::Disclaimer and other things people will probably ignore::
FF8 and it's characters are copyright by Squaresoft. The plot, however, is 
mine.
Touch it, and eat horrible GF death. I'm serious!
...And finally, this is Rated PG-13-ish for light swearing and suggestive
themes. Don't kill me. Questions? Comments? Flames? Send them to
Megami_Yanagi@hotmail.com with the subject "FF8 fic" or something similar, or 
my
junk mail folder will eat it and say "yummy" when it is done. arigatou, and
enjoy! ^_^



From Forever to Infinity

Chapter 4: "A Place to Lay the Blame"

***************************************

	Rinoa walked over to the door of one of the sleeping quarters, and 
opened it a
crack. Yep, there he was, lying on the bed, deep in thought, as usual.
	"I see you standing there." Squall said in a monotone. Rinoa opened 
the door
and walked in, sitting on the edge of the bed.
	"Squall..." She began, but he interrupted her.
	"If it's about Laguna or anything that just happened within the last 
10
minutes, I don't wanna talk about it right now." He told her. She lay down 
next
to him, and mimicked his position. He shook his head, and turned away from 
her.
	"Kiros told me he lost his gun." Rinoa said, lying on her back with 
her hands
behind her head. "So now he's defenseless."
	"It figures!" Huffed Squall.
	"Maybe you could do something constructive with him." She prompted,
"Like...teaching him how to use a new weapon."
	"Absolutely not!" Squall sat up violently and looked at her. "He's 
not touching
my Lionheart!"
	"What about that old revolver model you have lying in the case?" 
Rinoa looked
at him, her eyes smiling even though her face looked serious. "It's really 
just
rusting away in there, when it could be being used to chip away at the silent
wall between you and your father."
	"Why can't Irvine give him a gun? I'll bet he has tons lying 
around..." Squall
said, sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. "Besides, he's 
used
to guns..." 
	Rinoa sat up and wrapped her legs around Squall from behind, resting 
her head
on his back.
	"Don't become like me." She said, with unusual sadness in her voice, 
"I can't
stand my father, and all I have left of my mother is a song she wrote for 
some
soldier she was in love with a long time ago who never returned her 
feelings."
	She hugged him from behind, and he placed his hands over hers.
	"Don't be like this..." He whispered, "You're supposed to be the 
happy one, and
I'm supposed to be the strong one."
	"That's what you think it is? Being strong? You can be strong and 
happy, you
know. Don't hold so much back, ok?" She said quietly. "Sometimes we get 
chances
we let go to waste. Please don't let your chances with Laguna go to waste- he
and Ellone are all you've got left of your family." 
	He was silent for a moment, letting her words sink in. Then he stood 
up with
her still on his back. She let go and slid off, taking a step back.
	"What are you gonna do?" She asked. He opened his gunblade case, and 
pulled out
a worn revolver from behind the velvet rest for the Lionheart.
	"This was my very first gunblade..." He mused, looking at it. 
"Perhaps it's
time the old man learned something useful." He smiled the best he could at
Rinoa. Her eyes widened, and she looked truely happy for him.
	"That's the spirit!" She cried, and thrust one of her fists in the 
air, the
same way Zell did after a good battle.

**********************************************

	"Aww man, why do we hafta come out here, ya know? We could get the 
ingredients
somewhere else, ya know?" A dark-skinned man complined to a white-haired 
woman
in blue wearing an eyepatch.
	"ELYNOLES. HAVE ENERGY CRYSTAL. RUBY DRAGON. YOU FIGHT?" She looked 
at him
pointedly.
	"Well, I definately don't wanna fight Ruby Dragons, but where are we 
going to
find Elynoles? They're not really common here, ya know?" The man stroked his
chin with his right hand, holding a massive bo in the other. 
	"ELYNOLE. NEAR ESTHAR. YOU AND I. TOO FAR."
	"We went too far? Ohhh man, now we're lost!" He kicked the ground, 
and sent a
cloud of dust swirling. "This is bad, ya know?"
	The woman kicked him and sent him sprawling on the floor.
	"WALK TO COAST. FOLLOW TO ESTHAR FENCE. GO HOME." She told him.
	"That's right! We can get home that way! You're smart, ya know?" 
Raijin said
and picked himself up off the ground. "Let's go so we can fight those 
Elynoles
and get the energy crystals for Seifer's new Lionheart, ya know?"
	The woman in blue, Fujin, just shook her head and took off after him.
	"Look at me, goin' to the beach, goin' to the-" Raijin stopped mid 
sentance
when he saw something on the ground ahead of them. He halted Fujin silently, 
and
pointed at it.
	"ENEMY?" Fujin asked Raijin.
	"No, I think it's a person, ya know?" He said.
	"ENEMY PERSON? LOOKS DEAD. NOT MOVING." She observed. 
	"Ya, lets see if they're dead or not." Raijin said, and walked over 
to the
body. He was taken aback by what he saw; There were 3 bodies total, one of a
very attractive young woman in a beige sweater and headband, sprawled 
prettilty
on
the ground, and ahead of her were the mangled corpses of two Toramas. He 
knelt
down, and checked the woman's pulse. It was there, ever so slight, but there. 
	"She's alive!" Raijin exclaimed.
	"...SHOCK." Said Fujin, and looked at the woman. "GIRL. TAKE TO 
ESTHAR?" She
asked.
	"We could always take her back to the city until she wakes up. Seifer 
will know
what to do from there, ya know?"
	"TORAMA. FIRST. CHECK FOR ITEM." Fujin reminded him. Raijin went over 
and
searched the remains of the bodies of the Toramas.
	"What's this...?" He asked as he picked up a shiny object. Fujin 
walked over
and looked at it.
	"MOONSTONE. GOOD FOR GUNS. NOT FOR LIONHEART." She said.
	"But we could sell it ya know- Oh! Here's another one!" He cried 
happily.
"We'll be able to go out and eat tonight."
	"SEIFER. COOKING BAD." Fujin agreed.
	"Well, c'mon, lets get goin'." Raijin said. He slipped the moonstones 
in his
pocket, picked up the girl, slung her over his shoulder, and they headed back
toward the city.

***********************************

	Laguna sat in the now empty cockpit of the Ragnarok. What should he 
do now? He
seemed to be a total failure as father, and as a person.
	"Raine, what should I do?" He asked the empty room, his head in his 
hands. The
only answer he heard was the roar of the Ragnarok's engines, and the computer
stating that they would be approaching Deling City in one hour and twenty-
five
minutes.
	He sighed heavily, and looked out the window. Life would have been so 
much
easier if it hadn't turned out like it had. Squall and Elle would have grown 
up
together, probably join the army like he had done after graduating from 
Centra
Garden, and learned how to use a machine gun, not that gunblade that he 
wielded.
Although, he did wield that gunblade well. Hell, it even looked good on him. 
He
wore it like he wore his hostility at the cruel world that he had been 
brought
up in. What had posessed him to even consider a gunblade in the first place?
Very few people used gunblades, but since the Ultimecia incident, gunblades 
were
in high demand. Imagine that, his son, his son that hated him and the world, 
was
a mini hero! 
	The doors swung open, and Squall walked in, carrying his Lionheart 
and another,
smaller gunblade. What was he doing? Was there such a thing as a twin blade
technique for a gunblade? Well, there were dual gun techniques, and twin 
sword
techniques, so why not double gunblade? 
	"You're staring." Squall looked at him. Laguna broke his gaze away 
from the
gunblades and focused it on his son's hard expression. But, he looked 
slightly
different...paler, maybe? No, almost...no, he couldn't put his finger on it, 
but
definately different.
	"Here." Squall said, handing the Revolver to his father.
	"Wha...?" Laguna looked at him, truely confused.
	"You lost your gun, right?" Squall said, shoving the Revolver at him, 
handle
first. "You can't run around unarmed if you're coming with us."
	"Squall, I- I can't use this!" Laguna stammered, looking at it.
	"It's the same one I used to train with. You'll be fine. I even 
locked the
firing mechanisim for this, so we don't kill each other." Squall offered the
small gunblade to him again. Laguna took it gingerly, making sure not to 
touch
the trigger mechanisim. 
	"I've never used one of these before! How will I-?" Squall cut him 
off.
	"I'm going to teach you. Now come on. Let's go into the hold- there's 
more
room." Squall said and walked out. Laguna looked at the gunblade, and then 
out
the window for a second.
	"Well, here goes nothing." He said, and started to walk to the hold. 
Just as he
got outside, Selphie came flying up the stairs and into the cockpit with 
nothing
but a wave and a rushed "Hisirlagunacan'ttalkgottafly!" in passing. He waved 
at
her as she rushed past, then made his way back to the hold.

	"What took so long?" Squall asked him, tapping the tip of his 
Lionheart on the
floor impatiently.
	"I had to let Selphie by, otherwise, I'd impale her on this." He 
explained,
holding out the Revolver. 
	"Well, let's get started." Squall motioned to the middle of the room. 
Laguna
walked over, and Squall set his Lionheart up against one of the walls.
	"What are you doing...?" Laguna asked suspiciously. Squall never left 
his
gunblade anywhere!
	"Here." Squall said, standing behind Laguna, and taking his arms 
while he held
the revolver. "You hold it like this when you're in the "at ease" position." 
He
made Laguna's arms turn the gunblade down and at an angle. Then he pulled his
arms up and positioned them holding the gunblade with the blade up and out in
front of his chest, at an angle. 
	"This is the 'Offensive Position'." Squall explained, "This is how 
you hold it
when you think a chance to get a hit in is coming up." He then moved Laguna's
arms out so that he was holding the gunblade straight out and up, then he 
made
Laguna's arms swing it over his shoulder. "This whole movement is the "Attack
position". You repeat it backwards to land a basic blow." He made Laguna's 
arms
go through the movement two more times. Then, he made his arms bring the
gunblade parallel to his chest.
	"Now, put the palm of your hand against the flat of the blade like 
this. This
is the "Defense Position". You can move it up or down to deflect an attack, 
but
you use your flat hand to determine the direction, not the hand that's on the
handle." 
	He let go of Laguna's arms, and stepped back a safe distance from 
Laguna. "Now
show me the movements I just ran you through as I say them."
	Laguna looked overwhelmed at all the information he had just 
absorbed. And he
was still thinking that it had to look damn funny with Squall standing behind
him moving his arms like that.
	"Ah, alright. Which one first?" Laguna asked, looking confusedly at 
the
Revolver.
	"Attack position." Squall said. Laguna swung the blade into the 
beginning
position.
	"All of it." Squall commanded. His father held the blade in front of 
him, and
then swung it back, but a little too hard. He lost his balance for a second, 
and
almost toppled over backwards. Squall put a hand against his forehead and 
shook
his head sadly.
	"Not so hard." He told him. Laguna smiled embarassedly and did it 
again, but
not as hard as he had done before.
	"Offense position." Squall said next. Laguna held the gunblade out in 
front of
him at an angle.
	"Turn the blade out toward your opponent." Squall corrected him. 
Laguna fixed
it.
	"Defensive position." He said. Laguna held the blade out in front of 
him, one
hand flat against the blade.
	"Now, block to your left." Squall said, arms crossed in front of him. 
Laguna
paused for a moment, then guided the blade into a left block. 
	"Now block right, up, down, lower left, upper right, behind you upper 
right."
Squall barked out orders and Laguna took them. It was an odd feeling for them
both, but in a small way it made Squall feel more in control with his father,
and in the same odd way, it made Laguna feel that his son and him were 
actually
establishing some sort of tenative rapport.
	"Alright, "At ease" position." Squall directed, and after Laguna 
pointed the
blade down, he grabbed the Lionheart and stood next to him, his blade in the 
"At
Ease" position as well.
	"Now watch what I do. This is how you attack with an overhand swing." 
Squall
said, and made the motion. "You lead with the foot opposite your dominant 
hand,
got it?"
	Laguna looked at his feet. 
	"No, no, watch me, then you figure it out." Squall motioned, then did 
the
overhand swing again. He stepped back. "Now you try. Remember to lead with 
the
non-dominant foot."
	Laguna place his non-dominant foot in front of him, and stepped into 
the swing.
He completed it, and was amazed at how good it felt. Maybe the gunblade 
wasn't
such a bad weapon after all. And he could shoot with it too?
	"So how do I fire it?" Laguna asked, looking at the Revolver.
	"That comes later. Now we'll teach you the "Swipe Slash"." Squall 
said. Laguna
scratched his head with his free hand.
	"Again, watch me, then copy it when I'm a safe distance away." He 
said, and
performed a "Swipe Slash" which was nothing but holding the Lionheart away 
from
you diagonally, and running it straight across the air in front of you.
	"It doesn't look like much." Laguna commented after he did it. "Could
disembowel someone though."
	"Yeah, but when it's paired with the overhand swing, then it's 
something
damaging." Squall said, and stepped back. "Now you try." 
	Laguna did a "Swipe Slash" with ease, much to Squall's surprise. He 
picked up
things rather quickly, for an idiot. 
	"Ok, now do this." Squall commanded and did an overhead swing that 
immediately
went into a "Swipe Slash".
	"Wow, that's nice!" Laguna looked at his son, clearly impressed. "Can 
you keep
doing that over and over?" He asked.
	"Yeah, it's called "Renzokuken" and it's a pain-in-the-ass techinque
endurance-wise. I think I'm the only one in the world that can do it 
completely
without passing out from the complete amount of stamina it takes." He said
casually. "You can try it though. I really only use it when I'm in a 
desperate
or critical situation."
	"Um...hmmm..." Laguna pondered, then tried to do Renzokuken, but only 
got 4
swipes in before his arms began to ache.
	"It makes muscles hurt that a person shouldn't even use!" Laguna 
complained,
and rotated his arm in it's socket to get the stiffness out.
	"And as for the gun part, there is no real way to do it. You just 
pull the
trigger as you land a hit." Squall told him. "And now you know the basics of
using a gunblade." Squall pulled his Lionheart into Offensive position, and 
set
his feet. "So let's see how you do."
	"You-!" Laguna looked at him in shock, "You want me to attack you?!"
	"It's just sparring. I want to see if you've been paying attention." 
He said.
	"Ok..." Laguna conceded, "But go easy on me, I'm getting old, you 
know."
	"Take your position." Squall warned him.
	"Which one?" Laguna asked.
	"Offensive, you idi-" Squall began, but caught himself. "Just, 
Offensive
position. Always enter a battle in offensive position unless you know the 
enemy
is going to jump you immediately." 
	"Oh, ok." Laguna said, and got into Offensive position.
	"Ready?" Squall asked him.
	"Yeah, but if you want to call me and idiot, do it to my face. In 
your eyes, I
probably deserve it." Laguna said from behind the Revolver. Squall looked
surprised, and dropped his guard slightly.
	"Prepare yourself!" Laguna yelled and rushed at Squall, gunblade 
raised. As he
swung it down, Squall blocked it with ease and deflected it off the 
Lionheart.
	"You know, a surprise statement won't make me an easy target." Squall 
said, a
slight bit of hostility in his voice. Laguna rushed at him again, and Squall
blocked it, but before he could parry, Laguna tried a Swipe Slash on him.
However, he also blocked that as well, but it made him fall back, and lose 
some
ground.
	"It was the truth. I am an idiot. I made some horrible mistakes in my 
life."
Laguna said, and the two gunblades slid apart. 
	"What about the woman you loved? You left her to die!" Squall cried 
and rushed
Laguna. He blocked the blow weakly, and had to slide out of the way to avoid
getting hit.
	"I was trying to save Elle!" Laguna shot back as the blades met yet 
again. "I
had no idea childbirth would kill such a strong woman!"
	"Why'd you let her get kidnapped in the first place?!" Squall yelled 
angrily,
showing emotion for the first time Laguna had seen since finding him again.
	"Adel was kidnapping every little girl in the world!" He yelled back, 
"How was
I supposed to react? Raine was perfectly healthy when I left, and she wanted 
me
to find Ellone!"
	"And you were gone for a whole year, leaving your wife behind while 
she was
with child?" Squall asked him vehemently as the gunblades clashed between 
them.
	"I didn't know!" Laguna defended himself. Squall stopped in mid 
swing, and him
and Laguna passed each other. Squall spun around and used the Lionheart to 
help
him keep his balance. Laguna ran until he hit a wall, then he used it to turn
himself around.
	"You didn't know...?" He asked blankly, his gunblade in the "At Ease" 
position.
	"I didn't know! After I found Elle, I sent her home ahead of me, and 
when I
returned to Winhill, Raine was dead, and the townspeople had sent my children
off to some orphanage; And they wouldn't tell me where the hell it was! I 
spent
years looking for you and Elle after that!" He held his hands out weakly. "I
thought becoming the President of Esthar would help me find you, but you two 
had
already been shipped off to your respective Gardens, from what Ellone tells 
me."
	"She was at Balamb...no, not for the whole time. She transferred just 
after my
15th birthday. Where was she before then?" Squall asked him.
	"Centra Garden. It was the Garden I trained in before it went 
underground."
	"There IS a Centra Garden?" Squall asked dumbfoundedly.
	"There was before it went underground. Ellone says it's where Edea 
trains her
elite "White' SeeDs now." Laguna told him.
	Squall looked down at he floor. "But how could you let Mother die?!" 
He yelled,
"How could you? You could have done something...?" Squall was fighting with 
his
inner turmoil, trying to make heads or tails of it. He looked at Laguna, a
strange expression in his eyes.
	"I- I know this isn't your fault." He said, looking at his father 
with his head
bent down and turned to one side. The gunblade balanced precariously between 
the
At Ease position and the Offensive position as he spoke. His hands were 
visibly
shaking from inside the gloves he always wore. "But...I still hate you for 
what
happened. Even though it isn't your fault. Even though you had no control 
over
what happened...even though you tried your best...." Squall raised the 
Lionheart
into Attack position, and came at him with all his anger fueling his 
strength.
"BUT SOMEONE HAS TO BE BLAMED!" 
	Laguna held his gunblade up and defended Squall's blows, each one 
weakening his
arms more and more. Was this...? He was using the Renzokuken technique on 
him! 
	On the last hit, Squall put all his remaining strength and anger into 
it, and
slammed the Lionheart hard against the Revolver. The Revolver flew out of
Laguna's hands, and the force of the blow knocked him onto his back slightly
beneath Squall. 
	As the Revolver spun across the floor, showering the area with 
sparks, the tip
of the Lionheart cut deep into the metal floor just a fraction of an inch 
away
from Laguna's head. He looked over at the gouge in the floor, and noticed 
that a
couple of his hairs were missing, but that was the least of his worries now.
	Laguna rose to a sitting position as Squall leaned hard on the 
Lionheart, using
it to support his weight. This just drove it deeper into the rend in the 
floor
with a horrible squeal.
		Squall was breathing hard, sweat pouring down his face in tiny 
drops. His eyes
were closed, and his grip on the Lionheart did not ease up. Laguna got into a
kneeling position, and put one of his hands carefully on Squall's shoulders. 
	"Squall...?" He asked tenatively. Squall began to slump forward, 
without
opening his eyes. Laguna put his arms around his son, and hugged him close to
him. Even if he was 17, and SeeDs best mercenary, and Commander of Balamb
Garden, he was still a child. A child who needed someone. 
	Squall didn't fight his father, but instead let go of the Lionheart 
and leaned
into his arms openly, kneeling on the floor in front of him.
	"Dad...?" Squall asked quietly. It was the first time he had called 
him that,
and it sounded a little strange.
	"Yeah, Squall?" He answered.
	"I'm...sorry. This wasn't supposed to end up like this."
	"I didn't think it was." Laguna said quietly, his arms still around 
his son.
	"Whatever happened to that time?" Squall asked, "Fathers and children 
shouldn't
be fighting like this. We should be building birdhouses, or fishing, or
something, but not this."
	Laguna looked over his son's shoulder. In the floor of the Ragnarok, 
he could
just barely see his reflection. The way he was turned made the gouge in the
floor appear across his face, just like Squall's scar. It made him sad,
regretting all the moments they had missed.
	"Will you tell me...about mom?" Squall asked in a pained voice. "Tell 
me all
about her, ok...dad...?"
	Laguna tousled his son's sweat-soaked hair.
	"Nothing would please me more." He said with a smile.

***********************************************

	Rinoa sat in front of the doors to the hold of the Ragnarok, 
listening to the
battle inside. She had almost ran in there when she heard Squall scream like
that. Squall had completely lost it, but Laguna was alright- she could hear
everything. 
	How would Squall act now that he had gotten years of emotional 
frustration out
of the way? Her eyes watered up, and the tears began to fall while she sat
against the door, her knees drawn to her chest, rocking back and forth ever 
so
slightly. 
	She was moved by what had gone on inside. And she was also a little 
jealous
that Squall and his dad had reconciled, but she still had no one but Squall.
Well, she had friends- Selphie, Quistis, Zell, Irvine...but it was a 
different
kind of something she longed for. As for anything beyond friendship, she had
only her knight in leather fur-lined armor. 
	She sniffled quietly, and listened for more goings-on inside the 
hull, but they
either weren't speaking, or they were being too quiet to hear. Hopefully, 
Squall
hadn't comitted patricide *and* made enemies of the continent of Esthar. 
	Irvine walked by, his hands in his pockets. Rinoa quickly hid her 
face in her
knees, and used her hair to hide any remaining evidence of her tears. 
	"Rinoa? You cryin'? Something the matter?" He asked, looking down at 
her.
	"No no, I'm fine!" She said, and tried waving him off.
	"What's wrong, Rinoa? Why won't you look at me?"
	"I'm guarding the hold!" She said as cheerily as she could sound, 
"Squall and
Laguna are having a talk inside."
	"Alright....but remember, if you have a problem, come to Irvine here, 
alright?"
He said as he patted her head and strode off.
	She sighed in relief. At least it would settle down around here. She 
wiped her
eyes, and began to hum a song her mother had sung long ago.

***********************************************

End Chapter 4! ;_;