========
Aino Minako and Her Amazingly Fabulous Search For A Boyfriend
A Minakofic
Authors: Moogle (moogle@fanforce.net)
Kate B (duncan@avenew.com)
========
Though we find our wacky tale racing towards a conclusion, that does not make the characters
we've been borrowing herein any more ours than they were at the start of things. Nor are we
making money, or any of that other stuff that might make fanfiction bad. Cracking down on
fanfiction makes babies cry.
We're PG-13 here, once more. I've not exactly figured out why, but it's better to play it
safe than sorry.
***
When it came down to it, Artemis was pretty darn pleased with himself. Here he was,
sitting in an old woman's house across the street, pretending to be a human since the woman
was blind and knew no better. Not coincidentally, it was also while his charge happened to
be on a date with the woman's grandson - who, not coincidentally, was once saved by his
charge in her hero form.
On top of all of that, it had really been Artemis who had done so much of the work
behind-the-scenes for the whole thing, ever since he accidentally met the woman on that
fateful day when Minako decided to go insane and try to find dogs to walk all over Tokyo. It
had been Artemis who found out about the grandson, Artemis who told the rest of the Senshi,
Artemis who helped plan the "blind" date of that particular evening.
Not that Artemis actually expected to get any credit for any of this. He was well
used to that reality, of being one of only two males in a female-dominated circle of
friends. Especially considering that one of those females happened to be royalty, and that
none of the girls who had boyfriends were willing to take out their mean streaks on those
lucky fellows... which meant the default outlet for such estrogen-induced rages was a
certain white cat. Which meant that an acknowledgment of his recent efforts was highly
unlikely, and he'd simply be scolded again next time he did something perceived as bad
behavior.
The lack of difference between his own treatment by them and the treatment of every
other male cat in the world was certainly not lost on him.
All of this made Artemis' ability to interact with the old woman that much more
liberating.
"So, Arty," the woman said after a few seconds of silence, "you've never quite
explained to me just how you know Minako-chan."
The tone of the old lady's tinny voice would have made Artemis wary, but this was an
old blind woman! What could he possibly have to fear from her? "I've just been keeping an
eye on her for the last few years," he replied. Well, it was truthful, just with a couple of
omitted bits of information. Or maybe more than a couple.
"It must have been a hectic few years," she offered innocently.
"No kidding," the cat came back. "You have no idea how hard it is keeping tabs on a
se- er, seriously active teenage girl and her friends."
He heard a chuckle come from the old woman's direction. He wasn't really looking at
her to see her face. "I can imagine," she said softly. "Remember, I am a grandmother."
Artemis very much wanted to point out that he sort of knew what she meant, having
lived in a kingdom a thousand years ago, but that wouldn't exactly have fit in with the
current conversation. Or really any conversation that he was likely (or unlikely) to have
with the old woman.
Once more his thoughts turned to Minako, as he found himself wondering what sorts of
disasters might befall the young woman who was more of a daughter to him than his own
daughter. Then again, the fact that his daughter was from the future probably had something
to do with that. Back to Minako, he could almost picture debacle after scene after disaster
raining down on the poor girl. Largely because she was Minako. Half of it was beget by her
own klutziness, the other half by what could only be described as an obsession by the kami
to toy with her.
At that moment he looked over at the old woman, who was smiling at him. But it was a
smile that he usually only saw when one of the girls had something they were about to say
that they knew was about to make him very, very uncomfortable. Yes, the cat decided, it was
time to blow that catnip factory.
"I'm very sorry," he began, "but I think I have to get back home, so I can do some
things before Minako-chan gets home and tells me about her date." Close enough to the truth.
Sort of.
The cat jumped down from the chair and padded past the old woman on his way out of
the house. As he walked past her, she reached down and scratched him behind his ears.
"You're such a faithful guardian, Artemis," she said, very amused.
Ah, how good it felt! To be scratched behind the ears, and complimented as a
guardian on top of that!
Artemis took a few more steps before those last couple of thoughts sunk in. The
woman was blind. She had scratched him behind the ears, so she knew he was a cat. She called
him by his full name, and she knew he was a guardian to Minako. Slowly he spun and faced the
old woman, who must have heard him do so because she smiled wider.
The cat hung his head. This was going to take a lot of explaining.
"Oh, boy."
***
Mission VI.V: Real Life's Blind Date
***
He found himself staring at the shaky invitation, and it took him about three
minutes to realize that the shaking he was seeing was the result of his own hands shaking,
not the invitation itself. Which was an odd thing for the young man, as he wasn't really one
to get nervous easily, being an athlete as he was. But he tried to calm himself down. Some
small part of him, however irrational it might be, tried to convince him that some greater
powers were at work here.
No easy task, considering his previous luck, or lack thereof, with girls. Why, he'd
tried to go to clubs looking for girls, and found none. He'd gone on TV's Blind Date, hoping
to be the winner, and that bachelorette didn't get to pick anyone because some psycho ran
into the studio - and the other contestants were sure that she would pick him, too. His
grandmother had tried to get him to call a girl who had put out a newspaper ad, but the dogs
ripped it to shreds except for the last four digits. And his most recent failure, where he'd
filled out his Datamatch form and it was somehow lost.
Asai took a deep, cleansing breath, trying to get all of that nervousness out of his
system. Failing miserably, he settled for putting his shaking hands into his pockets, so
they wouldn't be visible.
"Can I help you, sir?" the hostess asked as he approached the seating podium.
"I'm, uh, looking for the table reserved for K.S." As he said it, he wondered not
for the first time just who K.S. was.
The hostess smiled at him and pointed to a table about nine tables in, next to a
window looking outside. "A young woman has already arrived there, sir. Enjoy your meal!"
A young woman has already arrived there, he repeated to himself. Which meant that
was his date. All he could tell about her was that she had blonde hair, a lot of it, from
that far away. Again trying and failing to restrain his nervousness, he walked towards the
table.
As much as he wanted to get a look at the girl's face as he walked closer, he
couldn't, because it was buried in the menu. But there was one thing that he could see. The
dress that the young woman - whoever she was - was wearing, was the exact dress that he'd
seen when those girls were shopping with him today. Oh, could his luck be so good?
His feet had stopped moving, so he was belatedly aware that he was standing right
next to the table. He nervously cleared his throat, then asked in a soft tone, "Is this the
table reserved for K.S.?"
The young woman lowered the menu a bit, or perhaps it was raised her head a bit.
Asai matched the bright blue eyes he saw there with the unusually long and gorgeous blonde
hair he'd seen earlier as he walked up. He knew without a doubt that Aino Minako was staring
back at him.
The gasp silenced all conversation in the restaurant.
"Asai-kun?" asked the blonde incredulously. She blinked her blue eyes a couple of
times, and Asai could tell that tears were forming.
"Minako-chan," Asai said with no doubt whatsoever in his voice. He gave a smile that
wiped every last bit of nervousness out of Minako's system.
The girl smiled back, achieving the same effect on Asai. "I'm glad it was you," she
whispered as a tear streaked down her cheek.
"Me, too," whispered Asai as he took the seat across from the blonde.
Conversation resumed as normal in the establishment as soon as the young man sat
down in the chair. He picked up a menu and began flipping through it.
Minako silently prayed to every deity from every religion that she knew of that her
amazingly fabulous search for a boyfriend might have finally come to a close.
***
An unusually large cardboard box sat smack in the middle of the dimly-lit street
just around the corner from the Chez Pierre restaurant. Although there were none to be
found, a casual observer might have noticed the unusually large box had several holes in the
sides, and might have noticed that these holes also seemed to have eyes on the other side of
them.
And, since there were no casual observers, or any sort of observers, there was no
one to notice as the unusually large box crept at random intervals through the street, onto
the sidewalk, and up to one of the windows of the restaurant. It moved from window to window
until eventually it settled in front of one of them.
Considering the three occupants of said box and their usually differing goals, it
was some small miracle that the unusually large cardboard box was able to be maneuvered to
that particular window of that particular restaurant. And without the one who usually was
their peacemaker; she opted not to participate in this particular crazy scheme.
"I wonder why Ami-chan didn't want to come?" muttered one of the three.
"Urawa's probably in town," snorted another, with a bit of jealosy evident in her
voice.
"Shh! I'm trying to watch Minako-chan, and I can't see with all of this talking!"
the third admonished in a stage whisper.
The unusually large cardboard box shook a bit as the other two - one blonde- and one
black-haired girl - flipped to the ground. As they sat back up, they noticed Asai sitting
down across from their friend, and all argument silenced.
It wasn't that they were spying on Minako, they just wanted to make sure that
everything went according to plan.
None of them remembered that there was no plan. Which was probably for the better
anyway, as the kami tend to have a generally negative opinion of plans.
***
As Minako discreetly tried to watch Asai look through his menu, she thought back on
the luck that she had experienced since he had arrived. Why, absolutely nothing had gone
wrong ever since he sat down at the table! She didn't reflect on the fact that only about
fifteen seconds had passed, because that was but an insignificant detail in the grand
scheme.
"Hey, it's you! Hey, I know you!"
The voice startled Minako. Somehow, before she turned around to see who the person
shouting was, she had a sinking feeling that the person being addressed was her, and that
she would recognize who she saw when she turned around...
"Yes, it's me, alright," she replied half-heartedly.
A girl with long, brown-gold hair was dragging a short, black-haired girl over
towards her. Brown-gold seemed vaguely familiar to Minako, though she couldn't put her
finger on where she'd seen the girl before; she was too busy thanking the kami that it
wasn't one of her friends, anyway.
"What are the odds of us running into one another again, huh?" Brown-gold asked,
excitedly. "And in a place like this! Both of us with dates!"
Minako noticed Black Hair rolling her eyes, and wished she could do the same.
Instead, she ended up blushing, as she noticed Asai was scrutinizing the conversation. "Fate
is fate, I guess," she said, wincing inwardly at having to use such a corny line.
Brown-gold bobbed her head. "Boy, is it!" she exclaimed, then launched into a very
animated explanation of how she had come from meeting Minako on that bench to where she was
today, on a date with someone at long last.
As much as Minako wanted to be excited for the girl, she felt a growing sweatdrop on
the back of her head because she really wanted to get back to her date with Asai. But she
didn't exactly get an opportunity to say anything considering how fast the other girl was
talking.
Between the four pairs of eyes that belonged to those who were involved in the
conversation in some capacity, not a single one ever noticed the waiter who was carrying
over a pitcher of water, to refill Minako and Asai's glasses before taking their order. And
the one pair of eyes belonging to the waiter never seemed to notice the very exaggerated
gestures being made by the girl standing right next to Minako.
The waiter, clean-cut, well-dressed, perfectly-postured, stepped up and held the
pitcher towards the table. "Water, sir, madam?"
Or at least, that's what he would have asked if the excitable girl standing near
Minako hadn't picked the exact moment the waiter leaned forward to say, "I had been waiting
THIS long!" and throw her arms out as wide as possible. It's what he would have asked if
that particular motion hadn't knocked the pitcher of water right out of his hands and dumped
about half of the contents right onto Asai's lap.
Brown-gold offered a sheepish shrug.
The poor waiter, who, through no fault of his own, had probably just had his
gratuity wiped out to nonexistant levels, tried his best not to miss a beat. "Are you ready
to order, sir, madam?"
***
"If I didn't see it happen, I wouldn't believe it. Stuff like that doesn't happen
to real live people," commented Makoto as she spied through one of the cut-out holes of the
girls' box.
"Unless you're Usagi-chan," Rei added with a smirk. "But then, if you're her, it's
actually your fault."
"Hey! I heard that!" protested their blonde leader.
"I know, that's why it was funny," the priestess shot back.
Usagi's response was a raspberry, which was followed in turn by a raspberry from
Rei. The cycle likely would have continued had Makoto not shushed them.
"Come on. We're here to make sure nothing goes wrong, not argue with one another,"
the brunette admonished. She noticed the other two glaring at her. "What?" Then she recalled
what had just happened and blushed. "Ehhh... I meant from, er, monsters! Yeah, that's the
ticket!"
Three sighs preceded three sets of eyes turning back to watch Minako's long-awaited
date unfold.
***
As it turned out, when she wasn't knocking waiters' water pitchers onto the laps of
Minako's date, and when she wasn't pulling out newspaper ads that Minako had taken out to
attract boys, the brown-gold-haired girl really wasn't all that bad. Minako never got a name
out of her, which was probably for the better anyway. The girl and her date left after the
waiter finally was able to take Minako and Asai's drink orders.
The blonde counted her lucky stars, and whatever other lucky objects that were
available to count, that getting half a pitcher of cold water dumped into Asai's lap wasn't
enough to scare him off. Why, it was almost as if he'd gone through as long of a search for
a girlfriend as Minako had for a boyfriend! But that wasn't possible, she knew, so it must
have been something else.
She must have looked worried, because Asai grinned and said, "Don't worry about it.
Stranger things have happened."
That was true enough, the blonde realized. After all, she was on a date at long
last!
Minako did have to admit that things could be going better. Aside from what she'd
said when she sat down, she hadn't really said anything to him yet. Which wasn't her fault,
it was just that she wasn't sure what to say. She'd spent so much time on her amazingly
fabulous search for a boyfriend that she wasn't sure what to do now that she might have one!
"So, uh," she began tentatively, "how have you been since that last time we talked?"
Mentally she kicked herself for saying such a stupid line.
"Good, I guess," the young man replied sadly. "I've been keeping busy."
Now Minako was ready to kick Asai for offering a statement that so easily killed the
conversation. But fortunately her rational side reminded her that would most likely bring a
quick end to the date, and make her have to launch her amazingly fabulous search for a
boyfriend once more. Not something she wanted to do, at that point.
"Hey, I've been meaning to ask, whatever happened to-"
The question was interrupted by a male voice calling out, "Aino Minako? What a
surprise running into you here!"
The voice was familiar enough to the girl that she didn't immediately rule that it
was some nutcase, though not familiar enough that she recognized Tsubasa before she turned
around and saw who was standing there.
On the other hand, Asai easily recognized the young man, having spent time on a
certain game show with him. "Tsubasa! What are you doing here?"
To say the least, Minako was just a little bit annoyed with the geeky fellow, as it
was he who was in charge of the Datamatch tables, even if she recognized that he wasn't
there when the form couldn't be found. Although she did know the gaijin who stepped out from
behind Tsubasa was that very same girl. Minako flinched, but here was a couple on a date,
and she knew she wouldn't want someone messing her date up on purpose...
"I'm here with Sarah," Tsubasa announced proudly as the gaijin girl stepped forward.
"I guess this is a popular night and place for dates."
A fake smile plastered on her face, Minako replied, "It seems like it." She wanted
to be nice to them, but considering the disaster that came from the last unexpected visitors
to the table, she'd rather just have the rest of the date alone. For romance, of course.
All four of them looked around, none saying a word, silence growing more awkward
every second.
Before walking over to the table, Tsubasa had reminded Sarah not to mention
Datamatch at all, or TV's Blind Date, or any of the other near-misses that the two
doubtlessly experienced on their crazy searches. Needless to say this seriously cut down on
the number of potential subjects to discuss.
Each passing moment caused Minako to lose more of the calm on her face, convinced as
she was that the longer the two visitors stayed, the more likely it was that something would
go wrong.
Seeing that none of the others had anything to say, Tsubasa continued, "Sometimes,
someone is sitting right between your fingers, and all you have to do is realize they're
there."
At this, Sarah giggled, a response that Minako and Asai both assumed was because
Tsubasa was talking about he and Sarah. Neither paid close enough attention to the mirthful
look on the geek's face as he made the observation to divine the true intent of the words.
Out of the corner of her eye, Minako saw their waiter, carrying a tray that seemed
to consist of the appetizers they'd ordered. Panic struck her almost instantly.
Accompanying the panic, time seemed to slow down. Asai's voice registered in slow
motion; her date was offering an agreement to Tsubasa's statement. She also heard the soles
of the waiter's shoes clack against the floor in a lethargic cadence, saw the tray of food
getting closer.
None of the others seemed to notice as sweatdrops grew across Minako's face and she
started pantomiming biting her nails. They did hear her gasp at the very same instant Sarah
reached out to put her arm around Tsubasa - which also coincided with the waiter stopping at
the table adjacent to them, dropping off the appetizers.
Minako tipped sideways out of her chair and landed on the floor.
Asai's gaze shifted to her as she hit the floor. The look of concern on his face
quickly transformed into one of pure shock and embarrassment.
The blonde looked down herself, then looked at Asai and figured out where she was
looking. The blind date couple began blushing at the same time.
Trying oh-so-hard not to start laughing, Tsubasa and Sarah took the moment to bid
their farewells and return to their own table.
"Uh... sorry about that," Minako sheepishly offered.
"It's okay..." murmered Asai, blushing even harder as his mind suddenly began a trek
through the gutter.
Were she aware of Asai's thoughts, in her current state of desperation Minako likely
would have been flattered. Instead, she thought Asai was embarrassed and held her at fault
for what happened. 'I've got a bad feeling about this,' she thought.
***
Outside the restaurant, the sound of three girls laughing rang throughout the
street, emanating from one unusually large cardboard box in particular. The few pedestrians
who were passing by gave the sidewalk a large berth, almost afraid of what might be inside.
The box contained nothing more sinister than the three young women who were
generating such laughter, insofar as sinister relates to spying on a friend as she goes on a
blind date that the same three young women helped set her up with. Not that any of them
would have admitted that they were spying on their friend; rather, they were keeping an eye
out for any random wandering monsters. Which there hadn't been in six months, but that was
entirely irrelevent as far as they were concerned.
It changed in volume once or twice, as they observed Minako's antics with the
approaching waiter, and eventually enough it grew quiet again.
Quiet for a few seconds, at least, before someone decided to start talking so there
was not an awkward silence.
"Minako-chan would kill us if she knew we were doing this," observed Rei immediately
after a conscience attack.
"Who said she had to find out?" asked Makoto. "Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, if you know
what I mean."
"What do you mean?" chimed Usagi.
Both Rei and Makoto sighed heavily. "Never mind," the miko said. "Just don't tell
Mina-chan."
Again the three turned back to watching their friend's date. A few more seconds
passed before the silence was broken. Though, that was only Usagi asking, "Is it just me, or
did Ami just walk past?"
As the silence resumed, Makoto and Rei nodded.
***
It occurred to Minako a few seconds after the pair of sickeningly cute geeks
retreated out of her field of vision, that she and Asai actually hadn't ordered any
appetizers. But this slight oversight was nothing major for Minako - after all, she was
still trying to nail down the end of her amazingly fabulous search for a boyfriend!
Once he'd dropped off the appetizers at the table over, the waiter stopped at her
table to get their actual food orders. Minako said something, but she wasn't even really
paying attention to what the orders were. As he stopped in front of them (coincidentally
enough, the same moment that Usagi noticed Ami and Urawa walking past in the background,)
she suddenly realized that this date was a disaster so far. They'd barely said any words to
one another, and she'd accidentally flashed Asai! At this rate, he'd never want to go on a
date with her again!
That wouldn't do at all, Minako decided. Briefly she allowed herself to wonder what
had ever made her let him get out of her sight in the first place. Which led to a pained
reminder that, after she'd saved his life from the daimon, he'd just gone walking off with
some other girl. Come to think of it, why did she never ask him what that was about? And
why-
"How has the whole saving the world thing gone since that one time?" asked the
young man conversationally.
-in the world was he just now bringing up that he knew she was Sailor Venus? Minako
just gaped at him.
For the first time since before he'd sat down, Asai grinned. "Didn't think I knew,
huh? Well, nobody plays volleyball like you. I could tell from your feet that it was you."
Minako found herself at a loss for words, a rare enough occasion that a more
egotistical part of her mind was convinced that if she called up the presses, they'd make it
a front page article. Whether or not that was true, she still had nothing to say to Asai,
and judging from the smug look on his face, he was quite enjoying it.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anybody. Besides, I've kept the secret this long!" Asai
continued.
Grudgingly, the girl had to concede that this was true. "Just a little surprised,
sorr-"
One interruption, Minako was willing to disregard just to move on with her date.
Two, and she was fairly sure it was some strange coincidence. But when she heard Ami's voice
call out, "Minako-chan! What a popular place this is, huh?", that was just stretching it too
far. The kami were out to get here. There was no other explanation that she could think of.
Not even bothering to stop the twitching of her eyebrow, she turned to face her
friend who had apparently unconsciously sold her out for some future favor with the kami. In
actuality, the first two meetings were nothing more than coincidence, and this third was
arranged by a certain "K.S.", but if one were to tell Minako at that point she most likely
would not have believed it anyway.
"Ami-chan," the blonde said curtly.
"I see you finally caught up to Asai," the genius said with a smile. It almost fell
when she thought about what she'd just said and realized that might be giving things away,
but there was no way that Minako was going to pick up on that.
Then there was Asai, who was slowly starting to put together the puzzle that was
that evening in his mind. "'Caught up to' might not be the best way to phrase it," the young
man said. "Probably more like... stumbled across. In the middle of the darkest parts of the
night, where both of us were blind."
Ami started laughing at the mention of the word 'blind'. As much as she tried to
control herself, she just couldn't do it. "Blind... yes, that is a better way to put it."
As she turned to look from Asai to Minako, she noticed three sets of eyes in the window and
sighed. 'I can't believe they actually did it,' she thought to herself.
Minako had other plans than talking. She was melting. Asai was such a sweetie!
Talking about stumbling across one another as though it was fated or something. Being the
Goddess of Love, she certainly loved the idea of a fated love. If it weren't for the glasses
of water on the table, the candles, and the flowers decorating it, she'd have probably leapt
right across it in a flying glomp.
Failing that, she decided a happy sigh would do. After that, try as she might, she
just couldn't get mad at Ami. She couldn't even make some sort of snide comment about Ami's
romantic life anymore, since most of those were usually jokingly mean, and not even jokingly
could she get mad at her friend anymore. Or so she thought.
Then the waiter appeared again, way off in the distance. With a salad tray. And the
dressing they'd ordered was already on the salad.
This she could tell because of her very acutely attuned disaster sense, something
that she'd picked up quite easily between her time as a Senshi, and, much more recently, the
uphill battle that had made up the entirety of her amazingly fabulous search for a
boyfriend.
Time didn't slow down, not with this appearance of the waiter. There was no point
in it, because Minako knew there was no stopping disaster when the kami decided it was time
to pay her a visit again.
She turned back to face Ami. "So, Ami-chan, you're here with Urawa-kun?" Out of the
corner of her eye, she noticed Asai sit back in his chair, amused. 'What's he grinning
about?' she wondered to herself.
"That's right," Ami replied, suddenly looking a lot less interested in talking to
her friend. "Every girl likes a nice romantic date, Mina-chan."
Minako was fairly certain her evening wasn't going to end the same as Ami's, but she
managed to resist the temptation to make that particular observation.
Likely this had something to do with the appearance of the waiter in her direct
vision. He was still carrying the tray, except now the salads weren't on it. Wait a minute,
that didn't make any sense...
With an almost clinically-detached manner, she observed that the waiter actually
wasn't standing up all the way. That was because, she noticed, someone had scooted their
chair out right in front of him, which he then tripped over. But search as she might, she
couldn't find the two salad plates-
THUNK! THUNK!
As pieces of lettuce fell in front of her eyes and she felt dressing dripping down
her hair, she thought how strange it was that one of the plates would have managed to find
its way right onto the top of her head. She brushed clear her field of view and noticed that
the other plate had landed right on Asai's head. She saw Ami gasp, heard her mutter, "Oh,
Mina-chan, I'm so sorry...", saw her friend retreat back to her own table, sure that Ami
only left to get away from disaster-area-Minako.
Then she started to cry.
***
The tears had yet to stop several minutes later, as the two fledgling whatever-they-
were walked down the sidewalk in the general direction of Minako's house. Asai's jacket,
with a couple of carrot slices and some patches of dressing stuck to it, was draped around
Minako's shoulders so at least she wouldn't get cold. And though neither of them noticed it,
an unusually large cardboard box was following them through the streets.
'At least Minako won't get a cold or something,' Asai thought. "How could this
evening have been such a disaster?" he muttered. No logical explanations came to his mind,
and he wasn't really willing to consider illogical ones because they were nearly infinite
in number.
Minako was certainly quite willing to consider the illogical, namely some sort of
grand cosmic conspiracy punishing her for something she must have unconsciously done and
blocked out of her memory. Maybe she jaywalked at some point. She'd probably done it by
accident, but one never really knows. She kept sobbing some more.
Asai strolled along with his hands stuck in his pockets, completely at a loss as to
how to stop the flow of tears. "Don't cry," he offered. "It's not your fault."
"Yes it is," whispered Minako hoarsely. She continued between sobs, "It's all my
fault. I did something wrong... the kami are punishing me. I know they are."
How was he supposed to argue something like that? It wasn't like he could exactly
disprove a cosmic conspiracy, even if it was an insane thing to suggest. "Come here,
Minako-chan. It's okay."
She looked over at him with bloodshot, tear-filled eyes and sniffed once. "No, it
isn't. It'll never be okay again. You hate me, because it's my fault our date got ruined,
and now I'm never going to have a boyfriend."
Before he was entirely aware of what he was doing, Asai crossed the space between
the two of them and wrapped Minako up in a tight embrace. "No, that's not true at all..."
Minako looked back up at him, blinking tears away. "Why? Why isn't it?" she asked
softly, slowly leaning her head up towards Asai's.
Asai lowered his head slowly towards Minako's. Their lips were almost touching when
he whispered, "Because, I-"
WHUMP!
With a sense of dread filling both of their stomachs, Minako and Asai turned in
unison to see the source of the latest interruption of one of their romantic moments.
Usagi, Rei, and Makoto sat less than fifteen feet away, tangled up amongst
themselves and a cardboard box. Simultaneously all three offered a sheepish wave.
The two about-a-second-away-from-being-lovebirds sighed. Would anything go right
ever again?
***
Once the three girls had been shooed off, promising that neither they nor their
cardboard box would disturb what remained of the date that evening, Asai and Minako
resumed their walk towards Minako's house. Mostly this took place in silence, much to
the dismay of both of them, but neither could think of any words to fit after the
disaster at the restaurant and then being interrupted in the street as something was
about to happen.
As they walked, Asai kept his arm around the girl, though it was certainly an
awkward thing to do when neither of them was saying anything. And Asai knew it wasn't
one of those lovers-don't-need-words things.
He knew that coincidence had been stretched pretty far that evening, but he had
no clue what to chalk all of the coincidences up to until one final thing snapped the
illusion. When they turned a corner and Minako mumbled that it was the street she lived
on, Asai couldn't help but notice it was the street his grandmother lived on. A smirk
crossed his face, but he said nothing out loud. 'I'll have to thank you later, Grandma,'
he thought.
Nonetheless, as rapidly as Asai was piecing together bits and pieces of what had
been a great mystery to him, equally as rapidly was Minako convincing herself that the
evening was a disaster and that it was all her fault. Beyond that, she was blocking
what few good events of the evening that had transpired from her mind.
Subconsciously, her feet carried her up her sidewalk and onto her porch. Only
then did she notice her surroundings and blink out of her pessimistic haze.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I tried my best not to ruin anything, but it all
got ruined anyway."
The young man resisted the urge to sigh. "What's ruined? We did get the promise
of a meal on the house next time we go there," he replied as he ran a hand through
his hair. He was marginally sure that Minako was too busy moping at the point the
maitre'd had come running out with apologies for all that had gone wrong, saying
how it was all his fault. Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Asai had
accepted, hoping he'd be back some day.
"Yeah, right, like we'll ever go back there. Or go anywhere together, ever
again," Minako continued. She was crying again, sobbing every now and then. "It's
all going wrong. It's never stopped going wrong..." Any other words were lost to
the sobs.
"Hey. It's not your fault." With that, Asai leaned in quickly, wanting to do
what he had been about to do earlier before there could be any interruptions-
Their faces could not have been more than an inch apart when they were both
startled by a sudden, high-pitched meow of a cat. As one, they looked upward, only
to have Artemis land right between their faces.
As the white cat stared at Minako with an innocent look, her sadness and
desperation was very quickly replaced with unbridled irritation. She launched him
as far as she could, the scream of "ARTEMIS-BAKA!" following him through the air.
Artemis soared through the Tokyo night sky, only partially curious when he'd
actually end up landing. For a very brief moment he considered regretting his
choice of when to try to sneak out to meet Luna, regretting the leaf on the roof
that he'd slipped on that caused him to fall on Minako and Asai at the worst
possible moment. He considered saying, "Oh, boy", like he always did, except then
he realized that worrying got him nowhere, and beyond that, Minanko was finally
about to have an end to her search.
Besides, he noted, wherever he landed was bound to be closer to the Tsukino
household than he started out!
On the porch of the Aino household, Minako blushed furiously. She just
realized what had been about to happen - then realized that she wanted it to
happen - then realized that any second now there might be an interruption again,
like her mom walking outside, or maybe the Outer Senshi driving by in Haruka's
car, or-
The same realization hit Asai, but since he had a less paranoid mind and
far less potential reasons for things to get screwed up yet again, he moved in
to kiss Minako in the middle of her thinking.
Some time later - it might have been seconds, minutes, or hours, Minako
wasn't entirely sure - they broke for air.
Asai was about to say something romantic, but he was cut off by the
loudest scream he'd ever heard a human make.
Minako raised her head to the sky as she screamed, "Take that, kami! You
tried to stop me, but you couldn't! And now, AINO MINAKO AND HER AMAZINGLY
FABULOUS SEARCH FOR A BOYFRIEND HAS FINALLY ENDED!"
The shout was heard all throughout Tokyo, and seemed to echo for minutes.
It was heard especially by four young women who moonlighted as warriors
for love and justice, two cats, everyone whose lives had been touched by the
blonde as she went about her search, and in particular an old blind woman
across the street.
All throughout Tokyo, these people said as one, "It's about time."
***
As many characters as it made sense to reprise, did so. Actually, more might have
been able to, but that would have flown in the face of the grand dream of the
epilogue that will wrap up all of this insanity.
Now, don't worry, this epilogue won't be like one of Kate's Galactic Sailors
epilogues (incidentally, I think those two mammoths combined are about equal to
the length of this story) - it's more like... well, you'll just have to wait and
see.
The only clue is this one word: "Duh." Stay tuned!
-End
Aino Minako and Her Amazingly Fabulous Search For A Boyfriend
A Minakofic
Authors: Moogle (moogle@fanforce.net)
Kate B (duncan@avenew.com)
========
Though we find our wacky tale racing towards a conclusion, that does not make the characters
we've been borrowing herein any more ours than they were at the start of things. Nor are we
making money, or any of that other stuff that might make fanfiction bad. Cracking down on
fanfiction makes babies cry.
We're PG-13 here, once more. I've not exactly figured out why, but it's better to play it
safe than sorry.
***
When it came down to it, Artemis was pretty darn pleased with himself. Here he was,
sitting in an old woman's house across the street, pretending to be a human since the woman
was blind and knew no better. Not coincidentally, it was also while his charge happened to
be on a date with the woman's grandson - who, not coincidentally, was once saved by his
charge in her hero form.
On top of all of that, it had really been Artemis who had done so much of the work
behind-the-scenes for the whole thing, ever since he accidentally met the woman on that
fateful day when Minako decided to go insane and try to find dogs to walk all over Tokyo. It
had been Artemis who found out about the grandson, Artemis who told the rest of the Senshi,
Artemis who helped plan the "blind" date of that particular evening.
Not that Artemis actually expected to get any credit for any of this. He was well
used to that reality, of being one of only two males in a female-dominated circle of
friends. Especially considering that one of those females happened to be royalty, and that
none of the girls who had boyfriends were willing to take out their mean streaks on those
lucky fellows... which meant the default outlet for such estrogen-induced rages was a
certain white cat. Which meant that an acknowledgment of his recent efforts was highly
unlikely, and he'd simply be scolded again next time he did something perceived as bad
behavior.
The lack of difference between his own treatment by them and the treatment of every
other male cat in the world was certainly not lost on him.
All of this made Artemis' ability to interact with the old woman that much more
liberating.
"So, Arty," the woman said after a few seconds of silence, "you've never quite
explained to me just how you know Minako-chan."
The tone of the old lady's tinny voice would have made Artemis wary, but this was an
old blind woman! What could he possibly have to fear from her? "I've just been keeping an
eye on her for the last few years," he replied. Well, it was truthful, just with a couple of
omitted bits of information. Or maybe more than a couple.
"It must have been a hectic few years," she offered innocently.
"No kidding," the cat came back. "You have no idea how hard it is keeping tabs on a
se- er, seriously active teenage girl and her friends."
He heard a chuckle come from the old woman's direction. He wasn't really looking at
her to see her face. "I can imagine," she said softly. "Remember, I am a grandmother."
Artemis very much wanted to point out that he sort of knew what she meant, having
lived in a kingdom a thousand years ago, but that wouldn't exactly have fit in with the
current conversation. Or really any conversation that he was likely (or unlikely) to have
with the old woman.
Once more his thoughts turned to Minako, as he found himself wondering what sorts of
disasters might befall the young woman who was more of a daughter to him than his own
daughter. Then again, the fact that his daughter was from the future probably had something
to do with that. Back to Minako, he could almost picture debacle after scene after disaster
raining down on the poor girl. Largely because she was Minako. Half of it was beget by her
own klutziness, the other half by what could only be described as an obsession by the kami
to toy with her.
At that moment he looked over at the old woman, who was smiling at him. But it was a
smile that he usually only saw when one of the girls had something they were about to say
that they knew was about to make him very, very uncomfortable. Yes, the cat decided, it was
time to blow that catnip factory.
"I'm very sorry," he began, "but I think I have to get back home, so I can do some
things before Minako-chan gets home and tells me about her date." Close enough to the truth.
Sort of.
The cat jumped down from the chair and padded past the old woman on his way out of
the house. As he walked past her, she reached down and scratched him behind his ears.
"You're such a faithful guardian, Artemis," she said, very amused.
Ah, how good it felt! To be scratched behind the ears, and complimented as a
guardian on top of that!
Artemis took a few more steps before those last couple of thoughts sunk in. The
woman was blind. She had scratched him behind the ears, so she knew he was a cat. She called
him by his full name, and she knew he was a guardian to Minako. Slowly he spun and faced the
old woman, who must have heard him do so because she smiled wider.
The cat hung his head. This was going to take a lot of explaining.
"Oh, boy."
***
Mission VI.V: Real Life's Blind Date
***
He found himself staring at the shaky invitation, and it took him about three
minutes to realize that the shaking he was seeing was the result of his own hands shaking,
not the invitation itself. Which was an odd thing for the young man, as he wasn't really one
to get nervous easily, being an athlete as he was. But he tried to calm himself down. Some
small part of him, however irrational it might be, tried to convince him that some greater
powers were at work here.
No easy task, considering his previous luck, or lack thereof, with girls. Why, he'd
tried to go to clubs looking for girls, and found none. He'd gone on TV's Blind Date, hoping
to be the winner, and that bachelorette didn't get to pick anyone because some psycho ran
into the studio - and the other contestants were sure that she would pick him, too. His
grandmother had tried to get him to call a girl who had put out a newspaper ad, but the dogs
ripped it to shreds except for the last four digits. And his most recent failure, where he'd
filled out his Datamatch form and it was somehow lost.
Asai took a deep, cleansing breath, trying to get all of that nervousness out of his
system. Failing miserably, he settled for putting his shaking hands into his pockets, so
they wouldn't be visible.
"Can I help you, sir?" the hostess asked as he approached the seating podium.
"I'm, uh, looking for the table reserved for K.S." As he said it, he wondered not
for the first time just who K.S. was.
The hostess smiled at him and pointed to a table about nine tables in, next to a
window looking outside. "A young woman has already arrived there, sir. Enjoy your meal!"
A young woman has already arrived there, he repeated to himself. Which meant that
was his date. All he could tell about her was that she had blonde hair, a lot of it, from
that far away. Again trying and failing to restrain his nervousness, he walked towards the
table.
As much as he wanted to get a look at the girl's face as he walked closer, he
couldn't, because it was buried in the menu. But there was one thing that he could see. The
dress that the young woman - whoever she was - was wearing, was the exact dress that he'd
seen when those girls were shopping with him today. Oh, could his luck be so good?
His feet had stopped moving, so he was belatedly aware that he was standing right
next to the table. He nervously cleared his throat, then asked in a soft tone, "Is this the
table reserved for K.S.?"
The young woman lowered the menu a bit, or perhaps it was raised her head a bit.
Asai matched the bright blue eyes he saw there with the unusually long and gorgeous blonde
hair he'd seen earlier as he walked up. He knew without a doubt that Aino Minako was staring
back at him.
The gasp silenced all conversation in the restaurant.
"Asai-kun?" asked the blonde incredulously. She blinked her blue eyes a couple of
times, and Asai could tell that tears were forming.
"Minako-chan," Asai said with no doubt whatsoever in his voice. He gave a smile that
wiped every last bit of nervousness out of Minako's system.
The girl smiled back, achieving the same effect on Asai. "I'm glad it was you," she
whispered as a tear streaked down her cheek.
"Me, too," whispered Asai as he took the seat across from the blonde.
Conversation resumed as normal in the establishment as soon as the young man sat
down in the chair. He picked up a menu and began flipping through it.
Minako silently prayed to every deity from every religion that she knew of that her
amazingly fabulous search for a boyfriend might have finally come to a close.
***
An unusually large cardboard box sat smack in the middle of the dimly-lit street
just around the corner from the Chez Pierre restaurant. Although there were none to be
found, a casual observer might have noticed the unusually large box had several holes in the
sides, and might have noticed that these holes also seemed to have eyes on the other side of
them.
And, since there were no casual observers, or any sort of observers, there was no
one to notice as the unusually large box crept at random intervals through the street, onto
the sidewalk, and up to one of the windows of the restaurant. It moved from window to window
until eventually it settled in front of one of them.
Considering the three occupants of said box and their usually differing goals, it
was some small miracle that the unusually large cardboard box was able to be maneuvered to
that particular window of that particular restaurant. And without the one who usually was
their peacemaker; she opted not to participate in this particular crazy scheme.
"I wonder why Ami-chan didn't want to come?" muttered one of the three.
"Urawa's probably in town," snorted another, with a bit of jealosy evident in her
voice.
"Shh! I'm trying to watch Minako-chan, and I can't see with all of this talking!"
the third admonished in a stage whisper.
The unusually large cardboard box shook a bit as the other two - one blonde- and one
black-haired girl - flipped to the ground. As they sat back up, they noticed Asai sitting
down across from their friend, and all argument silenced.
It wasn't that they were spying on Minako, they just wanted to make sure that
everything went according to plan.
None of them remembered that there was no plan. Which was probably for the better
anyway, as the kami tend to have a generally negative opinion of plans.
***
As Minako discreetly tried to watch Asai look through his menu, she thought back on
the luck that she had experienced since he had arrived. Why, absolutely nothing had gone
wrong ever since he sat down at the table! She didn't reflect on the fact that only about
fifteen seconds had passed, because that was but an insignificant detail in the grand
scheme.
"Hey, it's you! Hey, I know you!"
The voice startled Minako. Somehow, before she turned around to see who the person
shouting was, she had a sinking feeling that the person being addressed was her, and that
she would recognize who she saw when she turned around...
"Yes, it's me, alright," she replied half-heartedly.
A girl with long, brown-gold hair was dragging a short, black-haired girl over
towards her. Brown-gold seemed vaguely familiar to Minako, though she couldn't put her
finger on where she'd seen the girl before; she was too busy thanking the kami that it
wasn't one of her friends, anyway.
"What are the odds of us running into one another again, huh?" Brown-gold asked,
excitedly. "And in a place like this! Both of us with dates!"
Minako noticed Black Hair rolling her eyes, and wished she could do the same.
Instead, she ended up blushing, as she noticed Asai was scrutinizing the conversation. "Fate
is fate, I guess," she said, wincing inwardly at having to use such a corny line.
Brown-gold bobbed her head. "Boy, is it!" she exclaimed, then launched into a very
animated explanation of how she had come from meeting Minako on that bench to where she was
today, on a date with someone at long last.
As much as Minako wanted to be excited for the girl, she felt a growing sweatdrop on
the back of her head because she really wanted to get back to her date with Asai. But she
didn't exactly get an opportunity to say anything considering how fast the other girl was
talking.
Between the four pairs of eyes that belonged to those who were involved in the
conversation in some capacity, not a single one ever noticed the waiter who was carrying
over a pitcher of water, to refill Minako and Asai's glasses before taking their order. And
the one pair of eyes belonging to the waiter never seemed to notice the very exaggerated
gestures being made by the girl standing right next to Minako.
The waiter, clean-cut, well-dressed, perfectly-postured, stepped up and held the
pitcher towards the table. "Water, sir, madam?"
Or at least, that's what he would have asked if the excitable girl standing near
Minako hadn't picked the exact moment the waiter leaned forward to say, "I had been waiting
THIS long!" and throw her arms out as wide as possible. It's what he would have asked if
that particular motion hadn't knocked the pitcher of water right out of his hands and dumped
about half of the contents right onto Asai's lap.
Brown-gold offered a sheepish shrug.
The poor waiter, who, through no fault of his own, had probably just had his
gratuity wiped out to nonexistant levels, tried his best not to miss a beat. "Are you ready
to order, sir, madam?"
***
"If I didn't see it happen, I wouldn't believe it. Stuff like that doesn't happen
to real live people," commented Makoto as she spied through one of the cut-out holes of the
girls' box.
"Unless you're Usagi-chan," Rei added with a smirk. "But then, if you're her, it's
actually your fault."
"Hey! I heard that!" protested their blonde leader.
"I know, that's why it was funny," the priestess shot back.
Usagi's response was a raspberry, which was followed in turn by a raspberry from
Rei. The cycle likely would have continued had Makoto not shushed them.
"Come on. We're here to make sure nothing goes wrong, not argue with one another,"
the brunette admonished. She noticed the other two glaring at her. "What?" Then she recalled
what had just happened and blushed. "Ehhh... I meant from, er, monsters! Yeah, that's the
ticket!"
Three sighs preceded three sets of eyes turning back to watch Minako's long-awaited
date unfold.
***
As it turned out, when she wasn't knocking waiters' water pitchers onto the laps of
Minako's date, and when she wasn't pulling out newspaper ads that Minako had taken out to
attract boys, the brown-gold-haired girl really wasn't all that bad. Minako never got a name
out of her, which was probably for the better anyway. The girl and her date left after the
waiter finally was able to take Minako and Asai's drink orders.
The blonde counted her lucky stars, and whatever other lucky objects that were
available to count, that getting half a pitcher of cold water dumped into Asai's lap wasn't
enough to scare him off. Why, it was almost as if he'd gone through as long of a search for
a girlfriend as Minako had for a boyfriend! But that wasn't possible, she knew, so it must
have been something else.
She must have looked worried, because Asai grinned and said, "Don't worry about it.
Stranger things have happened."
That was true enough, the blonde realized. After all, she was on a date at long
last!
Minako did have to admit that things could be going better. Aside from what she'd
said when she sat down, she hadn't really said anything to him yet. Which wasn't her fault,
it was just that she wasn't sure what to say. She'd spent so much time on her amazingly
fabulous search for a boyfriend that she wasn't sure what to do now that she might have one!
"So, uh," she began tentatively, "how have you been since that last time we talked?"
Mentally she kicked herself for saying such a stupid line.
"Good, I guess," the young man replied sadly. "I've been keeping busy."
Now Minako was ready to kick Asai for offering a statement that so easily killed the
conversation. But fortunately her rational side reminded her that would most likely bring a
quick end to the date, and make her have to launch her amazingly fabulous search for a
boyfriend once more. Not something she wanted to do, at that point.
"Hey, I've been meaning to ask, whatever happened to-"
The question was interrupted by a male voice calling out, "Aino Minako? What a
surprise running into you here!"
The voice was familiar enough to the girl that she didn't immediately rule that it
was some nutcase, though not familiar enough that she recognized Tsubasa before she turned
around and saw who was standing there.
On the other hand, Asai easily recognized the young man, having spent time on a
certain game show with him. "Tsubasa! What are you doing here?"
To say the least, Minako was just a little bit annoyed with the geeky fellow, as it
was he who was in charge of the Datamatch tables, even if she recognized that he wasn't
there when the form couldn't be found. Although she did know the gaijin who stepped out from
behind Tsubasa was that very same girl. Minako flinched, but here was a couple on a date,
and she knew she wouldn't want someone messing her date up on purpose...
"I'm here with Sarah," Tsubasa announced proudly as the gaijin girl stepped forward.
"I guess this is a popular night and place for dates."
A fake smile plastered on her face, Minako replied, "It seems like it." She wanted
to be nice to them, but considering the disaster that came from the last unexpected visitors
to the table, she'd rather just have the rest of the date alone. For romance, of course.
All four of them looked around, none saying a word, silence growing more awkward
every second.
Before walking over to the table, Tsubasa had reminded Sarah not to mention
Datamatch at all, or TV's Blind Date, or any of the other near-misses that the two
doubtlessly experienced on their crazy searches. Needless to say this seriously cut down on
the number of potential subjects to discuss.
Each passing moment caused Minako to lose more of the calm on her face, convinced as
she was that the longer the two visitors stayed, the more likely it was that something would
go wrong.
Seeing that none of the others had anything to say, Tsubasa continued, "Sometimes,
someone is sitting right between your fingers, and all you have to do is realize they're
there."
At this, Sarah giggled, a response that Minako and Asai both assumed was because
Tsubasa was talking about he and Sarah. Neither paid close enough attention to the mirthful
look on the geek's face as he made the observation to divine the true intent of the words.
Out of the corner of her eye, Minako saw their waiter, carrying a tray that seemed
to consist of the appetizers they'd ordered. Panic struck her almost instantly.
Accompanying the panic, time seemed to slow down. Asai's voice registered in slow
motion; her date was offering an agreement to Tsubasa's statement. She also heard the soles
of the waiter's shoes clack against the floor in a lethargic cadence, saw the tray of food
getting closer.
None of the others seemed to notice as sweatdrops grew across Minako's face and she
started pantomiming biting her nails. They did hear her gasp at the very same instant Sarah
reached out to put her arm around Tsubasa - which also coincided with the waiter stopping at
the table adjacent to them, dropping off the appetizers.
Minako tipped sideways out of her chair and landed on the floor.
Asai's gaze shifted to her as she hit the floor. The look of concern on his face
quickly transformed into one of pure shock and embarrassment.
The blonde looked down herself, then looked at Asai and figured out where she was
looking. The blind date couple began blushing at the same time.
Trying oh-so-hard not to start laughing, Tsubasa and Sarah took the moment to bid
their farewells and return to their own table.
"Uh... sorry about that," Minako sheepishly offered.
"It's okay..." murmered Asai, blushing even harder as his mind suddenly began a trek
through the gutter.
Were she aware of Asai's thoughts, in her current state of desperation Minako likely
would have been flattered. Instead, she thought Asai was embarrassed and held her at fault
for what happened. 'I've got a bad feeling about this,' she thought.
***
Outside the restaurant, the sound of three girls laughing rang throughout the
street, emanating from one unusually large cardboard box in particular. The few pedestrians
who were passing by gave the sidewalk a large berth, almost afraid of what might be inside.
The box contained nothing more sinister than the three young women who were
generating such laughter, insofar as sinister relates to spying on a friend as she goes on a
blind date that the same three young women helped set her up with. Not that any of them
would have admitted that they were spying on their friend; rather, they were keeping an eye
out for any random wandering monsters. Which there hadn't been in six months, but that was
entirely irrelevent as far as they were concerned.
It changed in volume once or twice, as they observed Minako's antics with the
approaching waiter, and eventually enough it grew quiet again.
Quiet for a few seconds, at least, before someone decided to start talking so there
was not an awkward silence.
"Minako-chan would kill us if she knew we were doing this," observed Rei immediately
after a conscience attack.
"Who said she had to find out?" asked Makoto. "Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, if you know
what I mean."
"What do you mean?" chimed Usagi.
Both Rei and Makoto sighed heavily. "Never mind," the miko said. "Just don't tell
Mina-chan."
Again the three turned back to watching their friend's date. A few more seconds
passed before the silence was broken. Though, that was only Usagi asking, "Is it just me, or
did Ami just walk past?"
As the silence resumed, Makoto and Rei nodded.
***
It occurred to Minako a few seconds after the pair of sickeningly cute geeks
retreated out of her field of vision, that she and Asai actually hadn't ordered any
appetizers. But this slight oversight was nothing major for Minako - after all, she was
still trying to nail down the end of her amazingly fabulous search for a boyfriend!
Once he'd dropped off the appetizers at the table over, the waiter stopped at her
table to get their actual food orders. Minako said something, but she wasn't even really
paying attention to what the orders were. As he stopped in front of them (coincidentally
enough, the same moment that Usagi noticed Ami and Urawa walking past in the background,)
she suddenly realized that this date was a disaster so far. They'd barely said any words to
one another, and she'd accidentally flashed Asai! At this rate, he'd never want to go on a
date with her again!
That wouldn't do at all, Minako decided. Briefly she allowed herself to wonder what
had ever made her let him get out of her sight in the first place. Which led to a pained
reminder that, after she'd saved his life from the daimon, he'd just gone walking off with
some other girl. Come to think of it, why did she never ask him what that was about? And
why-
"How has the whole saving the world thing gone since that one time?" asked the
young man conversationally.
-in the world was he just now bringing up that he knew she was Sailor Venus? Minako
just gaped at him.
For the first time since before he'd sat down, Asai grinned. "Didn't think I knew,
huh? Well, nobody plays volleyball like you. I could tell from your feet that it was you."
Minako found herself at a loss for words, a rare enough occasion that a more
egotistical part of her mind was convinced that if she called up the presses, they'd make it
a front page article. Whether or not that was true, she still had nothing to say to Asai,
and judging from the smug look on his face, he was quite enjoying it.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anybody. Besides, I've kept the secret this long!" Asai
continued.
Grudgingly, the girl had to concede that this was true. "Just a little surprised,
sorr-"
One interruption, Minako was willing to disregard just to move on with her date.
Two, and she was fairly sure it was some strange coincidence. But when she heard Ami's voice
call out, "Minako-chan! What a popular place this is, huh?", that was just stretching it too
far. The kami were out to get here. There was no other explanation that she could think of.
Not even bothering to stop the twitching of her eyebrow, she turned to face her
friend who had apparently unconsciously sold her out for some future favor with the kami. In
actuality, the first two meetings were nothing more than coincidence, and this third was
arranged by a certain "K.S.", but if one were to tell Minako at that point she most likely
would not have believed it anyway.
"Ami-chan," the blonde said curtly.
"I see you finally caught up to Asai," the genius said with a smile. It almost fell
when she thought about what she'd just said and realized that might be giving things away,
but there was no way that Minako was going to pick up on that.
Then there was Asai, who was slowly starting to put together the puzzle that was
that evening in his mind. "'Caught up to' might not be the best way to phrase it," the young
man said. "Probably more like... stumbled across. In the middle of the darkest parts of the
night, where both of us were blind."
Ami started laughing at the mention of the word 'blind'. As much as she tried to
control herself, she just couldn't do it. "Blind... yes, that is a better way to put it."
As she turned to look from Asai to Minako, she noticed three sets of eyes in the window and
sighed. 'I can't believe they actually did it,' she thought to herself.
Minako had other plans than talking. She was melting. Asai was such a sweetie!
Talking about stumbling across one another as though it was fated or something. Being the
Goddess of Love, she certainly loved the idea of a fated love. If it weren't for the glasses
of water on the table, the candles, and the flowers decorating it, she'd have probably leapt
right across it in a flying glomp.
Failing that, she decided a happy sigh would do. After that, try as she might, she
just couldn't get mad at Ami. She couldn't even make some sort of snide comment about Ami's
romantic life anymore, since most of those were usually jokingly mean, and not even jokingly
could she get mad at her friend anymore. Or so she thought.
Then the waiter appeared again, way off in the distance. With a salad tray. And the
dressing they'd ordered was already on the salad.
This she could tell because of her very acutely attuned disaster sense, something
that she'd picked up quite easily between her time as a Senshi, and, much more recently, the
uphill battle that had made up the entirety of her amazingly fabulous search for a
boyfriend.
Time didn't slow down, not with this appearance of the waiter. There was no point
in it, because Minako knew there was no stopping disaster when the kami decided it was time
to pay her a visit again.
She turned back to face Ami. "So, Ami-chan, you're here with Urawa-kun?" Out of the
corner of her eye, she noticed Asai sit back in his chair, amused. 'What's he grinning
about?' she wondered to herself.
"That's right," Ami replied, suddenly looking a lot less interested in talking to
her friend. "Every girl likes a nice romantic date, Mina-chan."
Minako was fairly certain her evening wasn't going to end the same as Ami's, but she
managed to resist the temptation to make that particular observation.
Likely this had something to do with the appearance of the waiter in her direct
vision. He was still carrying the tray, except now the salads weren't on it. Wait a minute,
that didn't make any sense...
With an almost clinically-detached manner, she observed that the waiter actually
wasn't standing up all the way. That was because, she noticed, someone had scooted their
chair out right in front of him, which he then tripped over. But search as she might, she
couldn't find the two salad plates-
THUNK! THUNK!
As pieces of lettuce fell in front of her eyes and she felt dressing dripping down
her hair, she thought how strange it was that one of the plates would have managed to find
its way right onto the top of her head. She brushed clear her field of view and noticed that
the other plate had landed right on Asai's head. She saw Ami gasp, heard her mutter, "Oh,
Mina-chan, I'm so sorry...", saw her friend retreat back to her own table, sure that Ami
only left to get away from disaster-area-Minako.
Then she started to cry.
***
The tears had yet to stop several minutes later, as the two fledgling whatever-they-
were walked down the sidewalk in the general direction of Minako's house. Asai's jacket,
with a couple of carrot slices and some patches of dressing stuck to it, was draped around
Minako's shoulders so at least she wouldn't get cold. And though neither of them noticed it,
an unusually large cardboard box was following them through the streets.
'At least Minako won't get a cold or something,' Asai thought. "How could this
evening have been such a disaster?" he muttered. No logical explanations came to his mind,
and he wasn't really willing to consider illogical ones because they were nearly infinite
in number.
Minako was certainly quite willing to consider the illogical, namely some sort of
grand cosmic conspiracy punishing her for something she must have unconsciously done and
blocked out of her memory. Maybe she jaywalked at some point. She'd probably done it by
accident, but one never really knows. She kept sobbing some more.
Asai strolled along with his hands stuck in his pockets, completely at a loss as to
how to stop the flow of tears. "Don't cry," he offered. "It's not your fault."
"Yes it is," whispered Minako hoarsely. She continued between sobs, "It's all my
fault. I did something wrong... the kami are punishing me. I know they are."
How was he supposed to argue something like that? It wasn't like he could exactly
disprove a cosmic conspiracy, even if it was an insane thing to suggest. "Come here,
Minako-chan. It's okay."
She looked over at him with bloodshot, tear-filled eyes and sniffed once. "No, it
isn't. It'll never be okay again. You hate me, because it's my fault our date got ruined,
and now I'm never going to have a boyfriend."
Before he was entirely aware of what he was doing, Asai crossed the space between
the two of them and wrapped Minako up in a tight embrace. "No, that's not true at all..."
Minako looked back up at him, blinking tears away. "Why? Why isn't it?" she asked
softly, slowly leaning her head up towards Asai's.
Asai lowered his head slowly towards Minako's. Their lips were almost touching when
he whispered, "Because, I-"
WHUMP!
With a sense of dread filling both of their stomachs, Minako and Asai turned in
unison to see the source of the latest interruption of one of their romantic moments.
Usagi, Rei, and Makoto sat less than fifteen feet away, tangled up amongst
themselves and a cardboard box. Simultaneously all three offered a sheepish wave.
The two about-a-second-away-from-being-lovebirds sighed. Would anything go right
ever again?
***
Once the three girls had been shooed off, promising that neither they nor their
cardboard box would disturb what remained of the date that evening, Asai and Minako
resumed their walk towards Minako's house. Mostly this took place in silence, much to
the dismay of both of them, but neither could think of any words to fit after the
disaster at the restaurant and then being interrupted in the street as something was
about to happen.
As they walked, Asai kept his arm around the girl, though it was certainly an
awkward thing to do when neither of them was saying anything. And Asai knew it wasn't
one of those lovers-don't-need-words things.
He knew that coincidence had been stretched pretty far that evening, but he had
no clue what to chalk all of the coincidences up to until one final thing snapped the
illusion. When they turned a corner and Minako mumbled that it was the street she lived
on, Asai couldn't help but notice it was the street his grandmother lived on. A smirk
crossed his face, but he said nothing out loud. 'I'll have to thank you later, Grandma,'
he thought.
Nonetheless, as rapidly as Asai was piecing together bits and pieces of what had
been a great mystery to him, equally as rapidly was Minako convincing herself that the
evening was a disaster and that it was all her fault. Beyond that, she was blocking
what few good events of the evening that had transpired from her mind.
Subconsciously, her feet carried her up her sidewalk and onto her porch. Only
then did she notice her surroundings and blink out of her pessimistic haze.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I tried my best not to ruin anything, but it all
got ruined anyway."
The young man resisted the urge to sigh. "What's ruined? We did get the promise
of a meal on the house next time we go there," he replied as he ran a hand through
his hair. He was marginally sure that Minako was too busy moping at the point the
maitre'd had come running out with apologies for all that had gone wrong, saying
how it was all his fault. Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Asai had
accepted, hoping he'd be back some day.
"Yeah, right, like we'll ever go back there. Or go anywhere together, ever
again," Minako continued. She was crying again, sobbing every now and then. "It's
all going wrong. It's never stopped going wrong..." Any other words were lost to
the sobs.
"Hey. It's not your fault." With that, Asai leaned in quickly, wanting to do
what he had been about to do earlier before there could be any interruptions-
Their faces could not have been more than an inch apart when they were both
startled by a sudden, high-pitched meow of a cat. As one, they looked upward, only
to have Artemis land right between their faces.
As the white cat stared at Minako with an innocent look, her sadness and
desperation was very quickly replaced with unbridled irritation. She launched him
as far as she could, the scream of "ARTEMIS-BAKA!" following him through the air.
Artemis soared through the Tokyo night sky, only partially curious when he'd
actually end up landing. For a very brief moment he considered regretting his
choice of when to try to sneak out to meet Luna, regretting the leaf on the roof
that he'd slipped on that caused him to fall on Minako and Asai at the worst
possible moment. He considered saying, "Oh, boy", like he always did, except then
he realized that worrying got him nowhere, and beyond that, Minanko was finally
about to have an end to her search.
Besides, he noted, wherever he landed was bound to be closer to the Tsukino
household than he started out!
On the porch of the Aino household, Minako blushed furiously. She just
realized what had been about to happen - then realized that she wanted it to
happen - then realized that any second now there might be an interruption again,
like her mom walking outside, or maybe the Outer Senshi driving by in Haruka's
car, or-
The same realization hit Asai, but since he had a less paranoid mind and
far less potential reasons for things to get screwed up yet again, he moved in
to kiss Minako in the middle of her thinking.
Some time later - it might have been seconds, minutes, or hours, Minako
wasn't entirely sure - they broke for air.
Asai was about to say something romantic, but he was cut off by the
loudest scream he'd ever heard a human make.
Minako raised her head to the sky as she screamed, "Take that, kami! You
tried to stop me, but you couldn't! And now, AINO MINAKO AND HER AMAZINGLY
FABULOUS SEARCH FOR A BOYFRIEND HAS FINALLY ENDED!"
The shout was heard all throughout Tokyo, and seemed to echo for minutes.
It was heard especially by four young women who moonlighted as warriors
for love and justice, two cats, everyone whose lives had been touched by the
blonde as she went about her search, and in particular an old blind woman
across the street.
All throughout Tokyo, these people said as one, "It's about time."
***
As many characters as it made sense to reprise, did so. Actually, more might have
been able to, but that would have flown in the face of the grand dream of the
epilogue that will wrap up all of this insanity.
Now, don't worry, this epilogue won't be like one of Kate's Galactic Sailors
epilogues (incidentally, I think those two mammoths combined are about equal to
the length of this story) - it's more like... well, you'll just have to wait and
see.
The only clue is this one word: "Duh." Stay tuned!
-End