At the Heart of It All

by Val McCaffery

Chapt. 3: Hide 'n' Seek

"You're moving to Bellingham?" Frasier shouted. "Niles, are you out of your mind?!?"

"No need to get so snippy!" Niles retorted. "You moved all the way across the continent at one time, if I recall and no one questioned your sanity!"

Martin just sat silently in his chair absorbing everything going on around him. As usual, his eldest son was slashing his way through the verbal undergrowth of whatever situational jungle he found himself in with all the grace of a machete-wielding maniac. Martin preferred to coolly observe events from a distant vantagepoint, gleaning invaluable information from many different angles and then dispensing his sage judgements when people actually asked him for his advice. He never played his hand too soon. That was just his way.

"And Frasier's way is to expose every raw feeling of his, as if life was his personal confessional box," Martin pondered. "All under the guise of trying to supposedly clear the air."

"Have you reasoned this through at all?" Frasier bellowed at his brother. "What will you do? Set up a new practice? What about your patients here? Are you just going to abandon them?"

The questions sounded like a round of bullets from a Gatling machine gun. Frasier moved in for the kill. Drawing himself up to his full height, he tried to physically intimidate Niles by towering over him and staring him down coldly.

"I know I still have to work out a lot of details, " Niles indignantly replied with a terrier-like tenacity. "But as you pointed out to me not long ago, Dr. Berringer is already well established with my patients. I… I was thinking of handing my practice over to him permanently."

"And then what? Just what sort of job will you be employed at, Niles?" a derisive tone slid over Frasier's shoulder, as he turned towards the glass dining room table and poured himself a cup of coffee.

Martin shook his head.

"This could get nasty," he said to himself.

"I was thinking of... of teaching, if you must know," Niles announced with an equal measure of cautiousness and defiance.

Martin eyeballed his youngest son. He could plainly see Niles' chest beginning to heave unevenly under his impeccably tailored suit, as he tried to prepare himself for the inescapable onslaught of protest from his brother.

"Teach?" Frasier remained with his back to Niles. He took a sip of the coffee from his cup. There was an undeniable element of ridicule in his voice. "Youuu? Teeeach?"

"Come on Niles," coaxed Martin silently. "Stand up to Fraz. Show some spunk!"

"Yes," Niles defensively answered in rebuke, his hands clenched stiffly by his sides. "Me! Teach! There happens to be a very respectable college in Bellingham. And I do have lots of qualifications, you know! Plenty of qualifications! So there!" He finished the verbal flourish with a slight bounce on the balls of his feet as he leaned forward for emphasis.

"Atta boy! Way to put him in his place!" Martin gave a muted cheer and smiled.

He liked the fact that he saw certain elements of Niles' naturally sparky personality coming to life again. Not quite back in top form, but there was a trace of the old Niles beginning to emerge. Maybe Frasier was doing this on purpose? A "faux-fight" to draw his brother out of his emotional shell?

"Nah!" thought Martin. "Frasier isn't that clever. Probably just dumb luck!"

But then, surprisingly, just as quickly as Niles' bravado came rushing forth it unexpectedly collapsed.

"You could at least be somewhat supportive," he sulked suddenly, as he plopped down on the sofa, his head sinking into his hands. "I'd like to think that if the situation was reversed, I'd be there for you. You could at least do the same for me now."

"I knew he couldn't keep it up for too long," mused Martin. "But it was sure sweet while it lasted!"

Frasier spun around ready to attack further. When he beheld the pitiful site of Niles slouched on the couch in full whine mode his filial sensibilities quickly rose to the surface. He rushed to his brother's side and put a big, beefy arm around his shoulders. Martin observed this little dramatic tableau with continued interest. It slowly began to dawn on him that Niles had his own way of navigating through a Frasier argument barrage.

"Way to go, Niles! Hit him at his weakest point! Get his sympathy! Wait… wait… here comes the inevitable *forgiveness* hug." Their father gave a soft chuckle and shook his head. "Ah jeez, I could set this to music and dance to it!"

"Oh, Niles, I'm sorry," Frasier said with more than just a little twinge of guilt. The predicted brotherly embrace followed immediately. "I didn't mean to make you think that I wouldn't be there for you. I'm just worried, that's all. Don't you think it's just a bit rash leaving Seattle at this point in your life?"

"Frasier, I'm sorry too if I've given you any reason to be distressed, but remember you were the one who told me that I had to commence with some type of healing. You said that I had to stop just sitting around the Montana and obsessing about... thinking about D... Daphne." Niles faltered a bit, but kept on going. Although Martin managed to retain his stoic exterior, he felt an unexpected pang of empathy for his younger son. He knew from hard personal experience, it wasn't easy talking to others about this sort of grief. "Last night... well, she helped... when I read… it's just that, I..." Niles took a gulp of air, " …I finally decided that the best way to get myself back on track was to get a fresh start! After I spoke to you on the phone today, I called the condo board and told them I would be moving out of my place when my lease was up by the end of the summer."

The last few words were said in a rush. Frasier's mouth dropped open.

"So soon?" he asked with consternation. "That gives you only about two months. What's the hurry?"

"Because I want to, that all," justified Niles. "I can't give you any better reason right now than that. You'll just have to accept that as an answer. Besides, stop acting like Bellingham is that far away. It's only about an hour and a half drive at the most. I'll probably see you just about as much as I do now. Isn't that right, Dad?"

"But, Dad, don't you think that this is too much of a change?" Frasier implored. "Don't you think he should wait a while before disrupting my… our… I mean, his life so much?"

His two sons looked over at Martin simultaneously, both expecting his seal of approval on their very divergent views.

"Ahhh!" thought Martin. "Here's where I get to contribute! King Solomon Crane to the rescue!"

"Fraz, I know you have your brother's best interest at heart and we all appreciate your concern for him, but Niles is right on this one," Martin held his hand up in a stopping motion to end Frasier's counter arguments before they began. Frasier's gapping mouth closed shut at his father's unspoken command. "Bellingham isn't that far away. It'll give us a good excuse to get out of the city more often. It's north of Seattle, isn't it Niles?"

The look on Niles' face wasn't exactly triumphal, but Martin could have classified it as being just a bit smug. His whole disposition perked up at the sound of Martin's morale-bolstering words.

"Yes, Dad, right on the coast. The college is called Western Washington University. They have a very good Grad School there. I was thinking of teaching something like counseling or psychotherapy. I've already made some initial inquiries this morning and there just happens to be a rather sudden opening because of an illness of one of the faculty members…"

Now it was Frasier's turn to glower on the sofa, while Niles began to chatter on with growing enthusiasm. Martin just nodded his head and listened intently to his younger son's future plans.

"This is good for him," he contemplated, as Niles prattled on. "It's the first time I've heard some life in his voice since Daphne took ill. God! I miss her! I gotta think that Niles is missing her at least ten times that much. Yeah, Frasier's probably right. Niles might be running away from his pain by leaving Seattle, but maybe that's what he needs at this point in time."

"That's great, Niles. Sounds like you have lots to do in the next little while, son."

"Yes I do, Dad and that reminds me - I should be going. I have already faxed my c.v. to the university and expect to hear back shortly, if I make the first cull. I am going up to Bellingham this week, to have a look around at the campus - you know, just to familiarize myself with the surrounding area to be prepared. A colleague of mine once taught for a brief stint in the psychology department at the university and has offered to show me around town. He mentioned that he had once heard some professors discussing an article I wrote a few years ago on introversion and extroversion in siblings. So the name 'Niles Crane' may not be altogether unfamiliar to the folks at Western Washington University!"

Niles' head tilted back in pride. There was a definite hint of self-satisfaction in his demeanor.

"Well just remember, you haven't got that job yet!" Frasier scowled. If you go getting too excited and you don't get hired, then it will be quite a disappointment."

Niles' eyebrows arched at that comment. He glanced over at Frasier.

"Yes, well, I'd better be off before "Mister Merry Sunshine" spreads any more pixie dust around. Hopefully I'll hear back from the applicant selection committee very soon. Dad, Frasier – maybe by the fall you'll be addressing me as "Professor Crane"! "

And with that he picked up his coat and made his retreat before Frasier could say anything else.

Bang! As soon as the door shut Frasier exploded.

"Dad!" Frasier barked. "Do you really think it was wise agreeing with him like that!"

"Now, Frasier, wait a minute," interjected Martin. "Just stop and think. You know as well as I do that the last time we saw him so eager about – well, about anything, was before Daphne got sick. I just want the poor kid to have something to light a fire in his eyes again. If planning this kind of thing is going to do it, then let's give him our support."

"Dad, I still think he is hiding from his feelings rather than facing them head on. The best course of action would be for him to see a therapist. Then he can get the help he needs, instead of remaining in denial and going off on a wild goose chase like this. If he doesn't get the job, which I think is a distinct possibility, he might just fall apart totally this time! And who do you think will have the oh-so pleasant job of picking up the pieces of his shattered psyche?"

Martin looked up at Frasier through the top part of his glasses, "Well, let me see," he said with a tone that was meant to bring Frasier down a peg or two. "I'm not entirely sure, but I'd guess all the members of his loving family?"

"All right, Dad!" Frasier huffed. "Point taken! You know what I meant! O.k., o.k. we'd both be back to square one with him, only this time he just might not be able to pull out of that kind of psychological tailspin! I can't in good conscience, both as a psychiatrist and a brother, support him taking such an enormous risk. Too much is at stake! For God's sake, Dad, it's Niles we're talking about! I care about him too much to sit by and see him be destroyed!"

Frasier turned his face away from Martin, but his father didn't need to see his features to know that he was overcome by the intense feelings of devotion that he had for his little brother. Martin rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat.

"I know, Fraz," he quietly said. "I love him too."

Frasier slowly pivoted around until his gaze met his father's.

"But," Martin added, "it sounds to me that you are assuming that he won't get the teaching job. If he gets it, that couldn't be bad, could it? He'd have to feel pretty good about himself then, right?"

"I don't think there is much of a chance of that happening," Frasier reminded him. "It sounds like a fairly big long shot."

"Well, I don't know 'bout that," Martin said. "But long shot or not, what if he does do it?"

"All right, Dad," Frasier acquiesced. "Let's say, for the sake of argument, that he actually succeeds at this. What then?" Martin started to open his mouth, but Frasier just charged ahead with his thesis. "Well, I'll tell you – I think that would be just about as dangerous. I don't think he is ready to deal with any more major changes in his life, at this point. Moving to an unfamiliar city and tackling a brand new career would just create more stress on him, not less. It just makes sense to eliminate stress, not increase it."

Martin shook his head. "That may make sense to you but it doesn't mean that's the only answer. Staying put and seeing a shrink would be your way of handling things, but you're not your brother and you haven't gone through what he has. Niles reacts to things very differently than you sometimes. I think he needs a goal to work towards, a new challenge to get him out of his rut. You know as well as I do, that he was going down the tubes anyway and there didn't seem to be anything or anyone able to help him. We all tried, but nothing was working. And besides, you can't force him to see someone if he doesn't want to! At least with the idea of moving to Bellingham he's doing something constructive for himself. If he doesn't get the job, we'll deal with that when it comes up. You don't know for sure that he'll be worse off than before. Time is one of the things that heals this kind of wound. I know, trust me. While he is so happily planning for this move, time is ticking away. Even if it doesn't work out, he may realize that he still has to get on with his life in the end. And this may be his way of making that adjustment. It's just not your way that's all. You can't solve his problems with your solutions."

"The passage of time could help him accept his circumstances, I suppose, but I still say that even if he gets the job it's not ideal. What if he runs into a dilemma that overwhelms him? What if – " Frasier protested.

Martin cut him off.

"Well, if he gets the job, then we will just have to visit often enough to keep an eye on him, won't we?" Martin prudently counseled. "He couldn't have a better person on his team than you, in that regard. You're a shrink. You'll be able to tell when he's in trouble in that department. I know you care, but he has to do this his way. Having those types of big changes doesn't always have to have a negative impact on a person. I mean, it was an effort, at first, for me to move in with you after your mother died and I got shot, but that worked out all right, didn't it?"

Frasier sat down on the couch with a decided "oomph"! He wasn't quite ready yet to completely surrender, but Martin noted that there was far less animation in his argument.

"Yes, I guess you're right, Dad. That was a big change in both of our lives, but we adjusted eventually."

"I mean, I wasn't the easiest person to live with back then."

"Well, the important thing is that we learned to respect each other's differences, right Dad?"

"And God knows, you weren't a picnic to live with either!"

"Yes, Dad. I get your point!"

"What with your fussiness and always making a big "to-do" about things."

"All right, Dad!"

"You always have to have everything your way… "

"Eeenough!"

Martin pursed his lips, glared at Frasier and then refocused. "Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is, that it was a big change for both of us and we were under additional stresses too, at that time, but the change did us some good. The same could be true for Niles. No need to cut the legs out from under him before he even gets started. At least he is trying to find a solution."

"Well, when you put it that way," Frasier said thoughtfully, "I guess it is an improvement to what he has been doing in the past month. He does seem to be in better spirits."

"Great! Glad we got that settled. Now where did that dog of mine go? I gotta take him for a walk! Eddie!"

As Martin wandered off in search of his four-legged pal, he could hear Frasier in the distance pick up the phone and furiously punch in some numbers.

"Hello, Roz? You'll never guess what Niles just told me… "

"Dinner is on me tonight!" Niles crowed, as he strode through the doorway of Frasier's apartment several weeks later. "We'll celebrate by going to Le Cigare Volant. Oh - and Dad, don't forget you have to wear a tie, not just bring one in your pocket."

"I take it all went well then?" Martin knowingly asked with a grin. He had to admit Niles' excitement was contagious.

"When either one of those guys are happy about something, they're like little kids with a shiny, new toy!" he observed.

"You might say that," Niles said fairly bursting with zealous delight. "All the signs are very positive. I just got the letter today telling me that I have been short-listed! They want to meet with me for an interview! They will let me know in a few weeks exactly when to come to Bellingham to see the hiring panel. I think what did the trick was the large of a number of published articles that I listed, especially the ones in the American Journal of Psychiatry. But enough about that right now! I'm famished and you two aren't even presentable! Come on Frasier, dépêchez-le vers le haut! We have to leave fairly soon, if we are going to make it to the restaurant on time, what with all the cross-town traffic at this hour! I'll drive. Chop, chop, Dad! Let's go!"

Niles could barely contain himself on the way to Le Cigare Volant. Martin couldn't help but notice that Frasier was uncharacteristically quiet in the back seat of the Mercedes as they drove through the busy streets. He didn't say very much, other than the odd "Yeah, I guess so" or "Riiiight" and even then, only when he was asked a direct question. Martin kept casting an occasional look at Niles to see if he noticed Frasier's dark mood, but he was completely unaware of the gathering storm buckled in behind him, as he chattered on about the up coming interview.

By the time they got to the restaurant and the meal was underway, Martin, sensing the impending tempest, had made a couple of valiant efforts to steer the conversation in other directions, but Niles had met all his attempts with oblivious disregard.

"Really Dad!" Niles scoffed. "Could you be any more self-absorbed! I'm sure you think that clipping your toenails is an event of gargantuan proportions, but there are more important things happening! Now, where was I? Oh yes, I was explaining to you the makeup of the psychology department at WWU…"

Martin rolled his eyes.

"I give up!" he thought. "You're on your own, buddy!"

And then, as if he could sense that Martin had deserted Niles' side, Frasier struck.

"What about your dearth of teaching experience at the college level?" he interrupted. "How will that blemish look on your résumé, Niles?"

Niles' eyes narrowed at the word "blemish", but it still would take more than that broadside to bring him down from his euphoric perch.

"Well, I'm not sure it is a blemish," he assured Frasier. "I have a very respected reputation in my field. My research credentials are impeccable.

I have a feeling that they were particularly impressed with that! And besides, I can always make sure that I mention that my fellowship at Cambridge involved a lot of teaching of undergrads, if that is brought up. I made it clear on my résumé that I was a seasoned veteran at lecturing to a wide range of audiences and I had many seminars and specialist workshops also under my professional belt."

"And you think that type of BS will get you through?" Frasier commented dryly.

Niles' eyebrow did an acrobatic summersault, but he managed to remain outwardly composed for the most part.

"Well, I know it was years ago, but they don't really seem that concerned about that aspect." Niles conceded. "Like I said, they are much more interested in someone who can initiate research and get published."

"Indeed!" was Frasier's only response.

"But that's all right really," Niles continued. "I always enjoyed the scholastic side of things and research is nothing that I can't handle."

Martin thought he could hear Frasier muttering under his breath something that sounded like, "What an ego!"

Niles looked up from his plate, "Sorry, I didn't catch that, Frasier. What did you say?" There was a hint of suspicion in his tone of voice. Martin shot a warning look at Frasier.

"Go easy on him, Fraz," Martin signaled with his eyes. "Remember our little talk."

"I said," as Frasier paused for a fraction of a second, "Way to go, Niles! By the by, just when will you hear if you succeed in getting to the next level?"

"I should know by the end of the month," Niles revealed, his voice again rising in anticipation at the prospect of being victorious. "I know it usually take a lot longer than that for one of these university level job searches, but the vacancy was rather sudden and it is a bit of an emergency filling really. If that goes well, then I can begin hunting for a place to live by the end of the summer."

Frasier's mouth noticeably tightened. He looked like he had been slapped in the face.

"Frasier, why don't you plan on going with Niles up to Bellingham to help him," Martin interposed. "He probably could use the company and you guys have such similar tastes and everything."

"Oh, I don't know, Dad," Frasier said with a nuance of irritation. "Niles seems to have this already planned out so thoroughly. He doesn't particularly seem to need any help from me."

Niles' nose wrinkled up, as if he had tasted a bad clam.

Martin's gaze shifted back and forth between his two sons. The moment seemed to last for an interminable length of time.

"Come on Niles," Martin urged introspectively. "Cut your brother a little slack and give him something to hang onto."

"Frasier, I'd love to have you come along," Niles said at last. " You know how I trust and respect your judgement. Just so long, as you understand that is a place for me to live, not you. It has to satisfy my needs and requirements."

"Good boy, Niles!" judged Martin. "Just the right amount of encouragement, but tempered with a conditional warning to set things straight right from the get-go. Masterfully done, son."

"Well, of course, Niles," Frasier replied haughtily. "Whatever you say! I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Nice touch, Fraz!" thought Martin with amusement. "You agree with him and at the same time, you put him in his place. This is like watching a boxing match with two pro heavyweights "duking" it out! Well, maybe the comparison doesn't work exactly, but… a guy can dream. Things seem to have settled down somewhat for now, although I get the feeling that we haven't seen the end of this yet. I guess this is where should I come in...."

"All right boys, how 'bout if we just order some coffee and… Hey, is that the dessert tray?"

After two solid days of constant downpour, Niles embraced the early morning sunlight as a welcome reprieve when he went to gather his mail on the last Monday of the month. As he opened the box he saw a thin, crisp envelope with the Western University logo on it. Niles hurried back to the safe confines of his apartment before tearing into the much-anticipated correspondence. There it was, in black and white, a request for his presence on the fifteenth of the next month to attend the hiring committee interview. The reality of the situation suddenly hit Niles like a lightning bolt. In a flash the bombast and boasting, that was so publicly evident only a few weeks before at Le Cigare Volant, vanished. Here, alone in his apartment, with no audience about, he began to feel a rising trepidation that, until now, he had tried valiantly to bury under a façade of exhilaration and arrogance. His breathing became ragged, as he daubed some small beads of perspiration nervously from his upper lip and braced himself on the arm of the couch for support. The opened note dropped to the floor from his trembling hands.

"My God!" he said to himself. "This actually is happening to me… me! I feel like I'm flying without a parachute. I'll be by myself in a new city. Alone! I h… haven't lived in another place, other than Seattle, since I did my graduate work at Yale… that was years ago! If I get this position, I have to move and handle a totally different career as well! Wh… what am I getting myself into! I know… I know I want this, but…"

Niles closed his eyes and made a concerted effort to concentrate on inhaling and exhaling more evenly. He began to invoke a litany of familiar images and incantations to quell his panic attack.

"That's it, breathe slowly… there, that's better... It is just a little unnerving that's all. That's why you're getting all excited… You know this is what you want to do. Daphne… Daphne would be so proud of me. I can almost hear her saying it now – 'Look at you! Look at what you've done! Come here, sweetie!' She can help me get through this."

Niles touched his cheek. He could feel Daphne's approving kiss on his face. A soothing sensation surged through him. His fears subsided as quickly as they had arisen. Calmer now, he wiped an errant tear from his face, opened his eyes and retrieved the interview notice from the carpet. He took one last, deep intake of air into his lungs and stood up.

"Right! I'd better get going. There's so much to be done if I am going to be properly prepared. It's my last chance to get them to see why I am the best person for the job! I do want this!" Niles said out loud, to no one but himself, as he grabbed his coat and locked the front door.

He couldn't find all his answers in that note, but it was a start.

"I was the last candidate that they saw," Niles said with an anxious edge in his voice.

"Do you think you got it?" inquired Roz, leaning in towards him over the table at the Café Nervosa. "When will you find out?" She eagerly allowed herself to be caught up in his fervor.

"The little weenie can be endearing sometimes," she reckoned. "Especially when he is all hyper about something."

"I should be informed in about another week." Niles' voice quivered when he spoke. "I think it went extremely well, if I must say so myself! The lecture that I gave was interesting and there was a lively question and answer period after with the students. The interview with the members of the committee went smoothly. I don't want to jinx it, but I think the dinner I had with the dean was the pièce de résistance!"

"Well, that's just dandy, Niles," intoned Frasier flatly.

"Wow, that wasn't even polite, fake excitement," thought Roz. "Could Frasier really be having such a hard time getting used to the idea of 'life without Niles'? Or is this a matter of jealousy? God knows it wouldn't be the first time those two were in some kind of weird competition. Even when they aren't knowingly trying to beat each other, it's still a 'my dick is bigger than your dick' contest. It's so pathetic!"

"So, Niles, what type of a place are you looking for in Bellingham?" Roz asked. "Do you want to rent or own this time? I hear the real estate can be just about as pricey as Seattle – no matter what, it's gonna cost you some bucks."

"Oh, I don't know Roz," Niles debated. "I haven't made up my mind entirely. I'd like to own something, but even if I get the job, it will be a temporary position at first, so maybe renting would be the best plan."

Roz nodded her head in acknowledgement. What he said seemed to make sense to her.

"What?" Frasier squeaked. "It's just a temporary position?"

Roz scrunched up her face. "Oh, God, here it comes," she thought. "This just the type of thing that Frasier would latch onto."

"Well, yes," said Niles apprehensively. "I thought you understood that. I'll be joining the temporary faculty pool. It's just a short term contract and would have to be renewed every year."

Frasier just sat there, staring at his brother with his mouth open, like the "Catch of the Day" on the bottom of a fishing trawler.

"But," Niles added hastily, "they said that if I get the job and I do well enough, I could be up for a "tenure track" position sometime in the future, if conditions are right. I also heard that with the current shortage of teachers, the chances of my contract being renewed, although not automatic, is pretty good."

"This is unbelievable!" Frasier shouted at the top of his lungs.

Roz half-considered telling him bluntly that everyone was staring at him and that he should sit down and shut up, but before she could say anything he continued with his tirade.

"You have lost your mind! You're giving up a stable profession and a comfortable lifestyle in your hometown to… to… to do what? Traipse off to… to… Bellingham, of all places!!" Frasier sputtered. "Why it doesn't even have a decent symphony!"

Niles sat stunned, immobilized by Frasier's attack, blinking his eyes at his brother.

Roz jumped in. Being a mother had greatly improved her sympathy factor. "Frasier, give the guy a break – "

But the floodgates were opened and Frasier wasn't about to let Roz impede the torrent of his passionate indignation.

"A break?" Frasier could barely contain himself. "A break? Nooo, I tried, but this, this has gone toooo far! Are you aware of what you are about to do Niles? You aren't playing some kind of a game here! This is your life… your future we are talking about, man!"

Niles remained silent. Roz couldn't tell if he was absorbing what Frasier had said or not. The look on Niles' face was just vacant, empty of any real expression.

"God, I wish Martin was here!" Roz thought. "He'd straighten this out in a minute!

"Frasier, calm down," Roz said in a hushed tone. "People are wondering what's the matter with you!"

"What's the matter with me!" Frasier's voice pitched even higher. "It's not me, it's him! After all that has happened to him in the past little while and he decides that the best course of action is to abandon a secure medical career for a makeshift "temp" job! Then, as if that weren't bad enough, he ups and moves away from his friends and family! It's like he thinks he is the only one who was hurt in all this!"

With this barbed chastisement ringing in his ears, Niles dropped his head and cast his eyes downward. His mouth became drawn into a taut frown. His fingers began to fidget and twitch. Roz pitifully reached out and wrapped her hands around his, to still the frenzied movement. She wasn't quite sure whether Niles was more angered or wounded by Frasier's close-to-the-bone lambasting, but she knew that something in him was about to snap and there would be one hell of an explosion, one way or another.

She looked up pleadingly at Frasier and hissed, "All right, that's enough! Can't you see you're upsetting him? And you're making a complete jackass of yourself, to boot!"

"No, Roz!" Frasier barreled ahead, heedless of the warning. "It needs to be said. Niles is making one of the biggest mistakes of his life!"

With that final judgement, Niles suddenly rocketed out of his chair with such force that it tipped back and crashed to the floor with a clatter. The entire coffeehouse turned their collective heads to watch the show. Roz buried her face in her hands.

"Oh, God!" she moaned to herself. "Here it comes! The Crane boys' version of a fist fight! Just don't let there be any hairpulling!!

"Well!" Niles exclaimed. "I am sorry to hear you think that brother! I just happen to disagree. And I'm not going to sit here and listen to you stomp all over my decisions any longer! If I get that teaching job at Western, I'll consider myself pretty fortunate – temporary or not! And if I am chosen, I'm moving to Bellingham and that's all there is to it! So rant away, Frasier, all you want! You'll be just talking to yourself, because I'm leaving!"

Not waiting for a reply, Niles sprinted out the door of the café, elbows flying and head held high. Frasier, gasped with indignation and started to say something, but suddenly caught himself. A small, shrewd smile crept across his face. He looked towards the exit and raised an eyebrow.

"You can't let him leave like that!" spit Roz. "Go after him, Frasier!"

"Noooo," said Frasier rather smugly. "I think he'll be back."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked.

Without saying a word, Frasier got up, went to the doorway and lifted Niles' Armani coat off the rack with a know-it-all look.

"You two have done this sort of thing before, haven't you?" laughed Roz. "What's next?"

"Me, apologizing," said Frasier contritely. "But first –"

With perfect timing Niles reappeared and made a reach for his coat. Frasier pulled back just at the precise moment his brother stretched out his hand. Niles looked expectantly at his brother for a recantation. Frasier willingly complied.

"Niles," said Frasier remorsefully. "I'm sorry. I should have been more considerate of your feelings. To be honest, it's just that I am having a very difficult time dealing with the fact that you may be leaving soon. Can we talk?"

All Roz heard, as they walked out of the café together, was Niles saying appropriately enough, "Oh, go ahead, I'm listening… "

"Dad, I think now I have come to the realization, that this is really more about my fears of losing Niles, than him running away from his problems. I know he still has a lot of unresolved issues as to just why he is doing this, but after our little talk the other day at Nervosa, I feel more reassured that he isn't turning his back on us… well, O.K. – me!" Frasier corrected himself off of Martin's knowing glance.

"So you're better with this now, right?" quizzed his father.

"I'm working on it – yes," Frasier said signaling his capitulation.

"Well, I guess it's safe to tell you then, that Niles called and told me that he got the teaching job at Western. They notified him this morning," Martin held his breath and waited for a response.

"Why that little weasel! He didn't even have the courage to tell me to my face! I ought to - "

"Now, Fraz, it's hysterics like this that just proves your brother was right in giving me the message."

Frasier halted his histrionics. "You're right, Dad, of course! I… I said I was working on perfecting my acceptance of his departure. I didn't say I had gotten to the point where I am completely comfortable with the idea."

"Well, practice makes perfect," Martin muttered and then in a little louder voice he said, "It's the effort that counts, son. And speaking of efforts, I want you to promise me you're going to make a big one, because Niles is on his way over here right now. I don't want a scene with him. All right, Frasier?"

"Yes, Dad, understood. I promise. But it won't be easy because he can be so insufferable when –"

"Frasier!"

Once Niles had secured the faculty post, he had to resolve the question about what type of a place he was going to reside in. He had plenty of funds at his disposal. Niles had set aside a large portion of the money that he garnered from the sale of his practice to Dr. Berringer, which was a tidy sum, to be used towards his new residence. After a week of thoughtful deliberation, he finally announced to Frasier and Martin that he had settled on buying a house in Bellingham, instead of renting or leasing. The reason for this determination was never really made very clear to his family. How could Niles elucidate his rationale to others, when he himself wasn't too sure of the logic behind his decision?

Frasier had to bite his tongue several times on the ride to Bellingham, but he kept his promise to Martin, not to vex Niles any further about his choices. For this small mercy, Niles was eternally grateful to his older brother. Just to be on the safe side though, Niles made sure that Martin accompanied them, so there could be neutral third party to mediate disputes, if the need arose.

"We can make this a family outing," their father proclaimed cheerily from the back seat of Niles' Mercedes, on the ninety-mile drive north, along the coast of Washington State. "Just like when you guys were kids!"

"Right, Dad," agreed Niles in an equally breezy tone. "Except you didn't have to remind us to use the facilities before we started out!"

Frasier just grunted "Yeah, loads of fun," and looked out the window.

The real estate agent had a whole slate of houses for them to look at. Frasier eventually broke down and admitted to Niles that he was impressed by the quality of the splendid homes on some of the finest waterfront property he had ever seen. In fact, Niles noticed that as the day wore on, Frasier began to get into the swing of things and enjoyed himself. First they viewed several houses on Bellingham Bay leading out into Puget Sound, all of which had various sizes of boathouses or docks made to accommodate a wide selection of luxury vessels. Later that morning they went further inland to Lake Whatcom and saw a selection of other buildings that were just as opulent. These had a more rustic, rugged northwestern appeal, with towering windows, cathedral ceilings and large natural stone fireplaces.

"Oh, Niles!" gasped Frasier. "This one is magnificent! Come see this vista!"

Niles smiled and shook his head. Nothing could distract Frasier from one of his blue moods like shopping for big-ticket items!

Martin just whistled in amazement and said little except, "How much is this one?"

But as Niles looked at these imposing structures he found himself vaguely discouraged with what he was seeing. None of them spoke to him.

"Just what do you want them to say to you?" questioned Martin.

"I want one of them to say 'Niles, you're home!' " he replied.

He was beginning to think he would have to return another day to continue his quest, when, in the waning hours of the afternoon, the broker took them to their final destination and his prayers were answered

He found what he was looking for in the Eldridge Historical District, a gracious, well-treed, residential area situated on the bluffs, high above Bellingham Bay.

It was a dwelling that Niles knew intuitively was another piece of the puzzle to his future. This could be a refuge where he would be able to find some answers to fill the gapping emptiness inside him. "Daphne would have loved this place!" he thought. "But there aren't the specters of sadness like at the Montana." Maybe this was the happiness that she had eluded to when she came to visit him that night.

"Good choice, very good choice!" said the agent as they strolled around the property. "This is the Canfield House. It's one of Bellingham's finest historic homes. Built in 1893, this restored Queen Anne styled Victorian dwelling, has four bedrooms, all on the second floor. It boasts of a completely renovated gourmet kitchen, original oak paneling in the grand entranceway, beamed fourteen-foot ceilings, a superb open staircase and several bay windows on the ground floor. There's a fireplace in the master bedroom, as well as the parlor and living room. As you can see from the outside it's multi-gabbled and has beautiful spindled decorations for that period look. Just look at the wide wrap-around porch! The yard is virtually the same size of the original deed. That is really quite rare, even in this exclusive neighborhood. This is truly a "one of a kind home". And a steal at $400,000."

(Author's note: To see a picture of Niles' new home, here is a link - http://www.cob.org/cobweb/planning/planning/historic/3eldrid.jpg – yes, the Canfield House really does exist and was recently up for sale – until Niles bought it, I think! ;) )

"We'll take it!" There wasn't a hint of hesitation in Niles' voice. "I… I mean I think I want to put a bid on it… immediately."

Okey-dokey!" chirped the beaming agent. "Let's go into the kitchen and get down to business, Dr. Crane. Right this way!"

Even the usually easy-going Martin looked shocked as he and Frasier were left behind in the living room, while Niles and the salesperson withdrew to the adjoining room to draw up the papers on his offer. Frasier glanced at his dad and shrugged his shoulders. The lightning speed at which Niles had made his decision was troublesome to him, to say the least.

"Impulse buying isn't the wisest decision on the smallest of items, let alone a house!" Frasier thought.

"Well, that was quick," he whispered under his breath, so Niles couldn't hear him.

"Yeah, I'll say, real quick! And it's a lot of dough!" chimed in Martin.

"This house is awfully big for one person!" added Frasier. "Four bedrooms.

What is he going to do with all that space?"

"It may be big," Martin said emphatically. "But it's still a lot of cash for a house!"

"It is over a hundred years old. Niles knows as well as I do, even if there has been extensive renovations there could be a distinct possibility that more work has to be done," Frasier stated knowledgeably. "It takes a lots of time and effort to do that kind of thing."

"Yup! And a lot of money!" Martin persisted.

"Forget the money, Dad! With what Niles made from the sale of his practice and the savings and investments he has, he can probably afford a house like this, but… it goes deeper than that!"

"With you, it always does," Martin observed, half to himself.

Frasier ignored this remark.

"For God's sake Dad, he's only got a one-year contract! What if they don't renew it! Will he still want to stay in Bellingham under those circumstances? What is he searching for? What does he think he'll find in Bellingham, that he couldn't find in Seattle any longer?"

"Only Niles can answer that question, Frasier," acknowledged his father. "And maybe even he can't, at this moment. We'll just have to wait and see."

End of Part Three (to be continued)