* * *
Logan was later pacing up and down the hallway, occassionally popping his claws in and out in extreme agitation. Just how in the world was he going to get rid of a ghost? Especially such a clueless one as Steve?
Suddenly, the answer came to him. He ran over to the phone and dialed.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Kurt."
"Oh! Greetings, Logan. It has been a long time since..."
"Yer a priest, ain't ya?"
Pause. "Er..yes. I became a man of the cloth so that I could live a life of peace und..."
"Yeah, yeah. That means you can do exorcisms, right?"
No response.
"Well, can't ya?!"
"This is a joke, yes?"
"Do I sound like I'm laughin', Elf?"
"Er...no."
"Now can ya do an exorcism or not?!!"
"I can try..."
"Great! Pack yer bag and I'll pick ya up in the Blackbird."
"But Logan, I...."
"Bye Kurt!"
"But...!!!"
Click.
* * *
LATER THAT DAY...
Logan had taken off out of the mansion after bringing Kurt there. As Kurt wandered around the empty building, he came to the sad conclusion that everyone else had left as well. Then he found Bobby.
"They left YOU here to be my assisstant?!" Kurt asked with a hint of fear in his voice.
"Yep."
"This is obviously a divine test of my vill and patience. I pray that I vill prevail."
"You don't have to be so melodramatic," Bobby replied, sounding hurt.
"Let us prepare, then."
LATER...
"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Fuzzy?"
"Yes. I saw the Exorcist - twice."
"Hey! That sounded like something I would say!"
"Perish the thought," Kurt muttered under his breath.
"What did you say?"
"I said, please bring me some tap vater, Bobby."
"Tap water? But I thought the Exorcist used Holy Water."
Sigh. "Once I bless it, it vill be holy."
"Oh."
Bobby went over to the kitchen sink and turned the tap. Nothing came out.
"Oops...I forgot."
"Forgot vat?"
"The water's been turned off until the plumbing gets fixed."
"Und how long vill this take?"
"Well, Jubes was doing laundry and got really mad when the washing machine tore up her favorite shirt, so she blew it up. She took a good number of pipes with it, too."
"I see. Do you have any bottled vater, then?"
"Er...yes and no," Bobby replied sheepishly.
"Yes and no? Vat does that mean?"
"Well...you see...we DID have bottled water....but I froze it as a joke and, well, it hasn't defrosted yet...heh heh."
Big sigh. "Alright, then. Is there any in the fridge?"
Bobby looked in the fridge. "Um, no...but there IS some mango juice!"
Big, long sigh. "Hand it over."
LATER...
"Und vith this Holy Water, I vill banish the evil spirit that...."
Bobby nudged Kurt.
"Vat?!"
"Mango juice," he whispered.
Big, long, exasperated sigh. "Fine. Und vith this Holy Mango Juice, " he shot Bobby a dirty look, "I vill banish the evil spirit that dwells vithin this mansion. Go now! Begone!"
Kurt sprinkled the juice around the living room.
"Jean's gonna throw a fit when she sees those stains on the carpet."
"YOU'RE the one who suggested that ve use the juice!" Kurt replied, exasperated. He set the juice container on the coffee table.
Just then, Steve walked in.
"Cool! Mango juice! I'm thirsty!" he exclaimed, and tried to drink out of the pitcher. But since he was a ghost, it poured right through him and splashed allover the floor.
"Oops! Here, let me clean that up!" Steve said. Then he pulled a green striped handkerchief out of his pocket and attempted to sop up the mess.
"Mein Gott! There really IS a ghost!!!"
"Yep! And we can blame the juice stains on him!" Bobby added happily.
"Hey!!" Steve cried out excitedly. "This juice stain is in the shape of a pawprint! It must be a clue! What do we do when we find a clue?"
He paused to listen to the imaginary kids.
"Right! We write the clue down in our notebook!"
Steve checked his pockets. "Hmmm...I don't have our notebook! It must be in Sidetable Drawer! Let's go see!"
He happily trotted over to a very normal, not-out-of-the-ordinary piece of Prof X's furniture.
"Hey, Sidetable! Can we have our notebook?"
The very normal sidetable didn't respond.
"Er...pretty please?"
Still no response.
"Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?!"
Kurt and Bobby stared in disbelief while Steve continued to accost the defenseless piece of furniture.
"Just great. My very first exorcism und I ended up vith an insane spirit."
Bobby shrugged his shoulders. "It could be worse."
"How?!!"
"Well..." Bobby began, then stopped. "Er...I'll get back to you on that one."
Steve gave up on the sidetable and addressed the two X-persons.
"Hello! I'm Steve! Do either of you have a notebook I can borrow? I think Sidetable Drawer is mad at me."
Blink. Blink. Blink.
"Er...don't you know you're a ghost?" Bobby asked.
"Oh no, I'm not a ghost. I'm Steve!" he replied cheerily.
"Er...no, you're definately a ghost."
"No, I'm definately Steve."
"Logan killed you! You are a ghost!!!"
"I don't understand..."
"LOOK!" Bobby cried exasperatedly and swept a hand through the phantom figure.
Steve looked down, blinked, then looked at Bobby again. "Cool! How did you do that? Are you a ghost?!" he asked excitedly.
"ARRRGGGHHH!"
"Why do you people always do that when I'm around?"
"Do vhat, mein fruend?"
"Scream in frustration. Do you know what to do when you're frustrated?"
He turned to listen to the imaginary kids again.
"Er...und just who are you speaking vith?"
"Oh! These are my friends!" Steve replied, indicating thin air.
"Ah...yes. Alright. Now, about zis ghost thing..."
"Take a deep breath!"
".....? I beg your pardon?" Kurt asked, confused.
"When you're frustrated, you need to take a deep breath, calm down, and think!"
"But I am not frustrated!"
"You will be," Bobby muttered.
"Steve, mein fruend, you are a lost spirit who must be shown the way..."
"Yes! I AM lost!" Steve cried, ecstatic that someone had finally acknowledged his plight. "I keep trying to skeedoo home, but everytime I try, I just pass through the picture! Can one of you lend me some change for the bus?"
Kurt and Bobby looked at each other.
"I do not think he understands," Kurt commented.
"Oh, really?" Bobby replied sarcastically.
They spent another twenty minutes trying to explain to Steve that he had in fact been killed and was now a ghost. By the end of those twenty minutes, Bobby has developed a nervous eye-twitch and Kurt was ready to start plucking out his fur.
"You. Are. Dead. Logan. Stabbed. You. You. Are. A. Ghost." said Bobby, very very slowly and carefully so as not to confuse the striped character any further.
"I'm a ghost?" Steve asked. Something flickered in the man's eyes. Maybe he finally comprehended the situation. Bobby crossed his fingers and hoped that was the case.
Pause. Pause. Pause. "COOL!!!" cried Steve, He started walking in and out of the wall. "Now you see me, now you don't! Now you see me, now you don't!"
Bobby yawned. "Yeah, yeah, it's been done before," he said.
"He hasn't met Kitty yet, has he?" Kurt asked Bobby.
"Obviously not."
* * *
Okay, I think I'll leave it here (just because I have no idea what to write). I apologize for Kurt's accent (and the spelling) and honestly, I am NOT trying to make fun of the German language or German accents. In fact, if I've spelled the words incorrectly (and I know I have), or overzealously used too many 'z' s, LET ME KNOW and I'll correct it! I've never actually read a comic book with Nightcrawler in it. All my knowledge of him spans from the one X-Men cartoon episode that he was in. Anyways, also let me know if you want to keep this up! Thanks! (and thanks to those who have reviewed thus far!)
Logan was later pacing up and down the hallway, occassionally popping his claws in and out in extreme agitation. Just how in the world was he going to get rid of a ghost? Especially such a clueless one as Steve?
Suddenly, the answer came to him. He ran over to the phone and dialed.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Kurt."
"Oh! Greetings, Logan. It has been a long time since..."
"Yer a priest, ain't ya?"
Pause. "Er..yes. I became a man of the cloth so that I could live a life of peace und..."
"Yeah, yeah. That means you can do exorcisms, right?"
No response.
"Well, can't ya?!"
"This is a joke, yes?"
"Do I sound like I'm laughin', Elf?"
"Er...no."
"Now can ya do an exorcism or not?!!"
"I can try..."
"Great! Pack yer bag and I'll pick ya up in the Blackbird."
"But Logan, I...."
"Bye Kurt!"
"But...!!!"
Click.
* * *
LATER THAT DAY...
Logan had taken off out of the mansion after bringing Kurt there. As Kurt wandered around the empty building, he came to the sad conclusion that everyone else had left as well. Then he found Bobby.
"They left YOU here to be my assisstant?!" Kurt asked with a hint of fear in his voice.
"Yep."
"This is obviously a divine test of my vill and patience. I pray that I vill prevail."
"You don't have to be so melodramatic," Bobby replied, sounding hurt.
"Let us prepare, then."
LATER...
"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Fuzzy?"
"Yes. I saw the Exorcist - twice."
"Hey! That sounded like something I would say!"
"Perish the thought," Kurt muttered under his breath.
"What did you say?"
"I said, please bring me some tap vater, Bobby."
"Tap water? But I thought the Exorcist used Holy Water."
Sigh. "Once I bless it, it vill be holy."
"Oh."
Bobby went over to the kitchen sink and turned the tap. Nothing came out.
"Oops...I forgot."
"Forgot vat?"
"The water's been turned off until the plumbing gets fixed."
"Und how long vill this take?"
"Well, Jubes was doing laundry and got really mad when the washing machine tore up her favorite shirt, so she blew it up. She took a good number of pipes with it, too."
"I see. Do you have any bottled vater, then?"
"Er...yes and no," Bobby replied sheepishly.
"Yes and no? Vat does that mean?"
"Well...you see...we DID have bottled water....but I froze it as a joke and, well, it hasn't defrosted yet...heh heh."
Big sigh. "Alright, then. Is there any in the fridge?"
Bobby looked in the fridge. "Um, no...but there IS some mango juice!"
Big, long sigh. "Hand it over."
LATER...
"Und vith this Holy Water, I vill banish the evil spirit that...."
Bobby nudged Kurt.
"Vat?!"
"Mango juice," he whispered.
Big, long, exasperated sigh. "Fine. Und vith this Holy Mango Juice, " he shot Bobby a dirty look, "I vill banish the evil spirit that dwells vithin this mansion. Go now! Begone!"
Kurt sprinkled the juice around the living room.
"Jean's gonna throw a fit when she sees those stains on the carpet."
"YOU'RE the one who suggested that ve use the juice!" Kurt replied, exasperated. He set the juice container on the coffee table.
Just then, Steve walked in.
"Cool! Mango juice! I'm thirsty!" he exclaimed, and tried to drink out of the pitcher. But since he was a ghost, it poured right through him and splashed allover the floor.
"Oops! Here, let me clean that up!" Steve said. Then he pulled a green striped handkerchief out of his pocket and attempted to sop up the mess.
"Mein Gott! There really IS a ghost!!!"
"Yep! And we can blame the juice stains on him!" Bobby added happily.
"Hey!!" Steve cried out excitedly. "This juice stain is in the shape of a pawprint! It must be a clue! What do we do when we find a clue?"
He paused to listen to the imaginary kids.
"Right! We write the clue down in our notebook!"
Steve checked his pockets. "Hmmm...I don't have our notebook! It must be in Sidetable Drawer! Let's go see!"
He happily trotted over to a very normal, not-out-of-the-ordinary piece of Prof X's furniture.
"Hey, Sidetable! Can we have our notebook?"
The very normal sidetable didn't respond.
"Er...pretty please?"
Still no response.
"Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?!"
Kurt and Bobby stared in disbelief while Steve continued to accost the defenseless piece of furniture.
"Just great. My very first exorcism und I ended up vith an insane spirit."
Bobby shrugged his shoulders. "It could be worse."
"How?!!"
"Well..." Bobby began, then stopped. "Er...I'll get back to you on that one."
Steve gave up on the sidetable and addressed the two X-persons.
"Hello! I'm Steve! Do either of you have a notebook I can borrow? I think Sidetable Drawer is mad at me."
Blink. Blink. Blink.
"Er...don't you know you're a ghost?" Bobby asked.
"Oh no, I'm not a ghost. I'm Steve!" he replied cheerily.
"Er...no, you're definately a ghost."
"No, I'm definately Steve."
"Logan killed you! You are a ghost!!!"
"I don't understand..."
"LOOK!" Bobby cried exasperatedly and swept a hand through the phantom figure.
Steve looked down, blinked, then looked at Bobby again. "Cool! How did you do that? Are you a ghost?!" he asked excitedly.
"ARRRGGGHHH!"
"Why do you people always do that when I'm around?"
"Do vhat, mein fruend?"
"Scream in frustration. Do you know what to do when you're frustrated?"
He turned to listen to the imaginary kids again.
"Er...und just who are you speaking vith?"
"Oh! These are my friends!" Steve replied, indicating thin air.
"Ah...yes. Alright. Now, about zis ghost thing..."
"Take a deep breath!"
".....? I beg your pardon?" Kurt asked, confused.
"When you're frustrated, you need to take a deep breath, calm down, and think!"
"But I am not frustrated!"
"You will be," Bobby muttered.
"Steve, mein fruend, you are a lost spirit who must be shown the way..."
"Yes! I AM lost!" Steve cried, ecstatic that someone had finally acknowledged his plight. "I keep trying to skeedoo home, but everytime I try, I just pass through the picture! Can one of you lend me some change for the bus?"
Kurt and Bobby looked at each other.
"I do not think he understands," Kurt commented.
"Oh, really?" Bobby replied sarcastically.
They spent another twenty minutes trying to explain to Steve that he had in fact been killed and was now a ghost. By the end of those twenty minutes, Bobby has developed a nervous eye-twitch and Kurt was ready to start plucking out his fur.
"You. Are. Dead. Logan. Stabbed. You. You. Are. A. Ghost." said Bobby, very very slowly and carefully so as not to confuse the striped character any further.
"I'm a ghost?" Steve asked. Something flickered in the man's eyes. Maybe he finally comprehended the situation. Bobby crossed his fingers and hoped that was the case.
Pause. Pause. Pause. "COOL!!!" cried Steve, He started walking in and out of the wall. "Now you see me, now you don't! Now you see me, now you don't!"
Bobby yawned. "Yeah, yeah, it's been done before," he said.
"He hasn't met Kitty yet, has he?" Kurt asked Bobby.
"Obviously not."
* * *
Okay, I think I'll leave it here (just because I have no idea what to write). I apologize for Kurt's accent (and the spelling) and honestly, I am NOT trying to make fun of the German language or German accents. In fact, if I've spelled the words incorrectly (and I know I have), or overzealously used too many 'z' s, LET ME KNOW and I'll correct it! I've never actually read a comic book with Nightcrawler in it. All my knowledge of him spans from the one X-Men cartoon episode that he was in. Anyways, also let me know if you want to keep this up! Thanks! (and thanks to those who have reviewed thus far!)