I just realized that I forgot to stick a disclaimer on these babies. Gar. So, consequently, I'm going to stick one up here now and it'll apply to everything that came before and everything that will come after. So here goes: I don't own the GW boys or other characters, and I'm glad. Have you ever thought about how much it would cost to FEED them?!? Sure, I could borrow money from Quatre, but...
Part Three:
I woke up in a hospital room. The first thing I did was curse and cry out, and when the nurse felt that it was safe to approach me, she gently touched my arm. She was probably afraid I was going to rip off her head or something. That would have been really hard though, since both of my arms were handcuffed to the bed. To my disgust, I was wearing one of those annoying hospital gowns with the tied backs, and the knots were digging into my skin.
"Why am I here? I was supposed to die," I complained, my voice scratched and hoarse. It sounded like crap. I looked at my arms, where I had cut them. Two long scabs were there, and it looked like they were going to scar pretty badly. The nurse looked at me piteously.
"Your friends brought you in. They are waiting out in the lobby, should I bring them in?"
"I don't have any friends," I muttered. "If they were really my friends they would have let me die, not have brought me here." The nurse pulled away from me. She was really scared now. I grinned widely at her, the grin that made me look like a total maniac.
"Sir?" she asked cautiously. I sat straight, my mind beginning to blur.
"Did they tell you who I was? I was a soldier," I hissed to her, grinning even wider. I pulled on my arm. "I was a Gundam pilot. 02. Did they tell you that before they sent you up here?"
My arm was free now, and I grabbed the nurse's wrist. "They did, didn't they? And they told you that I was a bloodthirsty freak, because I piloted a Gundam. Maybe they were right. You hate me, don't you? Just like you hated Heero. You hate us all."
"Sir, my arm... Please, you're hurting me!" She tried to pull away, and I blinked, realizing what I had just done, what I had just said. I felt a wave of self-loathing wash over me. I let her go, and fell back onto the bed.
"Shit... I'm sorry, really," I said, blinking back tears. "I just miss Heero..."
The nurse pursed her lips, massaging her wrist. "Was Heero your friend?"
"He was the best friend in this whole crazy universe. And now he's gone, and I don't know what to do." I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, they ran down my cheeks in swift rivers. The nurse hesitated, then wiped away the wet tears for me. She smiled softly.
"I had a younger brother who died in the war, and a friend," she told me softly. "Sometimes we who were not on the battle field forget that the soldiers have feelings too, and that they too have lost their loved ones."
I blinked up at her. Was it possible that there was someone who didn't hate us, the Gundams, for what we did? For what we were supposed to represent? This pretty little nurse, a blonde with deep gray eyes and pale hands, understood? This girl who had lost her friends, she didn't hate us for what we had done, even if we were the ones who had destroyed her relatives? She was a novelty.
She smiled at me, then walked away. It was a warm feeling inside, to know we were understood. It almost made me feel normal. Almost. The door opened, and the guys walked in.
Wufei was the first to speak. "Maxwell, you baka."
"I know. I stared at the arm I had pulled loose, so that I could avoid my friend's eyes. They were hurt that I had tried to do this. They were hurt that I had even thought about it. I could hear it in Wufei's voice, see it in the way Quatre was standing, the way Trowa wouldn't stop looking around the room, avoiding my eyes as I was avoiding theirs. "I... just wanted to be with Heero again..." my voice trailed off as I choked back tears. I refused to cry in front of them.
Wufei grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at them. I bit my lip and looked him square in the eye. His eyes were teary too....
He sighed. "Maxwell, Yuy was our friend as well, remember." I shifted my gaze away, and Wufei frowned, understanding what I was leaving unsaid. "And killing yourself is no way to rediscover each other."
"They never found his body."
"Huh?" I stared at Trowa. "What did you say?"
Trowa looked up, meeting my eyes. He looked a bit guilty. "They never found his body."
This was news. "What are you talking about?" I asked.
Trowa swallowed. "That last mission. We were all there. Wing Zero plummeted towards Earth, just as the battle ceased. Remember?"
I nodded slowly. "Of course I remember. It's hard to forget something like that." I reached up to my neck and groped for my cross. "I could have saved him."
"I doubt it," Wufei told me. "I don't think any of us could have saved Yuy."
"They found the remains of Zero, but not Heero. The cockpit was burned and had shattered on impact, but Heero was nowhere to be found. He could still be alive."
"So what did they bury in the cemetery?" I asked. This wasn't right, I should have heard it before. A long time before. Why the Hell hadn't Trowa told me?
"An empty casket." Wufei stared at his feet. "I thought the three of us agreed not to inform him, Barton."
So they had all known. I didn't know which hurt more, that my friends had kept me in the dark because they thought they would be helping me, or the ugly feeling of hatred that was growing deep inside of me.
"Which is worse? That one should die for what may not be true, or live for a frail hope?" Trowa asked. Quatre's face was pale, and Trowa hugged the blonde tightly. Wufei frowned, glancing at me again. I fell back onto the bed.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"We didn't want to get your hopes up, my friend. That was our first mistake," Quatre replied, fastening himself to Trowa's neck. "We are sorry." I swallowed hard.
"Heero isn't dead."
Wufei shook his head. "We didn't say that."
"No, you said they didn't find his body. He's the Perfect Soldier, he can't be dead." I started ranting excitedly. "Heero isn't dead."
"This is why we didn't want to tell him, Barton."
"I know." Trowa and Quatre shared a glance, then walked solemnly out of the room. Wufei turned to me.
"Duo, we're going to take you home. But I want you to promise me that you won't try something stupid like trying to kill yourself again, or go searching for a lost cause."
"You just used my first name."
"I know. Friend's do that. Promise me?" Wufei was grim, his eyes cold. But I could see that he really did want me to agree.
"I promise."
~tbc