A/N: Sorry for such the long wait, but I was so busy with school and finals, I didn't even have time to read any of my fave fics! But I have more free time now, and I'm going to have more chapters out faster to all my fics. Promise! I decided to break chapter 6 up into two parts because…well if I don't, I probably won't get this chapter out until next month. So here's 6a. I'll try to get the rest out tomorrow or Sunday ok? And Thanks to those who have been reviewing!
Chapter 6a: Mixed Emotions
She was beautiful. But even the word could not describe her or the feelings welling deep inside of him. She was too utterly perfect, so angelic and heavenly, more words that did not do her any justice. No words in any language in the world could even describe those eyes of hers. She was just…indescribable, any words he might have used to describe her would have been futile, seeing, as he had already stated. She was indescribable. For the past hour he had been watching her as she sat across the street, reading a book as a cup of coffee sat beside her on the park bench, long since forgotten. Her chestnut colored hair had been pulled away from her face back into a ponytail. Dressed simply in a pair of old jeans and a semi-large black shirt; she was all the more appealing to him.
Though, he admitted, she wasn't the type of girl he usually went after. No he was usually more into the tall, leggy blondes with an oversized chest who would give him what he wanted, and he only wanted one thing. But she was different than any past conquests. He didn't want to use her, no, instead he found himself quite attracted to her, not only physically, but also emotionally.
That in itself was reason enough for one Sean Williams as he continued to stare across at the angel sitting in the sun, oblivious to the beauty of nature around her, but even more so of the breathtaking view she made, sitting innocently reading and so unaware.
This had been the scene had stumbled upon after exiting the small coffee shop with a nice hot cup of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. He had scene a flash of brown and had looked up, only to be surprised by the sight in front of him. Sean hadn't expected to see that charming girl he had met at the airport to be sitting there, just yards away from him. Liz Parker. That's what she had introduced herself as. It was plain yet so utterly right just like its bearer. Since he had met her at the airport, she had been his mind's constant companion, and it unnerved him to some degree. She was like an obsession, a drug of sorts. He had only been in her company for no more than half an hour, and yet it seemed…that he couldn't get enough of her. She was the sweetest drug he had ever tasted, and he wanted more.
Again, Sean stopped, finding his thoughts rather disturbing. Really, he wasn't a stalker, never obsessed this much over one girl. No, as he said before, he was a player, one of the best in the league, and yet this girl, without knowing it, this slip of a woman had somehow managed to turn him into a blubbering mass of a man who could only stare from afar and never get the courage to walk up and speak to her. Liz Parker stripped him of his usual confidence, leaving only a man who was more than willing to do her every bidding, just so that he could be near her, beside her, share in her light.
Love at first sight? Something he had also never thought much of. In fact, he never thought much of love, let alone love at first sight. Yet, yet it seemed that it was possible. The only thing now was to see if she could or would ever return his already growing feelings. First things first, he had to gather up the courage to get up, walk across the street, and talk to her, but it seems he can't even do that so he just sat and gazed.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Where do you think you're going young lady?" Her father's voice filtered through her thoughts and the apartment door. Sighing, Liz opened the door and called into the living room where her family excluding Michael who had an errand to run, were sitting.
"I'm going to go for a walk dad, get reacquainted with Roswell." She replied, which of course was the truth, except she also needed to think some things through.
"Alright sweetie, be home by six." Her mother's voice replied, "Have a nice time."
"I will, bye!" Liz called as she closed the apartment door behind her and raced down the stairs, through the back door, through the alley, and into the streets, sighing. She clutched her knapsack tighter as she looked around her, wondering where she should go first. Shrugging, Liz decided to let her feet take her to her destination as she allowed her mind to wander.
A week. A week since she had returned. Nothing had really happened in that week, yet so much had. After she had left the Evans's that day with Michael, they had headed straight to her aunt's where they had a nice family dinner. The next day, she had spent with her mom, dad, and Michael, just reminiscing and catching up on their life. They told her about what had been going on while she was gone, the changes to the Crashdown, how they had added new security equipment. She told them about her stay in Florida, about her new friends and school.
None of them ever thought to bring up her suicide attempt, or if they did, then they hadn't dared to, fearful about opening up old wounds. But that was something they didn't know about her. How could they reopen old wounds that hadn't even healed completely? But then again, she couldn't tell her family that. Then surprise, surprise. Her father had decided to keep the Crashdown closed for another week just so they could have some family bonding time. They then drove up to Albuquerque to attend a fair, and had stayed there for about five days. Honestly, that had been the most fun she had had in such a long time. In fact, it was the first time she had even remembered really laughing since… The thought trailed off as a tear slipped down her face, and her hand instinctively reached for the medallion she had always worn since the day he had given it to her.
Thinking of him brought guilt rushing through her being as she fought to keep the tears at bay. Stop! Her mind commanded he wouldn't want her to feel guilty about anything. He would want her to concentrate on living her life not to dwell on the past. Liz paused and wiped her eyes. Yes, there were many things she had never told anyone, not even Michael. They were her own secrets, which could and does hurt her so much. Secrets like how her heart, had at one time, not only belonged to Max, but also to another. As she said before, it was something she rather not think about at the moment, so her mind wandered back to her reunion with Max.
Awkward could not even begin to describe the moment in fact she didn't even feel that. The moment had been too brief, and when they had gotten a second chance to converse, she had blown that chance also by spacing out. Since then, they never had the opportunity to talk since she had been away with her family, and later she learned, he had been off with his family too. Besides Max and Isabel, she had not seen any of their old gang. From Michael, she learned that the Valentis had gone off to Colorado for a ski vacation, and Tess had tagged along. The first thought that came to mind was, a ski vacation? In summer?! Of course it wasn't such an odd idea, but Michael had told her that Amy Valenti had decided that she didn't want to sweat her butt off in the Roswellian heat, and had demanded to go to Colorado where she could freeze her butt off while skiing. Alex was off with his family, visiting Sweden where they were staying with the Whitman's old friends, Karl and Jenna Owens, and their daughter Liana.
I wonder if they've changed that much? So far no one had mentioned any of her changes, but then again, the physical changes were somewhat hidden beneath her old attire she had adopted once more upon her return to Roswell, and the emotional and mental changes? Well, let's just say that she was very good at hiding emotional problems. But back to the question at hand. Had they changed? And if they did, would they still like her? Would she still like them? Of course I will. Liz thought, laughing at herself for the absurd thought. I'm just being paranoid.
But then again, Liz's mind wandered back to her 'reunion' with Isabel, the girl she considered the sister she had always wanted. The two of them had always understood one another so well, ever since the moment of their birth, it was as if they had been destined to be friends, if not soul sisters. Sure they were different as night and day. Isabel being tall, leggy, and blonde with a fashion sense that matched her natural beauty, she was Miss Popularity, while Liz herself was short, brunette, and petite in every way, her style was always comfort. She was the tomboy who didn't like attention and had very few friends outside her usual group. But when it all came down to what really mattered, the two shared almost everything else, secrets, feelings, and what was inside of them. That had been the key factor of their friendship.
However, their bond had severed over the past year, and it was just another thing to add to her list of regrets. She didn't think that they could ever regain their strong bond or friendship again, how could they when there had been no happiness in Isabel's eyes? How could they when she couldn't even feel the connection between them?
Liz shook her head, trying to rid herself of such unpleasant thoughts, and once she had succeeded, her mind immediately latched onto thoughts even more unwelcome as it always had been, thoughts of Isabel always brought thoughts of Max. Not that the thought of Max was unwelcoming, just the thoughts of what had happened, things she had buried so long ago, painful thoughts that were threatening to resurface along with feelings she had vowed never to think of again. Feelings that were beginning to worm their way out of the depths of her heart, coming back even stronger than before. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how hard she tried to suppress them, the fact was she couldn't.
She was falling again.
The thought alone thrilled and terrified her at the same time. The thrill of losing herself in the game they called love rivaled the fear of rejection and what she would do if she was rejected again.
Ugh. Liz thought to herself, all these emotions and concepts cluttering around in her mind was exhausting. A scream brought her out of her thoughts as she found herself in the park, watching a dark haired little boy chasing a brunette little girl. In her mind's eye, she saw the little boy catch the little girl, grabbing onto her until they both stumbled to the ground, laughing and giggling as they kept their arms around each other. And in her mind, she could see the warm amber eyes laughing down at her while she giggled. The memory brought her to the tiring thoughts she tried not to think of, and she wished with all her heart that things could just go back to the way they were. Before her heart had betrayed her.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Max…
The way she said his name intoxicated him. The hitch in her breath as she sighed a breathy sigh, his name tumbling out of her luscious pouty lips. Kissable lips.
Max..
It was the same dream. She would be calling out to him in her soft sensuous voice. But he never saw who 'she' was. Her face was surrounded by darkness, so he could never distinguish any features at all.
Max.
All he knew was that…she was the one. How did he know? It was the way her voice soothed his aching heart, the way the mere presence of her made his soul complete, it was the way he loved her, despite the fact that he did not know who 'her' was. That wasn't important, as long as 'she' was with him, he would be happy, at peace.
Max! Get up!
He startled, her voice was always soft, and she never raised her voice, let alone say anything but his name.
Max!
He blinked in surprise when the shadows seemed to part a bit, and her eyes came into view…
"MAX!" Max awoke with a start and found himself looking into the very impatient eyes of one, Isabel Evans. Groggily, he took his eyes from her face and looked over towards his alarm clock and saw that it was two o'clock in the afternoon. Yawning, Max stretched, ignoring Isabel, much to her annoyance. They had just gotten back last night from visiting their relatives in Maine, and he was dead tired. Therefore, he thought with annoyance, Isabel can wait until I wake up to complain about whatever she wants to complain about. He was a little mad about the fact that she had interrupted his dream, especially this dream. That was the first time his dreamgirl had been revealed, and even though it was only her eyes he saw, it was enough for him, but now that he was awake, rudely awoken, he couldn't remember them, just the fact that they seemed oddly familiar. Had they been blue? Or maybe brown?
"Max!" Isabel, once again brought him from his reverie.
"What is it Isabel?" Max grounded out in annoyance.
"You're supposed to be over at the Parkers, remember?"
Max stopped mid-yawn, "Shit!"
He had almost forgotten, and with that he began to rush around his room, trying to find something clean to wear. Finally giving up, Max ran into the bathroom for a quick shower.
Isabel shook her head, and went over to his closet, sometimes Max didn't have any fashion sense whatsoever. She pulled out a pair of dark jeans, and a black button up shirt and laid it on his bed for him. She slipped quietly out of the room, and into her own. Sighing she laid herself down on her bed, grasping her favorite teddy bear to her chest. It was worn and old, with a missing nose, but the word, 'sister' could be seen across the chest. It had come as part of a set; Liz had gotten it for her, and had kept the bear with the word, 'soul' on it.
They were only five when they had first agreed to keep the bears forever. She and Liz had just agreed that older brothers were stupid and icky, and had demanded their parents to let Liz stay with her, and to send Max over to Michael, but their parents had refused gently, saying that they would miss their child too much. Isabel had cried for days, as had Liz. However, one day Liz had come over excitedly with a present that her mom had helped her pick out. It had been two bears, holding hands, with matching bows, and the words "soul sister" on their respective chest. Liz told Isabel her mom had given to her about the words. It meant that even though they weren't sisters by blood, they were sisters by heart. Liz had named hers, IzzyBear, while Isabel had named hers LizzieBear. Their brothers had caught onto the names, and had started calling them so.
Isabel teared up at the memory, but stopped herself before the tears spilled over, not allowing herself to feel anything. A soft voice interrupted her musings, "When are you going to forgive her?"
Looking up, she saw Max, wearing the clothes she had lain out for him with a concern look in his eyes. She choked on a sob as she felt his arms go around her. Her voice came out as a mere whisper, "I don't know."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
tbc…
Next up, Max and the others have a surprise for Liz. Sean and Liz interaction. Max's feelings toward the change in Liz. See ya next time kiddos!
Chapter 6a: Mixed Emotions
She was beautiful. But even the word could not describe her or the feelings welling deep inside of him. She was too utterly perfect, so angelic and heavenly, more words that did not do her any justice. No words in any language in the world could even describe those eyes of hers. She was just…indescribable, any words he might have used to describe her would have been futile, seeing, as he had already stated. She was indescribable. For the past hour he had been watching her as she sat across the street, reading a book as a cup of coffee sat beside her on the park bench, long since forgotten. Her chestnut colored hair had been pulled away from her face back into a ponytail. Dressed simply in a pair of old jeans and a semi-large black shirt; she was all the more appealing to him.
Though, he admitted, she wasn't the type of girl he usually went after. No he was usually more into the tall, leggy blondes with an oversized chest who would give him what he wanted, and he only wanted one thing. But she was different than any past conquests. He didn't want to use her, no, instead he found himself quite attracted to her, not only physically, but also emotionally.
That in itself was reason enough for one Sean Williams as he continued to stare across at the angel sitting in the sun, oblivious to the beauty of nature around her, but even more so of the breathtaking view she made, sitting innocently reading and so unaware.
This had been the scene had stumbled upon after exiting the small coffee shop with a nice hot cup of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. He had scene a flash of brown and had looked up, only to be surprised by the sight in front of him. Sean hadn't expected to see that charming girl he had met at the airport to be sitting there, just yards away from him. Liz Parker. That's what she had introduced herself as. It was plain yet so utterly right just like its bearer. Since he had met her at the airport, she had been his mind's constant companion, and it unnerved him to some degree. She was like an obsession, a drug of sorts. He had only been in her company for no more than half an hour, and yet it seemed…that he couldn't get enough of her. She was the sweetest drug he had ever tasted, and he wanted more.
Again, Sean stopped, finding his thoughts rather disturbing. Really, he wasn't a stalker, never obsessed this much over one girl. No, as he said before, he was a player, one of the best in the league, and yet this girl, without knowing it, this slip of a woman had somehow managed to turn him into a blubbering mass of a man who could only stare from afar and never get the courage to walk up and speak to her. Liz Parker stripped him of his usual confidence, leaving only a man who was more than willing to do her every bidding, just so that he could be near her, beside her, share in her light.
Love at first sight? Something he had also never thought much of. In fact, he never thought much of love, let alone love at first sight. Yet, yet it seemed that it was possible. The only thing now was to see if she could or would ever return his already growing feelings. First things first, he had to gather up the courage to get up, walk across the street, and talk to her, but it seems he can't even do that so he just sat and gazed.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Where do you think you're going young lady?" Her father's voice filtered through her thoughts and the apartment door. Sighing, Liz opened the door and called into the living room where her family excluding Michael who had an errand to run, were sitting.
"I'm going to go for a walk dad, get reacquainted with Roswell." She replied, which of course was the truth, except she also needed to think some things through.
"Alright sweetie, be home by six." Her mother's voice replied, "Have a nice time."
"I will, bye!" Liz called as she closed the apartment door behind her and raced down the stairs, through the back door, through the alley, and into the streets, sighing. She clutched her knapsack tighter as she looked around her, wondering where she should go first. Shrugging, Liz decided to let her feet take her to her destination as she allowed her mind to wander.
A week. A week since she had returned. Nothing had really happened in that week, yet so much had. After she had left the Evans's that day with Michael, they had headed straight to her aunt's where they had a nice family dinner. The next day, she had spent with her mom, dad, and Michael, just reminiscing and catching up on their life. They told her about what had been going on while she was gone, the changes to the Crashdown, how they had added new security equipment. She told them about her stay in Florida, about her new friends and school.
None of them ever thought to bring up her suicide attempt, or if they did, then they hadn't dared to, fearful about opening up old wounds. But that was something they didn't know about her. How could they reopen old wounds that hadn't even healed completely? But then again, she couldn't tell her family that. Then surprise, surprise. Her father had decided to keep the Crashdown closed for another week just so they could have some family bonding time. They then drove up to Albuquerque to attend a fair, and had stayed there for about five days. Honestly, that had been the most fun she had had in such a long time. In fact, it was the first time she had even remembered really laughing since… The thought trailed off as a tear slipped down her face, and her hand instinctively reached for the medallion she had always worn since the day he had given it to her.
Thinking of him brought guilt rushing through her being as she fought to keep the tears at bay. Stop! Her mind commanded he wouldn't want her to feel guilty about anything. He would want her to concentrate on living her life not to dwell on the past. Liz paused and wiped her eyes. Yes, there were many things she had never told anyone, not even Michael. They were her own secrets, which could and does hurt her so much. Secrets like how her heart, had at one time, not only belonged to Max, but also to another. As she said before, it was something she rather not think about at the moment, so her mind wandered back to her reunion with Max.
Awkward could not even begin to describe the moment in fact she didn't even feel that. The moment had been too brief, and when they had gotten a second chance to converse, she had blown that chance also by spacing out. Since then, they never had the opportunity to talk since she had been away with her family, and later she learned, he had been off with his family too. Besides Max and Isabel, she had not seen any of their old gang. From Michael, she learned that the Valentis had gone off to Colorado for a ski vacation, and Tess had tagged along. The first thought that came to mind was, a ski vacation? In summer?! Of course it wasn't such an odd idea, but Michael had told her that Amy Valenti had decided that she didn't want to sweat her butt off in the Roswellian heat, and had demanded to go to Colorado where she could freeze her butt off while skiing. Alex was off with his family, visiting Sweden where they were staying with the Whitman's old friends, Karl and Jenna Owens, and their daughter Liana.
I wonder if they've changed that much? So far no one had mentioned any of her changes, but then again, the physical changes were somewhat hidden beneath her old attire she had adopted once more upon her return to Roswell, and the emotional and mental changes? Well, let's just say that she was very good at hiding emotional problems. But back to the question at hand. Had they changed? And if they did, would they still like her? Would she still like them? Of course I will. Liz thought, laughing at herself for the absurd thought. I'm just being paranoid.
But then again, Liz's mind wandered back to her 'reunion' with Isabel, the girl she considered the sister she had always wanted. The two of them had always understood one another so well, ever since the moment of their birth, it was as if they had been destined to be friends, if not soul sisters. Sure they were different as night and day. Isabel being tall, leggy, and blonde with a fashion sense that matched her natural beauty, she was Miss Popularity, while Liz herself was short, brunette, and petite in every way, her style was always comfort. She was the tomboy who didn't like attention and had very few friends outside her usual group. But when it all came down to what really mattered, the two shared almost everything else, secrets, feelings, and what was inside of them. That had been the key factor of their friendship.
However, their bond had severed over the past year, and it was just another thing to add to her list of regrets. She didn't think that they could ever regain their strong bond or friendship again, how could they when there had been no happiness in Isabel's eyes? How could they when she couldn't even feel the connection between them?
Liz shook her head, trying to rid herself of such unpleasant thoughts, and once she had succeeded, her mind immediately latched onto thoughts even more unwelcome as it always had been, thoughts of Isabel always brought thoughts of Max. Not that the thought of Max was unwelcoming, just the thoughts of what had happened, things she had buried so long ago, painful thoughts that were threatening to resurface along with feelings she had vowed never to think of again. Feelings that were beginning to worm their way out of the depths of her heart, coming back even stronger than before. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how hard she tried to suppress them, the fact was she couldn't.
She was falling again.
The thought alone thrilled and terrified her at the same time. The thrill of losing herself in the game they called love rivaled the fear of rejection and what she would do if she was rejected again.
Ugh. Liz thought to herself, all these emotions and concepts cluttering around in her mind was exhausting. A scream brought her out of her thoughts as she found herself in the park, watching a dark haired little boy chasing a brunette little girl. In her mind's eye, she saw the little boy catch the little girl, grabbing onto her until they both stumbled to the ground, laughing and giggling as they kept their arms around each other. And in her mind, she could see the warm amber eyes laughing down at her while she giggled. The memory brought her to the tiring thoughts she tried not to think of, and she wished with all her heart that things could just go back to the way they were. Before her heart had betrayed her.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Max…
The way she said his name intoxicated him. The hitch in her breath as she sighed a breathy sigh, his name tumbling out of her luscious pouty lips. Kissable lips.
Max..
It was the same dream. She would be calling out to him in her soft sensuous voice. But he never saw who 'she' was. Her face was surrounded by darkness, so he could never distinguish any features at all.
Max.
All he knew was that…she was the one. How did he know? It was the way her voice soothed his aching heart, the way the mere presence of her made his soul complete, it was the way he loved her, despite the fact that he did not know who 'her' was. That wasn't important, as long as 'she' was with him, he would be happy, at peace.
Max! Get up!
He startled, her voice was always soft, and she never raised her voice, let alone say anything but his name.
Max!
He blinked in surprise when the shadows seemed to part a bit, and her eyes came into view…
"MAX!" Max awoke with a start and found himself looking into the very impatient eyes of one, Isabel Evans. Groggily, he took his eyes from her face and looked over towards his alarm clock and saw that it was two o'clock in the afternoon. Yawning, Max stretched, ignoring Isabel, much to her annoyance. They had just gotten back last night from visiting their relatives in Maine, and he was dead tired. Therefore, he thought with annoyance, Isabel can wait until I wake up to complain about whatever she wants to complain about. He was a little mad about the fact that she had interrupted his dream, especially this dream. That was the first time his dreamgirl had been revealed, and even though it was only her eyes he saw, it was enough for him, but now that he was awake, rudely awoken, he couldn't remember them, just the fact that they seemed oddly familiar. Had they been blue? Or maybe brown?
"Max!" Isabel, once again brought him from his reverie.
"What is it Isabel?" Max grounded out in annoyance.
"You're supposed to be over at the Parkers, remember?"
Max stopped mid-yawn, "Shit!"
He had almost forgotten, and with that he began to rush around his room, trying to find something clean to wear. Finally giving up, Max ran into the bathroom for a quick shower.
Isabel shook her head, and went over to his closet, sometimes Max didn't have any fashion sense whatsoever. She pulled out a pair of dark jeans, and a black button up shirt and laid it on his bed for him. She slipped quietly out of the room, and into her own. Sighing she laid herself down on her bed, grasping her favorite teddy bear to her chest. It was worn and old, with a missing nose, but the word, 'sister' could be seen across the chest. It had come as part of a set; Liz had gotten it for her, and had kept the bear with the word, 'soul' on it.
They were only five when they had first agreed to keep the bears forever. She and Liz had just agreed that older brothers were stupid and icky, and had demanded their parents to let Liz stay with her, and to send Max over to Michael, but their parents had refused gently, saying that they would miss their child too much. Isabel had cried for days, as had Liz. However, one day Liz had come over excitedly with a present that her mom had helped her pick out. It had been two bears, holding hands, with matching bows, and the words "soul sister" on their respective chest. Liz told Isabel her mom had given to her about the words. It meant that even though they weren't sisters by blood, they were sisters by heart. Liz had named hers, IzzyBear, while Isabel had named hers LizzieBear. Their brothers had caught onto the names, and had started calling them so.
Isabel teared up at the memory, but stopped herself before the tears spilled over, not allowing herself to feel anything. A soft voice interrupted her musings, "When are you going to forgive her?"
Looking up, she saw Max, wearing the clothes she had lain out for him with a concern look in his eyes. She choked on a sob as she felt his arms go around her. Her voice came out as a mere whisper, "I don't know."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
tbc…
Next up, Max and the others have a surprise for Liz. Sean and Liz interaction. Max's feelings toward the change in Liz. See ya next time kiddos!