By Autumnmist
Hermione Granger crossed her tanned, perfectly smooth legs. And uncrossed them. And crossed them again. Her hair glinted gold-red in the sun. Oh fun, yet another day in the sun watching stupid kids and their stupid parents bob up and down in the surf - looking like they are..oh shit, horny girl, stop that train of thought NOW.
Her walkie-talkie chirped at her. "Yes?"
"Granger check out the new guy on chair 3," Susie whispered.
"Another one? What happened, Danny got too much sun?"
"Just shut up Granger, who cares about Danny when we've got some new guy? Nice ass and a Speedo to boot."
Hermione nudged her sunshades down her nose and inspected the new lifeguard sitting in chair 3. Damn he was fiiiinne!
"Nice spotting Susie! I love it when they leave so little to the imagination. Who is he? What's his name? And more importantly, does he have a girlfriend?" Hermione demanded. She wanted info - NOW. Black hair, slim with a perfectly tanned, perfectly toned swimmer's body. As she watched, the New Guy stretched languidly - ohhh yeah - and settled back into his chair.
"I don't know!! You're closer, go find out!"
Hermione grumbled to herself. Why am I always the info-getter? It's my turn to be the Meet-My-Friend-Who-Is-Definitely-Single! "I am so not closer. You're just embarrassed because you're wearing those silly tankinis to cover up that god-awful bruise on your stomach. I'd never seen such a graceless swan dive in my entire life. It looked more like a belly flop to me. What the hell were you thinking?!"
"Oh shut up Hermione. Just because you look good in a bikini doesn't mean everyone has to wear one. I happen to like-"
"Help help help!! I'm drowning! Help!"
Granger-alerts coming online. Klaxons sounding! Hermione heard the panicked shouts of a Child Drowning. Perched on her gleaming white lifeguard's chair (she had always loved those when she was a kid), she scanned the surf. Far out past where the waves were breaking, she could see a platinum-blond blob bobbing up and down. Hmm looks familiar, oh no matter, Granger to the rescue!
Hermione jumped off her chair, ran to the water and dove in. Turning her head, she saw Mr. Dark-and-Sexy trailing along behind her...
Finally, she reached the Ratty Blond Kid (who by the way, didn't seem to be in any danger) grabbed him, and spun him around. "What do you think you are - DRACO MALFOY!!!!"
Just her luck, out of all people to meet at the beach. Ugh.
"Haha gotcha!" Draco whined and then shrieked as she pushed him under. Lifeguard Ethics be damned. A hand touched her on the shoulder. "Ms. Granger, somehow I doubt the Malfoys would appreciate the deliberate drowning of their precious son. Maybe you should let him go?"
She whirled around and faced directly into two very dark, flashing eyes. He quirked one perfectly formed eyebrow at her, "Let him go?"
She nodded breathlessly and allowed Malfoy to come up sputtering. He could screw himself. She had... other fish to fry. She grabbed her neon pink inflatable inner tube and brandished it. He gave her a look. "What?!? Malfoy said he was drowning; I'm rescuing him." Hermione slammed the tube over Draco's head and began to side-stroke away. Heh. Looks like a frigging neon pink daisy with that tube framing his nearly-white head of hair very neatly.
He glided alongside of her and she glared at him. "Who are you anyway? And how do you know me? How do you know Draco?"
He smirked - sexy sexy smirk - "Oh I've... seen you both around... But...hey how about a drink?"
Hermione nodded mutely. She could hear Susie's voice, "You lucky bitch." And Hermione Granger didn't care. "One sec, ok? I'm on break in a few minutes, how bout I meet you there?"
He nodded in assent and strode off. Gotta love that walk. He walks with confidence knowing that he's got it. And boy, does he have it.
She strolled over to Susie's chair. (Number 2), "Hey Susie, I'm going on break for a little bit, cover for me will you?"
"Yeah ok, meeting Mr. Sexy over at the bar? Lucky bitch."
She gave a mock glare. "Thanks for the support, Susie. Can I borrow your sunscreen?"
Susie waved her hands dismissively at the foot of her chair. "Yeah, sure just grab it. Cop a few feels for me while you're at it ok? I'd do a lot to get my hands on that butt." Melodramatic sigh. "Alas, but it is not to be. Have fun dearie. Don't worry, I'll just have to spend the night here all by my lonesome. *sniff* But I want you here bright and early with all the details."
Hermione grabbed the bottle and sauntered over to the bar. She could see him there, leaning back against a table, showing off those magnificent muscles. Well she could do some showing off too. She swayed back and forth as she slowly walked towards him, uncapping the sunscreen as she moved.
She sat down next to him. "Hey," she said. "I just gotta put some more sunscreen on. Hold this bottle for me will you?"
He gave a tiny smile. "Flirt."
"Me?!?" she exclaimed with extremely wide, doe-eyed innocence.
He snickered, "Yes you. Might as well have a hula skirt on, the way you walk. Looks like your hips are in a blender! Not that I'd mind, personally..."
Hermione blinked and did a doubletake. "Excuse me?"
"You're excused... though I generally do prefer my women shaken not stirred... After all, it's not wise to stir any potion composed of dibenzoylmethanes, testosterone, alcohol, and a liberal sprinkling of extremely potent pheromones."
Hermione Granger fainted.
I'm sure I've copied ideas from every single SS/HG story I've read, so my apologies to any author whose stories I mangled. And of course, JKR owns both characters and Harry Potter and just about everything here.
Dibenzoylmethanes are one class of compounds used in sunscreen.