FEAR

Chapter Four

            It seemed like forever I waited for a response from Elisa, I'd charged my phone and waited by it like an idiot, and when it finally rang I jumped so high and grabbed onto it nervously.  It was Elisa, and she had called to advise me that Miss Alena Martin had agreed to go to the rooftop of her building.  I readied myself, the rain had stopped, I dried my hair and desperately tried to make myself look presentable – never had appearance been important to me as much as it had now.  I did not want to scare her – not like the last time, I'd seen the way she'd looked at me.  The only disguise I could really find was an old hooded cape, thick black material, like a monks cowl.  I pulled it on, and pushed the fabric way back as I spread my wings, it would weigh me down a little but it would lessen my frightening appearance a little. 

            I left the castle silently, stretching my wings and gliding out into the sky, the air was always so fresh after a rainstorm, and the breeze was perfect for gliding. 

            In my mind, I went through all the things I would say to Alena, all the things I wished I could, I wanted to be friends, I wanted to get to know her, but I kept trying to remind myself I wasn't human, I was a Gargoyle, and somehow, things wouldn't be the way I wanted them to be no matter how hard I tried. 

            I arrived before she did, I was glad of this, I folded my wings down and brought the cape down over my shoulders and pulled the hood up, and coiled my tail around my leg so she wouldn't see, and then I stood, looking over the edge of the building, a hooded figure shrouded in mystery.  I looked ridiculous, but then again, didn't I always?

            "Hello?"

            I heard her voice, and every part of me froze inside, and I slowly turned, wondered if she could see my beak that was more or less probably sticking out of the hood.  I could barely see a thing through the oversized hood, and I kept my head low, "hello."

            "This is a bit suspicious isn't it?  I know it's you – I saw you fly over here," Alena was standing in an aviator jacket, her hair pulled into a ponytail, her face looked freshly scrubbed.

            "Oh…" I felt sheepish, I did not adjust the hood though, "I'm sorry…I…did not want to scare you."

            "You didn't?  And coming here looking like a creepy black monk or something from that movie, 'The Fog', was going to help you achieve that on the non-scare factor?" She demanded.

            "I…uhm…" I faltered, unsure of what to say.  "Why aren't you scared?  I'm a Gargoyle – you're meant to be scared…aren't you?"

            "Well, generally I might have been, but you saved me from the two rapists – you didn't seem like you wanted to hurt me…I've watched you a lot…you don't seem all that vicious or scary – apart from when you attacked those thugs," She shrugged, "I've heard about Gargoyles, I've seen you, why should I be scared."

            "I don't know."

            "Are you going to stand there, cloaked in mystery like something from a bad horror movie?" Alena asked, she stepped a little closer, I looked straight at her, even in this darkness I could pick up all her features remarkably, she was wearing no makeup this time – and looked spectacular (as far as humans go).

            "I explained why I disguised myself, I'd rather remain this way for a bit, thank you…" I trailed off, "so…uhm…are you alright?  Did those thugs hurt you or anything?  I did stop them before they—" I tried.

            "You got to me in time, yes," Alena hugged herself against the cold, "so – you know the lady cop then, huh?  Detective Maza?"

            "She was my clan's first friend," I responded, "She told me that you'd reported the incident."

            "I gathered that…so why did you ask me up here?" Alena asked softly.

            "To…apologise for being so harsh…I realise I have a bad attitude," I looked down at the ground, "Why do you watch me so much?" I asked.

            "Because you're fascinating…something about you just enthrals me, I've never seen something like you before…" Alena looked at me, her eyes widening with wonderment.  "Every night I go to the window, hoping to see you there…"
            I raised my head, and reached up to the hood, I suddenly felt a little better and lowered the hood back a little just so I could see better, "But I'm a monster…" I trailed off.

            "You're not a monster, you're just…different," Alena shrugged, I could see she was being brave about all this, I knew inside she must have been scared but, I don't know, it seemed like she was pretending she wasn't just to make me feel better.  "Do you have a name?" she asked of me.

            "Brooklyn," I murmur.

            "Nice name.  I'm Alena," She introduced.

            "I know…" I stood, unsure of what to say next.  It was awkward.

            "So…you're a Gargoyle?"

            "Duh," I smirked a bit, "what gave it away?"

            "Oh…the impressive wingspan," she shrugged.

            "You think it's impressive?" I asked, feeling a touch of pride for my wings.

            "Definitely.  Not everyone can fly."

            "I don't fly, I glide," I corrected.

            "Same shit, different pile," Alena remarked, she smiled, "Take the cloak off…please?"

            "I'd rather stay concealed thanks…" I stepped back a little

            Alena looked at me, "Are you always so afraid of people?"

            "I have no fear," I lied.

            "You lie badly," Alena said, "Would you like to come inside?"

            "I can't just walk down the stairs, Alena," I reminded, "look at me…"

            "You're cloaked, no one will see, it is midnight, you know."

            "I…uh…I'd rather not."

            "You say you have no fear, why not? Do you have more important things to do?" She raised an eyebrow.

            "I…I really need to go, Alena," I sighed.

            "Are you afraid to trust me?"

            "Never," I looked at her, although this she could see too, was a lie.

            "Okay, I…I won't push you.  I'd be suspicious too, under the same circumstances…"

            "I must go now," I said, "but I may be back another time," I stated, and with that, I pushed back the cloak and leapt from the building, letting my wings spread.

            I couldn't believe I was acting this way, I used to remember a time I would tell Lexington that we can't let fear and hatred consume us forever, to ignore it and remember what was important.  And now I was ignoring my words, especially letting fear of betrayal and rejection consume me again.  I knew this would be turning me bitter, twisting me inside and out.

            But at least I'd done more than just sit around feeling sorry for myself – I had taken the next step – I'd met Alena – even though there was a slight risk involved. 

I knew deep inside, I would need to hold my secret tight to me, not even tell Lexington or Broadway – especially not Goliath.  If Goliath found out he'd only think I was foolish for going off alone to meet someone when it could pose a threat to the clan.  I didn't care what he thought anymore.  I was going to begin thinking for myself.

I didn't feel much like going back home straight away – and even though it was my night off, I spent most of the night fighting crime in the more dangerous parts of the City, Goliath would have thought me imprudent for going into such areas alone, but I really had nothing to fear from the city itself – or the criminals that infested it.  I had obligations to protect the city despite I was not really on agreement terms with Goliath right now.  I did as I always had, and acted in my instincts, I saved a few people that night, and although I got hurt a few times, I didn't care.  All through the night, I was there, making the streets a safer place once again.

I arrived at the castle ten minutes before Sunrise, and Hudson was standing at the usual place I spent my stone slumber during the day – another violation of my space, I frowned, but then I realised Hudson looked upset, and my frown died away, "Hudson…you look upset," I landed on the battlements nearest to old Hudson, and gazed at him curiously.

"Aye," Hudson sighed, "Goliath has not returned – and it is almost sunrise," He was perched looking out in case he should see a familiar shape gliding towards us from the distance.

            This news left me rather shaken, "he's not back yet?" I looked around, "that is…so unlike him…" My voice trembled.

            "Aye," Hudson stated.

"And he left no instructions are anything as to whether he would not be back before sunrise?" I asked.

"No," Hudson folded his arms, "No instructions, no information divulged what so ever – he did not even advise us of where he would be patrolling tonight."

"Oh…" I murmured, my heart thudding hard, my mind began running through thousands of worries, what if he were in danger?  What if he had been kidnapped, what if someone had shot him down from the skies?  What if…

"I felt I should report to you since you are our second in command," Hudson put a lot of emphasis in the words 'second in command' as if he were trying to put a point across to me.

            "It's ten minutes to sunrise…there isn't much anyway can really do, we can't go out there in case we get caught in the air when we turn to stone," I sighed, "I will call Elisa, maybe he's over there—"

            "Elisa just left us, he is not there," Hudson remarked, "I guess you're right though, there is not much we can do with sunrise so close, lets just hope he has misjudged the time, and cannot make it here in time.  Hopefully he has found a safe place to hide until sunset," Hudson sighed.

            My mind rested uneasy.  It wasn't like Goliath not to come back before sunrise – unless there was trouble.  We all had an agreement we had to be all back at least before half an hour to sunrise – and if one of us could not make it we at least had the decency to call one of the others with the Cellular phones Xanatos had bestowed upon us – I never stuck to this rule, but I was rebellious, Goliath is not the same way.

            "He'll be back by tomorrow night," I told them, "there's nothing to worry about," I tried to assure.        

            In my head, I was more worried than they were.