Things to know before reading:

--One more chapter and an epilogue to go…I congratulate you on the effort and time you spent in order to get this far in my story, and am pleased that you like it well enough to continue to read it as well. ^o^

Kismet of a Changechild

Chapter XVI

By Aura Kage

Something woke Kestri in the middle of the night.

She stirred sleepily, cooing like a pigeon, realizing that the fire was burning in the fireplace, gently crackling hissing – that was the noise that had waken her up. She settled back eyes closing…

And then remembered that there was no fireplace in this room.

The kestrel, aroused completely from her doze, flapped up to the wooden panels on the side of the bed that forbid Snowsong from rolling off in his sleep and possibly injuring himself. She was hallucinating – there was a fire in this room, but still no fireplace. Even as she watched with her dark acute eyes, the fire split into two pillars of flame that burned from the wooden ground, red-gold-orange and growling softly despite their size.

Kestri felt that if she could hiss, she would.

:What?: she demanded, glancing back over at Snowsong and seeing that he was still sleeping. :Who you? What want?:

The flames didn't answer – immediately, anyway. They shrank down as if a large, unseen hand were balling them up into orbs of ruby sunlight, and then in the flames manifested two raptors. Kestri glared at them fiercely, the only way she could look at anyone. As soon as she realized what they were, her heart skipped a beat; the birds, both of them, were hued as aureate as sun rays on a field of wheat, and their eyes were void of iris or pupil, merely a hue of black-blue vested with an endless meadow of stars.

Vorcelhawks.

The Avatars of the Star-Eyed.

:You know who we are,: one said, a female voice. One of the vorcelhawks looked up at her, probing astral gaze set upon the kestrel, who bobbed her tail involuntarily. :Do you know who you are?:

It was an unforeseen question; Kestri cooed again and didn't reply.

:Maybe it's time you remembered,: the other, the male, said. His voice was soft and comforting, but Kestri was not consoled.

:No,: she said forcefully, flaring her wings, uncommonly slate blue like a male kestrel's. She gave a quiet shriek, not enough of a sound to wake her bondmate.

:You can't try and hide from it forever,: Dawnfire continued off her lover's sentence. She flared her own wings, bright and golden, as if they were inlaid with diamonds glinting off the flame. Kestri folded her wings at her side, thoroughly impressed by the pretty plumage but not willing to show it. Much.

:Come now,: Tre'valen said. :Stop this lying.:

Kestri eyed the hawk-formed, turning her head to the side to better see them.

:You deny your true self, so you deny the Star-Eyed,: Dawnfire said, her tone somewhat cold. She flapped her great wings, and a splatter of molten novas sprinkled over the ground like little droplets of water. :A truth delayed is a truth less accepted.:

:I will not face it!: Kestri yelled at them, flapping her wings, however humble they were. :You can't make me!:

:Already it's showing!: Tre'valen shouted over the kestrel's cries. :Don't you see? Your feathers – they're bleaching, turning white, because you've been playing with magic. If you could just-:

:Did you hear me?: Kestri snarled. :I. Will. Not. Leave me alone!:

:So then, what are you?: Dawnfire argued. :You're denying yourself, child, that's what's happening! Listen to us, listen to the Star-Eyed – please. Become what you used to be. Become what you are.:

:Stoppit. Leave me alone.:

Tre'valen and Dawnfire gazed at the kestrel, celestial optics unable to betray any emotion – though if they could, it would be pity. The fire hung around them both like a fiery aura, and their forms flickered and died with the flames, as if they were losing their ability to manifest.

:This far away, we are weak,: Tre'valen said, explaining their momentary phase-out. :We cannot stay much longer.:

:Good,: Kestri told them icily.

:However, we are the truth, and you cannot deny us,: Dawnfire continued, immune to the insolence. :The Star-Eyed has been helping you, has been helping your friends…please repay her in this little way that will benefit you as well. Remember!:

:No!: Kestri screamed at them, crying her shrill killy's and flapping her wings violently, as if to scare them away. :No! Go away!:

The vorcelhawks looked at each other, sharing thoughts as swiftly as the wind. Finally they looked back up at Kestri, and let out a sigh in unison.

:You will come to, child,: Tre'valen said. :But remember…do not forget. For to forget yourself, to defy yourself…that is the worst thing you could ever possibly do.:

And with those parting words, the Vorcelhawks flapped their phoenix-like wings, and the flames grew and roared briefly before they dissolved into the bluish darkness, like specters.

Kestri stared at the place they had been for a moment, noting that there were not even scorch marks on the floor where the Avatars had sat. She tilted her head, accepted and dismissed the matter, and crawled back to Snowsong, where she promptly fell asleep.

~

When Dawnshadow woke up the next morning, Silver was still sleeping on her stomach, breathing peacefully. She moved up a little, blinked sleepily, and Silver gave a chicken-like sound mixed with an agitated purr and stood up, his muscles cramped. He stretched, spine arching, claws flexing on the blanket, before leaping off and giving Dawnshadow a shock as his powerful hindlegs retracted on her belly.

He had already dashed from the room before she could say anything, though, so instead she took a few heavy breaths and sat up, feeling worse for wear than she had the day before.

How could that be? I should be well by now…

She stood up experimentally, and her legs felt weak under the pressure of her weight. She kicked them a bit, felt them build up energy, become less sluggish…she shuddered, realizing how cold it was away from her nice warm bed, and decided to forsaken it for the morning anyway. She remembered her conversation with Silver, how he had accused her of taking to bed because she wanted to evade the fact that maybe – just maybe the gryphon-mage was alive.

And she didn't want to avoid anything. It was cowardly to do that. She should face her fears with a head held high.

But was that the cat or the girl talking?

I don't know. I don't care, as a matter of fact. I just need to get out of bed…

So she did, and found that her first steps sent dizziness into her head. Her vision swirled, colors blurring, and she steadied herself against the bedpost, closing her eyes and reopening them slowly.

What's happening?

Wherever she looked, her sight swam. Or, rather, the things that she was not looking at directly swam. She stared at a plant on a shelf, and everything out of her direct focus seemed to waver, making her feel detached from…herself. Like her head was staying still, while her body moved around in circles below her.

Oohhh…this feels awful…

:Kyrrith?: she said.

:Dawnshadow!: the Companion shouted in her mind joyfully, and this was not welcome – the insults his loud voice made her mind reel with nausea to a magnitude she had not experienced before. :Dawnshadow, you're awake!:

:Kyrrith…Kyrrith, I don't think that I…Kyrrith – Kyrrith, help me-: Dawnshadow pleaded in her mind, and then her faulted vision retired into darkness.

~

"Dawnshadow? Oh my gods – what's wrong with her?" Derik gasped, as he saw the Changechild back in the bed, her face tinged with a hazy gray like a winter sky, her eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Darea, the Healer by the bed, turned and glared at him.

"I think maybe I would be able to determine that if certain Heralds would leave me be," she said poisonously, standing up.

"But Mistress, you already know-" her red-haired apprentice piped up at the other side of the bed, and Darea hushed him by raising a hand to the air.

"Shush, Marth. That is only a theory."

"Well, then tell me the theory!" Derik demanded. "Tell me!"

"I had no idea Heralds were so rude," Darea said scornfully, turning back to the bed and sitting down. "Well, if it would quiet your prodigious jaw, then I will tell you. Was not Dawnshadow's creator killed?"

"Yes, days ago-"

"I think that maybe he was the source," Darea interrupted impatiently.

"The source?"

"I'm not finished yet," Darea hissed. "I think that maybe he was the source…of her magic. Of what kept her together – both of her, cat and girl. If you have imagination enough, then picture this in your mind: Dawn is only the finished product of the experiment of a sick little child, who found a cat and a girl and glued them together. The glue held for as long as the boy was living – but now that he is dead, it's beginning to fall apart. Had he properly created Dawn, and raised her with love – though that hardly happens with a Changechild, I have to admit – then she would have been perfectly fine had this happened…she would have become, again, a cat and a girl. But because I tried to pry away her coercion spells…I think maybe those were somehow part of what kept her tied together, what kept the cat and girl separate minds in the same body."

"Oh, oh, oh, wait!" Derik interrupted. "Let me try and finish it – so then, now that the minds are all mixed up, and the body's falling apart, she's going to…um, wait, I've got it, hold on-"

"I think maybe you had better leave confusing things like 'thought' to people who are used to it," Darea interrupted irritably.

An eruption of giggles exploded in Derik's head.

:Oh! Oh! That was a good one!:

:Shut up, Rae!:

"Well, Herald, the minds are intertwined, and the body is not being held together by the magic anymore," Darea continued. "So, now Dawn is somewhat like a can with two colors of paint inside – they've been mixed together far too much, and now that the can is gone…well, the paint is all going to spill out, and I don't know what's going to happen."

"Maybe Dawnie will turn into house for the single purpose to try and explain to me her condition," Derik said dryly. Marth choked on trying to hold back a laugh, and Darea turned her glare to him.

"I think maybe the Herald should leave me and my apprentice alone," Darea said slowly, as if Derik were hard of thinking.

"Alright," Derik said, shrugging. "The Herald is leaving now. Fare thee well!"

He turned and closed the door behind him, feigning his brightness until no one could see him.

Ooohh…poor Dawnie. What's gonna happen now? I hope it isn't anything bad…

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course something bad is going to happen, it always does…

:Chosen?: queried a voice in the back of his mind. Derik sighed in exasperation.

:Yes, Rae?:

:Herald Dawnshadow…if she dies…then there's not a very good chance that Kyrrith will survive as well,: Ranaena said uneasily. Derik sighed again, and rolled his eyes.

:Oh, really? So this all didn't matter to you until just now, when you realized your secret love would be in peril?:

:That's not very nice of you,: Ranaena said, sounding sincerely hurt. :But the point was…if she dies…there will be more than one broken heart, I think.:

:What d'you mean by that?:

:Well, have you noticed how close Dawnshadow and Snowsong seem to be?: Ranaena asked. :Vree recently shared with me that his bondmate thinks that Snowsong may be Lifebonded to someone.:

:Really. Lifebonded?: Derik echoed, exiting the Healers' Collegium and dragging his fingers gently against the wall. :Well, that's something. If he's Lifebonded, I'm willing to bet it's with Dawnshadow.:

:That's what he thinks,: Ranaena said gravely. :And if that's true…then if Dawnshadow dies, then Kyrrith will as well, and so will Snowsong, Kestri, and Kiriath.:

Derik inhaled through his teeth. :That will be a big loss.:

:No kidding.:

:Dawnshadow needs to live,: Derik said firmly. :She needs to. I can't have three friends and my dear Companion's love die all at once, can I?:

:Well, actually-:

:Shh, Rae! I don't want to hear it, the question wasn't meant to be answered,: Derik intervened into whatever smart comeback his Companion had. :Now, let's see…I think it's time I took that advice from the note.:

:What note? Advice?: Ranaena said suspiciously. :You never told me about any note!:

:Well, I figured that you'd find out about it sooner or later, since you go into my mind so much,: Derik said dryly. He 'felt' Ranaena stopping in thought for a moment, and then 'felt' her going through his memories like the pages of a book, skimming quickly through them.

:Talk to Silver…talk to Silver…dammit…talk to Silver…:

~

Finding a cat wasn't as easy as it seemed to be – he had searched the immediate grounds outside of the Heralds' Collegium and the Healers' Collegium, along with the borders of the palace gardens. Then he had gone to search the Companion's Field and a little of the marketplace, and found no trace of a cat, though he had searched half the day until evening.

Great. Just my luck. For all I know, he could be running to the Dorisha Plains and back. Dammit again.

"Oh, but you'll find him around," Herald Opal said offhandedly, as Derik finally went to consult her on the whereabouts of her pet. "He'll stray only within his territory – that's how cats are."

"Great," Derik said tiredly. "And just where would his territory be?"

The Herald stopped what she was doing for a moment and stared down at the wooden desk, contemplating.

"It would probably encompass all of the Heralds' and Healers' Collegium, and maybe the palace gardens," she said finally, totally missing Derik's groan. "Oh, but if you don't find him, dear, then you can just wait until nightfall. He'll usually come back begging for food."

"I'll be back, then," Derik said tiredly, leaving the room and going down the stairs.

And then, as if that wasn't enough on his plate-

"Herald Derik!" Snowsong called out, waving to him from the bottom of the stair well. "Do you know where Dawnshadow is? I've been looking for her everywhere, but I can't find her…"

"She's at the Healers' Collegium," Derik answered wearily. "She's sick."

"Still?" Snowsong said, face falling. Perched drowsily on a hawking glove was his bondbird, who fluffed her feathers irritably, possibly at the fact that Derik had lowered Snowsong's 'happiness meter.' "Will she get better soon?"

"Yeah, soon," Derik said, waving his hand at him as if to shake him off with the movement.

Hopefully, he added in his mind, walking down the hallway, feeling immensely tired. This was strange – usually he was so full of energy…

Maybe it's just because I'm depressed. Yeah, that's it…I'm depressed is all-

A shriek pierced into his thoughts – a shriek of mingled terror and rage and pain.

A shriek that, once he looked around in shock, he found was entirely within his thoughts.

And he realized that there could be only one who could give him those feelings with such clarity, as if he were sharing them himself-

"Rae!" the Herald cried in a breathless whisper, taking off for the Companion's Field.

~

Khira, the young filly Companion that was Kyrrith's niece, whinnied brightly and bounded towards Ranaena, silver hooves picking both daintily and wildly across the equine-trimmed grass of the field. She reached the object of her destination and snorted, leaping circles about her. Rae lifted her head and looked at the prancing Companion before giving a deep sigh and going back to her grazing.

:And why is little Khira so excited today?: she asked, amused by the Companion's joy. Khira laughed in her mind, the sound echoed by whinnies.

:'Cause!: she cried. :'Cause…'cause I d'know. But you don't need a reason to be happy!:

Ranaena gave a small mental grin and, as the filly passed before her, nipped at her tail. :Well, if you be 'happy' a little longer, then you're going to start bothering someone. Including me,: she added thoughtfully.

Khira stopped in her tracks and collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily, her middle pulsing with each breath, her head resting on the soft grass. :There, I've stopped.:

Rae grinned – mentally – and peered over at the filly, privately pleased to have some company. Kyrrith had been close to a state of insanity over his Chosen, and Kiriath had been moping for some unknown reason of her own, and refused to talk about whatever had been bothering her.

:Khira…where's your mother?: Rae asked suddenly, as the thought of Kiriath echoed her mind. Khira snorted and tossed her head, mane rippling like the crest of a wave.

:She doesn't want to play,: Khira said matter-of-factly. :And she doesn't want to talk. She told me to go play, so I'm playing. 'Cept now I'm resting. Do you think she'll like that?:

:I don't think she'll mind,: Ranaena said earnestly. :Well, I guess it's just you and me, then.:

:Oh, you want to play too?: Khira said, standing up immediately. :Okay! What do you want to play?:

:I never said I wanted to play,: Ranaena said indignantly. :I just said it was you and me, now.:

:Well, if you want to hang around with me, and if you don't want to play, then what do you want to do?: Khira asked, sounding exasperated. :There's only so much you can do if you're not…not…:

:Not what?: Ranaena asked, puzzled by the filly's sudden interruption of thought. :Not what? Playing? Khira? What's-:

"The Companion that harrrrmed me…" whispered a cold voice behind her. Ranaena felt her heart skip a beat at the venomous words, and her head turned to face the impossible-

No. It can't be.

"But it isss!" the gryphon-mage hissed, as if reading her mind, a reptilian cackle that sounded all too disfigured through his mangled throat and cracked beak. "Oh, but it isss, my little sssweet…you are the one that harrrrmed me, just when I had everything, oh everything, down…just when I had everything in the grasp of my talonsss!"

The wicked claws arced powerfully over his head, and before Rae could comprehend what that meant, they heaved down in a deadly horizontal slash over her middle and hindquarters. She gave a scream of agony and stumbled sideways onto the ground, part by the force of the blow, part by pure instinct to avoid, and Khira screamed herself and started running. For one fearful moment Ranaena thought that the filly was trying to charge the gryphon, and apparently, he did as well, as he raised a talon to slash at her. But she dodged clumsily out of the way and continued the frantic gallop to…to wherever she was going. Hopefully to get help.

But now it was Ranaena and the beast alone, and that gryphon had the most awful look as he raised his talon-

:NEVER!:

The Mindspoke bellow jarred both from their thoughts, and the gryphon was suddenly thrown onto his side. His talons and legs flailed against the air, but uselessly – for some reason, he couldn't get up.

:Rae, Rae…oh, gods, what did he do…:

:Derik!: Ranaena cried joyfully, as her Herald approached. For a moment, she forgot that she was injured and her hooves fought for purchase on the grass, but her left side sent pangs of pain and she gave an equine-like squeal of torment. :Derik – oh, gods, I don't think-:

:That thing…that's the…thing that created Dawnie!: Derik exclaimed. :But I thought you said-?:

:He's not dead, Derik,: Rae said, feeling herself already losing strength, and with it, most of her logical thought. :He's not dead, he hurt me, Derik…gods, he hurt me…:

:Shh, Rae – you have to get up,: Derik said, kneeling down by her head as the gryphon-mage struggled nearby. :Rae, you have to! I can't keep him down for very long, please, Rae-:

:But, Derik, I-:

:UP, Ranaena! UP!:

His stern tone somehow gave her strength, and she shuddered with pain as she tried to stand, tried to ignore the pain – to save it for feeling later –

And somehow, amazingly, she was on her feet. And was aware of Derik giving a wide Mindspeak, calling for help – but that wouldn't work, his gift was too weak -

Abruptly, like Derik had said it would, the strange way he had used of Fetching the gryphon down wore off, and he came to his feet, eyes glowing like embers, enraged light pulsing in narrowed optics.

"I will get you both for thisss," he hissed, beak opening in a wordless snarl of hatred as he lunged forward, talons extended and wings flared. Derik goaded the injured Rae forward, walking next to her and practically shoving her forward, but the gryphon was sure to hit-

A startled, pained neigh tore the air with its harshness, and Kyrrith trampled down on the gryphon, hooves pounding. But the gryphon recovered quickly, and though he exposed his belly for precious moments, on his back his talons and claws ripped and tore sightlessly at the pale form until it withdrew, striped with crimson.

The gryphon-mage turned and got to his feet, wings half-unfolded, breathing hard and now limping from the injuries that Kyrrith had inflicted, stained with red himself – though whether it was his own blood or blood that he had drawn, it couldn't be told.

"I will get you for this," the gryphon snarled, throwing his head back and forth with blind rage, mind numb and on a one-way track that considered only his lust for vengeance. "I will! I can hear you calling for help, pitiful little Herald – it won't work! You won't make it in time!"

Derik stared at the gryphon-mage in disbelief, feeling – despite himself – a dread so powerful it stunned his whole body.

"It's just…just you and me…" the gryphon-mage repeated, panting visibly from exhaustion. "And I will take care to go slowly, mind you almighty horsesss…"

:NEVER!:

A ragged whinny tore the air like a lightning bolt of sound, and Kiriath charged into the gray, hooves plummeting repetitively down on the gryphon-mage with relentless anger, eyes wide and ears flattened, a pure white equine viper. The gryphon screamed with pain and rolled over on his back, inducing the same trick he had used on Kyrrith, and Kiriath stepped off the gryphon, moaning in paint with her slashed-to-the-bone legs.

:Never,: she echoed after the first speaker, stepping in line beside her enraged brother. :You've tormented us long enough, mage!:

From behind Kiriath stepped a thoroughly scared and bewildered-looking Snowsong, though his face was a mask of fury, and a fierce-eyed Kestri, who was bowed over with her wings slightly unfolded, beak agape in an irate raptorial scowl.

The gryphon laughed. :So this is how I'm to 'die'?: he asked mockingly. :At the hands of a young Chosen Tayledras?:

Kiriath Mind-laughed, sounding both savagely happy and weary. :Not at the hands of a young Chosen Tayledras, my friend. At the talons of an old Chosen kestrel.:

All heads turned to her, including the other Companions and Derik, and Kestri shrieked and opened her wings fully-

A clap of unnatural thunder resounded, tearing the air, and the gryphon looked in shock at the sky, beak gaping open at the arrow of lightning coming down from the sky…

:NO!:

Zzzzzt!

The flash of amazingly bright white light threw all eyes and heads away, and a ripple of static crackled through fur and hair and feathers. Kestri shrieked again and folded her wings, her crest and wings bleached to a bright whiteness. Her eyes were now a fierce ice blue, rather than the soft dark brown.

And the gryphon-mage was nothing less than a scorch upon the ground and a few singed feathers floating lazily to rest on the bare, dry soil.

~

Dawnshadow abruptly screamed in agony in the middle of her 'sleep', and Darea started, green eyes wide with terror. Marth watched his teacher in surprise, never having seen her anything but irate, and Darea quickly calmed down and sat by the bed again, resting her hand on Dawnshadow's forehead. The Changechild was starting to spasm, breathing hard, her forehead beaded with sweat.

"What's happened?" Marth asked quietly.

"I don't know," Darea replied quickly, breathlessly, taking Dawnshadow's hand and squeezing it, immersing herself in magic and going into Dawnshadow's tormented 'mind' to see what was wrong. "I don't…gods. No."

Darea broke free of her trance, feeling weak and withered, shaking her head. "Gods…no…"

"What?" Marth demanded, leaping up and going by the bedside. The Changechild was moaning, and tossed to the side, her eyes slightly open as she stared at something unseen. Her right hand reached out and grasped Marth in a death-hold, frantic, and Marth yelped and stepped back from the icy clasp.

Dawnshadow looked in uncomprehending fear as her hand became transparent, as she could see Marth clearly through the vague hazy coloring that it now was, and fell into unconsciousness.