La Femme Vitani
By Shahn-Ryan Schumacher
Disclaimer: This is a fan fiction using the most beloved characters Disney ever created--those from The Lion King and The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. I used them here without permission with no plans to profit from or take credit for someone else's work, so Disney, DON'T SUE ME!! The same holds true for the La Femme Nikita references which is copyrighted by LFN productions. I TRIED to keep this as clean as possible, but a PG rating would probably be useful here--and now, on to the hootnanny…
Beginnings: Part Three (OR: The Zira Imperative: Part Three)
The only thing I remember about when I first got to Pride One was that I woke up screaming like a banshee. I had been strapped down to a table and a bright white light burned into my eyeballs until I could see funny shapes in the corners of my vision. From somewhere behind me I could hear the creak of a heavy door opening and then closing again. The light that had burned my eyes faded to a lesser brilliance and after a couple minutes I could make out the dark face of a person that was somehow familiar to me. I yawned and my mouth had a weird taste in it. OK, I thought to myself, I've GOT to lay off the beer nuts at those water hole parties. I couldn't think straight and my recent memories were gone, or at least I think they were. I remembered my cubhood, growing up, and coming back to the Pride Lands after Simba lifted our exile, but everything else was just pretty flashes of lavender and green that matched the spots I was seeing.
"Must have been one HELL of a party," I mumbled, "Feels like Rindi spiked the waterhole again." I started to chuckle softly when a familiar voice whispered to me.
"I'm terribly sorry about this treatment, Vitani. Pride One tends to be a bit hard on the new recruits whether they're willing or not. I think I might have kept the leather straps, you know just for fun, but instead of the drugs, I'd have opted for champagne and a dozen long-stemmed roses." My mind was reeling at the thought of this person. I knew him, I was sure of it, but I needed a little something extra to jog my memory; which was off traipsing through a field of daisies. I kind of wished I could have gone along on the trip myself. I felt a paw gently caressing my muzzle and then a kiss, which was firmly planted on my lips.
Oh yeah! THAT did it!
My vision snapped back into focus like the elastic in my bra does when I snag it on one of my claws and that's when I really noticed Camrath for the first time. By the Great Kings, he was a hunk! He had to stand around six-foot-four and he had fur that was the color of chocolate. For reasons unknown to me, I had the sudden urge for a Milky Way bar and a tall cold glass of chocolate milk. His mane was full and luxurious and black as pitch. It flowed down his back and haloed his strong face. Its luster was such that the light in the room just seemed to be sucked into its sheer blackness. I also noticed that his right eye was missing and his remaining eye shone with an amber light like a topaz. I noticed several scars, but they didn't take away from his looks. He had on a black shirt that nicely revealed his bulging chest muscles. I turned my head to keep my eyeballs from flopping out on the floor and my snout came face-to-face with his crotch. I gulped; hard. His jeans were as black as his mane and so tight; they looked like they had been painted on those god-like, muscular thighs. I was sorely wishing, at that point, that I had been the painter. Forgetting for the moment that I was strapped down, I tried to move and got supremely P.O.'ed.
"Hey!" I snapped, "I thought since I volunteered, I was gonna have a bed, not be strapped down like a lab rat!" One section of my mind was pondering what it would have been like to bed down in his fur. Camrath gave one of his disarming smiles, which only served to make me angrier. He just purred at me, "As I said, I'd have used champagne and long-stemmed roses and possibly even have thrown in hot wax for good measure, but that's Op-Paw-Rations for you. He's always going by the charter."
"Who the hell is this Op-Paw-Rations guy?"
"He's the head lion in charge of Pride One. As operatives, we all answer directly to him. Second in command is our chief strategist and psychology expert, Katty-Lyn." I suddenly felt like I was in one of those bad third-rate soap operas where the hero is a former rich-guy-turned-homeless-rogue-and-who-regains-it-all-when-he-saves-the-Pride-Lands-from-the-disease-of-the-week. Camrath undid the straps holding me down and I just glared at him. I don't, even to this day, understand how he tolerated me. I think it's because his libido was like Rindimo's and was twice the size of the Serengeti. Opening the door for me, he led me out into a corridor that was lined with metal. All the walls seemed to be made of metal. We at last arrived at a door that swung back on huge metal hinges and revealed a very sparse room. I immediately didn't like it.
"What happened to my nice warm bed?" I punctuated that phrase with staccato tones.
"Sorry about that. It's standard Pride One issue. But I'll see to it that you get a fluffy pillow and a nice warm blanket." He smirked at me when he said that last bit and I think he intentionally let his chest fur brush against me when he said it. I wanted to wrap myself up in him like a fur throw.
"We'll start your lessons at dawn tomorrow. Good night." Ever the gentleman, he bowed and left me alone with my thoughts. Well, Vitani old girl, it's not much, but it sure beats the Outlands, I thought to myself. I stretched out on the bed they provided and before I knew it, I was fast asleep.
Dawn, The Next Morning--
I woke to the sounds of birds chirping and the smell of wisteria wafting on the breeze. I stretched, yawned and sat up on the chaise lounge I found myself on.
"My, my, my! What a beautiful morning! Wherever is my dear Pelt?" I stopped suddenly, my jaw working, but no sound coming out. Since when in the hell did my voice go from a nice contralto to a high-pitched, whiny drawl? I stopped and looked around. Boy, I thought, these Pride One guys sure keep busy. Pride Rock had really undergone a change. Added to the promontory was a roof that came to a point and four white columns supported it. There was a small sign that read "Terra Plantation." It had one of those storybook singsong voices. I immediately knew something wasn't right.
"Miiiiizzzzzzz Fuuuurrrrleeeetttttt!!" I looked up to see Nala yelling out a window at me, "Young ladies ought not be out after dark in they's bloomers!" I gasped, horrified. Pulling up my skirts, I damn near fainted. Under my pantelettes were a pair of purple and puke green polka-dotted bloomers with a little tag that read, "Piece of the Rock, Size 20." If it EVER got out that I'd worn size twenty bloomers, I'd die.
"Oh, don't worry honey," a strange voice said out of nowhere, "Size twenty bloomers are the least of your worries." I gawped as the sign with the plantation's name on it read my mind. Sitting as dumb as a stump, I babbled like an idiot as the sign kept chatting on.
"At least you have a solid foundation like the house, but it's a pity. Just like the house, your knockers ain't genuine." I stared down at my body horrified as my boobs deflated to the size of cherries and my ass inflated like a hot air balloon. Humiliation doesn't even begin to describe how I felt.
"Ooh! Baby got back, Uh-huh!!" the sign trilled. I grabbed a hatchet that I found lying conveniently nearby and hacked it to pieces; managing in the process to give myself a mohawk. What had started out as an OK day was quickly goin' to the dogs. I started running as fast as my huge ass would allow, screaming, "Pelt! Pelt! Help me, Pelt!"
I kept running wildly and then I saw him in the distance, my knight in shining armor. He rode up on a jet-black steed and I knew it was Pelt before he even removed his helmet. It was his considerable codpiece that gave him away. Stamped on it was "United Steel Workers, Local 109."
"Pelt," I cried, "Help me! My world is a nightmare," as I said this a horse with the word 'NIGHTMARE' painted on its side galloped past, "Nothing about this world makes any sense!" He took off his helmet and I instantly melted into a gooey puddle at his feet; literally.
"Oh, pull yourself together Furlett." I managed to re-solidify as he continued. I couldn't stop thinking how sinfully attractive he was. A red neon sign appeared over his head with an arrow pointing toward him that read 'Sinfully Attractive' while it blinked on and off as though something had been reading my thoughts. I began to panic, certain that I had most definitely lost my mind. A gnome on a bicycle rode past with a galvanized steel bucket full of the ole gray matter and asked, "Hey, Lady! Did you lose this?" That did it. I couldn't take any more! I started bawling my eyes out. I then felt Pelt take me in his strong paws and pull me close and try to comfort me.
"There, there my dear. It's all right. Remember, we'll always have each other. The world may go to hell," when Pelt said that a huge crack opened up in the ground and a gnome posted a sign that read, "HELL this way. One Way Trip $5. Sorry, No substitutions, exchanges or refunds." Pelt continued, "Like I was saying, the world may go to hell, but we'll always have each other. The moon may fall from the sky, the mountains crumble into the sea, Zazu might grow a set of dreadlocks," he was cut off by a Rastafarian version of Zazu telling Simba in no uncertain terms what he could do with the royal scepter. The moon, meanwhile, bought a ticket to hell with a side trip to the nether regions. Pelt went on, "But in spite of all this we'll always have our love. Come, Furlett, kiss me. Kiss me." He bent down to kiss me and I noticed that his fangs were rotting away as I watched. I started screaming…
"AAAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!" I woke up screaming my head off. Whoa, I thought, that was some nightmare. I checked my boobs. Thank heavens they were back to their normal size of thirty-six D and I sighed in relief. I was almost certain that seeing Camrath and myself in a dream as characters from the blockbuster movie "Gone With the Fur" had to mean I was most definitely nuts. I started to settle back in to get some more shut-eye when a bang sounded at my cabin door. I ignored it and rolled over. A few seconds later, there came another loud banging on my door. I stuck my paws in my ears and devised unique tortures never before dreamed of for the hapless git who was gonna get an ear full if they didn't lay off the hammering on the door. For a third time there came a banging on the door.
"GO AWAY!!" I bellowed. I turned over on my belly and buried my head under the pillow. I was just getting ready for the conductor to punch my ticket again aboard the Sleepy Town Express when I heard an even louder 'BANG!' than any of the previous ones. I turned over, ready to ream out the nutball who was keeping me from my obligatory forty winks. I'm sorry folks, but I need no less than eight hours of beauty rest a night. I got up and noticed Camrath standing on the remains of the steel door with his arms crossed over his chest. He had his mane tied back and his chest was bare. All he was wearing was a pair of black sweat pants and a towel draped over his shoulders. My ire lost some of its steam and to hide my embarrassment, I said gruffly, "Whaddya want?" Camrath studied me with his eye and said quietly, "Did you forget we're supposed to start at dawn? Op-Paw-Rations isn't one to tolerate tardiness."
"I don't care if he can't tolerate stripes and polka-dots together," I gruffed, "I have to have my eight hours of sleep. So, goodnight, I've got a one way ticket to La-La Land on the Sleepy Town Express." I gathered up my blanket and flopped back down on my bed.
"Make sure to get the lights on your way out," I said. I hadn't even gotten situated good yet, when I felt a strong paw rip my blanket off and I found myself promptly pinned under Cam's considerable and sexy bulk. His one eye glared at me and I wasn't sure whether or not I was about to get reamed out.
"Um, Camrath," I tried weakly, "I'd love to get up close and personal with you, but I hardly know you." He didn't say anything for a moment. Had I screwed up royally? He then smiled at me and then leaned down and whispered, "If you do what I tell you, you'll get to know me better than you could possibly imagine." His voice had an erotic purr in it that struck a chord in me.
"OK!" I squeaked.
"Come on," he purred, "The gym's waiting for us."
I'm really kinda of the opinion that the Great Kings must have had it out for me from the start. How was I supposed to know that a workout was made up of, well, so much work? I exercised muscles that I hadn't known existed. Cam demonstrated the various types of equipment and after a few minutes told me to give it a go. The first piece of equipment I tried was some sort of souped-up trampoline number. There was a small control panel just to one side with assorted knobs and switches and in the heart of the control panel was a big red button with a sign that read, "DO NOT PUSH."
"The trampoline helps to strengthen your legs and is good for your agility."
"Is that so?"
"Oh yes. Well, I say it is."
"How do you know?"
"I always seem to have a spring in my step after I've used it."
"Ah."
I figured it was simple enough, so I jumped. First I touched my toes. I kept fooling around before deciding to try a couple of flips. I got so carried away that I wasn't watching where I was landing. As I came down, I temporarily lost my balance and must have accidentally hit the big red button. I regained my balance and decided to see how high I could jump and then come down, flip, and land on my hind paws. I took small bouncing steps before I drew my legs up slightly, waited till I stopped sinking into the mat before I used the mat's resilience to propel myself upwards again…this time straight into the ceiling and saw purple and puke-green polka dotted stars.
"Pride Rock," I slurred, "We have a negative on that orbit trajectory." I immediately plummeted back to Earth crash landing into the free weights stand. Camrath rushed over to give me a paw out of the mess. Forgetting how much pain I was in for the moment, I grinned up at him sheepishly and said, "I'm such a dumbbell, huh?" before I passed out at his feet.
Later, after our exercise session, Camrath took me to see Katty-Lynn in her office. Cam said they all called it "The Boudoir." The doors opened by themselves and I walked in. Camrath excused himself and I went to sit on a plush sofa that I saw. Boy, I thought, this Katty-Lynn's got to be one totally with it gal. I just stared open-mouthed at the richness of the room around me. Feeling like I was severely out of place, I sat down on the sofa.
BWWWAAAATTT!!
I was stunned for just a moment before I pulled the offending instrument out from under my rear.
"Oh joy," I huffed, "A whoopee cushion." I was about to toss it when some writing on the opposite side caught my eye: It read, "For when you feel like making whoopee!" I just stared at it for a moment until another woman's voice caused me to jump.
"Well, well, Vitani. It seems like you'll be a big noise here at Pride One." I looked around to see where the noise was coming from and stopped when I saw the desk across the room with a huge high-backed chair sitting behind it. The chair was turned facing a huge fireplace.
"Who are you?" I demanded. The chair turned around slowly to reveal a lioness in a black satin dress with luxurious dark brown hair pulled up in a bun and held in place with chopsticks. She stood and eyed me with a stare that pinned me to the sofa and let me feeling like a side of zebra shank hanging in the window of Ernie's Butcher Shop. She looked hungry and I suspected that zebra steaks weren't the only thing she had on her menu. She sauntered over to me and purred and she stroked my cheek, "They can teach you how to fight, and how to shoot, but you have a weapon that's greater than any weapon of those. You have your femininity."
"Tell me something I don't know."
"All right. Pumbaa's hair isn't real. He got that piece from the Hair Club for Warthogs."
"You know, I'd always wondered about that."
She spent the next hour giving me fashion and beauty tips in the art of seduction and why you should avoid having Oysters Pride-Rockefeller with White Zinfandel at dinners served at state functions. I also was never one for foreign languages, but of the main languages spoken in the Serengeti, I was to be taught two of the more prominent ones, elephant and hornbill. Felinese was the common tongue all the residents spoke, with leonese being what all Simba's pride members spoke--of which I was one. Katty-Lynn told me that I would be meeting with her on a daily basis for the duration as my time as an operative-in-training.
"Um, just how long is the training process?" I asked.
"It's two years," trilled Katty-Lynn.
"Two years!?" I shrieked.
"That's right."
"And when my two years is up?"
"If you prove yourself, depending on your proficiency, you could start as a level two operative. If not, then you'll be composted."
"Composted? You mean I'll be thrown out like trash?"
"Well…"
"Hey, sister! I may be many things, but Pride Lands cave trash isn't one of them."
"Vitani, to be composted or to be recommended for composting means you do leave Pride One, but in a body bag."
"Oh," was all I could manage.
A few minutes later, Camrath returned and said, "Now that you've met Katty-Lynn, I think I'll introduce you to the team that make up the nerve center of Pride One."
"Well, before we meet them, could you explain just one teensy detail that you forgot to include when I got drafted."
"You volunteered, if my memory serves."
"Volunteered, drafted, yeah, yeah, yeah; let's not split furs, OK?"
"Well, what did you want to know?"
"Why didn't you tell me that the only way you get out of this place is if you're A: six feet under; B: in a body bag, or C: lion fodder? Capisce?"
"Oh that. Well, I didn't think I'd bother you with details at the time."
"Well, no, of course not! It's only my life we're talking about!" My anger was beginning to boil over at Camrath. He'd lied to me! Well, he didn't lie, exactly, but he omitted a pretty damned important fact. I started yelling, "That's the last time I allow myself to fall for a tall, dark-maned type! Why, I oughta dent your grill, buster!" He just smiled at me; he was ALWAYS doing that.
"Vitani, you really are very beautiful when you're angry."
"Stick a sock in it, Popeye!"
"Aww, so now she shows her claws. You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear that you were coming into season." I stopped, absolutely purple with rage. How could he have possibly known? I was on the verge of being my most fertile and it took all I had to keep from grabbing the nearest male, regardless of his species. I had always felt the change coming over me and since my teen years, I always became a bitch-on-paws when I came "in season." Poking Camrath in the chest with my paw, I snarled, "Just you wait! After we meet the rest of the gang, You're mine!!" I heard Cam snarl in delight as he followed behind me.
We came into the main area that served as the hub for Pride One. Various others came and went and I assumed they were operatives like Camrath and like I hoped to be. There was a conference table along one wall. To either side were halls that led off to who knew where. We came in from a corridor that led off at an angle. A cluster of computer banks rested at the end of the hall adjacent to the conference table and where the walls formed a parabolic arch. It was here that a small group of folks had gathered looking like rejects from a computer geeks convention. A flash of light caught my eye and I looked up and noticed that over the conference table stood a row of bay type windows. A control console lined the windows and I saw a lone lion dressed to the nines staring down hard at the room. He had a remote in his hand and the second he made eye contact with me, he pressed a button on it and the room he was in went dark--like the room had heavily tinted windows. Camrath had stopped and since I was still looking up at the strange room over the conference table, I plowed straight into his well-muscled back.
"Hey, Vitani, I like 'up-close-and-personal' but now's not really the time. I…OUCH!!" He shut up as at that moment, he seemed to injure himself. I think that my stepping on his tail had a lot to do with it. I said nothing and gave him a huge grin that dripped with fake innocence.
"You little vixen! I ought to," he started before he stopped and just shook his head and grinned at me. Continuing he said, "Here, let me introduce you to the rest of the team that make up the heart of Pride One." I noticed a small female cheetah; a tall slender male cheetah who was really looking better than the law should allow and who reminded me of Rindimo. He had a shock of dark, wavy hair, but I think his most distinguishing features were his sky-blue eyes. Like the lion in the room over the conference table, he was dressed to the nines. Sitting at the desk, fingers flying over the keyboards of various computers was what I thought was a male of a species I'd never seen before. He didn't have any fur, except on his head and glasses propped up on his nose. He didn't so much as flinch; instead kept steadily clattering away at his keyboards.
"Brian," Camrath started. The guy called Brian didn't so much as budge an inch and kept on hammering away at those keys. I was beginning to feel that Simba's gardener had taken to my nerves with his set of hedge clippers as the keys rattled and clicked. Camrath tried again.
"Brian…" Still Brian didn't look up and the rattle of his keys kept up at a lightening pace. Cam looked a little miffed, rolled his one eye, and roared, "BRIAN!!" Brian jumped about three feet straight up and landed in a heap on his backside. Climbing back into his chair, Brian straightened his glasses and glared at Cam.
"All you had to do, was say 'Excuse me,' Gothlion," he growled.
"Gothlion?" I began, whispering to Camrath.
"I'll explain later," he whispered back. He turned back to Brian, "I just wanted to introduce you to our newest operative-in-training. Meet Vitani." Brian stopped and peered at me over the top of his glasses. He blinked, pushed his glasses further up on his nose and looked at me again.
"I'll give her a month," he said with a hint of mischief in his voice.
"Hey!" I started. He looked up at me again and smiled.
"OK, six months." I just gawped at him. He must have sensed my disbelief because he then broke into a wide grin and stuck out what I assumed was his paw. Shaking my paw vigorously he smiled and said, "Welcome to Pride One, Vitani. It's good to have you here. Heaven knows we could use some beauty around this dump." He went back to clattering away on his keyboards.
"Brian monitors the Pride Lands for any terrorist activities and he prepares our mission profiles."
"Nice. Um, Camrath, what…?" my voice trailed off as I wasn't sure how to continue. I guess to Camrath my face looked like the site of a Pride Lands Express train wreck during rush hour with all the confusion I felt.
"He's a human." Oh, so THAT'S what a human looks like. I'd heard stories when I was growing up about humans and now I got to see one close up. Funny thing was, Brian didn't resemble any of the myths that I'd heard about humans being the green-furred, red bug-eyed monsters I'd grown up believing in. A soft "ahem" broke the air.
"Oh Vitani, let me introduce you to two other core members of the Pride One team." He indicated the young female cheetah and the slightly older male cheetah who, to my reckoning, could have passed for Rindi's twin brother.
"Let me present Afriti and Netolu Shadowlin. Afriti here is our resident expert in the art of disguise and Netolu is our Chief of Diplomacy." I looked over to Afriti and noticed that she had two earrings in her right ear, a choker necklace that was heart shaped with the imprint of a paw in it. She was also wearing a bright blue tee shirt with "Cheetahs Rule!" on it and some bell bottom jeans.
"Afriti, is it?"
"That's right."
"Disguise expert?" As soon as I had said that, she whipped out a pair of plastic glasses with a big rubber nose and a fake mustache and put them on. Wiggling her eyebrows at me she said, "Sure thing, toots!" I then looked over to Netolu.
"You're Netolu?" He took my paw in his and he bent over and kissed it.
"Enchante, cherie. It is such a pleasure to have such a vision of beauty among us." I felt myself blush. I cleared my throat and gave him the once over and noticed that he carried what appeared to be a small baseball bat at his side. He looked sinfully attractive in his black slacks, mandarin collar, and Nehru jacket. I stammered over my next words.
"So, uh, you're the guy in charge of diplomacy, huh?"
"That is correct."
"And you carry a baseball bat?"
"I call it my 'kitty-conker'. I keep it on me in the event that diplomacy fails."
"Diplomacy fail? Do you mean to tell me that a seasoned expert like you has known diplomacy to fail?" He smirked slightly and smiled at my naivete, before he whispered, "Have you ever known it NOT to?"
"Good point," I said as I felt myself drowning in the depths of his blue eyes. Camrath cleared his throat and said, "Well, that's everyone except for Timon and Ugumu. Where are those two, by the way?"
"Come now, Camrath. You, of all the operatives here at Pride One, should know that as our Chief of Ordnance, Ugumu can never wait to try out one of his newest contraptions on us."
"That explains Ugumu's whereabouts. What about Timon?"
"I am afraid that Timon is the poor unfortunate sod who was drafted to endure tortures unimagined this time 'round."
"Meaning…" I started.
"That Timon is Ugumu's guinea pig. Poor sod indeed," Camrath finished.
My mind was reeling as I tried to get a mental grip on all the information that had decided to dump itself on my shoulders. I heard a loud crash and looked towards the sound's direction. There was a long hallway on the far side of the conference room from where we were that ended in a pinpoint of light about the size of my foreclaw.
"Well, well, well. It seems the lord and master of the sonic boom and percussion rifles has returned," Netolu piped up. There was another earth-shattering crash, a loud WHOOSH!, and suddenly operatives were scattering helter skelter all over the place. One operative, another lioness, bellowed as she passed, going ninety-to-nothing, "QUICK!! RUN!!" No sooner had she passed than a gray blur zoomed past making one awful howling noise like a bat out of hell. Another blur, a black one, followed right behind it. The two became one and made a god-awful shriek before they collided with the wall with a loud bang.
After a few moments, the dust cleared and I noticed two distinct piles of fur, clothing and a small fire that sat smoldering at the tail of one of the furballs.
"Aaaaooowww…" groaned the black pile. It was this one whose tail was smoldering. I saw him lick two of his claws and put out the small flame. Grumbling like he had a first class speech impediment, he picked himself up off the floor. I tried to keep from boggling as the black panther raised to his full height and dusted himself down. His eyes were an intense green that glittered with an emerald fire. He had on a pair of tight blue jeans (but not as tight as Camrath's black jeans had been) and a black tee shirt over which sat a denim vest. He had a bandana around his head and a long earring hanging from his left ear. It was a feather that appeared to be made of silver. He had what looked to be a tribal turquoise and bone necklace around his neck. His hair was styled so that his bangs hung down in his eyes over the bandana and there was a touch of gray in them.
"Ugumu," Camrath said, "I'd like to introduce you to our newest operative-in-training, Vitani." Ugumu stopped and looked me over; his lip curled in a slight sneer.
"So, she's an operative-in-training, is she?" he gruffed, "Are you sure she's not just another conquest of yours?"
"Ugumu…" Camrath's tone was suddenly low and gruff.
"Don't go there with me, Gothlion. I'm not in the mood. I told Timon over and over not to fire the boosters and he wouldn't listen. So much for my rocket powered rollerblades. Oh well, back to the drawing board. Vitani, welcome aboard. If you guys need me I'll be in ordnance." Ugumu turned and walked away, his black boots echoing off into the distance.
"Come on, Timon. I need to adjust the nitrous oxide mix. We're damned lucky we didn't both go out with a bang."
I assumed the gray ball of fluff on the floor was Timon and who Ugumu was addressing. He had a groggy look around and started singing off-key, thoroughly mutilating the Battle Hymn of the Pride Lands.
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of King Simba in his drawers; he is wasting treasury money on all the pimps and…"
"TIMON!" Camrath bellowed, "That'll be enough."
"That's Timon," I squeaked, "He doesn't look anything like a meerkat!"
"Hey," Timon piped up, "I'm a wolf, not a meerkat! And I'm definitely not THAT meerkat." He stopped and seemed to notice Camrath for the first time.
"Oh, hi there, Camrath. Who's the broad?" By now, I was getting used to being referred to like I was more of an 'it' instead of a 'who'.
"Timon, this is Vitani. She's our newest operative-in-training here at Pride One. Vitani, meet Timon. He's our resident gray wolf who is Chief of Infiltration operations." Timon was just a hair shorter than I was and was kind of built for his size. He was wearing a long, black trench coat and a v-necked tee shirt with a wolf's head logo on it. He was also wearing black leather cargo pants and boots. He resettled his shades on his nose and his head fur was spiked. Reaching down to the floor, he grabbed two pairs of nunchuks and stuffed them into his trench coat.
"So, Timon, you're in charge of infiltration operations? How'd you get that post?" He pulled down his shades, winked at me, made a pistol sign with is paw and clicked his tongue.
"Here, hold these." He handed me his coat and shades and before my eyes, he changed until a wolf pup stood at my feet and jumped up and down and yipped playfully at me. After a couple of seconds, he grew back into and adult, minus his clothes. He grabbed his long bushy tail and promptly covered his exposed mid-section.
"That ALWAYS happens!" he said hurriedly, his face a deep shade of red. He grabbed his trench coat and covered himself with it and scurried out and shouted back, "Vitani, it was great meeting you. I'll see you in training!" I allowed myself a chuckle. So, this was the nerve center of Pride One. I looked over to where Camrath, Afriti, Netolu, and Brian were barely keeping themselves from laughing out loud.
"Um, Camrath?"
"Yes," he purred.
"What exactly are YOU supposed to train me in?" He suddenly produced a sword seemingly from out of thin air.
"I'll teach you swordplay and other forms of paw-to-paw combat."
"And these other guys?"
"Hey!" Afriti piped up, "I'm a girl!"
"They'll all teach you what they know in order to complete your training. By the time we're done with you, well, Pride Lands beware."
"Knowing my current run of luck, I'll end up as kitty compost."
"Come on," Camrath said, "It's been a long day. We'll resume your training tomorrow at dawn."
My first day of training wasn't a total failure, but could have been a hell of a lot better. Camrath introduced me to Op-Paw-Rations, the commander-in-chief of Pride One. He was a really severe guy, who was curt and acted cold, like he had a corncob up his ass. After that, Cam tried to show me how to fight paw-to-paw and how to wield a sword. I succeeded in giving myself a black eye and nearly sliced Cam's tail off. After that, we went over to ordnance where Ugumu apologized for being a jerk and tried to familiarize me with the operative's range of weapons. With the machine gun, I hit everything except the target and with the concealable stuff, I nearly gave Op-Paw-Rations, who'd been observing me, a mohawk when one of the 'Stars of Ahadi' I was learning to use went wild. The 'Stars' were little throwing stars shaped like lion paws with retractable razor sharp claws. In Systems with Brian, I managed to cause a blackout for over an hour and in my session with Netolu, I flunked elementary diplomacy intro when, as my solution to the problem, I leaped over the table and throttled the training dummy. With Afriti, I almost put out my eye while learning various disguises. Mental note here for all the audience--never, and I mean NEVER mix the styles "street walker" and "country bumpkin" like I did. If you do, you'll get a trashy slut with an I.Q. of 3 who talks with a twangy drawl and is missing her two front teeth. While I was with Timon, I got stuck in the training maze while he was giving me insight into the finer points of infiltration. I was glad when the day was at last over. Camrath was escorting me back to my room when I said, "Camrath, I stink."
"Just up your deodorant dose next time," he broke in, "The exercise tends to do that to you."
"No, not that. I mean I totally suck. I'll get composted for sure."
"Vitani, I've seen operatives with less than what you've got and they turned out all right."
"I just don't know if I'm cut out for this. I didn't try to kill Kiara or anyone else and BECAUSE I tried to save her life, I get rewarded by getting drafted into this place. It's all so damned unfair," I sighed and leaned back into the wall, "It's not fair."
"Vitani," Cam purred as he grasped my shoulders, "You'll be all right. You'll see." I absently wiped at a tear that had started to roll down my cheek.
"Yeah, well, I'll show them," I said determined, "I'll train and become the best damned operative Pride One has ever seen."
"Atta girl," Cam said with a smile, "Madam, I salute your determination." That got a smile out of me and I looked down and noticed that something else about Camrath was also saluting me; a very BIG something…
"Um, Cam," I started.
"Yes," he purred seductively.
"Is that your sword in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" He just howled with laughter and said, "It's been a long day for both of us. C'mon, dawn comes early." He led me off down the corridor.
TWO YEARS LATER
"Well, Camrath, how do you think she'll do?"
"She's been undergoing the trials all day, Ugumu. Soon, we'll know if the last two years were worth it or not."
"I'd hate to lose her. She's just what this place needs."
"I agree. Wait a minute; here she comes."
I noticed Ugumu and Camrath talking and the rest of the gang gathered around, all anxiously awaiting the news. I sauntered out in a black sleeveless dress that came to my knees and knee-high boots. My hair was on my head with ringlets down either side. Ugumu took my paws and kissed me on the cheek.
"Hi, there, Sugar," he purred.
"Well?" Cam asked. I said nothing at first, instead, putting on my shades and pushing them up on my nose.
"Well indeed," I said.
"How did you do?" Ugumu asked.
"OK," I said.
"That's it!?" Afriti asked, "Just OK?"
"Just OK."
"There is something that you are not telling us," Netolu added.
"Yeah," I said with a grin pulling at the corners of my mouth, "There is."
"Well, what is it?" Brian shrieked.
"Lady and gentlemen. Allow me to introduce you to the new, improved Vitani. You know, la femme Vitani has a nice ring to it."
"You mean," Afriti started before I cut her off.
"I mean, I'm Vitani; status: Pride One operative, level two." The group erupted in a loud cheer. It must have been too much for poor Timon, because he fainted dead away.
"Look out, Pride Lands," I said with a grin, "Vitani's back in town!"
The End--Part 3