― Chapter II "Departure For The Havens" ―
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, its characters, or its places. Also, I don't own the song "A Thousand Miles". But, I do own this story and the ideas, and also Gwathlöme, even though he is Arwen's in this story, he is originally mine.
Author's Note: Concerning Arwen's horse. It is a he, he is completely white in colour, just like my horse, Zara. Can you picture him? I hope you can!
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Making my way downtown,
Walking fast,
Faces pass and I'm homebound.
Staring blankly ahead,
Just making my way,
Making a way through the crowd.
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The night breeze blew softly on my face as I tried to picture Rivendell in my mind. Tonight will be the last time I sleep in Rivendell, because tommorow I will be leaving for the Grey Havens. This was the time I have been waiting forward to since mother sailed over the sea. But now that I have come to it, I don't think it means that much to me anymore. Is it because of him?
I sighed to my own lack of common sense. I know I loved him with all my heart, and I know I will give up my immortality for him, and I also know that I will give up the Grey Havens, just to be with him. But what a fool I have been to let him go, by just saying that I cannot give up the Grey Havens.
I have never regretted anything I did or said before that faithful night. Never, not even once. Yet, I bewailed over what I said that night, for letting him go.
No, I didn't let him go. I left myself. Yes, I left.
Warm tears slid down my face. Why should it be so warm, when what I feel inside is draftiness? Why can't it just be frozen? I closed my eyes, wringing the tears off them. I took a deep breath and sighed, before going back to my bed to slumber.
Somehow I know that this evening is going to be a long night of crying and lamenting what wrongs I did. The night to alter the things that happened in the past. And I thought about many things that night. But I didn't remember anything about the dream I had years ago. Not even slightly.
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And I…need you
And I…miss you
And now I wonder…
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I knocked softly on the richly carved door before entering the room. The room was neatly kept, except for the bed, where a she-elf lay fast asleep. I strolled to position myself beside the bed to wake my daughter up. I put my hand on top of hers, as her starry eyes fluttered open.
As soon as she realised that I was the one waking her up, she swiftly sat on her bed politely. I chuckled inside as I noticed her messed up hair and swollen eyes. It is not everyday I could come to her room to meet her personally, since I have so many other things to do. But for this last day, I want her to know that I care for her. For this last day.
" A…ada, why are you here?", she stuttered. It is funny to see that a maiden who is three millenias old can stutter like a little girl. I chuckled inside.
" I came here to wake you up, dear. Since you did not show up on breakfast.", I answered calmly. I looked at her face closely as bits of tears are still visible, and her eyes were tired and mournful. It seems that she had been crying herself to sleep.
" What is it that you cried over?", I asked her symphateticaly. She looked down on her lap and took some time to think over what to say. I did not want her to cry again, but I just have the urge to know what made her cry over the night. Is it the fact that she is going to leave Rivendell or is it because she will not be with her brothers for quite a time ? But, I do not think the second option is right, since she often stayed behind in here when her brothers went away.
" I…it is nothing. Why do you ask?", She said, trying to hid the truth from me.
" I know that you have been crying over something. Is it because you're leaving?"
" Yes, it is…It is because I am going to leave Middle-Earth and…and all its inhabitants. I will miss this place, so…uhm…well, I cried over it."
" Well, but you will be able to see your mother once we arrived in Aman. And you should be going down for breakfast in a moment. I shall meet you there." I said before heading for the door.
" W…Wait!", She cried. " When are we leaving?" added she.
" Right after you had your breakfast, we will head west to Amon Sûl.*"
" Can we wait until after lunch? Please?" She pleaded.
" As you wish." I answered, not wanting to see her sorrowful face. She had never been truly happy since her mother's departure, and I do not want to make her more grievous than this. It is already more than adequate.
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If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time, will pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk A Thousand Miles
If I could just see you…tonight
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As my father closed the door, I got off my luxurious bed, and took a tunic dress I prepared for today. It is a simple blue robe with silver leaves as the girdle. I braided my hair for the journey, and looked at myself in the mirror, as I realised that there are bits of tears on my face and there are dark circlets under my eyes. I quickly walked to the bathroom and washed my face, so that it would not look so somber.
It had been such a terrible night for me that I do not even want to remember. Well, it may not be that terrible, because of the happy memories I had when my mother was still there when I need her. And it shall not be so anymore, because I am going to meet my mother at last. Even if…even if it meant losing my true love.
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It's always times like these,
When I think of you,
And I wonder if you ever think of me.
'Cause everything's so wrong,
And I don't belong
Living in your precious memory
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Elladan and Elrohir had told me that Elrond is going to leave this morning, and to my own stupidity, I had just reached Lorién after Galadriel left three days ago to Rivendell. I quickly got on my horse, and forced him into a gallop. I did not mean to be so cruel to my horse, but I really need time, and it is now slipping away from me. So, my weary and heavy-eyed horse galloped as fast as he could to Rivendell which is about a four days away of riding non-stop. Fortunately, the elves from Rivendell would not gallop, as they might walk just slowly, taking in the beauty of Middle-Earth before leaving it.
I know that I don't have to catch them, since Arwen turned me down so many years ago. But, in my heart I just knew that she didn't mean to. Maybe she has something to say about that, and for that reason, I need to see her, even if when I reach her she would turn me down again. And, if she really didn't like me that time, then at least I could see her face for the last time. Yes, see her face for the last time, that is a better reason for this.
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'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder…
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Riding slowly on Gwathlöme* through the woods of Trollshaws, I often looked back to the east, where Rivendell lay. I do not know what actually I am looking for, but something urged me to stop and wait for it. Yet I cannot make the whole group stop just because I felt the need to. I sighed deeply as I continued riding with the others.
I'm going to miss Middle-Earth, I really will. I'm going to miss Rivendell, Lothlorien, and Mirkwood. I'm going to miss Legolas, Celeborn, and Elladan, Elrohir. But I guess I can bear that. Still, I couldn't leave Estel, I know that he probably hates me now, but I just couldn't help wanting to meet him again. Even for once.
Unconsciously, I stopped on my tracks and sank deep in thought. I didn't notice that the others had stopped too, wanting to know what is wrong with me. Against my will, a tear slid down my face, and I started weeping. Everything started to blur out, and then I don't remember anything else. It was dark. Dark and frigid…
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If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time will pass me by?
Oh, 'Cause you know I'd walk A Thousand Miles,
If I could just see you…tonight
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When I woke up, I realised that everyone was around me, looking down. As I didn't remember what happened, I just blinked twice, trying to clear the image.
" What happened?" I asked. Now that it is clear, I noticed that everyone is looking at me with concerns in their eyes.
" You wept, and suddenly you fainted and fell from your horse." Galadriel answered. " It was about four hours ago, and it is evening now. We shall camp here for the night." She added in her wise and calm voice, that nobody else except her, has.
" You ought to go to sleep again, Arwen. You seemed to be really tired that you fainted." Celeborn adviced.
" Yes. Thank you for being so concerned about me." I said to both of them.
" You do not have to be that formal. After all, you are our granddaughter." Celeborn said, smiling. I just smiled and laid down on my cot, before I knew that a minute has passed, I was in a deep slumber.
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And I…I don't wanna let you know,
I…I drown in your memory
I…I don't wanna let this go
I…I don't.
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I kept on riding through the night even though I would have to trot slowly and lit a torch. I will do anything if it meant I could see her again. Just when I thought I saw some lights in the forest, I realised that it was a clearing. I slowed down to a walk, and stopped just besides the clearing to camp. It is not that I want to camp, but my horse somehow needs its rest after walking for some hours.
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Making my way downtown,
Walking fast,
Faces pass and I'm homebound.
Staring blankly ahead.
Just making my way.
Making a way through the crowd.
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After walking for two days and one night, we finally reached Amon Sûl. But, we are not going to camp here, as it was still so light, so we decided to ride for some more hours until we reached Chetwood, near Bree. We are not going to go to Bree, because it is just not our custom to stop at an inn.
Elrohir once told me about an inn in Bree called "The Prancing Pony". He told me that it was the best inn in Bree, and Mr. Butterburr, its owner, is a good man, even though he has some problems with his memory. I would like to go to "The Prancing Pony". Even if I couldn't spend a night there, I would love to see men, and how they live. I had been interested about men, and when Elladan said that most rangers are men, I asked my father if I could be a ranger. And, he told me that being a ranger is not as easy as that, and it is also dangerous. So, I did not become a ranger.
After walking slowly for half an hour, Elrond, who lead the company, started galloping slowly, so all the others galloped too. And then, he got faster and faster. I just followed the others, as I do not want to be left behind. I looked back for a few moments, before urging my horse to go faster.
Before the sun set beyond the horizon, we reached Chetwood. I was going to ask Elrond if I could just get near enough to Bree so that I can see what people inside are doing. But, as I think it over, Elrond would not allow me. So I pushed the yearning deep inside my heart.
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And I still…need you
And I still…miss you
And now I wonder…
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I could not believe how fast time had passed as we already reached the Grey Havens, or as my people say, Mithlond. I got down from Gwathlöme, and unpacked the bundle I put on him, as the other elves did the same thing too. Except for my father, as he was walking to a big house near the shore where, I think, Cirdan the shipwright lives.
As I finished unpacking my load, I strolled over to Bilbo's pony, as he seemed to have troubles unpacking. As soon as he saw me, he gave way, so that I may unpack it for him. There was silence between us except for the sound of waves, and the other elves' chattering. After I finished unpacking his load, I turned back to my own horse, to carry my load to the ship.
" Lady Arwen, are you going to depart over the sea to Aman with us?" he asked, breaking the silence. I turned back, and sighed as I know where he is getting at.
" Yes, I am." I answered.
" What about Dúnadan? Are you going to just leave him behind?" He asked me with doubts and disbelief in his eyes.
" I promised my mother that I will go to the West where she lays. I cannot break my promise only to be with a mere mortal man. Even if he is Aragorn son of Arathorn, Isildur's heir." I answered before turning back to load my packs to the ship.
" But he is not only a mere man to you, I see." I heard Bilbo whispered after I already turned and walked away from him. I pretended not to hear him, as that saying is the truth which I cannot run away from.
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If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time will pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk A Thousand Miles
If I could just see you…
Oh…Oh…
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I was so tired after galloping as fast as I could for days, but I must not say that my horse is not tired, as he had been the one who actually galloped. I finally reached the Grey Havens, but when I thought I made it, I realised that I failed. The ship has left the port, but my spirit has not gone down yet. I hushed my horse to gallop to the port, so that at least I may see her perfect figure.
Reaching the port, I realised that the ship she will be one hasn't left the port yet, as I saw Bilbo talking to some elves. I got down from my horse and started walking through the port, looking for my love. Just then, a whistle blew, and I looked back, as Elrond, Galadriel, and Celeborn was waving on the upper dock, to a ship that had just started to sail away. Quickly I ran to the ship. As a ranger, I ran quite fast, but to me it is not fast enough, because as every second passed, the ship will get further away from the port, and when it got too far, I would not be able to see her face.
After reaching the right angle, I tried to wave at her so that she might see me though the crowds. I hadn't found where she is beyond the crowd, and she spotted me first, just before I spotted her. Years passed, but her face was still fairer than ever, but now I can see the trail of sorrow on her face, as she tried to ignore me and waved to her father on the dock.
Just then, I thought I saw a soft and heartbreaking smile on her face before she started waving to the crowd, but inside I know that she was waving at me. I always knew. Or is it only because I regarded my own self too high? Why would the Evenstar of the elves waved at a mortal man mixed between her fair and wise people? Is it because she loves me?
I just hope that she does. She does love me.
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If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time will pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk A Thousand Miles
If I could just see you…
If I could just hold you…tonight.
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Author's Note: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! IT'S FINISHED !!! This chapter is the longest one out of the three!!! Anyway, thank you again for reading and reviewing my story, even if I am an amateur. And, if my grammar is bad, please forgive me, I'm not a native speaker, you see? Well, you can't see me. BWAHAHAHAHHA !!! I'm kinda crazy, cause I'm left too long with my computer. Do you want me to continue or should I just stop here? Well, I promised you that I will continue, so those guys who wanted me to stop will taste my revenge because they tried to stop me posting fics!!!!! ohh…whatever Uhm, thank you whatsoever! J
This one is; 3017 near the end, after thranduil is attacked, and after Gandalf read the scroll of Isildur.
* Amon Sûl is Weathertop (Elvish name for it). Amon means hill, Sûl means wind. So, it is the "Hill of the Wind". From The Silmarillion's appendix.
PS: Elrond, didn't go to Aman now, they'll go later, 'cause Elrond has that Council of Elrond thingie to do, before sailing to the west. In case you didn't realise, they waved farewell at Arwen, because he's not leaving with her.
PPS: The verses that I slipped between the stories are Copyright of Vanessa Carlton, it is a song by her titled "A Thousand Miles", do listen to it. In my opinion, it's a good song to listen to while reading this chapter.
POVs: Arwen-Elrond-Arwen-Aragorn-Arwen-Arwen-Aragorn-Arwen-Arwen-Aragorn. Phiuh, this one's kind of long.
Review Replies:
Nimbrethil Thinduial: As you can see up there, I still put idiot notes on POVs, but I did not mean to offend you by this. I thought about your comment, and I think your are quite right. So, I decided to put POVs on chapters in which have more than two different POVs, but for the others, I will not put the notes on, thank you for the suggestion! And, as for your other critics, I did not mean to just ignore them like that when you already took your time typing it. I WILL edit the second and first chapter when I have the time for it, and I will try my best to make the elves sound as formal as I could make them in the next chapters! I am still looking for a willing beta-reader, and I haven't found one, but if I kept on looking for one while you guys are waiting for the next chapter, it would not be fair, so I think I will just post this one, and continue on looking for a beta-reader for the next chapter. Thank you so much for reviewing! J
Havens!: I just knew that, when I read the last chapter of RotK, thank you for reminding me! I will correct the 2nd chapter once I have the time! Thank you so much for reviewing! J
: Yeah, I just realised that, sorry for the mis-used word! I am not a native, and I agree to people who said that my vocabulary is not so good, but I'm working on it! Once again, sorry! Thank you so much for reviewing J
For everyone: I thank you so…………………..much for reviewing me, as it means so much for me! I am a beginner in writing, you see? So, I need critics, and comments so that I could improve, and you guys gave me all that! THANK YOU………………..!!!!!!!!!!! And again, smiley faces for everybody! J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J
Trailer for the next chapter…
" Aragorn, I want you to escort four hobbits to Rivendell, meet them in Bree."
" Hobbits, Gandalf? From the Shire?"
" Yes, hobbits, they will need your help. And remember, one of them bears the ring, you should be careful."
" I know, men are weak aren't they?"
" And you should treat them as children. Because they are actually children."
" Yes, Gandalf."
Next Chapter: "The Naïve Ring-Bearer"