Chapter Five: Don't Let the Boogie Bug Bite
Early Wednesday morning, Zim awoke to a pounding on his door. He opened it, and found Dib. "What do you want, pathetic Earth-monkey?"
"The girl we know isn't really my great-great-great granddaughter Sal! She's an Irken named Raina who's out to kill me!"
"Stop whining and tell me what your point is!"
"The real Sal is being held captive in the year 2207. We have to save her!"
"You're right, for once! We can't let them kill her, or a paradox in time will be created! Follow me!" Zim led the earthboy to his lab, and showed him what looked like a teleporter. "This is a time teleporter. With it, we can go to any year we want."
"Set it to 2207."
"All right." He made the adjustments, and they got in. When they got out, the lab was no more. They were inside a futuristic looking mall, and holographic advertisements and posters were just about everywhere.
"Can I help you?" a voice came from a screen with the image of a lady's head. She had black hair with blue and green streaks, wore a dark purple shirt, and had a fairly large head. What Dib noticed immediately were her pointed ears.
"Um...Do you know where Sal was last?"
"Sal? Sal who? There are approximately twenty people within the city whose name is Sal."
"She has pointed ears. Like yours."
"What is your name? Are you one of her friends from skool? I'll tell her when she gets home from her UFO hunting trip. Or I could page her now, if you'd like."
"My name is Dib. Dib Membrane."
"That's impossible. Dib Membrane died sixty-nine years ago, at the age of ninety-six. I should know. He's my great-great-grandfather, and I wish I had known him in my lifetime."
"Then that means your Sal's mother... What's your name?"
"My name is Gaz Katazure. I was named after his sister."
"My sister. You see, I'm from the past. One hundred and fifty-three years ago. I'm twelve right now. And I have some news concerning your daughter."
"How should I trust you? You're probably just playing some kind of prank on me. It's not funny, you little juvenile delinquent!"
"I swear, I am! Run a DNA test. Check my fingerprints. You've got to believe me!"
"I'll order security to check, but just because you request!" Security came and scrutinized him carefully. One person took his fingers and scanned them with an oblong tool.
"It's a match! He is Dib Membrane!" Everyone in the surrounding area gasped in surprise. "Mrs. Katazure, come here!" The woman from the screen ran up to where Dib was and opened her eyes wide.
"What do you know about my daughter?"
"She's being held captive by some alien rebels from the planet Irk! They planned to kill me in the past where I wouldn't have guards, so as to make sure that everyone else in my future family dies!"
"Who's that alien behind you?"
"That's Zim. We're enemies because he was going to conquer Earth, but he..." Dib shuddered at the thought, "...he fell in love with her. So he's not going to destroy us. But we need to rescue my great-great-great granddaughter Sal!"
"Where do you think they might be?"
"I don't know. I just got here."
"We'll use the store computer to locate her! I just hope she's okay!" Dib followed her to a computer near the center of the store, and she commanded it to find her.
"Sal is in the former home of Dib Membrane," the computer stated.
"Let's go. Tell my boss that I have to save my daughter." They took off for his house, and the city really looked quite different. On their way, a hologram asked them if they'd like to subscribe to Space Satellite Monitoring Daily Magazine. Cars either flew, or were jet propelled. They continued to run until they came upon his house.
"This is my house?" It looked very different, for it had an external glass elevator that led to certain floors, and had been modified with the latest technology.
"Yes. I officially own it, but I had to rent some of it out for extra cash. Apparently they have taken my dear Sal."
"If they did anything to her, I swear, I'll-"
"Not if I save her first, Dib-monkey!"
"Zim?! What are you doing here?!"
"To save Sal! What else would I be doing here at your miserable home?"
"Why do you care?"
"You should know now, Dib-worm! I love her."
"You never met Sal. Neither have I. It's been Raina the whole time!"
"No! Remember, I did a scan the first day. She was human then! Raina must have traded places with Sal when we weren't looking. I fell in love with Sal, not Raina! I could tell that she was Sal. Raina must have traded places with her when she was in your house."
"Are we going to save her, or what?"
"Let's take this conveniently placed elevator to the second floor." They boarded the elevator to the top, and Dib gasped.
"Look what they've done to my room!" Replacing his posters of aliens and such were photographs of...well, aliens. Irkens on battlefields, in everyday life, etc. One thing he noticed in particular was that they were all tall. He came across photographs of Sal tacked onto a bulletin board and some Irken writing. "Zim, what's this say?!"
"'With the elimination of the girl known as Sal along with the rest of her family leading back to the one known as Dib, there will be a revolution of the tall Irkens of Irk.' They want to kill Sal!"
"Of course they do! And if I die, then she's going to die, so if you want her alive, you'd better not do anything to me!"
"Curse you! We'd better find where she is, though." They scanned the room and finally Zim shrieked out.
"What is it? Did you find her?"
"Yes, I believe so. Or at least a passage leading to her. Here. It says that this is where they store all people who they intend to kill. All we have to do is to prove that I am an Irken by going though the scanners."
"How do I get in?"
"I don't really care."
"You have to let me go with you! If I'm here alone, I might get caught, and killed! Then Sal would die!"
"Come along! Filthy humans, worth less than one of their measly cents!"
"Hey! Sal's a human too!"
"Well, she's an exception!"
"Let's just find her and get out, okay?"
"All right." Zim put his hand on a scanner and let a laser examine his eyes. "Don't fall behind, or you'll get zapped!" They walked along a narrow passageway, a dark and dank place, almost like a cave. Half walking, half stumbling, the two enemies came about an enormous room with computers and other such technical apparatus cluttering the floors and walls, except for the center, where a single table rested - and on it was strapped Sal. "Sal, wai-" Instantly Dib slapped his hand over Zim's mouth.
"Do you want to get us and Sal killed?! We're in luck, no one's in there besides Sal."
"It could be a trap. I'd better go in. I could care less about you, but I don't want Sal to die."
"Make sure you get her out alive."
"I will." Zim made his way down to where Sal was strapped in, and began to undo the restraints. "Sal, speak to me. Are you all right?"
"Bright...lights...shining...in my eyes...Zim, is that you?"
"Yes, it is I. Sal, I love you."
"I love you too, Zim." Zim picked her up, and looked affectionately into her eyes. He brought her close to him, and kissed her. She feebly said, "My blood belongs to Dib, but my heart belongs to you."
"We must hurry now." He carried her to where Dib was standing, and began to walk her through the hall, when Dib raised his hand with a laser gun.
"Don't move, or Sal gets it."
"Dib, stop this foolishness, right now!"
"Oh, I'm not Dib. I'm an Irken, just like you, disguised as him, and I want to terminate that human."
"No! Don't hurt Sal! And don't kill Dib! If he dies, Sal dies!"
"I am already aware of that fact, and I intend to kill that human now, and then kill Dib after."
"Leave them alone!"
"Give up that pitiful creature now, and help your own kind, rather than catering to that human's needs and wants."
"Give me up, Zim. I can't let them kill Dib. It'd destroy the rest of my family as well. Even if I could, with everyone else gone, I'd never want to live! Never!"
"Please, no!"
"It's the only way, Zim. Don't let them kill Dib. It's better that just I die rather than my entire family dying."
"Okay..." Zim set her down on the ground gently, and then jumped on the Irken disguised as Dib and began to pummel him furiously. "Surrender the Dib and I'll spare you!"
"All right, all right. Here he is," he pressed a button on a wristwatch, and disappeared. In his place was the real Dib, looking quite frightened.
"That felt good beating you up. Too bad it was just an imposter." He picked Sal up once more, and began to carry her out of the room and to the elevator.
"Zim, I want you to stay away from Sal. I don't want you to ever get near her, again."
"Why?"
"Stop playing dumb, Zim. We both know why. I hate you, and I can't allow you to endanger the ones I love. Stay away from my family for the rest of your life. Stay away from my planet. Give me Sal."
"No."
"WHAT did you say?"
"I can't let you take care of her. She needs to be somewhere safe."
"She's MY great-great-great granddaughter! She's not safe in her own time right now, so I should take care of her! I don't trust you!" They reached the ground, and Sal's mother interjected,
"I trust that you would take care of my daughter, Dib, but you are one of our ancestors, and she needs someone to protect her who is able to give their life up for her if the need arose. I don't think it would be best."
"But, but, but..."
"I will give you each a time stick. It will allow you to go back home. Just set the date that is your destination." She handed them both some florescent blue rods, and they set it to 2054. Shortly they appeared back in their own time, outside of Dib's house in the year 2054.
"Wait! Before you take Sal with you, I want to say goodbye to her."
"Okay." Dib walked up to her, and they embraced. Tears were at their eyes.
"I love you, Sal. You're almost like my future daughter, even though you're farther along on the family tree."
"You seem to me to be the father I never had."
"Never had?"
"Yes. My father died when I was very young."
"I'm sorry. When were you taken back to your time and held captive?"
"When you were changing. I had to go to the bathroom, but I was beamed back into my time in trade for Raina."
"As soon as you get the opportunity, why don't you surprise Zim with a water balloon fight? He really loves it when you splash him with water by surprise."
"Okay. I'll be sure to remember that."
"Will the only time I ever see you again be in the classroom?"
"I don't think so. I'll make sure that I get to invite you over and visit you."
"I'll visit you and invite you to come over too." They hugged again, and looked at each other.
"I've always dreamed of meeting you. Everyone, throughout my whole life, has told me how lucky I am to be descended from you. I've studied about you in skool, and I've always wanted to meet you. It's a wonderful world in the future compared with right now. I really wish I could stay with you, but my mother has a point. Zim is able to give his life up for me."
"And I would if I could."
"All right, now! It's not like you're never going to see each other again! And there is such a thing as a telephone, and you'll see each other tomorrow!"
"I bet you'd have more words of protest if she was staying with me!"
"We have to leave now, though, or they might catch up with us!"
"All right. Goodbye, Sal."
"Goodbye, Dib." They left, and Dib went inside. He sighed, and saw that Mysterious Mysteries was beginning. Without another moment's thought, he turned the television screen off and sat down on the couch. Sometimes all the things that happened to him - Bigfoot in the garage, Zim landing on Earth, his future great-great-great granddaughter coming - seemed as if it was all a part of a dream and that he'd wake up at any moment. It was as if he was in a haze, and he couldn't quite grasp the events taking place before him, and could only catch it in glimpses. As though nothing were real, and that everything really was in his mind. Of course, he knew much better, but still, it was often more tempting to just believe that he was hallucinating and Zim wasn't really an alien and Bigfoot was never really in his garage - not much more tempting, but just a little.
One thing he knew he would never want to be just imagining, though - Sal. Never could he believe that she wasn't real. Whenever she'd talk to him, smile at him, look at him, he felt something jolt inside of him - a rush of confidence, a knowledge that he'd actually do something right in his life. After all, why bother saving the Earth if you couldn't do something to help prevent its ultimate downfall, anyway?
Shortly afterward, he heard the phone ring. "Hello?"
"Dib, it's me, Sal."
"Oh, hi Sal."
"Zim just asked me to go out with him." Dib slapped his forehead.
"W-what did you say?"
"I said yes. Please, listen! He's really quite likeable, and I love being around him...and I..."
"Yes...?"
"Aren't you going to tell me how I can't date him?"
"I want to hear what it is you like about him."
"Huh?"
"What makes him likeable to you?"
"Well, he tells some funny jokes, and is really nice - he complimented me a few times and was understanding when I told him I couldn't let him hurt you in any way - and I...I love him..." Sal was crying, causing Dib to panic.
"Please, don't cry...I just wanted you to be happy, that's all. I'm worried that he's tricking you for some reason and he's going to hurt you...I didn't mean to...please, don't cry!"
"He said that if you let us date, he'd set you up with someone named Tak."
"What?! Tak?! How could he think I like her, she tried to destroy Earth!"
"I don't know anything about her, but he said that you like her, and-"
"Put Zim on the line!"
"Okay. Zim, could you come here? Dib wants to talk to you."
"What do you want, worm-monkey?!"
"Zim, how could you tell my great-great-great granddaughter such lies?!"
"What are you talking about?!"
"Telling her that I like Tak! That's stupid! Besides, how could you get Tak to go on a date with me?! She hates your guts!"
"Yes, but she doesn't hate yours. She actually said she liked you."
"Tak said that? About me? You're kidding, right?"
"No, I'm not. She said she thinks you're cute."
"She...did? She actually said that?!"
"Yes, very much so."
"Could you put me in communications with her?"
"Oh, yes, I'd love to." He waited a bit, and then heard someone's voice.
"Hello? Who is this?"
"Tak? It's me, Dib, from Earth. I'd really like to get together with you sometime, maybe your place?"
"I told you to get over me, long ago, now quit bothering me!" he heard a click on the telephone, and Zim's voice came back on.
"I knew it. You like an Irken. Admit it! We're superior!" Dib, whose cheeks were now bright red, realized that he'd been had.
"Did...Sal hear that?"
"Yes, and she's looking a little angry...what's wrong, sweetie?"
"Don't call me SWEETIE!"
"No, I'm talking to Sal!"
"Don't call HER sweetie either!"
"Sal, don't feel that way..."
"What's wrong, Zim?!"
"I'd better put her on the line."
"Dib, I can't believe he did that to you! I told him not to hurt you, and that means emotionally, too! Tricking you into thinking that Tak liked you just to get you to confess in front of us! That's not right! I have no problem with you liking an invading alien - after all, I like Zim, don't I? Or at least I USED to like him! He's not being so nice now! He's acting more like a human would right now. Stooping to such low devices to get you to say something that doesn't even matter! Your emotions are yours to keep secret from everyone else, if you wish to! I can't believe he'd do something so CHILDISH!"
"Don't get so upset, it's not really a big deal."
"It is to me. I can't go out with someone like that. But no one could like me like he does. I just wish...I just wish someone out there would care...someone like Zim, but better than him."
"Don't give up hope. You're a wonderful girl...I'm sure that someone will see that..."
"You're right. And don't give up hope because Tak doesn't like you. I'm sure you'll find someone you like much better than her."
"Thanks. Well, good luck. I love you. Goodnight."
"Goodnight. What is it that they used to say? Don't let the boogie bug bite!" Dib chuckled a little, and replied back,
"Yeah, that's it. The boogie bug. Don't let the boogie bug bite. Goodnight Sal."
"Goodnight Dib." The phone clicked, and he set it back down on the receiver. He got up and headed toward his room.
"Well, I...guess I'll turn in early."
Early Wednesday morning, Zim awoke to a pounding on his door. He opened it, and found Dib. "What do you want, pathetic Earth-monkey?"
"The girl we know isn't really my great-great-great granddaughter Sal! She's an Irken named Raina who's out to kill me!"
"Stop whining and tell me what your point is!"
"The real Sal is being held captive in the year 2207. We have to save her!"
"You're right, for once! We can't let them kill her, or a paradox in time will be created! Follow me!" Zim led the earthboy to his lab, and showed him what looked like a teleporter. "This is a time teleporter. With it, we can go to any year we want."
"Set it to 2207."
"All right." He made the adjustments, and they got in. When they got out, the lab was no more. They were inside a futuristic looking mall, and holographic advertisements and posters were just about everywhere.
"Can I help you?" a voice came from a screen with the image of a lady's head. She had black hair with blue and green streaks, wore a dark purple shirt, and had a fairly large head. What Dib noticed immediately were her pointed ears.
"Um...Do you know where Sal was last?"
"Sal? Sal who? There are approximately twenty people within the city whose name is Sal."
"She has pointed ears. Like yours."
"What is your name? Are you one of her friends from skool? I'll tell her when she gets home from her UFO hunting trip. Or I could page her now, if you'd like."
"My name is Dib. Dib Membrane."
"That's impossible. Dib Membrane died sixty-nine years ago, at the age of ninety-six. I should know. He's my great-great-grandfather, and I wish I had known him in my lifetime."
"Then that means your Sal's mother... What's your name?"
"My name is Gaz Katazure. I was named after his sister."
"My sister. You see, I'm from the past. One hundred and fifty-three years ago. I'm twelve right now. And I have some news concerning your daughter."
"How should I trust you? You're probably just playing some kind of prank on me. It's not funny, you little juvenile delinquent!"
"I swear, I am! Run a DNA test. Check my fingerprints. You've got to believe me!"
"I'll order security to check, but just because you request!" Security came and scrutinized him carefully. One person took his fingers and scanned them with an oblong tool.
"It's a match! He is Dib Membrane!" Everyone in the surrounding area gasped in surprise. "Mrs. Katazure, come here!" The woman from the screen ran up to where Dib was and opened her eyes wide.
"What do you know about my daughter?"
"She's being held captive by some alien rebels from the planet Irk! They planned to kill me in the past where I wouldn't have guards, so as to make sure that everyone else in my future family dies!"
"Who's that alien behind you?"
"That's Zim. We're enemies because he was going to conquer Earth, but he..." Dib shuddered at the thought, "...he fell in love with her. So he's not going to destroy us. But we need to rescue my great-great-great granddaughter Sal!"
"Where do you think they might be?"
"I don't know. I just got here."
"We'll use the store computer to locate her! I just hope she's okay!" Dib followed her to a computer near the center of the store, and she commanded it to find her.
"Sal is in the former home of Dib Membrane," the computer stated.
"Let's go. Tell my boss that I have to save my daughter." They took off for his house, and the city really looked quite different. On their way, a hologram asked them if they'd like to subscribe to Space Satellite Monitoring Daily Magazine. Cars either flew, or were jet propelled. They continued to run until they came upon his house.
"This is my house?" It looked very different, for it had an external glass elevator that led to certain floors, and had been modified with the latest technology.
"Yes. I officially own it, but I had to rent some of it out for extra cash. Apparently they have taken my dear Sal."
"If they did anything to her, I swear, I'll-"
"Not if I save her first, Dib-monkey!"
"Zim?! What are you doing here?!"
"To save Sal! What else would I be doing here at your miserable home?"
"Why do you care?"
"You should know now, Dib-worm! I love her."
"You never met Sal. Neither have I. It's been Raina the whole time!"
"No! Remember, I did a scan the first day. She was human then! Raina must have traded places with Sal when we weren't looking. I fell in love with Sal, not Raina! I could tell that she was Sal. Raina must have traded places with her when she was in your house."
"Are we going to save her, or what?"
"Let's take this conveniently placed elevator to the second floor." They boarded the elevator to the top, and Dib gasped.
"Look what they've done to my room!" Replacing his posters of aliens and such were photographs of...well, aliens. Irkens on battlefields, in everyday life, etc. One thing he noticed in particular was that they were all tall. He came across photographs of Sal tacked onto a bulletin board and some Irken writing. "Zim, what's this say?!"
"'With the elimination of the girl known as Sal along with the rest of her family leading back to the one known as Dib, there will be a revolution of the tall Irkens of Irk.' They want to kill Sal!"
"Of course they do! And if I die, then she's going to die, so if you want her alive, you'd better not do anything to me!"
"Curse you! We'd better find where she is, though." They scanned the room and finally Zim shrieked out.
"What is it? Did you find her?"
"Yes, I believe so. Or at least a passage leading to her. Here. It says that this is where they store all people who they intend to kill. All we have to do is to prove that I am an Irken by going though the scanners."
"How do I get in?"
"I don't really care."
"You have to let me go with you! If I'm here alone, I might get caught, and killed! Then Sal would die!"
"Come along! Filthy humans, worth less than one of their measly cents!"
"Hey! Sal's a human too!"
"Well, she's an exception!"
"Let's just find her and get out, okay?"
"All right." Zim put his hand on a scanner and let a laser examine his eyes. "Don't fall behind, or you'll get zapped!" They walked along a narrow passageway, a dark and dank place, almost like a cave. Half walking, half stumbling, the two enemies came about an enormous room with computers and other such technical apparatus cluttering the floors and walls, except for the center, where a single table rested - and on it was strapped Sal. "Sal, wai-" Instantly Dib slapped his hand over Zim's mouth.
"Do you want to get us and Sal killed?! We're in luck, no one's in there besides Sal."
"It could be a trap. I'd better go in. I could care less about you, but I don't want Sal to die."
"Make sure you get her out alive."
"I will." Zim made his way down to where Sal was strapped in, and began to undo the restraints. "Sal, speak to me. Are you all right?"
"Bright...lights...shining...in my eyes...Zim, is that you?"
"Yes, it is I. Sal, I love you."
"I love you too, Zim." Zim picked her up, and looked affectionately into her eyes. He brought her close to him, and kissed her. She feebly said, "My blood belongs to Dib, but my heart belongs to you."
"We must hurry now." He carried her to where Dib was standing, and began to walk her through the hall, when Dib raised his hand with a laser gun.
"Don't move, or Sal gets it."
"Dib, stop this foolishness, right now!"
"Oh, I'm not Dib. I'm an Irken, just like you, disguised as him, and I want to terminate that human."
"No! Don't hurt Sal! And don't kill Dib! If he dies, Sal dies!"
"I am already aware of that fact, and I intend to kill that human now, and then kill Dib after."
"Leave them alone!"
"Give up that pitiful creature now, and help your own kind, rather than catering to that human's needs and wants."
"Give me up, Zim. I can't let them kill Dib. It'd destroy the rest of my family as well. Even if I could, with everyone else gone, I'd never want to live! Never!"
"Please, no!"
"It's the only way, Zim. Don't let them kill Dib. It's better that just I die rather than my entire family dying."
"Okay..." Zim set her down on the ground gently, and then jumped on the Irken disguised as Dib and began to pummel him furiously. "Surrender the Dib and I'll spare you!"
"All right, all right. Here he is," he pressed a button on a wristwatch, and disappeared. In his place was the real Dib, looking quite frightened.
"That felt good beating you up. Too bad it was just an imposter." He picked Sal up once more, and began to carry her out of the room and to the elevator.
"Zim, I want you to stay away from Sal. I don't want you to ever get near her, again."
"Why?"
"Stop playing dumb, Zim. We both know why. I hate you, and I can't allow you to endanger the ones I love. Stay away from my family for the rest of your life. Stay away from my planet. Give me Sal."
"No."
"WHAT did you say?"
"I can't let you take care of her. She needs to be somewhere safe."
"She's MY great-great-great granddaughter! She's not safe in her own time right now, so I should take care of her! I don't trust you!" They reached the ground, and Sal's mother interjected,
"I trust that you would take care of my daughter, Dib, but you are one of our ancestors, and she needs someone to protect her who is able to give their life up for her if the need arose. I don't think it would be best."
"But, but, but..."
"I will give you each a time stick. It will allow you to go back home. Just set the date that is your destination." She handed them both some florescent blue rods, and they set it to 2054. Shortly they appeared back in their own time, outside of Dib's house in the year 2054.
"Wait! Before you take Sal with you, I want to say goodbye to her."
"Okay." Dib walked up to her, and they embraced. Tears were at their eyes.
"I love you, Sal. You're almost like my future daughter, even though you're farther along on the family tree."
"You seem to me to be the father I never had."
"Never had?"
"Yes. My father died when I was very young."
"I'm sorry. When were you taken back to your time and held captive?"
"When you were changing. I had to go to the bathroom, but I was beamed back into my time in trade for Raina."
"As soon as you get the opportunity, why don't you surprise Zim with a water balloon fight? He really loves it when you splash him with water by surprise."
"Okay. I'll be sure to remember that."
"Will the only time I ever see you again be in the classroom?"
"I don't think so. I'll make sure that I get to invite you over and visit you."
"I'll visit you and invite you to come over too." They hugged again, and looked at each other.
"I've always dreamed of meeting you. Everyone, throughout my whole life, has told me how lucky I am to be descended from you. I've studied about you in skool, and I've always wanted to meet you. It's a wonderful world in the future compared with right now. I really wish I could stay with you, but my mother has a point. Zim is able to give his life up for me."
"And I would if I could."
"All right, now! It's not like you're never going to see each other again! And there is such a thing as a telephone, and you'll see each other tomorrow!"
"I bet you'd have more words of protest if she was staying with me!"
"We have to leave now, though, or they might catch up with us!"
"All right. Goodbye, Sal."
"Goodbye, Dib." They left, and Dib went inside. He sighed, and saw that Mysterious Mysteries was beginning. Without another moment's thought, he turned the television screen off and sat down on the couch. Sometimes all the things that happened to him - Bigfoot in the garage, Zim landing on Earth, his future great-great-great granddaughter coming - seemed as if it was all a part of a dream and that he'd wake up at any moment. It was as if he was in a haze, and he couldn't quite grasp the events taking place before him, and could only catch it in glimpses. As though nothing were real, and that everything really was in his mind. Of course, he knew much better, but still, it was often more tempting to just believe that he was hallucinating and Zim wasn't really an alien and Bigfoot was never really in his garage - not much more tempting, but just a little.
One thing he knew he would never want to be just imagining, though - Sal. Never could he believe that she wasn't real. Whenever she'd talk to him, smile at him, look at him, he felt something jolt inside of him - a rush of confidence, a knowledge that he'd actually do something right in his life. After all, why bother saving the Earth if you couldn't do something to help prevent its ultimate downfall, anyway?
Shortly afterward, he heard the phone ring. "Hello?"
"Dib, it's me, Sal."
"Oh, hi Sal."
"Zim just asked me to go out with him." Dib slapped his forehead.
"W-what did you say?"
"I said yes. Please, listen! He's really quite likeable, and I love being around him...and I..."
"Yes...?"
"Aren't you going to tell me how I can't date him?"
"I want to hear what it is you like about him."
"Huh?"
"What makes him likeable to you?"
"Well, he tells some funny jokes, and is really nice - he complimented me a few times and was understanding when I told him I couldn't let him hurt you in any way - and I...I love him..." Sal was crying, causing Dib to panic.
"Please, don't cry...I just wanted you to be happy, that's all. I'm worried that he's tricking you for some reason and he's going to hurt you...I didn't mean to...please, don't cry!"
"He said that if you let us date, he'd set you up with someone named Tak."
"What?! Tak?! How could he think I like her, she tried to destroy Earth!"
"I don't know anything about her, but he said that you like her, and-"
"Put Zim on the line!"
"Okay. Zim, could you come here? Dib wants to talk to you."
"What do you want, worm-monkey?!"
"Zim, how could you tell my great-great-great granddaughter such lies?!"
"What are you talking about?!"
"Telling her that I like Tak! That's stupid! Besides, how could you get Tak to go on a date with me?! She hates your guts!"
"Yes, but she doesn't hate yours. She actually said she liked you."
"Tak said that? About me? You're kidding, right?"
"No, I'm not. She said she thinks you're cute."
"She...did? She actually said that?!"
"Yes, very much so."
"Could you put me in communications with her?"
"Oh, yes, I'd love to." He waited a bit, and then heard someone's voice.
"Hello? Who is this?"
"Tak? It's me, Dib, from Earth. I'd really like to get together with you sometime, maybe your place?"
"I told you to get over me, long ago, now quit bothering me!" he heard a click on the telephone, and Zim's voice came back on.
"I knew it. You like an Irken. Admit it! We're superior!" Dib, whose cheeks were now bright red, realized that he'd been had.
"Did...Sal hear that?"
"Yes, and she's looking a little angry...what's wrong, sweetie?"
"Don't call me SWEETIE!"
"No, I'm talking to Sal!"
"Don't call HER sweetie either!"
"Sal, don't feel that way..."
"What's wrong, Zim?!"
"I'd better put her on the line."
"Dib, I can't believe he did that to you! I told him not to hurt you, and that means emotionally, too! Tricking you into thinking that Tak liked you just to get you to confess in front of us! That's not right! I have no problem with you liking an invading alien - after all, I like Zim, don't I? Or at least I USED to like him! He's not being so nice now! He's acting more like a human would right now. Stooping to such low devices to get you to say something that doesn't even matter! Your emotions are yours to keep secret from everyone else, if you wish to! I can't believe he'd do something so CHILDISH!"
"Don't get so upset, it's not really a big deal."
"It is to me. I can't go out with someone like that. But no one could like me like he does. I just wish...I just wish someone out there would care...someone like Zim, but better than him."
"Don't give up hope. You're a wonderful girl...I'm sure that someone will see that..."
"You're right. And don't give up hope because Tak doesn't like you. I'm sure you'll find someone you like much better than her."
"Thanks. Well, good luck. I love you. Goodnight."
"Goodnight. What is it that they used to say? Don't let the boogie bug bite!" Dib chuckled a little, and replied back,
"Yeah, that's it. The boogie bug. Don't let the boogie bug bite. Goodnight Sal."
"Goodnight Dib." The phone clicked, and he set it back down on the receiver. He got up and headed toward his room.
"Well, I...guess I'll turn in early."