The Evil That Men Do
Author: MeB (aka XanWill4Ever-Michael B)
Email: lenoxfiles@hotmail.com
Spoiler: Majority takes place in the summer after the First Season. There are scenes that takes place some time after Lovers Walk from Season 3. There may be some slight AU, but not much.
Summary: Willow loses her memory and finds help from a private investigator in Boston.
Disclaimer: The characters from Spenser For Hire belong to Robert Parker. All characters from Buffy tVS belong to Joss.
Rating - R - SL/V/AC xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxw
4
SUNNYDALE
Xander came to and he immediately regretted it. His head was pounding painfully and he soon discovered that his hands were bound tightly behind his back. He was tied securely to a beam in the center of the boat house. As he became fully aware of his surroundings, he also became aware that he was being watched.
Sunter was standing off to the side watching Xander. He grinned when Xander turned his head to look at him. "Well, it's about time," Sunter told his captive with a snort. "You've been out for a little more than an hour." He pointed at him and chuckled. "And you've drooled on yourself."
"Gee, thanks for noticing," Xander snapped sarcastically. "It's a habit I'm trying to break."
Sunter laughed at him. Then he waved a hand through the air. "Ah, don't worry about it. Besides, I'm going to do you a favor. I'm going to help you break every one of your bad habits. I'm sure you have a lot of them." He was holding something in his hand. He raised it and he shook it, causing it to make a rattling sound.
Xander didn't like the sound of that. "What are you talking about?" He tried to get a look at what the man was holding, but he couldn't see it clearly.
"I'm talking about your bad habits, boy. I'm going to make them all go away...with these." He shook the bottle of pills that he was holding in front of Xander's face. He smiled, watching Xander's face for a reaction.
"Wh-what are those...exactly?" Xander asked nervously.
"They're sedatives."
"Sedatives?"
Sunter nodded, still grinning. "Yeah. That's right."
"Uhm..." Xander chuckled nervously. "Wait a minute. You're going to make this look like a suicide. Is that it?"
"A suicide?" Sunter shrugged. "How am I going to do that?"
"C'mon! This is the oldest trick in the book! You're going to make me take those and then leave me somewhere with the empty bottle in my hand. You can't do this!"
He shrugged again. "Actually, I can do this. But...it's not going to happen exactly like you say it is."
Xander looked at him with morbid curiosity. "Uhm...Oh, wait! Then, you're going to commit suicide!" At least he could hope anyway.
Sunter shook his head. "Wrong again. You see, what I'm going to do is give you enough of these to keep you semi-conscious, but sedated enough where you are incapable of saving yourself." He chuckled as if he had an inside joke and wasn't going to share it with anyone.
"This sounds bad!" Xander exclaimed. "Incapable of saving myself? From what?"
He smiled. "From drowning."
"Drowning?" Xander looked at him with a panicked expression. "I'm going to drown?"
Sunter nodded his head. "Yes, you're going to drown, and I'm going to watch. You see, after I give you enough of these--" He shook the bottle of pills. "--I'll just wait for it to work in your system for a little while. Then, you and I are going to go for a little boat ride down the river. When we get to a reasonable location that is totally witness free, I shall simply drop you into the river and watch you drown."
Xander stared at him in horror. "What kind of a sick bastard are you?!" He swallowed a lump in his throat. "This is bad! This is really really bad!"
Sunter popped open the pills and he poured some out into his hand.
Xander watched him. He had to do something to stall for time. Then maybe a miracle would happen. "Hey!" he exclaimed nervously. "Are-are you really going to make me swallow those dry?"
Sunter placed the pill bottle into his pocket as he smiled at Xander. "It just so happens that I did bring a cooler full of beer."
"Oh, that's great! Uhm, what kind?"
Sunter grinned at him. "Does it matter?"
"I-I guess not. As long as it's a cold one," he said with a nervous laugh.
Sunter clapped him on the shoulder and then he walked over to the cooler he had placed on the floor hours before. He opened it. As he held onto the pills in one hand, he pulled out an ice cold can of beer with the other hand. Then he closed the cooler and walked back toward Xander.
Xander took a deep breath. "Look...before you pop the tab on that thing..."
Sunter looked at him. "What do you want, kid? I've got all night."
Xander was hoping that he had all night, too. "Can't a condemned man have a last request?"
Sunter tossed back his head and he laughed. "Hell, I like you, kid. You want a last request? Is that what you want?"
"A-actually, yes. I do."
"Aw, well..." Sunter shrugged his shoulders and he grinned at Xander. "Why the hell not? Just make it a reasonable request, boy. Like a smoke or something. There's no way I'm gonna go into the kitchen to cook you a last meal."
Xander shook his head. "Well, I won't ask you for a meal. And I don't want a smoke. I just want to know one thing." He tried hard not to glare at the man. "I just want to know what you did to Willow. At least tell me that."
Sunter regarded him for a moment. Then he let out a sigh and shrugged his shoulders. He chuckled. "You know what I'm going to do, kid? I'm going to tell you what I did to your pretty little friend and I'll tell you what I did to Kali, too." He winked at him. "Hell, they both made me a lot of money, but your red-headed girlfriend made me a lot more money than I would have thought possible." He laughed.
Xander stared at him. He felt sick to his stomach. "What...what are you talking about?"
"That's right, kid. I made me some money." He whistled. "I got me a whole whopping ten percent fee right off from the sale and then I got me a five thousand dollar bonafide bonus!" He grinned at Xander. "Hey, listen...that girl has made me more money than from the last two girls I sold from this camp last year."
Xander was horrified at what he was hearing. "You...you sold...you sold Willow?" He felt like he wanted to throw up. Where was Willow now? he wondered, if this mad man was even telling the truth. He was worst than the Master. "Wha...? What in God's name are you?"
"Hey, I'm just a man making a profit, kid." Sunter looked at him. "White slavery is a thriving business. And did you know that your friend Willow is a rarity? Girls like her are worth a fortune!" He nodded his head. "Oh, yeah, my friend. That's right. Long red hair. Pretty green eyes." He held up the pills in his hand to Xander. "I simply popped some of these babies into her soft drink and she was gone minutes later." He laughed. "I had to follow her back to her room, and for a minute there, I thought she was going to pass out in the corridor. She opened the door to her room and fell right inside. I came in behind her, scooped her up in my arms...and then I put her in a chest like the one you opened before I conked you one. I tied her up with a pair of stockings and I stuffed a gag in her mouth. You never know...she could have awakened. But I'm sure she didn't." He smiled. "Then I closed the chest up, locked it...and away she went." He shook his head at the memory. "Oh, I got my money and I promised to do my part for next year. And then you came along asking questions."
Xander couldn't believe what he was hearing. He felt his eyes begin to blur as he thought of Willow being sold like she was merchandise. "Oh, God...w-where is she, you bastard? Who did you sell her to? Where did she go?!"
"What does that matter to you? You'll never find her. You'll be dead soon."
"Tell me!!"
Sunter hesitated. "S'ushi Alyssia." He paused in thought. "That's who owns your pretty little red head now. She took her to Boston, but she had to drop off Kali at the Funhouse outside of LA first. But after that, who knows? And who cares?" He shrugged. "Does it really matter now?" He regarded Xander thoughtfully. "Hey...you wanna know something else that's unique about your friend? There's something else about her that makes her so rare to these people. You know what it is?" He smiled as he brought his face close to Xander's. He chuckled. "She's a virgin. Now I really do wish that I could have had at least a half hour or so with that girl myself, to be honest with you. Now be honest. You can't tell me that you haven't kissed that red head, huh? Or that you haven't wanted to spend some quality time with her. Eh?"
Xander struggled in vain against his restraints. "You son-of-a-bitch! All I really want to do is get my hands around your throat!!"
Sunter popped the tab of the beer and grinned at his captive. "Yeah, but it's just too bad that you can't." He chuckled.
"You're right. It sucks!" Xander ceased his struggles and then he appeared to resign himself to his fate. He let out a weary sigh. "I'd really love to get my hands around your neck right now...but I can't." He paused for affect. "So I'm gonna have to settle with watching him do it."
Sunter chuckled. And that's when he realized what Xander had just told him. He looked at him. "What did you say? You have to settle with watching 'him' do it? Who is 'him'?"
"I am him," growled a voice from behind him.
Sunter froze. He stared at Xander. "Uhm...did you just throw your voice?"
"Gee, let me think." Xander shook his head. "No."
Slowly, Sunter turned himself around and he wished that he hadn't. He found himself face to face with Angel.
Sunter puffed out his chest and glared. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded.
Angel's human face abruptly changed to that of his vampire face. "I'm someone you don't want to know."
Sunter screamed. ____________________________________________________
BOSTON
My life had changed drastically since I was told that I had six months to a year to live. I found myself looking for things to do to keep my mind occupied. I didn't want to actually confront my mortality just yet because as much as I hated to admit it...it scared the hell out of me.
Susan would tell me that I was in denial.
She would be right.
However, even if she were with me now instead of at some conference in Pittsburgh, I was certain that there wasn't anything she could do for me I couldn't do for myself. Besides, I wasn't ready to tell her just yet. If she had been home, I wouldn't be able to keep it from her for very long.
So...this thing they called cancer changed my life forever whether I was ready to face it or not. It was an ugly monster. It came into my world and in one full swipe, it tore at the very core of my being. So I was just beginning to believe that there was nothing in this world any more which could change my life for the better...even if it was for a short time. I was convinced that there was no hope. No joy. No blessings left of any kind. That maybe I had just used them all up and now my time in this life was over.
So I say again...
Cancer changed my life for the very worst, and there wasn't anything out there now to offer me any hope.
But that's when I met her.
And she proved me wrong.
There was hope. It came from a red-haired, green-eyed young lady by the name of Willow Rosenberg. The girl with the eyes of a keen mind and a kind heart. The girl who took abuse and came back surviving. The bravest little girl I have ever met.
When I first saw her, I didn't know her name. I didn't know who she was, nor what circumstances in her life had brought her here to Boston Memorial. All I saw was a pretty young girl lying in a hospital bed with I. V.'s hooked up to her small wrist. She was lying there with her eyes closed and she looked so peaceful. So beautiful.
This girl was going to change my life for the better.
I saw Quirk sitting in a chair by the bed as I entered the room. He saw me and he nodded a greeting.
I nodded back as I looked at the girl. "Frank said she was special," I said softly. "He was right. She does look special, doesn't she?"
Quirk nodded. "She is."
"I figure she has to be for you to assign two men outside her room," I observed. "And I'm also figuring that she has to be even more special for you to stay here with her all day."
Quirk rubbed at his eyes. "I'm...I'm just tired, Spense." He turned his head to look at the girl and there was pain in his eyes. A pain that spoke volumes about the many kids out there on the streets who hadn't been as lucky as the girl was. "God, I'm just so damned tired."
But he wasn't talking about sleep. "I know, Marty," I said gently. "But you can't save them all."
"Maybe not. But I can save this one and so can you."
"I'll do what I can."
Quirk looked at me. "Stay with her tonight. In the morning, I'd like for you to take her home with you and keep her safe."
I paused to think about what he was asking me to do. "Do we even know who she is? Who her parents are?"
"We don't know who she is, Spense. I had her prints run through the children's database and there were no matches. She doesn't talk when she's awake. All I heard her say once was a name. Kali."
"Is that her name, you think?"
Quirk shook his head. "No. She was saying it like she was looking for someone. Like she was calling out." He let out a weary sigh. "All we know about this poor kid now is that she's a living Jane Doe."
I looked at the girl. "How is she doing?"
Quirk paused. "Well...there were traces of Versed and Robinol in her blood. One drug is used to dull the memory...or even erase it, and the other drug is used to keep her conscious but sedated."
I didn't like the sound of that. "Conscious but sedated...And aware."
He nodded grimly.
"Was she...?" I stopped. Any other time, I would have asked bluntly whether the girl had been raped or molested in any way, but I didn't want to verbalize it while she was in the room. Conscious or not.
Quirk knew what I was asking anyway. He shook his head. "No, Spense. She was lucky in that." He paused. "It's my guess that whoever it was that was keeping her didn't want her to be touched." He frowned as he rubbed his eyes. "Spense...the drugs in her blood weren't the only things they found. She has what they describe as internal bruising. They believe that it means she was hit with something that was meant not to leave marks."
I clenched my teeth in anger and I swore under my breath. I looked at Jane Doe.
"The EKG's also showed signs of some kind of shock treatment."
I shook my head. "Anything else?"
"No."
I wished I knew who had done these things now because I would have gone after them right at that moment. But I didn't know, and I couldn't leave her when she needed me now. "Okay, Marty. She'll be safe now."
Quirk nodded his head. "If she's with you, I know she'll be safe. But you might have to keep her for awhile. The Doc tells me that the odds are not in her favor of having her memory returned."
I hesitated. "Look, Marty, I'm a pretty big guy. Don't you think she'll be afraid of me? If Susan were here--"
"No," he said with a shake of his head. "No, Spense, she won't be afraid of you. And it's actually better that Susan isn't here."
That surprised me. It must have showed, even though I am not so easily surprised by anything.
"The girl wasn't afraid of me. She wasn't even afraid of Frank if you can believe that. But there was a woman doctor and two women nurses who tried to help her when we first arrived." He glanced at the girl. "She was terrified of them."
I thought about that. "Did she scream or cry out? Did she say anything?"
He shook his head. "No. She just sat there, tensed up, and trembled. I'll never forget that look of terror on her face."
I guessed the rest. "So the women backed out of the room and a male doctor came in."
"With a male nurse."
"How did she respond then?"
"Better. She watched them, and there was still fear in her eyes, but not as bad." He shook his head in wonder. "She watched them and responded to them. Spense, she didn't even flinch when they put her I. V.'s in."
I tried to keep my expression normal as a sudden wave of pain struck me in the lower back. I closed my eyes and hoped it would just pass quickly, but it didn't. I clenched my teeth, placed my hand on the wall to steady myself and I opened my eyes. I hoped that Quirk would think I was just stretching.
He was looking at the girl so he didn't notice. For that, I was grateful.
For the girl, it was a different story. Her eyes were open and they were focused on me.
I thought I composed myself rather well. I thought about what she must have gone through and realized that whoever had tormented her had to have been a woman.
I tried to smile reassuringly at her as the pain subsided. "Hi," I managed to say with some resemblance of dignity.
Quirk looked at me with concern.
I cleared my throat and looked at the girl. "Hi," I said to her, a bit more clearly. "My name is Spenser."
Her eyes were not only pretty but they were very inquisitive as she looked at me. After she looked at me for awhile, she turned her head to look at Quirk. I got the impression she just wanted to know if he was still there.
Quirk said to me, "Hold your hand out to her."
I moved slowly toward the bed. I got to the girls side and I held out my hand toward her with my palm facing upward. She looked at my hand and then she looked up at me. I didn't know what was going through her mind. How could I possibly know? She reached for my hand and she grabbed it. When she looked up at me again, I could see tears forming in her eyes.
I knelt beside the bed so that I was level with her. "I'm here to help you," I said to her gently. "Do you understand?"
She nodded.
I wondered about why Quirk wanted me to stretch out my hand to her and I also wondered why she took my hand. Even now, she didn't seem to want to let go.
She looked at me one last time, and then she closed her eyes.
I looked at Quirk.
"What do you think that means?" he asked.
I shrugged. "I don't know." I looked at the girl thoughtfully. "Some kind of gesture that she responds to. Maybe from someone she knew."
"Maybe from Kali."
"Maybe."
After awhile, Quirk left. I sat in the chair beside her bed and watched over her as she slept. Throughout her restless sleep, she managed to keep a tight grip on my hand and she never let go.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
TO BE CONTINUED--
Author: MeB (aka XanWill4Ever-Michael B)
Email: lenoxfiles@hotmail.com
Spoiler: Majority takes place in the summer after the First Season. There are scenes that takes place some time after Lovers Walk from Season 3. There may be some slight AU, but not much.
Summary: Willow loses her memory and finds help from a private investigator in Boston.
Disclaimer: The characters from Spenser For Hire belong to Robert Parker. All characters from Buffy tVS belong to Joss.
Rating - R - SL/V/AC xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxw
4
SUNNYDALE
Xander came to and he immediately regretted it. His head was pounding painfully and he soon discovered that his hands were bound tightly behind his back. He was tied securely to a beam in the center of the boat house. As he became fully aware of his surroundings, he also became aware that he was being watched.
Sunter was standing off to the side watching Xander. He grinned when Xander turned his head to look at him. "Well, it's about time," Sunter told his captive with a snort. "You've been out for a little more than an hour." He pointed at him and chuckled. "And you've drooled on yourself."
"Gee, thanks for noticing," Xander snapped sarcastically. "It's a habit I'm trying to break."
Sunter laughed at him. Then he waved a hand through the air. "Ah, don't worry about it. Besides, I'm going to do you a favor. I'm going to help you break every one of your bad habits. I'm sure you have a lot of them." He was holding something in his hand. He raised it and he shook it, causing it to make a rattling sound.
Xander didn't like the sound of that. "What are you talking about?" He tried to get a look at what the man was holding, but he couldn't see it clearly.
"I'm talking about your bad habits, boy. I'm going to make them all go away...with these." He shook the bottle of pills that he was holding in front of Xander's face. He smiled, watching Xander's face for a reaction.
"Wh-what are those...exactly?" Xander asked nervously.
"They're sedatives."
"Sedatives?"
Sunter nodded, still grinning. "Yeah. That's right."
"Uhm..." Xander chuckled nervously. "Wait a minute. You're going to make this look like a suicide. Is that it?"
"A suicide?" Sunter shrugged. "How am I going to do that?"
"C'mon! This is the oldest trick in the book! You're going to make me take those and then leave me somewhere with the empty bottle in my hand. You can't do this!"
He shrugged again. "Actually, I can do this. But...it's not going to happen exactly like you say it is."
Xander looked at him with morbid curiosity. "Uhm...Oh, wait! Then, you're going to commit suicide!" At least he could hope anyway.
Sunter shook his head. "Wrong again. You see, what I'm going to do is give you enough of these to keep you semi-conscious, but sedated enough where you are incapable of saving yourself." He chuckled as if he had an inside joke and wasn't going to share it with anyone.
"This sounds bad!" Xander exclaimed. "Incapable of saving myself? From what?"
He smiled. "From drowning."
"Drowning?" Xander looked at him with a panicked expression. "I'm going to drown?"
Sunter nodded his head. "Yes, you're going to drown, and I'm going to watch. You see, after I give you enough of these--" He shook the bottle of pills. "--I'll just wait for it to work in your system for a little while. Then, you and I are going to go for a little boat ride down the river. When we get to a reasonable location that is totally witness free, I shall simply drop you into the river and watch you drown."
Xander stared at him in horror. "What kind of a sick bastard are you?!" He swallowed a lump in his throat. "This is bad! This is really really bad!"
Sunter popped open the pills and he poured some out into his hand.
Xander watched him. He had to do something to stall for time. Then maybe a miracle would happen. "Hey!" he exclaimed nervously. "Are-are you really going to make me swallow those dry?"
Sunter placed the pill bottle into his pocket as he smiled at Xander. "It just so happens that I did bring a cooler full of beer."
"Oh, that's great! Uhm, what kind?"
Sunter grinned at him. "Does it matter?"
"I-I guess not. As long as it's a cold one," he said with a nervous laugh.
Sunter clapped him on the shoulder and then he walked over to the cooler he had placed on the floor hours before. He opened it. As he held onto the pills in one hand, he pulled out an ice cold can of beer with the other hand. Then he closed the cooler and walked back toward Xander.
Xander took a deep breath. "Look...before you pop the tab on that thing..."
Sunter looked at him. "What do you want, kid? I've got all night."
Xander was hoping that he had all night, too. "Can't a condemned man have a last request?"
Sunter tossed back his head and he laughed. "Hell, I like you, kid. You want a last request? Is that what you want?"
"A-actually, yes. I do."
"Aw, well..." Sunter shrugged his shoulders and he grinned at Xander. "Why the hell not? Just make it a reasonable request, boy. Like a smoke or something. There's no way I'm gonna go into the kitchen to cook you a last meal."
Xander shook his head. "Well, I won't ask you for a meal. And I don't want a smoke. I just want to know one thing." He tried hard not to glare at the man. "I just want to know what you did to Willow. At least tell me that."
Sunter regarded him for a moment. Then he let out a sigh and shrugged his shoulders. He chuckled. "You know what I'm going to do, kid? I'm going to tell you what I did to your pretty little friend and I'll tell you what I did to Kali, too." He winked at him. "Hell, they both made me a lot of money, but your red-headed girlfriend made me a lot more money than I would have thought possible." He laughed.
Xander stared at him. He felt sick to his stomach. "What...what are you talking about?"
"That's right, kid. I made me some money." He whistled. "I got me a whole whopping ten percent fee right off from the sale and then I got me a five thousand dollar bonafide bonus!" He grinned at Xander. "Hey, listen...that girl has made me more money than from the last two girls I sold from this camp last year."
Xander was horrified at what he was hearing. "You...you sold...you sold Willow?" He felt like he wanted to throw up. Where was Willow now? he wondered, if this mad man was even telling the truth. He was worst than the Master. "Wha...? What in God's name are you?"
"Hey, I'm just a man making a profit, kid." Sunter looked at him. "White slavery is a thriving business. And did you know that your friend Willow is a rarity? Girls like her are worth a fortune!" He nodded his head. "Oh, yeah, my friend. That's right. Long red hair. Pretty green eyes." He held up the pills in his hand to Xander. "I simply popped some of these babies into her soft drink and she was gone minutes later." He laughed. "I had to follow her back to her room, and for a minute there, I thought she was going to pass out in the corridor. She opened the door to her room and fell right inside. I came in behind her, scooped her up in my arms...and then I put her in a chest like the one you opened before I conked you one. I tied her up with a pair of stockings and I stuffed a gag in her mouth. You never know...she could have awakened. But I'm sure she didn't." He smiled. "Then I closed the chest up, locked it...and away she went." He shook his head at the memory. "Oh, I got my money and I promised to do my part for next year. And then you came along asking questions."
Xander couldn't believe what he was hearing. He felt his eyes begin to blur as he thought of Willow being sold like she was merchandise. "Oh, God...w-where is she, you bastard? Who did you sell her to? Where did she go?!"
"What does that matter to you? You'll never find her. You'll be dead soon."
"Tell me!!"
Sunter hesitated. "S'ushi Alyssia." He paused in thought. "That's who owns your pretty little red head now. She took her to Boston, but she had to drop off Kali at the Funhouse outside of LA first. But after that, who knows? And who cares?" He shrugged. "Does it really matter now?" He regarded Xander thoughtfully. "Hey...you wanna know something else that's unique about your friend? There's something else about her that makes her so rare to these people. You know what it is?" He smiled as he brought his face close to Xander's. He chuckled. "She's a virgin. Now I really do wish that I could have had at least a half hour or so with that girl myself, to be honest with you. Now be honest. You can't tell me that you haven't kissed that red head, huh? Or that you haven't wanted to spend some quality time with her. Eh?"
Xander struggled in vain against his restraints. "You son-of-a-bitch! All I really want to do is get my hands around your throat!!"
Sunter popped the tab of the beer and grinned at his captive. "Yeah, but it's just too bad that you can't." He chuckled.
"You're right. It sucks!" Xander ceased his struggles and then he appeared to resign himself to his fate. He let out a weary sigh. "I'd really love to get my hands around your neck right now...but I can't." He paused for affect. "So I'm gonna have to settle with watching him do it."
Sunter chuckled. And that's when he realized what Xander had just told him. He looked at him. "What did you say? You have to settle with watching 'him' do it? Who is 'him'?"
"I am him," growled a voice from behind him.
Sunter froze. He stared at Xander. "Uhm...did you just throw your voice?"
"Gee, let me think." Xander shook his head. "No."
Slowly, Sunter turned himself around and he wished that he hadn't. He found himself face to face with Angel.
Sunter puffed out his chest and glared. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded.
Angel's human face abruptly changed to that of his vampire face. "I'm someone you don't want to know."
Sunter screamed. ____________________________________________________
BOSTON
My life had changed drastically since I was told that I had six months to a year to live. I found myself looking for things to do to keep my mind occupied. I didn't want to actually confront my mortality just yet because as much as I hated to admit it...it scared the hell out of me.
Susan would tell me that I was in denial.
She would be right.
However, even if she were with me now instead of at some conference in Pittsburgh, I was certain that there wasn't anything she could do for me I couldn't do for myself. Besides, I wasn't ready to tell her just yet. If she had been home, I wouldn't be able to keep it from her for very long.
So...this thing they called cancer changed my life forever whether I was ready to face it or not. It was an ugly monster. It came into my world and in one full swipe, it tore at the very core of my being. So I was just beginning to believe that there was nothing in this world any more which could change my life for the better...even if it was for a short time. I was convinced that there was no hope. No joy. No blessings left of any kind. That maybe I had just used them all up and now my time in this life was over.
So I say again...
Cancer changed my life for the very worst, and there wasn't anything out there now to offer me any hope.
But that's when I met her.
And she proved me wrong.
There was hope. It came from a red-haired, green-eyed young lady by the name of Willow Rosenberg. The girl with the eyes of a keen mind and a kind heart. The girl who took abuse and came back surviving. The bravest little girl I have ever met.
When I first saw her, I didn't know her name. I didn't know who she was, nor what circumstances in her life had brought her here to Boston Memorial. All I saw was a pretty young girl lying in a hospital bed with I. V.'s hooked up to her small wrist. She was lying there with her eyes closed and she looked so peaceful. So beautiful.
This girl was going to change my life for the better.
I saw Quirk sitting in a chair by the bed as I entered the room. He saw me and he nodded a greeting.
I nodded back as I looked at the girl. "Frank said she was special," I said softly. "He was right. She does look special, doesn't she?"
Quirk nodded. "She is."
"I figure she has to be for you to assign two men outside her room," I observed. "And I'm also figuring that she has to be even more special for you to stay here with her all day."
Quirk rubbed at his eyes. "I'm...I'm just tired, Spense." He turned his head to look at the girl and there was pain in his eyes. A pain that spoke volumes about the many kids out there on the streets who hadn't been as lucky as the girl was. "God, I'm just so damned tired."
But he wasn't talking about sleep. "I know, Marty," I said gently. "But you can't save them all."
"Maybe not. But I can save this one and so can you."
"I'll do what I can."
Quirk looked at me. "Stay with her tonight. In the morning, I'd like for you to take her home with you and keep her safe."
I paused to think about what he was asking me to do. "Do we even know who she is? Who her parents are?"
"We don't know who she is, Spense. I had her prints run through the children's database and there were no matches. She doesn't talk when she's awake. All I heard her say once was a name. Kali."
"Is that her name, you think?"
Quirk shook his head. "No. She was saying it like she was looking for someone. Like she was calling out." He let out a weary sigh. "All we know about this poor kid now is that she's a living Jane Doe."
I looked at the girl. "How is she doing?"
Quirk paused. "Well...there were traces of Versed and Robinol in her blood. One drug is used to dull the memory...or even erase it, and the other drug is used to keep her conscious but sedated."
I didn't like the sound of that. "Conscious but sedated...And aware."
He nodded grimly.
"Was she...?" I stopped. Any other time, I would have asked bluntly whether the girl had been raped or molested in any way, but I didn't want to verbalize it while she was in the room. Conscious or not.
Quirk knew what I was asking anyway. He shook his head. "No, Spense. She was lucky in that." He paused. "It's my guess that whoever it was that was keeping her didn't want her to be touched." He frowned as he rubbed his eyes. "Spense...the drugs in her blood weren't the only things they found. She has what they describe as internal bruising. They believe that it means she was hit with something that was meant not to leave marks."
I clenched my teeth in anger and I swore under my breath. I looked at Jane Doe.
"The EKG's also showed signs of some kind of shock treatment."
I shook my head. "Anything else?"
"No."
I wished I knew who had done these things now because I would have gone after them right at that moment. But I didn't know, and I couldn't leave her when she needed me now. "Okay, Marty. She'll be safe now."
Quirk nodded his head. "If she's with you, I know she'll be safe. But you might have to keep her for awhile. The Doc tells me that the odds are not in her favor of having her memory returned."
I hesitated. "Look, Marty, I'm a pretty big guy. Don't you think she'll be afraid of me? If Susan were here--"
"No," he said with a shake of his head. "No, Spense, she won't be afraid of you. And it's actually better that Susan isn't here."
That surprised me. It must have showed, even though I am not so easily surprised by anything.
"The girl wasn't afraid of me. She wasn't even afraid of Frank if you can believe that. But there was a woman doctor and two women nurses who tried to help her when we first arrived." He glanced at the girl. "She was terrified of them."
I thought about that. "Did she scream or cry out? Did she say anything?"
He shook his head. "No. She just sat there, tensed up, and trembled. I'll never forget that look of terror on her face."
I guessed the rest. "So the women backed out of the room and a male doctor came in."
"With a male nurse."
"How did she respond then?"
"Better. She watched them, and there was still fear in her eyes, but not as bad." He shook his head in wonder. "She watched them and responded to them. Spense, she didn't even flinch when they put her I. V.'s in."
I tried to keep my expression normal as a sudden wave of pain struck me in the lower back. I closed my eyes and hoped it would just pass quickly, but it didn't. I clenched my teeth, placed my hand on the wall to steady myself and I opened my eyes. I hoped that Quirk would think I was just stretching.
He was looking at the girl so he didn't notice. For that, I was grateful.
For the girl, it was a different story. Her eyes were open and they were focused on me.
I thought I composed myself rather well. I thought about what she must have gone through and realized that whoever had tormented her had to have been a woman.
I tried to smile reassuringly at her as the pain subsided. "Hi," I managed to say with some resemblance of dignity.
Quirk looked at me with concern.
I cleared my throat and looked at the girl. "Hi," I said to her, a bit more clearly. "My name is Spenser."
Her eyes were not only pretty but they were very inquisitive as she looked at me. After she looked at me for awhile, she turned her head to look at Quirk. I got the impression she just wanted to know if he was still there.
Quirk said to me, "Hold your hand out to her."
I moved slowly toward the bed. I got to the girls side and I held out my hand toward her with my palm facing upward. She looked at my hand and then she looked up at me. I didn't know what was going through her mind. How could I possibly know? She reached for my hand and she grabbed it. When she looked up at me again, I could see tears forming in her eyes.
I knelt beside the bed so that I was level with her. "I'm here to help you," I said to her gently. "Do you understand?"
She nodded.
I wondered about why Quirk wanted me to stretch out my hand to her and I also wondered why she took my hand. Even now, she didn't seem to want to let go.
She looked at me one last time, and then she closed her eyes.
I looked at Quirk.
"What do you think that means?" he asked.
I shrugged. "I don't know." I looked at the girl thoughtfully. "Some kind of gesture that she responds to. Maybe from someone she knew."
"Maybe from Kali."
"Maybe."
After awhile, Quirk left. I sat in the chair beside her bed and watched over her as she slept. Throughout her restless sleep, she managed to keep a tight grip on my hand and she never let go.
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