"Severus." Said Dumbledore, turning to him. "You know what I must ask you do. If you are ready…if you are prepared…"
"I am."
But he wasn't, hadn't been then and had never thought he would be again. He had gone through last summer and this year believing he could just wing it and trek haphazardly through Voldemort's world without being affected and he had found just how false he had been. Voldemort's call was just as seductive as it had always been. It would always be seductive, just as it was to all men, Albus Dumbledore included. The choice between what is right and what is easy was a constant struggle for everyone, and because he had tasted the goods, it was even more a struggle for him.
His entire life he had struggled against one fate or another. As a boy, he had rebelled against his legacy. As an Auror, he had rebelled against their code. As a Death Eater, he had rebelled against the memory of his better times. He had spent his entire life believing he couldn't be one thing and the other. He had always wanted to hide from a fate he thought he could not escape and Voldemort had offered him a mask.
But now, he had to be all. He had to be Auror and Death Eater, House Head and Dark Prince, Potions Master and yes, Angel of Death. It had taken him most of his life to discover and in turn accept that. It was not an easy fate but it was his. Severus A. Snape wasn't exactly sure he wanted it but since when did that matter to the powers that be?
"Slow year?" The voice of Albus Dumbledore broke his musings and brought him back to reality. He was walking to the End of the Year feast when Dumbledore had requested a word. The Headmaster smiled gently. "I mean after all, you've gone through the entire year without trying to expel young Mr. Potter."
"I wasn't here for the first semester and well, for the second one…well, perhaps I'm just getting old." Snape offered snidely. He straightened the cuff of his solid black robes and brush a strand of hair from his face. "Is that all?"
"Of course not." He said in a darker tone. "Mr. Moody and Gideon wanted me to ask you a few questions about the attack on Azkaban."
"Oh, was there an attack? I didn't realize that. I understood it to be a prison break." He laughed slightly. "Of the entire fortress."
"Severus, behave."
"Always Headmaster, please continue."
"Do you know who was behind it?"
"I think it would be safe to assume my Lord Voldemort was behind it."
Dumbledore decided not to stress over Snape's use of the word, 'my' or his snide rebuttal. "And the Death Eater used in this attack?"
"I know there were 7, including the Dark Prince."
"Did you ever discover who the Dark Prince was? If we found out his identity…"
A man still needed to have his secrets. Gideon knew and Remus knew and that was quite enough good guys that needed to know, everyone else could believe either that the Dark Prince was lie and had never existed at all or that it was just a persona used by various Death Eaters to spread fear. Snape decided to chose his words carefully. "If you discovered who he was, he would be killed and another would take his place just as quickly. Besides he spared the lives of the people on the prison, that should be enough for you."
Albus stopped and gave him a knowing look. "Spared or saved?"
"Don't get caught up on words, Professor." Snape warned. "Unless, of course, you're doing a crossword puzzle."
Dumbledore allowed that. He smiled at him with a twinkle in his eyes before entering the Great Hall. Severus was about to follow him when he felt someone touch his shoulder. He turned and met Jacqueline's eyes. He smirked and glanced around the hall. "We really need to look into a better security system." He kissed her and then, in a slightly serious tone, "So are you here for business or pleasure?"
"To say goodbye."
He stopped and stepped back, confused. "But I thought…this life…"
"Is your life, not mine." It was then he noticed she wasn't looking him in the eye. She was staring at the floor and she was crying.
"But our life…"
"Anything that was ours was created and enjoyed twenty years ago." She thought of her son. She wanted to tell him, and leave him with what was truly theirs. She wanted to give him what he had always had but never knew it. "But now my Prince…"
"For once, call me by my name."
"Severus, its over now. You belong to them," She motioned through the doors to Dumbledore and Sinistra. "You belong with them."
"But I need you. Who am I without the woman, I love?"
"You don't love me, I don't know if you ever did. But you did need me, to help you become what you are." She swallowed hard. She wouldn't let him see him cry. Oh, god did she want to tell him. She wanted to tell him that she loved him and that she was all he needed.
He was quiet for a long time then looked up and smiled softly. "But I love you, I've always loved you. I know I do, even if you don't know." He was going to lose her, like he did with Melanie and Drucilla. He couldn't again. "I don't even know why?"
"Because I was the only one you loved that you never had to protect. You never needed to be anything but who you are, all of you, not just one part." She seemed to read his mind. "You can't lose me, Severus. I'll always be near you." She smiled. "The guardian angel of the angel of Death." She kissed him again, for the last time it seemed. Then she turned to leave.
"We could have been grand together, Jackie." He called. "We could have been…"
All hell, she thought to herself, she could at least give him this one thing. After all didn't he deserve it? If the world was just she could tell him. "We were grand together Severus…"
He smiled. "If I hadn't met Melanie…"
Don't make a sound…
She closed her eyes. "But it does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live…or love." She looked back. "Take care of Astra, you arrogant prick."
He laughed and said he would. He watched her till he couldn't see her anymore then turned and walked into the Great Hall.
Alone.