Tori: HERE WE GO!!!
Ke-Ke#10: …joy…
Tori: Well, it's the introduction chapter to what everyone's been waiting for!
Ke#6: And…?
Tori: Oh yeah! ^__^ Thanks! You're a nice one! Um, I didn't write this chapter. Nope, this was written by but Heero, Trowa, Relena, Wu Fei, Duo, Quatre, and Duet. I helped a little on the first part, but that was it! I've actually been too busy chewing all my fake nails off.
*Bonus Mini-Theater 12*
Twice upon a harmless e-mail…
Narrowing her eyes, Duet clicked open her inbox and promptly facefaulted. Right off her chair. On her face. From her chair. And landed-you get the idea. "HOW MANY PEOPLE REPLIED TO THIS THING!?" she cried when she had climbed back into her seat. "You guys… Rashid… Cathy… Dorothy… Relena… TREIZE!? How did this get to OZ!?"
"Newsflash, Du. That thing has been around the world and back," Duo smirked, "Heh. Guess who got it to OZ in the first place…"
There was a collective "YOU MORON!" directed at the poor braided boy before Duet hit print and the machine began spewing nineteen alternately answered copies of The E-mail.
"I sent this to FIVE people…" Duet seethed, snatching up the papers and flipping through them. "God, I hope no one else got a hold of these…"
"Ditto there"
"Yeah."
"Righty-oh!"
"That'd be pretty bad."
"…"
"Trowa, is there something you know that you're not telling us…?" Heero frowned, taking a few of the letters and sifting through them.
"What would you do if I told you… never mind."
"Trowa… Who else did you send this too?" Quatre pressed, scanning the e-mail addresses.
"Erm…"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Wu Fei howled, clutching the papers to his chest. "YOU SENT THIS TO TORI, YOU… You… BAKAYAROU!!!"
Five pairs of eyes fixed their cold stares on the unfortunate Heavyarms pilot.
"Eh heh… I can explain…"
"Explain later! We have to do something NOW! For all we know, those letter could be in her hands this very moment. Or even worse…on FanFiction.Net!" Duo moaned, his head in his hands.
"Hold up… I've got a plan…" Quatre's eyes sparkled.
When Good E-mails Go Bad
Dear Fan Fiction authors and authoresses, HA HA HA. Laugh it up. It's your turn now.
Eternally wishing for your demise,
The Gundam Pilots
Duet: Oh! I love the signature!
Fill it out, copy, paste, and send. It doesn't get any simpler.
Duo: Now we need some REALLY good questions. Well, the first two can stay, cuz they're kinda important, but after that, sweet, sweet revenge…
1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, maiden if married, AND last) and nom de plume (^o^ fancy word for pseudonym)
2. Age
3. Gender
4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend
Duo: This question STAYS!
All: *nods*
5. What do you look like? O.o
Duet: *deathglares Heero* What do you care?
Heero: Is it a crime to want a mental picture?
Duet: Two legs, two arms, and a head.
Duo: Duet, you don't understand how guys think.
Duet: Au contraire… -___- I know all too well.
6. Favorite Band
7.Least Favorite Band
8. Favorite Song
Heero: *sadistic smile* Sorry, but music rules all.
Wu Fei: What are you apologizing for!?
9. What's your personal motto?
10. What kind of idiot ARE you?
Wu Fei: Nice touch, Duo.
Duet: Five bucks says someone says the Creamy Kind. *pulls a wad of money out of her shirt, plucks out a five, and returns the rest*
Trowa: Double or nothing says someone's going to be unoriginal and copy that… *slips a ten out of his own wallet*
Duo: Hold up! Hold up. I just wanna touch Duet's $5 bill…
Duet: Go away, Duo!
11. What was your favorite year of school and fondest memory from it?
???: Getting nostalgic already I see…
All: *turn and look*
Duet: Relena! What are you doing here!?
Relena: I wanted to help exact revenge.
12. What is your favorite word?
13. What is your least favorite word?
14. What was (is) you graduating prank?
Duo & Duet: Welding the hinges… Awwww-yeaaaahhhh… *grin in unison and high-five*
Heero: …super-gluing a desk to the ceiling and turning the rest over and gluing them to the floor…*reaches back two palms over his shoulders which Wu Fei suavely slaps*
Trowa: Chicken in the dropped ceiling and fish in the swimming pool-
Quatre: -which promptly died.
Relena: *rolls eyes* You guys are so bad…
15. What's your SINGLE favorite anime (besides Gundam Wing, because we know you love us the most)
16. Would you strike against Bandai if Duet held another sit-in on their front step oh, say… six-ish?
Wu Fei: Rallying your minions, I see…
Duet: It just doesn't work with one person!
Relena: How would you get them to Japan in the first place?
Duet: I'll call in a favor from that Gore guy. I mean, I did help him invent the internet after all…
All: *sigh* …moron…
17. Who is your hero?
Quatre: You know, I still can't spell that without two e's on the first try.
Duo: *raises hand and bows head* Similar affliction.
18. Why?
19. Write me a short haiku, please.
20. Bulbasaur- animal or plant?
21. Are you a nice person?
22. Can I have your phone number?
Relena: Wu Fei, I'll let you get away with that only because you didn't ask if they were pretty or something…
Wu Fei: Like that matters! I like people I can have great conversations with. Looks aren't as important as people make them out to be.
Relena: *arches eyebrow* Really? They why does Duo do this? *mimics Duo* Ah! BREASTS AND TWO LEGS! *drool*
Duo: *level stare directed at Relena* Shut it, lady. I haven't done that since I hooked up with Kat.
Duet: You did it when you were with me… *cough* Anyway…can I have the guys' phone numbers?
Quatre: It's not safe for anyone to give out that kind of information over the internet, Duet.
Duet: *thinks for a minute* Okay, then. Well, ours is 867-5309 since- *WHAP!* Owie… *covers head*
Wu Fei: Serves you right.
Heero: *singing to himself* Eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni~e~ne
23. Hobby/ies?
24. What's your theme song? (a.k.a. If you busted out on the silver screen, what'd be playing in the background?)
Trowa: Nice abuse of contractions and imagery there, Duet.
Duet: Arigatou!
Trowa: Tori is going to hate you for that…
Quatre: Heero might, too.
Heero: *grumbles* …abuse of Japanese language…
Duet: Hee-chan!? NEVER! *glomps Heero*
Heero: *still stone-faced* …versus undeniable cuteness…
25. Who's your best friend?
26. What are you wearing right now?
27. For $50 bucks, would you take it off?
28. What do you want to be when you grow up? (Sorry, but we don't intend to grow up)
Relena: I love the honesty…
29. In three words, describe what makes someone beautiful.
30. You were really looking foreword this chapter, only to be disappointed, weren't you?
31. Um… Who is you're favorite Gundam pilot?
32. What is the meaning of life?
Duo: 42, naturally.
Heero: If that's so, then why? What was the question it answered?
Duo: …you're getting all philosophical on me…
33. Chubakabra, The Stupid Crazy Monkey Cats With Weed, or The Monsignor Kennedys?
Duo: STUPID CRAZY MONKEY CATS WITH WEED!
Trowa: No, Chubakabra…
Wu Fei: The Monsignor Kennedys!
Heero: Doesn't matter to me… I just sit there holding the guitar and looking good. Oh, and singing.
Duet: I still think we should be More Than Mike.
Duo, Trowa, & Wu Fei: *deathglare Duet*
Trowa: *snatches Duet's Less Than Jake cd and drops it behind the couch*
Quatre: *sigh* It's for a band…
Tro, Duo, Fei, and Duet: *start a huge argument*
34. What's your favorite literature genre(s)? (humor, angst, romance…)
35. Know any languages?
Trowa: Plagiarizing the original E-Mail, are we?
Duo: *holds head* I'm running out of questions!
Relena: ¬__¬ You can't come up with fifty original questions between the six of you?
Duet: ¬__¬ Did you come to help…or are you just here to offer sarcastic comments?
36. Who is your favorite FanFiction.Net author?
Duet: *whispers* Nobody say Tori…
Quatre: Duet!
Duet: Hey! She promised she wouldn't edit ANY of this! ^___~
Quatre: Yes, but she will read it…
37. Should we stop teasing Trowa and Michelle {Princess}?
Trowa: Yes.
Duet: NEVER! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
38. Is Jell-O solid or liquid?
39 Doesn't the song Cruel Angel's Thesis kick ass?
40. Would you rather eat a Spicy Stewed Doughnut or Mochi?
Relena: *takes away Heero's Monster Rancher game*
Duet: I assume by Mochi, you mean the platypus thing?
Trowa: Then what's a Spicy Stewed Doughnut?
Duo: Heero's Trigun CD…
Duet: *sticks tongue out* I wouldn't eat either of them…
41. If you had five dollars and a pool noodle, WHAT WOULD YOU DO!?
42. How many fanfictions have you published?
43. Favorite compass direction? (North, West…)
44. Favorite ice cream flavor?
45. Favorite non-anime TV show?
46. Favorite subject at school? (Don't BS us with crap like 'recess' or 'lunch' either…)
47. Favorite, uhhh…ummm…Eh, heh… Pokémon?
Duo: Crap, we're running out again…
Quatre: Five lines of favorites didn't help much…
Relena: Three left, guys! ^___^ You can get it!
Duet: Good typing, Heero. That's exactly the face she made, too.
48. Who do you want to see run for president of the U.S.A.?
49. Why?
50. Now wasn't this disappointingly sucky?
Relena & Duet: *dancing around* WAIII! ^___^ We're done!
Heero: *cracks knuckles* Someone else can type next time.
Quatre: I think Tori's a little miffed that we took so long…
Trowa: We are the Inevitably Late Pilots.
Wu Fei: I feel it necessary to explain to the readers that this took us about a month to complete.
Tori: And that I am not at all responsible for ANY of this. Quatre: She awakens…
Tori: You told me not to bother you while you finished up.
Relena: So you fell asleep in Duo's room?
Tori: No, I passed out. It smells like Nair and burnt plastic in there.
Duet: It was a bug, not plastic.
Tori: …
Duet: I got a new Zippo lighter! ^____^
Heero: You're going to burn the house down…
Duet: …?
*awkward silence*
Tori: *kicks Heero out of computer chair and takes over keyboard*
Wu Fei: Well, while you're there, you can answer the questions we've prepared.
Tori: ^____^ Now it's my turn to have fun!
Duo: *turns to look at others* Heh.
Tori: *starts reading the questions*
All: *snicker*
Tori: *falls over dead*