PLEASE READ. I posted this chapter and the previous chapter together. So make sure to read chapter 8 too! Chapter 9 will make more sense. Chapter 9 is shorter, but really pivotal to the story. Enjoy!
I do not own ATLA or any of the characters from it. Some of the dialogue in the last chapter and this chapter are from the show. You'll probably recognize it when you read it.
The sweet aroma of the jasmine tea Uncle was making filled Zuko's nose. He hadn't had his uncle's tea in so long. Too long. The smell took him back to when they lived in Ba Sing Se together. That time felt like so long ago.
The chatter of the crowd of customers downstairs sounded muddled through the floor. Zuko was sitting at a table in the space upstairs above the shop. Iroh came over with a tray of tea and joined him. They sipped their tea together in silence for a while. It was nice to be away from the Fire Nation. His uncle had warned him that soon, Zuko wouldn't be able to travel himself much and would have to send ambassadors to the other nations in his place. He'd been traveling for so many years that the idea of being stuck in the Fire Nation was very unappealing. But at least he was here in Ba Sing Se now. He could enjoy it while it lasted. The change of culture and climate was refreshing. And, he wasn't here on a business trip which meant no one had to treat him like the Fire Lord. That was also refreshing.
Zuko turned at the sound of feet stomping up the stairs. Toph, Suki, Sokka, Katara and Aang all reached the upstairs room. Zuko stood up, his eyes quickly locking on Katara as Iroh walked over to greet them all. He felt like he hadn't seen her in so long. It had been since the night in the palace when she'd last healed him, which was about three days ago now. It was almost a relief to be here with her now.
"Wow, Iroh. Your tea shop seems to be even more popular than it was before!" said Toph.
"No surprise there," added Suki.
Iroh smiled. "You are too kind," he said modestly, offering them all a cup of Jasmine Tea.
"I get the name now!" exclaimed Sokka, his finger pointed in the air. "'Jasmine' because 'jasmine tea' and 'dragon' because you're the 'dragon of the west'! It makes so much sense! Very clever, Iroh. Very clever. I'm impressed." Everyone chuckled and Suki kissed him on the cheek.
Zuko was still looking at Katara. Her hair fell freely to her waist and a flower was pinned in the back. She was wearing a long, slender green dress, with her mother's blue necklace shining proudly on her neck. She looked nervous, and Zuko wondered if that had anything to do with him. Based on the fact that she seemed to be avoiding making eye contact with him, that seemed to be the case.
A soft hand slipped into Zuko's, breaking him out of his stare. He turned to see Mai, who had returned from the back room. She was smiling at him. For what seemed like the millioneth time, Zuko forced his face to smile back at her. He had started to feel guilty for doing that.
A loud gasp broke everyone's conversations. Zuko turned to see Sokka rushing over to a desk in a corner of the room that had some paper and ink on it.
"What are you doing, Sokka?" Aang asked. Sokka just plopped onto the chair and shushed him. The group sat down and began talking, enjoying being together. After a while, things calmed down. Toph put her feet up on the table, lounging in her chair. Aang started playing with Momo while Katara, Suki and Mai talked together. Something must have happened between Suki and Mai because they seemed a lot friendlier with each other than they had at the celebration a few days ago. Zuko tried not to wonder what they were all talking about. Iroh brought out his tsungi horn and began playing a soft calm melody that matched the mood of the room. Even though Zuko still felt anxious with Katara here, he did enjoy the peace of relaxing with everyone away from the craziness of everything else. It was so much more enjoyable to him to celebrate the end of the war this way as opposed to a giant party. Sokka still had not left the desk.
Zuko decided it was time for another round of tea and got up to put the tray together. He was handing a cup to Katara, trying to catch her eye when Sokka yelled.
"Zuko, stop moving. I am trying to capture the moment!" Everyone's heads turned to him in confusion. "I wanted to do a painting, so we'd always remember the good times together."
Katara walked over to him to examine his work. "That's very thoughtful of you, Sokka. Wait, why did you give me Momo's ears?" Katara asked in an accusatory voice, pointing to a spot on the painting.
"Those are your hair loopies!" Sokka replied defensively.
Everyone else, including Zuko walked over to look at the painting. Zuko saw a figure that vaguely resembled him. "At least you don't look like a porcupine," he teased. "My hair is not that spiky!"
"I look like a man," pointed out Mai.
"And why did you paint me fire bending?" Suki asked.
Sokka just shrugged as if the answer was simple. "I thought it looked more exciting that way." Momo chose this moment to hop onto the desk. "Oh, you think you can do a better job, Momo?"
Zuko looked up to see Aang walking out onto the balcony. Katara watched him disappear behind the balcony doors.
"Hey, my belly's not that big anymore. I really trimmed down."
"Well, I think you all look perfect!" Toph exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. Everyone laughed. Katara walked to follow Aang out the doors to the balcony. Zuko watched her go, wondering what they were going to do. Or what they were going to talk about. He could still partially see both of them through the sliver between the doors. He tried not to make it obvious to the rest of the group that he was watching Katara and Aang.
Zuko walked back to sit with his Uncle at the table and when he looked back through the doors, Katara and Aang had their arms wrapped around each other, hugging tightly. They seemed to be sharing a moment. He kept his eyes on them, watching to see what else would happen. The time back on Ember Island when he'd eavesdropped on them flew to his mind. It seemed he hadn't changed much.
Zuko thought of everything those two must have been through together in the last year. There was no doubt they had a deep relationship. Katara was one of the few people Aang had known the whole time he'd been out of the ice. In fact, thought Zuko, she may have even been the first person he met.
Thoughts Zuko had had while flying with Katara on Appa right before they fought Azula came back to him. Those two fit. It made sense. It felt like the right outcome. Zuko bowed his head low at that. Maybe he shouldn't be interfering in this.
But then he remembered that Katara had kissed him. He had to talk to her.
After another moment, he chanced another peek through the crack just in time to see Katara lean forward and kiss Aang, wrapping her arms around him as she did so. Aang responded by holding her back tightly, leaning into the kiss. The sun was setting now, outlining them in a warm orange glow.
Zuko tore his eyes away, trying to bury the anger that had quickly risen inside him. He just didn't understand Katara. In some ways, he knew her well. Knew what made her tick. Knew what she liked and didn't like. He even felt like he'd sort of known she wouldn't kill Yon Rha even before they'd found him. But when it came to Aang, he just didn't get her. Maybe she really liked him. But why did that seem so unlikely though?
The happy mood in the room didn't fit how he was feeling, so he stood and walked to a bookshelf along a wall farther from everyone else. Zuko was still pretending to look for a book when Aang came in.
He waited for Aang to settle back down next to Momo before he started for the balcony. He didn't look to see if Mai, or anyone else, noticed him walking out to talk to Katara.
She was standing next to Appa, who was lying down and looked like he was almost asleep. Katara turned when she saw him, continuing to stoke Aapa's fur. Zuko shut the doors to the room behind him loudly.
"Zuko," she said in a startled voice. After noticing his expression, she softly added, "What's wrong?" Her hand had frozen on Appa's fur.
"So, you're just going to be with him now? Did you ever plan on talking with me? Maybe explaining what the hell's been going on?"
Katara spoke softly still. "Zuko, please I—"
"I mean honestly. I don't understand. I feel like you just keep—"
"Zuko," she said forcefully. Her arms were folded, and he could see that she was starting to get angry too. Her voice was rough when she spoke. "Stop. I don't need to explain myself to you. Especially when you never bothered to explain your situation to me. I love Aang."
"Yes, but you kissed me."
Katara's voice got louder. "Well, maybe I wouldn't have if you'd bothered to tell me you had a girlfriend. What? Did that just seem unimportant? And wait a second. Were you spying on us?"
"Katara—"
"Zuko, just stop," she said, raising her hand in the air and walking towards the door.
"No. Listen to me!" He was basically yelling now. Zuko glanced at the doors he had shut tightly, wondering if anyone inside could hear them. He could still hear the melody of his uncle's tsungi horn. Katara had stopped walking at his yell but didn't turn around. Zuko grabbed her wrist to try get her to face him. She forcefully ripped her hand out of his grip, rounding on him.
"Don't touch me," she snarled.
Zuko walked closer to her. "You can't act like I was the only one who wasn't totally transparent. Who kisses someone, and then doesn't ever talk to them about it?"
"I was confused!" she whisper-yelled. Zuko scoffed. "I told you I wasn't sure why I did it."
"And I told you I was glad that you did! There was no reason for you to have been confused about how I felt. But you still kept running away."
She started talking over his last few words. "I don't mean I was confused about how you felt! I was confused because of Aang."
"You really have feelings for him?" he asked, his tone suggesting he didn't actually believe that.
She scoffed as if that were a stupid question. "Yes."
"And what, you...you just never had feelings for me?" Zuko felt brave asking such a straight-forward question.
"Of course, I did Zuko. That's a stupid question. But now I know I was just getting caught up in a rush. We'd spent so much time together in such a short window. I thought I felt some sort of…connection, I guess."
Zuko grabbed her hand again, this time gently. She didn't pull hers away. "I felt it too." He didn't want to fight with her. He wanted her to stay. He could see in her eyes that she was considering it, but she also had another look he'd come to know well. The look that told him she was about to run.
She slid her hand out of his and turned around to face the doors. She sounded bitter and angry again. "Well, I'm sorry. Maybe it was there, maybe it wasn't. I think we were both just fooling ourselves. And besides, if you really had felt something, you would've bothered to mention Mai, which you didn't."
"It's not like you explained what was going on with Aang! And it's not like Mai was some big secret" he said defensively, his voice angry again. "Sokka knew about her!"
"Ahh, yes. Sokka knew about her, so everything's okay now," she said sarcastically, her voice getting high.
"You never talked to me Katara! You kissed me and then never talked about it!" Katara had folded her arms again, her eyes rolling. "And besides. I'd completely forgotten about Mai. I don't care for her the same way—"
Katara actually laughed. "Well we both know that's not true. If you didn't feel anything for her, you would've broken up with her by now. There's been plenty of time to do that, but you haven't."
Zuko looked down. "It's not that simple."
Katara scoffed again. "Whatever, Zuko."
They stood for a moment on the balcony, not saying anything. Zuko's head was still bowed. The sun was barely peeking above the horizon now. It would be totally dark soon. A few stars were already shining. Zuko was losing hope. Katara was slipping away, and he didn't know how to stop it. She seemed to notice his change in mood. He wasn't angry anymore, just desperate. And maybe a little sad. But he was trying not to let that show.
Katara walked to the railing, putting her elbows on the banister. "Look, maybe it would've worked. In some other life, or some other time. But, we're both on different trajectories now. I mean, you're the Fire Lord. And I've been with Aang for so long. I can't leave him now. He needs somebody with him. And I...I love him too much." She smiled, looking out at the city below them. The outside wall was visible in the far distance.
"Is that why you're with him? Because you feel like you need to be?"
"No," Katara said quickly and forcefully. "I really do love him. Believe me when I say that."
Spirits. Did she really have to keep twisting the knife? Zuko stood next to her, leaning his elbows on the railing too. Both were looking out at the view. Katara continued. "It's like the tide. It can't be changed or made to do something else. It just follows its course. We can't force this, Zuko. It's just not meant to be."
"No. If there's anything I've learned, it's that we can shape our own destiny. You should know that too. The tides can be changed."
Katara closed her eyes and shook her head. Zuko looked at the side of her face, desperation showing on his own. The moon had come out and cast a pale, beautiful light on her tan skin. He couldn't believe this was happening. After a while, Zuko spoke.
"So, what does this mean? Are you leaving right after you are done here?"
"I talked with Aang. He wants to visit all of the air temples again."
"Why? Don't you want to go home?"
Katara shrugged as she stood up again, wrapping her arms around herself. "I…I want to be with Aang," she stammered.
"And Aang doesn't want to take a stop at the South Pole?"
She looked like she didn't know what to say. "I haven't mentioned it."
That was ridiculous. Zuko shook his head. This was not how things were supposed to happen. None of this felt right. But he also felt helpless. What could he do?
"When will we see each other again?"
Katara shrugged. "I'm not sure." Despite her anger from before, Zuko thought he heard a hint of sadness in her voice. He had trouble feeling bad for her though. She was the one making this decision.
Another silence fell and Zuko realized the sound of the tsungi horn had stopped. He turned to the doors and saw they were still shut tight. Suddenly, a burst of laughter from everyone inside filled the air. It sounded like they were playing a game.
Katara spoke so softly Zuko almost didn't hear her. "I'm sorry, Zuko."
Zuko looked at her, staring into her blue eyes. His lips were thin, no trace of a smile. "I'm sorry too."
Katara's eyebrows furrowed and her chin quivered. She brought her hand to her mouth, closing her eyes. She was clearly fighting back tears.
Zuko gripped the door handle, pulling it forcefully open as he stepped into the room. His uncle was sitting alone at a pai sho table, so Zuko walked to join him, all thoughts and worries for Katara gone.
A/N Please don't hate me for this chapter lol. I know I was super mean to them. But I don't think Katara would jump into Zuko's arms without giving Aang a chance. I think Aang really is her best friend. If Zutara's gonna happen, this is how I feel it's gotta play out if you're gonna stay true to the characters. And I PROMISE, this story will have the ending we all crave . And soon. Please, please please review! I love reading them and want to know what you guys think of all of this! Thanks again for reading!