Writing LESSONS, part V.

I'm going to stop this one at chapter 6 (this is 5) and start on the ep 3 parody...hopefully new spoilers for that will surface for the end of the week...also, thanks once more for all the reviews!

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Anya and Spike sit down in the eeeeeeeeevil basement. The ghosts have inexplicably disappeared....they were never very important anyways. What IS important is that Buffy, Xander, Dawn, Kit and Carlos have saved the day yet again.

ANYA: So they saved the day yet again.

SPIKE: By doing what? Hurting the innocent people???

ANYA: Why do you care about innocent people?

SPIKE: I thought you vengeance demons could feel if I bloke has a soul!

ANYA: (Covering her ears) HEY! I'm not supposed to find out about that till the next episode!

SPIKE: Hmph, whatever.

ANYA: So, what do we do now??

SPIKE: Well, you're obviously looking too good these days, you're going to be evil soon I 'spect.

ANYA: What?!?

SPIKE: Well, the "Bad Boyfriend Arc" they used on me last year didn't work, so to keep Marti *occupied* you'll be taking on the role of "Bad Girlfriend Arc".

ANYA: But I have always been made out to be a perfect and caring girlfriend!

SPIKE: (Raises his eyebrows)

ANYA: Oh GOD!

SPIKE: Yup, I was pretty bloody perfect before they *decided* that I...well, just WASN'T.

ANYA: But...how will this be explained, certainly there has to be a good reason-

SPIKE: Nope.

a sad pause.

ANYA: So what will you do?

SPIKE: I'll sit around feeling inadequate like Ange-

A censor bleeps out the word "Angel" every time it comes out of spike's mouth now...he's NOT like Angel, we swear!!!!!!!!!

ANYA: Well, didn't you get that soul for Buffy?

SPIKE: How did you know? Hell! I didn't even know right up until the end...thought I was getting the chip out and then BAM! No, you're getting a soul for BUFFY!

ANYA: So, aren't you going to go make with the flirting?

SPIKE: Nope. Can't.

ANYA: Huh?

SPIKE: I feel *inadequate* she's too perfect for me.

ANYA: Are we still talking about BUFFY?

SPIKE: Yeah, well, actually it would just take too much time away from Dawn if she and I got together. And who am I to get in the way of everyone's favorite character?

ANYA: Oh.

SPIKE: So, Anya, how do you feel about rape scenes?

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Buffy and Xander are watching tv, they have just maimed and tortured all the people from high school who weren't *good enough for them*. They are so COOL!!!

XANDER: We are so cool.

BUFFY: Oh yeah.

XANDER: It's fun, the way we can do whatever we want without having to feel guilty.

BUFFY: I KNOW! It's like WE are the ones with no souls!!

XANDER: Yeah! Except no, cause we're perfect. I think it's like, (trying to sound deep...its not working) we're let of the hook, simply because we POSSESS the soul, we don't even have to USE it, we just have to HAVE it. (BIG SMILE)

BUFFY: We are perfect.

Enter Dawn

DAWN: Buffy, I don't want Willow to move back in with us, she tried to kill us.

BUFFY: Dawn! Don't be so narrow-minded, Willow made a little mistake, but she's been here since season one, so we just forgive her.

DAWN: Why?

BUFFY: Because she's one of us. Per-fect!

DAWN: Okay....but we don't forgive Spike right? I still get to threaten to kill him next week right????

BUFFY: Totally Dawnie!! Spike and Anya are UNFORGIVABLE EVILS!

DAWN: Why is that?

BUFFY: Just is.

DAWN: Okay!