Disclaimer: Kenshin, Kaoru, and the rest all belong to the creators of Rurouni Kenshin—namely, not me. Makes you wonder, grouping all those people under 'the rest.' Think they like that?
Yahiko: Hell no!
Sano: Actually, it makes me feel a bit under-appreciated.
Rurouni Kenshin cast: *stares at Sano*
Sano: Well it does!
Notes: Okay, so the last chapter was rather serious. This next chapter is actually two chapters put together because they were just so darned short that I felt almost guilty creating two separate pages for them. So here they are. Two light-hearted little chapters.
The Path of the Sword
7. I'm not fat
Once again, Kenshin stood in front of the mirror. Fully dressed this time, he eyed his waistline. It had not been immediately noticeable, but as the weeks passed, he had been unable to ignore the bulging of his stomach. He felt heavier and more off balance than ever. The hakama and gi did nothing to hide the weight gain, but the kimono did. Megumi had informed him that it would not take too long before even a kimono would show his growing waistline.
"Che," Kenshin cursed softly, fiddling with his gi. It did very little good, and he managed only to make it wrinkle and bunch up over his chest. "Kaoru!"
A moment later, Kaoru peeked in the room. She smiled when she saw Kenshin examining himself in the mirror.
"What is it, Anata?" she asked lightly.
"I look horrible!" he whined.
"You're beautiful, Kenshin," Kaoru kissed the top of his head lightly, hugging him from behind.
They looked odd like that in the mirror. Kaoru the man, Kenshin the woman, the former taller than the latter, and the petite redhead visibly pregnant. Without his scar, Kenshin looked doubly strange, and Kaoru looked odd with a five o'clock shadow. Absently, Kenshin lifted his hand to brush across Kaoru's rough cheek.
"You need to shave," he announced.
"It's such a pain," Kaoru protested. "You never had to shave."
"Yes, and it was a source of great embarrassment for me throughout my years in the Ishin Shishi," he smiled brightly. "But you look funny with a beard, so go shave."
Kaoru made a face at him in the mirror.
"You know how embarrassing it was to have Sanosuke show me how?" she demanded.
Kenshin smirked and pushed her out of the room. He turned to pick up a kimono, sighing in irritation as he looked at it.
"Oh well," he muttered, undressing awkwardly. Kaoru had finally managed to teach him how to properly wear the kimono and obi. He chuckled as he fumbled to tie the obi in a simple bow. It had only taken six months. Stepping in front of the mirror again, Kenshin sighed. "This is as good as it's going to get."
Actually, in the kimono, he looked fine. With the extra padding removed, he looked the same as always--well, as he had looked for the past six months.
"Careful, Kenshin," he murmured to himself. "You're starting to think of yourself as a woman."
"Oi! Kenshin!" Yahiko's voice was only slightly muffled, coming through the door. "Hurry up! The tofu isn't walking itself here!"
"Hai, hai!" Kenshin shook his head, tying a ribbon in his hair. That was another thing he had weaseled out of Kaoru. Now that he had grown confident enough to go to town regularly, assured he would not be recognized, he had managed to convince Kaoru that it was a good idea.
"One freak incident doesn't mean I'll get attacked every time I go into town!" he had insisted.
Kaoru had been less than keen on the idea, but with some creative arguing, not to mention more than a few frustrated tears, he had gotten his way. It was amazing what crying could get a person.
So now, Kenshin squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, and followed Yahiko out of the dojo.
^_^
The eighth month. Kenshin could no longer hide his growing belly with a heavy kimono. While he was not overly huge for a pregnant woman, he still felt fat whenever he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Kaoru had to help him out of bed each morning, but once he was up, he was usually good for the day. And he ate--a lot.
"I swear, Kenshin," Kaoru laughed when she walked into the kitchen and saw him eating some leftovers from that morning's breakfast. "We're going to run out of food if you keep this up."
"I can't help it!" he smiled sheepishly, not pausing in his eating. "I'm hungry."
"Why don't you stop at the Akabeko while you're out getting the tofu this afternoon?" Kaoru suggested, reaching for a bite of the soup for herself. Kenshin held it out of her reach, shaking his head adamantly.
"Mine," he said, a teasing glimmer in his eyes. "But I will take you up on that offer."
"Selfish," Kaoru muttered, kissing his cheek affectionately.
That was another thing they had yet to get used to. Neither Kaoru nor Kenshin felt comfortable with overt displays of affection while they were like this. And they had certainly never considered having sexual relations. Kenshin had put both of their thoughts into a few short words when he had said, "I wouldn't know what to do." So they kept it to a peck on the cheek--a light kiss on the lips at the most.
Kenshin nodded contentedly, mouth filled with food. Kaoru laughed at him and shook her head, backing off.
"I've got to go to the Akabeko," she announced. "Got to keep working to pay for your eating habits."
"Megumi-dono says it's perfectly normal for me to eat this much," Kenshin replied hotly, his face flushing in embarrassment.
"Sure, Kenshin," Kaoru waved. "When you have that baby and are still forty pounds overweight, then tell me it's normal."
She ducked out the door, just in time to avoid the tofu pail that hit the wall near where she had been standing. Retreating quickly, she could hear the sound of Kenshin cursing up a storm behind her.
"I will not be @#%$!ing FAT!"
Then, she was safely on the other side of the gate.
8. The nose of a wolf
No one would ever mistake Kenshin for an overweight woman. For one, he was slender everywhere but for his stomach. Pregnant women just have a bearing about them that screams 'I have a baby here,' and Kenshin was no exception.
Yahiko ran ahead in the busy street, too energetic to wait for Kenshin, who walked at a much slower rate behind him. Kenshin was not about to try to keep up. He would end up flat on his face if he ever tried that. So he trailed along behind Yahiko, wincing a bit as the baby kicked him. The unborn child was ruthless. Kenshin rested a hand on the front of his stomach, willing the baby to settle down inside of him.
"Oi, Kouri-san!" it was amazing how easily Yahiko picked up that name. Of course, as the boy had been the one to come up with the name, it made sense. "You're slower than usual today."
Kenshin smiled tolerantly down at Yahiko. At least someone was still shorter than him. Nevermind that Yahiko was fifteen years his junior.
"You try carrying an extra twenty-five pounds around in your stomach for awhile and see how quickly you can move," he replied easily.
Yahiko shook his head, grinning deviously.
"No thank you!" he laughed. "That's what girls are for."
"Don't let any woman hear you say that," Kenshin rolled his eyes. "And at the moment, I feel a bit insulted by that."
"Sorry," Yahiko ducked his head sheepishly. "Sometimes I forget... you know?"
Kenshin sighed and nodded. It figured that the boy would so quickly adapt to him being a woman. Of course, he did have almost nine months to get used to it.
"I know," he grumbled. He waved the boy off, indicating that he could run ahead again. "We're almost to the Akabeko. Go ahead and tell them we're on our way and that I'm starved."
Yahiko snickered and quickly disappeared into the crowd. Kenshin shook his head, smiling in amusement, and braced his hand in the small of his back as he paused to rest. Some people jostled against him, grumbling about his abrupt halt. Seeing the pregnant woman, however, convinced most of them to keep their mouths shut. A few of the less courteous men and women shot him dirty looks and kept walking. Kenshin ignored their irritation and took a moment to convince himself to keep walking.
It was actually Yahiko's shout that persuaded him to move again. Kenshin waved to the boy, acknowledging him and letting Yahiko know that he was okay. But as the boy drew nearer, Kenshin noticed the panic in his eyes. Then, Yahiko was momentarily forgotten as someone bumped into him roughly from behind.
Gasping in alarm, Kenshin stumbled forward, trying without success to keep himself from falling. An arm slipped around him, bracing across his bulging stomach. Kenshin looked up, startled that anyone other than Sanosuke was strong enough to catch him so easily. Without the pregnancy, he was fairly light weight, and he would not have been so surprised, but at the moment he weighed quite a bit more than usual. And this person had caught him with only one arm.
"Oh god," the soft words escaped him before he could stop them. Kenshin found himself staring up into the harsh countenance of none other than Saitou Hajime, aka Fujita Goro. Saitou's expression was an odd one--mixed concern and irritation.
"You should watch where you stop, Okaasan." Trust Saitou to make it sound like it was no fault of his own. Kenshin frowned uneasily.
"Excuse me... officer," he choked out. "I was careless."
"Oi!" Yahiko appeared then. "Leave Kouri-san alone!"
Saitou gave Yahiko a glance filled with disdain. He released Kenshin, only after making sure the 'woman' was steady on her feet.
"You know this woman, gaki-chan?"
Yahiko would not give Saitou the satisfaction of responding with his usual irritation over the 'chan' comment. He boldly stepped in front of Kenshin, placing himself between Saitou and the petite redhead. Kenshin blinked in surprise, still a bit anxious about Saitou's presence.
"We don't need your help," Yahiko growled.
"Yahiko-kun," Kenshin murmured uneasily. "Let's just get going."
"Just watch where you're going next time," Saitou muttered. "No one wants to be blamed for knocking down a pregnant woman."
So much for good intentions. Kenshin and Yahiko glared after him with matching expressions of distaste. When the tall officer had melted into the crowd, both of them breathed sighs of relief.
"That was close," Yahiko grumbled. "I was trying to warn you!"
"I doubt I could have moved out of the way in time if you had," Kenshin smiled shakily. "I'm surprised, though. Of all people, I would have thought Saitou would give me a second glance."
"You're not that good looking," Yahiko laughed.
"You know that's not what I meant, Yahiko," Kenshin blushed furiously, continuing toward the Akabeko. "And that was not funny."
Yahiko continued to snigger.
"Sure, Kouri. Sure," he snorted. "Do you think Saitou even likes women like that?"
"Yahiko!" Kenshin gasped, startled at the boy's bold words. "Saitou has a wife!"
"You're kidding!" Yahiko made a show of looking ill and gagging. "Gross."
Kenshin did laugh then. After all, he agreed. He could not imagine any woman finding Saitou attractive--in looks or personality.
"Shame on you, Yahiko," he scolded uselessly.
"Shame on yourself!" Yahiko grinned. "You think so too!"
"That's besides the point," Kenshin protested, still smiling.
"Whatever," Yahiko ran ahead. "We're almost there, Kouri-san! Maybe they'll finish cooking our lunch by the time you get across the street."
"Very funny, Yahiko-chan," Kenshin said hotly. "My pace is just fine."
"Waddle a little slower, why don't you?"
"I'm not a duck!"
"You walk like one!"
"Why you little-"
Yahiko laughed and slipped into the Akabeko. Muttering under his breath, Kenshin forced himself to walk a little faster. He would have to resist this overwhelming desire to throttle the kid.
Okaasan—I'm probably using the entirely incorrect translation of this word, but in effect, Saitou calls Kenshin 'mother.' It sounds stupid in English, so I used this word instead.
Gaki—brat. We all know the chan thing.
Notes: Okay, so this was just meant to be a little insightful, but more for fun, kind of chapter. And next comes the one we've all been waiting for… Kenshin goes to the mall. I'm kidding! Chapter nine: The miracle of birth.