Chpt. 3: reset
Wooh, chpt 3 now. heh, and I first I just thought it was gonna be a short, one chapter story.. Not really physical stuff(excluding the memory in chtp. 2) but mental.. Night__FLame seems to be loosin' it, ne?
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.reset.
something I don't understand anymore
Am I who I once thought I was? Is this fate truly mine? Or am I deceived... All a game in my mind.. I still see it, the blood, the memory, but... I'm emotionless. They had the chance... Why didn't they take it? Why am I blaming myself for it... I can't understand it anymore.. I even feel the memory beginning to fade. Am I losing myself? But then I think.. No, it can't be my fault. They're the ones that didn't run. They're the ones that didn't fight back. They just stayed there..and let it happen.. I couldn't have been expected to stop it... But.. What about my fate? Aren't I supposed to be the loner? All these years I've thought so, but now the thought changes. Corrupted with doubt, thoughts form in my head. It would've happened anyway.. Even if I was there.. I can't change the past, so why worry? A smirk forms on my face. It's their fault, not my own. They couldn't avoid the danger, they faced it like idiots, and paid the price for it. But... I could've stopped it... Why didn't I? I just hid there... And now they're gone.. Forever... FlamePaw... Mom... Dad.. But, it wasn't me. I wasn't the reason it came to the field. I didn't even know what it was then..
It's not my fault, it can't be. I feel the memory fade more. I'll just reset my past.. Let the memory disappear, start something new, let it begin again. It's not my fault, it never was. I was wrong to think so.. They're the reason they're gone. They're the ones that caused me pain. If they hadn't have left then I wouldn't feel this. I wouldn't be in this situation. It's them, not me.. Can't be me.. It's not, I'm innocent.. I don't care what they think anymore, I've gone this long with the hardness of that burden, and I need a change. If I reset my memory I can start again, life is different than what I thought. Things aren't this bad, they can't be. I know they aren't... I smirk and look at my paws, blood again in my memory. But I laugh this time, I don't care about the blood. It's not my own, and it's their own fault they're gone. Not my own. It never was my fault.. The memory fades more.. Only flashes of it now.. They flicker in my mind, no emotion. It's resetting already, soon I'm starting over.. Life's gonna turn in my favor.. I just know it will..
The next morning I wake up from my makeshift home. I look at my paw, only the blood on my paw remains clear. Flashes, streaks, and blurry images. I can't make it out, I don't remember what happened.
"It's resetting.."
I say to myself, and smirk again. Then I laugh, a bit insanely some might say. I don't care, it's not their problem. They should stay out.. Leave it alone. They couldn't handle it anyway.. And they're not the ones that had to reset their memory.. I did.. Otherwise I'd still believe that fate... It's false. It is my choice.. I don't have to be alone.. But.. I think I'll stay that way, they can't understand me. No, they can't ever. My mind is a puzzle... They can't solve it. No one can, my thoughts are too complex. I grin, laughing again. My memory of it is almost gone.. Just that one image.. I'm resetting, no going back now. Finally a peaceful life... What I've always wanted. I can move on to other things.. Maybe even become a warrior. And I smile at this, a small tear of joy running down my cheek. I look at my paw, only the wet feeling.. It's fading, almost gone. Life's gonna get better. Only the coldness... It's fading.. A faint tingle... And it's gone. I've reset my memory.
Wooh, chpt 3 now. heh, and I first I just thought it was gonna be a short, one chapter story.. Not really physical stuff(excluding the memory in chtp. 2) but mental.. Night__FLame seems to be loosin' it, ne?
------------
.reset.
something I don't understand anymore
Am I who I once thought I was? Is this fate truly mine? Or am I deceived... All a game in my mind.. I still see it, the blood, the memory, but... I'm emotionless. They had the chance... Why didn't they take it? Why am I blaming myself for it... I can't understand it anymore.. I even feel the memory beginning to fade. Am I losing myself? But then I think.. No, it can't be my fault. They're the ones that didn't run. They're the ones that didn't fight back. They just stayed there..and let it happen.. I couldn't have been expected to stop it... But.. What about my fate? Aren't I supposed to be the loner? All these years I've thought so, but now the thought changes. Corrupted with doubt, thoughts form in my head. It would've happened anyway.. Even if I was there.. I can't change the past, so why worry? A smirk forms on my face. It's their fault, not my own. They couldn't avoid the danger, they faced it like idiots, and paid the price for it. But... I could've stopped it... Why didn't I? I just hid there... And now they're gone.. Forever... FlamePaw... Mom... Dad.. But, it wasn't me. I wasn't the reason it came to the field. I didn't even know what it was then..
It's not my fault, it can't be. I feel the memory fade more. I'll just reset my past.. Let the memory disappear, start something new, let it begin again. It's not my fault, it never was. I was wrong to think so.. They're the reason they're gone. They're the ones that caused me pain. If they hadn't have left then I wouldn't feel this. I wouldn't be in this situation. It's them, not me.. Can't be me.. It's not, I'm innocent.. I don't care what they think anymore, I've gone this long with the hardness of that burden, and I need a change. If I reset my memory I can start again, life is different than what I thought. Things aren't this bad, they can't be. I know they aren't... I smirk and look at my paws, blood again in my memory. But I laugh this time, I don't care about the blood. It's not my own, and it's their own fault they're gone. Not my own. It never was my fault.. The memory fades more.. Only flashes of it now.. They flicker in my mind, no emotion. It's resetting already, soon I'm starting over.. Life's gonna turn in my favor.. I just know it will..
The next morning I wake up from my makeshift home. I look at my paw, only the blood on my paw remains clear. Flashes, streaks, and blurry images. I can't make it out, I don't remember what happened.
"It's resetting.."
I say to myself, and smirk again. Then I laugh, a bit insanely some might say. I don't care, it's not their problem. They should stay out.. Leave it alone. They couldn't handle it anyway.. And they're not the ones that had to reset their memory.. I did.. Otherwise I'd still believe that fate... It's false. It is my choice.. I don't have to be alone.. But.. I think I'll stay that way, they can't understand me. No, they can't ever. My mind is a puzzle... They can't solve it. No one can, my thoughts are too complex. I grin, laughing again. My memory of it is almost gone.. Just that one image.. I'm resetting, no going back now. Finally a peaceful life... What I've always wanted. I can move on to other things.. Maybe even become a warrior. And I smile at this, a small tear of joy running down my cheek. I look at my paw, only the wet feeling.. It's fading, almost gone. Life's gonna get better. Only the coldness... It's fading.. A faint tingle... And it's gone. I've reset my memory.