Writing LESSONS, Part IV

Thank you all again for the lovely reviews I'm getting the ep 3 spoilage now and as soon as a finish this one, I will get on that, there isn't QUITE enough info yet, :).

REMEMBER, SPOILERS SEASON SEVEN!!!

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Dawn, Kit, and Carlos are suddenly in the eeeeevil basement (where eeeeeeevil Spike lives!) and surrounded by a bunch of ghosts (also known as all the extras from seasons 1-3)

DAWN: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KIT: Like, help.

CARLOS: Great googely-moogely! Ghosts!!!!

Buffy and Xander enter...followed by Anya and Spike, who have both been bruised badly by Buffy and Xander. It's okay for Buffy and Xander to beat their exes because...they are Buffy and Xander, the images of PURITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUFFY: Dawn! Shut up. It's just a bunch of ghosts.

XANDER: Great googely-moogley!!!!!!!!

BUFFY: Oh my gosh! ("Full of Grace" begins to play) these are all of the people I didn't save back in high school! This is so painful! WAHH!

XANDER: Oh, Buffy, it's okay, they aren't you me or Willow remember? They don't matter! (BIG SMILE)

SPIKE: Buffy...you know, this is sort of similar to what I'm going through right now...being plagued by mistak---

BUFFY: Oh Xander! My hero! You're right, none of these people were as pure and good as us! They deserved to die!

ANYA: Well, no....

Xander promptly smacks Anya, and mutters something about her being eeeeeeevil for ever wanting to marry and take care of him. Damn these supporting characters and their unwavering love of the heroes who beat them!

SPIKE: Well, what now? We can't very well kill them...they were innocent--

BUFFY: And not as good as ME and XANDER and WILLOW!

ANYA: Willow just murdered someone--

BUFFY: We should PUNISH them! Plus, it will give us a chance to highlight the GREATEST STORY ARC OF ALL TIME!!!

SPIKE: Which is?

BUFFY: Dawn and her friends learn to save the world and die pathetically trying!!!!!!

DAWN, KIT, CARLOS: We are the chosen ones!!!!!!!!

Dawn, Kit, Carlos, Buffy and Xander do the dance of the "best people in the world" and prepare to re-kill the innocent high schoolers. Spike and his pathetic, INSANE, soul leave, unable to handle the *cruelty*...he's Eeeeeevil. Anya just walks around in her sexy dress, a sure sign of her impending evilness, she's already dressing sexy, she must be bad.

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Giles and Willow are in the same field...covered in rain. It rains in England. Duh.

(OFF CAMERA) JOSS THE JANITOR: Stupid rain. MARTIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! Get me my umbrella thee who killed MY show...now we've had to come all the way here to make things right again and I have to write and direct this stupid thing right in the middle of all my NEW shows! Boo hoo!!!!!!!

GILES: So, reason number 2,792 why Spike is eeeevil??

WILLOW: Um, he loves Buffy?

GILES: AH! Precisely! Any man who really loves Buffy MUST be evil in any GOOD person's eyes. Willow, if you learn nothing else from my teachings, learn this: Buffy is not to find happiness with anyone!

WILLOW: What??

GILES: She's practically my daughter! She can't fall in love!

WILLOW: That isn't really fair Giles.

GILES: I'm sensing that you aren't quite ready to go back to Sunnydale Willow. You'll need to be much more narrow-minded before you can really be the old Willow again.

WILLOW: Am I still redeemed??

GILES: Of course, you were redeemed when Xander told you about the yellow crayon, the fact that you hate Spike just gives you bonus points!

WILLOW: Wow!

TBC