I slept until breakfast the following morning. Like the day before, Kai was in the room with me while Grant was taking time with the other Rangeman staff. He smiled at me as I woke up.

"What kind of pain are you in?"

I thought for a moment. "None", I said in surprise. "I feel a little spacey though."

Kai grinned. "Grant dosed you two hours ago. What this tells me is that the side effects are starting to wear off and the medication isn't making you as sleepy. The second thing it tells me is that the medication is working properly, and that now that you are awake during the times when it is being controlled the best, you will enjoy some periods where you aren't in pain at all."

I smiled and wiped the tears from my eyes. "Is Ranger around?"

"I think he's getting the girls ready for the day."

"Maybe they could come in here and have breakfast with me?"

"Yes, as long as you have a nap afterwards."

I smiled again. "Deal."

"Steph, I was wondering. When was the last time you weren't in pain?"

I thought for a moment. "Christmas?"

"You've been in pain for the last five months?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. It was shortly after Christmas that my abdomen started getting sore, and then my tube burst, and then I was recovering from the operation. I had almost recovered and only felt a small pain in my abdomen – maybe about a two? – when I rescued Ben." I sighed. "That's why it was starting to get to me. It feels like I've been in pain for a long time, and I felt like I didn't have the right to whine about it."

"You have the right to not be in pain."

I thought about that for a few minutes. "I thought I was just making it up, that I was making a mountain out of a molehill. I thought the problem was within me rather than that I was actually in pain, and that anyone else would be sailing through it."

"I'm glad you are talking about it now, but why are you finally talking about it?"

"Eduardo said that the pain he felt was more intense than anything he had ever felt before. He's one of the toughest people that I know."

"So are you."

Ranger walked in with a smile on his face. He looked at me and assessed my face as the kids climbed the side of the bed and sat on top, and he put his large tray down on the nightstand. "Are you feeling better, Mommy?" said Grace.

I grinned. "I am. Kai gave me a new medication a couple of days ago, and it makes me super sleepy. However, Kai said after I used it for a couple of days, I wouldn't be so sleepy on it. This is the first time that I've been awake when the medication is working and I have no pain at all."

Tia grinned. "Are you going to come downstairs soon?"

"I don't know", I said. "It depends upon if I can continue to get past the sleepiness. However, I'd like to. I miss seeing everybody." I smiled at the kids. "I have loved seeing my smile wall. I look at it every time I wake up. It makes me happy." The girls grinned.

Ranger looked at me. "I have something else that will make you happy", he said.

"The ability to shower? You could help me." Ranger looked at me and grinned with relief. He could tell, if I was thinking about sex, that I was indeed feeling better. "You know, to help me wash my back."

Kai was trying to bite back a smile. "No showers."

"Dagnabbit", I said as I snapped my fingers.

"How did you do that?" said Alix.

"Snap my fingers?"

"Yeah."

I showed her in slow motion what I was doing, and I smiled as she concentrated and tried to make the snap sound. Tia and Grace tried as well, and I could tell that they would be working on it all day.

"So what did you bring me for breakfast?"

"Is your stomach steady?" said Kai.

"Yes!" I smiled.

"The power of antiemetics. When was the last time that you weren't nauseous?"

I thought for a moment. "Christmas?"

"Jesus, babe", said Ranger. "That was five months ago. Why haven't you mentioned it before now?"

"I thought it was my fault."

"Steph", said Kai, "we really have to work on your communication."

I smiled. "I'm getting that idea."

Kai snorted.

"What does that mean, Mommy?" said Tia.

"It means that I keep information to myself so that people don't worry about me, but sometimes I keep important information to myself that I shouldn't and it gets me in trouble."

"Like what?"

"If I had been more honest about how much pain I was in, Kai would have given me this other medication sooner and I wouldn't have been in as much pain."

Grace stopped trying to snap and looked at me. "That's why you always say to be honest. It's important, Mommy."

"Yes", I said with a sniffle. "You're right." I looked at the three girls and smiled. "And I am going to be very honest with you. I really need big monster hugs from all three of you."

The three little girls grinned and carefully, so that they didn't touch my legs, all piled on top of me. I laughed and gave them smacking kisses, and they laughed with relief. As they sat back, Tia looked at me with joy on her face. "You really are getting better, aren't you?" she said.

"I'm certainly trying."

"Mommy?" said Grace.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I'm happy."

I smiled. "I'm happy too." My stomach growled and the kids laughed. "And hungry, apparently." The kids laughed again. They sat along the head of the bed and leaned back against the headboard and kicked their feet against the mattress, and Ranger handed out bowls of fruit and cranberry-orange muffins and cheese. We had a good time. The kids told me jokes that I couldn't follow and pretended that I did, and I asked them about their days. They told me that Lindsay was teaching all the kids how to highland dance, and my mother and father were trying to learn as well. They said it was a lot of fun and that nobody laughed harder than my parents. Apparently, my dad laughed so hard that he gave himself hiccups. Lindsay even got my grandmother involved, and after dancing all morning she had to have a nap during the afternoon.

They said that Lindsay was going to teach them how to sword dance next, but that she was going to use broom handles instead of swords. She said it was safer.

The kids giggled their way through breakfast and, when they were finished, they gave me a show doing highland dances beside the bed. I laughed through the demonstration, but by the time the kids were finished, Kai knew that I was getting tired. He suggested that Ranger take the kids down to see Lindsay and, after Ranger and the kids all gave me a kiss, they left the room.

"Ready for some more painkillers?" said Kai.

"Hell yeah."

Kai laughed. "Numbers?"

"One for lungs, five for right leg and ten for left. But you know what? I had a good time with kids and that was the first time I haven't had to fake it since..."

"Christmas?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

Kai stared at me for a moment, then sighed. "You are the best faker I have ever met."

I smiled, but he could see the strain. He added the medication to the IV as I looked at him. Tears filled my eyes. "It's been hard, Kai. Ranger was shot."

"I know. How does that make you feel?"

I swiped the tears from my face. "Terrified." I closed my eyes against the dizziness, and minutes later I was asleep.