Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. There. It has been disclaimed.
Notes: This fic was so much fun to write, and now that I am posting the last chapters, I am sad. Now it'll just fade away with the rest of the works that are not updated until it becomes a lonely little fic on page 13. *Sigh* Oh well.
Enishi: Let me say, I looked at that picture and was not sure whether I should burst out laughing or be appalled. I settled for laughing hysterically and calling my friend and making her look at the picture. I will admit that it is not exactly the way I pictured them in my mind, but I commend you on your artistic abilities and creativity. That marvelous picture is now taking up 234 KB on my computer desktop. I love it. Thank you for sharing that with us.
You all make me feel so special. There are only two more installments. Here's the first half of the end of my fic. *Goes off to weep*
And now, the moment we've all been waiting for!
The Path of the Sword
9. The miracle of birth
His feet hurt, his back ached, he had to use the bathroom every half hour, he was still hungry, and his mood changed with the minute. Kenshin was more than ready to be back to normal.
"I look like a red-haired cow!" he complained, pacing very slowly in the kitchen, a bowl of miso in hand. "Did anyone ever think that there was a reason men don't carry the children?"
"Anata," Kaoru followed Kenshin around the kitchen, giving Sanosuke a helpless glance. "You don't look like a cow."
"He does have a point about the baby-carrying bit," Sanosuke offered.
Kaoru shot him a dirty look.
"You're not helping, Sanosuke," she growled.
"It's the truth," Sanosuke retorted.
"You're supposed to help Kenshin feel better, not fuel his anger!" Kaoru shot back.
"Well, you're not doing a whole lot, are you?" he snapped.
"How can I when you keep saying stupid things to contradict everything I say?!"
"Well, excuse me for not knowing what your every thought is..."
Kenshin watched them argue, on the verge of crying himself. He wondered briefly what they would do if he burst into tears right then. But he did not have the chance to ponder that question for more than a few seconds.
"You irritating freeloader-"
"Pushy... girly man!"
"Why you-"
"Ano... guys?"
"If you weren't so-
"-damned bossy-"
"Kaoru? Sano?"
"I'll kick your-"
"Like you could!"
"Kaoru-koi-ahhhhh!"
Kaoru and Sanosuke cut off at Kenshin's sudden exclamation. They both reached out when his legs folded beneath him, and he dropped abruptly. Kenshin's face was twisted into an expression of pain as he clutched at Kaoru's gi desperately.
"Something is happening," he gasped.
"Is it the baby?" Sanosuke blurted.
"Of course it's the baby, you idiot!" Kaoru snapped. "Megumi-san had said it's only a matter of days before it ca-"
Kenshin interrupted her with a loud groan, dropping again.
"Go get Megumi-san!"
"Right!"
Sanosuke ran out the door while Kaoru helped Kenshin remain on his feet. After a few minutes, Kenshin relaxed, panting with relief.
"It stopped," he murmured, obviously happy about that fact.
"Let's get you to the room," Kaoru suggested.
"I think this yukata is ruined," Kenshin sighed, flushing in mild embarrassment.
"Why?"
"Didn't Megumi-dono say something about the water breaking being a sure sign of beginning labor?" Kenshin muttered.
Kaoru turned very red.
"Oh."
"I need to lay down," Kenshin pointed out.
"Oh!" Kaoru all but dragged him into their room. Kenshin stumbled after her, amused and a little frightened. The pain had been unexpected and very unpleasant. He was certain he never wanted to feel that again.
^_^
Kenshin's agonized scream could be heard throughout the neighborhood. Not to mention the rather colorful explicatives that joined it.
"God @$#%&! it!" Kenshin was not a happy rurouni. He would have gladly continued being pregnant for another nine months if it meant he could avoid actually giving birth.
"Megumi-san!" Kaoru's shouts joined Kenshin's. "Do something!"
Megumi sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Relax, Kaoru," she ordered. "You're no help at all to Ken-san if you're panicking."
As she spoke she adjusted a large cushion behind Kenshin's head and adjusted the blanket over him. He relaxed abruptly, panting loudly. Megumi took advantage of the break to talk to him, snapping her fingers in front of his eyes to gain his attention. Kenshin's eyes flew open, and he focused on the fingers briefly before looking past them to Megumi. He looked as unhappy as a person could get, mouth hanging open in attempt to draw in more oxygen.
"We've got another fifteen or twenty minutes before you go into another contraction, Ken-san," she explained quickly. "Rest while you have the chance."
He nodded, a quick, jerking movement. Closing his eyes again, he tried to relax, still feeling the remnants of the last contraction. Megumi smiled. She loved being present during a birth.
"I want you to bend your knees and put your feet flat on the floor, Ken-san," she ordered, pushing his legs up as she spoke.
Kenshin cooperated for the most part, only protesting when she made a move to push his knees apart. He uttered a startled yelp and rose onto his elbows, alarm and embarrassment clear in his eyes.
"What are you doing?!" he demanded.
"The baby won't come out if you keep your legs clenched together like that, Ken-san," Megumi said gently. She glanced at Kaoru. "Where are those towels?"
"Yahiko's getting them."
"And Sanosuke?"
"Helping boil the water."
"Hey!" Kenshin did not appreciate being dismissed so readily. He glared at them with overt irritation. "What am I supposed to do? Just sit here with my legs spread for the world to see?"
Kaoru blushed, and Megumi laughed.
"That's what the blanket is for, Ken-san," she explained. "Until you're ready to start pushing, no one will be looking at anything."
"Wait a minute!" Kenshin reached up and struggled against her hands, still trying to push his knees apart. "What do you mean by that?!"
"Someone has to catch the baby, Ken-san," Megumi said patiently. "For now, there's still a blanket covering you. By the time the baby is ready to come, you probably won't much care."
"Maybe not, but I care now!" he protested.
"Kenshin, just let Megumi-san do her job," Kaoru pleaded, pushing against his shoulders in attempt to get him to lay down again. Kenshin fell back against the gentle nudging, still fighting the hands pushing his legs apart. "She's done this before. She knows what she's doing."
"Perhaps so," Kenshin glared at Megumi in warning. "But the blanket stays where it is until I'm damn good and ready for it to move."
"Of course, Ken-san," Megumi smiled mildly.
He finally relented, relaxing enough to let Megumi nudge his legs apart. Kaoru sighed with relief and sat back down next to Kenshin's head. She took a handkerchief and tenderly dabbed at his forehead, swiping away some of the sweat that had already gathered there. Two hours had already passed, and in that time, there had only had three contractions. Megumi had already explained that the shorter the time between contractions, the closer the time was for the baby to come.
Kenshin's breathing started to become labored and loud again. Kaoru winced at his hand squeezing down on hers brutally, but she kept stroking the hair away from his face. Megumi leaned forward.
"Keep breathing, Ken-san," she suggested. "Deep breaths..."
"Deep... breaths... hell!" Kenshin gasped, grinding his teeth together against the pain. "Just how... much longer... is... this going... to take-" he cut off in a strangled cry of agony.
"At this rate, you should be having the baby sometime tonight," she said gently.
"TONIGHT?!" Megumi had made the mistake of getting within arm's reach. She found herself with a fistful of her apron in Kenshin's steel grip. He gave her a crazed, pained glare. "That is hours away!"
"Kenshin, let go of Megumi-san!" Kaoru pried at his fingers.
"I'll let her go when she tells me I can get this baby out of me now-owowowow!" he released Megumi's apron abruptly, collapsing back onto the futon.
"Breathe, Ken-san," Megumi urged.
"I'm @#%$ing breathing!"
Kaoru sighed and glanced at her hand. She wondered if she would be able to use that again when Kenshin finally released it.
^_^
Night fell, and Sanosuke and Yahiko brought out the candles. Kaoru and Megumi remained hovering over Kenshin, who was dozing while he had the chance. The contractions were growing longer and more frequent, and Megumi told them that it would not be much longer.
"Does labor usually last this long?" Kaoru asked anxiously.
"It depends on the woman," Megumi shrugged, glancing at Sanosuke. "Go heat some more water."
"Right!" Sanosuke left the room.
Yahiko sat restlessly nearby.
"Will Kenshin be okay?" he asked uneasily. "I mean... he's in so much pain..."
Megumi smiled warmly and nodded.
"Labor can be a painful experience," she acknowledged. "But it's worth it in the end. Ken-san is strong. He should be just fine."
"Oh," Yahiko looked at Kenshin again. The man... woman... looked as exhausted as he likely felt. Red hair clung to Kenshin's face, dark and wet with sweat. It was as vulnerable as Yahiko had ever seen the rurouni. "Good."
Kenshin woke with a pained gasp, and the cycle began again.
^_^
It was after midnight when Megumi announced that the time was drawing near. Kenshin was ecstatic.
"Just get it out!" he sobbed, tears joining the sweat on his face.
"Try to relax, Ken-san," Megumi waved Sanosuke over and took the hot water from him. Yahiko handed her the towels, and she waved them away.
"I've got a kid the size of Yahiko trying to force its way through a space smaller than my mouth, and you want me to relax?!"
"The baby's not really as big as me, is it?"
"No, Yahiko," Megumi muttered. "It's not. Ken-san, after the next contraction I want you to push."
Kenshin gave her a panicked look, still panting heavily.
"Push what?"
"That baby, Ken-san, the baby!" Megumi burst out in exasperation.
"How the hell am I supposed to do that?!" Kenshin ground out through clenched teeth. "It's inside of me!"
"Oh, for god's sake-!" Megumi looked at Kaoru, who just shrugged helplessly. "Am I the only woman in here who knows what that means?!"
"Don't look at me or Yahiko," Sanosuke waved his hands quickly. "Jou-chan's a guy now too."
"God @#%$ you! Just tell me what to do!" Kenshin roared.
"Gaaah! Listen!" Megumi spat. "Contractions are your body's way of pushing the baby out of the womb. But once it starts moving free of the uterus, you have to do the rest of the work. So you have to contract your own muscles-"
"MEGUMI!" Kenshin glared at her murderously. "A little faster!"
"Just do whatever feels like you're making the baby move!"
With an agonized shout, Kenshin pushed. Megumi reached for the blanket.
"I'm moving the blanket now, Ken-san," she told him over his shouts.
"I don't CARE!" he reached out blindly and caught Kaoru's ponytail. Yanking on it brutally, he shouted again. "Reach in there and pull it out if you have to!"
Kaoru joined in Kenshin's shouts, thrown partly over Kenshin's chest, his hand entangled in her hair. Sanosuke and Yahiko jumped forward to help pry Kenshin's fingers out of her hair, only for him to release it on his own to shove them away.
"GET OUT OF MY FACE!"
"I never knew Kenshin could get so loud," Sanosuke grumbled, rubbing his sore bottom from when he'd landed. Yahiko nodded his agreement.
"Push, Ken-san!" Megumi insisted.
Spitting out a variety of interesting and rather inappropriate words, a few of which even Sanosuke did not think he had known, Kenshin pushed again. He fell back, gasping for air. Whimpering desperately, he knew it was not yet over.
"I can see the head, Ken-san," Megumi encouraged.
"Is it a girl or a boy?" Yahiko asked.
"It's just a head, dummy," Kaoru snapped. "We don't know."
Yahiko blushed and griped under his breath. Nobody noticed, though, because Kenshin was screaming again, leaning forward slightly to push. Megumi shouted encouragements, and he just hollered curses back at her.
"One more time!" Megumi insisted. "You're almost done!"
With a loud roar, Kenshin pushed for all he was worth. The pain decreased to a fraction of what it had been, and he collapsed back with a sob of relief. And then he heard the sound he had been waiting for: the wail of a newborn child. Kenshin's eyelids fluttered open again, and he struggled to sit up, rising on his elbows.
Kaoru was hovering over Megumi, tears in her eyes as the doctor wrapped the child in a clean blanket, wiping some of the dampness off its face. She looked up with a broad smile.
"Congratulations, Ken-san," she said tearfully. "You have a beautiful baby boy."
"A boy..." Kenshin nodded dazedly, dropping back onto the futon wearily. "Good, good..."
He fell asleep.
Notes: Well, Kenshin was rather… pushy here. It can be excused under the circumstances, right? Okay, so all that crud about contractions and the timing. I don't know much more than the basics of child birth. Sure, I know the basic mechanics and such, but the details are just things I made up. I apologize for being too lazy to do the research. I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter anyway. Next chapters: 10 & 11—Return to beginning/ Epilogue.