Author's Note: *hugs for a reviewers *Yep, I adore the Secret Diaries and even have a small shrine to their author. lol! The slash is coming soon, I promise, and that reminds me: does anyone know any really bizarre couples, like Gollum/Legolas or something along those lines?
Legolas starred lovingley into her eyez which was so beautiful with purpl & gold & blu (Author's Note: think like Lij's eyes! He iz soo hotz!)…
Legolas thought he was going to be ill. This thing was touching him again, trying to kiss him and he couldn't escape the author. Ai Elbereth! Why me?
He tried to scream for help, but instead, when he opened his mouth, he said, "I love you, Lanna." Then came the most horrifying thing of all: He kissed her. Her lips were sticky with strawberry lip-gloss (was there even such a thing in Middle Earth?) and she rammed her tongue down his throat and grabbed his butt.
"No! Legolas, we can't do this! I am Elrond's daughter and our families hate one another!" Mary Sue said as she pulled away from him and ran off into the darkness, melodramatically.
Legolas, finally ignored by the author, leaned over the bridge and became Middle Earth's first ever (and probably only) bulimic Elf. When he came back up, unable to vomit anymore, but still convinced he tasted strawberry lip-gloss, he wiped his mouth. "What does that have to do with being able to unwrap a Starburst with your tongue? Perhaps it means she can strangle her enemies, as well, with it?" he wondered aloud.
He walked back to his room quietly, praying to the Valar that she wouldn't notice him again.
The Valar must have been busy at the moment.
"Leggy!"
He still had time before the author took control again; she hadn't spotted him yet. He ran down the hall, around gardens, desperately trying to escape when he ran into someone. Two someone's actually.
Elladan and Elrohir pushed the Prince of Mirkwood off of them. "What is the meaning of this?"
"There you are, Leggy!" The creature was returning. Legolas closed his eyes and hoped that Elladan (or Elrohir…he couldn't tell which) would forgive him and kissed the Elf on the lips.