Episode 2
Ken's Blind Date
***I DON'T OWN WEISS KREUZ***
** The setting is plush seats around a table. The usual background setting is hung high in the back. There is a large screen on the monitor, and the host is backstage. Ken is waiting in the wing, as the rest of Weiss is sitting in the audience, along with Schrient, and Schwarz**
The host is back stage fixing up his hair. His hairdresser flops out a bunch of gel and is fixing his hair. The sudden shout that he's on in 10 seconds startles him. He runs on stage and fixes everything just in time for the guy behind the camera to say "your on!"
Barry Milton: Hi folks! I'm Barry Milton, how is everyone doing?"
Crowd: *grumbles*
Barry Milton: *smiles with his shiny white teeth* Great! Isn't this wonderful. Today we have on our special show, Ken Hidaka, who will go on 3 blind dates, and we'll follow his every move!!!!
Ken: I'll be doing what??
Barry Milton: That's perfect, come on out and meet Ken Hidaka!!!
Ken: *stumbles out after being pushed by a producer, who smiles and gives him a thumbs up* Um.... Hi!?
Crowd: *goes wild, and begins shouting, "Ken-Ken". Weiss is bouncing around holding signs up with "Go Ken!" written on them. Farfello has a sign that reads, "Hurt God!", Schuldig has a sign reading, "Don't screw up!", Crawford's sign, "Don't let Schuldig screw this up!". Schrient is all laid out and is holding up feminist signs. Nagi is holding a sign, "Don't make me screw this up!"
Barry Milton: Take a seat Ken! *Continues to smile with his pearly whites*
Ken: *takes a seat* Why do you smile so much?
Barry Milton: Cause I'm the host!!!!! *Gives threatening look at Ken*
Ken: *backs away* OH..
Barry Milton: Lets have him go on his first blind date!!!!!!
Crowd: *cheers* KICK SOME ASS KEN!!!
Ken: Um. Yea. WAIT where are you taking me. Let go of me. *gets grabbed in a brown sac by a man off stage*
Barry Milton: Everyone, watch the screen!
**Screen shows Ken being dragged in a brown sac, and dumped on an aircraft carrier area. Guards are patrolling the area, with earpieces and guns, all around Ken. They all work for the show. **
Barry Milton: Lets introduce him to his 1st date!!!! *Pushes button on remote*
**A woman walks out**
Manx: What the hell are you doing here???
Ken: *turning red, and his eyes are bulging* I'm here for my date.
Manx: So I was told to meet someone hear for a date.
Ken: You're my date???? Hot damn! I scored!!!!
Manx: Not exactly.
Ken: What do you mean, not exactly???
Manx: Well, uh, this is what I mean. *Walks out with TV set on shoulder. Persia appears on it*
Persia: YOU'RE MY DATE??? *Shocked expression of him on screen*
Ken: Damn-it!!! Hell.
Hell: *sitting in the audience* If he says anything about me, I'm chopping off his..
Barry Milton: Well, their date is going up in the air, on a plane.
Schwarz, rest of Weiss, and Schrient: *all laughing their butts off* Hahahaha..
Ken: *hand to head* Why me?!
**Manx, Persia, and Ken all go up on a large plane, and are flying 1000's of feet in the air**
Ken: Please let this end..
Manx: What do we do now?
Persia: Shoot me?
Barry Milton: Well folks, it looks like this date could use a little spicing up!!!! *Pulls out remote, and pushes some buttons*
**Area where Manx and Persia are sitting falls out from under them, and they go flying down to the ground**
Barry Milton: Dang-it! I thought it was set Ken. ah well.. ratings are ratings.
Crowd: OOOOOoohhhhhhhh..
Ken: o_O
Manx: @_@
Persia: SAVE ME!!!
Ken: *jumps out through the hole* I'm coming!!!
Barry Milton: Great, out star is going to kill himself. *speaks into earpeice* JUMP!!
Guards on Plane: I don't get paid enough. *they all jump off* Wait, we all forgot parachutes.
BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! ~There's a giant explosion, and when the dust clears it reveals Ken dusting himself off, and guards falling from the sky, hitting the ground~
Tot: *eating popcorn* This show sucks! Change the channel!
Ken: Thank goodness I'm ok! This sucks..
Barry Milton: Where's your date?
Manx: Help me.
Persia: *_*.X_X..
Ken: I landed on my date. Crap, there out-cold. This sucks; this blind- dating thing doesn't seem to be working out too well.
Barry Milton: Don't worry, I'm sure your next blind date will be better. *starts laughing* HAHAHAHA.
Crowd: You know we can hear you!!!
Ken: So can I!!!
Barry Milton: Uuuuhhh. *whispers in earpiece* Mrfggmm.. Take him out.
**2 guards shown near Ken on screen**
2 Guards: Hi.
Ken: Um. Hi, what do you guys want?
2 Guards: *shock Ken, knocks him out cold, they shove him in a brown sac* Job well done. Next we have to drop him off in.
Barry Milton: Well folks, his next mind date will be even better.
**Screen changes to a dinner place, fancy. Butlers and Waiters are storming in and out of the kitchen. There's candle light area near the corner table**
Barry Milton: He'll love this next girl, her name's Ginger; she just broke up with her boyfriend Jerry. There she is!!!
**Screen shows Ken being dumped on the table, with foam coming from his mouth. Ginger is shown, long legged, brown haired woman. She is wearing skimpy clothes, and is sitting cross-legged on in her chair**
Ken: Wow what.
Ginger: *stands up and makes out with Ken, who faints* Hehe., guess I just have that charm.
Ken: O_O wow, what a woman!! So, what do you do for a living?
Ginger: *changes her legs, by un-crossing, and then re-crossing them* Well, I'm a stripper at Beck's Legs. They're always open.
Ken: *^_^* WOW!
Ginger: Yep, I'm usually on at 5 p.m. or so.. What do you do?
Ken: Well I'm part of an elite force, we're Weiss Kreuz, hunters of the knight.
Ginger: Ah, never heard of yah. *Twirls gum on finger*
Ken: Besides that, I work as a florist.
Ginger: You're a florist?????
Ken: Yep! *Smiles*
Ginger: Aren't male florist all.. you know..
Ken: No I don't know, never mind..
**Big man comes storming through the tables, and stands tall behind Ken**
Ginger: Bubba, get the hell outta here, ya hear me!!!
Bubba: But baby, I want you back!
Ken: *stands up* Well I'm Keeeennnnn. *looks up to see Bubba, and notices how big he is*
Ginger: *jumps on Ken* Come on baby! You're the only one for me!!! Not like Bubba, who didn't appreciate my skills..
Ken: You're a Stripper!!!
Ginger: So what, you're a damned florist.
Ken: Well, I uh.
Bubba: Come on baby, take me back.
Ginger: *starts kissing Ken* There's only one man for me..
Bubba: Oh hell no, you just kiss my girl?
Ken: Um.. yes?
Bubba: Let me take care of this bastard Ginger.. Then you and me, gonna get it on.
Ginger: Oh, I like it when you talk sexy.
Ken: O_o Help.
**Screen shows Ken getting pumbled by Bubba, and Ginger cheering him on**
Ginger: Kick him!!!
Ken: Mrffd. my head.
Bubba: Come back here I tain't done wit you.
Ken: SAVE ME!!!!! *Runs out of the restaurant*
Ginger: You rock my world, baby!
Bubba: *picks up Ginger and walks off* Time for Bubba to do his thang.
**Screen fuzzes out**
Barry Milton: Haha. So he's been unlucky so far, we're sure, he'll love his next date.
Tot: *throwing popcorn at the screen* Change the channel!!!
Barry Milton: We can't miss.
Weiss: Hahaha.. go Ken.
Schoen: *really getting into it* I wonder what his next date will be.
Crawford: Ten bucks says it's a man.
Schuldig: I wouldn't take that bet, but.. Ten bucks says its s deformed woman.
Farfello: Ten bucks says its now a female hooker, but used to be a man..
Schuldig and Crawford: DEAL!
Barry Milton: His last date is Mindy, a gentle person who is often lonely, but she has a cat, fluffy, to keep her busy.
**Screen shows Ken being kidnapped and dragged in a brown sac to someone's house, that is broken down and is filled with tons of cats**
Mindy: You must be Ken. Meow!
Ken: Um.. Where am I?
Mindy: *dressed as a cat, and is in her late 80's* I'm Mindy..
Ken: I think there;s some mistake.
Mindy: *carrying champagne* There's no mistake, hot stuff..
Ken: Um.. I'm florist, you don't want a guy like me..
Mindy: *changes to a deep male voice* No worries, I enjoy males like that.. Cause I used to be one..
Ken: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Mindy: Come and join me and the cats , GGggrrrr.
Ken: AAAAHHHHH CRAP!
Mindy: What?
Ken: I left my car keys in the car.
Mindy: Did, I mention I'm a hooker.?
Ken: GOD SAVe. me..
Farfello: He can't cause I gambled and one!! Go Mindy! *collects ten bucks from both Schuldig and Crawford, who are both frowning*
Ken: *Runs out of the house cursing* Wait, I have an idea!!! *runs off the screen*
Mindy: *steps out of the house* Darn it, lost another one.. Guess its just you and me fluffy.
Fluffy: Meow. *jumps on a fence, and runs away*
Mindy: Damn, all the good ones get away..
Barry Milton: Well it looks like Ken didn't have such.'
Ken: *is now back on stage* I'm back. Weiss, Schrient, Schwarz, come help me with this.
..................................
**Screen gets back into picture. Shows Weiss, Schrient, and Schwarz all helping with a large brown bag at Mindy's house. They toss the brown bag in the house and all run back to the studio**
Ken: Much better, now who's up for a date?
Weiss: Not a CHANCE!!
Schrient: Quiet, its back on.
Ken: Now, lets check in on our fellow host, Barry, how's it going down there Barry??
Barry Milton: HELP ME!! SOMEONE SAVE me,fffd.
**Screen shows the inside of the house with Barry tied up, and in Mindy's room. Mindy is sitting with her cats, laughing**
Mindy: I love this show..
Barry: Goithf.
**Cats crowd around Barry**
Barry: Oh hell.
Mindy: I love this show.
Crowd: Ahaahahah.
Tot: *eating popcorn* finally it got good..
**Everyone is crowding around the screen, watching and laughing. The producer is banging his head against a board backstage, saying, "I'm ruined.."**
...................................
Next episode: Episode 3: Brad Baby's Dating Wheel
**Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this one, there's plenty more to come.. talk to me sometimes, and maybe we'll discuss dating, lol**
** The setting is plush seats around a table. The usual background setting is hung high in the back. There is a large screen on the monitor, and the host is backstage. Ken is waiting in the wing, as the rest of Weiss is sitting in the audience, along with Schrient, and Schwarz**
The host is back stage fixing up his hair. His hairdresser flops out a bunch of gel and is fixing his hair. The sudden shout that he's on in 10 seconds startles him. He runs on stage and fixes everything just in time for the guy behind the camera to say "your on!"
Barry Milton: Hi folks! I'm Barry Milton, how is everyone doing?"
Crowd: *grumbles*
Barry Milton: *smiles with his shiny white teeth* Great! Isn't this wonderful. Today we have on our special show, Ken Hidaka, who will go on 3 blind dates, and we'll follow his every move!!!!
Ken: I'll be doing what??
Barry Milton: That's perfect, come on out and meet Ken Hidaka!!!
Ken: *stumbles out after being pushed by a producer, who smiles and gives him a thumbs up* Um.... Hi!?
Crowd: *goes wild, and begins shouting, "Ken-Ken". Weiss is bouncing around holding signs up with "Go Ken!" written on them. Farfello has a sign that reads, "Hurt God!", Schuldig has a sign reading, "Don't screw up!", Crawford's sign, "Don't let Schuldig screw this up!". Schrient is all laid out and is holding up feminist signs. Nagi is holding a sign, "Don't make me screw this up!"
Barry Milton: Take a seat Ken! *Continues to smile with his pearly whites*
Ken: *takes a seat* Why do you smile so much?
Barry Milton: Cause I'm the host!!!!! *Gives threatening look at Ken*
Ken: *backs away* OH..
Barry Milton: Lets have him go on his first blind date!!!!!!
Crowd: *cheers* KICK SOME ASS KEN!!!
Ken: Um. Yea. WAIT where are you taking me. Let go of me. *gets grabbed in a brown sac by a man off stage*
Barry Milton: Everyone, watch the screen!
**Screen shows Ken being dragged in a brown sac, and dumped on an aircraft carrier area. Guards are patrolling the area, with earpieces and guns, all around Ken. They all work for the show. **
Barry Milton: Lets introduce him to his 1st date!!!! *Pushes button on remote*
**A woman walks out**
Manx: What the hell are you doing here???
Ken: *turning red, and his eyes are bulging* I'm here for my date.
Manx: So I was told to meet someone hear for a date.
Ken: You're my date???? Hot damn! I scored!!!!
Manx: Not exactly.
Ken: What do you mean, not exactly???
Manx: Well, uh, this is what I mean. *Walks out with TV set on shoulder. Persia appears on it*
Persia: YOU'RE MY DATE??? *Shocked expression of him on screen*
Ken: Damn-it!!! Hell.
Hell: *sitting in the audience* If he says anything about me, I'm chopping off his..
Barry Milton: Well, their date is going up in the air, on a plane.
Schwarz, rest of Weiss, and Schrient: *all laughing their butts off* Hahahaha..
Ken: *hand to head* Why me?!
**Manx, Persia, and Ken all go up on a large plane, and are flying 1000's of feet in the air**
Ken: Please let this end..
Manx: What do we do now?
Persia: Shoot me?
Barry Milton: Well folks, it looks like this date could use a little spicing up!!!! *Pulls out remote, and pushes some buttons*
**Area where Manx and Persia are sitting falls out from under them, and they go flying down to the ground**
Barry Milton: Dang-it! I thought it was set Ken. ah well.. ratings are ratings.
Crowd: OOOOOoohhhhhhhh..
Ken: o_O
Manx: @_@
Persia: SAVE ME!!!
Ken: *jumps out through the hole* I'm coming!!!
Barry Milton: Great, out star is going to kill himself. *speaks into earpeice* JUMP!!
Guards on Plane: I don't get paid enough. *they all jump off* Wait, we all forgot parachutes.
BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! ~There's a giant explosion, and when the dust clears it reveals Ken dusting himself off, and guards falling from the sky, hitting the ground~
Tot: *eating popcorn* This show sucks! Change the channel!
Ken: Thank goodness I'm ok! This sucks..
Barry Milton: Where's your date?
Manx: Help me.
Persia: *_*.X_X..
Ken: I landed on my date. Crap, there out-cold. This sucks; this blind- dating thing doesn't seem to be working out too well.
Barry Milton: Don't worry, I'm sure your next blind date will be better. *starts laughing* HAHAHAHA.
Crowd: You know we can hear you!!!
Ken: So can I!!!
Barry Milton: Uuuuhhh. *whispers in earpiece* Mrfggmm.. Take him out.
**2 guards shown near Ken on screen**
2 Guards: Hi.
Ken: Um. Hi, what do you guys want?
2 Guards: *shock Ken, knocks him out cold, they shove him in a brown sac* Job well done. Next we have to drop him off in.
Barry Milton: Well folks, his next mind date will be even better.
**Screen changes to a dinner place, fancy. Butlers and Waiters are storming in and out of the kitchen. There's candle light area near the corner table**
Barry Milton: He'll love this next girl, her name's Ginger; she just broke up with her boyfriend Jerry. There she is!!!
**Screen shows Ken being dumped on the table, with foam coming from his mouth. Ginger is shown, long legged, brown haired woman. She is wearing skimpy clothes, and is sitting cross-legged on in her chair**
Ken: Wow what.
Ginger: *stands up and makes out with Ken, who faints* Hehe., guess I just have that charm.
Ken: O_O wow, what a woman!! So, what do you do for a living?
Ginger: *changes her legs, by un-crossing, and then re-crossing them* Well, I'm a stripper at Beck's Legs. They're always open.
Ken: *^_^* WOW!
Ginger: Yep, I'm usually on at 5 p.m. or so.. What do you do?
Ken: Well I'm part of an elite force, we're Weiss Kreuz, hunters of the knight.
Ginger: Ah, never heard of yah. *Twirls gum on finger*
Ken: Besides that, I work as a florist.
Ginger: You're a florist?????
Ken: Yep! *Smiles*
Ginger: Aren't male florist all.. you know..
Ken: No I don't know, never mind..
**Big man comes storming through the tables, and stands tall behind Ken**
Ginger: Bubba, get the hell outta here, ya hear me!!!
Bubba: But baby, I want you back!
Ken: *stands up* Well I'm Keeeennnnn. *looks up to see Bubba, and notices how big he is*
Ginger: *jumps on Ken* Come on baby! You're the only one for me!!! Not like Bubba, who didn't appreciate my skills..
Ken: You're a Stripper!!!
Ginger: So what, you're a damned florist.
Ken: Well, I uh.
Bubba: Come on baby, take me back.
Ginger: *starts kissing Ken* There's only one man for me..
Bubba: Oh hell no, you just kiss my girl?
Ken: Um.. yes?
Bubba: Let me take care of this bastard Ginger.. Then you and me, gonna get it on.
Ginger: Oh, I like it when you talk sexy.
Ken: O_o Help.
**Screen shows Ken getting pumbled by Bubba, and Ginger cheering him on**
Ginger: Kick him!!!
Ken: Mrffd. my head.
Bubba: Come back here I tain't done wit you.
Ken: SAVE ME!!!!! *Runs out of the restaurant*
Ginger: You rock my world, baby!
Bubba: *picks up Ginger and walks off* Time for Bubba to do his thang.
**Screen fuzzes out**
Barry Milton: Haha. So he's been unlucky so far, we're sure, he'll love his next date.
Tot: *throwing popcorn at the screen* Change the channel!!!
Barry Milton: We can't miss.
Weiss: Hahaha.. go Ken.
Schoen: *really getting into it* I wonder what his next date will be.
Crawford: Ten bucks says it's a man.
Schuldig: I wouldn't take that bet, but.. Ten bucks says its s deformed woman.
Farfello: Ten bucks says its now a female hooker, but used to be a man..
Schuldig and Crawford: DEAL!
Barry Milton: His last date is Mindy, a gentle person who is often lonely, but she has a cat, fluffy, to keep her busy.
**Screen shows Ken being kidnapped and dragged in a brown sac to someone's house, that is broken down and is filled with tons of cats**
Mindy: You must be Ken. Meow!
Ken: Um.. Where am I?
Mindy: *dressed as a cat, and is in her late 80's* I'm Mindy..
Ken: I think there;s some mistake.
Mindy: *carrying champagne* There's no mistake, hot stuff..
Ken: Um.. I'm florist, you don't want a guy like me..
Mindy: *changes to a deep male voice* No worries, I enjoy males like that.. Cause I used to be one..
Ken: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Mindy: Come and join me and the cats , GGggrrrr.
Ken: AAAAHHHHH CRAP!
Mindy: What?
Ken: I left my car keys in the car.
Mindy: Did, I mention I'm a hooker.?
Ken: GOD SAVe. me..
Farfello: He can't cause I gambled and one!! Go Mindy! *collects ten bucks from both Schuldig and Crawford, who are both frowning*
Ken: *Runs out of the house cursing* Wait, I have an idea!!! *runs off the screen*
Mindy: *steps out of the house* Darn it, lost another one.. Guess its just you and me fluffy.
Fluffy: Meow. *jumps on a fence, and runs away*
Mindy: Damn, all the good ones get away..
Barry Milton: Well it looks like Ken didn't have such.'
Ken: *is now back on stage* I'm back. Weiss, Schrient, Schwarz, come help me with this.
..................................
**Screen gets back into picture. Shows Weiss, Schrient, and Schwarz all helping with a large brown bag at Mindy's house. They toss the brown bag in the house and all run back to the studio**
Ken: Much better, now who's up for a date?
Weiss: Not a CHANCE!!
Schrient: Quiet, its back on.
Ken: Now, lets check in on our fellow host, Barry, how's it going down there Barry??
Barry Milton: HELP ME!! SOMEONE SAVE me,fffd.
**Screen shows the inside of the house with Barry tied up, and in Mindy's room. Mindy is sitting with her cats, laughing**
Mindy: I love this show..
Barry: Goithf.
**Cats crowd around Barry**
Barry: Oh hell.
Mindy: I love this show.
Crowd: Ahaahahah.
Tot: *eating popcorn* finally it got good..
**Everyone is crowding around the screen, watching and laughing. The producer is banging his head against a board backstage, saying, "I'm ruined.."**
...................................
Next episode: Episode 3: Brad Baby's Dating Wheel
**Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this one, there's plenty more to come.. talk to me sometimes, and maybe we'll discuss dating, lol**