Things to know before reading:

--Yay…a songfic-like thingy. The song is from The Lion King 2…yes, I know, time to grab your torches and pitchforks. I felt like writing a songfic-like thingy, and when I was looking through my journal of last-year-ago I found this song and thought, hey, part of this sounds like what Dawnshadow might be thinking about turning into a Herald. Part of it, mind you. It still has the whole "we are one" thing mostly in it, and most of it kinda doesn't relate even though I tried to get it to…so just bear with it. Yay. Also, it might be kind of hard to understand…that's because two characters are singing it. One is speaking for himself and all of the parent-people, and the other is the young one talking about herself. In other words, one is in third-person and one is in first-person, and that's how you can tell the difference.

--Oh, btw, the lyrics are the italicized words in the weird-yet-cool pointy squiggly things. ^-^

--Some of the characters in this story are kinda-sorta 'based' on people that I know. Derik, for instance, is based on a very nice yet sarcastic person I know named Derek. Havlah Lebetter is another instance…when I first wrote this chapter, Yue-chan and I held a very great dislike (putting it mildly for yue-chan there) for a person named Havalah. I guess now I've kinda made up with this person and now feel bad about making her the main antagonist for this story. Havlah is not based upon Havalah, and bears none of her greatly contemptuous thoughts or anything.

--I just realized…none of you know Havalah, so the previous note doesn't matter. But that's alright, 'cause now I feel much better. ^.^

--Sorry for the extremely long author's note. I'll let you read what you've been wanting to read now.

~Disclaimer: I don't own that Lion King Song. ^-^()

Kismet of a Changechild

Chapter XII

By Aura Kage

Predawn. Dawnshadow struggled awake, groaning as she rolled out from under the bed and came to her feet. Derik had told her to wake up this early to start her Firestarting lessons with Griff…yesterday it had seemed good, but right now it was a punishment. But she needed to get up this early…to wash and dress in her Greys, then to go eat. Perhaps a candlemark after true dawn, she would be ready.

Lucky Snowsong. He gets to sleep longer than I do…

Dawnshadow rubbed her eyes with one hand, twisting the doorknob with the other and leaning heavily on the smooth wood to open it. She yawned drowsily as the door slid languidly, as if some force was making the movement fast but slow enough so as to be safe. Not safe enough, apparently…

"Ow!"

"Oh!"

Dawnshadow started, standing straight up as the stifled cry echoed in the empty hallways. She stepped out of the room and shut the door quickly, bending down to peer more closely at the dark form, pupils dilating and catching what little light was emanating in from the windows. She could just make out a flash of blue as the figure struggled to its feet.

"Ow…" the form said again, the tone of voice indicating that he was male.

"Sorry!" Dawnshadow whispered, extending a hand to help him up. When he didn't take it, she wondered why; then realized that humans couldn't see very well in the dark. Well, not as good as she could, anyway.

"That's alright," he murmured back, getting to his feet himself. Dawnshadow waited until it seemed that he was standing up, then tried to interpret his features.

"By the way, I'm Zohariel," the boy said, extending a hand which Dawnshadow took awkwardly. They shook briefly, then withdrew and stood in silence, each wondering what was going to happen next.

"Oh – sorry, I forgot. I'm Dawnshadow," the Changechild said, and the shadows shifted where Zohariel was.

"Dawnshadow?" Zoh said, surprised and intrigued. "Really? You're the Changechild?"

"Well…yeah, I guess," Dawnshadow said, feeling uncouth and scratching the back of her head. "I mean, yes. I am a Changechild. Why?"

"Nothing!" Zohariel said hastily, hoping he hadn't hurt her feelings and glad that she couldn't see in the dark (well, he thought she couldn't, anyway). "Nothing…I just wondered, you know."

"How do you know about me?"

"I heard it in the Unaffiliated," Zohariel explained, squinting and finding it did nothing to improve his vision. "Havlah and them were talking about it-"

"The Unaffiliated?" Dawnshadow interrupted, stepping back and narrowing her eyes at him. "You're a Blue?"

"Yes, but let me explain first!" Zohariel said quickly, holding out a hand to stop her in case she ran. She sounded wary, now – what had been told to her about Blues? "I'm not one of them – I'm not one of the mean ones like Havlah, I swear it!"

Silence. Dawnshadow shook her arm from Zoh's grip harshly.

"I'm sorry, I – I just need to leave," Dawnshadow said abruptly, feeling sad as she said so but taking Derik's advice to avoid all Blues. She called out behind her shoulder as she was running: "I believe you, though!"

Zohariel stood in rather shocked silence; his arm still extended in the place where it had fallen on the Changechild's arm. With a heavy sigh, the arm dropped to his side with a thump and the Blue continued to feel his way down the steps, wishing sorely for a lantern.

~

Dawnshadow stumbled out into the clearing where Griff had decided to hold their first lesson, her hair wet and slick against her skull and neck. Her eyes searched for the White-clad Herald, and she spotted him easily and walked toward him, feeling the air press against her semi-moist skin and hair, making a tremble tidal over her body. She hugged the Greys closer to her until she reached the Herald, who was looking at her with a crooked grin.

"Ready?" Griff asked, to which Dawnshadow responded with a rapid nod that sent crystalline droplets flying out behind her. He smiled warmly at her, and Dawnshadow wished that that smile could make her feel less cold. "Let's get started, then."

{As you go through life you'll see}

{There is so much that we}

{Don't understand}

Dawnshadow sat down on the ground, scarce verdant blades flattening under her weight. Griff ripped away clumps of the grass and flattened it with his hands, lifting out several small things from hidden pockets and laying them on the exposed rich soil.

"I'm guessing that you've never Firestarted on purpose," Griff predicted without waiting for a confirmation. "But now, you will. I chose to have you start lessons outside because I figured that you'd feel more comfortable here than in a classroom…and also, if you miss, then I don't accidentally want the Heralds' Collegium to burn down. At least out here, I can stop any strong blaze you might create…hopefully, anyway."

He laughed, and Dawnshadow echoed the joyful sound nervously; what if she did miss?

{And the only thing we know}

{Is things don't always go}

{The way we planned…}

The Changechild folded her legs the way Derik had shown her way-back-when, and closed her eyes, reaching with a mental hand deep into that little bit of her that held power, like a little oasis of gold-white light glowing in the depths and darkness of the unknown regions of herself. She dipped a hand in and withdrew it, concentrated on it, and grounded and centered unconsciously while Griff watched approvingly. She felt the power gather, leashed to her palm, and opened her eyes at the first target; a stick. She focused all of her concentration on it, and inside her mind she pictured herself as a full cat, lying concealed in glimmering foliage. Her tail coiled and whipped side to side, power coiled in her hind legs, and she leaped-

She 'landed' on the prey and 'dug' her claws into it, finding it strangely hard to grasp – the victim was both too big and too small. How to get at it? There was no weakness that she could see…how had she Firestarted before?

:Firestarting isn't calling out fire from midair, you know,: Griff said into her mind. :It's much subtler than that. You have to…well, you have to 'quiver' the little bits of the stick to create fire…like rubbing two sticks together, except at a much more diminutive level.:

Quiver? Dawnshadow could do quiver…in her mind, she sank claws deep into the flesh of her prey, and shook them. She was still too big; she got smaller, and this time vibrated the extremely little bits of the stick, rubbed them together, felt warmth begin and then…

With a hiss, a flame erupted from the stick, rising a hands-breadth into the air and then receding again with more hisses as it tried in vain to consume something other than the ashes it left in the stick's wake and moist earth. Dawnshadow started as well as the cat within did, and the cat extended paws that stopped the vibration and snuffed the fire out.

"Good job," Griff congratulated with a smile. "So at least you get how to start fires and how to stop them…maybe we'll just spent some time honing that. Now try this – it's a piece of coal. It's like plant matter all shoved together…"

Dawnshadow nodded and concentrated again, and found the cat intent upon the new victim, curious to see how this would burn. Now that she knew what it felt like to intentionally Firestart, she realized that she had felt that way in the earlier times she had started fires; with the colddrake, in the marketplace. The feeling had only been too quick for her to notice…

And now that she did notice it, she realized that the things she attempted to Firestart each had a different 'feel' to it. The forest had been difficult to Firestart, except that she had been scared…the cat had had to dig deep before it found anything easy to vibrate, and there had been so many different textures…

The cat pounced on the coal ferociously, Dawnshadow backing it. She concentrated until she almost felt herself shudder with the coal; then the tiniest lick of azure rose from the coal, tinged with gold, and Dawnshadow urged it higher until it engulfed the coal entirely. Now she was snuff it; Griff watched as Dawnshadow struggled to do so, but somehow it was harder this time than before. The cat seethed as it attempted to stop of the movement of its prey and failed, and Dawnshadow's frustration grew, only feeding the flames and making them rise, scorching the soil.

{But you'll see everyday}

{That we'll never turn away}

:Because plants are easy to burn,: Griff informed silently, :they are also hard to put out.:

:How…can…I?: Dawnshadow asked, already beginning to get exhausted as she threw out more power to stop the flames.

:Silly,: Griff chided with a hinting laugh. :You don't stop a fire by throwing fuel at it!:

I hate it when my teachers do that? Why can't they just go ahead and tell me straight what I need to do?

But she got the clue – she was putting out more power to stop the flames, but was only feeding them…so the solution was the opposite; she had to withdraw her power…

{When it seems all your dreams come undone…}

Snowsong struggled to manage the pool of magic that Darkwind had set out for him, finding it extremely difficult to even lift it. Kestri was perched on his head again, and seemed to be in deep concentration with him; helping him, trying to guide him.

{We will stand by your side,}

Somehow her presence gave him strength; he found enough of it to manage the pool of magic and absorb it, feeling like a tree root sponging up water, nutrients. It made him less exhausted than before, even though he had only waken up just a candlemark ago.

{Filled with hope and filled with pride…}

Darkwind watched with MageSight appraisingly while Vree hunted behind him, having no kestrel to play with at the moment. Kestri was entirely devoted to helping Snowsong do this; when she wasn't near him, the ex-scout seemed to be able to do nothing. What that meant, Darkwind didn't know…either Snowsong was a very odd Tayledras, or Kestri was a very odd kestrel. Or both.

Meanwhile, Dawnshadow retrieved her own power and poured it back into her power-oasis, snuffing the blue-gold flame that was left. She opened her eyes to find that she was sweating with the amount of concentration/frustration/power she was attempting to keep on short leash, and Griff was praising her again. She felt warmer, at least; had the Firestarting heated her, or had she merely adjusted to the temperature?

"Good job again, Dawn!" Griff said cheerfully, reaching over the soil to grasp her shoulder in congratulations. "Now try these last bits…"

{We are more than we are,}

{We are one…}

Dawnshadow complied and as Griff withdrew his hand she fell into trance, grounding and centering and meeting up again with the cat. It seemed to be an entirely new being residing within her, that little presence that occupied the back of her mind that was both primitive and intelligent. It watched her with profound, moon-glow eyes that the Changechild envisioned the cat to have.

Let's go, Dawnshadow said to the cat, and she thought she saw it nod before 'bounding away'. She opened her eyes again to sight her target – a piece of fabric – and even before she had properly withdrawn the power the cat had leaped and vibrated the tiny bits of the fabric and set it aflame.

Her pupils contracted as she stared straight at the flame; as the fabric turned to ash, she withdrew the power and found it wanted to stay and devour. The cat growled and swatted the fabric with a paw instinctively; the fabric only burned more.

:Confusion!: Dawnshadow emitted unknowingly to Griff, who watched the Changechild intently but did not give any hints. She learned better when she found out herself…if he told her exactly what to do, he might accidentally limit her subconscious that that single, correct way of doing it…and then she would be less versatile in whatever she needed to do.

Dawnshadow grew frustrated at Griff's silence and withdrew her power, but it was too late already; the flame was lit, and would continue even without her help. The cat snarled and Dawnshadow helped it try to snuff the fire, but the bits were vibrating too quickly.

:Fire breathes too, you know,: Griff hinted finally.

Dawnshadow contemplated this with the cat, and they both came to the same conclusion at the same time – fire breathed, so if air was cut off, then the fire couldn't burn any more, obviously. But how to put out a fire using Firestarting or Empathy? There was no way to obstruct fire using those methods…

Strangely enough, the cat found the solution in its own feral, blunt way, and Dawnshadow agreed. Emerging from her dream-state, Dawnshadow reached out and cupped the earth in her hand, pushing it over the flames and pressing it down. The soil was warm under her palm, but the cat berated the flames and it stopped.

"Excellent," Griff said, grinning. "You got it…I was afraid that you would be caught by that trick, too. Dirk pulled that on me when I was getting trained on my Firestarting…I didn't know that you could put out a fire by suffocating it, though."

"That was a trick," Dawnshadow accused in good spirits, attempting one of those wide smiles that were cast upon her all the time. Griff shrugged good-naturedly.

"Not every problem has to be solved with magic," he told her with a faraway tone, as if he were reciting sometime told to him by someone else, eyes staring off into the distance.

:Who knows – you may be able to one day be another Lavan Firestorm,: Kyrrith said encouragingly, making the Changechild jump as he intruded into her thoughts. :Well…without the depressing ending. Hopefully.:

:What do you mean, without the depressing ending-: Dawnshadow began.

"You're going to become a great Herald, Dawn," Griff interrupted, returning back to his body from his period of nostalgia and winking at her. "If you go this quick, you could probably be in Whites in a two, three years!"

{If there's so much I must be,}

{Can I still just be me, the way I am?}

Dawnshadow smiled faintly. In Whites – when she graduated from the Collegium and became a Herald, devoted her whole life to Valdemar and the Queen…what was her name? Selene? Selena? A little bit of Syrkaderik and implanted itself in her mind – what was going to be her future when she became a Herald? Riding circuit and setting things on fire for a few years, and then coming to a 'depressing ending'? What kind of a life was that?

And there was still the fact that she was a Changechild. Sure, the people in the marketplace had been afraid of her – attacked her – but they didn't realize that she had been Chosen, perhaps…they assumed Snowsong was the one, and even then they didn't listen to Herald Syrkaderik. On the other hand, she wasn't sure of the mages at the Collegium could somehow change her to where she looked more human…and even then, she didn't want that. The other Heralds didn't need to change their images to be accepted – she would be a living lie, receiving trust not because she was actually trusted for who she really was. Her logical, smart side said it was only for advantage; her soul – the cat? – said no. Absolutely no.

{Can I trust in my own heart,}

{Or am I just one part…}

{Of some big plan?}

Darkwind watched Snowsong and Kestri work the magic into a shield, the magic glowing dimly in his MageSight. To say just one was doing the work was to lie – Kestri seemed to be backing Snowsong up, patting him on the back and gently hinting at what to do next, like a friend watching over. No use getting the ex-scout to do this work by himself…somehow, someway, Darkwind knew that he would be otherwise as helpless as a fledgling without the kestrel. Was there some connection between the two?

:Parent die, Kestri come,: Vree explained, 'peering over Darkwind's mind'. :Snowsong sad, still sad, not that sad. See?:

Darkwind interpreted the forest gyre's words, trying to see things on the bondbird's level of thinking. He came up with: when Snowsong's parents died, the scout was very sad, and then bonded to Kestri, who made him less sad than before though the scout was still depressed about the whole orphan thing.

:I see,: Darkwind replied, watching Snowsong struggle with the magic and force it into a viable shield. No matter the level of concentration Snowsong seemed to be placing into the movement of the magic, it seemed to do nothing…as if he couldn't feel he was moving the magic at all, as if it were water slipping through his fingers. Or as if he were trying to grasp air and force it into solidity around him.

{Even those who are gone are with us as we go on…}

{Your journey has only begun…}

Inside Snowsong's mind, he concentrated, tried to 'feel' the magic in his mental 'hands', the feeling that Dawnshadow had explained when he asked how it felt to have magic. Kiriath was present in the very back of his mind, like someone far behind him and too insignificant at the moment to give attention to. He felt anguished, like he wasn't doing enough; this was so difficult, it was so hard, and Kestri seemed to be doing more work than he was…

:Think,: Kestri chided gently, her attention instantly pulled away from him to the working of magic. What she meant was concentrate, to stop wallowing in his own pity.

Just as he turned his attention back, he thought he 'saw' the shield snap into rigidity. Surprised, both Snowsong and Kestri lost focus and the shield faded…at once, both 'leaped' back to what they thought they had last been doing and the shield held. Snowsong tried to hold the shield as he came out of trance and cheered to himself, Kestri giving a killy of happiness while Darkwind watched intently.

:Good job,: the Tayledras congratulated. Snowsong flushed in embarrassment, but was clearly pleasured by the complement.

{Tears of pain, tears of joy}

{One thing nothing can destroy…}

From nearby, Havlah watched Dawnshadow, peering around the side of the building. Scowling in anger, she turned, the skirt-like bottom of her Blues waving like a cloak.

"That's her," she told the mage she had found in the marketplace after searching for quite some time. He was garbed in a large black cloak that was much to big for him; it was folded and ripped on the ground like sable water, and the sleeves were also much too large, engulfing his arms and hands completely. He simply had none of his flesh showing at all – just a shadow in the day, floating about. He had caught Havlah's attention immediately…and since he was a mage, he would be able to place that stupid Changechild into a…what was it called? Coercion spell.

The mage let out a raspy, throaty chuckle that made Havlah's spine shiver. His face was masked in shadows, though Havlah could swear he was grinning.

"Very well," he said dryly, making the Blue flinch at the ugliness of his voice. "She is it, then? And what would you like for me to do to her?"

"Make her not be able to tell on us when – I mean, if – we tease her or something," Havlah ordered. "See, she's a Firestarter…very dangerous, see? And she's been told to stay away from us, so if we…ah…accidentally meet up with her or something, we don't want her telling the Heralds that we did something we didn't actually do. She's like that."

"Hmm…" the mage murmured, leaning against the wall, not looking at the Changechild at all. Havlah wondered how he could place a coercion spell on her from so far away, or how he could spell something he hadn't even seen. Though the mage had seen the Changechild before, and knew exactly what she looked like, he hadn't told the Blue that.

"Very well," he said again, making Havlah smirk in glee. "She won't be able to talk to anyone of your activities except to another Unaffiliated, and also unable to attack you physically or magically if you ever meet. Is that alright?"

"Yes!" Havlah agreed a little too loudly, making Dawnshadow perk out of her trance and look suspiciously towards the Collegium. Griff lifted and eyebrow and summoned her back to the work of setting aflame a piece of paper, and Dawnshadow thought nothing more of the incident.

"Very well…" the mage repeated, summoning up the coercion spell with no difficulty and setting it on the Changechild, who didn't feel a thing. She shouldn't have – she already had quite a few coercion spells secretly on her to prevent her from doing a number of things…. To not attack the mage, to subconsciously stay focused on her secret duty, to be innocent and good to most everyone she met so she would be taken either as helpless or useless.

"Done," the mage muttered, and Havlah grinned and dug around in her pocket for the sack of coins. They jangled pleasantly as she held them out to the mage, but he lifted a sleeve, the hand hidden beneath the folds of ebony making a 'stop' sign to the Blue. "No. Money doesn't interest me anymore."

"Well, then, what do you want?" Havlah asked suspiciously, pocketing the sack and narrowing her eyes at the mage. What did he mean, 'not anymore'?

"When you wish to finally dispose of her, then bring her to me," the mage said, turning with a sweep of the numerous crevices in his cloak. "I will be in the marketplace…"

"Just…bring her to you?"

"Yes. Alive," the mage added as he departed, making Havlah roll her eyes in a 'duh' motion. "That will be my only payment."

"All right…if you really don't want this," Havlah said, patting the sack of coins and making them chime. The mage had no response; with a confused shrug, Havlah walked back to the Unaffiliated Collegium, feeling happier than she had ever been before.

{Is our pride, deep inside}

{We are one}

~

Khira watched Havlah go back to the Unaffiliated, laying in the tallish aureate grass and clover like a tigress watching over prey.

:Now what would she have to do here?: she said, talking to herself. :She has no business near the Collegium…just being in the Unaffiliated-place is too close for my comfort!:

The young Companion snorted as Havlah disappeared into the Unaffiliated-Collegium, standing and shaking herself free of plant-debris.

:I'm remembering this!: she shouted after Havlah, though she couldn't hear. :If anything bad happens around here, I'm proof that you did it, Sugar-Stealer!!:

With an indignant snort and a toss of her ivory tail, Khira trotted back to the more verdant region of the Companion's field.

The mage growled and scowled at the young Companion, having heard her speaking.

"You'll be proof, my little horsie…" he murmured, casting a coercion spell at Khira without her so much as blinking. He smiled, and a curt chuckle emitted scratchily from his throat. "If you can remember what happened…"

~

Snowsong, Dawnshadow, and Kestri walked back up to their room, the two former nearly crawling on fours up the steps in exhaustion while Kestri bobbed up and down sleepily on Snowsong's head, occasionally drifting off into sleep but moments later awakening with a start.

"Tired?" Snowsong asked tiredly.

"Tired," Dawnshadow agreed as they reached the top step. Snowsong opened the door and Dawnshadow muttered thanks as she stumbled in. There was no time to crawl under the bed; with a fatigued sigh, the Changechild collapsed onto the soft, blanket and pillow-less mattress.

:Tired…: Kestri agreed belatedly as Snowsong climbed onto the top bed, tempted to just lay half-off of it and begin sleeping.

:And it's not even sunset yet…: the Changechild thought aloud unknowingly. Snowsong moaned and nodded slightly; Kestri was already asleep.

:It only gets harder from here, kitten,: Kyrrith whispered into Dawnshadow's rapidly fading awareness.

:Good…: Dawnshadow yawned, curling into as small a ball as her mostly human body would allow and giving one last sigh before falling into darkness.

"Heya, time for-!" Derik began, swinging open the door. His voice faded as he saw both were already asleep, and he finished the sentence more quietly. "…Dinner. Hmm, guess you're already asleep. Well, more for me, then."

"If you're fast enough!" Kuriana giggled as she shot past and shoved him into the room.

"Hey!" Syrkaderik called out indignantly as he fell to the floor, answered only by the fading laughter. Rolling his eyes, he followed the Herald-Trainee at a much slower pace, muttering under his breath: "Girls…"