April 22, AC 2o1
Sally muffled a yelp as her knee connected with the metal frame of the folding bed in her cabin. Wufei was a stickler for modesty, and had refused to even consider a ship that had joint quarters. She had suggested hanging up a sheet between their two halves, but he had been adamant. In the end she had given up, and they had taken this cruiser, although she secretly felt it was bigger than they really needed. Not that it's exactly large, Sally muttered, Rubbing her leg. Their was only room in each of the cabins for a narrow foldout bed, a sink, and two tiny wall-mounted cupboards. Tonight she had made the mistake of opening one of the cupboards while the bed was down, and had tripped as she tried to get out of the way of it's swinging door.
Scowling, Sally hunted around in the pile of crazily folded clothes on the bottom shelf of the offending cabinet until she found her hairbrush. Military or no military, Sally was hopelessly messy. She drew the line at calling herself a slob because her belongings were always clean, but they were never organized.
Noin's the organized one. I wonder why she never rose above a lieutenant. I probably will never know, either. She never talks about those days.
Sally shook her head, allowing her hair to fall forward over her shoulders. She had unbound the severe twists she wore during the day to keep the golden mass somewhat under control, and it now flowed nearly halfway down her back. Humming softly, she began to comb out the tangled locks, periodically glancing out her one tiny window at the endless blackness of space.
There was a third cabin on the shuttle. Sally had offered it to Noin after her return from Mars. But the other woman had declined, and had chosen instead to work with Cierra, an African pilot who had formerly been with OZ. Sally couldn't blame her.
You say you understand what Wufei did, Noin. Maybe you do, but I don't blame you for not wanting to see him day in and day out.
"We've all done some pretty terrible things," she said aloud, looking at her face in the mirror above her sink.
I think I was lucky. Most of the men I killed or who died while under my command, left this world honorably. They went into battle with the expectation that their lives would be on the line. Those cadets at Lake Victoria-they were still only children. They never truly knew what it is to fight for a cause they believed in-they never knew what hit them.
You're being morbid, Sal. Pull yourself together.
She shrugged, placing her hairbrush back in the cupboard. Sliding under the ugly, green Preventer issue blanket, Sally thanked God for the millionth time that someone had thought up the idea of space traffic controllers. Only ships that had multi-day journeys ahead of them were eligible for the service, and it's use was also limited to those vehicles with fewer than three crew members. In days past, one person had always been required to guide a shuttle, and even when autopilot had been perfected there had still been the risk of a malfunction. That meant that on ships carrying only two people, they were each alone for long periods of time while the other slept. The Controller service had been instituted just after the war to facilitate more rapid movement of reconstruction crews and diplomatic representatives. The Preventers had their own branch, to ensure security, since the service ran with satellite data and a direct link to the autopilot of each ship.
If Noin had been aboard Sally doubted they would have made use of it, because even counting sleep rotation no one person would have been alone for more than eight hours. But since it was only her and Wufei, they prefered to sleep at the same time.
Not that he's always such great company, she thought ruefully. But it's better than nothing, and besides, he's a lot less difficult to deal with than he was after the war.
She had taken him on as a partner only half out of kindness. Sally secretly admitted that she had always liked something about his proud, self-sufficient attitude. It had taken nearly two years, but Sally was almost certain that he respected her now-as much as he was capable of respecting anyone.
She lay for a long time after turning out the light, mostly thinking about Noin. Something about the other woman's appearance the last time they had met, nearly six months earlier, had caused Sally to inquire seriously into the state of her friend's health.
*****
"I'm fine, really," Noin laughed. The two had gone out for Chinese-the greasy, fake American stuff that Sally loved, although she would never admit it to Wufei.
"I've just been working really hard lately."
Sally thought a moment before she posed her next question. "Have you heard from..."
"No," said the other woman with a finality that warned Sally not to inquire further into that subject.
Putting down her chopsticks, Sally regarded Noin sternly. "You can't just work to forget about it, you know."
"Look Sal-"
"I'm serious. I don't know why you left, Noin, but you're obviously still in love with him. You can't just bury yourself in work and think that by doing that you'll forget".
Noin had looked away, and Sally put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I'm not being nosey, really. But it's been-"
"Two years, two months and six days," Noin finished with a rye smile. She was toying with the broccoli on her plate, and Sally's heart ached for the look on her face. Suddenly Noin looked up, meeting Sally's gaze squarely.
"he started to drink a lot. Perhaps it had started before he resurfaced, but it didn't get bad until April or May of 198. He's got-he's got a lot of guilt, Sal. I thought I could help, but it seemed like I only made things worse-reminded him of his past, I guess. I talked to him about it-asked him if I should leave. He just said, "As you wish,"-you know," she shrugged, "Like he d
id on Libra."
"So you left?" Sally asked.
"Yeah-I told him I was going. I left-he had drunk a lot the night before. When I told him I was going he just said, "I'm not surprised". I guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back-I'm not a meek person-don't laugh. You know what I mean. I'm not a doormat. We quarreled-his drinking came into it, and that was it. I haven't spoken to him since."
"Sounds like you had every reason to leave," Sally commented acidly. "So how come you're still upset about it?"
"It's not the fact that he was insensitive that bothers me," Noin explained, reaching for her glass of water. "If you want me to be honest, I suppose I'm still worried about him. The alcohol was interfering with his work. I can't help caring-I don't think I'll ever stop doing that."
"Taking that all into account however," Sally pressed, "I don't think it's enough to explain why you're looking so pale."
"Always the doctur, huh?", Noin asked, smiling slightly. "Like I said, I've been working a lot. Une gave Cierra and me the L3 Q-Z cluster, and you know how nearly impossible fully patrolling that area can be." She pushed back her chair, draining the last vestiges of liquid from her glass as she did so.
"Tell me about it," groaned Sally, also rising. "Thanks so much for the meal. I love traditional Chinese, but every once in a while I get this awful craving for grease!"
*****
Lying in the darkness, Sally pondered Noin's words.
Milliard Peacecraft lives on the Mars colony, she thought. Or at least, he used to. That little bio-sphere can't really even be called a colony yet. It's the perfect place for a well-known former OZ commander. Even with the amnesty, there are bound to be a lot of people who would love to get there hands on him. She punched her pillow, willing it to somehow inflate a little more. I've got to see about getting another one while we're on Mars. Hey! This'll be the first time Wufei and I will have been dirt-side for anything other than a scouting mission in nearly three months. Better make the most of it-this'll probably be the last time before the annual meeting in May.
As she drifted off to sleep, Sally's last thought was directed toward a man several million miles away. Milliard, if I happen to run into you, be prepared for a piece of my mind.
Sally muffled a yelp as her knee connected with the metal frame of the folding bed in her cabin. Wufei was a stickler for modesty, and had refused to even consider a ship that had joint quarters. She had suggested hanging up a sheet between their two halves, but he had been adamant. In the end she had given up, and they had taken this cruiser, although she secretly felt it was bigger than they really needed. Not that it's exactly large, Sally muttered, Rubbing her leg. Their was only room in each of the cabins for a narrow foldout bed, a sink, and two tiny wall-mounted cupboards. Tonight she had made the mistake of opening one of the cupboards while the bed was down, and had tripped as she tried to get out of the way of it's swinging door.
Scowling, Sally hunted around in the pile of crazily folded clothes on the bottom shelf of the offending cabinet until she found her hairbrush. Military or no military, Sally was hopelessly messy. She drew the line at calling herself a slob because her belongings were always clean, but they were never organized.
Noin's the organized one. I wonder why she never rose above a lieutenant. I probably will never know, either. She never talks about those days.
Sally shook her head, allowing her hair to fall forward over her shoulders. She had unbound the severe twists she wore during the day to keep the golden mass somewhat under control, and it now flowed nearly halfway down her back. Humming softly, she began to comb out the tangled locks, periodically glancing out her one tiny window at the endless blackness of space.
There was a third cabin on the shuttle. Sally had offered it to Noin after her return from Mars. But the other woman had declined, and had chosen instead to work with Cierra, an African pilot who had formerly been with OZ. Sally couldn't blame her.
You say you understand what Wufei did, Noin. Maybe you do, but I don't blame you for not wanting to see him day in and day out.
"We've all done some pretty terrible things," she said aloud, looking at her face in the mirror above her sink.
I think I was lucky. Most of the men I killed or who died while under my command, left this world honorably. They went into battle with the expectation that their lives would be on the line. Those cadets at Lake Victoria-they were still only children. They never truly knew what it is to fight for a cause they believed in-they never knew what hit them.
You're being morbid, Sal. Pull yourself together.
She shrugged, placing her hairbrush back in the cupboard. Sliding under the ugly, green Preventer issue blanket, Sally thanked God for the millionth time that someone had thought up the idea of space traffic controllers. Only ships that had multi-day journeys ahead of them were eligible for the service, and it's use was also limited to those vehicles with fewer than three crew members. In days past, one person had always been required to guide a shuttle, and even when autopilot had been perfected there had still been the risk of a malfunction. That meant that on ships carrying only two people, they were each alone for long periods of time while the other slept. The Controller service had been instituted just after the war to facilitate more rapid movement of reconstruction crews and diplomatic representatives. The Preventers had their own branch, to ensure security, since the service ran with satellite data and a direct link to the autopilot of each ship.
If Noin had been aboard Sally doubted they would have made use of it, because even counting sleep rotation no one person would have been alone for more than eight hours. But since it was only her and Wufei, they prefered to sleep at the same time.
Not that he's always such great company, she thought ruefully. But it's better than nothing, and besides, he's a lot less difficult to deal with than he was after the war.
She had taken him on as a partner only half out of kindness. Sally secretly admitted that she had always liked something about his proud, self-sufficient attitude. It had taken nearly two years, but Sally was almost certain that he respected her now-as much as he was capable of respecting anyone.
She lay for a long time after turning out the light, mostly thinking about Noin. Something about the other woman's appearance the last time they had met, nearly six months earlier, had caused Sally to inquire seriously into the state of her friend's health.
*****
"I'm fine, really," Noin laughed. The two had gone out for Chinese-the greasy, fake American stuff that Sally loved, although she would never admit it to Wufei.
"I've just been working really hard lately."
Sally thought a moment before she posed her next question. "Have you heard from..."
"No," said the other woman with a finality that warned Sally not to inquire further into that subject.
Putting down her chopsticks, Sally regarded Noin sternly. "You can't just work to forget about it, you know."
"Look Sal-"
"I'm serious. I don't know why you left, Noin, but you're obviously still in love with him. You can't just bury yourself in work and think that by doing that you'll forget".
Noin had looked away, and Sally put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I'm not being nosey, really. But it's been-"
"Two years, two months and six days," Noin finished with a rye smile. She was toying with the broccoli on her plate, and Sally's heart ached for the look on her face. Suddenly Noin looked up, meeting Sally's gaze squarely.
"he started to drink a lot. Perhaps it had started before he resurfaced, but it didn't get bad until April or May of 198. He's got-he's got a lot of guilt, Sal. I thought I could help, but it seemed like I only made things worse-reminded him of his past, I guess. I talked to him about it-asked him if I should leave. He just said, "As you wish,"-you know," she shrugged, "Like he d
id on Libra."
"So you left?" Sally asked.
"Yeah-I told him I was going. I left-he had drunk a lot the night before. When I told him I was going he just said, "I'm not surprised". I guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back-I'm not a meek person-don't laugh. You know what I mean. I'm not a doormat. We quarreled-his drinking came into it, and that was it. I haven't spoken to him since."
"Sounds like you had every reason to leave," Sally commented acidly. "So how come you're still upset about it?"
"It's not the fact that he was insensitive that bothers me," Noin explained, reaching for her glass of water. "If you want me to be honest, I suppose I'm still worried about him. The alcohol was interfering with his work. I can't help caring-I don't think I'll ever stop doing that."
"Taking that all into account however," Sally pressed, "I don't think it's enough to explain why you're looking so pale."
"Always the doctur, huh?", Noin asked, smiling slightly. "Like I said, I've been working a lot. Une gave Cierra and me the L3 Q-Z cluster, and you know how nearly impossible fully patrolling that area can be." She pushed back her chair, draining the last vestiges of liquid from her glass as she did so.
"Tell me about it," groaned Sally, also rising. "Thanks so much for the meal. I love traditional Chinese, but every once in a while I get this awful craving for grease!"
*****
Lying in the darkness, Sally pondered Noin's words.
Milliard Peacecraft lives on the Mars colony, she thought. Or at least, he used to. That little bio-sphere can't really even be called a colony yet. It's the perfect place for a well-known former OZ commander. Even with the amnesty, there are bound to be a lot of people who would love to get there hands on him. She punched her pillow, willing it to somehow inflate a little more. I've got to see about getting another one while we're on Mars. Hey! This'll be the first time Wufei and I will have been dirt-side for anything other than a scouting mission in nearly three months. Better make the most of it-this'll probably be the last time before the annual meeting in May.
As she drifted off to sleep, Sally's last thought was directed toward a man several million miles away. Milliard, if I happen to run into you, be prepared for a piece of my mind.