I'm not a musician. As far as I know I could be a better mandolin player
than I'd ever be a martial artist. But then again that wouldn't be very
hard, would it? However I have always been able to do one thing, and that
is appreciate music. I love listening to most any type you could name. Each
has its own beauty, although I must confess, I am a sucker for orchestral
music. It has a simple serenity and purity about it that is hard to
describe. When listening you can distinguish the separate instruments as
they play individual parts or harmonies. It in itself is a type of
meditation. You can find yourself lost in a sweeping of a harp or the
tinkling of a piano. Another aspect of my love for music is based on a much
more obscure interpretation of its appeal. I find that within melodies, I
find myself engulfed in the purity that is the score. What I mean is, that
the notes are as they appear on manuscript. They cannot be changed, whoever
should play them, they remain the notes that they were written as. It's an
endearing quality I have found elusive in the real world.
I sigh as I lie here taking simple pleasure in my eavesdropping. The Old Ghoul is spending her usual Friday night in her usual past time. Many an evening she would rock back and forth on the squeaky antique rocking chair in the back of the café, with the volume on the radio turned up. I must thank that shrivelled monkey some day. She inadvertently gave me a ray of primitive sunshine into the overcast grey that was my life. Cologne had a soft spot for orchestral and chamber music and every Friday I would lie here on my lumpy futon and listen. I listened to sparse, thin, quiet notes that drifted weakly through the floorboards and dust to my "room" in the attic. I lived in amongst boxes and crates where I had a small wardrobe and a few other battered items of furniture. I'll always remember that room as being like a piece of wicker branch. Time had strained the floor of the room, just the way a craftsman wills the wicker into its shape. It now looked more like the bow of a ship, curved and sloped so that everything sat lop-sided and inclined towards the centre of the room. That was where my bed was positioned.
This particular Friday evening, I was lying on my back, my legs tucked under my chin, rocking slightly concentrating on the soft strands of a piece of music I made out to be called "Autumn Breeze". I was almost drifting into a haze of sleepiness when I recognised a very rare noise indeed. This sound was pitched higher than the violins and flutes of the crackling radio and came in short gentle bouts. It was also much nearer and had another dimension to it than the flat hum of the transistor. It took me more than few moments to identify it as the heart-wrenching sobs of my love, Shampoo.
If Cologne had seen me creeping along the old beaten corridor to the landing below and Shampoo's room, I would have been served up the as "Mousse de jour". However I knew she also liked a spot of sake to relax at the birth of the weekend and she wouldn't rise from her small chair for a few more hours. My heart was bumping in my chest like a freight train. I hated this sweet agony, but revelled in it too, because she had caused it; this sugary weak feeling inside of me whenever I was within three feet of her. Many times I had meditated over this sensation, wondering if it was simply a teenage attraction. The debate had stirred such conflicting emotions within me that I decided I would never resolve it properly until some aspect of my relationship with Shampoo had changed. Whether for the good or bad, I hadn't much idea. But for now I'll go on believing it's love in its more pure form and I am experiencing the pain of my labours. The sobs were fluctuating in length and all I could do what guess at what painful thoughts were trudging through her mind. Then I heard it. The one statement.if you could call it that.that would change a lot of things that night.
"Ranma right.Shampoo be better of dead."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Somewhere distantly I heard my glasses fall to the floor and clatter against the age-softened wood. I guess Shampoo must have heard it too, because her crying stopped abruptly. I recount this now because at the time I had no current issue that could hold my attention so much as my anger. How dare that arrogant, self- righteous piece of hermaphrodite panda crap, make my wonderful, beautiful, perfect Shampoo feel worthless?! This rage burned low and hot in my soul, searching for appeasement. I had to find enough oxygen to fan the flames till they were satisfied. Whipping the wind out of Saotome would be a blast of fresh air!
In a blurry haze, I somehow dressed myself, managed to grab my glasses and make my way to the Tendo dojo. I say "somehow" because I have no recollection of doing any of these things. My mind was too occupied with thinking up nice and messy ways to skin that cross-dressing piece of filth, Ranma. Stopping outside the thin sliding doors of the traditional-style fighting hall, I breathed deeply. The martial artist in me perversely wanted to savour the sharp smell of the night I killed Saotome. In a matter of seconds I had drawn back the door and was faced with the gathering of the Saotome and Tendo's.
My eyes, I now realise must have smouldered with a fire I had never felt before, because even although I wore my thick milk-bottle glasses, I could make out each of the family members draw back in fear.
"Prepare to meet your eternal fate, Ranma Saotomeeeeeee!" I shrieked flying across the room. But the young man dodged the attack easily and grabbed me by my metaphorical lapels. In his eyes something just as dangerous flared and I wanted to kill him even more for it. He didn't even feel an ounce of remorse for what he had done to Shampoo. But unexpectedly, he stepped back, calling an uncharacteristic control to his composure. It mystified me to say the least. Such an intrusion upon his Friday evening would usually merit a duel of some sort. But for some reason he didn't look in the mood for a fight and as I gazed around I saw more than shock on the faces of his family. There was brightness missing from their faces. Their eyes were unusually wide, especially for ever-cynical Genma. Then I noticed one member missing. Akane, the youngest daughter, was missing. There was a definite solemnity to the atmosphere. It seemed to hang like a mist and dissipated my anger and replaced with a feeling of vague guilt instead. What had I interrupted? I looked back to Ranma who chewed nervously on his bottom lip, lost in his thoughts for a moment and almost forgetting I was standing still with his grasp. Something must have happened indeed. I hadn't bargained for this!
Dr Tofu stood and nodded slightly disturbing the silence only with the sound of his bare-feet squeaking on the floorboards. One of the sisters, I forget her name, followed in out. That's when I caught a glimpse of the still body of Akane laying on a makeshift futon, her faithful swine joining her in a flushed slumber. What the hell had happened here? And what had my Shampoo got to do with it? I finally found my voice and ventured a question.
"What has happened here?" My voice was a barely audible whisper, lacking its former threat. I winced, as it seemed to echo from the walls.
Each of the persons seated on the floor glanced awkwardly in opposite directions, subtly handing over the responsibility to answer, to Ranma. He looked exhausted and drained in a way I have never seen. When his eyes met mine, they lacked that mischief which signified Ranma's usual innocent boyish intent. I almost missed it then. His mouth opened and closed like fish's and for a moment I knew I'd never change my place with him for all of Shampoo's love. Whatever had happened to Akane and P-chan caused him more pain than any injury he'd suffered. I could see that much that time.
Finally he summoned enough will to dully voice his words. "She w- was.poisoned."
My mind was flipping and crashing like an ocean caught in a storm, I couldn't see the wood for the trees, so to speak. "What? .b-by who?" I demanded quietly.
His response was tinged with annoyance. ".Shampoo."
Well, that hit me like an oil tanker. "S-shampoo?.no.no...NO I refuse to believe my Shampoo would do anything like that!" I raged blindly, disgustedly swiping his hands from my garments.
It seemed to fuel an incurable anger deep down within Ranma. I guess he had been repressing it since the incident occurred. I don't remember much of what happened soon after, only that Ranma and I ended up outside of the Tendo Dojo and I was removing my coat. I didn't want to rely upon my weapons to win this fight; I wanted my total conviction to win. I wasn't fighting for Shampoo's hand anymore, I was fighting for her honour and that came at a much higher price.
I couldn't shake it; there was something about Saotome. He stood and squirmed like a cat on a hot tin roof, dying and desperate to fight me. Like a man possessed he pounced on me when I finally finished arranging myself. Had I been in my normal condition I wouldn't have stood a chance, but with this new hatred for Saotome I felt myself full of a strength I had never known. Perhaps that is the most incredible part of being a human being, the knowledge, that whenever something dear to a person is threatened, they act without thinking and draw incredible power from somewhere deep inside. Perhaps that is in itself what love is.
I managed to counter Ranma's leap with a kick of my own. From there the fight was nothing more than a gladiator fight, there were no rules, no honour to defend just a slug at one another. I resorted back to using my hidden weapons. If I should ever fight that dirty again, I think I shall retire from martial arts altogether. However, my underhanded methods were not what were being disputed that night. This was my love for Shampoo against Ranma's passion for revenge. I would rather die than let him humiliate and despise her the way he had. So I packed every technique and move I knew with the most venom I could muster. I pulled every inch of hurt I had ever suffered into each punch and swipe and I laughed aloud when a blow was landed. He on the other hand fought like a hero. Nothing could make him surrender or calm down. In retrospect, I have a feel that it wasn't me he was totally angry at, but more like Shampoo, I was just her punching bag. Perhaps he found a release and satisfaction in taking his anger out on me.
My fury was the first to dissipate, leaving me with nothing but the memory of my anger to keep my going. His chest heaved and his brows furrowed as he stared at me with such distaste and disgust. By this point we were both bleeding profusely and were finding it hard to support ourselves.
".Ran.ma." I croaked breathing heavily "Give..it.up.Ranma.I will.avenge.Shampoo's honour!"
I made one last ditch effort and ran towards him screaming every profanity I ever learned. But in an instant I was suspended in the air. He had caught me by the throat, powered by I strength I know I shall never possess. He shook me violently and slammed me on the ground, then proceeded to kick the crap out of me. This was very unlike Saotome, but all I remember thinking at the time was "&$%%* that hurts!!!! How the @$%&* am I gonna get up?!!!"
I must have let out some squeak of surrender, because he relented and repressed his anger once again into clenched fists. Then he spoke in a tone that was again foreign to the Ranma Saotome I knew and despised. "I love Akane" He stated quietly, turning his back on me "I love her more than anything, more than my life, more than my father and .more than Shampoo"
I couldn't feel anything anymore. Ranma had admitted something that I fought with him so many times before for; his surrender of Shampoo. I sudden had an overwhelming pity for him and a gut-wrenching guilt. I stood and wiped my bleeding nose. My body cried out in protest as the broken bones creaked and groaned against one another. ".Ranma.I regret Shampoo's actions and I ask you to take penance on me for her mistakes." I bowed my head waiting for an all-mighty blow. And sure enough it came, sharp and hot across the back of my neck. I sprawled to the floor and rolled over, giving him space to beat the hell out of me. And he did.
The pain was the worst I'd ever felt. It wasn't the shattered bones and organs within me that made the tears trickle from the sides of my eyes, it was the sheer embarrassment and betrayal I felt. I could hear Saotome yelling and groaning in upset through my heavy curtain of hurt, but then he whimpered and I felt a weight dropping on me. Slowly opening my eyes, I found him collapsed upon me, his face contorted with.loneliness?
"Akane might.die." He breathed, causing a well of shame to build up in my chest. I hadn't bargained for such an emotional response from the Great Ranma Saotome, but we all have our weaknesses. I suppose in a way, my weakness is the reason I couldn't never have Shampoo. I never had the heart to stop holding back when I fought for her hand against her. I couldn't do anything that would cause pain to flash in those beauteous eyes. I understood Ranma's hurt as we both lay there in a tangled heap catching our breath and wallowing in our individual agony. Later that night I limped home to the Nekohanten, pain licking at my body but an even greater searing was mirrored in my soul. Was Shampoo so desperately unhappy with her current situation that she would try and kill her competition in such a dishonourable way? Of course it had been decreed that Shampoo had to kill Ranma-chan to begin with, but matters such as this were outside the bounds of honour. If the council caught wind of this Shampoo could be expelled from the ranks of the Amazons. This would be a fate worse than death for the almost undefeated champion of her people. I turned into a lonely back street, a short cut I had learned from being a delivery boy when Shampoo was busy.
My side was hurting like hell and I had to edge my way along holding onto the wall to keep upright. What a waste of energy for Saotome and I, and now I would be hurting for a month. The sight of his eyes full of sorrow and worry, even blurred through my glasses, was unmistakable and haunting. At this moment in time I realised that would probably have torn Akane apart if the she had the same to Shampoo. Ranma had done a good job of holding his rage in check. I felt thoroughly ashamed of the woman I loved and my heart was heavy and dull. Akane wasn't her real rival she was a friend. Even though I knew Shampoo claimed to hate Akane as much as I claimed to hate Ranma, I knew that we felt that way because of the unfortunate circumstances life had dealt us. If I had met Saotome in another way I'm sure we could have become friends. However this did little to appease my queasy feeling of disgust and coldness at my careless behaviour and even more at Shampoo's.
As I neared the end of the alley my poor eyesight, without my glasses, lead me astray and I tripped over a trashcan and landed smack against the opposite wall, that's when I noticed her. She must have seen the whole fight because she looked absolutely terrified. That dark hair and dark eyes shone in the moonlight as she held her hands near her face. From a distance I could still make out the fear glinting in her eyes. The moments we simply stood there and stared at each other seemed endless, as the first spit- spots of rain pattered on the tiled pagoda roofs above us. My breathing was becoming more ragged and I could feel my grip on the wall slipping, threatening to send me into the trashcans at my feet. I couldn't afford to look foolish in Shampoo's eyes right now.
"...Mousse.is brave to fight for Shampoo.but Shampoo is bad and should be punished.Shampoo is sorry" She whimpered as much for her self as for me I think. "Shampoo, do you understand that what you did was incredibly dishonourable? Your reputation as an Amazon could be called into question!" I hissed in my native Mandarin. I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but as Shampoo pulled away slightly, I knew I had struck a nerve.
Silently she bent to the ground and picked something up. I soon realised it was my glasses. I had been so passionate in my thoughts I hadn't noticed them slip from the bridge of my nose. She approached me and I felt that heart of mine pound and fill me with weakness. At that moment I hated the feeling she filled me with, it wouldn't permit me to stay furious with her. Carefully, more so than I had ever known her to be, she placed my spectacles back on my nose. As soon as they were in place I could see her face clearly. It was streaked with tears and her eyes were not full of the confidence I loved, instead they shook uncertainly. I had never seen this side of her before. Being an Amazon, Shampoo had always been sure of her place in the world and never questioned whether her actions were right or wrong. But finally she was nothing more than a human being like the rest of us, with weaknesses, desires and fears. It seemed that the fear of my judgement was more frightening to her than anything. At that moment, for the first time in my life, I was in control. Perhaps it was the disarray into which she had been thrown that changed my value in her eyes.
I attempted to limp away when I slipped and crashed back against the wall. My cheeks burned red and I expected to hear her laugh or see her look unimpressed, but instead I felt two cold hands on my bare back. I couldn't stand her to see me so weak and foolish so I swatted them away. The hot summer rain was coming down heavy now, making my glasses almost impossible to see out of and my hair stick to my back and chest. Shampoo kept her distance but walked at my pace somewhere to my right. Finally we reached the Nekohanten having not shared a word since we met in the alley. I stopped. Something had to be said between us.
"Shampoo.what will you do if.if you are denounced from your position?" I ask, fearing to look into her face, to look into her fragile soul. To my surprise she knelt down on the dirty ground of the sidewalk and grasped my hand in her cold one. This was definitely a Shampoo I had never seen before.
".Shampoo brings great shame to Great-Grandmother.she leave for China to see Council on marriage business.maybe Shampoo be killed for dishonour."
I blinked. I didn't think they would be so severe as to issue the death penalty, but she had brought dishonour upon the whole Amazon tribe and made the Matriarch look very bad indeed. I pulled her to her feet. The anger I felt was pushed down. Even though she had done something incredibly dangerous and stupid and I was furious with her for doing it, I knew I was the only one on her side anymore. I was the only thing she could depend on for support now and she had made herself foolish in my eyes. I sighed and pulled her to her feet. I wanted to pull her into my arms and soothe her and stand up for her, but I didn't want to confuse her any further. So I simply placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at me her eyes glistening with threatening tears.
"Shampoo, tomorrow we'll have to see the Tendo's and you have to find an antidote, we'll apologise to Akane's family but don't worry, Ranma has already received satisfaction from me" I turned to open the creaky old door, but a tug on my arm stopped me. She gazed at me with surprise in her large dark eyes. "You mean.Mousse come with Shampoo? .Mousse go back to Tendo's to help Shampoo? .Mousse.do that for.Shampoo?" She stuttered quietly. I sighed and looked her straight in the face. For once her features didn't inspire me with an awe-filled fear. Instead I saw a frightened young woman whom I wanted to crush in a fearsome hug. I nodded and she let go of my arm guiltily looking down at the floor. "Shampoo we wont speak of this to your Grandmother.I'll.talk to her about it" I added entering the back door of the kitchen, leaving her there in the light of the run-down ruin of a restaurant. Talking to Cologne would be like asking an executioner to give you a quick trim.
The week passed and what a week it had been. Since Cologne had ventured forth on her crusade, we had less help around the café. Poor Shampoo had had enough of all of the running around by midweek. The very next day I walked with Shampoo in silence to the Tendo dojo. I noticed her chewing slightly on her lip and gave her arm a squeeze. She looked up at me, her expression unreadable. After facing the Tendos and delivering an antidote, we said our quiet apologies and left. The cold air in which the Tendo family greeted us had affected Shampoo greatly, silencing her usual cheery air. I caught us a rickshaw home, I knew she just wasn't up to walking back. She knew deep within that all she had achieved was to drive Ranma and Akane closer together and she was coping with it very well. There are a great many things that I admire about Shampoo and her absolute commitment to her cause is just one of her facets.
Throughout that quiet and confusing week, Shampoo acted very differently towards me. I didn't pull any of my usual public shows of affection, because I knew this was the first time Shampoo had been so humiliated and I didn't want to upset her anymore. I really did understand and I wanted somewhere in the back of my head for Shampoo to come around to the fact that she was all I had left too. Maybe then she could love me. However my sense of honour would not allow me to take advantage of her the way Amazon traditions permit. The law of "Role Reversal"
After being scorned or disgraced, the chosen husband may have only one chance to revoke the marriage laws. It is his one chance for a say over the wedding procedures. It was obvious that Cologne would put this proposition to Ranma when she returned and of course he would accept. However there was a loophole in order to speed re-marriage up. A rival male could, in this circumstance, reach a private agreement with the reluctant husband and in that case would only have to draw in a fight to earn his wife. This law was driving me crazy. It was strange by-law made especially for cases of Amazons who failed to be graceful or articulate. So long as there was a man rivalling the Amazon's fiancé, the law could be used. Although it was perfectly acceptable, I found it to be an extremely perverse and demeaning method at this time.
Anyway.Shampoo was being incredibly tolerant of me and was being very brave by keeping a stiff upper lip. I had a strange nagging feeling that all this might change the instant her Great-grandmother returned with "good news". All I prayed for was Shampoo to be allowed to retain her life. If not then that law might come in handy. After catching a glimpse of Shampoo holding a knife very contemplatively when she was cleaning up, I got scared. What thoughts were creeping through her mind? What might she do if she was pushed to the edge? Suicide was considered a honourable way for an Amazon to die, but I couldn't bear the thought that I might lose the one thing that kept me breathing everyday.
So I took matters into my own hands. It must have been Thursday afternoon when I slipped out of the café without Shampoo noticing. She had gone for a nap when business was slow. I'd only be gone for a few minutes anyway. I waited around the corner from his school, in the shadows waiting for the sounding of the bell and the hordes of students to come bustling out. I spotted Saotome walking with Akane and watched them until they were alone. Approaching in my usual method I surprised them. Sufficed to say that Ranma was his ordinary arrogant self. I must admit I was happy to see that Akane was completely cured. Glad that she was off my conscience I turned to Ranma. He was indeed interested by the ins and outs of the law and agreed to co-operate with me, though his original fiancé looked dubious at first. Ranma however understood my motives, remembering the action and words that had taken place during the fight. When he began to remove his coat to fight me I chuckled and looked up through my fringe at him. My hands tucked tightly into my sleeves, I smiled wryly.
"Why Ranma.there is no need for us to fight. So long as we agree that a fight took place and that it was a draw, I shall be satisfied"
He drew me a strange look. I had thought this through very carefully. After last week's confrontation, I was in no state to fight against him and it wouldn't matter anyway.
"You see, if Cologne should return with bad news about Shampoo's verdict, the law will save her from that. Cologne will be much more interested in the fact that the proposition will preserve the life of her granddaughter than proving its validity. After all, Cologne may be an Amazon but she loves her family enough to prefer them to live in dishonour rather than not to live at all."
Ranma's eyes flashed and he nodded, understanding "So what d'ya want me to do?" he asked with a little suspicion lacing his words.
I chuckled lowly again "Nothing.all you have to do is back up my claim with Cologne"
We share a mutual smile. It took care of both our problems and we shook hands on it. I watched as Ranma and his future wife continued on their way home and for once I wished the young pair good luck in their lives. They deserved it.
Friday afternoon came and went and Shampoo and I were packing up shop when the familiar sound of a cane tapping on the floor emanated from the kitchen. We both knew what it meant. Cologne had returned with the verdict. I glanced over at Shampoo who had been cleaning a table. Her face had the most magnificent expression of a martyr. Her jaw was hardened and protruded slightly and her eyes gained their confidence and steely grip I knew and loved. Then she did something I hadn't expected. She turned and stretched her hand out towards me, gesturing for me to take it. I slowly moved forward and stood beside her to look at her. She gently took my large rough hand in her small smooth cold one.
"Mousse help Shampoo big, Shampoo want Mousse to hear what council say," She said, a short-pressured smile curving her lips. A tear rolled down my cheek and she frowned slightly.
In what seemed like an age, Shampoo and I walked hand in hand across the length of the chequered floor to the kitchen. It was the most terrifying stroll of my life. I felt as though judgement was being passed on me as well. But Shampoo held her composure with as much conviction as a hero and I became lost in her strength as she held my hand so lovingly.
My heart sank when we reached the kitchen table and the Ghoul sat with her back to us. Shampoo spoke in our native tongue
"Great-grandmother and honoured elder of our clan, I ask for my judgement"
I felt my throat closing and my stomach churn. I can only imagine what pain and fear Shampoo was feeling. After a moment of deafening silence, the old monkey mummy spoke.
"Xian-Pu, my Granddaughter, you have brought great dishonour upon our house. Sacred law prohibited the method that you used to claim your husband from the love of another. It has brought great shame upon our house and humiliation to my name."
She turned to face her prodigy and I swear I saw pity in those stern old eyes. "It has been decreed that you are to be executed by stoning."
I gasped and felt my head spin as I grasped her hand in both of mine. However, Shampoo did not even flinch. She had accepted her fate before it had been given to her. Amazon's take their reputation and laws very seriously. Death by fair combat is a honourable way for an Amazon to claim a husband. If he resists then a barrage of other methods may be used. However certain procedures, deemed to be shameful, are strictly off limits. These include poisoning and drowning among many others. But I wouldn't accept it.
I fell to my knees in front of Shampoo and cried. I cried because she could not and I cried because of the underhanded way in which I would save her. Tears rolled down my cheeks like water from a waterfall as I hugged her waist and pressed my cheek against her firm but small stomach. I could hear her heart beating erratically. She was scared as I was. Suddenly I snapped to my senses and looked up at Cologne.
"No." I spoke shakily She looked thoroughly irritated with this and scowled at me "Be quiet boy, don't you think I've done everything in my power to stop this?" She hissed venomously. I simply shook my head and heaved my injured body to my feet. "No, there is another way.The law of "Role Reversal"" I informed her coldly, trying to keep my composure.
Her face cleared of its wrinkles as realisation dawned upon her. "but ...wait.this bill cannot be passed after the verdict has been given" She almost shouted, feeling revulsion at the backfiring of a last ditch effort.
"The law was consummated on Thursday afternoon." I stated blandly. I could feel Shampoo's eyes on me. I didn't know what to read from them and I could feel a cold sweat trickling to my spine.
"You beat . Son-in-law?" She stammered incredulously. Her eyes narrowed at me as her suspicion grew.
"No, I merely drew with him. This is permissible" I countered her again, before she could throw any more doubts at me I added "The law is binding" I shot her a hot stare.
The old relic sighed and looked at Shampoo. "You should thank Mousse, he has saved your life.Shampoo.this world is a wonderful one, if not cruel. Life is worth more than honour." She admitted quietly, grateful for the life of her granddaughter. With that she retired, planning to return to China the next day to straighten matters out with the council members.
I was left alone in the room with her, her eyes boring a hole into the silk of my robes. Truly in all my life, I had never known a worse situation. So I did the only thing I could do. I walked out of the door.
I walked into the street and I simply walked. I didn't think, I didn't speak, I didn't do anything but cry. I cried because I had tied her to a life of marriage to me. Though so many times I had reached for her love, fought for it and begged for it, I always wanted her to come willingly. I hoped that someday she'd love me and marry me. Well now she was going to marry me, but at the same time, she might never love me. I couldn't bear to see her trapped in an unhappy, dishonourable life. I loved her too much. What had I done? In saving her, I had almost certainly killed the Shampoo whom I loved so dearly.
I have no idea how long I had been gone from the Nekohanten, but by the time I returned it was dark out. I could hear the strings of Cologne's radio sailing through the night air as I reached my home from home in Nerima. I just wanted to go to bed and stay as far away from Shampoo as I could. By this time, I guessed, Cologne had explained the ins and outs of the law to her granddaughter. And she no doubt was disgusted by the whole idea. Great, my life was just great.
Quietly shuffling upstairs, I heard the most horrible sound in the world. Shampoo crying. It normally made me ache with pity, but now, it shattered my soul. She was crying because she couldn't stand the thought of being married to me. I just wanted to die. I don't think I could have survived a life where I had Shampoo, but never had her. Slowly I pulled my weak aching lithe body up the last flight of stairs and collapsed on my messy futon. Taking my coat off I lay there on my stomach staring at nothing, tears pouring from my dull lifeless eyes. I didn't even hear the footsteps.
Suddenly I froze. I could feel a pair of cold hands on my lower back. Jerking up I twisted around and saw through a haze of blur, Shampoo. I clumsily reached for my glasses and she laughted. It was mirthful and bright, fuelled by the look of absolute bewilderment on my face. She cooed gently to me and I stiffly lay back down on the bed. Softly and carefully, Shampoo began rubbing the kinks out of my tough and bruised skin. I can honestly say I have never felt anything quite so close to heaven in my life. Her tiny hands moved with such accuracy and tenderness, I found myself weeping.
"Mousse.why you cry?" She asked sadly, but I couldn't help it.
I twisted around once again and caught her hands soothingly in my own and looked at her face. "I'm sorry I trapped you into a marriage you didn't want, but I couldn't.I wouldn't let them.oh.Shampoo." I squeaked weakly. I couldn't banish images of her running half naked through the town being pelted by stones until she was smashed to a pulp in some grotty little street corner. I couldn't let that happen to my Shampoo.
I scrunched my eyes shut until I felt her weight press against my back. I opened my eyes to find a lock of lavender hair spill over my shoulder. Her delicate hands titled my face back as she leant forward. Then she whispered something in my ear I know I shall never forget.
"Shampoo.want marriage" Her voice was soft like silk and high like the summer breeze.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I rolled over onto my back, so that she lay beside me on my futon. "What?" My expression must have bothered her because she touched the side of my face with her small fingers. I clutched her hand tightly against it, fearing to let the sensation disappear. She sighed lightly
"No one stay with Shampoo but Mousse.Mousse believe in Shampoo when everyone give me up for dead. No one love Shampoo like Mousse.not Grandmother, not Ranma.just Mousse"
My heart was thumping in my chest. I'm sure she noticed the compassion I was feeling, because she looked into my eyes and leant closer to my ear. She was going to say something which was obviously hard for her to admit "Mousse.make Shampoo want to live.Mousse make Shampoo strong.Mousse make Shampoo.safe" She whispered, bursting the balloon that was my sorrow and filling my body with happiness.
A single tear trickled down her face and I then did something that I didn't think I'd ever have the courage to do. I leaned towards her and closed my eyes delicately. My tongue brushed against her cheek as I licked her tears away. Even with my blurred vision I saw Shampoo's face crinkle into an expression I don't think she even understood, something between bliss and soul-wrenching guilt.
I exhaled slowly as she huddled into my chest and my arms found themselves hopelessly entangled around her.
"I'll never let you go Mousse.never.never.never." She sighed in Mandarin. I licked away the salty taste of her tear with the tip of my tongue, promising myself that it would be the very last tear of sorrow she would cry. I kissed her forehead and whispered
"Shampoo.I love you."
She titled her face upwards, looking like squirrel curled up in its tail: curious and expectant. She gently removed my glasses and pulled my chin tenderly towards her. I couldn't see what happened next but I certainly felt it. Her small lips burnt a needy tail over my eyelids and followed a route to my mouth. I shuddered a breath before she pushed her plum lips against mine and I was lost.
Now as I lie here with Shampoo in my arms, mere seconds later, I decide that getting lost in a kiss from Shampoo is much more satisfying than getting lost in a piece of music.
"Mousse.I love you." She sighs in harmony with my beating heart " .I love you."
by
Yamcha's Big Pants (YBP) aka Kirsty-chan ^_~
I sigh as I lie here taking simple pleasure in my eavesdropping. The Old Ghoul is spending her usual Friday night in her usual past time. Many an evening she would rock back and forth on the squeaky antique rocking chair in the back of the café, with the volume on the radio turned up. I must thank that shrivelled monkey some day. She inadvertently gave me a ray of primitive sunshine into the overcast grey that was my life. Cologne had a soft spot for orchestral and chamber music and every Friday I would lie here on my lumpy futon and listen. I listened to sparse, thin, quiet notes that drifted weakly through the floorboards and dust to my "room" in the attic. I lived in amongst boxes and crates where I had a small wardrobe and a few other battered items of furniture. I'll always remember that room as being like a piece of wicker branch. Time had strained the floor of the room, just the way a craftsman wills the wicker into its shape. It now looked more like the bow of a ship, curved and sloped so that everything sat lop-sided and inclined towards the centre of the room. That was where my bed was positioned.
This particular Friday evening, I was lying on my back, my legs tucked under my chin, rocking slightly concentrating on the soft strands of a piece of music I made out to be called "Autumn Breeze". I was almost drifting into a haze of sleepiness when I recognised a very rare noise indeed. This sound was pitched higher than the violins and flutes of the crackling radio and came in short gentle bouts. It was also much nearer and had another dimension to it than the flat hum of the transistor. It took me more than few moments to identify it as the heart-wrenching sobs of my love, Shampoo.
If Cologne had seen me creeping along the old beaten corridor to the landing below and Shampoo's room, I would have been served up the as "Mousse de jour". However I knew she also liked a spot of sake to relax at the birth of the weekend and she wouldn't rise from her small chair for a few more hours. My heart was bumping in my chest like a freight train. I hated this sweet agony, but revelled in it too, because she had caused it; this sugary weak feeling inside of me whenever I was within three feet of her. Many times I had meditated over this sensation, wondering if it was simply a teenage attraction. The debate had stirred such conflicting emotions within me that I decided I would never resolve it properly until some aspect of my relationship with Shampoo had changed. Whether for the good or bad, I hadn't much idea. But for now I'll go on believing it's love in its more pure form and I am experiencing the pain of my labours. The sobs were fluctuating in length and all I could do what guess at what painful thoughts were trudging through her mind. Then I heard it. The one statement.if you could call it that.that would change a lot of things that night.
"Ranma right.Shampoo be better of dead."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Somewhere distantly I heard my glasses fall to the floor and clatter against the age-softened wood. I guess Shampoo must have heard it too, because her crying stopped abruptly. I recount this now because at the time I had no current issue that could hold my attention so much as my anger. How dare that arrogant, self- righteous piece of hermaphrodite panda crap, make my wonderful, beautiful, perfect Shampoo feel worthless?! This rage burned low and hot in my soul, searching for appeasement. I had to find enough oxygen to fan the flames till they were satisfied. Whipping the wind out of Saotome would be a blast of fresh air!
In a blurry haze, I somehow dressed myself, managed to grab my glasses and make my way to the Tendo dojo. I say "somehow" because I have no recollection of doing any of these things. My mind was too occupied with thinking up nice and messy ways to skin that cross-dressing piece of filth, Ranma. Stopping outside the thin sliding doors of the traditional-style fighting hall, I breathed deeply. The martial artist in me perversely wanted to savour the sharp smell of the night I killed Saotome. In a matter of seconds I had drawn back the door and was faced with the gathering of the Saotome and Tendo's.
My eyes, I now realise must have smouldered with a fire I had never felt before, because even although I wore my thick milk-bottle glasses, I could make out each of the family members draw back in fear.
"Prepare to meet your eternal fate, Ranma Saotomeeeeeee!" I shrieked flying across the room. But the young man dodged the attack easily and grabbed me by my metaphorical lapels. In his eyes something just as dangerous flared and I wanted to kill him even more for it. He didn't even feel an ounce of remorse for what he had done to Shampoo. But unexpectedly, he stepped back, calling an uncharacteristic control to his composure. It mystified me to say the least. Such an intrusion upon his Friday evening would usually merit a duel of some sort. But for some reason he didn't look in the mood for a fight and as I gazed around I saw more than shock on the faces of his family. There was brightness missing from their faces. Their eyes were unusually wide, especially for ever-cynical Genma. Then I noticed one member missing. Akane, the youngest daughter, was missing. There was a definite solemnity to the atmosphere. It seemed to hang like a mist and dissipated my anger and replaced with a feeling of vague guilt instead. What had I interrupted? I looked back to Ranma who chewed nervously on his bottom lip, lost in his thoughts for a moment and almost forgetting I was standing still with his grasp. Something must have happened indeed. I hadn't bargained for this!
Dr Tofu stood and nodded slightly disturbing the silence only with the sound of his bare-feet squeaking on the floorboards. One of the sisters, I forget her name, followed in out. That's when I caught a glimpse of the still body of Akane laying on a makeshift futon, her faithful swine joining her in a flushed slumber. What the hell had happened here? And what had my Shampoo got to do with it? I finally found my voice and ventured a question.
"What has happened here?" My voice was a barely audible whisper, lacking its former threat. I winced, as it seemed to echo from the walls.
Each of the persons seated on the floor glanced awkwardly in opposite directions, subtly handing over the responsibility to answer, to Ranma. He looked exhausted and drained in a way I have never seen. When his eyes met mine, they lacked that mischief which signified Ranma's usual innocent boyish intent. I almost missed it then. His mouth opened and closed like fish's and for a moment I knew I'd never change my place with him for all of Shampoo's love. Whatever had happened to Akane and P-chan caused him more pain than any injury he'd suffered. I could see that much that time.
Finally he summoned enough will to dully voice his words. "She w- was.poisoned."
My mind was flipping and crashing like an ocean caught in a storm, I couldn't see the wood for the trees, so to speak. "What? .b-by who?" I demanded quietly.
His response was tinged with annoyance. ".Shampoo."
Well, that hit me like an oil tanker. "S-shampoo?.no.no...NO I refuse to believe my Shampoo would do anything like that!" I raged blindly, disgustedly swiping his hands from my garments.
It seemed to fuel an incurable anger deep down within Ranma. I guess he had been repressing it since the incident occurred. I don't remember much of what happened soon after, only that Ranma and I ended up outside of the Tendo Dojo and I was removing my coat. I didn't want to rely upon my weapons to win this fight; I wanted my total conviction to win. I wasn't fighting for Shampoo's hand anymore, I was fighting for her honour and that came at a much higher price.
I couldn't shake it; there was something about Saotome. He stood and squirmed like a cat on a hot tin roof, dying and desperate to fight me. Like a man possessed he pounced on me when I finally finished arranging myself. Had I been in my normal condition I wouldn't have stood a chance, but with this new hatred for Saotome I felt myself full of a strength I had never known. Perhaps that is the most incredible part of being a human being, the knowledge, that whenever something dear to a person is threatened, they act without thinking and draw incredible power from somewhere deep inside. Perhaps that is in itself what love is.
I managed to counter Ranma's leap with a kick of my own. From there the fight was nothing more than a gladiator fight, there were no rules, no honour to defend just a slug at one another. I resorted back to using my hidden weapons. If I should ever fight that dirty again, I think I shall retire from martial arts altogether. However, my underhanded methods were not what were being disputed that night. This was my love for Shampoo against Ranma's passion for revenge. I would rather die than let him humiliate and despise her the way he had. So I packed every technique and move I knew with the most venom I could muster. I pulled every inch of hurt I had ever suffered into each punch and swipe and I laughed aloud when a blow was landed. He on the other hand fought like a hero. Nothing could make him surrender or calm down. In retrospect, I have a feel that it wasn't me he was totally angry at, but more like Shampoo, I was just her punching bag. Perhaps he found a release and satisfaction in taking his anger out on me.
My fury was the first to dissipate, leaving me with nothing but the memory of my anger to keep my going. His chest heaved and his brows furrowed as he stared at me with such distaste and disgust. By this point we were both bleeding profusely and were finding it hard to support ourselves.
".Ran.ma." I croaked breathing heavily "Give..it.up.Ranma.I will.avenge.Shampoo's honour!"
I made one last ditch effort and ran towards him screaming every profanity I ever learned. But in an instant I was suspended in the air. He had caught me by the throat, powered by I strength I know I shall never possess. He shook me violently and slammed me on the ground, then proceeded to kick the crap out of me. This was very unlike Saotome, but all I remember thinking at the time was "&$%%* that hurts!!!! How the @$%&* am I gonna get up?!!!"
I must have let out some squeak of surrender, because he relented and repressed his anger once again into clenched fists. Then he spoke in a tone that was again foreign to the Ranma Saotome I knew and despised. "I love Akane" He stated quietly, turning his back on me "I love her more than anything, more than my life, more than my father and .more than Shampoo"
I couldn't feel anything anymore. Ranma had admitted something that I fought with him so many times before for; his surrender of Shampoo. I sudden had an overwhelming pity for him and a gut-wrenching guilt. I stood and wiped my bleeding nose. My body cried out in protest as the broken bones creaked and groaned against one another. ".Ranma.I regret Shampoo's actions and I ask you to take penance on me for her mistakes." I bowed my head waiting for an all-mighty blow. And sure enough it came, sharp and hot across the back of my neck. I sprawled to the floor and rolled over, giving him space to beat the hell out of me. And he did.
The pain was the worst I'd ever felt. It wasn't the shattered bones and organs within me that made the tears trickle from the sides of my eyes, it was the sheer embarrassment and betrayal I felt. I could hear Saotome yelling and groaning in upset through my heavy curtain of hurt, but then he whimpered and I felt a weight dropping on me. Slowly opening my eyes, I found him collapsed upon me, his face contorted with.loneliness?
"Akane might.die." He breathed, causing a well of shame to build up in my chest. I hadn't bargained for such an emotional response from the Great Ranma Saotome, but we all have our weaknesses. I suppose in a way, my weakness is the reason I couldn't never have Shampoo. I never had the heart to stop holding back when I fought for her hand against her. I couldn't do anything that would cause pain to flash in those beauteous eyes. I understood Ranma's hurt as we both lay there in a tangled heap catching our breath and wallowing in our individual agony. Later that night I limped home to the Nekohanten, pain licking at my body but an even greater searing was mirrored in my soul. Was Shampoo so desperately unhappy with her current situation that she would try and kill her competition in such a dishonourable way? Of course it had been decreed that Shampoo had to kill Ranma-chan to begin with, but matters such as this were outside the bounds of honour. If the council caught wind of this Shampoo could be expelled from the ranks of the Amazons. This would be a fate worse than death for the almost undefeated champion of her people. I turned into a lonely back street, a short cut I had learned from being a delivery boy when Shampoo was busy.
My side was hurting like hell and I had to edge my way along holding onto the wall to keep upright. What a waste of energy for Saotome and I, and now I would be hurting for a month. The sight of his eyes full of sorrow and worry, even blurred through my glasses, was unmistakable and haunting. At this moment in time I realised that would probably have torn Akane apart if the she had the same to Shampoo. Ranma had done a good job of holding his rage in check. I felt thoroughly ashamed of the woman I loved and my heart was heavy and dull. Akane wasn't her real rival she was a friend. Even though I knew Shampoo claimed to hate Akane as much as I claimed to hate Ranma, I knew that we felt that way because of the unfortunate circumstances life had dealt us. If I had met Saotome in another way I'm sure we could have become friends. However this did little to appease my queasy feeling of disgust and coldness at my careless behaviour and even more at Shampoo's.
As I neared the end of the alley my poor eyesight, without my glasses, lead me astray and I tripped over a trashcan and landed smack against the opposite wall, that's when I noticed her. She must have seen the whole fight because she looked absolutely terrified. That dark hair and dark eyes shone in the moonlight as she held her hands near her face. From a distance I could still make out the fear glinting in her eyes. The moments we simply stood there and stared at each other seemed endless, as the first spit- spots of rain pattered on the tiled pagoda roofs above us. My breathing was becoming more ragged and I could feel my grip on the wall slipping, threatening to send me into the trashcans at my feet. I couldn't afford to look foolish in Shampoo's eyes right now.
"...Mousse.is brave to fight for Shampoo.but Shampoo is bad and should be punished.Shampoo is sorry" She whimpered as much for her self as for me I think. "Shampoo, do you understand that what you did was incredibly dishonourable? Your reputation as an Amazon could be called into question!" I hissed in my native Mandarin. I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but as Shampoo pulled away slightly, I knew I had struck a nerve.
Silently she bent to the ground and picked something up. I soon realised it was my glasses. I had been so passionate in my thoughts I hadn't noticed them slip from the bridge of my nose. She approached me and I felt that heart of mine pound and fill me with weakness. At that moment I hated the feeling she filled me with, it wouldn't permit me to stay furious with her. Carefully, more so than I had ever known her to be, she placed my spectacles back on my nose. As soon as they were in place I could see her face clearly. It was streaked with tears and her eyes were not full of the confidence I loved, instead they shook uncertainly. I had never seen this side of her before. Being an Amazon, Shampoo had always been sure of her place in the world and never questioned whether her actions were right or wrong. But finally she was nothing more than a human being like the rest of us, with weaknesses, desires and fears. It seemed that the fear of my judgement was more frightening to her than anything. At that moment, for the first time in my life, I was in control. Perhaps it was the disarray into which she had been thrown that changed my value in her eyes.
I attempted to limp away when I slipped and crashed back against the wall. My cheeks burned red and I expected to hear her laugh or see her look unimpressed, but instead I felt two cold hands on my bare back. I couldn't stand her to see me so weak and foolish so I swatted them away. The hot summer rain was coming down heavy now, making my glasses almost impossible to see out of and my hair stick to my back and chest. Shampoo kept her distance but walked at my pace somewhere to my right. Finally we reached the Nekohanten having not shared a word since we met in the alley. I stopped. Something had to be said between us.
"Shampoo.what will you do if.if you are denounced from your position?" I ask, fearing to look into her face, to look into her fragile soul. To my surprise she knelt down on the dirty ground of the sidewalk and grasped my hand in her cold one. This was definitely a Shampoo I had never seen before.
".Shampoo brings great shame to Great-Grandmother.she leave for China to see Council on marriage business.maybe Shampoo be killed for dishonour."
I blinked. I didn't think they would be so severe as to issue the death penalty, but she had brought dishonour upon the whole Amazon tribe and made the Matriarch look very bad indeed. I pulled her to her feet. The anger I felt was pushed down. Even though she had done something incredibly dangerous and stupid and I was furious with her for doing it, I knew I was the only one on her side anymore. I was the only thing she could depend on for support now and she had made herself foolish in my eyes. I sighed and pulled her to her feet. I wanted to pull her into my arms and soothe her and stand up for her, but I didn't want to confuse her any further. So I simply placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at me her eyes glistening with threatening tears.
"Shampoo, tomorrow we'll have to see the Tendo's and you have to find an antidote, we'll apologise to Akane's family but don't worry, Ranma has already received satisfaction from me" I turned to open the creaky old door, but a tug on my arm stopped me. She gazed at me with surprise in her large dark eyes. "You mean.Mousse come with Shampoo? .Mousse go back to Tendo's to help Shampoo? .Mousse.do that for.Shampoo?" She stuttered quietly. I sighed and looked her straight in the face. For once her features didn't inspire me with an awe-filled fear. Instead I saw a frightened young woman whom I wanted to crush in a fearsome hug. I nodded and she let go of my arm guiltily looking down at the floor. "Shampoo we wont speak of this to your Grandmother.I'll.talk to her about it" I added entering the back door of the kitchen, leaving her there in the light of the run-down ruin of a restaurant. Talking to Cologne would be like asking an executioner to give you a quick trim.
The week passed and what a week it had been. Since Cologne had ventured forth on her crusade, we had less help around the café. Poor Shampoo had had enough of all of the running around by midweek. The very next day I walked with Shampoo in silence to the Tendo dojo. I noticed her chewing slightly on her lip and gave her arm a squeeze. She looked up at me, her expression unreadable. After facing the Tendos and delivering an antidote, we said our quiet apologies and left. The cold air in which the Tendo family greeted us had affected Shampoo greatly, silencing her usual cheery air. I caught us a rickshaw home, I knew she just wasn't up to walking back. She knew deep within that all she had achieved was to drive Ranma and Akane closer together and she was coping with it very well. There are a great many things that I admire about Shampoo and her absolute commitment to her cause is just one of her facets.
Throughout that quiet and confusing week, Shampoo acted very differently towards me. I didn't pull any of my usual public shows of affection, because I knew this was the first time Shampoo had been so humiliated and I didn't want to upset her anymore. I really did understand and I wanted somewhere in the back of my head for Shampoo to come around to the fact that she was all I had left too. Maybe then she could love me. However my sense of honour would not allow me to take advantage of her the way Amazon traditions permit. The law of "Role Reversal"
After being scorned or disgraced, the chosen husband may have only one chance to revoke the marriage laws. It is his one chance for a say over the wedding procedures. It was obvious that Cologne would put this proposition to Ranma when she returned and of course he would accept. However there was a loophole in order to speed re-marriage up. A rival male could, in this circumstance, reach a private agreement with the reluctant husband and in that case would only have to draw in a fight to earn his wife. This law was driving me crazy. It was strange by-law made especially for cases of Amazons who failed to be graceful or articulate. So long as there was a man rivalling the Amazon's fiancé, the law could be used. Although it was perfectly acceptable, I found it to be an extremely perverse and demeaning method at this time.
Anyway.Shampoo was being incredibly tolerant of me and was being very brave by keeping a stiff upper lip. I had a strange nagging feeling that all this might change the instant her Great-grandmother returned with "good news". All I prayed for was Shampoo to be allowed to retain her life. If not then that law might come in handy. After catching a glimpse of Shampoo holding a knife very contemplatively when she was cleaning up, I got scared. What thoughts were creeping through her mind? What might she do if she was pushed to the edge? Suicide was considered a honourable way for an Amazon to die, but I couldn't bear the thought that I might lose the one thing that kept me breathing everyday.
So I took matters into my own hands. It must have been Thursday afternoon when I slipped out of the café without Shampoo noticing. She had gone for a nap when business was slow. I'd only be gone for a few minutes anyway. I waited around the corner from his school, in the shadows waiting for the sounding of the bell and the hordes of students to come bustling out. I spotted Saotome walking with Akane and watched them until they were alone. Approaching in my usual method I surprised them. Sufficed to say that Ranma was his ordinary arrogant self. I must admit I was happy to see that Akane was completely cured. Glad that she was off my conscience I turned to Ranma. He was indeed interested by the ins and outs of the law and agreed to co-operate with me, though his original fiancé looked dubious at first. Ranma however understood my motives, remembering the action and words that had taken place during the fight. When he began to remove his coat to fight me I chuckled and looked up through my fringe at him. My hands tucked tightly into my sleeves, I smiled wryly.
"Why Ranma.there is no need for us to fight. So long as we agree that a fight took place and that it was a draw, I shall be satisfied"
He drew me a strange look. I had thought this through very carefully. After last week's confrontation, I was in no state to fight against him and it wouldn't matter anyway.
"You see, if Cologne should return with bad news about Shampoo's verdict, the law will save her from that. Cologne will be much more interested in the fact that the proposition will preserve the life of her granddaughter than proving its validity. After all, Cologne may be an Amazon but she loves her family enough to prefer them to live in dishonour rather than not to live at all."
Ranma's eyes flashed and he nodded, understanding "So what d'ya want me to do?" he asked with a little suspicion lacing his words.
I chuckled lowly again "Nothing.all you have to do is back up my claim with Cologne"
We share a mutual smile. It took care of both our problems and we shook hands on it. I watched as Ranma and his future wife continued on their way home and for once I wished the young pair good luck in their lives. They deserved it.
Friday afternoon came and went and Shampoo and I were packing up shop when the familiar sound of a cane tapping on the floor emanated from the kitchen. We both knew what it meant. Cologne had returned with the verdict. I glanced over at Shampoo who had been cleaning a table. Her face had the most magnificent expression of a martyr. Her jaw was hardened and protruded slightly and her eyes gained their confidence and steely grip I knew and loved. Then she did something I hadn't expected. She turned and stretched her hand out towards me, gesturing for me to take it. I slowly moved forward and stood beside her to look at her. She gently took my large rough hand in her small smooth cold one.
"Mousse help Shampoo big, Shampoo want Mousse to hear what council say," She said, a short-pressured smile curving her lips. A tear rolled down my cheek and she frowned slightly.
In what seemed like an age, Shampoo and I walked hand in hand across the length of the chequered floor to the kitchen. It was the most terrifying stroll of my life. I felt as though judgement was being passed on me as well. But Shampoo held her composure with as much conviction as a hero and I became lost in her strength as she held my hand so lovingly.
My heart sank when we reached the kitchen table and the Ghoul sat with her back to us. Shampoo spoke in our native tongue
"Great-grandmother and honoured elder of our clan, I ask for my judgement"
I felt my throat closing and my stomach churn. I can only imagine what pain and fear Shampoo was feeling. After a moment of deafening silence, the old monkey mummy spoke.
"Xian-Pu, my Granddaughter, you have brought great dishonour upon our house. Sacred law prohibited the method that you used to claim your husband from the love of another. It has brought great shame upon our house and humiliation to my name."
She turned to face her prodigy and I swear I saw pity in those stern old eyes. "It has been decreed that you are to be executed by stoning."
I gasped and felt my head spin as I grasped her hand in both of mine. However, Shampoo did not even flinch. She had accepted her fate before it had been given to her. Amazon's take their reputation and laws very seriously. Death by fair combat is a honourable way for an Amazon to claim a husband. If he resists then a barrage of other methods may be used. However certain procedures, deemed to be shameful, are strictly off limits. These include poisoning and drowning among many others. But I wouldn't accept it.
I fell to my knees in front of Shampoo and cried. I cried because she could not and I cried because of the underhanded way in which I would save her. Tears rolled down my cheeks like water from a waterfall as I hugged her waist and pressed my cheek against her firm but small stomach. I could hear her heart beating erratically. She was scared as I was. Suddenly I snapped to my senses and looked up at Cologne.
"No." I spoke shakily She looked thoroughly irritated with this and scowled at me "Be quiet boy, don't you think I've done everything in my power to stop this?" She hissed venomously. I simply shook my head and heaved my injured body to my feet. "No, there is another way.The law of "Role Reversal"" I informed her coldly, trying to keep my composure.
Her face cleared of its wrinkles as realisation dawned upon her. "but ...wait.this bill cannot be passed after the verdict has been given" She almost shouted, feeling revulsion at the backfiring of a last ditch effort.
"The law was consummated on Thursday afternoon." I stated blandly. I could feel Shampoo's eyes on me. I didn't know what to read from them and I could feel a cold sweat trickling to my spine.
"You beat . Son-in-law?" She stammered incredulously. Her eyes narrowed at me as her suspicion grew.
"No, I merely drew with him. This is permissible" I countered her again, before she could throw any more doubts at me I added "The law is binding" I shot her a hot stare.
The old relic sighed and looked at Shampoo. "You should thank Mousse, he has saved your life.Shampoo.this world is a wonderful one, if not cruel. Life is worth more than honour." She admitted quietly, grateful for the life of her granddaughter. With that she retired, planning to return to China the next day to straighten matters out with the council members.
I was left alone in the room with her, her eyes boring a hole into the silk of my robes. Truly in all my life, I had never known a worse situation. So I did the only thing I could do. I walked out of the door.
I walked into the street and I simply walked. I didn't think, I didn't speak, I didn't do anything but cry. I cried because I had tied her to a life of marriage to me. Though so many times I had reached for her love, fought for it and begged for it, I always wanted her to come willingly. I hoped that someday she'd love me and marry me. Well now she was going to marry me, but at the same time, she might never love me. I couldn't bear to see her trapped in an unhappy, dishonourable life. I loved her too much. What had I done? In saving her, I had almost certainly killed the Shampoo whom I loved so dearly.
I have no idea how long I had been gone from the Nekohanten, but by the time I returned it was dark out. I could hear the strings of Cologne's radio sailing through the night air as I reached my home from home in Nerima. I just wanted to go to bed and stay as far away from Shampoo as I could. By this time, I guessed, Cologne had explained the ins and outs of the law to her granddaughter. And she no doubt was disgusted by the whole idea. Great, my life was just great.
Quietly shuffling upstairs, I heard the most horrible sound in the world. Shampoo crying. It normally made me ache with pity, but now, it shattered my soul. She was crying because she couldn't stand the thought of being married to me. I just wanted to die. I don't think I could have survived a life where I had Shampoo, but never had her. Slowly I pulled my weak aching lithe body up the last flight of stairs and collapsed on my messy futon. Taking my coat off I lay there on my stomach staring at nothing, tears pouring from my dull lifeless eyes. I didn't even hear the footsteps.
Suddenly I froze. I could feel a pair of cold hands on my lower back. Jerking up I twisted around and saw through a haze of blur, Shampoo. I clumsily reached for my glasses and she laughted. It was mirthful and bright, fuelled by the look of absolute bewilderment on my face. She cooed gently to me and I stiffly lay back down on the bed. Softly and carefully, Shampoo began rubbing the kinks out of my tough and bruised skin. I can honestly say I have never felt anything quite so close to heaven in my life. Her tiny hands moved with such accuracy and tenderness, I found myself weeping.
"Mousse.why you cry?" She asked sadly, but I couldn't help it.
I twisted around once again and caught her hands soothingly in my own and looked at her face. "I'm sorry I trapped you into a marriage you didn't want, but I couldn't.I wouldn't let them.oh.Shampoo." I squeaked weakly. I couldn't banish images of her running half naked through the town being pelted by stones until she was smashed to a pulp in some grotty little street corner. I couldn't let that happen to my Shampoo.
I scrunched my eyes shut until I felt her weight press against my back. I opened my eyes to find a lock of lavender hair spill over my shoulder. Her delicate hands titled my face back as she leant forward. Then she whispered something in my ear I know I shall never forget.
"Shampoo.want marriage" Her voice was soft like silk and high like the summer breeze.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I rolled over onto my back, so that she lay beside me on my futon. "What?" My expression must have bothered her because she touched the side of my face with her small fingers. I clutched her hand tightly against it, fearing to let the sensation disappear. She sighed lightly
"No one stay with Shampoo but Mousse.Mousse believe in Shampoo when everyone give me up for dead. No one love Shampoo like Mousse.not Grandmother, not Ranma.just Mousse"
My heart was thumping in my chest. I'm sure she noticed the compassion I was feeling, because she looked into my eyes and leant closer to my ear. She was going to say something which was obviously hard for her to admit "Mousse.make Shampoo want to live.Mousse make Shampoo strong.Mousse make Shampoo.safe" She whispered, bursting the balloon that was my sorrow and filling my body with happiness.
A single tear trickled down her face and I then did something that I didn't think I'd ever have the courage to do. I leaned towards her and closed my eyes delicately. My tongue brushed against her cheek as I licked her tears away. Even with my blurred vision I saw Shampoo's face crinkle into an expression I don't think she even understood, something between bliss and soul-wrenching guilt.
I exhaled slowly as she huddled into my chest and my arms found themselves hopelessly entangled around her.
"I'll never let you go Mousse.never.never.never." She sighed in Mandarin. I licked away the salty taste of her tear with the tip of my tongue, promising myself that it would be the very last tear of sorrow she would cry. I kissed her forehead and whispered
"Shampoo.I love you."
She titled her face upwards, looking like squirrel curled up in its tail: curious and expectant. She gently removed my glasses and pulled my chin tenderly towards her. I couldn't see what happened next but I certainly felt it. Her small lips burnt a needy tail over my eyelids and followed a route to my mouth. I shuddered a breath before she pushed her plum lips against mine and I was lost.
Now as I lie here with Shampoo in my arms, mere seconds later, I decide that getting lost in a kiss from Shampoo is much more satisfying than getting lost in a piece of music.
"Mousse.I love you." She sighs in harmony with my beating heart " .I love you."
by
Yamcha's Big Pants (YBP) aka Kirsty-chan ^_~