Chapter 14: Breaking Point
*Rei* still miserable. Still wanted to die. I had become suicidal but put on a show when Jadeite was around. I began to get annoyed at him and even hate him. I hated myself. I hated Mina and her bright cheeriness. I hated the queen and her superficial, holier than thou attitude. I hated this guy Mina talked about non-stop and I'd never even met the fool. My life was dull and hellish. The burning question in my mind was who the hell brought me back and why couldn't I die. I had tried every method. My body wouldn't bleed. My body would take any wound or overdose. It would take everything that I tried to ingest that would kill a normal thing. Creatures and bugs wouldn't bite me at all. Nothing worked. I was cursed to live. And what was worse, Jadeite might have been catching on. No matter what his efforts though, I still stayed in bed. One night, that all changed. I decided I wanted to take a midnight walk. "Sleep," I said and waved my hand over Jadeite, causing him to sleep until I broke the spell. I put on my light lavender robe and walked out of the room. I walked slowly down the earth lit open halls and stopped by a section of white rose bushes. So pretty and pure. Untouched by the cruelty of life and inhumanity. I couldn't remember being like that. I was cold and hard and uncaring and inhumane now. I lived because I couldn't die. "Rei," I heard a voice calling. "Rei? Mars?" I turned around to be greeted by the worried face of Serenity. "Sere," I said. "What has been troubling you?" she asked as we sat down on the floor and she put her head on my shoulder. "I no longer have the desire to live." "Yet you are unable to die." "How'd you know?" I asked. "I know many things. I also know that if you were able to, we would not be having this conversation now would we?" she said. "No. I suppose not." "I know you are filled with hate. You hurt. You feel unworthy of his love." she said. "Don't be. I know you think it impossible but if you open your arms to him and open your heart, you will learn to love and trust yourself again." "Thanks Sere. You could have just told me how to kill myself. Would've saved us all a bundle." "That's not my place, Rei-chan," she said standing up. "Until it is, I suggest you take my advice and learn to live with yourself." "I'll try. But I'm not promising anything," I said as we both went our separate ways.
"Wake," I said waving my hand over Jadeite again. He opened his eyes and found me with a real smile on my face. "There's my girl," he said touching my cheek. "I was beginning to wonder where she went."
*Mina* weeks went by and I had heard news of Rei returning to us. I had visited her on occasion but I could tell she had little interest in me so I stopped my visits. Andrew still called me angel. He said it suited me Lucky had grown to the size of the average four year old and seemed to come to a stand still. Andrew said it was normal and he would now age normally like a human until his late teens. I had asked Andrew on many occasions about immortal life but it apparently was a sore subject and he really didn't like talking about it at all. He'd been hurt. Lost too many people by mortality. He hated death. His own brother. Mortal life had claimed everyone he loved except for the queen Selene, his half sister. Andy didn't like talking too much about his past either. Selene had told me that his past was a very bloody, very cruel one. He hadn't always been a god. Born a half god over three thousand years ago. He fought and killed anything and everything that stood in his path. His life's mission was to become a full god. He had accomplished what he set out for and in his wake he left glorious cities in ruin and thousands of people dead. He was feared and worshiped out of fear of his wrath. He started out low in the rank as the angel of death, claiming lives when the underworld was losing power. Three hundred years later he advanced in a head to head combat against the god of terror and fear. Andrew killed him and assumed his position. He held it until one day on one of his tirades, he came upon a five year old little girl. As he raised his sword to kill her, she turned and handed him a handful of daisies with love and compassion in her eyes rather than the fear he had expected. He dropped his sword and kneeled in front of her. She smiled and he saw that her two front teeth were missing. He couldn't help but laugh a little. She giggled and her red curls bounced in the sunlight accompanied by her brilliant green eyes. "Here," she said and laid her hand out flat with the flowers in it. He took them from her hand and she leaned over and gave him a hug. "What's your name mister?" "My name?" he asked. "Andrew." "Andwew," she giggled. "Hello mister Andwew. My name is Cassiopeia."
"Well, that's an interesting name." "So is yours," she said taking his hand and leading him through the field. She talked to him the whole time and as her voice rang in his head his heart softened and he relinquished his position as a cruel god and became the god of life. He visited the girl for years and attended her wedding to a duke. He held her hand and eased the pain of her first childbirth. Then, three years after her second child she came down with a serious illness. He sat with her in her darkest hours and eased her suffering as much as he could though he couldn't ease his own. When she did die, he lifted her body up to the heavens in front of all her family and turned her into stars and sent them into the night sky for all to see for the rest of time. That was his first taste of mortality and the frailty of life. "Immortality is a curse," he always said. "Lucius will die, but it will take him up to five times longer than the normal human, but I, I will never die, though many times I wish I could." "Oh Andy," I said touching his face and looking into his pained eyes. "I will not live forever but I never once wished that I would." "It will hurt me deeply when you do. I will have to watch you grow old and die and I will remain. This is the curse. No god can love another. We are all cursed to fall in love with the mortals that touch our soul only to watch them fade from existence." "Well, is there any way you can give up your immortality?" "Only one," he said gravely. "What is it?" I asked seriously. "You'd have to die," he said after a slight pause. "Not a normal death. By suicide or self sacrifice. No other way." "Oh," I said. "You can't live forever and I can't die. It's rather tragic, don't you think?" "Heh. Yeah, kind of ironic too," I said leaning back into his embrace. I didn't want to die. But I didn't want Andrew to be miserable. I was in one confusing pickle.
*later on at the ball that night(Rei)* I was so bored it was unreal. I would sit in the corner of the hall and cross my eyes. People looked so funny when I did that. I did it about ten times and the last time, my vision was blocked by a big black object. I started laughing and the object hit me right in the forehead with the heel of its hand. "Owie," I said rubbing my forehead. "Well, princess, if you'd rather make funny faces over here in the corner than dance, I'll let you be." "Party pooper," I muttered as I took Jadeite's hand and we made our way to the middle of the dance floor. "Dances suck," I said faking a smile. "Yes, but you are so graceful and such a good dancer," he said and quietly mumbled to himself "in bed that is." Then next thing he knew, I'd punched him in the shoulder. "Ow, Rei. What'd I do?" "Don't play stupid with me." "Ok fine," he said and I started smiling again. "Good to know you haven't lost your sense of humor." Just then, it felt like the sun had entered the room. I looked to my left and there Mina was in a brilliant gold dress accompanied by a saint. No doubt it was the Andrew she had been talking so much about. My jaw dropped and I could tell Jed was staring at me. I recollected myself and drug him over to Mina. "Rei!" she exclaimed and ran over to give me a hug. "Wow, Mina you look great. I love the dress." She blushed and looked back at Andrew. He smiled. "So, tell me," I said and we left the guys to themselves.
"Well, Rei, you wouldn't believe me." "Try me." "That's Andrew. He's, uh, well, it's complicated but he's a god. And," she paused. "I have a son." "From what? Malachite? when how? It just doesn't work out," I rambled confusedly. She laughed. "No silly. He's Andrew's. The children of gods grow fast in the womb and rapidly after they are born. Right now, Lucky looks about four or five but he's only a few weeks old." "I'll have to see him," I said. "Of course. I'll bring him by tomorrow!"
*Rei* still miserable. Still wanted to die. I had become suicidal but put on a show when Jadeite was around. I began to get annoyed at him and even hate him. I hated myself. I hated Mina and her bright cheeriness. I hated the queen and her superficial, holier than thou attitude. I hated this guy Mina talked about non-stop and I'd never even met the fool. My life was dull and hellish. The burning question in my mind was who the hell brought me back and why couldn't I die. I had tried every method. My body wouldn't bleed. My body would take any wound or overdose. It would take everything that I tried to ingest that would kill a normal thing. Creatures and bugs wouldn't bite me at all. Nothing worked. I was cursed to live. And what was worse, Jadeite might have been catching on. No matter what his efforts though, I still stayed in bed. One night, that all changed. I decided I wanted to take a midnight walk. "Sleep," I said and waved my hand over Jadeite, causing him to sleep until I broke the spell. I put on my light lavender robe and walked out of the room. I walked slowly down the earth lit open halls and stopped by a section of white rose bushes. So pretty and pure. Untouched by the cruelty of life and inhumanity. I couldn't remember being like that. I was cold and hard and uncaring and inhumane now. I lived because I couldn't die. "Rei," I heard a voice calling. "Rei? Mars?" I turned around to be greeted by the worried face of Serenity. "Sere," I said. "What has been troubling you?" she asked as we sat down on the floor and she put her head on my shoulder. "I no longer have the desire to live." "Yet you are unable to die." "How'd you know?" I asked. "I know many things. I also know that if you were able to, we would not be having this conversation now would we?" she said. "No. I suppose not." "I know you are filled with hate. You hurt. You feel unworthy of his love." she said. "Don't be. I know you think it impossible but if you open your arms to him and open your heart, you will learn to love and trust yourself again." "Thanks Sere. You could have just told me how to kill myself. Would've saved us all a bundle." "That's not my place, Rei-chan," she said standing up. "Until it is, I suggest you take my advice and learn to live with yourself." "I'll try. But I'm not promising anything," I said as we both went our separate ways.
"Wake," I said waving my hand over Jadeite again. He opened his eyes and found me with a real smile on my face. "There's my girl," he said touching my cheek. "I was beginning to wonder where she went."
*Mina* weeks went by and I had heard news of Rei returning to us. I had visited her on occasion but I could tell she had little interest in me so I stopped my visits. Andrew still called me angel. He said it suited me Lucky had grown to the size of the average four year old and seemed to come to a stand still. Andrew said it was normal and he would now age normally like a human until his late teens. I had asked Andrew on many occasions about immortal life but it apparently was a sore subject and he really didn't like talking about it at all. He'd been hurt. Lost too many people by mortality. He hated death. His own brother. Mortal life had claimed everyone he loved except for the queen Selene, his half sister. Andy didn't like talking too much about his past either. Selene had told me that his past was a very bloody, very cruel one. He hadn't always been a god. Born a half god over three thousand years ago. He fought and killed anything and everything that stood in his path. His life's mission was to become a full god. He had accomplished what he set out for and in his wake he left glorious cities in ruin and thousands of people dead. He was feared and worshiped out of fear of his wrath. He started out low in the rank as the angel of death, claiming lives when the underworld was losing power. Three hundred years later he advanced in a head to head combat against the god of terror and fear. Andrew killed him and assumed his position. He held it until one day on one of his tirades, he came upon a five year old little girl. As he raised his sword to kill her, she turned and handed him a handful of daisies with love and compassion in her eyes rather than the fear he had expected. He dropped his sword and kneeled in front of her. She smiled and he saw that her two front teeth were missing. He couldn't help but laugh a little. She giggled and her red curls bounced in the sunlight accompanied by her brilliant green eyes. "Here," she said and laid her hand out flat with the flowers in it. He took them from her hand and she leaned over and gave him a hug. "What's your name mister?" "My name?" he asked. "Andrew." "Andwew," she giggled. "Hello mister Andwew. My name is Cassiopeia."
"Well, that's an interesting name." "So is yours," she said taking his hand and leading him through the field. She talked to him the whole time and as her voice rang in his head his heart softened and he relinquished his position as a cruel god and became the god of life. He visited the girl for years and attended her wedding to a duke. He held her hand and eased the pain of her first childbirth. Then, three years after her second child she came down with a serious illness. He sat with her in her darkest hours and eased her suffering as much as he could though he couldn't ease his own. When she did die, he lifted her body up to the heavens in front of all her family and turned her into stars and sent them into the night sky for all to see for the rest of time. That was his first taste of mortality and the frailty of life. "Immortality is a curse," he always said. "Lucius will die, but it will take him up to five times longer than the normal human, but I, I will never die, though many times I wish I could." "Oh Andy," I said touching his face and looking into his pained eyes. "I will not live forever but I never once wished that I would." "It will hurt me deeply when you do. I will have to watch you grow old and die and I will remain. This is the curse. No god can love another. We are all cursed to fall in love with the mortals that touch our soul only to watch them fade from existence." "Well, is there any way you can give up your immortality?" "Only one," he said gravely. "What is it?" I asked seriously. "You'd have to die," he said after a slight pause. "Not a normal death. By suicide or self sacrifice. No other way." "Oh," I said. "You can't live forever and I can't die. It's rather tragic, don't you think?" "Heh. Yeah, kind of ironic too," I said leaning back into his embrace. I didn't want to die. But I didn't want Andrew to be miserable. I was in one confusing pickle.
*later on at the ball that night(Rei)* I was so bored it was unreal. I would sit in the corner of the hall and cross my eyes. People looked so funny when I did that. I did it about ten times and the last time, my vision was blocked by a big black object. I started laughing and the object hit me right in the forehead with the heel of its hand. "Owie," I said rubbing my forehead. "Well, princess, if you'd rather make funny faces over here in the corner than dance, I'll let you be." "Party pooper," I muttered as I took Jadeite's hand and we made our way to the middle of the dance floor. "Dances suck," I said faking a smile. "Yes, but you are so graceful and such a good dancer," he said and quietly mumbled to himself "in bed that is." Then next thing he knew, I'd punched him in the shoulder. "Ow, Rei. What'd I do?" "Don't play stupid with me." "Ok fine," he said and I started smiling again. "Good to know you haven't lost your sense of humor." Just then, it felt like the sun had entered the room. I looked to my left and there Mina was in a brilliant gold dress accompanied by a saint. No doubt it was the Andrew she had been talking so much about. My jaw dropped and I could tell Jed was staring at me. I recollected myself and drug him over to Mina. "Rei!" she exclaimed and ran over to give me a hug. "Wow, Mina you look great. I love the dress." She blushed and looked back at Andrew. He smiled. "So, tell me," I said and we left the guys to themselves.
"Well, Rei, you wouldn't believe me." "Try me." "That's Andrew. He's, uh, well, it's complicated but he's a god. And," she paused. "I have a son." "From what? Malachite? when how? It just doesn't work out," I rambled confusedly. She laughed. "No silly. He's Andrew's. The children of gods grow fast in the womb and rapidly after they are born. Right now, Lucky looks about four or five but he's only a few weeks old." "I'll have to see him," I said. "Of course. I'll bring him by tomorrow!"