Chapter 2

AUTHOR'S NOTES, DISCLAIMERS, AND OTHER RANDOM JUNK:

If you are a Nintendo exec who wants to sue me, read the disclaimer at the beginning of Chapter 1. In fact, if you are anybody who hasn't read Chapter 1 yet go read that, because this story is difficult to understand if you jump in at Chapter 2. Or any later chapter, for that matter. Okay, maybe I should shut up now.

As Racu left the cavern of the Zora Sage, he spoke to the King Zora one last time to see what gift he had to give. It seemed like every single person he had met so far (except Maple and Team Gemini) had some kind of gift or something to give him.

"Blub, blubber, take this Zora Scale," said the King.

*Racu received the Zora Scale!*

(A/N: I'm going to stop doing that little *You recieved the _________* thing now because it takes forever to format unless it's for a really special item, like an Essence of Healing.)

"You'll need it, blub, to get, blub, into the Sea of Storms, blub, blub, blubber butt. I can also tell you, blub, that the first dungeon is, blub, on the coast north of here in the Fairies' Woods. Uuuuuhhhh, you wouldn't have any Zora Pork Rinds, would you?"

"Err, no," replied Racu, eyeing the King's belly again.

"Well, if you find some, blub, I'd be most grateful. Got to keep my blub, weight level up. Doctors orders. Blubber, blub, goodbye!"

Racu left Zora's Domain rather hurriedly and surfaced. Then, he began to swim north, toward the coastline, but was intercepted halfway through by a man floating around over the ocean on a giant balloon. Racu looked up, equipped his Harp of Ages and grabbed a rock off an island, placed the rock on a harp string, pulled back, and let fly.

With an enormous POP! the balloon broke into bits and the elf-like creature holding it fell to the ground. "TINGLE, TINGLE, KOOLOO LIMPAH!" screamed the man. "TINGLE GETS WET!!!! TINGLE GETS WET!!!! TINGLE DOESN'T LIKE TO GET WET!!!! OOOH, GET POOR TINGLE OUT OF THE COOOOOLD WATER!"

Racu stared in amazement at the Tingle creature, who seemed to be slowly drowning, for almost a full minute before realizing suddenly that he needed help. "Okay, one minute, Tingle," he said, "And I'll swim you to shore."

"TINGLE IS GLAD TO HAVE HELP FROM NICE CREATURE!" The odd little man grabbed onto Racu's robes and he began paddling slowly toward shore, which was difficult because Tingle kept muttering darkly about "coooooold water" and dragging him downward. When they reached shore, Tingle turned around to face him.

"Thank you, thank you, nice little creature," said Tingle. "Tingle is glad that-" suddenly, Tingle broke off abruptly and stared at Racu as though seeing him for the first time. "ARE YOU A FOREST FAIRY?!?!?!?!?!" he screeched. "A what?" Racu asked confusedly. "MY FAIRY! HE HAS COME AT LAST! HOORAY! TINGLE IS SAVED!"

"Uh, Tingle? I'm not a fairy," Racu attempted to explain.

"OH, TINGLE KNEW HIS FAIRY WOULD COME SOMEDAY," the elf-man shrieked, taking no notice of Racu's words. Finally, Racu drew a breath and screamed "I'M NOT A FAIRY!" at the top of his lungs. Tingle fell suddenly silent. "Y-y-you're not?" he asked sadly. "Well, Tingle will keep waiting then."

"Say, Tingle," he asked suddenly, remembering the King Zora's words. "Do you know about any cavern in the coast near the Fairies' Woods?"

Upon hearing the keyword "fairies" Tingle began screaming again. "THE FAIRIES WOODS!" Tingle screamed. "MY HOME SWEET HOME! TINGLE MUST GO BACK TO THE FAIRIES WOODS! HE WILL TAKE LITTLE GREEN PERSON WITH HIM! COME, COME!"

Tingle withdrew a small red balloon from a pouch on his rear, blew it up with much huffing and puffing, and dragged himself and Racu into the air. They were off, going northwest toward the Fairies' Woods.

Eventually, they reached a small opening in the rock coast below the Fairies' Woods, where faint strands of insanely annoying music could be heard blasting. "Here is the dark, spooky cave," Tingle said, "But poor Tingle is too scared to go in spooky cave."

"It's okay, Tingle," said Racu. "I'll go in by myself."

"NO WAIT!" screamed Tingle in such a way that Racu was sure he was hyperventilating. "Tingle must say his magic words first! TINGLE, TINGLE, KOOLOO LIMPAH! There! He invented them himself. Don't you steal them!"

"Er, don't worry, Tingle," Racu replied uncertainly. "I wasn't planning to."

Racu let go of Tingle's balloon and dropped down into the water, then swam two feet into

*** Level 1: Stalactite Cave ***

As soon as he entered the cavern, Racu slipped on his Subrosian Ring, so he could feel more at home with his skills. Exiting up from the first room, Racu saw a room that was filled with monsters. He stunned them all easily with his Subrosian boomerang, but without a sword, he couldn't defeat any of them and open the path to the next room. Therefore, he left the room back to the entry room and went right. In this room, he was shocked by what he saw.

A teen-aged Hylian girl was trapped in a cage of stalactites that had fallen off the ceiling. She was lying on the ground because several of the stalactites had pierced her clothing and were pinning her there. She was struggling to no avail. Behind her stalactite prison lay a treasure chest.

Racu quickly took off his Subrosian Ring and walked up to her. "Need a little help?" he asked.

"Ah, yes, please," she told him. "I know this makes me look like a klutz, but trust me, this wasn't my fault…"

Racu whipped out his Boomerang and shot it at each stalactite in turn. They all shattered into tiny rock shards.

"Thanks," she said. "Let me tell you how this happened to me. Princess Zelda sent me from Hyrule to try to collect the Essences of Healing, because she foresaw that Holodrum and Labrynna were about to fall into grave danger again. I said I would, but when I got here to the first dungeon, I was ambushed by two weird guys in identical robes- they called themselves Team Gemini or something. They told me that they were the heroes now and they somehow made all these stalactites fall on me! Then they ran off, probably to collect the next Essence of Healing."

"Team Gemini?" Racu asked sharply. "I've had some problems with them."

Racu quickly sorted out the information he had been given. This must mean that the hero Zelda had sent, this girl, hadn't been the inferior one. In the course of history that led up to his life, she had probably died in this prison here, and it had been Team Gemini who had failed. So they messed up history… and caused the destruction of Holodrum and Labrynna.

"We have to collect the Essence in here before Team Gemini does," Racu realized aloud. "Trust me on this. This may sound odd, but I come from the future, and I know-"

"The future?" exclaimed the girl.

"Yes, the future," said Racu impatiently. "A future of doom. I hate to tell you this, but in the future I come from, you died in this prison of stalactites, the Team Gemini failed to collect the Essences, and both Labrynna and Holodrum were destroyed. That's why we have to collect all the Essences before Team Gemini does."

"All right, I'm with you," said the girl. "My name's Eliza, but you can call me Liz. What's your name?"

"Racu," Racu replied tersely. "Come on, I need to find a sword so I can defeat all the enemies in the next room."

Liz opened the treasure chest behind where the stalactites had fallen only to reveal- A L1 Wooden Sword! "Take it," she said. "I already have one." She whipped out her own sword and did a spin attack.

"Cool," said Racu. "Let's go."

The two heroes backtracked to the room with all the enemies and quickly dispatched the three Tektites, four Floormasters, and one Moblin before proceeding to the next room. The next room was quite empty.

"I have a bad feeling about this…" said Racu.

Suddenly, from the ceiling, a small little rock with two arms, each hand balled in a fist that was easily ten times the size of it's small body.

"The mini-boss," announced Liz. "Rocksmasher!"

Rocksmasher began the battle by pounding his fist into the ground, causing tons of stalactites to fall. Liz and Racu leaped clear. Racu drew his sword and charged, dodging the Rocksmasher's fists, and did a Spin Attack on the body. It had no effect.

Racu was stunned for a moment, and one of the fists came down on his head, doing considerable damage. Racu leapt out just as Liz jumped and slashed one of the fists. Again, no effect.

"Alright," said Liz. "Try taking this."

She drew a Bomb from her pack and threw it at the Rocksmasher. It exploded, causing one of the Rocksmasher's fists to fall off. Racu, by this time, had exchanged his sword for his trusty Boomerang, and threw it at the Rocksmasher's body. This time, it did damage.

"He's like an Armos Knight," Racu shouted to Liz. "Bomb him, then use the Boomerang!"

Before Rocksmasher could really recover, Liz threw another bomb, stunning him once more, and Racu Boomeranged off his second fist. With no fists left, Rocksmasher had no more way to do damage. Drawing their swords, Liz and Racu ran at Rocksmasher at the same time, both slashing him at once, causing his tiny boulder body to explode.

"Yay, we won!" said Liz as a warp portal to the entrance and the door leading onward opened. "You take the fairy," she said as the small healing creature appeared. "You got injured more than I did."

"Yes, thank you for defeating that thing for us," said two new voices as Team Gemini stepped through the warp portal.

"I see you escaped from your prison," sneered Pollux. "Not to say, of course, that we won't just put you both in another one!"

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure, said Racu, stepping forward and drawing his sword. "Remember me, your old friend?"

"Step aside, fool," snarled Castor. "We have better-"

But he was cut off short as Racu slipped on his Subrosian Ring and Team Gemini suddenly recognized him.

"YOU!" screeched both brothers at the same time. They drew their swords and the fight was on.

Racu stepped in with a quick Spin Attack, knocking both brothers back, and then he whirled around to catch Castor in the side. Unfortunately, as he was doing this, Pollux sidestepped Racu's wild swing backward and hit Racu's unguarded right side. Now, Castor was back up again as well, and Racu didn't have time for another Spin Attack. He slashed at Pollux, knocking him to his knees, but Castor was slashing him in the back. He was losing hearts quickly.

It was almost all over when suddenly, with a furious Spin Attack followed by several short swipes, Liz stepped in with her own sword, slashing Castor. Racu continued until Pollux was defeated, Liz took on Castor, until both twins were out.

"Well, congratulations this time," they said. "But there are other fish in the sea and other Essences in Labrynna!"

Both brothers stepped into the Warp Portal and were gone.

Liz stood facing the warp portal, with her fists balled. "Those two imbeciles…" she growled.

"C'mon," said Racu. "This dungeon isn't beaten yet."

Liz turned around and faced him. "By the way," she said, "can I see what stuff you have? I noticed you have a Subrosian Ring…"

"Sure," said Racu, "but it isn't much. I've got a Subrosian Boomerang, a L1 Wooden Shield, my Sword, and that Subrosian Ring I showed you."

"Cool," Liz said. "I've got 8 bombs left after that battle with Rocksmasher, a L1 Wooden Sword and Shield, and a Seed Satchel with 20 Ember, Scent, and Pegasus seeds. Anyway, I think we'd better move on."

They left the mini-boss room through the open door and continued north, finding a Small Key in a chest to their north. Using it in the north lock in a room to their left, they found a puzzle involving hitting four statues arranged in a horizontal rectangle within 1 second of each other. Racu figured out how to solve it by having Liz plant a bomb by the upper-left one then run and slash the lower-left one as the bomb exploded, while he stood at the lower-right statue and released his Boomerang at the upper-right statue as he slashed the statue he stood by. This revealed a chest containing the Boss Key.

"We're making real progress now," said Liz. "Just a few more rooms to go before we face the boss…"

"And we're supposed to look forward to that?" asked Racu.

They retraced their steps one room and went west another room to find a room filled with Keese and what looked like a lighting-torches puzzle. Racu and Liz quickly dispatched the Keese and began solving yet ANOTHER exciting puzzle.

"Hmm," said Liz. "We have to light these four torches. Seems easy enough."

She pulled out her Seed Satchel and grabbed an Ember Seed.

"Hurry up, alright?" complained Racu. "I'm bored already."

"Don't worry, I'm going," said Liz as she began to loop around the four torches, lighting each one with an Ember Seed. Fifteen minutes later, she was still looping.

"WHAT THE HECK!?!?!?!?" screeched Liz. "I go AROUND and AROUND and AROUND, and I NEVER SEEM TO GET ALL FOUR TORCHES LIT!"

Racu had been watching Liz with amusement. "By the time you get all the way around, the first torch has gone out. You need two people. And I can't help you because I don't have a Seed Satchel."

"ARGH! You mean you watched me do this for FIFTEEN MINUTES and NEVER SAID ANYTHING!?!?!?!?!"

"Uh, yeah?" replied Racu uncertainly.

When Liz finished screaming, both heroes began to search the room for another way to solve the puzzle. Racu was the first one to notice the weak wall at the bottom of the room.

"Hey Liz," he shouted across the room to where she was poking one of the torches with her sword. "Toss me a bomb!"

She looked up. "What for?" she shouted back.

"Just toss me one, okay?" Racu shouted back.

Liz pulled out a bomb with a wicked grin on her face and tossed it just as it was about to explode. "ARGH!" shouted Racu as it exploded all over him. "THAT HURT!"

Liz snickered and went back to her poking. Racu noticed that the bomb had destroyed the weak wall. "Cool!" he said before going in. Liz didn't notice.

Racu found a small room containing a Beamos and three Red Wizzrobes.

"ARGH!" he screamed. "THE TWO MOST ANNOYING MONSTERS IN THE GAME! You mean I have to defeat two RANDOMLY TELEPORTING Red Wizzrobes while dodging a BEAMOS also! This is impossible!"

Twenty minutes later and several hearts fewer, Racu managed to defeat all the Wizzrobes. When he did this, the Beamos suddenly transformed into a treasure chest. "Yay!" said Racu as he opened the treasure chest for his very own Seed Satchel with Ember and Mystery seeds. He walked back into the room where Liz was, where she was attempting to blow up the torches with her bombs.

"Hey Liz," he shouted. "I have a Seed Satchel now!"

"Oh, goody," she said without emphasis as a bomb exploded in her face. "I need a Bombproof Ring… anyway, lets solve the puzzle."

Liz lit two torches and Racu lit two more, which revealed a treasure chest containing the final Small Key. They took this back to the room above the mini-boss room and used it on the other side. Then, after making sure they were all healed and fully stocked with Seeds and Bombs, they entered the Boss Door.

The room was silent at first. Then, a steady "drip, drip" of water onto the floor from a stalactite on the ceiling began. It was eerie.

"Where's the boss?" Racu asked as the water dripping from the ceiling began to form a stream.

"Dunno," replied Liz, nonplussed, as the water began to run towards her. She began walking towards the center of the room. Suddenly, when she was less than two inches away from the stream, the stream of water exploded into a giant floating water droplet.

"I am Calcafos," said the giant water droplet THING. "Can you take my mighty cave-carving limestone watery MIGHT?!?!?!?!"

"Uh, we'll get back to you on that one," Racu muttered as Calcafos drenched Liz with calcite acid. Racu drew his sword and shield and raced at Calcafos. He slashed the giant water droplet in half and it fell to the ground, motionless.

"I get a weird feeling about this," said Liz as she backed away slowly. Suddenly, the two half droplets became two full-sized Calcafoes! (proper plural of Calcafos)

"DON'T USE YOUR SWORD!" Liz screeched as Racu prepared to bring his blade down on one of them. Racu looked at her, and paid for his lapse in concentration by getting drenched in poison. "It'll just make more of them," Liz explained. "Let's try another method."

She drew a Bomb and threw it right into the center of the Calcafos nearest her. It exploded, shattering the Calcafos into a million raindrops. "Yay, I did it!" shouted Liz happily.

"Um, Liz?" Racu asked, as he pointed behind her.

"WE DID IT WE DID IT WE DID IT!" she continued happily.

"LIZ! LOOK BEHIND YOU!" Racu screamed twice as loudly. Behind Liz, each little raindrop had turned into a full-sized Calcafos and they were all coming towards her, shooting droplets of poison water.

"OH MY DEAR SWEET TRIFORCE!" Liz screamed in pure terror.

"Quick, try another tack," thought Racu. On a hunch he drew out his Seed Satchel and took a Seed of each type- Ember and Mystery- in each hand. He threw the Ember seeds at one group of Calcafoes, the Mystery seeds at the other group. The Ember seeds caused the water in the Calcafoes to evaporate, forming a stalactite on the ceiling, while the Mystery seeds caused them to harden where they were, forming a stalagmite. However, the boss still wasn't finished with them, as the stalactite and stalagmite began to inch closer and closer to the two heroes.

"Try a bomb now, Liz" suggested Racu. Liz drew two bombs. One she threw at the stalagmite right away. It blew up into fragments and rock dust. For the other, she waited until it was about to explode before throwing it up. As she hoped, it blew up near the ceiling before coming back down, and the stalactite was destroyed as well.

"HOORAY!" screamed Liz. "This time, we REALLY beat Calcafos!"

Two Heart Containers appeared, one where each rock formation had been, and a door to the next room opened. In the next room, Liz and Racu climbed the stairs to receive

*You received the Infused Water, an Essence of Healing!*

The two heroes congratulated themselves as they were warped out of the dungeon, wondering what the next challenge would be.