do
I always work so hard, only to be outshone by Sana-chan? Will there ever be mobs of cute
young girls screaming for Zenjirou-san? Will they ever ask for my autograph?"
"I don't think so, if you keep crying while they stand around you," noted the
producer, who seemed to appear from nowhere wearing a smirk on his face.
"You think so?" the host asked through a glum expression.
His reply was a nod that barely contained the smirk.
"Then, I'll work twice as hard as everyone else, just to win some fans!"
Inwardly the producer sighed. 'The more things change, the more they stay the same.'
***
T-MINUS SIX MINUTES
Not for the first time, Minako stared from behind a curtain at the gathering
audience and realized that it had been far too long since she had been in front of an
adoring group of fans.
"Finally, Minako has come back to television!" she muttered to herself.
***
T-MINUS THIRTY-TWO SECONDS
Not for the first time, the producer shouted, "Places, everyone!" and the various
techies scrambled about to their cameras and sound booths, the audience grew quiet, and
Zenjirou ran a hand through his hair as he stood up on the host's podium.
***
T-MINUS ZERO SECONDS
Not for the first time, Usagi squealed. "The show's coming on! The show's coming
on!" she called out to her friends.
Ami, Rei, and Makoto, who were in the kitchen of Usagi's house helping themselves
to some snacks, came running in right as the theme music to the show kicked in. The
camera panned across the audience first as the logo for the show displayed on the
screen, then it disappeared for a second for a shot of the three male contestants.
Ami suddenly gasped as she looked at the one on the right in particular. "Oh my
God! One of the contestants is Asai!"
***
The entire studio hung in anticipation for Zenjirou to shout what was fast
becoming a household phrase. "Llllllllladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's
episode of TV's Blind Date!"
Screaming and clapping ensued from the enthusiastic audience that seemed to
consist almost entirely of teenage girls. Not that this was a departure from the
normal audience of the show.
"Are you ready to meet today's contestants?" continued the host, although he was
entirely drowned out to the audience in the studio by screaming. Fortunately the sound
men heard him so they could cue the proper camera cuts. "Right now our female
contestant is in a sound-proof booth backstage, so there is no chance that she will
accidentally recognize one of our male contestants!"
More screaming. Nobody even knew why.
Once the crowd had settled down, Zenjirou guffawed for no apparent reason,
looking more ridiculous than most would because of his dental situation. But of course
he was oblivious to this, so he plugged on.
Off to the side, a drum roll kicked in. "Our first contestant is Bachelor Number
One! His name is Tama, he plays the American version of football, and he's looking to
exploit the beauty of a young girl for his own ends!" Applause and squealing.
Somewhere, the producer was shaking his head.
The drum was a bit louder when Zenjirou continued, "Our second contestant is
Bachelor Number Two! His name is Tsubasa, he's got the first one hundred decimal
places of pi memorized, and he's looking for an intellectual girl who can appreciate
the ironies of life!" This time there was a brief pause while there was a collective
blink and shrug from the girls in the audience before the cheering, squealing, and
clapping ensued.
The studio drummer kicked the volume up another notch, the sign for the host
to continue on to the last contestant. "And our third contestant is Bachelor Number
Three! His name is Asai, he plays volleyball at Juuban High School, and he's looking
to meet the girl of his dreams!"
This time the girls in the audience sighed en masse before they applaused and
squealed, most likely because they were looking for romantic boyfriends themselves,
and naturally the idea of a girl of someone's dreams would appeal to such a person.
"And now, our female contestant will come on stage! We can't have her tell you
anything about herself, of course, but she has given us some information that we will
display on the screens for you in the audience or watching around Japan! Let's give a
Blind Date welcome for today's bachelorette!"
To cheers, hoots, howls, and other sorts of ecstatic noises, Aino Minako made
her grand reappearance on TV. She came out from a door on the opposite side of the
studio than where the guys came in, and took her place on the seat on her side of the
big screen.
On the TV's that could be seen by everyone except for the three male contestants
a few things displayed about her:
NAME: Aino Minako
AGE: 16
LIKES: Helping people fall in love
LOOKING FOR: Boyfriend, period.
When the applause died down finally, Zenjirou spun to face the audience, his
greased hair not moving one bit.
"Before we get on with the trial of the three bachelors, let's find out what
happened to last week's happy couple, right?" The host smiled as he turned to face
one of the TV screens that were now playing footage from a tape of the date of the
previous week's couple.
The tape came on just in time to see a young woman at a nice restaurant stand
up and shout, "I HATE YOU!" and throw her glass of water at a nicely-dressed young
man who appeared to be her date. He responded in a similar fashion, flicking several
pieces of food from his entree at the girl as he screamed, "YEAH?! WELL I HATE YOU
TOO, SO THERE!"
It began to escalate from there, with more types of food being thrown back
and forth and other patrons at the restaurant who were hit by stray bits of food
getting involved. The screens cut away from that tape not long after that, going back
to Zenjirou in the studio, who was staring away off the camera for about ten seconds
before he realized he was on the TV he was looking at.
"Isn't it great to see two young lovers getting along?" he offered with a
sheepish grin. Back in the sound room, the producer added a laugh track after the
line so the audience got the idea and joined in on the laughter. Thanks to this quick
effort none of the contestants found out about what happened, so they couldn't be
unnerved by a horror story of what might happen.
"Time sure flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?" he continued when the
laughter was finished. "It's time to take a commercial break, but don't worry, when we
get back, our lovely contestant will begin to narrow down her search for a date!"
Music and applause kicked in as the Blind Date logo appeared on the screens,
and then the show cut away to commercials.
***
At Usagi's house, nobody was really paying attention to the parts of the show
that didn't deal with either Minako or Asai directly. Ever since Ami recognized the
young man and reminded the others about what she knew about him, they had all been very
excited. Even further, they noticed that it seemed like Artemis was hiding something
from them, so when the commercial break came on, they were ready to start grilling him
for answers.
"You've got to know something more about this guy!" Rei exclaimed in
exasperation after Artemis claimed to know nothing yet again. "This is not just any
old guy!"
The cat flicked his tail and looked up at the ceiling, trying (and failing) to
assume a sort of dignified, "I'm too good for this" expression.
The failure probably had something to do with the fiery Senshi grabbing him and
holding him up by the tail.
"Ow! Okay, okay, you got me, I'll talk!" Artemis pleaded.
"Wimp," sniffed Luna as Rei let him down.
"Spill it," commanded Rei. "Now."
Artemis looked like he was going to try to play dumb again, but Rei looked like
she was going to yank his tail again so his resolve crumbled quickly. "It's so
coincidental, you probably won't even believe me."
"Hey, we spent two years battling the worst baddies in the universe, we can
handle a little coincidence," chimed in Makoto, her voice indicating that her
patience level was at or around zero.
"Well..." the lone male amidst a veritable sea of estrogen swallowed. "In a
way it's simple. You know the old woman you were talking about earlier, right?"
The others all nodded their heads, and Ami's face lit up in recognition.
"That's Asai's grandmother. She's blind, so I've talked to her before, and
she has no clue that I'm a cat."
"You're kidding," Rei said in disbelief.
The cat grumbled, "I told you that you wouldn't believe me."
"It's okay, Artemis, I believe you," said Ami as she reached in to pet the
cat. "In a way it actually makes sense. Minako has sometimes claimed she feels like
a plaything of the kami, and this only proves it."
Usagi blinked. "How?"
Ami was about to explain, but then the show came back on TV. "Never mind,
remind me later and I'll explain," she said hastily. "But either way, Rei and I have
to meet this woman even more than we did previously."
***
"Welcome back, everyone!" exclaimed Zenjirou over huge applause as the show
came back on. "Now that we're back, it's time to get moving on to what everyone
came here to see, shall we? Bachelorette, are you ready to play Blind Date?"
"Sure am, Zenjirou-san!" Minako said cheerfully as she flashed a V-sign to the
camera.
"Audience, are we ready?"
"YEAH!" came the universal shout.
"Then let's play!" Zenjirou said with a grin. "As always, our bachelorette
will ask two questions to each of the bachelors, then pick one that she does not
want to date. Then, she'll ask one more questions to the remaining two bachelors,
and pick which one to date!" He pointed at Minako to signal the change in control.
Lights flashed on Minako and she seemed to be shining from all of the
attention. With a smile, she leaned up in her chair and said in a sing-song voice,
"My first question is this: 'If you were to be the one I choose, where would you take
me for our first date'?" She emphasized the word 'first' which caused a mix of "oohs"
and squeals from the audience. Then she turned to face the screen, because that's what
the contestants always did. "Bachelor Number One?"
On the other side of the screen, Tama had a look of pure confidence on his face,
as he answered haughtily, "Probably to a quiet hillside, if you know what I mean."
The other three contestants were equally repulsed by that particular answer,
but it seemed like the audience ate it up. Minako gaped for a second, but recovered
and managed to say, "I see. Bachelor Number Two?"
As the cameras shifted over to Tsubasa, he seemed like he was going to panic
for a second. But he got control of himself, gulped, and replied in a quiet voice,
"I think I'd take you to a chess competition. Those are very exciting." Laughter from
the audience, although he was purely serious.
'One jackass and one super nerd... I hope this isn't a lesser of two evils kind
of thing,' Minako thought to herself grimly. "That sounds... different," she replied
diplomatically. "Bachelor Number Three?"
For some reason that Asai didn't really quite know, he had been sure that one
of the questions the girl was going to ask would be this one. He'd been thinking about
a reply to that question for a while, and so when the cameras moved to him, he
replied with certainty, "I would take you out to a nice restaurant for dinner before
going to see a movie that you pick."
'Why does that voice sound familiar? Oh well, he's nice enough.' She grinned
as the audience clapped some more and she realized just how silly some girls could be.
"Very gentlemanly."
"One question down, one question to go!" interjected Zenjirou. "Which bachelor
will be the first one gone? Audience, pick up your pads from the seat in front of you
and choose now!"
There was a fifteen-second window while people keyed in their choices, then the
results displayed across Japan:
#1: 11%
#2: 52%
#3: 37%
A lesson that stupid people in large groups should not be underestimated.
To add to suspense and to reduce the likelihood of unpleasant events on the air,
the contestants were not made privy to the results of this vote. Zenjirou signaled back
to Minako, who continued, "My second question is this: If you were to find a purse on
the ground and inside of it was a million yen, what would you do with it? Bachelor
Number One?"
"I'd keep it," scoffed Tama. "Finders keepers, losers weepers, and all."
'Jerk', Minako decided. "Thank you, Number One. Bachelor Number Two, what would
you do?"
"I'd look inside and see if it belonged to anyone," Tsubasa replied, a little
less nervous than before, "and if I couldn't find any ID or names, I'd keep it."
'Better than most people would do,' the blonde admitted to herself. "Very nice
of you, Number Two. Bachelor Number Three, how about you?"
The volleyball-playing young man hadn't seen this question coming, but still he
knew the answer easily, because that was the way he was. "I'd turn it in to the
authorities, and if nobody claimed it then I would get to keep it," he replied.
Inwardly, Minako was pleased, but she had to keep that hidden. "Thank you, Number
Three!"
A drumroll started again as Zenjirou cut in, "Well, Bachelorette, are you ready
to send one of these three specimen home empty-handed?"
"I think I can manage to pick one," she said sarcastically.
"Let's hear it!"
"Bachelor Number Three seems like a very nice guy, so much that I almost wonder
why he's single in the first place. Bachelor Number Two seems unique, but that's not
so bad since I like unique. And then there's Bachelor Number One... who just seems
like an asshole. So Number One can take a hike!" concluded Minako. Cheers came from
the audience as Tama stood up and walked off dejectedly past Minako.
"There's who you chose to send home, Bachelorette! Hope you don't have any
regrets!" Zenjirou cried, then turned to face the clapping audience. "We'll be back
after this break, when our contestant picks one bachelor to date!"
***
The break seemed to pass quickly in the studio. Some techies ran out and removed
the stool that Tama had been sitting on, then spaced Tsubasa and Asai so there wasn't
and empty space.
"Welcome back again, everybody!" said the host. "Are we ready for our
bachelorette to ask her final question and choose her blind date?"
"YEAH!"
"Bachelorette, take it away!"
The girl nodded and smiled. "My final question is the most important question of
all. And here it is: How would you describe the girl of your dreams? Bachelor Number
Two?"
"Oh! Well, that's easy," Tsubasa declared. "My dream girl would have long brown
hair and brown eyes. She'd have glasses. She'd be intelligent and she'd have a sense
of humor. She'd like to read, and she wouldn't care that I'm a huge nerd."
"Sounds like a lovely girl, Number Two. How about you, Number Three?"
Asai had been ruminating on this for a while, considering he had been on a
search for a girlfriend for quite some time. "She'll be beautiful, like a goddess,
with long flowing hair, eyes that sparkle all of the time, and a smile that can
launch a thousand ships. Listening to her voice will be like listening to an angel
singing. She'll laugh at my jokes, and I'll laugh at hers. She will believe in true
love."
Several people in the studio, including many of the audience and Zenjirou, were
sobbing at the lovely description given by Asai.
"That was... wonderful, Number Three," Minako said, stunned. 'It almost felt
like he was talking about me...'
"Are you ready to pick, Bachelorette?" Zenjirou asked once he'd calmed down.
"Yes, I am, Zenjirou." Minako took a deep breath. The drummer started yet
another roll. "My choice to date... is Bachelor Number T-"
She was interrupted by a scream from somewhere in the audience.
"BLIND DATE, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" shouted a despondant male voice. A figure
emerged from somewhere, carrying a gun. Audience members recognized it as the male
from the clip of the previous week's episode.
The cameras all wheeled to face the newcomer as people screamed and ran out
of the studio.
"Hey, what the Hell are you doing here? I was just about to pick my dream
date, you bastard!" Minako shouted.
"Quiet, bitch, or this bullet'll have your name on it!" the young man
shouted back.
"Come on over here, why don't you, and I'll show you who is the bitch!"
she goaded.
Like a moron, the young man dropped the gun and ran over to drub what he
asssumed would be a weak girl. Before he knew what hit him, he was on the ground
cluthing his groin.
"As I was saying, my choice to date is Bachelor Number T-"
"I'm sorry, but we're out of time for today!" Zenjirou said cheerfully.
"Tune in next week when things get back to normal!"
"But wait, I wanted to pick Bachelor Number T-"
"Ja ne, minna-san!"
The cameras cut off, and as the realization that she was the first person
ever to not leave Blind Date with a date, she began to get desperate. Rather than
do the rational thing and go over on the other side of the screen to see who
Bachelor Number Three was, she ran off, sobbing.
Asai was convinced she was going to choose him, but she was already gone by
the time he peeked on the other side of the screen.
"Damn," he muttered.
A hand clapped on his shoulder. He looked over and saw that it was Tsubasa.
"I'm sure you'll see her again," the nerd told him.
"How do you know?"
Tsubasa shrugged. "Hey, you were the one talking about true love. It works
in funny ways, or so everyone tells me."
"I guess it does," Asai admitted, feeling a bit better already. "I'll just
have to keep looking for her. If only I knew her name, or what she looked like..."
***
A couple of hours later, the producer came into one of the back rooms of
the station. It was somewhat dimly lit, and he was really only there to
satisfy his own curiosity. When he got there he found that the make-up woman,
Maeve, was there already.
"You left the note?" both asked at the same time, then blinked.
"I think we've been had," the man noted.
"Mebbe so..."
"Well, uh... do you want to go grab dinner or something? It was a
pretty long day."
"I think I'd like that."
***
That night, Minako wallowed on her bed, deep in the throes of self-pity.
She was more than a bit upset at the events of that afternoon, considering she
had been seconds away from getting a boyfriend but then was thwarted by an angry
contestant from the previous week.
Artemis was in there with her, trying to cheer her up, but it wasn't
worth much to her. What could he know, being a male cat?
"It doesn't help anything if you just sit here, Minako-chan," he said.
She grunted.
"I bet that boy is looking for you, and he can't find you if you're
just in here all of the time."
"Go away."
The cat sighed. So much for all of the progress that had been made, he
noted grimly.
The blonde, who had been staring straight forward for hours, took yet
another look at what was right in front of her. It was a page of a newspaper
sticking out of her waste-basket, that she had been using earlier to sit all
of her make-up on.
She sprang up out of the bed as the significance of what that page
could do hit her.
"That's it!" she exclaimed, the "old" Minako coming back to the
surface. "Aino Minako is hitting the classifieds!"
There was but one thing for Artemis to say.
"Oh, boy."
***
Notes: Well, this chapter really ran away from what was originally planned
for it. When we first thought of the idea to have Minako on a dating show,
we figured it would be something fun to have, but then when I was writing
this and had to do all of this set-up work and a bit of stuff about other
characters sprang up out of nowhere, and it was just like @_@.
Did you spot the borrowed character? It was Zenjirou the host, from the
anime Kodomo no Omocha (Child's Toy). I needed a host for the show and he
stuck in my mind.
Stay tuned next time for insanity revolving around classified ads, as
Aino Minako and Her Amazingly Fabulous Search For A Boyfriend continues!
-End