One Hell of A Night: Hell

***I do not own Weiss Kreuz!!!***

**Hell is sitting down in a secret room, and Schuldig is sitting in a second secret room. The others (Schrient, Weiss, and Schwarz) are all sitting in another private room; it's the set of a huge dating show. In this case, cameras, and the other friends follow the daters and people show up to help them along (as waiters and things like that). And best of all, they have beepers so the others can send them messages on how to act and all that. **

Hell: So who's my hot date?

Host (Ralph the Rat): Well, you'll be going on a date with Schuldig!!!

Hell: NO way????!!!!

The Rat: Yes way..

Hell: Damn-it!

The Rat: You'll be going on a date with.

Schuldig: Let it be a super model. oh please a super model.

The Rat: Hell!!

Schuldig: Did you just swear at me?

The Rat: No your date is Hell..

Schuldig: My date's going to be Hell?

The Rat: Hell!!!!

Schuldig: Hell?? Oh no.

**Everyone is sitting in their special rooms with little beepers and dressed up in out-fits**

Tot: This should be fun.

Farfello: I have to go pee..

Schoen: Well, I wonder what the dates are.

Neu: Ooouuuhhh. maybe a hot tub.

Yohji: This could be dirty.. ^_^

Omi: Hehe.. dirty.

Nagi: Hehe, he said dirty.

Crawford: *dressed as a stripper* Why do I have to wear this?

Aya: But it's so you, Crawford.

Ken: It brings out the color of your eyes..

Crawford: Really?

Yohji: Hahaha.. yea color of something.

Crawford: Go to hell!!!

Omi: Potty mouth.

Persia (on a small TV.): Why am I here?

Manx: Cause sir, you have to..

Persia: I have to what?

Ken: You have to be Karaoke singer!

Crawford: Least it's not a stripper!!!

Manx: He makes a good point..

Farfello: What do I get to do?

Omi and Nagi: *dressed as waiters* You get um..

Crawford: Help the cook!!!

Aya: Help the cook?

Ken: Yea.. he might set the place on fire.

The Rat: He'll be fine.. you guys ready????

Everyone: YEAH!!!!

**Restaurant scene, everyone is taking their places.**

Hell: So . um.. What do you want to talk about?

Schuldig: Tell me about yourself.

Hell: Well I was.

Omi: *Wearing waiter out-fit* What would you like to eat tonight?

Hell: Omi? What the hell are you doing here?

Schuldig: o_O

Nagi: We're your waiters for this evening, what would you like to eat.?

Hell: We don't have any menus!!!

Nagi: Hehe.. ooopppsss.

Schuldig: How are we supposed to order without any menus?

Omi: Well someone has a stick up their butt!!

Schuldig: O_o

Nagi and Omi: We'll go get your menus. *both rush off to kitchen*

~~~~~~~In Kitchen~~~~~~

Crawford: Do I go on yet?

Ken: NO!!!

Farfello: Add a little of this and a little of this..

Cook: That's hot sauce!!!

Farfello: *wearing a chef's hat* More of this.

Cook: OH dear lord.

Aya: 10 bucks says Farfello kills Schuldig.

Yohji: Wouldn't that be a shame.

Aya: Stranger things have happened.

Schoen: Remember that one incident with the old lady.

Ken: Don't remind me.

Tot: Poor Ken-Ken..

Crawford: Now?

Farfello: More of this..

Omi: *rushes in* We need menus people!!!

Neu: *starts throwing menu's at Omi's head* You want a menu, then have some!!!

Nagi: AAAHHH!! *Gets hit on head with menu..* X_X

Omi: Crap, we need another waiter.

**Everyone looks at Crawford**

Crawford: Don't look at me like that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Restaurant~~~~~~~~~~

Hell: Where the hell are our menus???

Shuldig: O_O

Hell: So what, I'm hungry.

Schuldig: Um.

Hell: Don't make me hurt you..

Schuldig: Yes.. mam.

Omi: I'm back.

Hell: Good for you.

Omi: Wow, sounds like someone has a.

Hell: *raises fist* ^_^

Omi: Sorry mam.

Crawford: What would you like to eat?

Schuldig: O_o Are you wearing a stripper's out-fit?

Hell: Hahaha.. I'll have the.,.

Crawford: Screw you all.

Schuldig: Nice butt, hahaha...

Crawford: Go to hell.

Hell: I'd like the burger, fires.

Schuldig: I'll have..

Hell: I'M NOT DONE YET!!!!

Schuldig: *_*

Hell: The steak, the salad, ..

~~~~~~5 minutes later~~~~~

Hell: And the mashed potatoes..

Schuldig: Damn.

Crawford: What would you like?

Schuldig: I think I'll have the lettuce.

Crawford: Lettuce?

Hell: Trying to keep your figure like me?

Schuldig: O_O Of course..

Crawford: *walks away with Omi, has butt cheeks hanging out of stripper out-fit*

Woman: OH dear LORD!!!

Blind Man: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kitchen~~~~~~~~~~

Farfello: What do I get to.

Cook: RUIN!!!

Farfello: Your jealous cause I hurt god!!!

Cook: I QUIT!!!!!! *Runs out*

Farfello: *gives peace sign* What do I get to make?

Crawford: I hate you guys.

Omi: *reads off list* .....

Ken: Damn!!!

Aya: All that for Schuldig???

Schoen: I bet it's for Hell, she eats tons.

Omi: All for Hell..

Farfello: *licks 2 knives in his hands* YAHOO!!!!

Neu: Great, I wonder, should we tell them Farfie's making the food?

Yohji: Nah.

Crawford: Oh yea, don't forget a piece of lettuce for Schuldig!

Farfello: WWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. *food is flying all over*

Nagi: What happened?? ... *gets hit on head with pan* X_x

Tot: Hehe!!

Crawford: Do I still have to wear this?

~~~~~~~~~30 minutes later.~~~~~~Restaurant~~~~~~~~~

Schuldig: So.. what's it like to be a.

Hell: THE FOOD'S HERE!!!

Crawford: *setting down trays with Omi* Here's all your food..

Omi: Smile!!!

Hell: Hehe.. smile. ^_^

Crawford: *~_@

Schuldig: Where's my lettuce????

Crawford: Omi..

Omi: *takes it out of pocket* Here it is!

Schuldig: UGH!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kitchen~~~~~~

Farfello: I hope they like my food.

Schoen: Why wouldn't they?

Farfello: *^_^*

Tot: Why are you smiling????

Neu: Uh.. oh..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~By Karaoke Area~~~~~~~~~

Persia: I don't want to.

Manx: You have it, it's only Karaoke.

Persia: I'd rather be a stripper..

Ken: Yay!!!

Yohji: Do it for the team.

Aya: And think of it this way.

Yohji: If you screw this up for Hell.

Aya: She'll kill you.

Ken: Hahaha..

Persia: @_@

Manx: You got a mic sir?

Persia: *Shown in own home, with Karaoke machine* Yea.

Ken: *grabs a microphone* ME TOO!!!

Manx: Fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Restaurant~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Schuldig: How's the meal?

Hell: *wolfing down food* MHMGmgkmgf,h..

Schuldig: ()_()

Hell: mgmnf,mg..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Karaoke Machine~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crawford: Do I have to dance??

Ken: DANCE!!!

Manx: Come on!!!!

Omi: DANCE!!!

***Music starts up, and it's 'Love at First Sight' by Kylie Minogue***

Crawford: Everything went from wrong to right!!!!

Omi: It was love.. at first sight.

Ken: We were meant to be.

Persia: *dancing on TV* WWWWEEEEEEEE!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~KITCHEN~~~~~~~~~~~

Farfello: We ran out of food, but we had these pills, and rats and other junk, and mold..

Schoen: WAIT!!! You did what??

Tot: Isn't Hell eating all this?

Farfello: I have to go pee..

Neu: Let's go save her!!!!

Tot: Do you smell smoke?

Farfello: I really have to go pee.

Neu: Don't move!!!

Farfello: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! *runs out to the bathroom*

***Smoke is building up and the fire is starting to rise all over..***

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Restaurant~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neu: Don't eat the.

Tot: The food!!!!!

Hell: Mgmgnfmg.

Schuldig: What a pig.

Tot: *knocks out Schuldig with umbrella* It's poisoned food!!!

Hell: Your just jealous cause I get to eat this all!!!

Schoen: Farfello made it all..

Hell: IT THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK.... *runs out to the bathroom* Ahh.. finally I can. Farfello??

Farfello: Peeing in the women's bathroom hurts god??

Hell: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

***Fire is starting to spread to the restaurant***

Crawford: ***shaking butt*** FOR THE FIRST TIME I KNEw.

Persia: Lalalalala. *shaking butt*

Manx: *starts snapping fingers* Cause love was meant to.

Farfello: Aaahhh.. hurt god... (going pee)

Hell: *throwing up outside* Blahh,.;.. Bastard Farfello.

Ken: Shake it!!!

Yohji: Anyone smell smoke?

Aya: SMOKE????

Women and Men: AAAAAAAHHHH THE RESTUARANTS ON FIRE!!!!!!

Omi: Son of a bitch.

Neu: What is it?

Omi: I think we should all run.

Persia: *is dropped by Manx* Run for your life!!!

Manx: Your on your own sir.

Ken: *grabbing the TV* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Farfello: ^_^

Hell: Damn you Farfello.. RHFH MDfmmf..

Nagi: *being dragged by Omi* Cause the first time I knew.. we were meant to..

Schuldig: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SAVE YOURSELF!!!

Schrient: Hurry up!! *all in the car and ready to drive off*

Yohji: *Running with Aya, carrying dirty magazines* We have to save the gold mine!!!

Neu: The gold mine..??

Aya: YEA, We're all save..

Hell: Damn it.

Tot: Let's all check in.. SCHRIENT!!!

Neu: Neu here!

Hell: Hell.. Farfello you're an ass.. blehh.

Schoen: That's disgusting! Oh yea, Schoen here!

Crawford: *still wearing stripper out-fit* Schwarz!

Schuldig: why does Farfello ruin all these dates? Oh yea, Schuldig here..

Crawford: Lettuce boy!

Schuldig: Stripper boy!!!

Crawford: *^_^* You know you want me.

Schuldig: *throws up along side Hell* That's sick!!!

Nagi: *rubbing head with hand* Ouchh.. oh yea, Nagi-kins here.

Omi: *rubbing Nagi's head* This is fun!

Ken: Well Omi's here, me, Ken-Ken is here!

Aya: Aya, still here!

Yohji: Hot stud Yohji is still here!!

Crawford: Well that's everyone..

Hell: AAHHH!!! YOU RUINED MY EVENING!!

Yohji: Where's Farfello???

***Building collapses as firemen hose it down, Farfello is washing his hand and walks out to the car***

Hell: Starting with you!!!!!!

Farfello: Did I hurt god?

Hell: I'm going to do more then that!!! ASS!!!

Omi: Hehe.. ass.

Nagi: She said Ass.

Persia: Let's all Karaoke!!!

Manx: *everyone starts dancing, except for Hell who's chasing Farfello down the street* It was love at first site..

The Rat: Wait, what about my show??

Producer: *whispers something to the Rat*

The Rat: Oh? I'm fired.. You can't fire me..

Producer: *pulls out baseball bat*

The Rat: OH dear.. *starts running, Producer chases the Rat*

Farfello: This has been a "Hurt God Productions"!!

Hell: You can't run from me pee boy!!!!!

Farfello: WWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Like me food?

Hell: BLEH!! *throws up food* Damn you to.

Farfello: HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL!!!

Next: 5 Dates, 5 Drinks: Nagi

Author's Notes: I hope you are enjoying this series, there's plenty more to cover!! Read and Review, tell me what you think, and any ideas on what the other's should go through!!

~Murakumo~