Xenogears Laughter Machine 4000: A Fei "What If."
By: X-9 GHOST
Disclaimer: I do not own Xenogears. Square does.
Speech = ""
Actions = **
Sounds = []
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
What would it be like if Fei used the uncool word "Deus" to explain everything?
Bart "Yo, Fei, have you seen my whip?"
Fei: "Ergh...try asking Deus?" *turns the other way and 'secretly' hands Elly a 'FATIMA' brand whip*
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Margie: "Hi Fei. I was just wondering, did you happen to see somebody running out of the cathedral with my Chiffon Nisan?" *grins and flashes Fei her knife*
Fei: [BURP] "I think I saw Deus rushing out." *starts licking icing off of his fingers and lips*
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Citan: "Fei, I don't mean to be a pricky thorn, but did you just happen to stab my wife!?"
Fei: "No! It was Deus! I swear! That bloodthirsty 'god' is out to frame me!"
Citan: "WHAT!?" *flies off in Fenrir to kick Deus' ass*
Fei: "Phew." *proceeds to drag a bloody Yui's body into the closet, and then washes the blood stains off his shirt*
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Sigurd: "Fei, who just ripped apart the Yggdrassil!?"
Fei: "Uhhh...Deus! It was Deus!"
Sigurd: "Very well. Thank you for your time, Fei." *walks away*
Id: "Hehehehe. Fools."
A/N: OK, so the above one wasn't really funny.
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
What would it be like if Fei used the word "Id" (which is the coolest word known to the universe, IMHO) to explain everything?
Elly: "Fei, do you know who just messed up my entire wardrobe!?" *points to her room whereas there's silk panties and bras all over the bed and floor*
Fei: "I, umm...uhhh...it was Id! He made me do it!" *flicks one of the panties off his shoulder*
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Bart: "Alright, Fei. I have a question. Sigurd won't shut up about how horrible Deus is and how we should get our revenge on it for destroying the Yggdrassil. I don't believe him. Do you know anyone else who could've done it?"
Fei: "It was Id! I had no control! I was in Weltall at that time, and I was forced to watch Maitreya and some other guy get their asses whooped in their crappy gears. Then Id came out!...HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! That actually made sense!"
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Ramsus: "Fei, why am I so weak?"
Dominia: "Fei, who destroyed countless amounts of unnamed towns, and Elru, my homeland?"
Rico: "Yo Fei. Who killed my subordinates?"
Krelian: "Fei, do you know who destroyed the Solarian capital?"
Fei: "Dammit, one at a time! Ramsus, you're easy slap around, that's all. Dominia, Solaris forced Id to do it. Please don't blame me! Rico, yo subordinates are the weakest I've seen yet. And screw you, Krelian.
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Citan: "So Id seems to be the source of our problems.
Krelian: "And seeing how Id isn't present."
Ramsus: "We've decided to kill the next best thing.or person, in this case, to Id."
Everybody turns towards Fei.
Fei: "Hey, wait a minute now-"
Elly: "Don't worry honey, it won't hurt...much for the first few seconds."
Fei: "I can explain-"
BUT FEI DID NOT GET THE CHANCE TO EXPLAIN, BECAUSE ID CAME OUT AND 10 MINUTES LATER THE WORLD ENDED WHEREAS ID SAW EVERYTHING AS HIS ENEMIES AND KILLED WHATEVER HE SAW.
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Don't worry. There will be more chapters. I promise!
Version 1.0 - Fanfic is established
Version 1.1 - New title, small changes. Version History list added.
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
By: X-9 GHOST
Disclaimer: I do not own Xenogears. Square does.
Speech = ""
Actions = **
Sounds = []
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
What would it be like if Fei used the uncool word "Deus" to explain everything?
Bart "Yo, Fei, have you seen my whip?"
Fei: "Ergh...try asking Deus?" *turns the other way and 'secretly' hands Elly a 'FATIMA' brand whip*
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Margie: "Hi Fei. I was just wondering, did you happen to see somebody running out of the cathedral with my Chiffon Nisan?" *grins and flashes Fei her knife*
Fei: [BURP] "I think I saw Deus rushing out." *starts licking icing off of his fingers and lips*
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Citan: "Fei, I don't mean to be a pricky thorn, but did you just happen to stab my wife!?"
Fei: "No! It was Deus! I swear! That bloodthirsty 'god' is out to frame me!"
Citan: "WHAT!?" *flies off in Fenrir to kick Deus' ass*
Fei: "Phew." *proceeds to drag a bloody Yui's body into the closet, and then washes the blood stains off his shirt*
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Sigurd: "Fei, who just ripped apart the Yggdrassil!?"
Fei: "Uhhh...Deus! It was Deus!"
Sigurd: "Very well. Thank you for your time, Fei." *walks away*
Id: "Hehehehe. Fools."
A/N: OK, so the above one wasn't really funny.
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
What would it be like if Fei used the word "Id" (which is the coolest word known to the universe, IMHO) to explain everything?
Elly: "Fei, do you know who just messed up my entire wardrobe!?" *points to her room whereas there's silk panties and bras all over the bed and floor*
Fei: "I, umm...uhhh...it was Id! He made me do it!" *flicks one of the panties off his shoulder*
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Bart: "Alright, Fei. I have a question. Sigurd won't shut up about how horrible Deus is and how we should get our revenge on it for destroying the Yggdrassil. I don't believe him. Do you know anyone else who could've done it?"
Fei: "It was Id! I had no control! I was in Weltall at that time, and I was forced to watch Maitreya and some other guy get their asses whooped in their crappy gears. Then Id came out!...HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! That actually made sense!"
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Ramsus: "Fei, why am I so weak?"
Dominia: "Fei, who destroyed countless amounts of unnamed towns, and Elru, my homeland?"
Rico: "Yo Fei. Who killed my subordinates?"
Krelian: "Fei, do you know who destroyed the Solarian capital?"
Fei: "Dammit, one at a time! Ramsus, you're easy slap around, that's all. Dominia, Solaris forced Id to do it. Please don't blame me! Rico, yo subordinates are the weakest I've seen yet. And screw you, Krelian.
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Citan: "So Id seems to be the source of our problems.
Krelian: "And seeing how Id isn't present."
Ramsus: "We've decided to kill the next best thing.or person, in this case, to Id."
Everybody turns towards Fei.
Fei: "Hey, wait a minute now-"
Elly: "Don't worry honey, it won't hurt...much for the first few seconds."
Fei: "I can explain-"
BUT FEI DID NOT GET THE CHANCE TO EXPLAIN, BECAUSE ID CAME OUT AND 10 MINUTES LATER THE WORLD ENDED WHEREAS ID SAW EVERYTHING AS HIS ENEMIES AND KILLED WHATEVER HE SAW.
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Don't worry. There will be more chapters. I promise!
Version 1.0 - Fanfic is established
Version 1.1 - New title, small changes. Version History list added.
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~: