The Diary of Haldir:
Day One:
Um… hello! My name is Haldir. I am a Lorien elf and I am the best freaking guardian you'll ever see! I have long blonde hair, piercing blue-ish gray eyes, and a deadly weapon! My bow and arrows of course! Somebody gave me this book to write about my experiences, so here I go…
It all started one day, a couple thousand years ago when I was frockling around in the woods, like the elves do. When I stumbled upon a trespasser. I jumped on him and tied him up. I then proceeded to bring the intruder to Lady Galadriel… wait… uuuuh…… OH!!!!!!!!!!! I get it now!!!! I'm supposed to tell you what happens when we're on the island???! Oooooooooooh!!! Why didn't anybody tell me? What? How was I supposed to know? I thought they told me to tell the stories… wait… okay I guess I wasn't listening. Let me start over…
My name is Haldir and I'm stuck on an island. There are more elves with me. Elrond, Arwen, Galadriel, Celeborn, and Legolas. That makes 6 of us elves on an island. No food, no water, no weapons! Okay, this is too hard, I gotta ask Lady Galadriel how to write in this thing…
Day Five:
Hey! Guess what? I finally figured out how to write in here! I tried asking Galadriel, but she kept on walking back and forth, almost like she was pacing or something… so I had to ask Lord Celeborn. He told me everything. Although I haven't seen him writing in his yet. Well, to tell you the truth, I really don't feel like telling all you guys what's happening out here. Who cares anyway? But if I must, I will tell you what I've been doing for the pats five days. I went looking for food. Found a coconut. I told Elrond there were a lot. He didn't believe me. I was eyeing him the other day… I think I freaked him out… hahahaha! King-y dude. Well, I'm gonna go now. Bye!
Day Twelve:
Hiya! (Karate! Hello! Get it? Aww. Nevermind.) The ladies have been fighting. I don't really care, so I didn't listen. Legolas is the wood finder. I go look for good. All I can find is coconuts. I'm really bored at this place… I need to do something. I wanna play a practical joke on somebody… but who's going to fall for it? Elrond probably wouldn't. I won't mess with Galadriel and Celeborn, they can fire me. Uh, Arwen may cry… LEGOLAS! Yes! Everybody loves that elf too much. It'd be good to see him scared and whimpering… what can I do? Hm…
Day Nineteen:
Moo-ha! Scared Legolas! I found some old coconuts and make a "woo" sound into them. He jumped up like a kitten and yelled! Ahaha! I did that a couple nights ago, Legolas finally figured out it was me. Slow elf… I was told to go fishing. So I made some kind of fishing pole, and caught a boot. It's pretty pathetic. I hope to get better Uh, more stuff happened today. And the other days. And I'm sure more stuff will happen tomorrow too. But you know what whoever is reading this? Read somebody else's diary. I wanna go scare Legolas some more!
Day Twenty Eight:
Wow, I totally forgot about my diary. I lost it for a week. It was under my coconut shells. Speaking of coconuts, Elrond and his stupid coconut god. "All hail Co Co." No! He can get a little weird at times when he's not around civilization… Oh! Hahahaha! Get a load of this… Arwen had these pictures of Aragorn, and Legolas shot them alllllll down!!! Haha! Stupid Arwen. Oh, and I broke Celeborn's coconut smasher. He broke my bloody fishing pole. Oh well, who cares right? Well, we get off in 2 days, so I'm gonna stop writing in this thing. Goodbye.