Bekki's Notes:  We… are… evil.  XD  This is what happens when you put Bekki Lou and Marika Webster in the same building together for a week.  Beware… * creepy music plays in the background *

Marika's Notes: * blank stare *  Is it my turn to say something?  Um… enjoy reading?  * back away from Bekki… slowly *

A general note: This is not meant to defame in any way anyone's religious beliefs. However the authors ARE Christians and fully believe in the seriousness of this story. This chapter was more like a little stress relief than anything else. I promise this is not making fun of anything in anyway. - Bekki Lou and Marika Webster

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This Satan Guy

Chapter Two

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Quatre looked at Duo, then to Heero, and back again.  "Um…"  He debated on whether or not to run for his life.  Heero was carrying a bible and Dorothy was Satan?  Well, he could agree with the last one, but it wasn't every day that you saw Heero carrying a Bible.  His gaze finally rested on Duo and he shook his head.  "Duo… what did you do to him?"

Violet eyes gazed at him without blinking. "He came to me with a question about Satan, so I answered him." His hands were folded neatly in his lap as though he hadn't just used the words Heero and Satan in the same sentence.

Quatre stared at him blankly, then blinked.

"Quatre, you look like you've seen a ghost!  Come on, what's with the weird eyes?"  Duo just grinned and leaned back in his chair.  "Don't tell me that you're going weirdo on me."

"I'm not, I just… Heero?  And a bible?  It just…  I'd sooner believe that Wufei painted Shenlong pink!"

Duo sat straight up and stared at his friend. "You know. I thought that you of all people would have an open mind. Everyone searches for something eventually. And if Heero can find the Truth, that's all the better. God forbid my friends end up burning in hell, or purgatory, that's even worse."

Quatre shook his head and sighed.  "I don't know, Duo.  Heero can believe what he wants to but you know that I have my own beliefs.  Don't try to pass yours on to me, just make sure that Heero doesn't get out of hand with this."

Duo shrugged.  "Heero?  Out of hand?  Yeah right!"

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"Deep and wide!  DEEP and WIDE!  There's a fountain flowing deep and wide!!!"

"What in the world is that?!"  Quatre shot out of bed and ran to the hall. Only to be greeted with a gruesome sight.

Heero stood in the hallway, obviously having come just then out of the shower. He trotted down the hallway with a towel dangling precariously from one hand as he belted out the tune yet again.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Quatre wondered if he was having a nightmare.  'I knew I shouldn't have eaten those day old tacos for a late night snack.'  Deciding that there would be no harm in getting on the nerves of dream-Heero, he marched up to the singing man and tapped him on the shoulder.  "Excuse me, Heero, but would you mind being a little quiet?  I'm trying to sleep here."

"Sleep?  Sleep?!  Who can sleep when there's good news to be shared!  His love is DEEP and WIDE!  DEEP and WIDE!!!"

Quatre groaned and stomped into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.  'A dream… it's all just a dream.  I'll go to sleep, and when I wake up, everything will be normal again.'

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Quatre whistled a tune to himself as he skipped down the stairs, unaware that it was the same tune as the one that haunted his dreams – no matter, after all, it was only a dream.  He stepped into the kitchen and his eyes went wide.

Heero jumped in front of him with a plate of… something.  "Hey, Quatre!  Want some cross-shaped pancakes?  It even has little chocolate chips, to remind us of the sins that the cross took with it!"

"Cr…Cross-shaped pancakes? Heero, you don't cook. And you certainly don't make cross-shaped pancakes. What is wrong with you?" Quatre blinked and moved around his friend mind set on getting some normal breakfast food for once. No sirree, no cross-shaped pancakes for him.

"But…but Quatre? Don't you want some? I made them myself and while you eat I can explain the story of Calvary to you. It'll be fun. I even made little croissant in the shape of the spears they used to pierce his side – it adds to the drama."

Quatre could have sworn he felt his eyebrow twitch.  "Heero…" he rubbed his temples and plopped down into a chair.  "I do not want any of your pancakes and I most certainly don't want to hear a story about a man being butchered to death while I eat.  Don't we have any cereal?"

Heero grinned and pulled down a box of cheerios.  He gladly poured a bowl for Quatre and watched over his shoulder as he ate.  It only took a moment for Quatre to get annoyed.  "What is it now?"

"Well," Heero took a seat next to his friend, "Ever noticed the little hole in the cheerios?"

Quatre eyed him warily and debated on whether or not to shove the bowl away.  "Uh… yeah?"

"There's a hole just like that in your heart, Quatre, and only God can fill it."

"GAAHH!!!"

Quatre shoved the bowl away. Surely he could find some food that wasn't symbolic of the child abuse his friend felt compelled to promote so badly.

"No more cereal?" Heero grinned. "That's okay, I fixed some stone shaped sausage for you too. And some egg whites to represent the cloud that Jesus ascended in to!"

"NO!" Quatre rose from the table. "I don't eat sausage, and I hate eggs! BACK OFF! I'm going to find Duo and see what he did to you. I want the old Heero back. The one who wasn't some sort of alien."

That said, Quatre stormed out of the kitchen off to find Duo, who by chance was just on his way inside.  "Hey, Quatre!  I just went to the video store!  Heero and I are going to watch the entire Bible Man series after breakfast!  Want to join us?"

That was it.  He was SURE that his eyebrow was twitching now.  Without saying a word, he grabbed Duo by the braid, causing the poor man to drop his videos all over the floor as the blonde man dragged him into his study and slammed the door.  With a fire in his eyes that looked the same as when he was on the Zero system, he growled in a low voice.  "What have you done to Heero?"

"I didn't do anything I swear. God works in mysterious ways. He read the Book and now he's changed. It's not a bad thing, Quatre. Maybe you could use a healthy dose of it too. Geez, you're so hostile. What crawled up your butt and died?"

Quatre threw his arms up in the air and collapsed to the floor, burying his face in his hands.  "I can't take this anymore??  Everything I've ever known to be true is changing!  Even now the God of Death is watching Bible Man and The Perfect Soldier, Mr. Sadistic himself is making cross-shaped pancakes!!"

Duo raised an eyebrow.  "Cross-shaped pancakes?  Why hadn't I thought of that?"

Quatre just let out a frustrated scream.  "That's it!  Either I've gone insane or the rest of the world has!!!"

Duo rolled his eyes at his friend and leaned over hauling him up from the floor, then pushing him onto the couch. "There's no need to be so melodramatic. Just think of it like this, Heero has found something to make him feel complete. You know that he's happier than he's been in ages. Who are you to want to take that away."

Quatre paused for a moment, seeming to actually think about what Duo just said.  It made sense.  If it made Heero happy, then it must be a good thing, right?  Anything that could make Heero wear a smile was definitely no small matter.  "Well," he sighed, "I guess you're right.  If Heero is happy, then so am I."

Duo grinned.  "Great!  So do you want to hear more about just what makes Heero happy or not really?"

"Not now, Duo.  But maybe later.  First let me adjust to Happy-Heero.  That in itself is going to be a huge change."

Duo nodded.  "Yeah, but no more death threats, huh?"

"Fine, for now." Quatre sighed heavily, then rested his head in his hands. His head felt like someone had shoved a red-hot poker through his temple and was happily twisting it around in circles.

"Great." Duo glanced at the door. "Please just try to be civil to him. I know you're a little distracted by it, but it's not so bad really. He'll simmer down in a few days, I promise."

"You really think he will?"

Duo shrugged.  "I know from experience.  Remember those mysterious lollipops that you found all over the house that time?"

"You mean the ones with the paper clothes and colored yarn hair?"

"Yep!" Duo sighed, "The infamous Lollipop Jesus[1]!"

Quatre decided not to comment. He raised himself up then held his hands up in defeat. "Okay. I give up. No more death threats or snide remarks. I got it."

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1 – The Lollipop Jesus is our dear friend, made from a blowpop and whatever else we could come up with.  Lots of fun.  ^^