Chapter 6b: These Feelings Inside of Me
It was mid-afternoon; the sun was ever shining brightly, and here he was, sitting in the exact same spot he had been sitting in for the past few hours, barely moving, just staring blatantly. Anyone who passed by could see who he was staring at and had seen the look in his eyes, everyone but the one person he wanted to understand. He had only moved when the waitress came by to refill his cup of coffee, and only then he merely glanced at her. Before turning back to look at his beauty, not caring if the world thought him to be some sort of crazy stalker. The only person's opinion that mattered was sitting right across from him, oblivious to the world as she sat, reading. Three times already, he had worked up the courage to go over and talk to her, but chickened out at the last minute.
Man, if his friends could see him now, intimidated by extremely small girl, who was at least a head shorter than him, they would have…well…laughed. But he realized, it wouldn't have mattered what they thought, what anyone thought of him, as long as…as long as he was able to see her, to be in her presence, then he knew everything would be ok.
Sean laughed at himself; he sounded so cornball, and he was sure that a year ago, he would have laughed at himself for thinking these things. But that was before he met Liz, in their brief encounter, she had awoken something in him; she made him want to change. To be someone different, someone who mattered…someone who mattered to her. Looking over again, he saw that she had stopped reading, and was now smiling down at a little boy whose ball she had caught. Taking a deep breath, Sean got up and walked over to her, hoping that this time, he wouldn't run away.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Maxwell, you're twenty minutes late." Michael complained as he hopped over the side of the Jeep, into his the front seat. "Any longer and this thing would probably have melted."
"I know, I know. I just couldn't get myself out of bed," Max replied, distracted as he looked at the road ahead of him. Michael's eyes widened considerably, "Damn man, already? How long have you been back now? Twelve hours? You do work fast."
Max looked over at Michael, confusion masking his face as if saying, 'huh?'
Michael only looked amused as a smirk crossed his lips, "Who was it this time? Please don't tell me it was Pam Troy, that girl is a like a garbage can, overused and dirty."
Max nearly swerved off the road, but caught himself, "What? No!"
"Good, good. Now tell me Max, who was it? I'm not getting any, you know I live through your sex life." Michael kidded as he looked around at the familiar surroundings. His statement however caused Max to smile. "And whose fault was that? No one told you to fall for Ria."
"Hey, who can blame me? She's feisty and actually has a mind, unlike those girls I used to do. And God, that body, the way her hair smells like rosemary, and those eyes…and hey!" Michael stopped midway through his little version of Maria babble, "I haven't fallen for dogbreath! She's annoying and loud, and talks way too much. Plus she calls me Spaceboy I mean come on, I can't even understand half of the things coming out of her mouth, and what's with sniffing all those oils? You'd think that she would…"
Michael was once again interrupted, this time by Max's low chuckle that soon turned into a full bout of laughter.
"I'm glad you find this funny…so who was it this time?" Michael asked, hoping to steer the conversation from his lov…her strong dislike for the green-eyed motor mouth. Max's laughter stopped and a serious expression came over his face.
"Max…MAX! Hey Max! There's Whitman's house, you just passed it." Michael's voice rang out and Max looked back, and thought, indeed he did pass Alex's house.
-=-=-=-=-
Liz was so intrigued by her book that she hardly paid any attention to her surroundings, not even registering the fact that hours had passed since she sat herself down. It wasn't until she felt something tap against her foot, did she look down to see a small blue ball, looking up she saw its owner running across the grass on small feet, and she smiled at the sweet sight. Picking up the ball, she offered it to the little boy who took it almost shyly. It was then she noticed that it had been the little boy she had seen before, and glancing over, she saw a little girl running up to him and grabbing his hand. Liz smiled at the sight, her heart warming as she said softly, "I'm Liz. What's your name little guy?"
Suddenly he stood up straighter, gripping the girl's hand tighter, "I'm James, and this is my life, Wisa."
The little girl giggled softly before smacking his arm. "No! My name is Lisa, and I'm you wife."
The boy blushed apologizing by giving her a peck on the cheek, which obviously seemed to appease her as she was tugging on his hand. He ran after her, calling back to Liz, "Thank ywo Wiz!"
Liz watched them go, laughing softly, trying so hard to push back the fact that at one time she had also been married, only her groom's name was Mwax, and she was Wizzie. Again, lost in the memories of her "wedding", she took no notice of the person walking up to her, and nearly jumped six feet into the air at the soft, "Hey."
Clutching her heart, she whirled around to the person who had startled her, and was even more shocked to see Sean Williams standing in front of her.
"I think you just took away six years of my life!" Liz exclaimed, calming down somewhat, although wary about his presence. He seemed like an okay person, arrogant perhaps, but nice in his own way. The only thing she could have complained about was the uncomfortable way he had been staring at her on their cab ride to the Crashdown. Not once did he look away from the mirror, and when she looked up, she had caught his eye.
"…it really is a small world." Liz blinked, suddenly noticing that he had been talking, feeling somewhat guilty. Liz managed, a huh?
It didn't faze Sean as he repeated his earlier statement, "I didn't think I would ever see you again, it really is a small world."
"Nah, just a really small town." Liz quipped, moving subtly over as he sat down next to her. She didn't have to look over to know that he was staring at her. They sat in uncomfortable silence before it became to much for Liz, "So where's Serena?"
Sean came out of his stupor to see that Liz was staring at him strangely, Great Williams, way not to look like a demented stalker. What did she say? She's so beautiful…er…oh! Rena! "Rena? She's out of town, she went back to California to see some relatives and friends."
"Oh. That's nice." Liz looked down at her watch, three o' clock. Maybe she should head back, it wouldn't hurt to be early, and maybe her dad needed another waitress. "Uh. Listen. I gotta go, maybe we should get together some time when Serena's back ok?"
Sean, desperate to have her stay with him, blurted out a loud, "NO!"
Liz looked at him startled, and he continued. "I mean, no. Don't go. Listen." His mind began to work fast, thinking of a reason for her to stay, and it clicked. "I was wondering if you could, you know. Give me a tour of the town, since I'm new and all…"
Liz hesitated, the look on his face, stopping her. He looked so hopeful. Maybe she was wrong. After all she always thought you should get to know someone before you judge them. Letting go of her breath, Liz nodded in agreement, hoping she wasn't making a mistake. "Alright."
He seemed startled of her answer, but the smile that blew over his face changed his whole face, making him look like a little boy in a way. "What?"
His smile made her want to smile, a real smile, only a thing two other people know how to do, especially after…well she really didn't want to delve deeper into her memory.
"I said okay. It would be my pleasure." And if she thought the smile was cute before, well, she didn't know how to describe how amazing it looked now.
-=-=-=-=-
"Damn, you guys are late." Kyle complained, but no one was paying attention to him. Max was off in his on little world while Michael seemed to be looking at his house intently. Alex was drumming absentmindedly on the seat as Kyle got in beside him. Looking over at Michael, he said very loudly, "Michael, you can stop looking for her. She and Tess are out shopping for tonight."
Michael snapped out of his stupor, a mask of confusion on his face as he looked at Kyle, "What? Who?"
Kyle only smirked, "Ria."
Michael's face flamed upon the mention of her name, and he shook his head, denying it instantly, "What are you talking about? I was looking for Amy. I've had the biggest craving for her famous blackberry pie."
"Uh-huh." Was the only reply he received. "I was!"
By this time everyone was laughing and Michael was muttering something about wishing he had alien powers so he could just blast his so-called friends to pieces.
"Seriously man, you need to get laid. I mean I don't know how long I could go without Tess's hot little body sliding under…" Kyle was interrupted by Alex who was making gagging noises, "Too much info Valenti. I really don't need to hear about my cousin and best friend's sex-life. Ew…mental pictures! Get them out! Get them out!"
Alex continued to make gagging noises as he banged his head against Max's seat, obviously trying to get rid of the images in his head, and Kyle had the decency to blush; this time Max and Michael were the ones laughing.
"You never answered my question though…why were you guys so late?"
Michael rolled his eyes before muttering, "Ask Mr. Energizer Bunny here. He couldn't get himself out of bed."
Kyle's eyes widened, "Already? Damn! You do move fast." His voice contained his awed respect for Max, who once again became agitated. "Who was it this time? Not Pam Troy I hope, 'cause that girl's…"
"It wasn't anyone!" Max finally exclaimed, and upon seeing the looks on their faces, he sighed, "Not that either! I was just sleeping…alone."
"Oh. Okay." The tone Michael used showed his disbelief, but no one pressed the issue.
-=-=-=-
The afternoon passed surprisingly fast for Liz, and even more surprising was the fact that she didn't really mind Sean's company, actually enjoying the fact that he was there with her. For the first time in a long time, she found herself laughing and having genuine fun. Never did she think of her depression or Max as she gave him a tour of Roswell, telling him stories here and there, listening and laughing while he told her tales of his surfing buddies and their many adventures, or misadventures in this case. She hadn't felt this alive since…well, let's not get into that yet. For now, Liz decided to enjoy herself with someone who didn't know about her past. Someone who didn't know how she had been close to death not only one time, but three.
Sean on his part never felt this alive, ever. Not even when he won the surfing championship, riding the largest wave in his surfing career. It had been thrilling yes, but nothing could compare to spending time with Liz. So far they had gone all over Roswell, from one tourist trap to another. He had even bought her some alien antennas, to which she told him about working in her dad's restaurant and the outfit she was forced to wear. He had laughed at her, and she had gotten him back by tickling his sides, launching an all out tickle war between the two. It was getting late, and he looked over at her. "So what next?"
Liz thought for a second before brightening, "Ever play pool?"
Sean could only think about how adorably cute she looked when she got that evil glint in her eyes while he numbly nodded, overwhelmed by her presence.
-=-=-=-
"Man, I need your help out there. Alex and Michael are sitting there arguing about what they should play today. Michael is going on and on about how they should play Metallica and not the other pansy music, and Alex is arguing about the fact that they needed a variety. Added to that, your sister and the other girls are Nazis in disguise, did you know that?" Kyle quickly ranted in one breath to only see that Max wasn't even paying attention to him. In fact, he looked kinda sad.
"You okay there?" Kyle asked, concerned for his friend as he sat down next to the pensive Max.
"Huh? Oh yeah. Just tired, I needed a break, but I'm ok now." Max got up to leave, but Kyle stopped him, "You're lying."
Max looked back at Kyle, and suddenly everything that he kept in burst forward.
"Why does everyone assume that when I'm not at school or playing football or basketball that I'm out fucking some whore?"
The question and the emotion behind the question surprised Kyle, but he recovered before answering truthfully, "Because you really haven't given us a reason to believe otherwise. You have quite a reputation as the mega player you know?"
Max sighed in defeat, sitting down once again. It was true, his reputation as a player was totally true. He never held onto a girlfriend for more than two weeks, and he never broke up with them until he got them in the sack. Many guys envied him and thought he enjoyed the reputation, but he couldn't care less for it, just as he couldn't care less for all those girls that he had used. Lately though, he had been feeling guilty. Guilty for using all those girls, for not saving himself for the One.
"You know what I think? I think you're searching for her." Max looked up at Kyle with a start. He had a serious expression on his face. "You know. The one girl you're supposed to be with…forever. The reason you sleep with all those girls is because you're still looking, but you still can't find her. That's why you're sleeping with those girls. You're sort of punishing yourself and her by giving yourself away to every good-looking girl that comes your way. You're angry because you haven't found her yet." Max gave Kyle a strange look, and Kyle shrugged. "Or maybe you really are a player."
He got up and started out of the doors, but Max's voice stopped him. "What does it feel like to find her?"
Kyle smiled before replying, "Complete. You feel complete. Don't worry Max, trust in yourself and you'll find the way. At least that's what Buddha says."
-=-=-=-
"Oh my god!" Liz cried as she looked down at her watch, it was now six o' clock. She was going to be late.
"What's wrong?" Sean came over and looked her over in concern, "Are you okay? Hurt?"
"No, no! I've got to go." Liz cried as she rushed out of the bar, leaving Sean shell-shocked and frozen. After a few minutes, however, he ran out after her.
"Wait!" He grabbed her arm, stuttering sadly, "I thought…we were having fun…"
"We were! We were! But I'm late. My parents wanted me home for another night of family fun." Liz explained sarcastically rolling her eyes at the last part. "They're going to kill me!"
"Hey, it's okay. I'll drive you. I can explain what happened."
-=-=-=-
Everyone was silent, waiting. It was forty minutes passed six, and they were worried. Especially Nancy. Liz was never late.
"Oh my god! What if something happened to her? What if she's unconscious somewhere?" She cried hysterically, shaking her poor husband, "We can't lose her, we've just got her back."
She knew she was overreacting, but past events surfaced in her mind, and she was scared for her little girl. Michael tried to soothe his mom, but his own fear was overwhelming. Another few minutes, and he was going to go find her.
-=-=-=-
Sean looked over at her agitated face, and grabbed her hand with his free hand, marveling at how small it was and how it fitted nicely with his. She smiled at him softly. She was still wearing the antennas that he had given her.
"That's it over there." He pulled into the parking lot of an alien-themed restaurant and quickly got out of the car, before rushing to her side and opening the door for her. They walked in silence, and the look on her face hurt him. Stopping he pulled her to him, "What's wrong? I'm sure it'll be alright. They'll understand after I explain to them that you were showing me around."
"It's not that. It's just…I don't ever want to disappoint them. I've done that enough already." Liz murmured. Now that the magic of her day with Sean had worn off, reality hit her like a ton of rocks. He pulled her into his embrace, "I don't think you could ever disappoint anyone Beth."
He had gotten into the habit of calling her Beth instead of Liz, and she really didn't mind. It was just a name.
"But there's so much they don't know, that you don't know. So many secrets…so much pain. You don't know how much I hurt them this past year alone." Liz said softly. Sean, who couldn't stand to see that look on her face, tickled her side. "Enough of that Parker. It's all in the past. Now smile."
At her weak attempt of a smile, he tickled a particularly ticklish spot causing bouts of giggles to erupt from within her as she struggled from his grasp.
-=-=-=-
Laughter filled the air, not just any laughter but a beautiful familiar and long unheard laughter, laughter that melted their hearts, one in particular as his smile widened and amber eyes danced, waiting with bated breaths for her to come through the doors.
-=-=-=-
Liz chased Sean around the parking lot, trying to get him back for tickling her, but now she lost him. She walked around cautiously looking around. Seeing nothing but emptiness, she sighed and walked carefully towards the door of the café. Just as she was about to open the door, she was swooped up into strong arms, one hand tickling her as she once again gasped with laughter.
"Oh my God! Put me down this instant Sean!" He ignored her as he opened the doors to the seemingly empty café, she was still laughing and making threats as they entered. As soon as they entered, the lights burst on; balloons and confetti were everywhere as many people yelled out, "Surprise! WELCOME HOME LIZ!"
Liz looked around, as best as she could in bewilderment, momentarily forgetting that she was thrown over Sean's shoulder. Her eyes widened when she saw that everyone was there, and everyone was now giving her questioning looks as their eyes widened in surprise to see their Lizzie thrown over the shoulder of some strange guy, who seemed quite comfortable and happy to have her right there.
Sean looked around at the decorations and the strange people, forgetting that Liz was on his shoulders. His eyes met one stranger's in particular as amber eyes pierced through him, eyes that held anger…and jealousy? Before he could decipher anything, he felt Liz sliding off of his shoulder, and down his back before running towards the crowd in excitement. He forgot all about those angry eyes as he watched her bounced around in excitement, his heart beating a mile a minute.
-=-=-=-
"Oh my god! You guys!" Tears were streaming down Liz's face as she pulled her family into a hug. "Thank you so much!"
"CHICA!" A scream came from behind her parents as she was pulled into a big hug, screaming herself in excitement. "RIA!"
Michael who had been standing next to Liz, staring at the guy who had been touching his sister, looked over at Maria in annoyance as he covered his ears, "Do you always have to be so loud?"
Maria pointedly ignored him as she babbled onto Liz about something only she could understand. Next up was Tess, who gave a loud shriek and joined Maria and Liz in a hug.
"Oh! Oh! Group hug! Me next! Me next!" Alex exclaimed in a loud, shrill girly voice as he hopped around the girl. Liz laughingly pulled him in and the four friends hugged tightly, "Any room for one more?"
"Kyle!" Liz launched herself into his arms, which caught her immediately, "Hey kitten, how have you been?"
"I missed you guys so much!" Liz shrieked as she, Maria, and Tess jumped up and down. Max, who had torn his eyes away from the guy who had carried Liz in watched her with amusement and affection, and suddenly visions of his dreams, those eyes, and Kyle's words echoed through his mind.
"Let's get ready to RUUUUUMBBLLLLLEE!" Alex shouted in his best announcer voice before the first song came on. Soon everyone was losing his or herself to the beat of the music. Everyone but Max, who was watching Liz dance around with the girls, laughing her head off. He felt someone's stare on him and looked over to meet a pair of icy blue eyes. They held stares for a few moments before turning their eyes back to the beautiful and carefree Liz in front of them.
-=-=-=-
The party continued and Liz danced to every single song as she finally allowed herself to relax. They had accepted her. They still wanted to be her friend. The thought alone healed some of the pain she had been facing for the past few months. Looking around at all the laughing faces, Tess and Kyle dancing together, to Maria and Isabel dancing, to where Michael and Alex were arguing over music, she realized… that she was finally home.
-=-=-=-
The music stopped, and a slower song came on, and slowly couples got together. Liz watched as Kyle and Tess held each other, sighing in envy about the fact that you could see the love between them.
Ohhhhhhhh ohhhh
Oohh ohhhh
There are times
I swear I know you're here
I forget about my fears
Feelin you my dear
She stood for a few moments, alone in the middle of the dance floor before walking off to the side to watch all the happy couples. Liz saw Alex and Isabel walking to the dance floor, somewhat shyly and smiled at the sweet sight before her.
Watchin over me
My hope sees
What the future will bring
When you wrap your wings
And take me where you are
Where you and I will be together
Once again, we'll be dancin in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me
Only then will I be free
When I can be, where you are
She laughed when she saw Maria dragging a not all to willing Michael to the floor, and her heart went out to her brother. Her breath caught however, upon seeing the way he was so careful with Maria, treating her as if she were glass. Reminding her of the fact that she wanted someone. NO. She needed someone who could heal her, take away her pain; someone to treat her like glass. She just needed someone to love her. Tears started trailing down her cheeks upon remembering that she had that once, but now it was too late. Swiping at her tears, Liz looked down, unable to bear the sight of the happiness and love around her when all she had was sorrow and hatred…self-hatred.
And I can see your face
Your kiss I still can taste
Not a memory erased
Oh, how I see your star
Shinin down on me
And I'd do anything
If I could just, be right there where you are
She never noticed the two pairs of eyes that were on her, or the breaking of two hearts to see the tears on her face.
Max made his way through the crowds, pushing people out of the way to get to his little Liz, his Liz who was in pain. Something he could never bear. He could never bear the thought of Liz in pain; she didn't deserve to ever be in pain, she should never have to cry. Little did he know, but he was the reason for all her tears, past and present.
Where you and I will breathe together
Once again we'll be dancin in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me (you'll be smilin back at me)
Only then will I be free
Then I will be free, so take me where you are
"Great party huh?" Max asked as he sat down next to her, ignoring the way she suddenly stiffened, and swiped at the tears pooling down her cheeks.
"Yeah, thank you. My mom told me it was your idea." Liz looked up at him, her eyes bright from the tears. He swallowed down the feeling her smile stirred in him, "Anything for my Lizzie."
He caught the flash of pain in her eyes, but it disappeared quickly, making him wonder if he was seeing things.
"So how was your reunion?" She asked quietly.
"It was good, I got to meet a lot of family I didn't even know existed. Lots of second and third cousins." He started to ask her about why she was crying, but caught the look in her eyes, and he knew not to say anything. They could always read each other so well. Looking over to where he saw their friends dancing, he noticed the longing in her eyes, and thought that the same longing was probably in his.
He stood up and walked to stand in front of her, to ask her to dance. Just like they used to, but was interrupted by a masculine voice that held a British accent.
"Milady, care to dance?" Max looked up to see the same guy who had carried Liz through the doors, and once again anger flushed through him.
Now baby there are times when selfishly
I wishin that you were here with me
So I can wipe the tears from your eyes and make you see
That every night when you are dreamin
I'm here to guard you from afar
And anytime I feel in love
I'll close my eyes and dream of where you are
Where you are
Max looked over at Liz, and he felt something in himself drop at the smile that graced her lips, gone was the sorrow from her eyes as she laughed with the mystery boy. Liz noticed his discomfort and decided to introduce to the two.
"Max, this is Sean Williams. Sean, Max Evans." She introduced, gesturing at the two.
The two just continued to look at one another as electricity crackled in the air. Liz laughed nervously before nudging Max, who looked at her quickly. She nodded her head at Sean and gave him a pointed look. Max held his hand out to Sean, and the other boy took it, both of them squeezing each other's hand tightly. They shook hands for a while, grips tightening as eyes sent hidden messages to one another. Liz laughed nervously again before pulling, rather prying their hands away from one another. Sean smiled again, and turned to Liz, "About that dance?"
Liz nodded and gave Max a quick peck on the cheek before joining Sean on the dance floor. Max stood there, suddenly feeling empty, and some other strange emotions upon seeing Sean hold onto Liz tightly. Was that jealousy? It couldn't be. Max shook his head at the silliness of the thought, not once did he realize that he had shattered the glass in his hand, or the small imprint he had left in the wall. Jealous? No, he wasn't jealous.
Looking over again, he couldn't help but see how beautiful Liz looked, his little Liz all grown up, meeting other boys. The last part was little desired as he watched Sean move his hand lower. Suddenly he noted that his jaw hurt and was surprised to see that he had been clenching it shut.
Nope, not jealous.
Right.
Where you and I will breathe together
Once again we'll be dancin in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me (you'll be smilin back at me)
Only then will I be free
Then I will be free,
Baby I still believe
Oh I gotta believe
I still believe
I will touch you that sweet day
As she danced with Sean, flashes and images over another time came to her mind. She was being held in different arms, and another masculine smell reached her nose. She remembered feeling safe…loved. "Beth?"
Her eyes snapped open guiltily. Here she was dancing with an amazing guy and imagining that it was someone else. She smiled up at him and he smiled at her. She rested her head against him, and in her mind she saw amber eyes filled with hurt as she walked away from him. The thought startled her, and she opened her eyes, to look around discreetly.
That you take me there
Where you are (where you are)
I still believe
Whoooooa, I gotta believe
I still believe
I will touch you that sweet day
He watched with a myriad of emotions as she rested her head on Sean's chest, and his own chest tightened. It was so hard seeing your little sister grow up. At least that's how he explained these feelings. He ignored the other part of him that whispered how he hadn't been like this with Isabel.
"Hey handsome." Max looked over to find himself looking into blue gray eyes.
"Vicky." His eyes trailed lower, and he made himself forget about Liz. About the way his heart was screaming how this was wrong. Just like every other time he had done this.
That you take me there
Where you are, oh where you are!
I still believe
I gotta believe
I still believe
I'll always be waiting here
That sweet day (that sweet day, yeah!)
Liz looked up when she heard the chimes of the bells above the door, to see Max holding the door open to one of Pam's friends, Vicky. Her breath caught in her throat as his eyes suddenly met hers, and she felt something in her shatter as disappointment washed over her. He tore his eyes away from hers and walked away, never looking back.
Liz turned back to Sean, laying her head down as one lone tear trekked down her cheeks.
I still believe......I still believe....
**Where You Are, Jessica Simpson**
tbc(???)
Tell me what you think!
It was mid-afternoon; the sun was ever shining brightly, and here he was, sitting in the exact same spot he had been sitting in for the past few hours, barely moving, just staring blatantly. Anyone who passed by could see who he was staring at and had seen the look in his eyes, everyone but the one person he wanted to understand. He had only moved when the waitress came by to refill his cup of coffee, and only then he merely glanced at her. Before turning back to look at his beauty, not caring if the world thought him to be some sort of crazy stalker. The only person's opinion that mattered was sitting right across from him, oblivious to the world as she sat, reading. Three times already, he had worked up the courage to go over and talk to her, but chickened out at the last minute.
Man, if his friends could see him now, intimidated by extremely small girl, who was at least a head shorter than him, they would have…well…laughed. But he realized, it wouldn't have mattered what they thought, what anyone thought of him, as long as…as long as he was able to see her, to be in her presence, then he knew everything would be ok.
Sean laughed at himself; he sounded so cornball, and he was sure that a year ago, he would have laughed at himself for thinking these things. But that was before he met Liz, in their brief encounter, she had awoken something in him; she made him want to change. To be someone different, someone who mattered…someone who mattered to her. Looking over again, he saw that she had stopped reading, and was now smiling down at a little boy whose ball she had caught. Taking a deep breath, Sean got up and walked over to her, hoping that this time, he wouldn't run away.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Maxwell, you're twenty minutes late." Michael complained as he hopped over the side of the Jeep, into his the front seat. "Any longer and this thing would probably have melted."
"I know, I know. I just couldn't get myself out of bed," Max replied, distracted as he looked at the road ahead of him. Michael's eyes widened considerably, "Damn man, already? How long have you been back now? Twelve hours? You do work fast."
Max looked over at Michael, confusion masking his face as if saying, 'huh?'
Michael only looked amused as a smirk crossed his lips, "Who was it this time? Please don't tell me it was Pam Troy, that girl is a like a garbage can, overused and dirty."
Max nearly swerved off the road, but caught himself, "What? No!"
"Good, good. Now tell me Max, who was it? I'm not getting any, you know I live through your sex life." Michael kidded as he looked around at the familiar surroundings. His statement however caused Max to smile. "And whose fault was that? No one told you to fall for Ria."
"Hey, who can blame me? She's feisty and actually has a mind, unlike those girls I used to do. And God, that body, the way her hair smells like rosemary, and those eyes…and hey!" Michael stopped midway through his little version of Maria babble, "I haven't fallen for dogbreath! She's annoying and loud, and talks way too much. Plus she calls me Spaceboy I mean come on, I can't even understand half of the things coming out of her mouth, and what's with sniffing all those oils? You'd think that she would…"
Michael was once again interrupted, this time by Max's low chuckle that soon turned into a full bout of laughter.
"I'm glad you find this funny…so who was it this time?" Michael asked, hoping to steer the conversation from his lov…her strong dislike for the green-eyed motor mouth. Max's laughter stopped and a serious expression came over his face.
"Max…MAX! Hey Max! There's Whitman's house, you just passed it." Michael's voice rang out and Max looked back, and thought, indeed he did pass Alex's house.
-=-=-=-=-
Liz was so intrigued by her book that she hardly paid any attention to her surroundings, not even registering the fact that hours had passed since she sat herself down. It wasn't until she felt something tap against her foot, did she look down to see a small blue ball, looking up she saw its owner running across the grass on small feet, and she smiled at the sweet sight. Picking up the ball, she offered it to the little boy who took it almost shyly. It was then she noticed that it had been the little boy she had seen before, and glancing over, she saw a little girl running up to him and grabbing his hand. Liz smiled at the sight, her heart warming as she said softly, "I'm Liz. What's your name little guy?"
Suddenly he stood up straighter, gripping the girl's hand tighter, "I'm James, and this is my life, Wisa."
The little girl giggled softly before smacking his arm. "No! My name is Lisa, and I'm you wife."
The boy blushed apologizing by giving her a peck on the cheek, which obviously seemed to appease her as she was tugging on his hand. He ran after her, calling back to Liz, "Thank ywo Wiz!"
Liz watched them go, laughing softly, trying so hard to push back the fact that at one time she had also been married, only her groom's name was Mwax, and she was Wizzie. Again, lost in the memories of her "wedding", she took no notice of the person walking up to her, and nearly jumped six feet into the air at the soft, "Hey."
Clutching her heart, she whirled around to the person who had startled her, and was even more shocked to see Sean Williams standing in front of her.
"I think you just took away six years of my life!" Liz exclaimed, calming down somewhat, although wary about his presence. He seemed like an okay person, arrogant perhaps, but nice in his own way. The only thing she could have complained about was the uncomfortable way he had been staring at her on their cab ride to the Crashdown. Not once did he look away from the mirror, and when she looked up, she had caught his eye.
"…it really is a small world." Liz blinked, suddenly noticing that he had been talking, feeling somewhat guilty. Liz managed, a huh?
It didn't faze Sean as he repeated his earlier statement, "I didn't think I would ever see you again, it really is a small world."
"Nah, just a really small town." Liz quipped, moving subtly over as he sat down next to her. She didn't have to look over to know that he was staring at her. They sat in uncomfortable silence before it became to much for Liz, "So where's Serena?"
Sean came out of his stupor to see that Liz was staring at him strangely, Great Williams, way not to look like a demented stalker. What did she say? She's so beautiful…er…oh! Rena! "Rena? She's out of town, she went back to California to see some relatives and friends."
"Oh. That's nice." Liz looked down at her watch, three o' clock. Maybe she should head back, it wouldn't hurt to be early, and maybe her dad needed another waitress. "Uh. Listen. I gotta go, maybe we should get together some time when Serena's back ok?"
Sean, desperate to have her stay with him, blurted out a loud, "NO!"
Liz looked at him startled, and he continued. "I mean, no. Don't go. Listen." His mind began to work fast, thinking of a reason for her to stay, and it clicked. "I was wondering if you could, you know. Give me a tour of the town, since I'm new and all…"
Liz hesitated, the look on his face, stopping her. He looked so hopeful. Maybe she was wrong. After all she always thought you should get to know someone before you judge them. Letting go of her breath, Liz nodded in agreement, hoping she wasn't making a mistake. "Alright."
He seemed startled of her answer, but the smile that blew over his face changed his whole face, making him look like a little boy in a way. "What?"
His smile made her want to smile, a real smile, only a thing two other people know how to do, especially after…well she really didn't want to delve deeper into her memory.
"I said okay. It would be my pleasure." And if she thought the smile was cute before, well, she didn't know how to describe how amazing it looked now.
-=-=-=-=-
"Damn, you guys are late." Kyle complained, but no one was paying attention to him. Max was off in his on little world while Michael seemed to be looking at his house intently. Alex was drumming absentmindedly on the seat as Kyle got in beside him. Looking over at Michael, he said very loudly, "Michael, you can stop looking for her. She and Tess are out shopping for tonight."
Michael snapped out of his stupor, a mask of confusion on his face as he looked at Kyle, "What? Who?"
Kyle only smirked, "Ria."
Michael's face flamed upon the mention of her name, and he shook his head, denying it instantly, "What are you talking about? I was looking for Amy. I've had the biggest craving for her famous blackberry pie."
"Uh-huh." Was the only reply he received. "I was!"
By this time everyone was laughing and Michael was muttering something about wishing he had alien powers so he could just blast his so-called friends to pieces.
"Seriously man, you need to get laid. I mean I don't know how long I could go without Tess's hot little body sliding under…" Kyle was interrupted by Alex who was making gagging noises, "Too much info Valenti. I really don't need to hear about my cousin and best friend's sex-life. Ew…mental pictures! Get them out! Get them out!"
Alex continued to make gagging noises as he banged his head against Max's seat, obviously trying to get rid of the images in his head, and Kyle had the decency to blush; this time Max and Michael were the ones laughing.
"You never answered my question though…why were you guys so late?"
Michael rolled his eyes before muttering, "Ask Mr. Energizer Bunny here. He couldn't get himself out of bed."
Kyle's eyes widened, "Already? Damn! You do move fast." His voice contained his awed respect for Max, who once again became agitated. "Who was it this time? Not Pam Troy I hope, 'cause that girl's…"
"It wasn't anyone!" Max finally exclaimed, and upon seeing the looks on their faces, he sighed, "Not that either! I was just sleeping…alone."
"Oh. Okay." The tone Michael used showed his disbelief, but no one pressed the issue.
-=-=-=-
The afternoon passed surprisingly fast for Liz, and even more surprising was the fact that she didn't really mind Sean's company, actually enjoying the fact that he was there with her. For the first time in a long time, she found herself laughing and having genuine fun. Never did she think of her depression or Max as she gave him a tour of Roswell, telling him stories here and there, listening and laughing while he told her tales of his surfing buddies and their many adventures, or misadventures in this case. She hadn't felt this alive since…well, let's not get into that yet. For now, Liz decided to enjoy herself with someone who didn't know about her past. Someone who didn't know how she had been close to death not only one time, but three.
Sean on his part never felt this alive, ever. Not even when he won the surfing championship, riding the largest wave in his surfing career. It had been thrilling yes, but nothing could compare to spending time with Liz. So far they had gone all over Roswell, from one tourist trap to another. He had even bought her some alien antennas, to which she told him about working in her dad's restaurant and the outfit she was forced to wear. He had laughed at her, and she had gotten him back by tickling his sides, launching an all out tickle war between the two. It was getting late, and he looked over at her. "So what next?"
Liz thought for a second before brightening, "Ever play pool?"
Sean could only think about how adorably cute she looked when she got that evil glint in her eyes while he numbly nodded, overwhelmed by her presence.
-=-=-=-
"Man, I need your help out there. Alex and Michael are sitting there arguing about what they should play today. Michael is going on and on about how they should play Metallica and not the other pansy music, and Alex is arguing about the fact that they needed a variety. Added to that, your sister and the other girls are Nazis in disguise, did you know that?" Kyle quickly ranted in one breath to only see that Max wasn't even paying attention to him. In fact, he looked kinda sad.
"You okay there?" Kyle asked, concerned for his friend as he sat down next to the pensive Max.
"Huh? Oh yeah. Just tired, I needed a break, but I'm ok now." Max got up to leave, but Kyle stopped him, "You're lying."
Max looked back at Kyle, and suddenly everything that he kept in burst forward.
"Why does everyone assume that when I'm not at school or playing football or basketball that I'm out fucking some whore?"
The question and the emotion behind the question surprised Kyle, but he recovered before answering truthfully, "Because you really haven't given us a reason to believe otherwise. You have quite a reputation as the mega player you know?"
Max sighed in defeat, sitting down once again. It was true, his reputation as a player was totally true. He never held onto a girlfriend for more than two weeks, and he never broke up with them until he got them in the sack. Many guys envied him and thought he enjoyed the reputation, but he couldn't care less for it, just as he couldn't care less for all those girls that he had used. Lately though, he had been feeling guilty. Guilty for using all those girls, for not saving himself for the One.
"You know what I think? I think you're searching for her." Max looked up at Kyle with a start. He had a serious expression on his face. "You know. The one girl you're supposed to be with…forever. The reason you sleep with all those girls is because you're still looking, but you still can't find her. That's why you're sleeping with those girls. You're sort of punishing yourself and her by giving yourself away to every good-looking girl that comes your way. You're angry because you haven't found her yet." Max gave Kyle a strange look, and Kyle shrugged. "Or maybe you really are a player."
He got up and started out of the doors, but Max's voice stopped him. "What does it feel like to find her?"
Kyle smiled before replying, "Complete. You feel complete. Don't worry Max, trust in yourself and you'll find the way. At least that's what Buddha says."
-=-=-=-
"Oh my god!" Liz cried as she looked down at her watch, it was now six o' clock. She was going to be late.
"What's wrong?" Sean came over and looked her over in concern, "Are you okay? Hurt?"
"No, no! I've got to go." Liz cried as she rushed out of the bar, leaving Sean shell-shocked and frozen. After a few minutes, however, he ran out after her.
"Wait!" He grabbed her arm, stuttering sadly, "I thought…we were having fun…"
"We were! We were! But I'm late. My parents wanted me home for another night of family fun." Liz explained sarcastically rolling her eyes at the last part. "They're going to kill me!"
"Hey, it's okay. I'll drive you. I can explain what happened."
-=-=-=-
Everyone was silent, waiting. It was forty minutes passed six, and they were worried. Especially Nancy. Liz was never late.
"Oh my god! What if something happened to her? What if she's unconscious somewhere?" She cried hysterically, shaking her poor husband, "We can't lose her, we've just got her back."
She knew she was overreacting, but past events surfaced in her mind, and she was scared for her little girl. Michael tried to soothe his mom, but his own fear was overwhelming. Another few minutes, and he was going to go find her.
-=-=-=-
Sean looked over at her agitated face, and grabbed her hand with his free hand, marveling at how small it was and how it fitted nicely with his. She smiled at him softly. She was still wearing the antennas that he had given her.
"That's it over there." He pulled into the parking lot of an alien-themed restaurant and quickly got out of the car, before rushing to her side and opening the door for her. They walked in silence, and the look on her face hurt him. Stopping he pulled her to him, "What's wrong? I'm sure it'll be alright. They'll understand after I explain to them that you were showing me around."
"It's not that. It's just…I don't ever want to disappoint them. I've done that enough already." Liz murmured. Now that the magic of her day with Sean had worn off, reality hit her like a ton of rocks. He pulled her into his embrace, "I don't think you could ever disappoint anyone Beth."
He had gotten into the habit of calling her Beth instead of Liz, and she really didn't mind. It was just a name.
"But there's so much they don't know, that you don't know. So many secrets…so much pain. You don't know how much I hurt them this past year alone." Liz said softly. Sean, who couldn't stand to see that look on her face, tickled her side. "Enough of that Parker. It's all in the past. Now smile."
At her weak attempt of a smile, he tickled a particularly ticklish spot causing bouts of giggles to erupt from within her as she struggled from his grasp.
-=-=-=-
Laughter filled the air, not just any laughter but a beautiful familiar and long unheard laughter, laughter that melted their hearts, one in particular as his smile widened and amber eyes danced, waiting with bated breaths for her to come through the doors.
-=-=-=-
Liz chased Sean around the parking lot, trying to get him back for tickling her, but now she lost him. She walked around cautiously looking around. Seeing nothing but emptiness, she sighed and walked carefully towards the door of the café. Just as she was about to open the door, she was swooped up into strong arms, one hand tickling her as she once again gasped with laughter.
"Oh my God! Put me down this instant Sean!" He ignored her as he opened the doors to the seemingly empty café, she was still laughing and making threats as they entered. As soon as they entered, the lights burst on; balloons and confetti were everywhere as many people yelled out, "Surprise! WELCOME HOME LIZ!"
Liz looked around, as best as she could in bewilderment, momentarily forgetting that she was thrown over Sean's shoulder. Her eyes widened when she saw that everyone was there, and everyone was now giving her questioning looks as their eyes widened in surprise to see their Lizzie thrown over the shoulder of some strange guy, who seemed quite comfortable and happy to have her right there.
Sean looked around at the decorations and the strange people, forgetting that Liz was on his shoulders. His eyes met one stranger's in particular as amber eyes pierced through him, eyes that held anger…and jealousy? Before he could decipher anything, he felt Liz sliding off of his shoulder, and down his back before running towards the crowd in excitement. He forgot all about those angry eyes as he watched her bounced around in excitement, his heart beating a mile a minute.
-=-=-=-
"Oh my god! You guys!" Tears were streaming down Liz's face as she pulled her family into a hug. "Thank you so much!"
"CHICA!" A scream came from behind her parents as she was pulled into a big hug, screaming herself in excitement. "RIA!"
Michael who had been standing next to Liz, staring at the guy who had been touching his sister, looked over at Maria in annoyance as he covered his ears, "Do you always have to be so loud?"
Maria pointedly ignored him as she babbled onto Liz about something only she could understand. Next up was Tess, who gave a loud shriek and joined Maria and Liz in a hug.
"Oh! Oh! Group hug! Me next! Me next!" Alex exclaimed in a loud, shrill girly voice as he hopped around the girl. Liz laughingly pulled him in and the four friends hugged tightly, "Any room for one more?"
"Kyle!" Liz launched herself into his arms, which caught her immediately, "Hey kitten, how have you been?"
"I missed you guys so much!" Liz shrieked as she, Maria, and Tess jumped up and down. Max, who had torn his eyes away from the guy who had carried Liz in watched her with amusement and affection, and suddenly visions of his dreams, those eyes, and Kyle's words echoed through his mind.
"Let's get ready to RUUUUUMBBLLLLLEE!" Alex shouted in his best announcer voice before the first song came on. Soon everyone was losing his or herself to the beat of the music. Everyone but Max, who was watching Liz dance around with the girls, laughing her head off. He felt someone's stare on him and looked over to meet a pair of icy blue eyes. They held stares for a few moments before turning their eyes back to the beautiful and carefree Liz in front of them.
-=-=-=-
The party continued and Liz danced to every single song as she finally allowed herself to relax. They had accepted her. They still wanted to be her friend. The thought alone healed some of the pain she had been facing for the past few months. Looking around at all the laughing faces, Tess and Kyle dancing together, to Maria and Isabel dancing, to where Michael and Alex were arguing over music, she realized… that she was finally home.
-=-=-=-
The music stopped, and a slower song came on, and slowly couples got together. Liz watched as Kyle and Tess held each other, sighing in envy about the fact that you could see the love between them.
Ohhhhhhhh ohhhh
Oohh ohhhh
There are times
I swear I know you're here
I forget about my fears
Feelin you my dear
She stood for a few moments, alone in the middle of the dance floor before walking off to the side to watch all the happy couples. Liz saw Alex and Isabel walking to the dance floor, somewhat shyly and smiled at the sweet sight before her.
Watchin over me
My hope sees
What the future will bring
When you wrap your wings
And take me where you are
Where you and I will be together
Once again, we'll be dancin in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me
Only then will I be free
When I can be, where you are
She laughed when she saw Maria dragging a not all to willing Michael to the floor, and her heart went out to her brother. Her breath caught however, upon seeing the way he was so careful with Maria, treating her as if she were glass. Reminding her of the fact that she wanted someone. NO. She needed someone who could heal her, take away her pain; someone to treat her like glass. She just needed someone to love her. Tears started trailing down her cheeks upon remembering that she had that once, but now it was too late. Swiping at her tears, Liz looked down, unable to bear the sight of the happiness and love around her when all she had was sorrow and hatred…self-hatred.
And I can see your face
Your kiss I still can taste
Not a memory erased
Oh, how I see your star
Shinin down on me
And I'd do anything
If I could just, be right there where you are
She never noticed the two pairs of eyes that were on her, or the breaking of two hearts to see the tears on her face.
Max made his way through the crowds, pushing people out of the way to get to his little Liz, his Liz who was in pain. Something he could never bear. He could never bear the thought of Liz in pain; she didn't deserve to ever be in pain, she should never have to cry. Little did he know, but he was the reason for all her tears, past and present.
Where you and I will breathe together
Once again we'll be dancin in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me (you'll be smilin back at me)
Only then will I be free
Then I will be free, so take me where you are
"Great party huh?" Max asked as he sat down next to her, ignoring the way she suddenly stiffened, and swiped at the tears pooling down her cheeks.
"Yeah, thank you. My mom told me it was your idea." Liz looked up at him, her eyes bright from the tears. He swallowed down the feeling her smile stirred in him, "Anything for my Lizzie."
He caught the flash of pain in her eyes, but it disappeared quickly, making him wonder if he was seeing things.
"So how was your reunion?" She asked quietly.
"It was good, I got to meet a lot of family I didn't even know existed. Lots of second and third cousins." He started to ask her about why she was crying, but caught the look in her eyes, and he knew not to say anything. They could always read each other so well. Looking over to where he saw their friends dancing, he noticed the longing in her eyes, and thought that the same longing was probably in his.
He stood up and walked to stand in front of her, to ask her to dance. Just like they used to, but was interrupted by a masculine voice that held a British accent.
"Milady, care to dance?" Max looked up to see the same guy who had carried Liz through the doors, and once again anger flushed through him.
Now baby there are times when selfishly
I wishin that you were here with me
So I can wipe the tears from your eyes and make you see
That every night when you are dreamin
I'm here to guard you from afar
And anytime I feel in love
I'll close my eyes and dream of where you are
Where you are
Max looked over at Liz, and he felt something in himself drop at the smile that graced her lips, gone was the sorrow from her eyes as she laughed with the mystery boy. Liz noticed his discomfort and decided to introduce to the two.
"Max, this is Sean Williams. Sean, Max Evans." She introduced, gesturing at the two.
The two just continued to look at one another as electricity crackled in the air. Liz laughed nervously before nudging Max, who looked at her quickly. She nodded her head at Sean and gave him a pointed look. Max held his hand out to Sean, and the other boy took it, both of them squeezing each other's hand tightly. They shook hands for a while, grips tightening as eyes sent hidden messages to one another. Liz laughed nervously again before pulling, rather prying their hands away from one another. Sean smiled again, and turned to Liz, "About that dance?"
Liz nodded and gave Max a quick peck on the cheek before joining Sean on the dance floor. Max stood there, suddenly feeling empty, and some other strange emotions upon seeing Sean hold onto Liz tightly. Was that jealousy? It couldn't be. Max shook his head at the silliness of the thought, not once did he realize that he had shattered the glass in his hand, or the small imprint he had left in the wall. Jealous? No, he wasn't jealous.
Looking over again, he couldn't help but see how beautiful Liz looked, his little Liz all grown up, meeting other boys. The last part was little desired as he watched Sean move his hand lower. Suddenly he noted that his jaw hurt and was surprised to see that he had been clenching it shut.
Nope, not jealous.
Right.
Where you and I will breathe together
Once again we'll be dancin in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me (you'll be smilin back at me)
Only then will I be free
Then I will be free,
Baby I still believe
Oh I gotta believe
I still believe
I will touch you that sweet day
As she danced with Sean, flashes and images over another time came to her mind. She was being held in different arms, and another masculine smell reached her nose. She remembered feeling safe…loved. "Beth?"
Her eyes snapped open guiltily. Here she was dancing with an amazing guy and imagining that it was someone else. She smiled up at him and he smiled at her. She rested her head against him, and in her mind she saw amber eyes filled with hurt as she walked away from him. The thought startled her, and she opened her eyes, to look around discreetly.
That you take me there
Where you are (where you are)
I still believe
Whoooooa, I gotta believe
I still believe
I will touch you that sweet day
He watched with a myriad of emotions as she rested her head on Sean's chest, and his own chest tightened. It was so hard seeing your little sister grow up. At least that's how he explained these feelings. He ignored the other part of him that whispered how he hadn't been like this with Isabel.
"Hey handsome." Max looked over to find himself looking into blue gray eyes.
"Vicky." His eyes trailed lower, and he made himself forget about Liz. About the way his heart was screaming how this was wrong. Just like every other time he had done this.
That you take me there
Where you are, oh where you are!
I still believe
I gotta believe
I still believe
I'll always be waiting here
That sweet day (that sweet day, yeah!)
Liz looked up when she heard the chimes of the bells above the door, to see Max holding the door open to one of Pam's friends, Vicky. Her breath caught in her throat as his eyes suddenly met hers, and she felt something in her shatter as disappointment washed over her. He tore his eyes away from hers and walked away, never looking back.
Liz turned back to Sean, laying her head down as one lone tear trekked down her cheeks.
I still believe......I still believe....
**Where You Are, Jessica Simpson**
tbc(???)
Tell me what you think!