After Ranger and I talked, Kai came in and gave me another dose of morphine. I sighed in relief as it started to work, and it wasn't long before I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I stretched and smiled at Kai. "Hey", he said quietly. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good", I said with a smile. "The pain is manageable and I had a good sleep. Has the morphine worn off yet?"

"Probably. I dosed you at ten last night, when you went to sleep, and Ranger said you were starting to whimper around three and I came in and dosed you again. It's now nine, so that was six hours ago. I know that you are still in a lot of pain, but I notice at night that you are going longer and longer between doses."

Tears came to my eyes. "Thank you", I said. "It is very hard for me to see the gains, and when I see them I often think that I am making them up in order to make myself feel better and to give myself hope."

Kai smiled. "They are definitely there. They are just baby steps, and that's okay. Baby steps are still steps, and that's what you have to remind yourself of. What is your pain level?"

"About a seven for my abdomen, and a ten for my legs."

"That's fantastic. Your legs have been much more painful than that since the fire. I'm very happy to hear of that, and hopefully this will be the beginning of your legs not being so painful."

I smiled. I didn't say it, but I really hoped so as well.

"Do you want more morphine? Or do you want a milder painkiller?"

I thought for a moment. "May I have the milder option? I'd like to spend some time with the girls this morning, and I need to be awake for that."

Kai grinned, and he quickly added it to my IV. "I notice that you ate half your sub for dinner. What would you like for breakfast?"

"Bacon? I'm hungry."

Kai laughed. "I don't think we have any in the house. Do you want me to send a note to Ranger telling him that you are hungry, and maybe to bring the girls up? As far as I know, they would have just finished breakfast themselves."

I smiled. "Thanks. How is Ranger doing?"

"He's barely holding his temper, but Hal and I got up early this morning and Ranger and Hal went for a long run and spent some time in the gym. Apparently, he is taking out his frustration on the heavy bag, and Julie and Hal have been doing some sparring with him. After he has had the time for PT he looks a lot more settled. Now that the strike team isn't doing patrols any longer, Grant and I are focusing more on providing mental health counselling. Grant is going to work with Ranger every day, and I am going to talk more with you about how you are feeling. Both of us are here for you both, but we thought that dividing out our counselling might make it easier for you to talk to us."

I felt relieved. I was worried about Ranger. I knew how hard he was finding things. He was a problem-solver, and with my injuries there were no solutions. "Thank you", I said.

Kai sat on the bed beside me. "How do you feel about your sister and grandmother coming for a visit?"

I sighed heavily. "My life was going so well."

Kai burst out laughing.

I smiled. "I'm not happy about it, but I think we'll get through it. I feel bad, because I am giving you and Grant and Ranger especially a lot of problems. However, on the other hand, I need help with them."

"I know. None of us blame you."

"It's just a little harder to cope with than it would normally be. It's like when I was severely depressed. It was harder for me to cope with the negative comments made by my sister."

"How is your depression? That is something that we haven't talked about much over the last couple of days."

I sighed. "I'm finding it hard to keep my spirits up. It feels like the last week has just been one long period of unrelenting agony. I feel like a failure for giving into the pain, I feel guilty for causing people to worry about me, and I hate myself for not being stronger. So I guess you could say that I'm more depressed, but I don't know if I am truly depressed or just reacting to the situation I find myself in."

"That's a good distinction to make. However, you have to plan for the long-haul. Even if the depression is caused by the situation, you might need to take a higher dose of antidepressants just because you cannot change the situation."

I thought about that for a moment. "I think I'd rather try talk therapy first."

"Fair enough. How is your anxiety?"

"Bad. It's worse than the depression. When things are going well, I'm on the verge of a panic attack. When things aren't going well? It's all I can do not to scream and cry myself sick."

"I understand. Now that the guys aren't on patrol, Eduardo was wondering whether he could come in and talk to you. He said that he had some severe burns on the battlefield and might know a little better what you are going through. He is a certified counsellor that has specialized in trauma and would like to sit with you and be with you, even if you don't want to talk at all."

I smiled. Eduardo was tough and taciturn, but he had a deep well of caring for other people and I had learned that, although he didn't say much, he was a great listener and would do anything to help a person out. He was a good man, and he was someone that I greatly enjoyed spending time with.

"That would be nice", I said. "I was thinking that we could have the kids visit this morning, and then maybe Eduardo for a while this afternoon? Maybe, if I'm awake, could I join everybody for lunch?"

Kai smiled. "Sounds like a plan, if you are up to it. If not, we can plan on that for tomorrow." He pulled out his phone and typed in a message. Seconds later there was the ding on a reply. "Ranger said that he will be up in ten minutes. Let's change your diaper while we wait."

Ten minutes later I was more comfortable and sitting up in bed. Kai had brought me a sweater to wear, and I laughed as he helped me put it on. "I'm like an old lady, wearing a bed jacket as I lounge in bed."

Kai grinned. "Steph, you'll never be old."

I laughed again. "Neither will Grandma. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not."

Kai chuckled. "I'm not saying."

I laughed hard as Ranger opened the door and walked in with three little girls behind him. He was carrying a tray with four smoothies on it, a cinnamon sticky bun, and a cup of coffee. "Mmm", I said. "I think you're spoiling me." I turned to the girls. "Did you have sticky buns for breakfast as well?"

The three girls grinned and nodded.

"Were they good?"

Alix and Grace nodded again. However, Tia, with twinkling eyes, said, "they were horrible. I think you should give it to me and I should eat it for you."

"You'd be my designated eater?" I said.

Tia grinned. "Yes!"

I swallowed back a smile. "So if I had a Greek salad, with lots of feta, you'd eat that for me?"

Tia paused. She liked food, all food, except for feta. It was the one food that she honestly couldn't stand. I personally didn't know why. I loved it. However, I didn't want to force her to eat something that she honestly didn't like when she ate literally everything else.

"I could pick out the feta", she said finally.

I laughed.

"I have a job for you three to do. Aunt Lindsay brought me presents yesterday, and I can't wait to see what is in them." The girls squirmed in excitement, and their eyes glowed in happiness. "However, my hands are going to be sticky with this cinnamon bun and I won't be able to open the presents, and that will make me sad. Would you three be able to help me by opening my presents? Instead of my designated eater, you three could be my designated present openers. What do you think?"

The three little girls grinned. "Yeah!" they said at the same time. Ranger chuckled, and I smiled to see their joy.

Ranger helped them onto the bed. "There are a lot of presents", he said. "I think Mommy is being spoiled."

"Is it your birthday, Mommy?" said Tia.

I smiled. "No, peanut. These are just things that Aunt Lindsay thought would make me happy. Kind of like the pictures that you are hopefully drawing me. It doesn't have to be my birthday to get pictures, does it?"

The girls squirmed, and I knew they were making me something special. They were squirming like they had a secret, wriggling like little puppies in the way that they did when they were bursting to tell me something and they couldn't.

I tried not to laugh and looked at Ranger. He sighed and shook his head, but he also was struggling not to laugh. "I don't think being an undercover agent is in their future", he said.

I laughed as Ranger put down the legs to the bed tray and put it over my lap. "What's this?" I said.

"Kate found it in the cupboards last night", said Ranger. "She'll be interested in hearing how it worked."

"This is excellent!" I took a sip of my coffee and groaned in appreciation. "There is nothing like the first cup of coffee in the morning. No matter how bad life gets, it always is better after your first cup of coffee."

Tia turned to Alix and Grace. "Let's not let Val have coffee in the morning."

I burst out laughing. The girls looked proud of themselves as they turned to me. "That might not slow Val down, but it would slow me down. I love coffee."

The girls smiled.

I took a sip of my smoothie. "Yum", I said. Then I pulled a bit of the sticky bun apart and popped it in my mouth. "Oh yeah, baby, that's what I'm talking about. Pure yumminess! Sorry, Tia. You don't get to be my designated eater today."

"Dagnabbit!" said Tia with a grin.

I laughed again. "Hey, I have a joke for you. Why did the elephant paint its toenails?"

The kids looked at me, obviously trying to think of the answer. "To look pretty?" said Grace finally.

"No, it's so that she could hide in a dish of Smarties." Tia started to laugh, and then Grace and Alix got the joke.

"Elephant!", said Alix, holding her arms out as wide as she could.

"Dish of Smarties!", said Grace, holding her hands in a little bowl.

I laughed at the joy on their faces. "That would look funny to see the elephant in a bowl of Smarties, wouldn't it?" I said. The kids laughed harder. "Do you think painting her toenails would work?"

The three girls shook their heads and laughed some more. "Daddy", said Alix. "Why did the elephant paint her toenails?"

Ranger snorted. "That's funny. I think I just heard that joke. I can't remember what the punchline is though..."

The three girls laughed and said at the same time, "so she could hide in a dish of Smarties."

Ranger grinned. "That's a good joke."

The girls laughed with pleasure.

I slowly ate the sticky bun. It was incredibly good and I wanted to savor it. Besides, no matter what I said about being hungry, my stomach was upset and I didn't want the bun making a repeat performance.

"How are you feeling, Mommy?" said Tia.

"I think I feel a bit better today than I have for the last week", I said. "It still hurts, but it doesn't hurt as much. And you know what? Kai pointed out to me that I am going longer between doses of medication, which means that I am getting better. Slowly, but still getting better. As Kai said, I might be taking baby steps but the important thing is that I am taking steps."

Ranger looked grateful. He got a clean facecloth from the bathroom and wiped the kids faces and hands from their smoothie, and he got out the bag of presents. The girls' eyes opened wide. "Can you see why I needed help?" I said.

The girls grinned. Ranger handed out a present to each of the girls as I continued to eat my sticky bun. Tia opened hers first. It was another pair of palazzo pants, this time in a light gray wool with a pleated detail and a tailored waist. Alix opened a cream crepe tank top. Grace opened a black and gray and cream sweater, and so on around the circle. By the time they had finished opening the presents, Lindsay had given me ten complete outfits. Each of the outfits were long and would cover much of the bandages or, when the bandages came off, the scarring. They were also all loose on the bottom and would therefore not hurt to put them on. She had also given me a pair of cute black running shoes that were fastened with velcro and opened all the way to the toe, which would make them easier to get on. Although I wasn't ready to wear them yet, I was pleased to see them and know that I had them to wear when I was ready.

When we finished opening the presents, the girls and I looked around the room. "Whoa", said the girls and I at the same time. I looked at the girls. "Which outfit do you think I should wear today?"

The three girls got off the bed and walked around the room, discussing the positives and negatives of each outfit. As they did, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Lindsay. "The kids and I just had a ball opening the presents. They are absolutely perfect, each and every one of them. Thank you! I don't know how you nail my colors and style so well, but you do. I asked the kids to pick an outfit for me to wear today, and the kids are really struggling. They want me to wear all of them! Lindsay, thank you so much."

Seconds later, I got a return message. "I'm actually at the castle right now. Would it be okay to come up? I'll make sure there are no nasty spectators."

"As long as there are no nasties, I would love to see you."

Lindsay sent back a laughing emoticon, and about three minutes later, Lindsay knocked on the door. Ranger froze, and I said, "it's probably Lindsay. She asked if she could come up, and I said that I would like to thank her in person."

Ranger opened the door carefully, saw that it was Lindsay, and let her in with a smile. "You have made four of my women very happy today, Lindsay."

Lindsay grinned. "I'm glad you liked them. I had so much fun shopping for you."

"I don't even know how you came up with so many things that were so perfect", I said. "The girls are trying to pick out their favorite for me to wear today."

Lindsay looked at the bed. "You really like that blanket, don't you?" she said, with a pleased expression on her face.

"Kai has noticed that I am going for longer times between doses of painkillers at night, and I think one of the differences is this blanket. It is so light that it's not hurting the burns at all, and without having the weight on the skin I am feeling much more comfortable."

"That's fantastic!"

"You're telling me."