It had seemed as though mere minutes before when I let my heart unlock and tell someone of my feelings for them. Yep only awhile ago did I let my poor heart hang from a tree and be wacked at with a stick. Well more of a metal fan than a stick. It had really happened hours ago. Those hours will be locked in my memory for years to come, maybe even centuries.
I stop abruptly as I come to a waterfall. That cascading water and its song remind me of my unshed tears. Tears I will never shed for if I do, then I cannot deny it ever happened. And I can pretend being hopeful that he actually loves me back, can pretend as if it was just a bad dream that I will soon wake up sweating and worrying over. Yep, reality is harsh when it throws you these turns though.
Crouching down on a ledge above the falls, I think back to those hours, mere minutes to my heart, when I was layed bared and denied of his love. Of course he didn't mean to hurt me, you can't help who you love, right? Darn cliche, hate it because it is so true. I rest my head in my hands, letting my mask drop, melt through my fingers. Those tears that I don't want to come, come with a force that can even rival the fury of a woman's scorn. Amazing my sarcasm is still in tact. The reality that he is not mine and never will be, comes washing over like a tidal wave crushing a poor defenseless kid on the beach.
**Flashback**
"Tasuki! Tasuki!" I cried his name through tired lungs, I wanted to get his attention. Today would finally be the day I tell him, tell him that my heart thinks of only him.
"Hmm?" He shot me a fanged grin as he turned around. "Ah boy, I am glad ta see ya. Why was ya running though?"
I caught my breath and felt as if I was choking, the words seemed caught in my throat. Coughing shook my body as I tried desparately to get those words across. He came over and held me, worry was etched in his face. Without warning, the words became loose like a newborn bird and flew out, though not exactly in the way I wanted. "Tasuki, I love you!"
He stepped back, away from me and my heart. Confusion spread over his features. I never noticed how cute he was when he was confused. That tooth hanging out really adds to it. A smile almost made it on my face, that is until I remembered the situation.
He ran his hand through his hair, ever backing away more. Sweeping my arm out, my eyes begged him to stop, "Tasuki, please don't go. I'm sorry."
His amber eyes bore a hole in my face, he held up his hands in a defensive posture. "No, I mean, this can't be true. I don't like you that way. I return none of your feelings." All the while he kept backing up.
Moving my hand back towards my bleeding heart, I paused in my breath, wanting this to be a lie. "Tasuki..." My voice was a barely a whisper as I spoke that one word.
He silently pleaded with me to understand. Finally he stopped backing away, only to say something I have been trying to ignore. "I...I love Nuriko, I am really sorry." With those final words he ran off.
Watching him go, I found myself not at all surprised by that. For the past couple weeks, I had caught them both shooting glances at each other. My heart had chosen to omit those instances from memory. If only I had payed better attention, then I might not have spoken those words to him. Gazing at the spot where he once stood, I made a tedious effort to walk leisurely through the halls, or at least appear that way. As soon as I hit a door, I made a run for it.
**End Flashback**
Tearing myself back to the present...I thought about what he said. He really didn't mean for me to get hurt like that. God, why can't I stop crying. Tears just keep dripping down my hands, I might as be a statue. A depressed statue who looks as if their heart was shattered into a million pieces...as if they aren't enough of those around.
Glimpsing back doen at the waterfall, I notice something new. There aren't any jagged rocks at the bottom, not like at other ones when people hurdle themselves off the top into the rocks and water below. Hurdle themselves off....what a great idea.
Trying to stand up, I position myself over the top of the long drop I will soon find myself in. Clothes fluttering softly around my body, I try and prepare myself. How does one prepare themselves for the final plunge into death? Maybe I'll live...then again maybe not. I hope I don't.....I cannot face tasuki after this night.
Gazing upwards at the stars...I notice my constellation glowing faintly. It seems duller than the others, maybe it is a sign of my impending doom, or death. Can't really call it doom, it isn't a doom for me. Gods I hope Miaka won't be hurt by this, Tamahome will probably comfort her if she is. Sighing I tear my vision from the stars back towards the numbness that will envelope me.
Standing precariously on the edge with my toes barely hanging on. I once again look towards the stars. Tasuki's and Nuriko's are shinging as bright as ever, intertwining their light into one earth shattering glow. I sure pray for their happiness and that the love between them never fades and stays for eternity in their hearts.
Extending my arms wide, I welcome the air trying to veil me in its embrace, feel reassurence flood through me as the stray droplets of water collide with my face. Moments like this one, when pure calm overruns all of my senses, only come before death. I must do this now, embark on one last journey, death. I will watch over you Tasuki, I promise. I swear I will be your guardian angel.
Bidding one last farewell, I thrust myself foward, off of the safety of land. Spiraling towards the water, one with the waterfall, I behold a strange sight of arms open, waiting for me. With one last breath before I fall into those arms, into the watery depths below, I whisper their name. The name that belongs to those arms and the kind face now forming. He was always there to hold me, now he will hold me and carry me to death's loving arms. The whisper joins with the sounds of the pounding water, barely being heard by my own ears. One last word escaping from my mouth before the water crushes my body.
"Hikou."
**** At the palace
"Hmm.....that is odd, why did Chichiri's constellation flicker brightly before going out. It must be the clouds, that is all." Saying those words to himself, Chiriko settled snuggly into bed, completely unaware of the truth.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi
A/N: Did you like it? I personally hated it myself.....Chichiri and Tasuki seemed OOC to me.....heck even Chiriko seemed OOc to me and he just had one little paragraph. Depending on who read this and if anyone even reviews...I may write a sequel dealing with like Tasuki's feelings on what happened....I don't know...I shouldn't even post this....darnit. All well, if you guys are reading this that means I must've posted it......please review and no flames....just no....My house is warm enough really. On second thought...sure do flames...I don't care, just none about this being yaoi. Flames on yaoi will not be accepted because I will post yaoi in the summary to hopefully prevent you people who dislike yaoi from reading this and commmenting...I forgot to do that on another story and someone made big deal on it. Anyways R&R, ciao.
I stop abruptly as I come to a waterfall. That cascading water and its song remind me of my unshed tears. Tears I will never shed for if I do, then I cannot deny it ever happened. And I can pretend being hopeful that he actually loves me back, can pretend as if it was just a bad dream that I will soon wake up sweating and worrying over. Yep, reality is harsh when it throws you these turns though.
Crouching down on a ledge above the falls, I think back to those hours, mere minutes to my heart, when I was layed bared and denied of his love. Of course he didn't mean to hurt me, you can't help who you love, right? Darn cliche, hate it because it is so true. I rest my head in my hands, letting my mask drop, melt through my fingers. Those tears that I don't want to come, come with a force that can even rival the fury of a woman's scorn. Amazing my sarcasm is still in tact. The reality that he is not mine and never will be, comes washing over like a tidal wave crushing a poor defenseless kid on the beach.
**Flashback**
"Tasuki! Tasuki!" I cried his name through tired lungs, I wanted to get his attention. Today would finally be the day I tell him, tell him that my heart thinks of only him.
"Hmm?" He shot me a fanged grin as he turned around. "Ah boy, I am glad ta see ya. Why was ya running though?"
I caught my breath and felt as if I was choking, the words seemed caught in my throat. Coughing shook my body as I tried desparately to get those words across. He came over and held me, worry was etched in his face. Without warning, the words became loose like a newborn bird and flew out, though not exactly in the way I wanted. "Tasuki, I love you!"
He stepped back, away from me and my heart. Confusion spread over his features. I never noticed how cute he was when he was confused. That tooth hanging out really adds to it. A smile almost made it on my face, that is until I remembered the situation.
He ran his hand through his hair, ever backing away more. Sweeping my arm out, my eyes begged him to stop, "Tasuki, please don't go. I'm sorry."
His amber eyes bore a hole in my face, he held up his hands in a defensive posture. "No, I mean, this can't be true. I don't like you that way. I return none of your feelings." All the while he kept backing up.
Moving my hand back towards my bleeding heart, I paused in my breath, wanting this to be a lie. "Tasuki..." My voice was a barely a whisper as I spoke that one word.
He silently pleaded with me to understand. Finally he stopped backing away, only to say something I have been trying to ignore. "I...I love Nuriko, I am really sorry." With those final words he ran off.
Watching him go, I found myself not at all surprised by that. For the past couple weeks, I had caught them both shooting glances at each other. My heart had chosen to omit those instances from memory. If only I had payed better attention, then I might not have spoken those words to him. Gazing at the spot where he once stood, I made a tedious effort to walk leisurely through the halls, or at least appear that way. As soon as I hit a door, I made a run for it.
**End Flashback**
Tearing myself back to the present...I thought about what he said. He really didn't mean for me to get hurt like that. God, why can't I stop crying. Tears just keep dripping down my hands, I might as be a statue. A depressed statue who looks as if their heart was shattered into a million pieces...as if they aren't enough of those around.
Glimpsing back doen at the waterfall, I notice something new. There aren't any jagged rocks at the bottom, not like at other ones when people hurdle themselves off the top into the rocks and water below. Hurdle themselves off....what a great idea.
Trying to stand up, I position myself over the top of the long drop I will soon find myself in. Clothes fluttering softly around my body, I try and prepare myself. How does one prepare themselves for the final plunge into death? Maybe I'll live...then again maybe not. I hope I don't.....I cannot face tasuki after this night.
Gazing upwards at the stars...I notice my constellation glowing faintly. It seems duller than the others, maybe it is a sign of my impending doom, or death. Can't really call it doom, it isn't a doom for me. Gods I hope Miaka won't be hurt by this, Tamahome will probably comfort her if she is. Sighing I tear my vision from the stars back towards the numbness that will envelope me.
Standing precariously on the edge with my toes barely hanging on. I once again look towards the stars. Tasuki's and Nuriko's are shinging as bright as ever, intertwining their light into one earth shattering glow. I sure pray for their happiness and that the love between them never fades and stays for eternity in their hearts.
Extending my arms wide, I welcome the air trying to veil me in its embrace, feel reassurence flood through me as the stray droplets of water collide with my face. Moments like this one, when pure calm overruns all of my senses, only come before death. I must do this now, embark on one last journey, death. I will watch over you Tasuki, I promise. I swear I will be your guardian angel.
Bidding one last farewell, I thrust myself foward, off of the safety of land. Spiraling towards the water, one with the waterfall, I behold a strange sight of arms open, waiting for me. With one last breath before I fall into those arms, into the watery depths below, I whisper their name. The name that belongs to those arms and the kind face now forming. He was always there to hold me, now he will hold me and carry me to death's loving arms. The whisper joins with the sounds of the pounding water, barely being heard by my own ears. One last word escaping from my mouth before the water crushes my body.
"Hikou."
**** At the palace
"Hmm.....that is odd, why did Chichiri's constellation flicker brightly before going out. It must be the clouds, that is all." Saying those words to himself, Chiriko settled snuggly into bed, completely unaware of the truth.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi
A/N: Did you like it? I personally hated it myself.....Chichiri and Tasuki seemed OOC to me.....heck even Chiriko seemed OOc to me and he just had one little paragraph. Depending on who read this and if anyone even reviews...I may write a sequel dealing with like Tasuki's feelings on what happened....I don't know...I shouldn't even post this....darnit. All well, if you guys are reading this that means I must've posted it......please review and no flames....just no....My house is warm enough really. On second thought...sure do flames...I don't care, just none about this being yaoi. Flames on yaoi will not be accepted because I will post yaoi in the summary to hopefully prevent you people who dislike yaoi from reading this and commmenting...I forgot to do that on another story and someone made big deal on it. Anyways R&R, ciao.