Official Pre-chapter rant: Okay people so here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. I'm working the angst angle on this story, and I'm figuring by the end of this story if at least one of you hasn't cried then I haven't done my job well. So enjoy this latest installment and try not to get lost in the twists!
Chapter Two
Hold on My Heart
Tenchi bounded through the house, a man on a mission. Racing from one morning task to the next, Tenchi finished bathing, dressing and grooming himself before anyone in the house had time to register his presence. Dashing past the living room and storming for front door, Tenchi stopped a minute to enjoy the smell of Sasami's cooking. Then returning to his original purpose, Tenchi stuffed his feet into his shoes and tore off for the shrine.
Arriving at the top of the shrine steps sweating and completely out of breath, Tenchi staggered in the general direction of his grandfather's humble abode. Finally at the door, Tenchi tried desperately to calm his erratic breathing. Resting with his hands on the frame of the door, Tenchi waited for his grandfather to grant him entry.
"You may come in Tenchi." Yosho said in a voice, calm and purposeful.
Tenchi slid the door open and entered. Having removed his shoes at the door, Tenchi swiftly moved to stand before his grandfather. "Grandfather I need a question answered about the customs of Jurai." Tenchi paused for the answering nod. Yosho nodded his acceptance and Tenchi continued. "I need to know if it is possible for me to arrive on Jurai before the summons?"
"Yes Tenchi, you may leave for Jurai whenever you wish but you must understand that neither the royal court nor the high council will address the issue of your ascendance to the throne." At Tenchi's perplexed look Yosho explained. "The matter of your ascendance is not a matter. It has already been decided and you are simply being informed of the decision. Your arrival on Jurai is nothing more than a matter of formality."
"But, don't I have a say in this? How can it all have been decided already?"
"Tenchi, do you suppose that the crown would leave such an important decision as the matter of succession to an idealistic youth such as yourself? No, from the standpoint of both the crown and the council, a matter of such political importance should not and has not been made by one as young and impressionistic as yourself." Yosho's wise voice held a note of commanding arrogance.
"Okay then, what was their decision?" Tenchi asked hopefully.
"That you are to ascend the throne and take the Princess Ayeka as your First Wife."
Tenchi was flabbergasted. Stammering, Tenchi tried to voice his questions but his grandfather continued.
"If you go to Jurai, either now or when the Reception Party retrieves you, you will not be allowed to return here until you are crowned and married."
Silence clung to the four walls of the room, draping itself like a thick mantle of deepest velvet. Oppressive and stifling, the pregnant silence stretched along the razor's edge of fury and misery. Tenchi flopped to the ground when his shaky knees finally gave out. Everything… Ryoko… His family… His home… Everything… gone. Tenchi couldn't fathom the enormity of it. His mind remained frozen in shock. There was nowhere he could hide and defiance would only result in Ryoko being hurt somehow.
Yosho watched in compassionate silence as tears of anger and heartbreak began to well up in Tenchi's eyes. He had dreaded this moment, had known it would come from the instant he heard the summons. Tenchi was definitely trapped by circumstance. Yet, there was a chance that he could escape the on coming noose of crown and matrimony.
"Tenchi, you must understand that this is the nature and rule of the throne."
"WHAT?!! To dictate the lives of people who don't even fall under its rule!?!" Tenchi was near hysterical.
"By blood heritage alone, do you fall under the rule of the throne. You are The First Prince of Jurai. Which, by tradition, makes you the heir apparent."
"But, I love Ryoko!" Tenchi ground out through clenched teeth.
"And as heir apparent, you are not allowed the frivolities and follies of youth. Your relationship with Ryoko will be severed once you are crowned." Yosho knew the words had to feel like daggers of ice to Tenchi's already wounded heart, but the young man had to understand the position of the crown and the council before he attempted to defy them.
"NO!!! I WILL NOT FORSAKE RYOKO!!! If there are no other choices, I will do as I must, but I will never forsake Ryoko." Tenchi's emotions were starting to break free from his tight control and a tear slipped from his right eye. This, he quickly brushed away with a tightly clenched fist.
"It is not a matter of forsaking her, it is a matter of obedience to the throne. You are the heir apparent. And as such, you are bound by duty and obligation to obey the whim and fancy of the throne. Your concerns and emotions have no room in such political matters as marriage and ascension." Yosho steeled his heart and his voice to coldly express the wishes of the council and of the court.
"But, I don't love Ayeka, I love Ryoko. I want to marry Ryoko. I want to grow old and have children with her. I want to wake up every morning to her golden eyes and go to sleep every night with her in my arms. I want it so much that it's a physical ache. There are times when I see her and I can almost feel her face beneath my palm, her soft cheek warming my hands. And if I close my eyes, I can feel her lips pressed against mine. I can see what my future with her would be like and I want it so bad…so very bad." The whispered words slipped from Tenchi's mouth as his anger dissolved, leaving a nearly broken man in its place.
Again Yosho steeled himself against compassion, he had to make Tenchi understand all that he would be facing and all that he would be going against in order achieve the future of his choice. "Once again, what you want is immaterial. The only wishes and desires that have any import are those of the crown and of the council."
"I don't care about the crown or the council!! I don't want the crown and I couldn't care less what the council thinks! Don't you understand!?! All I want in this world is to love her, cherish her and be with her! I don't need the crown the way I need her!!" The tears were now free as the floodgates opened and Tenchi struggled with his pain.
Hold on my heart,
"Then, if you love her so much, you must find a way to refuse the crown." Yosho's voice softened with sympathetic understanding. Once, a long, long time ago, he had felt the same burning need. That woman had been Tenchi's grandmother and the sacrifice of crown and glory had been as easily decided for him as it was now for his grandson. No, despite previous statements, there were ways of escaping the demands of the throne. Most of which, however, were not for the fickle or the faint of heart. Devotion, devotion and true love, where the only things that would guide Tenchi through this.
Just hold on to that feeling
"But how do you say "no" to the crown of the most powerful empire in the known universe?" Tenchi felt feeble and useless in the face of such an overwhelming foe.
"By using their laws and decrees to your advantage. There are ancient laws that are still in existence, written specifically for this purpose. Ancient Juraians believed that love transcended all, even the rule of the crown and the will of the council. Love was considered to be a gift of the gods and not the near-tradable commodity that it is now." Yosho's voice hardened again. Now that Tenchi understood his foe, he had to understand the task he was undertaking.
"You will have to harden your heart for, from here on out, your tasks will cause pain and suffering for the one you love. But, in the end, she will understand everything was necessary for the future of your choosing. You must understand that, in this case, the end must justify the means. If you are not strong enough to do this then you may as well marry Ayeka."
"If the end result is I can marry Ryoko, freely, of my own will, then I will accept the path that I must follow. May Kami guide me." Tenchi spoke solemnly prepared for any sacrifice in order to preserve his future happiness.
Proud of his grandson, yet still worried about the demands that his chosen path would make upon him, Yosho spoke cautiously. "Tenchi, you will first have to tell Ryoko that your future is not decided yet. She cannot know how you feel, for the second she knows, she will not relinquish her hold on you. Give no encouragement to Ayeka, she will find enough of it in the summons. Explain to Ayeka that you have no wish to succeed to the throne, but tell her nothing more. Ayeka is intelligent enough to quickly draw the parallel between us. And if she suspects that you have other reasons besides fear and unwillingness to comply with such duress, she will inform the crown." Tenchi nodded his understanding.
We've both know we've been here before"Tenchi, you must understand that Ayeka loves you and will not relinquish her position as your wife easily. If you do not become Crown Prince, her guaranteed position as your first, and thusly most important, wife will be destroyed. While you have everything to gain from abdication, she has everything to loose and she will fight for what she considers hers by birthright and by love."
"I understand Grandfather, but am I going to have to cater to Ayeka until I can abdicate?"
We both know what can happen.
"Unfortunately, you might have to. If she becomes suspicious, you will have to throw her off the scent and, regretfully, confirming her dreams is the best way of doing this. If you can avoid doing this, then do so. She still harbors feelings of pain over my betrayal. I would hope that you can prevent her from experiencing more, but needs become must when the devil drives."
"Huh?"
"It is an expression I acquired during my travels. Your grandmother was very fond of the saying."
"Do you miss her, Grandfather? Grandmother I mean?" Tenchi asked with a curiosity reminiscent of his childhood.
Hold on my heart,
"Yes, more often than not, I wake each morning with the dull throb of longing. It lodges in my throat and robs me of my control. Even now, I still wake to open my eyes to her fading visage before me. I can see her smile reflected in your eyes sometimes and this old man's heart yearns for her presence. But, I know she is watching us, guarding us and waiting patiently for me."
Cause I'm looking over your shoulder
Surprised by his grandfather's quiet yet emotional explanation, Tenchi nodded in empathetic understanding. Even now, the cool feel of Ryoko's fingertips caressing his face could easily be conjured by simply closing his eyes. Yes, his father had been right, Masaki men were devoted even beyond the grave.
Please don't rush in this time,
The thought of Ryoko instantly made Tenchi want nothing more than to rush to her and tell her his feelings. Tell her all he had planned for them in the future. But he had to remain calm. If he spoke one word of his heart's expression, then the abdication was doomed before it started. Somehow, the confessions that he had been prepared to scream from the mountaintops, had to remain unspoken.
Don't show her how you feel.
Tenchi doubted he could remain impassive to Ryoko, somehow keeping his heart under lock. It was hard enough not confessing everything in his heart the rare occasions he did see her. The timing for the summons couldn't have been coincidence, he had been about to confess to her, had decided on the words and the exact time of day he would tell her. And that very night, the summons had arrived. So now, with his confession forced back down, Tenchi could only swallow the urge. Looking up at his grandfather, Tenchi silently pleaded for help.
Throw me a lifeline.
Nodding, Yosho understood Tenchi's silent request. It had been just as hard for him to clamp down the confession of love, when he had chosen to abdicate. And for his headstrong and forever immutable grandson, such restrain would seem nearly impossible. It had taken all of Yosho's vast will to curtail his lovesick heart from its continuous drive for declaration. Now Tenchi would have to face the same and, with any luck, Ryoko wouldn't push him for one.
I'll keep a place for you
"The trick to this situation is to force all the emotions into the deepest reaches of your heart. Well beyond the reach of your tongue and past the range of your dreams. In that hidden place, you must place your love."
Hold on my heart,
Yes, Tenchi knew that place very well. It was the same place his feelings for Ryoko had hidden so many years ago. A place that woman after woman in college had tried to reach but failed. Only Ryoko's golden eyes had the power to unlock that corner of his heart, and now, he was going to reseal his feelings for her?
Please tell her to be patient,
Could he do this? Could he return to constantly denying what would be locked deep within his heart? He had to. If he didn't then he would lose her. Firming his resolve, Tenchi buried his love for Ryoko. He would be free of the demands of the crown and when he was, he would tell her all that was locked away in his heart.
Because there has never been a time that I have wanted something more
Yosho watched as Tenchi's face portrayed his inner battle. When Tenchi's eyes reflected a hard, almost cold light Yosho knew the young man had won the battle to suppress his emotions. Wanting to test his grandson's resolve, he sent the younger man home.
Once Tenchi had closed the door, Yosho slouched from his rigid position. Watching Tenchi struggle through the same situation that he had been in all those years ago had been jarring. Yosho could still remember the nights spent pouring over tomes upon tomes of ancient text, searching for the slightest loophole to remove him from his obligations.
If I can recall this feeling,
He had found it, as if by a fancy of fate, while closing a book of illuminated text. The pages had flipped and his eyes had alighted on the word "abdication." Since the word was extremely rare in Juraian, due to the lack of use, it had immediately grabbed his attention. An ancient ritual that pre-existed the Empire, but not the Throne, allowed for an Heir Apparent to abdicate in the instance of "true love." But, there were specific conditions and definitions regarding "true love," an idea that had always confused him. How does one define "true love?"
Then I know there's a chance.
But the ancients had, and it was that definition that had spared him the Crown. 1. True love was self-sacrifice. 2. True love was devotion. 3. True love was redemption. 4. True love was unconditional. It was the conditions that defined true love that had been the difficult part; there were separate standards for the commoners and royalty. The conditions for royalty stated that true love manifested itself in mind, body and soul.
I will be there,
Establishing that the pair shared a telepathic link, previously unheard of in pure-born Juraians, easily fulfilled the requirement for the mind. For himself and his beloved, they had easily proven they were soul mates through their ability to amplify each other's Light Hawk powers, a gift born of the Trees of Jurai and channeled through the blood of each Juraian noble. The last requirement of body had been fulfilled unwittingly at the same time as that of the soul.
Yes, I will be there.
Yosho rose to his feet as memories surrounded him. The past surged forward from the deeper recesses of his mind, reaching out to remind him of his trials. Trials endured along side the woman that would become his wife and mother to his only daughter. Allowing himself the minute comfort that his true form offered, Yosho stretched out his now youthful hand. Closing his eyes, Yosho reached out his hand past the frame of the open window…
And touched the past.
Time and space, for an instant, froze, and with faint symbols on his forehead glowing with ephemeral powers granted to him by Tsunami, Yosho stood in two places during two separate points in time. One foot on Jurai, all those years ago; the other in the present on earth, his home and his wife's burial ground. Yosho felt his heart lurch as his eyes turned to focus on the person to his right. There she was…Itsuki, as beautiful as the most treasured jewel in the entirety of the Empire's vast wealth.
Be there for you.
She stood there next to him, with her hand just before his, in that moment where both their souls had touched and their lives were forever woven together into one braid. Now, with eyes wizened with pain and loss, now he could see her as she had truly been in that astonishing moment. She would eternally be the most glorious of beauties in the whole of creation to his mind's eye. Yet, despite his beliefs, in that single moment before the two had been united under the grace of Tsunami, she had been transformed beyond her corporal splendor to reflect the ethereal beauty, hidden within her soul.
Whenever you want me to.
There she stood, frozen in that most wondrous of moments, her soul, bare to his eyes and his mind. And now, with eyes capable of understanding, he understood. He understood the depth of her love and the depth of her sacrifice. Tsunami's gift to him in that moment, so long ago, had been the freedom to live his life with his love. But as is the way with such gifts there is always a cost. Which in his mind, Yosho thought was too great. As tears slowly crested the sharp angle of his cheekbone and drifted down his face, he understood. His freedom had not truly been a gift given strictly from Tsunami, but it also had been a gift of life from his darling Itsuki.
Whenever you call.
Tsunami was unable to erase the current path of fate, it took much more power than the goddess could summon at that one moment in time, being trapped between the celestial and living planes as she was. But if the energy of a life was used, willed to the goddess, then destiny and even the heavens themselves could be rewritten. And it was with her own life's energy that Itsuki had given the goddess the power to grant his wish of freedom; eternally rewriting his destiny and forever, binding his soul to hers.
I will be there,
Glorious before him, in her moment of greatest strength and grandest sacrifice, Itsuki smiled. Her hand beckoning him to join her… to accept her sacrifice… to understand that this was his sacrifice as well. To live on without her, after the pair was bound to each other… to knowingly accept his role in her shortened life… to willingly accept whatever the conditions, simply to be with her as they saw fit. While her sacrifice had been grand and noble, his was no less difficult to undertake.
Yes, I will be there.
For the slightest of instants, the most minuscule of seconds, they were free to move. Free to touch and in that moment when their hands touched and their fates were forever intertwined, he saw and understood the reason for his existence. Crying freely, Yosho released his hold on Itsuki and gradually, he returned to existing in a single place at a single time. Alone.
Hold on my heart,
Yosho's hand retreated from the window's frame and when, finally, he had returned to the comfortable, worn skin of his old man's body, time returned to its normal march with an abrupt lurch. Itsuki… He could still feel the warm brush of her soft hands against his. The delicate skin of her palm radiating a soothing warmth and comforting his soul had been one of the first things he had missed after her death. Yosho removed his glasses and gently removed the evidence of his tears, he would not cry. Not for his loss, not when she would always be by his side and in his heart…so long as he held on to the love that they had shared.
Don't let her see you crying.
Yosho smiled as he watched the sun set behind the mountains that surrounded their home; the home she had loved and cherished. Even now, after so long being separated by the barrier of death; even now, he could hear the faint whisper within his soul. There, within his heart of hearts, she was there. The part of her soul that was bound and woven with his, stolen during that moment of divinity, whispered to him when his life was at its lowest and death's comforts were easily accepted. From that stolen treasure, deep within his own soul, her soul would fill him and solace his weary essence.
No matter where I go,
She had been beside him, in life as well as in death, during his most trying times. The day Achika had made the same decision as her mother for the sake of her love for Noboyuki. Both parents had stood watching as their daughter had been issued the challenge of sacrifice and devotion. And with the same delicate, ethereal grace as her mother, Achika had accepted the choice to live with Noboyuki as she decided without the constraints of Juraian customs or obligations.
She'll always be with me.
From outside the entire ritual, Yosho had seen all the players involved. Tsunami, gentle and loving guardian of Jurai tried desperately to stave off the relentless demand of destiny. Prometheus, the Soul Reaper and the Bringer of Light, was the name of that which claimed that precious life force energy from those of noble blood who were willing to rewrite their own destiny, his sole purpose to excise destiny's lost energies through payment.
And while the price paid could be high for some, the duty to realign fate and the heavens for the whim of two lone creatures within all of existence required great sacrifice. Over the eons his purpose and his true name were lost within the annals of time. By the time Achika had confronted him for her right to freedom, his name had been perverted to KAIN.
There's a hold on my heart,
Achika stood alone against the awesome power that was Prometheus unbound. Just as her mother before her, she chose the path, which her heart dictated, charging forward Achika made her payment as she saw fit. Yosho had known the moment the blade had touched Prometheus the tax his daughter would pay was to be high, much higher than any before her in nearly a millennia. For it was Achika's destiny to bear Tenchi to a noble house of Jurai and not to a commoner of Earth. It was her change in Tenchi's fate that had dictated her payment. But, her reward was the same as it had been for her parents.
Just hold on to that feeling.
Soul bound to soul in those fleeting moments when she caressed Noboyuki's face in the shadow of the destroyed Tokyo Tower. Forever, Achika and Noboyuki souls would remain bound, interlocked like the everlasting coils of the never-ending chains of eternity.
We both know we've been here before.
We both know what can happen.
Tenchi…what was his destiny that required such a high toll from Achika. And how much would he suffer when Ryoko was issued the same request? How much pain would Tenchi know at the hands of destiny's enforcer? Worry for his grandson furrowed Yosho's brow until Itsuki's soft, hushed voice floated to him on the cool twilight breeze. Whispering words of devotion and love, she soothed his fears away.
There's a hold on my heart.
Looking to the now star-dusted sky, Yosho returned the words of love and devotion that had become part of his nightly ceremony. Turning away from the window to finish his shrine duties and responsibilities, Yosho returned to his life as the wise Shinto priest. Tasks completed, Yosho returned to the window. Gazing back up at the night sky, he could see her sweet smile in the glittering twinkle of the diamond-dappled sky.
Just hold on my heart,
He would hold on to his love and his heart until he could truly be with her again. And as Yosho retreated to go to bed, he could have sworn he heard the words "As will I my love...As will I…" float across the breeze.
I'm going to hold on to my Heart.
Official End-Chapter Rant: Okay so you guys still with me? I lost at least one beta on this chapter and they know my intentions, so I can imagine some of you are ready to jump ship. But hey I liked it so there! (So much for maturity with age.) A suggestion was made by one of my beta's that I hadn't realized, I don't have a song to resolve the situation. I have the exposition, the build up of angst, the pinnacle of angst and the resolution of angst but no way of getting out of the angst and into the happy ending. Which due to my disneyfied childhood, I desperately need. So I'm adding another song to the line up. Just so you know what it is, since I figure my chapters are enough of a surprise, its from the soundtrack from the movie Footloose, its by Kenny Loggins. The song is (Heaven Helps the Man) I'm Free. I liked it so its in. I'm sorry for the long time between posts but I'm in the middle of moving so bear with me. P.S. if I don't get more reviews on "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad" I'm going to hold the other chapters for Family Issues and Bound through Space hostage. Just kidding. Tell me what you think of this chapter, I really want to know.