I don't own the GW boys or other characters, and I'm glad.  Have you ever thought about how much it would cost to FEED them?!?  Sure, I could borrow money from Quatre, but...  Anyways, yaoi, angst, and death, because I like to dabble with death.  And I DON'T believe in happy endings.

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Part Eight:

Heero was exactly the same as I remembered him- same cold blue gaze with just a hint of life in it, same messy brown hair, same tanned skin... It was Heero alright.  His clothes were different, though, which I didn't really care about.  Just a pair of slightly looser jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, which, honestly, I preferred the tank top over.  But I guess it would be too cold for that anyway.  I was hoping the tank top would return when the weather got nicer.  And, if it didn't, I would be sure to take action to make sure it did.

I hate to admit it, but my first thought was how I looked.  Vanity, thy name be Duo.  My mind raced over my outfit, which was still a wrinkled, navy, monstrous mess, and my hair, which was starting to get loose of it's confining braid, and mostly just over if Heero would still like me when I was looking like this.  I knew I had changed quite a bit, even if he hadn't changed anything but his clothes.

I shouldn't have worried.  This was Heero, after all.  My Heero.

And he wasn't doing anything but staring me straight in the eyes, anyway.  I could remember a time not all that long ago when I would have flinched away after only a few seconds of his gaze.  Now I could hold his stare for as long as he wished to inflict it upon me.  Which, I noticed with slight amusement, wasn't long.  Heero looked around my room and focused his glare on the two beds.  Then he growled.  Softly, so that I knew he wasn't really angry or anything.  Just being typical Heero.

"Who's your room mate?"

"An asshole named Lon Yao.  He looks like you.  And he's supposed to marry Relena."  I paused.  "You jerk.  Where were you?"

"It doesn't matter."

I was furious with him by now.  "Yes, it does matter!  It matters to me!  Do you have any idea what you've put us- ME- through?!  I thought you were dead, and then I ended up in the hospital, and then Trowa told me that you weren't really, and they dragged me into this hell hole, and then-"

Heero placed a finger over my mouth.  "You always did talk too much."  He gave me an odd look.  "What were you in the hospital for?"

"I attempted at suicide.  But-"  Heero snorted, and that stopped me right in my tracks. I glared at him. He was smirking.  "What's so funny?" I demanded.

"Out of all of us, you were the one who chose to be suicidal."

I had to admit, I saw the humor in it. Sure, I've tried to self-destruct my fair share of times before, but before Heero's supposed "death", out of all of us, I had been the least suicidal.  Well... except for Quatre and maybe Wufei.  Wufei hadn't tried to blow up Altron before, but then again, he was the one that kept telling people they could go ahead and kill him.  And Quatre had spent most of his early life in depression because he thought he was a test tube child.

"You're changing the subject."

Heero shrugged.  "I suppose I have reasons of my own to do so."

I threw my hands up into the air, annoyed.  "Fine!  It's not like you were anyone special, you were just a guy!  A guy who chose to lead me on with his BS and lies, so now you can leave me alone!"  I was half-hoping that he would pick up on the fact that I was quoting song lyrics.

His only reaction was a raised brow and a single word.  "Duo...?"

I continued.  "You've had your fun, now get out!  I've been hurt too bad for you to be the right one!"  I moved towards the door, to open it so he could leave, I think.  Both my heart and my brain were screaming at me.  I had been so anxious for him to come back, and now I was kicking him out of my room because he wouldn't answer a stupid question?  What in the name of Shinigami was wrong with this picture?

But it really did bother me that he wouldn't answer my question.  I'm not sure why, but just the fact that he wouldn't answer a stupid question like that just really pissed me off.  No reason at all, I guess.  Just the fact that he wouldn't answer one simple request like where he had been all year.

It didn't matter in any case; the second I passed by Heero he locked his arms around my waist and held me still.  I struggled a little bit, mostly for show, because I really did like the feel of his arms around me.  It felt natural to me, like I was meant to be in his arms...

Then, when he threw me onto my bed, I knew that this had to be a dream.  It just had to be.  Heero showing up at my dorm, throwing me onto the bed, leaning over me... his lips covering my own...  If this was a dream, it was a damn good dream.  And I didn't want to wake up from it. It felt too good to be a dream.

Heero lay next to me on my narrow bed, all the while gazing at my face, my eyes, my mouth...  Then he reached out a hand and brushed aside my bangs, leaning over me again, then bending down.  His lips were soft on mine, and that surprised me; I hadn't expected the calloused hands and the soft lips would go together in one neat, tiny package.  I groaned.

He backed away, surprised.  "What?"

The smile on my face reassured him a little, I think, because the startled look in his eyes faded.  "Is this a dream?"

Heero smirked, seemingly knowing exactly what I was thinking.  "Of course not.  Unless we are sharing the dream."

"Mm."  I was silent for a brief second.  "I want to have you inside of me, Heero.  It's been too long of a wait.  Would you do that for me?  Please?"

It was his turn to pause.  He appeared hesitant, then he looked at my eyes.  "Are you sure that's what you want?"

I rolled my eyes.  "No, of course not.  I'm just asking you to see how stupid we both can be.  Duh, Heero."  I sat up and pressed my lips against his, and then passed my tongue over his closed mouth.  He recoiled in surprise, but he quickly realized what I was doing and responded in kind.  It was awhile before we parted again, and, when we did, I rested my cheek against his so that my mouth was by his ear.  He would be able to hear me easy from right there.

"I want you, Heero," I whispered into his ear.  "Don't run away again."  He nodded, and I just couldn't help myself.  I had to do something he wouldn't expect.  So I stuck my tongue out and inserted it inside that warm shell of an ear.  He tensed in his surprise, but every move I made seemed to satisfy- then feed- some strange monster within him.  He pushed me back down into the pillows and blankets of the bed that had been mine for less than a year and closed his eager mouth over my own again.

Well, after a few innocent kisses and nibbles, I was about ready to get into the hard stuff.  I didn't really care if Heero was or not.  I figured he wanted it just as much as I did; he was eager enough.  So I slid my hands up his loose shirt and pulled it off of him, throwing it to the floor.  He looked surprised, but pleased, nonetheless.  Oh yeah, it was obvious.  Heero was wanting this just as much as I was.

It seemed to me that our clothes vanished like magic, though I really doubted that that was the case.  But it didn't matter, anyway.  I had stopped worrying about the stupid school, and about Relena and her stupid fiancé, and even the fact that Trowa thought all my lights weren't on upstairs and that I was about fifty-two cards short of a deck.  It felt really good not to have to worry about anything like that.  All I remember thinking about right then was how good it would feel to finally honestly be with Heero.

I didn't even flinch as he bent towards my lower regions and started to kiss the flesh on the underside of my knees, and my thighs, then up more...  He skipped over the one part of me that really wanted him, though, and started to play around with my navel.  His tongue was darting in and out of that tiny little space, symbolizing, to me, exactly what he planned to do with me.  It was driving me crazy, but it was a nice feeling.

"Heero..."

He looked up at me as I murmured his name.  "What is it, koibito?"  I shivered when he called me that.  His koi.  His love.

I grinned.  "I think I'm going to blow up if you don't get on with this."

Heero smiled at me, just a tiny smile, but it was there.  "You aren't enjoying it?"  If it hadn't for that tiny smile, and the humor and teasing that lay behind his eyes, I would have been afraid I had offended him.  As it was, I just shut my eyes and let my huge grin quiet into a satisfied, coy, little smile.  Heero buried his face in my chest, brushing the little golden cross I was still wearing out of his way, and I could feel the muscles in his face tighten to a smile.  It was easy to tell that he was enjoying this just as much as I was.

But he wasn't done with the teasings.  He seemed to like feeling me writhe and squirm as he taunted every inch of me- except for that one little place that wanted him the most.  Or he was testing my sanity levels.  That thought made me wonder, for a brief second, if he had gone to talk to Trowa before he came over here to me.  The thought vanished almost instantly as he focused his attentions on my hair, which he started unbraiding and combing through with his fingers.  It felt real good, but I had been serious when I had said I was going to explode.  Besides, it aggravated me that he was the one in charge of this situation.  I wanted to be the one performing the teasings and watching him writhe.  I wasn't going to stand for this any longer.

My arms darted out and grabbed him so that they were circling him, my finger nails clawing little grooves into his back.  That didn't seem to bother him, but when my hands clasped together and when I tightened my arms around him, that seemed to perturb him a little.  And when I somehow, in what can only be described as a sudden feat of strength, a miracle, perhaps, flipped him onto his back so that I was no longer the one at mercy, he seemed to be a bit nervous, and a bit pleased.  I had the feeling he had been waiting for me to do something like this.  He knew very well how I hate to be the weak one.  With my hair falling over him like a mahogany curtain, or perhaps an odd blanket, and him straining his muscles beneath me, it was obvious that I had the upper hand right now.

Before he could do anything to transform us back into our previous position, I scooted down, disrupting the sheets and blankets that I had so carefully lain over the bed this morning, and caressed that little place on the under side of his bent knees with my tongue.  His muscles tensed, and he made a little moan, fingers curling slightly, clawing at the bed. 

I grinned.   I had found Heero's first weakness.  I planned on finding all the others he had as well, by careful investigating.  The poor boy, when I was through with him, he would never be the same.  Of course, it was also an odd kind of revenge.  He had, after all, found all sorts of ways to make me buck and moan; I was simply going to find just as many ways to do the same to him.  And it would be a process we would both enjoy, no doubt.

After a few minutes of prodding and searching, I had found enough information to keep me rather contented.  For now, anyway.  I was going to go a step further than Heero had dared to, and I was eager to see how the Perfect Soldier was going to take it.

I gently blew cold air on the tip of his elevated member, and watched, to my satisfaction as Heero gasped low in his throat and shivered.  I smiled, then gently fondled the tip with my tongue, tasting the beads of flavorful moisture that were collecting.

Oh yeah.  This was exactly how I had wanted him to react, me coaxing him slowly, him guiding me along.  Life was going just fine.  Just fine indeed.  And, I thought, moving so that his entire cock was covered by my mouth, maybe I wasn't as loony as Trowa had thought I was.  Were these the actions of a crazy man?  I didn't think so- a person would have to be crazy to pass a moment like this up, not seize it.

Heero came then, with my mouth enveloping his member.  I swallowed as much of the love juice as I could, hoping that he was still stringing together some form of conscious thought.  It had just occurred to me, not five seconds earlier, that we had left the door unlocked, and Lon could walk in to see me acting just as he had suspected earlier.  The pederast with his catamite.  And with his look alike, no less.  It was important that Heero was thinking clearly, if only so that I could get up and lock the door.

But the feeling of Heero's warm body under mine and his strong arms around my back were just so- Wait a second.  Heero's arms around my back?!

Heero repeated my move from earlier, flipping us so that I was the one at mercy, but he didn't require a miracle to move me.  I was light as I ever had been, scrawny and under nourished, while Heero just seemed to gain more muscle poundage everyday.  He smiled at me again, the tiny smile, at my wide-eyed look.

"You didn't think I'd let you take over for very long, did you?" he asked me quietly, his words barely audible, his breath whispering on my sweaty skin.  I shook my head, almost timidly.  If he wanted to be in charge that badly, he could be in charge.  Didn't matter to me, as long as he was there.

And I would take my position as leader again soon enough.  We could have to take turns sharing the leadership thing here, if just to keep us both fully contented.

"Lock the door," I charged him, trying to prop myself up on my elbows to see past him to the clock on the wall.  "We left it unlocked, and it's almost dinner hour.  Q and Trowa and Wu-man will be coming by to get me, and-"

"And they can just deal with it," he told me, shaking his head.  I almost gave in there, his Prussian hued eyes were watching me so nicely...

"Lon- my room mate- and Relena-"

It was the last word, I think, that got him.  "I'll lock the door."  He bent down, kissing my collarbone.  "Stay right as you are."  His fingers trailed down the length of my arms as he moved away, pausing slightly over my twin scars.  I saw a look of utter grief pass over his eyes, but it faded as quickly as it came.  Then he disappeared from my vision, over to the door.  I shut my eyes, already exhausted, and waited.  I could hear his footsteps as he treaded softly over the carpeted floor to the door.  And I waited.  Cold air brushed over my skin as I heard the latch shut and the bolt drawn.  I shivered, and waited for Heero to come back over to me so we could finish our glorious fun. 

I didn't hear him walk back towards me, but I felt his cool fingers on my scars and shivered.  He was stroking them gently with his thumbs, his nails passing over them ever so lightly, and I so very much wanted to look up into his eyes, but I couldn't find the strength to lift my lids.  It seemed as though my little miracles earlier had taken their toll on me already.  And I had been having what seemed to be the longest day of my life, to boot.  Not that I had minded the last few moments of it, surely.  And finding the cat was a stroke of good luck, too.

The cat...

Something in my mind told me I should be concerned about something to do with the cat, but Heero was providing ample distraction.  I couldn't think straight; my scars had been sore before, and now, with Heero's soft touches, I was almost sure that they were going to start bleeding again.  They would never finish scaring if they kept opening up!

Heero kissed my collarbone again, ever so softly, and I continued my struggle to open my eyes, so that I could see him.  He chuckled, and then he moved his hands so that he wasn't touching me anymore.  I think I whimpered, but I'm not quite sure.  That could have just been an overactive, clingy, desperate imagination at work.

"I never meant to hurt you," Heero whispered into my ear.  His breath made tiny whispers on my skin, but, other than that, I had no way of knowing that he was still there.  It scared me a little, but I couldn't snap myself out of this dream like trance I was in.  I couldn't move, I couldn't speak...  I couldn't even twitch my damn toes!  It scared me a hell of a lot.

I'm not sure how long I just lay there, unable to do anything but that, but I know for sure that Heero didn't draw the latch and leave, and he didn't open the balcony doors or anything.  I was straining my hearing, but I couldn't even hear footsteps, or any breathing but my own and a light pitter-patter breathing that was most likely not Heero.  The cat's, maybe.

The next sound, besides that of the breathing, that I heard clearly, was the sound of someone banging on my door, and a worried voice accompanying it.  It reminded me a lot of the sounds Quatre and the others had made, trying to knock down my locked door earlier that year, after the funeral for a man who wasn't dead.  I spent a few moments pondering about the likeliness of deja vü, until I heard someone command another person to get an administrator, or a teacher.  Someone with a key.  It was then that I discovered I could move again.  The first thing I did was look around.  Heero was nowhere in sight, and I was still fully dressed, in the navy monstrosity, no less.  The bulge of my arousal, however, hinted at exactly what my encounter with Heero may have been.  Except that the sheets on the bed were messed up, and the book was on the floor, and the latch on my door was bolted.  And my hair was unbraided.  A bit messy and tangled, but unbraided nonetheless.  And, despite popular belief, I was NOT crazy enough to keep my hair unbraided for any period of time longer to take a shower or something.  It tangled like the dickens, and it hurt to get out the tangles.  I had wised up about that a long time ago, even before I had left L2 as a stowaway, and I always kept it braided.

Had it all been a cruel dream, with a few tricks thrown in to confuse the hell out of me?  Had Lon bolted the door when he left?  Had I thrashed around so much while I slept- something I hardly ever do, to my knowledge- that the book fell to the floor and the bed got messed up?  Had my hair just magically come loose, although the little black tie I restrained it in was nowhere to be found?  God dammit, this was definitely not funny.

And if that was the case, how messed up was I?  I covered my face with my hands.  I had just had a really- REALLY- nice dream with a dead man?  A virtual zombie?  It seemed the only logical explanation; I couldn't have gotten dressed without knowing it, or anything like that.  And there were no telltale stains on the bed, either.  So it must have been just a perverse, whacked out dream from a perverse, whacked out seventeen year-old boy's mind.

The pounding started up again.  And now I could determine the words that the yells were sounding out.  It was Quatre, I was sure of that.  "Duo!!!"

I sighed, trying, unsuccessfully, to calm down every screaming, disappointed nerve in my body.  I had wanted it so much to be real.  I got up to open the door, and Quatre literally fell into the opening, Trowa and Wufei close on his heels.  They looked hilarious, just all piled up on the floor.  It made me giggle.

Wufei looked up at me with a growl, getting to his knees and brushing off his pants- he had redressed in his regular clothes.  They all had, but for me.  "Was that some kind of a joke, Maxwell?  Making us wait out in the hallway, rather concerned, while you sat in here and laughed?"

I shook my head.  "No, not a joke at all, Wu-man.  It's not funny at all."  I paused.  "I guess I fell asleep.  Sorry, you know how heavy a sleeper I am.  Lon was being an ass, and-"

A voice from the hallway made me stop.  "Was I?"

I looked up and rolled my eyes.  That guy just had the worst timing in the world.  I was silent as Lon came in the room, picking up his lap top, and left.  We glared at each other the entire time, neither of us willing to admit that the other was stronger.  The other three, two of which were still on the floor, looking rather pleased with themselves, watched the scene between Lon and I as it unfolded, then examined me carefully as he left.  I can honestly say that I think Wufei was a bit scared of me right then.

Quatre was the first to speak.  "I take it you two don't get along very well."

"You think?"

Trowa got up, then helped Quatre.  "Perhaps."  He gave me a quick once over.  "I never knew your hair was that long."

It was pretty long when it was loose, I knew.  I can sit on my braid, and my hair's even longer when it's not in the confinement.  It was a huge tangle of chestnut rat's nest that went to almost a half foot above my knees.

"Surprise."  I was droning now, but talking about a big tangle of hair that was going to plop me in a bucket full of pain not too long from now wasn't going to whip me into a verbal frenzy.

"What happened to your arms?"

I looked down, not sure what he was talking about.  It took me a moment to realize exactly what it was, in any case.  The navy arms of my jacket were stained with a crimson liquid that looked suspiciously like blood.

I stripped off my jacket and stared at the red stains on the sleeves of my white dress shirt.  I stripped it off quickly, and my cross-glinted in the light of the lamp.  The twin scars along my arms were cut open again, just enough to make it bleed a lot. 

"Holy fucking shit..."  These weren't any ordinary cuts.  These looked like someone had dragged a fingernail up and down my scars until they bled.

My cat made a tiny sound from her place on the bed as I dropped to the ground, sobbing.

~tbc